Note: Hermione wondered a bit about interpersonal non-human relationships in Part 1 of the series, so I decided to explain it a little further here in a separate side story. I have also included little bits of foreshadowing for things that have not been explained, yet, but that will definitely come up later in the series.
Angelic Anatomy
"Wait! Are you saying that you have a magical penis?" Hermione rephrased Il's explanation of his angelic anatomy to make sure that she had not misunderstood. However, she might had repeated it in a bit of a higher pitch than usual due to her complete surprise at the knowledge.
At her choice of wording, though, Ignis lost his cool and accidentally spit a mouthful of soda across the table where the residents of Enchanté...as well as their regular guest, Rindo...were engaged in the conversation. None of them, however, had suspected that the simple discussion on non-human biology would somehow drift so wildly off-track from where it had all originally started.
Unfortunately, Canus just happened to be sitting across from the firewolf at the time...and directly in the path of the violently displaced liquid. Much to his appreciation, however...as shown when his angry red neck flames faded down to a calm blue...the witch took a moment to send a cleansing spell his way...and then to scold Ignis...before she continued.
"I'm pretty sure I've heard that one before," Hermione finally responded to Il's statement in a more controlled tone this time. "However, it seems as if...instead of just using that as a really bad pick-up line...you actually mean it literally."
This time it was Rindo who reacted by clearing his throat loudly and repeatedly in an attempt to keep a straight face, while...next to him...Ignis shook with silent laughter after the soda incident. At the head of the table, opposite from Hermione, Misyr remained silent, but the glittering jade eyes above his coffee cup danced with obvious mirth, anyway.
Il...blissfully unaware of the current atmosphere...just nodded his beautiful head earnestly.
"Of course I do! After all, as I have mentioned, angels do not biologically reproduce the way humans do. Therefore, gender is not a necessity in our world. However, I became curious when otome games opened my eyes to the beauty of male/female love. Therefore, since Souan and the other Regulars here at the café all identified as male, I diligently studied the anatomy books and magazines that Misyr kindly procured for me for research purposes. Then, I carefully performed all of the magical calculations so that I could create the perfect male features for my human form and present myself as the same gender they all did."
After that explanation, Il looked thoughtful for a moment before he smiled brightly in his usual angelic way.
"Oh! I know!" he exclaimed. "Would you like to see...and perhaps also touch...my male anatomy?" He reached for the opening of the robes he always wore in his human form. "After all, I'm quite proud of my initial design...and everything does seem to be in working order...but your feedback could provide valuable insight as to its appearance and increased functuality..."
His light voice, brimming with absolute innocence and sincerity, trailed off when Ignis abruptly hit the floor. Apparently, the firewolf could no longer contain himself...or stay in his seat...when the force of his repressed laughter finally exploded outwards.
However, Il simply disregarded the demon beast's antics and reached for his robes again.
"I...um..." Hermione uncharacteristically stumbled over her words as she realized that she did not know what to say or do in order to dissuade him.
She liked to think that in her normal professional capacity she could be cool and detached enough to do what he asked. After all, she had occasionally received stranger...although far less personal...requests from her non-human clients before. However, she also knew there was no way at the current time that she could just ogle and fondle their angelic baby bird! Therefore, in her desperation to find a way out of the situation, she shot a pleading look towards Misyr, instead.
However, the demon did nothing but grin cheerfully at her predicament before he calmly continued to sip his coffee.
Consequently, Hermione did the only thing she could possibly do in such a situation. She sacrificed her fellow human and threw him completely underneath the oncoming bus. After all, she felt that she still owed the man for his ignominious behavior at the beginning of their acquaintance, anyway. Plus, even he had admitted that she had let him off the hook too easily then.
"Wouldn't it make more sense if Rindo were to check that for you?" she therefore suggested with as straight of a face as she could possibly manage, even as she steadfastly ignored the startled yelp that came from the direction of the man in question...and the howl of laughter that rose up from the floor, as well. "After all, he is an actual human male, and can determine if everything is indeed present and accounted for. Females have completely different anatomy, you know. Therefore, I might just miss something if I am the one to do the inspection."
"Yes," Il replied thoughtfully before he favored the woman with another one of his beautiful smiles. "You are right, as usual, Hermione. Thank you very much for your careful consideration of the situation!"
Il's obvious gratitude made her feel a little guilty over her duplicity. However, she comforted herself with the knowledge that she had not really lied about anything she said.
Nevertheless, she was not very surprised when...in order to make his escape...Rindo suddenly recalled that he had urgent business to attend to at GPM Headquarters.
"Do not worry, Rindo. You can assist me with the matter on your next visit." Il's purehearted response simply made Ignis bang his fists on the floor as he experienced another laughing fit.
"Ignis, Please don't dent the dining room floor. I just cleaned it!" Hermione spared a moment to urge caution to the incredibly strong demon beast before she turned her attention back to the GPM agent who was prepared to make a run for the door.
