I am lost.

Am I lost?

What does it mean to be truly, utterly lost?

I wasn't sure where I was or why I was here. Worse than both of these is the fact I can't recall my name.

Suddenly, a massive ensemble of screams resonated in my ears piercing them like sewing needles through a piece of fabric. With the screams came images. A black inky and foul flood coursed through my mind threatening to force unending madness upon me. I couldn't make sense of any of it. The monsters, demons, the horrified pain wracked faces of men being torn apart and devoured all while begging for mercy. In all the carnage, in this hell I was seeing, witnessing, or maybe am I remembering? I don't and it's too much. I need someone to…

'Guts…'

The pain dulled as this word surfaced through the inky ichor, past the demonic nightmare before me, and over the pool of blood before me. Guts, but not like man's insides. It's a name. Whose name is that? Try as I may, I couldn't remember a face to the name but the name blessed me with a sense of peace and safety. The nightmare was still before me, but I wasn't alone.

Who am I? Who is Guts? Where am I?

I focused on my sense of smell first and foremost. I didn't wish for the first thing I see be monsters so used my other senses first. As the screams dyed just as the men and women they originated from, it was replaced with the bliss of silence. I heard the sound of water droplets falling for above and a hallow wind blowing past my surroundings. I began assuming that I'm in some sort of cave. The cave smells of iron ore with a small water fall and maybe pool over to my right. I'm not sure how I know what iron smells like, but I do.

I hesitated only briefly and opened my eyes feeling overwhelming sensations of pure relief. No demons, monsters, and thankfully no blood to be found. I leaned upwards a bit from whatever I'm waking on. By the feel it's was some bed made of straw with an animal skin on top to use as a base. Slowly, I studied my surroundings from top to bottom looking at every shadow and dark spot for anything that can be designated as a threat. Again to my relief, there's nothing here I can see, hear, smell, or taste in the air. I'm utterly, completely, alone within this cave that isn't abandoned it seems. In front of me is a poorly out together table of course in my opinion. One of the legs was obviously shorter than the other as if something cut off the bottom piece of it and a log used at substitute. Atop the table are plates and utensils. While I'm unsure where they came from it's a clear indicator that I'm not alone neither have I been abandoned here. Some one has taken care of me it feels.

Slowly, I climbed up from the bed with the table being my first destination. Despite how torn or rigged this table was whomever took care of me ensured it was clean on top and there's not sharp utensils I could you. Everything was made of wood being only spoons without a knife in sight. I walked around the cave a bit and discovered different tools from hammers and punches to this large pick axe. I grabbed it and found it quite easy to lift without much effort on my part. I gripped the wooden shaft comfortably in both hands and held it in front of me. It felt… good to hold it like this. Am I a swords man or a miner? It wouldn't take a genius to realized this was a mine and not an ordinary cave. Assuming I was a miner why would my peers keep me here instead of allowing my family or friends to nurse me to health? Why am I waking up in a mine, but not a house with a hot fire?

I gently placed the pickaxe by down against the rocky wall and continued my investigation. I rose my hands up to brownish, or maybe tan, skin. I felt my shoulders and flowed straight down realizing I've a female body. I'm a woman that much is for sure but not thirty years and definitely older than 16. I wonder if I've had my debut. I chuckled at bit at this joke. If I'm waking up in a mine thateans I've no family, especially a noble one that cares about me coming of age. Whoever I was I must've been intelligent with a decent mind since I can make accurate deductions and speculations as I have. I'm not skinny or show signs that I'm malnourished. I'm well fed so someone is definitely taking care of me. A person just doesn't wake up ignorant of their origins and name without having been hurt in the past. This left me to muse on what happened to me that caused this.

Why did I recall demons and blood? Why did this Guts name calm me down but also made me feel something else. I think… I wanna cry, but I can't remember why I should.

