SPECIAL EPISODE:

"Ranma and Kenma Turn 17?!
The Gluttonous Heartthrob, Rei!"

Before we start the story, we would like to pay tribute to a legend that recently passed away: Akira Toriyama, the legendary mangaka and creator of DragonBall. Without him, I'm not sure we'd even be writing this series. [I know I certainly wouldn't be!]

We wish you lots of luck in the Next World, Toriyama-sensei; now go, run down Snake Way, and teach that dinosaur to ride a ball.

Hikaru kumo tsukinuke fly away (Fly away)

Karada-juu ni hirogaru panorama

Kao wo kerareta chikyuu ga okotte (Okotte)

Kazan wo bakuhatsu saseru

Toketa koori no naka ni

Kyouryuu ga itara tamanori shikomitai ne...!

Cha-La, Head Cha-La!

Nani ga okite mo kibun wa heno-heno kappa

Cha-la head cha-la!

Mune ga pachi-pachi suru hodo

Sawagu ge~nki-dama

Cha-la head cha-la

Atama-karappo no hou ga yume tsumekomeru

Cha-la head cha-la

Egao urutora zetto de

Kyou mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai...

Sparking!

And with our special intro…let the show commence.

UPDATE: I have just been informed that on the day I posted this, it would have been Toriyama's 69th birthday.

Ranma and Kenma were both sleeping in their respective sleeping bags, enjoying some peaceful rest as a silent intruder snuck into the room. The intruder made their way slowly to Ranma before…

"Good morning, Darling!" The voice shouted as they threw the sleeping bag off of Ranma, waking him up.

"Gah! Who-wha?" Ranma shouted as he went on The defensive before he relaxed seeing who woke him up. "Oh, Lum, you startled me."

"Sorry, but your mom wanted me to wake you up." Lum explained herself.

"What for?" yawned Kenma. "What exactly could be so important that it'd warrant something like that?"

"That I can't tell you, yet." the alien girl said with a smile, giving the impression that a pleasant surprise was coming.

Kenma rubbed his eyes and gave a light groan. "...fine," he responded.

"Whatever it is, it better be worth waking up on a saturday for!" Ranma said, letting out a yawn.

Lum and the boys then made their way downstairs. As soon as they reached the living room, they were greeted with a hearty "SURPRISE!" which startled both boys.

"Happy birthday, boys!" Nodoka said as she wrapped her sons in a tight hug.

"Happy birthday, indeed!" Soun joined in.

"Birthday?! We have one of those?!" both brothers asked in bewilderment.

"Don't tell me you've never had a birthday celebration before," Atsuko said before she and Nodoka turned to glare daggers at Genma.

"What?" Genma asked. "I acknowledged it! I gave them presents…but they had to beat me in sparring so as to claim them! I couldn't have them getting soft or falling behind!"

"...you're an idiot," Nodoka said with a very deadpan expression.

"Hmph!" Genma huffed and crossed his arms petulantly. "Well, that's just a matter of opinion."

"Sounds more like a cold hard fact." Atsuko snorted.

Kasumi rolled her eyes. "Either way, your mother and I made a pretty big breakfast for you two," she informed them.

"Well, thanks!" Kenma told her. "And now, esteemed effendi…we feast!"

"Don't mind if I do." Ranma said as he licked his lips. And so, everyone dug into the feast that lay before them.

"Mm-mm! Now this is what I call home cookin!'!" the older Saotome brother declared happily, rubbing his stomach.

"You said it, Ranma!" Akimitsu concurred. "You really outdid yourself, Mrs. Saotome."

"Oh, why thank you, Aki." Nodoka smiled.

"And there's still plenty to go around." Kasumi informed him.

"Plus, we've got plenty of fun times ready for you today~" Nabiki added with a wink to the brothers.

Kenma's eyes lit up and his tail wagged. "Then what're we waiting for, next year?" he grinned. "Let's get this birthday rollin'!"

But, as the birthday celebration began, a lone spaceship streaked through Earth's skies, entering its atmosphere, and landed in the Nerima ward.

Once the spacecraft had landed, curious passers-by started to crowd around, their curiosities piqued.

"Hmmm, maybe this one will get her heart pumping," the pilot of the mysterious aircraft said while still inside.

