Sitting bolt upright in bed, Jessica spit her Minnie Mouse pacifier clear across her room. She was in a state of utter shock. She awoke to find she had been sweating profusely in her sleep and that her sheets were in a deranged mess. Her top sheet was strewn on her floor while the only thing keeping her bottom sheet on her mattress was that she was still on top of it.
"What a nightmare!" Jess thought to herself as she began to collect her thoughts. "Is that's what's to become of me? Am I to become the baby of the house and to allow Elizabeth to dominate over me?"
Jess shuddered at the thought of it all. Diapers were one thing, she supposed to herself, but to surrender her status as an adult was quite another altogether. She decided to put an immediate stop and to re-assert herself as the near-eighteen-year-old she was. Jumping out of bed, she hastily ripped her diaper off, taped it up and threw it in her trashcan. Grabbing her pink bathrobe she headed for the bathroom for a shower.
"I am not a baby. I am not a baby. I am not a baby" Jess repeated to herself as she showered. Much to her surprise, the inner voice that seemed to be encouraging Jess' babyish activities had no comment on the matter, and kept silent. She repeated this phrase to herself as she dried herself off and donned her pink silk bra and matching bikini panties. She was slightly startled as she slid the panties up over her hips. The lack of bulk between her legs was jarring all of a sudden; as if she'd need to learn to walk yet a third time now she was no longer in diapers.
Back in her room, Jess dressed herself in a pair of short, blue denim shorts and a pink tank top.
"I'm not a baby. I'm not a baby. I'm not a baby" She kept repeating to herself as she descended the stairs where she found Elizabeth watching television and having a bowl of cereal.
"Good morning, sis" Elizabeth cheerily greeted her sister. "Sleep well?" she asked.
"Yeah" Jess yawned. "Like the dead. What's for breakfast?"
"I'm having cereal, though I saw oatmeal and I think there might be waffles."
"Not a baby. Not a baby." she thought as she opened the freezer door and pulled out the box of Eggo waffles. Popping two in the toaster, she put the box back in the freezer, grabbed the milk and butter from the refrigerator, set those on the table and headed to the cupboard for a plate, some silverware and a glass.
Suddenly, she felt the urge to pee. Instinctively she just began to relax. Realizing what was about to happen a split second before it was too late, she ran like a bat out of hell to the bathroom, nearly ripping the button off of her jeans as she pulled them down; getting her panties down just as the urine began to flow.
"You are not a baby" Jess chided herself. "and you are not wearing a diaper. Need to remember that.
Feeling her pulse slow and her breathing return to normal, she finished her business and returned to the kitchen.
"You all right, Jess?" Elizabeth asked, not looking up from her cereal.
"Yeah, just didn't realize I needed to use the bathroom until the nick of time, I suppose." Jess replied, busying herself again with making breakfast.
"Happens I guess. Still, better not a minute too soon than a minute too late."
"Yeah…" Jess said aloofly. She finished preparing her breakfast in silence. She carried her plate and glass of milk into the living room and sat on the other end of the couch from Elizabeth. As if someone were playing a cruel joke, whatever Liz had been watching cut to commercial.
"Since the 1950's when Victor Mills sought an easier way to diaper his grandson, Pampers has been revolutionizing the diaper industry. Recently, Pampers introduced their newest line, Pampers Princess diapers for teen girls. Research has sown that many teen girls need or desire the comfort that comes from the soft, think protection only Pampers products provide. But don't just take our word for it. Actress Emma Watson shares her thoughts:
(The camera pans to the left, where Emma is seen laying upon a changing table as a diaper is being brought up between her legs and fastened by her attendant. She sits up.)
"Acting is hard work. A girl simply can't face monstrous trolls and You-know-who without a lot of support. That's what I love about Pampers. Thick, soft, and snug, they provide just the thing I need to help me bounce back day in and day out. Probably the coolest thing about my job is being able to enact Ms. J. K. Rowling's wonderful books, but knowing that Pampers is there to protect me when I wet myself out of fear is a close second…"
"Not a baby. Don't need diapers. Not a baby. Don't need diapers." Jess' repetitions reached such a ferocious pitch within her own head she thought she'd go deaf from the echo." It was an effort just to pry her attention to her plate to eat her breakfast.
"Something wrong, Jess?" Elizabeth inquired, noticing Jessica's distractedness.
"What? Er…" Jess replied, jarred back into reality. "No, I'm fine, just a little tired I guess."
Jess managed to keep her mind reasonably clear long enough to cut her food and begin to eat.
Finishing her breakfast, Jess put the dishes into the dishwasher and headed upstairs to her room. Putting on her sandals, she grabbed her car keys and headed out the door, stopping to tell Elizabeth that she was headed for the mall, in case her parents should ask.
"Whatever you say, sis" Elizabeth said, not looking away from the television.
As if by strange coincidence, the minute Jess closed the door behind her, the show Elizabeth had been watching cut to commercial. This was not just any commercial, it was about to change the lives of everyone in the Anderson family for a long time to come.
An attractive woman in her mid-thirties appeared on the screen. "I'm Susan Valentine, head of the research and development division of Proctor Gamble. Recently, we introduced the newest product in our Pampers line, Pampers Princess diapers for teenage girls. The success of this product is beyond our wildest dreams. In the past month alone, since Princess first appeared on the shelves, over one million packages nationwide have been sold. Many retailers cannot seem to keep them on their shelves. We here at Proctor Gamble, particularly the Pampers division are delighted that Princess has met a need or desire for so many teen girls. To celebrate this success, we are proud to announce a contest. One hundred lucky semi-finalists will be invited to visit the Pampers production center, where they will be able to sample new products as well as see how the whole operation works. They will also have the chance to meet other women like themselves who need or desire the comfort and protection that only Pampers Princess diapers provide. Each semi-finalist will receive complete accommodations free of charge. Rooming will be provided in a nursery-style facility with two girls to a room. During the stay, of course, each girl's diapers will be courtesy of Pampers. Upon the conclusion of the conference, each semi-finalist will receive, in addition to random giveaways during the conference, a two-year supply of Pampers Princess, as well as a "yearbook" featuring photos taken during the event at various of the seminars and activities. One very special young lady, the grand-prize winner, will be crowned the Pampers Princess, and in addition to the gifts that the semi-finalists receive, she will be offered a position on the Pampers testing staff, and receive a lifetime supply of Pampers Princess diapers. No purchase necessary, entry forms are available wherever Pampers Princess products are sold.