I thought to my hands when I picked up that pickaxe and rose them for closer examination. They're rough, calloused, not the hands of a woman that remains in the house or married. My arms are layered with muscles and my legs shapely beneath the silk white dress I found on my body. I'll just say this is my body since no one else can lay claim to it. This isn't the body of a farmer and a farmer's daughter wouldn't be taken care of within a mine. Maybe someone's keeping me hidden because something I did. Maybe I did something so horrible I suffered an injury that made me lose everything. It made me lost within a forest so thick I can see more than a bit in front of me. Perhaps I'm a fighter but women can't be knights if memory serves.

Suddenly I saw things again. It mad my head hurt to the point I felt my knees go weak from the pain. I gripped both sides and dropped to my knees as more images of people's, faces I couldn't recall, and a large castle charged through my thoughts. Midland? Doldrey? The princess… Charlotte. Yes! That's the name of the princess. I knew a princess? Why? Did I upset a royal family?

The pain subsided when I deduced this. Somehow I, maybe more than I, angered powerful people and maybe I'm all that's left on top of a few stragglers. It's ridiculous to think let alone believe, but I'm here for a reason and my body, while it's been taken care of, belongs to someone who can and will defend themselves. I tapped my hips finding them quite firm so perhaps I was acrobatic. I'm not foolish enough to test this in a mine though. Someone will answer my questions that can be answered.

Still, I'm so curious about my appearance. I looked towards the pool nearby I heard before. There's enough light to see within this mine clearly and the waterfall is small. I walked briskly towards the pool and slowly dropped down to both of my knees. I found a small part of the pool that was still enough to get a reflected and took in my appearance. Raven black hair that almost reached my shoulders. It's poorly cut and looked so silly. I smiled a bit and the woman looking back at me mirrored me. My eyes are dark brown and look clean. My lips are thin but puffy, definitely good for kissing. I think the woman in the water is quite good looking. Suddenly something caught my attention when I looked further down my jaw to my collar. Something I found stranger than being a dark-skinned woman waking up in a cave. Some manner of mark etched into my left breast. Actually it looks like a brand and fresh too a soft it was done just moments ago. It looked moments from bleeding out and yet it wasn't despite the skin being broken and parted. These etching are deep so it should be bleeding. It tingles. It doesn't hurt? No it hurts but the pain is more than skin deep. It makes little sense and yet it does.

'Strange,' I thought as I studied this brand with my right hand fingers. Am I to blame for this as well. I feel in the bones of my body that I probably am. Did I lose a bet or anger a gypsy?

Images plagued my mind once more. Images of beings dragged away kicking and screaming. Some of them cried for their families and one for his daughter as he was take. With power unfathomable the vortex took them all adding each to some horrific amalgamation of flesh, bone, and puss. I prayed it couldn't get worse until that thing turned it's attention towards… me? I swirled around the mixture of souls, tormented and tortured for life within an eclipsing sun.

What sin did I commit to be confined to such a hell. I can feel that I resided in the swirl for days, weeks, or maybe years until this day.

More images assaulted my mind. Fairies and a dragon. Things with magical power, getting through the first wave of protection sigils, and more knowledge or nonsense. Magic doesn't exist. None of this can exist! It's impossible!

"Damn it!" I cried begging for it all to stop. The visions did stop but I was left with a revelation. My body is wrong. I can feel that it's healthy and that it's not even close to its true potential. My body is layered in scars from battles to be proud out except a few. I feel.. defiled? Yes, almost as if the devil himself cursed this body. Cursed me.

'I'm dirty… filthy… defiled… cursed.'

As these revelations came the sudden urge to wash my body quaked my soul. I felt disgusted to be in my own skin and don't know why? I'm so confused. I crawled into a ball and struggled to find some manner of warmth to push back the cold. I felt tears fall from my eyes uncertain of why, and yet, I know. I don't understand or remember, but I know… I know… I know…

This mantra cursed my thoughts until it came to an end. Not until a cold, dark sleep took me.