"What is that?" asked one citizen.

"Looks like some kind of spacecraft," replied another.

"It's definitely not from Earth, I know that much!" a third one said.

Eventually, the shuttle's door opened, revealing a handsome-looking young man with dark green hair, a tiger-striped jumpsuit, and a small pair of horns atop his head. On the side of his face was something that looked like a scouter from Dragon Ball Z.

"...it really is an alien!" exclaimed one man.

"A very handsome alien~" gushed the woman next to him.

As the handsome alien looked among the people staring at him, his scouter detected something. Something that he couldn't possibly resist…

An all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant.

"Food…" he grinned as he got out of the crater and headed toward the signal. As he headed there, he stopped and ate some little kid's ice cream. The kid burst into tears and started beating him over the head with his fists, wailing about how he didn't get to eat his ice cream.

Of course, Rei was barely even fazed by the impacts (not because he was too strong, but because he was too stupid to register that he'd been hit) while he continued on his way towards the buffet restaurant. As he caught a whiff of the food in the restaurant, he began to transform into something that could best be described as a hybrid of a Hippo, Bull, and Tiger.

Oh, my.

MEANWHILE, AT THE BEACH…

Ranma, Kenma and their friends were having one heck of a shindig; even Nodoka and Atsuko had joined them on this little seaside excursion.

"Woo-hoo!" Ranko called as she was already out on the waves, surfing like a professional.

Akimitsu, Lum, Ukyo, Ranma, Akane and Shampoo were all playing a game of volleyball. "Game point! Service!" Aki called as he hit the ball up into the air and over the net.

"Got it!" Shampoo called as she hit it back up with a slide kick, with Lum hitting the ball in mid-air.

Kenma, meanwhile, was relaxing next to Nabiki, who was tanning herself in a beach chair.

On the other hand, Junichi and Ryunosuke were burying Tsubasa in the sand.

"Wonder what we've got planned for lunch?" Kenma spoke up.

"I dunno...but I think Ukyo and Shampoo are gonna start cooking soon." Nabiki answered.

"Aw, yeah!" Kenma beamed. "Just what I was hoping for~"

A little alarm clock went off near the volleyball net right as Shampoo was to kick the ball over to Aki's side, causing her and the ball to stop mid-air

"Time to cook!" She and Ukyo said in unison.

"And in the meantime, I'll go clam diving!" Kenma said as he got up and grabbed a bucket. "Gotta be at least a few of the little buggers out there!"

"Awww! I thought you meant the other kind." Nabiki pouted.

"We got lucky that this beach was deserted," replied Kenma. "There'll be time enough for that sort of clam-digging later."

"Oh goody!" the brunette smiled from ear to ear.

And so, Shampoo and Ukyo finished setting their grilling gear up, then got started with the food.

"Oh, I can't wait to make Ranma-honey his birthday meal," Ukyo squealed in delight.

"Me too, can't wait to make Kenma his special meal," Shampoo gleefully cheered as they both started working and cooking together.

And as they proceeded to cook, the resulting aroma wafted over the beach….and somehow made its way into the nostrils of Rei, who had just crammed a massive pawful of fried shrimp into his mouth.

Even as he swallowed, he caught the scent…and then proceeded to follow it all the way to the beach.

"Food," Rei moaned as he followed the scent towards Ukyo and Shampoo were cooking. "Glorious food…bountiful food…wonderful food…"

It didn't help that he'd looked up song lyrics on his spaceship computer by accident.

"Oh, boy! I can hardly wait!" Kenma stated, anxious to try more of Shampoo's cooking. "This is gonna taste so good~!"

"You said it," responded Ranma. "Just the smell alone is drivin' me wild!"

"Here's a little taste, boys!" Shampoo said with a smile as she tossed two pieces of fried shrimp their way.

Both boys opened their mouths, but before the food could even touch their lips…

WHOOSH!

The food was gone! "Hey, is this some kinda bad joke?" asked Kenma. "We went for food…but there was none to be had!"

"That was weird! Lemme try!" Ukyo said as she tossed an Okonomiyaki sliced in half at the boys.

CHOMP!

CHOMP!

"Another one bites the crust, I see…" commented Ranma. "Lum, what's got you so startled?"