In truth, Hermione knew that...as uncomfortable as Rindo probably was with the subject matter at hand...it was also his job to take care of non-humans in need. Therefore, if Il felt that he really needed confirmation that his magical handiwork was indeed anatomically correct, then the man would somehow find a way to provide him with an answer. Hermione had now worked with him enough to know that was just the kind of bloke he was...even though he often hid that noble and responsible side of himself very well.
Accordingly, when she silently mouthed the name, "Mikado," to him as a small peace offering for setting him up, she was not really surprised when he nodded in confirmation. Apparently, they were on the same wavelength when it came to a solution to the problem and he had already thought of that particular answer, as well. After all, she already knew from her own consultant work at the GPM, that the extremely eccentric scientist, Akiro Mikado, was not only a good friend of Rindo's, but he was also the top researcher in the Non-Human Biology department there, as well. Consequently, he was also usually the one who provided the physical examinations for any new arrivals.
As a result, Mikado would probably be head over heels in joy and excitement at the idea of a meeting with Il in the first place. Also, completely unlike Rindo, he would be absolutely at ease with discussing and checking...and even helping with redesigning, if necessary...such personal anatomical matters with the angel.
It really was the perfect solution. Therefore, after she said her goodbyes to the very much relieved Rindo, she explained the new plan to Il.
Fortunately, the angel agreed with his usual easy serenity that such an expert would probably indeed be an even better source of confirmation for him. Then, with supreme unconcern, he left to go back up to his room and start another route on his current otome game. As a result, that was the end of the interesting discussion for the time being.
At least it was until Ignis, who had finally composed himself enough to get off the floor at the mention of Mikado, grumbled to them all. "He can help the angel, but that whackjob better not try to take any more of my blood!"
In fact, the residents who were left in the dining room could hear him as he muttered to himself all the way to his room on the next floor, as well.
Hermione just smiled, since she suspected the big bad firewolf simply had a fear of needles. However, it was the truth that Mikado did love his blood samples...and eagerly collected them whenever he could. Her cheerful look quickly faded away, though, as she remembered exactly why the study of non-human blood was so important to him.
Thankfully, that train of thought was interrupted and her good mood returned when Misyr spoke to her in his usual teasing tone.
"I'm impressed. That was very well handled. In fact, I think I'll be able to make a cheating Demon Princess out of you, yet!"
"Is that so?" she countered as she turned it right back on him. "Because you were completely useless, you know!" She paused and her look turned into an even more mischievous one before she continued. "Never mind that, though. What I would really like to know is exactly what kind of "anatomical magazines" did you get for Il to use as reference materials?"
"Why?" Misyr asked with exaggerated innocence. "Do you feel the need for a little private time in order to peruse them yourself...purely for your own personal research purposes, of course."
"What makes you think I'm in need of such second hand materials when it comes to finding the answers that I want to know about such topics?"
"Ah! I have no doubt that a beautiful and talented Princess such as yourself has completed plenty of first hand research when it comes to such matters."
Such completely irreverent banter continued the entire time the two of them...without using any magic, at all...gathered up everyone's abandoned cups and dishes before they took them to the kitchen together after saying their farewells to Canus.
The fairy knight...who had mainly listened quietly throughout the entire unfolding conversation...then headed over to the Gate in order to return to his duties in Medio. Since he had already told the others of his plans earlier, he was free to think about the fact that, although he had enjoyed the obvious feeling of camaraderie between them, he had not understand half of what Hermione and Misyr had been talking about at the end.
Lady Hermione did seem to be enjoying herself, though, the chivalrous knight realized, as he remembered her smiles, and that is all that matters. After all, it just seemed natural that all of the Enchanté Regulars now tried to put her health and happiness first...in all situations.
With that pleasant thought about his female human friend...who just also happened to be a witch...the headless knight continued to stride over the Gate's threshold and into his home world. He found that Medio was in its beautiful sunlit Vernal season...for the moment, anyway. As he stood and admired the scenery as it slowly shifted into its Summer phase, he continued to muse to himself over the chaotic set of events that had just occurred.
Was all of that commotion over Il's situation really necessary, however? After all, is it not true that...even though we do not usually discuss it...all of us non-human Regulars use transformation magic to modify our bodies in that world so that we may appear to be even more similar to the human males there?
With that confusing thought in mind, Canus noticed that, as usual, he had automatically shifted into his armor-clad fairy form where he could indeed register a definite difference in his physical structure and features than before.* For him, though, it just seemed to happen naturally whenever he left or returned to Medio. He did not have any need to plan out the process and end result the way Il did. Nevertheless, Canus did not question the situation further. He just continued to make his way to the Fairy Queen's bower in order to take care of the matters for her that were his sworn duty to complete.
That way he could return to the others at Enchanté as soon as possible.
End Note: *It is CE canon that neither Angels nor Fairies reproduce biologically as humans do and, therefore, have no need for gender. Despite this, they never explain why Il and Canus are obviously male and are always referred to as such. Therefore, my personal headcanon and explanation for this is simply "magic!" They obviously use magic to change their appearances anyway, so I believe that these two, in particular, just take it a step farther.