"That gives me an idea" Elizabeth thought to herself, a huge grin spreading over her face.
"Mom, can I talk to you about something kinda private??" Elizabeth asked one night after dinner while Jessica was watching TV and Mr. Anderson was out doing some shopping.
"Sure, sweetie, let's go into the study where we shouldn't be disturbed." said Mrs. Anderson, leading the way. "What's on your mind, Liz?" she asked as she closed the door behind her.
"Well, I feel really bad for even discussing this with you but I think you should know. It's about Jess."
"I see," replied Mrs. Anderson in a knowing tone, but she let Elizabeth take the lead.
"About a month ago, I guess, I caught Jess wearing a diaper around the house. We were making lunch one Saturday morning and she bent over to grab something and when her shirt rid up, I caught a glimpse of the waistband. I couldn't believe my eyes, so I asked her to hand me the mustard or something and sure enough, I saw the waistband of a disposable diaper. Then, when she was turned around I was able to make out the outline of her diaper underneath her jeans.
"I didn't say anything at the time, but I'm pretty sure she's been wearing constantly ever since. That is, of course, until the other day. I was sitting around watching TV and she all of a sudden sprinted for the bathroom and, from what I can figure out, nearly had an accident. What made her stop wearing all of a sudden I'm not really sure. But she just sat down to lunch when the show I was watching cut to commercial and, as luck would have it, it was for those new Pampers Princess diapers they came out with for teens. She seemed really distracted. I asked her if she was all right and she said she was still tired or something, but I don't know that I believe that."
"Elizabeth, I think you did the right thing. You are concerned about Jessica's welfare and that is commendable. Your father and I, however, both know that Jess has been wearing diapers for about the past month. She's going through something that she needs to deal with herself when she's ready, we feel. The best we can do for her is to be supportive. That includes you, Elizabeth." replied her mother.
"Ah, yeah…" Elizabeth continued. "I have a confession to make that I'm not exactly proud of, but I believe I did the right thing. I was watching TV about a week ago, around the same time Jess nearly had that accident, and just as she'd gone out to the mall or wherever it was she was going a new Pampers Princess commercial came on advertising a contest with the grand prize to be crowned the Pampers Princess, receive a lifetime supply of diapers, attend a conference where you can see how their company operates and so forth. I kinda entered Jess. I thought you should know in case she gets selected, there's like 100 semi-finalists that get selected and even they get like 2 year supplies of diapers, so I figured it'd be best you knew before Pampers started delivering to the house. I didn't do it to be mean, I just think that she needs to either choose diapers or not or something. I feel like she's gotta choose something and be ok with it."
Mrs. Anderson chuckled. "Sometimes you amaze me, Liz. I really ought to be upset with you, but I suppose if I'm not upset with Jess for her diaper-wearing, I can't be upset with you for wanting her to come to terms with it. From what you have described, I suspect that something happened that made her have second thoughts about the road she was traveling. Perhaps she had a nightmare that have her a jolt and made her remember that she's soon to be eighteen and that some aspects of being eighteen and wearing diapers don't mix. It certainly sounds like she binged on diapers and is now trying to purge herself of the guilt she's feeling.
"I also saw the commercial about the contest. While I didn't go so far as to enter Jess, I do agree it'd be a good experience for her. She obviously has some needs that aren't being met, but if she's unwilling to tell us what they are there's nothing we can do for her.
"However, if she does get selected, I think I will see to it that she goes to this thing. The Roberts have gone on vacation, so she will not be needing her as a babysitter. At the very least I think she needs time away to sort this out. Being with other children around her age with similar desires may help her to realize that there's nothing wrong with her wearing diapers if that's what she wants.
"What if she runs with it and comes back and wants to regress to be a total baby?" Elizabeth asked her mother.
"That would be between Jessica, your father, and me. Personally, I feel that if she chooses to embrace her diapers and give up big girl's panties I'm fine with that, but your father has a right to a say in the matter and so I can't go making a decision. However, I would like to ask you, in that event to be as supportive as you can of your sister. She'll need to know that we accept her for who she is.
"In the meantime, all we can do is wait. Do you know when the drawing is?"
"I think the entry form said that semi-finalists would be notified by the end of the month, which is 2 weeks from tomorrow."
"That gives us two weeks to prepare ourselves in the event Jess is chosen. I want you to know that I am not sure that I think you did the right thing, but I believe you had the right intentions, and so I will support your actions. I will make your father aware of the circumstances and urge him to back me in urging Jess to attend this thing if she is selected."
"But, you need to understand that I suspect that she will not like what you've done, particularly at first. You've had a really solid relationship, much better than I would have expected among siblings. I suspect she'll feel hurt and a bit betrayed at first. Hopefully with time she'll realize that you had her best interests in mind in doing this but at first you need to be ready for the worst. I don't even think she knows that any of us have found her out, which shall make the blow even more painful. Still, we won't know unless she gets selected. We can prepare, but there's no sense in worrying until the time comes."
"You're right, Mom. Thanks for understanding where I was coming from in what I've done. I hope it works out for the best."
"I hope so, too, Liz. I hope so too."
As Mrs. Anderson reached for the doorknob to the study, a thought sprung into Liz's head.
"Mom," she said.
"Yes, dear?" said Mrs. Anderson as she turned the doorknob but had not yet pulled the door open.
"If you need a babysitter, I'm your girl," Elizabeth smiled genuinely.
Mrs. Anderson smiled back. "I'm glad I can count on you, Liz."