"Him!" she said while pointing at the culprit—a massive, tiger-striped alien bull-creature. "Of all the planets, in all the galaxies…it just HAS to be HIM!"

"Geez, sugar, you're talkin' like you know this clown," said Ukyo.

"Know him, hate him," Lum responded. "Darlings…this is my ex, Rei."

"She used to date that?" Daisuke asked, bewildered.

"If you ask me, she traded up," Hiroshi responded.

Rei soon changed back into his normal, humanoid form. "Lum, I've come to take you back." he said, confidently.

"Well, you can't have me!" Lum said, crossing her arms. "So you came all this way for nothing!"

"Awww! But I wrote a poem for you and everything!" the hybrid protested.

"A poem, huh?" the alien inquired.

As she said that, Rei took out a scroll and unraveled it, surprising everyone around them at how long the poem was.

"Jeez! What language is it written in, Tamaranean?!" sputtered Lum.

Rei cleared his throat and started to read from the scroll. "There is…one thing…that my heart longs for…a life together with you!" he recited.

But Lum wasn't the least bit impressed. "All you're doing is reading what someone else wrote," she responded. "And you didn't even put any heart into it! Reading something like a robot isn't going to win me over!"

Everyone on the beach was at a complete loss for words.

At that, Rei went deeper in the scroll to read what it said aloud. "I…I was so confused. Feeling like I'd just been used. Then you came to me, and loneliness left me."

"Now he's just reading off the lyrics to 'Even the Nights are Better'!" said Tsubasa.

"It figures! You come here, so ready to take me as your own, and you don't even come armed with a single original thought!" Lum glowered. "You don't want a girlfriend, you just want your own personal chef to fill your bottomless pit of a stomach for the rest of your life!"

And right on que, Rei's stomach growls. "Reading all that romantic junk made me hungry again."

"Your honor, I rest my case." the alien girl said with a blank expression that screamed, I can't believe I used to date this moron.

"Sheesh! This guy is hopeless." Aki said to Akane.

"No kidding." Akane agreed with seeing how Rei acted.

"Look, Rei, I've already got someone I love—in fact, I have two someones—so go home and leave me alone!" Lum demanded.

"No, Lum!" the glutton protested once again. "I simply must have you as my steady."

"Well, you're not GETTING me!" Lum snapped. "I don't love you, and I NEVER will!"

"Yeah! So back off, ya damn glutton!" Ranma said while poking Rei's chest.

"And who are you?" asked Rei.

"Me? I'm Ranma Saotome, of—" Ranma began, before Kenma cut him off.

"Of the Dragon School of Martial Arts!" he finished. It sounded a little more impressive than the usual jumbled kerfuffle, right?

"That's right! The Dragon School." Ranma nodded, going along with this. He'd file that Dragon School name away for later use.

"Well, Banma. I challenge you to a duel for—"started Rei.

"First, it's RANMA, jackass!" Ukyo retorted. "Second, how can you claim to love Lum if you don't even care about her feelings?"

"What? Of course I care about her feelings," insisted Rei.

"Is that so?" Ukyo scoffed.

"Rei, when have you ever cared about my feelings?" asked Lum. "Go ahead, name ONE time."

"Well, I gave you that bucket of chicken." Rei stated.

"It was empty EXCEPT for the bones," Lum countered.

"There was a LITTLE meat on each of them!" justified Rei.

"WHADDYOU THINK I AM, YOUR DOG?!" shouted Lum.

"...what's a dog?" asked Rei. Both Ranma and Ukyo facepalmed at that last question.

"That's not important!" Lum declared."The point is, I don't love you!"

"Fine then…" Rei said before he turned towards Ranma. "Hey, you! Random!"

"Ran-MA!"

"Yes, yes, whatever," shrugged Rei. "I refuse to let Lum go without a fight, so I challenge you to a duel!"

"Can't even go one peaceful day without a duel or challenge popping up," Kenma groaned. "Not even on our birthday!"

"It wouldn't be much fun otherwise, anyway," shrugged Ranma. "Alright, fine. Name your challenge, big-mouth!"

Rei crossed his arms. "An eating contest!" he declared.

Silence rang over the group on the beach as they processed what Rei just said. "What?" Ranma asked in shock.

"An eating contest," Rei repeated himself.

