Noah the Snarky Specter: A parody of Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost from SpongeBob SquarePants with Total Drama characters.
Disclaimer for the series: Some (though far from all) chapters will contain moments of nudity or underwear due to the canon SpongeBob episodes' plots and gags, though it won't be anything that wouldn't happen in TD or SpongeBob. Credits to another user on FF for letting us use their idea, and another for their cast idea who wishes to remain anonymous. Some episodes may also take massive strays from canon in order for things to work. Feel free to leave a review, follow, or favorite if you enjoy it!
Noah was currently in his room of the apartment, creating a to-scale replica of himself for an art class, seeming a tad frustrated by the proportions of the eyes. After doing a half-baked job of fixing the eyes, he decided to leave it for the time being and entered his bathroom to take a bath, ignoring the commotion outside. He was used to his neighbors' antics at this rate.
Outside the window, Ella and Owen could be seen playing some sort of weird game with a board of Rat Catch, a rock, and a frisbee. The big guy was seen catching the plastic disc. "Good catch, Owen!" Ella congratulated.
"That means you lost three points!" Owen pointed out, tossing the frisbee back. The princess tried to catch it, but it was flying too high. She jumped up on the rock, reached for it, managed to get a hold of it for a second, but then dropped it onto the game of Rat Catch. It sent the ball for the game and the frisbee flying, right into Noah's window, shattering it. The singer and food lover exchanged worried looks.
"Uh… I think you lost." Owen pointed out.
"L-let's, ah… go grab the frisbee! And apologize to Noah, of course!" The two entered the apartment building and opened Noah's door, which was surprisingly unlocked.
The statue of Noah was knocked over on its side, leaving the frisbee to only be visible over the lip of a table. "Oh, there it is!" Ella exclaimed. "I suppose Noah must not be home then. Oh well! We shall apologize later."
As she pulled it out of the wax, she and the big guy heard a popping sound. "There we go! Let's go, Ella!" Owen encouraged, but Ella leaned over the table after hearing the noise.
"Um, not yet. Something looks like it's wrong with Noah…" The singer frowned with concern. "He seems unconscious…" Touching "his" face, she noticed that "he" felt cold. She shivered.
"Maybe he's sick." Owen guessed, picking the statue up and putting it in the sunlight. "If he's cold, then let's warm him up! Can't really put him in the microwave like you do with food, though…"
Despite Owen's chuckle, Ella still looked worried. "Do you think he'll be alright?"
"Trust me, I'm his best buddy, and nothing helps more than the warmth of the sun!" Owen stood proudly as he continued speaking. "He's probably just got low vitamin D, like he always complains about! Probably forgot to take his stuff again."
Ella then felt something warm and runny around her feet. "Hey, what's that on your shoes?" The food lover asked.
"Hmm?" Oh, well, I only noticed it a moment ago. It's only-" Ella calmly explained before cutting herself off with a scream. "Oh, goodness! Noah! L-let's get you out of the sun then!"
She and Owen did so, panicking and screaming as they tried to repair the melting wax figure. It was a losing battle, as their hands only added more unnecessary warmth to the statue.
"Um, ah, this goes here, and that- Ah!" Ella stammered as she worked. "Yes, this is working!"
"Yeah, yeah, uh-huh!" Owen frantically agreed, before the camera panned out to show a mere pile of skin-colored wax on the ground.
"Owen, I don't think this is working!" Ella just as quickly changed her mind, as tears started to pool up in her eyes. "I-I'm unsure of how to say it, but I believe he's… he's… pushing up daisies!"
She buried her face in and sobbed into her hands, mourning the supposed loss of her friend. The food lover took a moment to understand the metaphor, but then began wailing as well, fruitlessly scooping up handfuls of the wax.
Noah then exited his restroom, covered in some white powder and clothed in a white bathrobe. Ella and Owen looked up at him, screamed again, and hugged each other out of fear.
"Eep!" The princess squeaked. "P-please, stay back! We didn't mean it, honest!"
"What is going on with you two?" The know-it-all asked, placing his hands on his hips in annoyance. From the two cowering people's perspectives, it just made him look even more intimidating.
"Please don't break us like a cracker!" Owen pleaded, practically crushing Ella's bones now.
"What are you talking about?!" The bookworm was flabbergasted at this rate, before noticing the pile of goo on the floor. He gasped. "Look what you've done to me! I've been-"
Uncharacteristically, the princess cut him off. "Please, Mr. Noah's ghost!" Ella and Owen balled their hands as they crawled up to Noah's feet, the songbird looking up at him with red eyes due to how much she'd been crying.
"Spare us your ghostly anger!" The big guy begged.
"W-we'll do everything you'd like, promise!" Ella offered. "Oh, please don't haunt my dreams, ghosty Noah!"
Noah smirked as he heard this offer, putting a hand up to his chin.
"Oh yeah, I'm very upset. Luckily, I might be able to be appeased."
"How so, your ghostliness?"
"Noah's ghost is feeling oddly merciful, considering his recent death." He shot the two another glare, making them cower again.
"You two are gonna be my servants for the rest of my life-" Ella gave him a confused look, making him roll his eyes. "Afterlife. Wait on me hand and foot."
"Anything for you, buddy! We're sorry!" Owen kissed the bookworm's hand like someone would do to their king.
"Uh, right." Noah muttered, going unheard.
"At your service!" Ella added with a salute.