Truth be told, Elizabeth was actually excited. Being the younger sibling always made her feel as if she were in Jessica's shadow. Deep down there was a part of her that would like to have a baby around the house, even if the "baby" were a chronological adult. Jess and Liz used to be best friends, and since this whole diaper episode started, Liz felt Jess was hiding something from her. She was unsure whether she thought it was easier or harder now that she knew what it was Jess was hiding. She wanted to reach out to her sister and let her know she was there for her, but she couldn't. Entering her into this contest was the closest she could come to showing her support, and if Jess won, it really wouldn't look like she was supporting her at all. Admittedly, it would seem kind of strange changing her older sister's diapers, but Liz deeply and sincerely cared about her sister, and would rather have this diaper thing out in the open than have Jess try and hide something from the people who cared about her most, especially considering they already knew.
When she went to the store to fill out the contest entry form for Jess, she picked up a brochure explaining what the prizes were and more about the Pampers Princess line. Since she went to the store on the same day the contest was announced, Pampers had a table set up at the local grocery store where there was a company representative there to answer questions. They were also handing out one free diaper to each person who entered the contest. Liz found the whole experience odd.
"Thank you for filling out our entry form. What size sample would you like?" the rep asked.
"Er, sample?" Liz pretending to be Jess, asked.
"Yes, every contest entry comes with one free diaper."
"Oh. I see. Um… I haven't really tried your product out, I'm embarrassed to say…" Liz was even more embarrassed to be having this conversation. "…how do the sizes run?"
"They run the same as your panty size, dear. That's all right. Not everyone who wants to be back in diapers gets to before a chance like this comes along. That's what Pampers Princess and this contest are about"
"Ah…right…well, I wear a size six panty." Liz said nervously.
"Right then, here you are." The rep said as she handed Liz a size six Princess diaper. "Also, here's a pamphlet describing Pampers new line of teen-sized diapers as well as the prizes for the contest. Happy diapering and good luck."
"Right, er, thanks." That had to be the single most embarrassing moment in Liz's entire life. Stashing the diaper and pamphlet in her purse so as not to be seen with it, she nearly ran out of the store. "I almost hope Jess wins this blasted contest just for what I had to go through to get her entered." she thought to herself.
Liz put the diaper in her closet and near forgot about it. She found herself reading the pamphlet about Pampers Princess and the contest nearly everyday until the drawing. She could practically recite it one week before the semi-finalists were announced. She was so excited that you would have thought she had entered herself instead of her sister.
Now, a week before the drawing, Liz looked over the pamphlet yet again. If Jessica were selected as a semi-finalist she would be invited to the "Pampers Nursery" for a two-week stay, during which time she would receive "first-class, nursery-style accommodations, each room complete with two teen-sized cribs, a teen-sized changing table, and, of course, plenty of Pampers Princess diapers."
"While at the Pampers Nursery," Liz read on, "each girl will have the opportunity to attend classes and seminars related to her own particular interests, however both "Pampers Princess and You(r Bottom): The Future of Pampers Products for Teens" and "Dealing with Diapers" will be required of all participants. The first is a seminar on the future of Pampers products, both an opportunity for the members of the market to find out what Pampers will be providing and for them to give feedback and make suggestions about what they want in their products. The second is a course in how to adjust to being a diapergirl, from maintaining family and friendship relations to general diaper do's and don'ts. The rest of the seminars and courses are about various diaper-related topics. Some of these cater to the diaper-loving girl, who just wears diapers, others to teen-baby girls, who wear diapers as a means of regressing and feeling like a baby.
"For each girl Pampers will provide several t-shirts, each with the Pampers Princess logo and various sayings such as 'I'm a Pampers Princess,' 'I need to be Pampered,' and so forth. As aforementioned, Pampers will also provide all the diapers each girl will need during the conference.
"Because Pampers believes that each girl should learn to be proud of who she is, the only attire to be allowed at the conference is one Pampers t-shirt, and Pampers Princess diapers. Each participant is required to abide by this dress code. Further, because each girl is supplied with diapers, bathroom use will be restricted to bathing only.
"Each floor will have ten participants on it, split up into five "nurseries," two girls to a nursery. Two staff babysitters will be assigned to each floor for diaper changing, bathing, bottle feeding, and other needs as may arise…"
Normally, Elizabeth would be having thoughts about what she had done, as she and her sister were best friends. But, she felt that Jess needed to realize that what she was going through was not only ok, that there were other girls out there going through the same thing. She might take time to adjust, but it would be worth it in the end. It actually sounded kind of cool to Elizabeth. Pampers was shelling out and bringing two hundred girls to be treated like real princesses. She really hoped Jessica would win. While, on the one hand, if she lost Liz would never have to hear about what she had done, she would likely never realize what her needs are and be able to try and have them met. A little sibling strife is worth meeting Jess' needs, even if she's not aware of them. Only one more week until the notice should arrive in the mail. Liz all but prayed that Jess would be selected. There were one hundred semi-finalists, surely she had a shot.
It was the day before the contest drawing when Jess finally found out about it. She'd spent all her time and energy trying to block babyish things out of her life. She'd had several very close calls since she started wearing big girl panties exclusively again, including one incident where she actually started tinkling in her shorts, though luckily she'd been in the bathroom and had gotten them down in time before any noticeable damage was done. Still, she was mortified about it. Needless to say the more she tried to push diapers out of her mind the firmer they stuck. Her resistance, firm at first, was becoming more and more shaken as time went by.
Everyone in the house had gone out and Jess was alone watching television when the commercial came on. "Susan Valentine here, head of the research and development division here at Pampers" Jess heard the woman say.
"Great another freakin diaper commercial. Enough already." She sat up to grab for the remote when the scene changed and Jess was entranced. Pictures of the facilities for the contest were flashing across the screen. They showed pictures of the nurseries, complete with two cribs, a changing table, and what looked like floor to celing packages of Pampers Princess diapers.
"Thousands of teenage girls have entered the Pampers Princess sweepstakes" Ms. Valentine continued, "and one hundred lucky girls will be accommodated for two weeks in these facilities, and will have the opportunity to learn more about Pampers' product line while enjoying a babyish lifestyle. Each girl will be provided with all the diapers she needs while at the conference plus a two-year supply of Pampers Princess diapers compliments of the staff here at Pampers. One lucky girl will be chosen as the Pampers Princess from among all the participants, and she will receive a lifetime supply of diapers as well as a position on the Pampers staff where she will be able to help us develop better products to meet our customers' needs. The one-hundred semi-finalists should e receiving their notification via mail tomorrow. To all who have entered, we here at Pampers wish you the best of luck, and hope to see you when the conference begins."