"A normal eating contest? Not one that somehow has martial arts thrown into it for some reason?" Aki asked out loud.

"Rei was never much of a fighter; the only battle I've ever seen him in was a food fight," Lum explained.

"So much wasted food…!" Rei sobbed, thinking of all the food he didn't get to eat that day.

"Anyways, if we're getting a challenge, we might as well set it up," said Hiroshi.

"Yep! I'll go get the chairs." Daisuke announced.

AND SO, A LITTLE WHILE LATER…

Both Ranma and Kenma were seated with Rei before a table full of recently prepared foodstuffs, all of which had been laid out in front of them.

"Now THIS is a spread," commented Kenma. "And just in time for lunch, too! Lucky for us we're plenty hungry."

"Just remember to pace yourself, boys." Nodoka instructed. "When it comes to eating challenges, slow and steady always wins the race."

"Also, you don't want to end up fat and lazy like Genma," Atsuko added as she threw that jab Genma's way.

"That was uncalled for," Genma muttered as he pouted at the insult.

"But NOT inaccurate!" Nodoka replied. "After all, you DID callously dump her in order to get with me."

Genma was about to say something back, but then he realized he didn't exactly have a leg to stand on here. So, in a shockingly smart move for him, he kept his mouth shut and backed off.

"Alright, we're not going by a time limit; we're seeing how much you can pack away before you get sick or fall over!" Nabiki explained, while rocking an awesome pair of cutoff jean shorts (think Revy from Black Lagoon) and a tank top. "So make sure you're good and hungry before you chow down!"

"First up, Cat Cafe noodle special!" Shampoo said as she placed a few bowls before the boys and Rei.

"Oh boy! I've been waitin' for this!" Ranma said as he rubbed his hands together and grabbed a pair of chopsticks.

Kenma took his chopsticks and inhaled the aroma deeply, before he sighed in satisfaction, and began slowly tucking in.

Rei, meanwhile, has begun to scarf down the noodles, his eyes watering from how good they tasted. "Mmm…s-so glorious…!" he bawled in between his bites.

Meanwhile, Ranma was just taking his time savoring each bite. "Mmm! These are some good eats, huh Ken?"

"You said it, bro," agreed Kenma as he slurped up another noodle from the bowl. "Plenty fired up for the next course! I say bring it on!"

Rei polished off his three noodle bowls, and looked like he was ready to eat the actual bowls next.

"Next up is Ucchan's seafood Okonomiyaki Special!" exclaimed Tsubasa as he brought forth an entire platter stacked high with the delectable treats. "Get set to get wet, fellas!"

Rei immediately dug in, turning into his beast form as he did so, shoveling pawfuls of okonomiyaki into his gaping maw.

"Either he's getting cocky, or he's got a stomach as big as a garbage bag," Kenma commented as he nibbled at the okonomiyaki, whittling it down.

"What are you nibbling for?!" Genma shouted. "Eat like a man, not a mouse!"

"It's called PACING!" Kenma shot back.

"Ever heard of it, Pop?" Ranma said with his mouth full. As they continued, Rei had finished off his first plateful, and had started eating the plate itself while waiting for his next helping.

CRUNCH!

SMASH!

CLATTER!

"Nice, crunchy texture," he commented on the plate he'd just eaten.

The boys looked at him like he'd flipped the table and started babbling in Aramaic. Then they looked at Lum, bewildered.

The alien girl just gave them a deadpan glance in return, as if saying, Yes, this IS how he usually is.

"What the hell am I even DOING here?" Akane asked. "I haven't gotten to do anything in this chapter, anyway."

"Wait a second, Akane! I know exactly what you can do," Akimitsu said.

The girl's eyes lit up. "Yeah? What is it?" she asked.

"Well, you're gonna have to—" He whispered the rest of it.

As Akane listened, she nodded.

"Right! I'll do my best…but for my OWN sake!" she declared.

"Akane, be reasonable!" Genma begged. "If that intergalactic glutton takes the space girl away, then you'll get to marry Ranma!"

"And if he doesn't, then Lum and Ranma will get married, and her father can shower them with plenty of great rewards," Aki retorted.

"Whaddya mean?" asked Genma.

"Well, Lum is a space princess," explained Aki. "Her old man is probably loaded."

Upon hearing that, Genma immediately changed his tune.

