Pack Mentality

by seadavid41

The battle against the Brotherhood changed every Teen Titan, especially Beast Boy. Now, as an old enemy starts making moves again, Beast Boy will need to find his place in the world. Meanwhile, the Titans will need to place their faith in each other more so than ever before. "Humans by nature are pack animals, we take comfort in those around us." BBrae

26. Embers

Hey yo, author here! Hope everyone had a good new year! Just wanted to get an opinion on something. This is gonna be the longest chapter so far, by a good bit, and I was wondering, would people prefer if I broke these up into smaller chapters? Or do people like the longer ones? I probably could have broken this up into two but I had been straying towards longer chapters for the last while so kept it this way. But yea, if people think shorter would be better, I'll drop it back. Won't be cutting things out, just I'll bring chapters back to probably 7k-8k lengths. Please let me know what you think in the reviews or DM's! Also, as always, thank you so much for the review/follows/favorites. FF still hasn't managed to fix the read count numbers, so it's still the only way I know people are engaging. With that being said, hope you enjoy the new chapter!

Much love as always - Seadavid41

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Ch. 26 Embers

Raven had always hated the Med Bay. Even though she knew it was just another room in the tower, part of her felt like the place was detached from reality. The sterile environment just seemed to amplify the weight of any situation that graced it's floors. The only soundtrack on offer was the humming and beeping of whatever machines were required to fix the problem with the latest patient. Raven had always hated the Med Bay…anytime she was here, it meant either herself or someone she cared about was hurt…and ironically it was for that reason that she simply could not leave.

Raven sat in one of the many chairs that had been dragged across the Med Bay and placed around the one occupied bed. She sat on the chair nearest to the top, a full cup of tea that had long since gone cold sitting on the bedside table beside her. She was uncharacteristically splayed out, which she put down to pure exhaustion. Despite the fact that Raven had given almost everything she had in trying to heal various injuries all afternoon and well into the night, she felt helpless as she watched over her patient. She had always preferred her magic to the miracle that was modern medicine. Despite the benefits it had, for those who had to watch from the sidelines, the various machines and tubes that were tethered to patients to keep them alive was a horrifying sight. Then again, there were worse things in the Med Bay currently. It had only been a few hours since they had been able to stop working. Raven's cloak, which was still covered in blood…and not her own…lay discarded, poking out of the top of a washing basket on the other side of the room. It sat there taunting her, constantly reminding her that the events of the day were very much real.

When the call came in from Kid Flash that Adonis had shown up, Nightwing had ordered her to stay behind, much to her annoyance. She had stayed put in the tower, pacing back and forth across Main Ops, the only interruption to her methodical repetition of the same path over and over being Melvin asking her what was going on. She had just got done on one knee to explain when she'd felt it…an influx of an emotion...pure terror. Her heart had plummeted like a stone as she told Melvin to stay in Main Ops while she went to check on the others who had arrived back. Raven hadn't even thought to fly, instead sprinting down the hallways. She had rounded the last corner before the Med Bay when Cyborg's voice rang out, calling for her, the panic clear as day in his pitch. She had burst into the room…Azar the blood…she didn't know what condition he had been in when he first lost to Deathstroke but she struggled to imagine it was as bad as his condition in the Med Bay.

She'd bolted over and placed a cool hand on his cheek, which he seemed to somewhat acknowledge. His thoughts were muddled, his mind weak...his strength fading fast. She'd asked him to stay awake and even then, he was trying to make jokes, even as his eyes slowly closed and she felt her blood run cold. She had pumped her healing magic into him…not even thinking of their connection…she didn't know if she had time or how it worked the first time…she just poured everything she had into him…even as the slow continuous buzz of a flatline rang throughout the room…

Raven jolted upright in her chair as the door to the Med Bay slid open. Cyborg walked in, a steaming cup of tea and a tray of food in his hands. His human eye had dark bags beneath it and Raven knew that he was just as tired as she was. He gave her a small smile as he approached, setting the tray of food down on a table at the end of the bed before sighing at the sight of the untouched tea on the bedside counter.

"Raven…you have to have something."

"I'm not hungry."

Cyborg didn't have the energy to fight it right now. He had just spent an hour in the garage, cleaning himself down, wiping the blood of his arms. Maybe he had been excessive in how thoroughly he had washed his machine parts, but every time he looked at his forearms, it was like he could still the rose-tint of the liquid that had once stained it's surface. He pulled up a chair next to Raven.

"Anything?"

"Nothing…stable still."

"I suppose no news at the moment is better than bad news."

Beast Boy lay unmoving in the bed, looking far better than he had any right too, considering the injuries he had sustained only a few hours prior. His mid-section was heavily bandaged, while various sensors adorned his body, monitoring his vital signs. An oxygen mask had been placed over his mouth in an effort to support his ragged breathing and prevent infection. The only problem with Raven's healing powers in a situation like this was that since the goal had been to simply keep him alive, she had poured her magic in without a target. As such, once they had finally managed to stabilize him, all of the underlying problems which Raven hadn't been able to mend in one go became much harder to identify. As such, they had tried to cover all the basics while Raven regained some strength.