"Wow" thought Jess. "I wish I'd known about that; it looks awesome. I don't know what Mom and Dad would say if two years worth of diapers started arriving at the house, but the whole thing sounds so fun. And that grand prize! I wouldn't have to worry about a job!"
The voice inside her head awoke. "I thought you were an adult who didn't need diapers. I thought diapers were for babies.
She was caught by her own psyche. "Well," she argued, "I don't really know. I want to be a responsible adult, but the diapers felt so good on my behind and they'd have solved the problems of those two near-accidents I had."
"Those weren't accidents, Jess" the voice replied, "that's what happens when you give up the toilet for a month, you start to lose control. It's ok to want to be your mommy's little girl again. It's ok not to want to grow up, but quit the nonsense Jess. If you want to be a baby again that's ok."
"I AM NOT A BABY!" Jess screamed. Suddenly she was glad no one was home to hear her; it would have been quite the embarrassment, particularly considering she was screaming at the voices in her head. She shut the TV off and sat there, indignant. She was not a baby, plain and simple. Matter of fact, she was going to go upstairs right now and throw the rest of her diapers out.
She headed upstairs and into her room. Standing at the closet door, looking down on her diapers, however, she discovered herself to be immobilized. She couldn't throw them out. She picked one up and the smell wafted up through her nose and the soft feel of it in her hand brought on a rush of feeling and excitement.
"I don't want to be a baby!" she whined. "I want to be an adult. I'm almost eighteen. I want to be my sister's role model and I want to be an adult and I want to go off to college and get a job and be an adult."
"Perhaps," the voice argued, "the real mature thing in this situation is to know you're still your mommy's baby."
"Shut up!"
The sun pried its way through the clouds to reveal a warm Saturday morning. Yawning, Elizabeth stretched and opened her eyes. Realizing what day it was, she nearly jumped out of bed and ran for the shower. After getting dressed, the big wait officially began.
"You ok, sis?" Jess asked, noticing her sister's overflowing energy.
"Yeah I'm just full of energy today for some reason." Liz replied.
"Ah. I see."
Liz felt like she had ADD for the first time in her life. She couldn't sit still, and she couldn't keep her attention fixed on anything for longer than five minutes.
Three hours later, the mail still hadn't come. She sat, feeling drained and dejected in front of the TV. Her mind was suddenly clouded with doubts that Jessica would even become a semi-finalist in the contest. Then, it occurred to her that if she were to win, it would mean quite the rift between herself and Jess for the first time in her life. Better to prepare herself in the case of that, than listen for the mail.
She wondered what Jess' reaction would be. She suspected it wouldn't be pretty. She hoped she would be able to make Jess see that she had the best of intentions. All she could do now was wait and hope for the best.
As luck would have it, just as Liz was about to give up hope of the mail ever coming, she heard the familiar sound of the mailbox being opened and closed again. Like lightning, she was up and at the front door, opening it and grabbing the mail.
"Mom, Dad, Mom, Dad, Dad, Dad, Mom," she thought as she sorted through the envelopes. Of course it was the last one in the pile. It was a thick pink envelope addressed to Ms. Jessica Anderson. The return address was the pink Pampers logo that everyone was all too familiar with.
Stuffing the envelope into her back pocket, Liz put the mail on the table in the living room and made to head upstairs ever so nonchalantly.
"Anything exciting?" Jess asked, peering away from the television.
"No, I got a thing about some college though, or it looks like that anyway." Liz replied. Her heart was pounding and she tried very hard not to betray her excitement to her sister. She forced herself to walk slowly back up to her room. Shutting the door behind her, she grabbed the envelope from her back pocket and flung herself onto her bed.
"Dear Ms. Jessica Anderson" Elizabeth read, unfolding the first page of the letter. "Thank you for entering our Pampers Princess Sweepstakes. We are pleased to announce that you have been selected as one of the one hundred semi-finalists. You will find all the necessary information within this packet. We look forward to seeing you in two weeks at the start of this conference. Sincerely, Susan Valentine"
Looking through the rest of the packet, Elizabeth noted descriptions of the various activities, courses and panels to be conducted at the conference. There was also a description of the accommodations and benefits the participants would receive. There was a diaper size request form, both for conference use and for the two years' free diapers. Also on that form was a space for t-shirt size so that each baby could be provided with the right size uniform shirts. Just then, there was a knock at Liz's door. Shoving the paperwork underneath her pillow, Liz opened the door to find her mother standing there. She let her mother pass into the room and shut the door behind her.
"Well?" Mrs. Anderson asked conspiratorially.
"She's in." Elizabeth replied. She blushed at the thought that she was responsible for all this. She really believed she did the right thing, though. Here's the information." Liz said as she handed her mother the information packet. "Any idea how you're going to break the news to her?"
"I've got an idea. I'm not sure how well it's going to work. I told your father about the whole thing and, while he wasn't too happy with you at first, I was able to persuade him that you had Jess' best interests at heart and that this type of experience, should she be selected, might be able to help her sort out her feelings about diapers and so forth, and he's behind me 100%. The three of us will have to talk about the way things will be when she gets back as soon as she's gone. I trust I can still count on you to be the big sister, Elizabeth?"
"Of course, Mom. I kinda feel I owe it to Jess after what I've done."
"Perhaps. Let's just hope when she gets back she won't take it the wrong way."
That night, as the dishes were being cleared away and a delicious caramel apple pie being laid out for dessert, Mrs. Anderson took the envelope from her back pocket and took a deep breath.
"Jessica, honey, this came for you in the mail today." Mrs. Anderson said, handing Jessica the envelope.
"Why didn't Liz hand it to me when she took the mail in, I was sitting right there?" Jess inquired as she took the envelope,
"Yes, well…" Liz started.
"There's no need, Elizabeth." Mrs. Anderson chided. Mr. Anderson said nothing during this whole proceeding.
A look of utter shock grew over Jessica's face as she opened the envelope and examined the contents.