The scene then cut to outside of the apartment, with the princess and food lover carrying Noah on a bed of some sort.
"Is here alright?" The singer questioned as they stopped in the middle of the sunlight.
Even in his supposed afterlife, Noah looked up from a book. The glare from the sun was pointed straight at the literature. "No, too blinding."
The two kept walking until pausing underneath a tree. "Here then?"
Some leftover water fell from the tree. "Nah, too drippy." The know-it-all shook his head. They kept moving until they found a strange painting. It looked like it was underwater, having a brown rock, an Easter Island head, and a pineapple on it.
Noah blinked in annoyance. "Real original. Next!" Huffing and puffing, his servants made it back to their original area.
"Too… exhausted! Gotta.. get… food!" Owen collapsed, making the bed fall. One of the posts landed on the singer's foot. She yelped out an "ouch!"
"Eh, sure, this'll do." The bookworm commented, seeming placated. His stomach then growled, but even though she was still nursing her foot, Ella spoke up.
"Would you like us to get you some snacks?" She offered. "If so, I, ah, can't exactly move at the moment."
"Just leave your shoe behind. Get me some fruit or something."
"But-" Ella started, but then she remembered Noah's ghostly threats. "Okay then! I, ah, have plenty of that in my kitchen!" After struggling for a bit, Ella managed to remove the stuck shoe and ran into the apartment to get the food her ghostly king requested.
She ran off-screen and quickly back on with a bunch of grapes in her hands. "Some grapes, straight from… ah, my kitchen, your spookiness!" She giggled as she dropped them into the know-it-all's mouth.
"And one peeled banana!" She added, dropping it down as well.
Owen had also decided to help out, though he was carrying a huge watermelon. Likewise, he dropped it directly on Noah. "One watermelon, straight from the manure fields!" He stated proudly.
Now on the ground, the bookworm spit out the watermelon, choking. "Stop, you're gonna kill me! Again!" Dusting his robe off, he got back on the bed. "I want something else to eat. Something less dangerous!"
"I'm sorry, master! What would you like?" Ella took the previous opportunity to retrieve her shoe.
"I dunno, cherry pie?" Noah randomly suggested, which the food lover happened to have on him. He handed it to the bookworm. "Wh- where did you find that so fast?!"
"Cherry pie." Owen explained.
Unamused, Noah knocked the cherry pie out of his hands. "Well, go find it again!" He then turned to Ella and handed her the book he had. The princess looked at the bookworm, confused. "My arms are getting tired. Turn the pages for me when I tell you to."
"Okay, what page were you on then?"
After giving the singer his answer, Noah put his hands behind his head and sighed contently. "I think I'm starting to like this."
Soon after, Owen came back with the pie tin… but it was completely empty, aside from one mere morsel. "I found it! I, uh, don't know what happened to it, but I promise, I didn't eat it!"
The know-it-all's face fell flat. "Right. As punishment, go, uh… go clean out my closet or something."
The two re-entered the apartment and entered Noah's closet, which by all counts didn't seem all that dirty. There was one jacket that had fallen off of its hook, but other than that, everything looked completely neat and tidy. Ella simply hung it back up, turned to Owen, and shrugged. "Well, I suppose being inactive does help you stay clean!"
She wasn't trying to be mean, only trying to look on the positive side of things like the princess she was. The big guy noticed that a book fell out of the piece of clothing, though.
"Hey, I think we missed something!" He pointed out, scooping up the item. He flipped through some pages of it. "Wow, I didn't know Noah liked comic books!"
"May I see?" The songbird requested, which the food lover gave into pretty quickly. She read an excerpt from the page out loud. "The origin of… ah…" She shuddered just from reading the lines. "Death himself. Whenever another soul has their… time on Earth finished, then he comes to put them at ease." She stopped reading. "So I suppose we need to help him out then? Perhaps Noah's soul needs to be put to rest before… ah, he can take them!"
"Okay! Let's…" Owen sniffled. "Let's take him to the great beyond!"
The two went back to where Noah was, where he had fallen asleep. They carried him inside and motioned to put him in a coffin, but he woke up just before they could do that. "H-hey, what are you doing?! Let go of me!"
"We're putting your soul to rest!" Ella informed. "But since you're awake, you can get in on your own now!"
"I knew you were delusional, but I'm not getting in that thing! Now get out of here!"
The two left the house willingly, but Noah kept behind them. He then saw Ella writing something on a tombstone in front of a ditch. "Here lies Noah. He was…" Noah knocked the writing utensil out of her hand, making her mouth open wide in shock.
"Oh, goodness! My apologies, Noah! Is the pit not deep enough?" Before the know-it-all could respond, a group of people had arrived and came out of a large black van. "Oh, there are the mourners! My, you're running a bit late! Sorry about that!"
"No, I'm not- Ugh! Go home, everyone!" Everyone surprisingly listened without much of a fight. "Alright, Ella, I have a confession to make."
The singer gasped in joy. "You like your own gender as well?!" She clapped close to her chest. Even if she was pansexual, she was always happy to support others for liking who they like! "Oh, I'm so happy for you!"
"Wh- No, I'm not gay! I'm alive!" Noah sighed in annoyance and put a hand to his head. "Now do me a favor and stop doing me favors!"
"Man, he really had us fooled." Owen commented from nearby.
"I suppose so. But at least we know he's okay now! In a better place than we thought he was."
"Yeah."
The two then entered the apartment themselves, happy that their supposed friend was safe.