The two fell into silence, the continuous beeping of Beast Boy's heart monitor the only sound that truly disturbed the peace. Raven absentmindedly fingered the necklace resting on her collarbone with one hand, while the other found it's way on top of Beast Boy's which lay by his side, resting on the bed. She gently gripped his hand, using her thumb to gently rub the back of his knuckles. If Cyborg noticed, he chose to abstain from making a comment.

"He's gonna be okay Rae…he ain't just any other person…his genetics are an absolute marvel. Sure, for all we know, he could be capable of turning into an immortal jellyfish meaning he could potentially live forever. His accelerated healing has always been on another level."

"I know Cyborg…I just can't help but think about what would have happened if you had been twenty seconds later…or if I hadn't sensed you arrive back in the tower and hadn't already been on the way to the Med Bay."

"You can't do that to yourself Rae…"

"I know…it's hard not too though."

"Star is doing the same thing downstairs…hasn't left Nightwing's study since she got cleared from up here…guilt is eating her alive…guilt that she shouldn't have."

Raven's thoughts drifted to the Tamaranean, her heart aching for her teammate. She had been absolutely distraught when they arrived back at the tower, neglecting any treatment, even once Beast Boy had been stabilized. She had originally been sat in one of the chairs beside Raven for a while before Nightwing finally managed to convince her to leave so she could rest. Nightwing had popped in a few times to check on Beast Boy's status, but as far as Raven knew, Starfire hadn't left Nightwing's study since.

Raven suddenly looked up at Cyborg in confusion. "What does Star think she has to feel guilty about?"

Cyborg's eyes widened in recognition. "Of course…you've been up here the whole time…Star told Nightwing that Beast Boy may have lost control of the Beast because at one point in the fight when she was taken out, Adonis pinned her down and may have tried to…to…"

Raven held up a hand, not wanting to hear anymore of what Starfire may have gone through, the message received. "She has done nothing wrong and I'm sure Nightwing is telling her that…from what Kid Flash said, she's the only reason that Adonis didn't finish Beast Boy off right then and there."

Cyborg nodded. "Yea…seems that she held him off right up until we arrived…I think she's still just a little shook up is all…she'll be okay…BB waking up will help with that."

Raven tilted her head. "And you?"

Cyborg sank into his chair, resting his head in one hand. "You know me…hard as nails, tougher than a two dollar steak…but yea, I'll feel better once the little guy wakes up. I know we didn't get off to the best start when he came but Star said that he went to fight Adonis alone to protect her…apparently he'd popped his shoulder out and back in by then as well…if that doesn't tell me what he thinks of us…what he'd do for us…hell, I don't know what else he could do."

Raven glanced back at Beast Boy, her eyes following the slow rise and fall of his chest. "He's an idiot."

"An idiot who cares."

Raven sighed in frustration. "He could have distracted Adonis like Starfire did after he went down. He didn't have to go looking for a victory. He could have bided his time while help came. But no, he rushed in like he always does and –"

Cyborg cut across her. "Rae…you're not mad at him…frustrated maybe, but not mad."

Raven felt her words die on the tip of her tongue and a few seconds later, she pulled her knees up to her chest. "…he needs to realise that he can't be so flippant with his own life…that outside of himself, there are other people who care about him."

"Raven…at his heart, that's who he is. Not the not caring about himself part. That...I think we can all help him with. But he's always been willing to put the needs of others first. It's why he broke into the Brotherhood of Evil's base when all he had was a can-do attitude and good vibes…its why he dove into hellfire for you."

Raven knew Cyborg was right…it was just who he was…and sometimes she hated him for it. Her eyebrow raised when Cyborg began chuckling to himself.

"What's so funny?"

Cyborg's laughter died down. "Well…he is still an idiot though. I was just thinkin', the first time Trigon came to Earth. BB, Starfire and I tried to buy Robin time while he went looking for you…did anyone ever tell you what Beast Boy did to get Trigon's attention?"

Raven's brow furrowed as she racked her brain to try and remember if she had been told the story before. "No?... I don't think so?"

Cyborg chuckled. "So, Trigon the Terrible is there, using the tower like his new throne and Beast Boy flies right up to his face, straight into his ear before turning into a whale inside his head. Before you pulled it out of the bag, I think that was the only time Trigon was affected by one of us. It's so dumb but it's so –"

"Quintessentially Beast Boy."

Raven finished Cyborg's sentence for him, a tiny smile playing at the corners of her mouth for a second before it faded as she turned her attention back to the Beast Boy that was currently laid out in a hospital bed. Cyborg, noticing that Raven's attention had gone back to the Med Bay's only patient, got up with a sympathetic smile. He walked over to one of the supply cupboards and rooted through it for a minute, only to withdraw large blanket. He walked back over to Raven.