"What the hell is this? How did this all happen?"
"Well, Jess," Elizabeth began, stammering at first, but then mastering her voice, "I kind of entered you in that contest. That letter came today, announcing that you've been chosen as a semi-finalist."
"And WHY did you enter me?" Jessica demanded. "Do you think I'm some kind of baby or something?"
"Jess," Elizabeth began nerouvsly, "a few weeks back we were around the house watching TV. As we were making lunch, I caught a glimpse of a white plastic waistband when you bent over to grab something from the fridge. I asked you to hand me the mustard, not believing my eyes, and, sure enough, I saw the waistband of your diaper. When you stood up I could make out the outline of your diaper beneath your jeans. When I found out about this contest I thought it would be good for you. You're my sister and you're still my best friend and I love you. I did this because I want what's best for you."
"Well surely then you would have noticed that I stopped wearing diapers about two weeks ago." Jess retorted indignantly.
"Yes, Jess, I did notice. I also noticed the other day when you nearly wet your pants because you weren't wearing a diaper and didn't realize you needed to pee until it was almost too late."
Jess had to concede that point. It was true that she nearly wet her pants. This didn't forgive her sister's actions, however. Suddenly she raged at her sister.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU DID," Jess screamed. Her parents and Elizabeth were taken aback. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY LIFE. AND HERE YOU GO ENTERING ME INTO THIS CONTEST LIKE I'M SOME SORT OF BABY. WE'LL I'M NOT GOING! I'M NOT GOING AND I DON'T WEAR DIAPERS AND I'M NOT A GODDAMNED BABY. SO STAY OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!"
"Your father and I have both decided" Mrs. Anderson began, "that you will be going to this conference, sweetie. It will be good for you. We're not mad at you. We want to support you. And the reason your sister doesn't know what's going on in your life is the same reason that your father and I don't. You won't tell us. We know that you snuck diapers from the Roberts' while you were babysitting Amanda, and you were a little careless about hiding the fact that you were wearing the diapers you had bought for yourself. Elizabeth is not the only one to have caught you. But you're missing the point. This is not a punishment. We're trying to help you to figure out what you want and what you need. If you go to this conference and come back and decide you want to be back in diapers, then that's fine by us. Your father, sister and I will do what we can to accommodate you. If you want to be babied, we'll see what we can Do; if it's just diapers that's fine as well. But you need to be honest, first and foremost with yourself but also with your family. We love you, diapers or not."
At this point, Jessica burst into tears. "I'm not a baby. I'm not a baby. I'm not a baby," she sobbed.
In spite of her words, urine was flooding into her shorts. She only noticed it as she was catching her breath and beginning to calm down. Elizabeth, Mr. Anderson and Mrs. Anderson all caught each other's eyes and waited for Jess to recognize what she was doing.
Sure enough, no sooner had Jess' breath returned to normal and her heart rate slowed a little than she realized that she had indeed wet her pants just like the baby she said she wasn't. So horrifically ashamed was she that she ran up stairs to her room, slammed the door behind her and flung herself on her bed, not even bothering to put on something dry, crying, utterly ashamed of herself.
"I'm proud of you, Liz," Mr. Anderson said. "It took a lot of courage to do what you did. I just hope, for Jess' sake, that the desired effect is achieved."
"I believe we all do, Dad." Liz remarked.
Upstairs, Jess was an utter disaster. Her emotions were at war with each other. She was horrified and angry with Elizabeth for entering her into that contest, yet she knew she wanted to go. She should be happy that her parents want her to go. She didn't think they'd understand if she had been able to enter the contest normally. Here was the opportunity she should be longing for, but it had awful timing and even worse delivery. Deep down she knew that her sister and parents wanted what was best for her and that Liz did what she thought would work out best in the end, but it was just the way it happened. Here she thought no one know about what had transpired since she snuck those first couple diapers at the Roberts, and it turns out that everyone knew. It was as if the bigger secret was that Jess' secret wasn't secret.
As if that weren't bad enough just as she finished asserting that she wasn't a baby she realized she was wetting her pants. That was real mature of her, wetting her pants like a three year old. Jess just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Yes, crawl. That would be awful fitting for a big baby who needs to be put back in diapers where she belongs.
In spite of her incessant sobbing, Jess heard a soft knock at the door. "Go away! I don't want to talk to anyone!"
"Jess, it's your mother."
"I said I don't want to talk to anyone!"
"Jess, I love you. You know what you do when you love someone, Jess? You stand by them through thick and thin. If you think I'm going anywhere until you let me in to talk to you, you've got another thing coming."
Jess gave pause, touched by what her mother had just told her. Now, of all times, she needed to know her family loved her. But like the awful timing and delivery of every diaper lover's and teen baby's greatest fantasy, Jess wished this all could have happened differently. Slowly she got up from her bed where she'd been laying and walked to the door.
"I love you, Jess." Mrs. Anderson said softly.
A smile spread across Jess' tear-stained face. "I love you too, Mommy" she said as she opened the door wider for her mother to pass through.
"Jess, why are you still wearing those wet shorts? Please take them off and go take a shower. I see you were laying on your bed in them. Tell you what, you go take a shower. I'll throw your wet bedding and clothing into the wash, remake your bed and I'll wait here so we can have our chat."
"Ok, Mom. Can you, uh, leave so I can take off these clothes?" Jess asked awkwardly.
"Jess, I would, but it wouldn't be the first time I saw you naked, and if you decide to take up diapers again, it may not be the last."
Sighing, she unbuttoned her shorts and let them and her wet panties fall to the floor, grabbing her bathrobe and flinging it around her. She caught her mother's eye on her way to the shower. Mrs. Anderson was smiling, and Jess found she couldn't help but smile too.
Jess had to admit it was good to get out of those wet clothes. She was feeling a little better after that brief talk with her mother, though she did not know what would be in the talk to come. She suspected her mother wanted her to go to this conference. Jess did want to go but she felt as if she had to give up her adult identity to embrace her inner baby and she wasn't sure she wanted to do that. She felt incredibly insecure and unsure of which way to turn. But, she supposed, that was the purpose of this whole mess. To top it off, she had screamed at her sister. She screamed at her own best friend whom she'd had since she could remember. Closer than anyone she'd met at school. Jess felt truly awful for that. She would have to come up with a way to make it up to Liz.