"RANMA, YOU'D BETTER REMEMBER YOUR OLD FATHER WHEN YOU AND LUM TIE THE KNOT!" he shouted, his eyes turning into yen symbols. "I WANT A MOUNTAIN'S WORTH OF SPACE GOLD!"

Akane rolled her eyes, elbow-slammed Genma headfirst into the sand, and went off to start cooking.

Kasumi walked by carrying a score card that read ROUND 3 in huge block letters, while wearing a simple light-blue bikini, but one that Jinn absolutely had hearts in his eyes over seeing her wearing.

"Okay, get ready, guys," advised Aki. "You never know what could come up in this round, so better be prepared."

"I'm ready for anything, Aki. But to tell ya the truth, I'm gettin' a little full." said Ranma as he rubbed his stomach.

"I could eat a little more," said Kenma. "Of course, I'd hafta shift my stomach around a bit, but I've still got room!"

"Well, buckle up," explained Aki. "We've got Shampoo and Akane making the same dish."

Ranma gulped nervously. "Akane? C-C-C-Cooking?!" he sputtered.

Kenma shuddered. "Ruh-roh…!" he exclaimed.

"Hey, come on," said Aki. "I've been helping her improve, you know?"

"Sure," replied Ranma. "It's just that…you can never be too careful."

Shampoo brought out two big plates with chrome lids covering the tops of them.

"This is it, guys," said Aki as he backed off.

"Well…good luck," said Ranma.

"Likewise, big bro," shuddered Kenma.

"Here's the final course." Shampoo announced as she took off the lids. "Cantonese style Steamed Fish."

Surprisingly, both of them looked good enough to eat…but naturally, the boys were still pretty suspicious.

"Which one did Shampoo make…and which did Akane make?" Kenma asked. "The choice we make could either save our stomachs…or destroy them outright."

"I guess our best bet is to try some," said Ranma as he picked up his fork.

Kenma nodded, and reluctantly picked up his own fork.

Of course, Rei didn't waste much time, and proceeded to upend the entire platter into his mouth, bones and all.

"Sheesh! He's like a living garbage disposal!" commented Kenma. "I guess our next bet would be 'let him eat first and see what happens'."

"I think so." His brother agreed.

As Rei chewed and swallowed, he began to twitch…then, his hair began to stand on end…next, his neck ratcheted up and down like it was on a spring…and then it spun around in circles six times! Finally, it turned red…then blue…then purple…then orange…then green…and finally, rainbow mixed with polka-dots!

And that's when the last of it happened. Rei let out a sickening groan as he fell to his knees, clutching his stomach, which was gurgling like mad.

"Well, that answers our question." Ranma said to Kenma as he dug into the good fish.

"Oh, yeah! Itadakimasu!" Kenma added as he joined in the eating.

Akane shrugged. "Well, at least my skills are good for something," she commented, as Rei pulled out a small remote and struggled to press the buttons, while in the throes of agony.

"All done!" Both boys gleefully exclaimed as they held up their plates which now consisted of nothing but bones.

Everyone in the crowd cheered, while Rei pulled himself into his spaceship [which, of course, wouldn't be smelling too nice after a while].

Shortly afterwards, the spaceship lifted into the air, and soared off into the sky.

"Looks like he bit off more than he could chew, guys," commented Daisuke.

A few minutes later, everybody was crowded around Ranma and Kenma, singing "Happy Birthday".

"Time to make a wish, boys," Nodoka urged.

The boys looked at each other and counted to 3 before blowing out the candles, which Atsuko took a picture of.

At that very moment, Nabiki and Shampoo kissed Kenma on both of his cheeks, making him blush.

Ukyo and Lum also kissed Ranma on both of his cheeks.

Here's to you, boys. Happy Birthday!

NEXT TIME ON RANMA:

Let's just say Happosai doesn't appreciate having his panty raids interrupted, least of all by the Saotome Brothers. So he's got a nasty little plan up his sleeve—a moxibustion technique that leaves Ranma as weak as a newborn. And now, every jerk who has a bone to pick with Ranma is looking to get some payback!

Even with Kenma watching his back, will Ranma survive?

Find out in our next episode:

"The Sting of Vengeance?!
A Moxibustion That Saps Power!"

We'll see you there!