Mrs. Anderson, meanwhile, stripped Jess' bed and threw her sheets and her wet clothing into the washroom. On the way down she passed Liz.
"How is Jess?" Liz asked tentatively.
"Well, she seems a little better, though she's got a long way to go. I haven't had my actual talk with her yet, but I've convinced her to go shower and I'm changing her bedclothes and throwing her wet stuff in the laundry. Once she's done showering, we'll have our talk. I'm going to try and get her to apologize to you."
"That's not necessary, Mom. I understand why she did what she did. She has a right to feel upset, she probably thinks that I betrayed a trust she hadn't even put in me. I'd feel the same way if I were her."
"That may be, however feelings do not always excuse actions, and I would like her to apologize to you. You two always got along so well. If she goes through with this whole conference thing and decides she wants to embrace diapers and/or a babyish lifestyle, she's going to need you there for her more than ever. Amends need to be made between you."
'I understand Mom. Good luck."
"Thanks. I'm hoping things'll go well."
Returning from the washroom, Mrs. Anderson remade her bed. She was sitting on it when Jess returned from the shower. Jess headed for her dresser drawer to pick out some clothing.
"Jess," Mrs. Anderson said, "I'd like to talk to you before you get dressed. Please come sit here on the bed with me."
"Ok, Mom" Jess said as she walked to her bed and took a seat beside her mother.
"Now, Jess, what did I tell you after I knocked on your door?" her mother asked.
"You told me that you loved me and that you would stand by me through thick and thin." Jess recalled.
Mrs. Anderson put her arm around Jessica's waist and kissed her forehead. "I hope you know nothing has changed between then and now. And nothing is going to change that, ever. I would like to talk about these diapers of yours."
Jessica sighed. She recounted to her mother how the whole thing began. She told her mother about sneaking diapers from the Roberts and the dreams she was having and how wonderful it felt to feel like a baby again with not a care in the world. She told her how she first saw the Pampers Princess commercials on TV and how she went out and bought a case of them. She recounted how she started wearing them constantly and how, one night she had even messed herself while watching Amanda. Once she got started unraveling this tale it seemed to tell itself. Having found a sympathetic ear, Jessica felt the burden of the whole thing lifting from her the further into her story she got.
Finally she got to the part about the nightmare she had. Mrs. Anderson began to understand what was going on and why things had unfolded the way they did.
"I can see how the idea of being spanked by your younger sister for not behaving during a diaper change can be quite traumatic" Mrs. Anderson said sympathetically. "Still, as evidenced by your recent wettings it seems not to have been the wisest course of action, though I do certainly understand why you chose it."
"I'm glad you have finally been honest with me, Jessica. I want to talk now about what is going to happen from here on out, but I want you first to know that you are my firstborn child. No one can take that status away from you. Whether you choose to go the "adult" route and wear panties all the time and never think about diapers or baby things again or whether you say you want to regress for a little while before the responsibilities of adulthood overtake you, it doesn't change the fact that you're my firstborn child. Even if Elizabeth does end up babysitting you and changing your diapers and feeding you bottles and baby food and playing baby games with you, you're still my firstborn, and I still love you very, very much.
"Now, you've been entered into this contest and selected as a semi-finalist" Mrs. Anderson said as she pulled the information packet out of her pocket. "Your family wants you to go. You can choose to be a baby or an adult after you've gone and had the experience. You've been playing baby on the sly, it's about time you were able to indulge this fantasy of yours and find out how it really feels without any pressures from home. You'll be able to be around people with similar feelings and desires and your father and I both agree that this will be healthy for you. You know what being an adult is like. Go and find out what it's like to be a baby again! You seem interested; don't be afraid of it. When the conference is over then you can make an informed choice. You can give up diapers if that's what you want with full knowledge of what it would have been like. Besides, I was reading in the fine print of the pamphlet that says in addition to the position on the research and development staff, if you win first prize you get to model for commercials and package designs. That does sound kind of cool. No matter what happens, Jess, your father, Elizabeth, and I all love you very much, and we want you to be happy. Honestly, Jess, I would much rather have you walking around the house in panties one minute and crawling in diapers the next than wanting something and suppressing it. So please, go to this conference and enjoy yourself. Enjoy the opportunity to relax, to regress to an age where you hadn't a care in the world. The opportunity doesn't come around every day. When it knocks you need to open the door.
"Mommy," Jess said, her eyes welling up with fresh tears, "I don't even know what to say. I can't tell you what a relief it is to not have to hide from everyone. I thought I was good at it and it was such a blow when I found out you all knew and I flipped out at Liz and I feel so bad about it. Thank you so much for all you've done and are doing for me. I can't tell you how grateful I am."
"That's my girl" cooed Mrs. Anderson. "Now, I want you to do two things for me, and then I want you to go to bed."
"Mommy, I'll do anything you want me to." Jessica said, grateful that her mother accepted her.
"I want you to let me get you dressed with no fuss, and then I want you to go apologize to your sister. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Mommy."
"Good girl, now please take your robe off and lay down here on the bed."
Mrs. Anderson got up from the bed so that Jess could lay down. She walked over to the closet and pulled out Jess' baby powder and one of her diapers. From her dresser drawer she picked out a nice pink top that she knew wouldn't cover Jess' midriff.
Mrs. Anderson laid the shirt and the baby powder aside and unfolded the disposable diaper. Jess heard the crinkling and braced herself for what was to come. She was half enthralled and half mortified at the idea that she was nearly eighteen years old and about to be diapered by her own mother. She closed her eyes, breathed deeply and relaxed.
Mrs. Anderson put her hand on Jess' thigh and rubbed it. "I need you to lift your legs up for me sweetie" she said.
Obediently, Jess lifted her legs and Mrs. Anderson slid the diaper underneath Jess' bottom. Grabbing the bottle of baby powder, she sprinkled it over Jess body and rubbed it in.
"That's Mommy's girl. You can lower your legs now." Jess lowered her legs while still entranced by the whole experience. She felt her mother pull the diaper up between her legs and fasten it quite snugly. "There you go, baby girl." Mrs. Anderson said, patting Jess' newly diapered bottom. "Sit up for Mommy so I can put this top on you." Jess sat up and opened her eyes. She lifted her arms as Mrs Anderson slid her top over her head and into place.
"Go look at yourself fin the mirror, baby girl."
Jess waddled over to the mirror and admired herself. She couldn't believe all that had happened to her in the past few hours.
"I love you, Mommy." She cooed in babytalk.
"I love you too, Jessie."
Her mother walked over to her and gave her a big hug. "Now, sweetie, I want you to go to apologize to your sister."
In all the rapture of being diapered by her mother, Jess forgot that she would have to apologize to Liz. She knew she owed it to her, but her attention was suddenly awakened to her state of dress.
"You mean like this?!?" Jess asked her mother.
"Yes, Jessica, I want you to go to your sister's room wearing that top and that diaper and I want you to apologize to her. She'll be seeing plenty of you in diapers if you decide to embrace them, there's no reason not to start now."
Mrs. Anderson started walking towards the door so as to force Jessica out of the room. "I will be in here when you get back to tuck you in and say good night, sweetie. Off you go!" With that, she swatted Jessica's diapered behind out the door.
Once out in the hall, Jess was conscious of every crinkle her diaper made. "Guess I better get used to this" she thought and swallowed her pride and headed for her Elizabeth's room.
Lying on her bed in her room across the hall, Elizabeth was also conscious of every crinkle Jess' diaper made, and smiled to herself when Jess stopped outside her door and knocked.
"Lizzy?" a timid voice came. Jess had never called her "Lizzy" before.
"It's open Jessie, come on in." she replied from within.
Jess took a deep breath, opened the door and walked into her sister's room. She found Elizabeth sitting on her bed as if awaiting her.
"Come over here and sit with me, sis." Elizabeth beckoned.
Jess closed the door behind her and toddled towards Elizabeth's bed, where she took a seat across from her. Elizabeth took the sight of her in. There was her older sister, her best friend and someone she'd always looked up to, wearing a shirt that didn't cover her belly button and a thick, disposable diaper. It awakened a sense of maternity within her. She thought Jess incredibly cute.
"I want to apologize for the way I acted towards you tonight, Lizzy. I was completely wrong. It's just I didn't know anyone else knew about my secret and, upon finding out, I was afraid that you would all think less of me for it. I was supposed to be the older sister. I'm supposed to be going off to college. And I couldn't, and really still can't for that matter, reconcile those ideas with the image you see here, which might actually be the real me. I was afraid. I'm still a little afraid, and I flipped out in defense, perhaps of someone I'm not. I knew that you looked up to me and I was afraid of what would happen if you found out at the person you looked up to for so long was just a big baby."
Jess heaved a sigh. "Come here" Elizabeth said soothingly and Jess was inclined to obey. She found her way into her sister's arms. She found her sister's embrace to be much like her mother's, soothing and protective. "You're my big sister, Jess, and I love you." Liz continued. "but you've got the whole maturity thing all wrong. You're confusing maturity with blindness and strength with stupidity. Maturity is having the wisdom to recognize that you're not quite ready for the real world out there and that part of you still longs for your mommy's embrace. Maturity is the acceptance of the fact that when faced with the unknown of the real world you might well crap your pants and it might be better than not to be wearing a diaper. Strength isn't about being better than everyone else. It's not about being faster or being able to lift more. Strength comes from knowing that, no matter what, there's someone in your corner that you can count on to catch you when you fall and help you pick up the pieces and start over. Wearing diapers or being a baby doesn't make you less mature or less of an adult. It makes you more of one, because you know what you're about. You know what you can do and what you can't do and you know that, like everyone else in the world, you have fears and needs. So if you think for a minute that I will respect you less, you're out of your cotton-pickin mind. You're my big sister, and even if I end up changing your diapers and baby-sitting you, you're still my big sister, and you'll always be my best friend. I love you, Jess."
There were tears in her eyes as Elizabeth finished. She surprised herself with the force of what she said. She took her sister in her arms and held her. At last, after what seemed an eternity, Liz loosened the embrace and Jess got up to go to bed.
"I can't tell you what all this means to me, Liz. I'll never be able to thank you enough."
"Well it's a good thing you don't need to" Liz said, and all of a sudden swatted Jess' diapered behind. Jess stared, her mouth hanging open. Catching Liz's eye, they both started laughing.
"Well I need to head to bed. Mom's been waiting for me I think."
"G'night Jessie."
"G'night Lizzy."
Toddling back to her room, Jess found her mother sitting on her bed, although not where she'd been. She was holding something Jess couldn't discern in her hand.
"I trust that went well?" Mrs. Anderson inquired.
"Much better than I expected," Jess smiled.
"Good. Now, baby girl, it's time for bed. Come here and let me tuck you in.
Jess toddled over to her bed. Her mother lifted the sole sheet that was on it, it being the middle of summer, and laid it back down on top of her.
"I found this on your floor," Mrs. Anderson said, brandishing Jess' Minnie Mouse pacifier. "I washed it for you; I figured you might like it." she said as she popped it into Jess's mouth. Jess smiled.
"Good night, baby girl," Mrs. Anderson said a she turned out the light and headed for the door.
"I love you, Mommy." Jess said sleepily.
A bright, yellow sun rose early on that clear July morning. Jessica Anderson was lying in her bed, deep in pleasant dream when the sun shone down through her bedroom window and the birds began to call. Opening her eyes, she yawned as she glanced over at her alarm clock, which read five-thirty a.m., still one hour to go until she needed to get up and shower before the trip into Cincinnati where her two weeks at Pampers would begin. Elizabeth and both of her parents would be making the trip to see her off. They were all very proud of her, and wanted to wish her the best. Turning over to fall back asleep, Jess heard the crinkle of her diaper. Smiling, she nodded off and began to dream.
It hardly seemed as if fifteen minutes had passed when the buzzing of her alarm broke in upon her dreaming. Jessica sat up in bed, reached over to the night table and shut her alarm off. Stretching, Jessica yawned again. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she got out of bed and headed for the shower, but not before she completely flooded her dry diaper, so as not to let it go to waste.
Having showered, Jess was surprised to see her mother sitting on her bed, waiting for her upon her return. Seeing the fresh diaper she was holding, Jess got the idea. She took off her robe and hung it up in her closet. Lying down upon her bed, Jess awaited her diapering.
"I feel really strange saying this," Mrs. Anderson said as she unfolded the diaper and slid it underneath Jess' behind, "but I think I'll actually miss changing you while you're gone over the next two weeks, Jessie. I feel like having you back in diapers has brought us closer than we've been since the last time you were in diapers." Mrs. Anderson rubbed the powder in with more tenderness than Jess was used to and it caused her to purr after a fashion. "I really hope," Mrs. Anderson continued, "that if you decide to give diapers up after this conference, that we won't lose this renewed closeness. I didn't realize this until recently, but I now know I'm not ready to lose my baby girl with the idea of you going off to college and being an adult. I also realize that giving that up may be inevitable s you move into another stage in your life. Having you back in diapers over the past week has made me realize that even if you decide to give them up, I want never to lose this closeness we've shared."
"I wouldn't worry too much about that, Mommy." Jess said sincerely, though she did not elaborate as to exactly what she was referring. Mrs. Anderson smiled. In her mind, changing diapers was a small price to pay to have her baby girl back. Fastening the last couple of tapes on Jess' diaper, Mrs. Anderson patted Jess' bottom, as had become her habit of late, and gave her baby girl a big hug
"What would you like for breakfast, sweetie?" Mrs. Anderson asked.
"May I please have raisins and spice oatmeal and some milk, Mommy?" Jessica said sweetly.
"Of course you may sweetheart. I'll put the water on for your oatmeal and pour your milk. You come down when you're ready."
"Thank you, Mommy."
Mrs. Anderson headed downstairs and into the kitchen where she put some water on the stove for Jess' oatmeal. Rummaging around for a whisk she'd been looking for, she came across a baby bottle hidden in the recesses of the drawers, probably from when Liz was still on the bottle. "Couldn't hurt" she thought to herself as she gave it a good washing, dried it, and set it aside for Jess' milk.
Just as Jess opened the door to her room to head downstairs, Elizabeth emerged from her own room.
"Morning, Jessica, sleep well?" Elizabeth asked cheerily.
"Like a baby." Jess giggled at the thought of it.
Elizabeth chuckled. "So, you ready for your big day?"
"I'm nervous. I don't know why but I'm just nervous about the whole thing, even though I really want to go; it looked really awesome on TV."
"Come here you big baby." Liz laughed playfully.
Jessica blushed as she was enveloped in her sister's embrace. "You're going to be just fine, and you'll make lots of friends and have an awesome time. I bet by the end of today you'll have forgotten why you were apprehensive. And, who knows, maybe you'll win the grand prize! Even I have to admit that sounds kind of cool. And you'd come home and I'd call you 'Your Pamperedness' or something"
At this, Jess had to laugh. She squeezed Liz tight. "You're the best sister a big baby could ask for" she said, kissing her on the cheek.
"I learned it from you, Jess." Liz kissed Jessica on the forehead and patted her diapered behind. "Let's go get breakfast."
"Morning, pumpkin," Mr. Anderson said, "all ready for your big day?"
"Yes, Daddy." Jess cooed as she headed for the table. She could tell her place right away, not by the piping hot bowl of raisins and spice oatmeal, but rather by the baby bottle full of milk set next to it. Jess just rolled her eyes and giggled. "Thank you, Mommy." she said.
"You're welcome, sweetheart."
Searching through the basement, Mrs. Anderson came across the diaper bag she had used for both Jessica and Elizabeth when they were younger. It was white with pink stripes and pictures of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger and Eyore on it. Shaking the dust from it, she brought it upstairs to pack it for the car trip.
"I'm going to pack Jessie's diaper bag," she told the girls as she headed upstairs towards Jessie's room, "why don't you girls make sure you're ready to leave by the time I'm done. I won't be more than ten minutes."
Jess giggled at the idea that she needed a diaper bag everywhere she went, though she realized a three-hour car trip in a wet diaper would be no fun at all, especially if she leaked, an experience which, fortunately, she had not yet had.
"Come on, baby girl," Elizabeth said, taking Jessie by the hand and leading her outside. "Let's go wait in the car with Daddy while Mommy packs up your diaper bag."
Jessie giggled again at the idea of her diaper bag and followed her sister outside. So wrapped up was she in what was going on, she hadn't time to think about the fact that she was outside in a t-shirt that didn't even cover her belly button and a nice, thick, disposable diaper. She must have been a sight to be seen.
"There's my baby girl. All ready for you big trip pumpkin?" Mr. Anderson asked as she wrapped his arms around Jessie and planted a kiss on her cheek.
"Yes, Daddy, I think so." Jess replied.
Elizabeth, excited at the prospect of having a new baby in the house, helped Jessica into the car and buckled her seatbelt for her, then kissed her on the forehead.
"Jeez, Liz, I'm not a complete baby." she chided.
"I know, sis, you're so just darned cute!!!"
Jessica just shook her head. "Guess this is the price I pay." she thought to herself.
Just then, Mrs. Anderson came out to the car carrying Jess' newly stocked diaper bag. Placing it in the back seat between the two girls, she buckled her seatbelt. "All ready!" she said excitedly, as if they were leaving for a family vacation.
"Are you all ready, Jessie?" Mr. Anderson asked.
"Yes, Daddy. I'm all set." Jessie said smiling. With that, the embarked on the three-hour trip from their house to the Pampers facilities in Cincinnati.
'Oh Jessie, baby." Mrs. Anderson interjected about twenty minutes into the trip, handing Jessie a stack of papers and a pen. "there's some preliminary paperwork you need to fill out before you get there."
"Can I look at the brochure again while Jessie's filling all that out?" Elizabeth asked suddenly.
"Thinking of entering next year, Liz?" her father asked teasingly.