"Look…I'd like you to eat. It'll be good for getting your strength back. But if you're not going to do that, at least use this. You don't have a cloak at the moment, and I know this room can get cold at night." Raven stared at the blanket appraisingly before gently taking it from his hand. Cyborg smiled.

"I've got to go and take Nightwing through the recording from Phobia. You know, he's doing that classic thing where he throws himself into his work as a distraction. I've got BB's vital signs linked in with my systems. Any change and I'll be up here in a heartbeat."

Raven nodded, not taking her eyes off of Beast Boy's form. Cyborg took that as his cue to leave but as he was walking towards the door, Raven's quiet voice broke the silence. "Thanks Cyborg…for the blanket…and everything else."

Cyborg smiled without turning around. "No problem Raven."

With that, Cyborg walked out into the hallway, the door sliding shut behind him. Raven glanced at the plate that Cyborg had left behind, noticing for the first time the truly enormous stack of waffles that sat upon it. She couldn't help but smile. He really was the big brother of the Titans. Raven pulled the blanket he gave her around herself and picked up a book that Nightwing had brought earlier from the floor. She had requested him that he bring it from her room. A tome she wasn't particularly fond of, it contained all the knowledge the people of Azarath had managed to collect on Trigon's powers. Maybe…just maybe…the answer to defeating Deathstroke lay within it's pages. She flicked it open, as she prepared to continue her silent vigil. No matter how long it took for Garfield Logan to wake up, she would be there when he did.

---

Nothing felt right as Beast Boy eyes moved weakly beneath his closed eyelids. He had always hated the feeling of being contained or trapped, which he put down to his animal instincts kicking in. He had these odd sensations all over his body, dotted about like drops of rain on his skin. He could feel something covering his mouth, which he desperately wanted to rip off, but for whatever reason, he just couldn't quite bring himself to lift his hands to his face. In all honesty, it was beginning to annoy him. He wanted to open his eyes and figure out what the hell was going on, but it was like his entire body was frozen. He could vaguely make out muffled noises and possibly the sound of someone speaking but he couldn't pick out anyone he could recognize, at least not with what he was able to hear.

For all of his thinking, he couldn't remember what had happened that led him to where he was now. He'd been in the Tower that morning…he'd given out Christmas presents to some of the titans…at least he thought he did…and then everything went hazy. He'd talked to Raven as well…maybe the Herald?

With all the effort he could manage, Beast Boy channeled every ounce of his will in raising his arm, hoping to at least get some feeling back into his body, which he felt bizarrely unaware of. His efforts were rewarded with a sensation that felt like it was a thousand miles away but he quickly realised were his fingers digging into something soft. Encouraged by the progress and not wanting to lose it, he kept moving his fingers, regardless of how weak his movements felt. After a few seconds, as the sensation began moving up his arm, his ears detected what sounded like a gasp from somewhere nearby. Finally, a voice cut through the maelstrom, a voice he recognized but couldn't place.

"Raven! I think he's waking up!"

Maybe his frustration had finally gotten through to his muscles, because with a monumental amount of effort, Beast Bot felt his eyelids creak open. They felt heavy and underused. Immediately, everything was too bright and he squinted into the harsh white light above him. Everything was blurry, almost as if his vision was being painted before him by some kind of abstract artist. After a moment, the white light was obscured as a figure moved into line of sight. This one was blue and silver, a circle of red on one side at the top but not the other. He tried to speak, despite how dry his mouth felt, before remembering that there was something covering his mouth. Thankfully, the figure above him seemed to notice.

"Don't move, I got it for you."

Beast Boy felt the covering get pulled away and he took a breath, relived to have had whatever it was pulled away. He brought his focus back to the figure above him, who was becoming slightly clearer by the second, the blurred outline giving way to a concerned face that he recognized. He tried to smile and he coughed a few times as he tried to find his voice.

"…did you muzzle me Cy?"

Cyborg had been working non-stop since Beast Boy went down. Between taking care of him in the med bay to following up with Nightwing about Phobia while Raven stayed with him and he was patched into his vitals in case anything went wrong, he had been practically out on his feet for a couple of hours at this stage. But, that didn't matter. He knew every single second of it was worth it the second he watched his best friends eyes open. His concern gave way to a warm smile.

"Yea…well…don't trust that fang pokin' out of your mouth…how you feelin' little guy?"

"…like shit."

Cyborg held back a laugh, that may have been more from relief than anything else. "Yea well…to say you were in…rough shape would be an understatement. Raven may have healing magic, but even she has her limits."

Beast Boy listened quietly before his brain registered what Cyborg had said. "Wait…where's Raven? Did sh-?"

"I'm right here Beast Boy."

Beast Boy heard her voice to his left and tried to turn his head only to whine in pain when he felt a sharp pain shoot down his neck. Immediately, he felt a cool hand on his face. He looked upwards to find her staring down at him, her purple hair falling in strands, her demeanor calm, but the bags under her eyes were prominent. Beast Boy thought he even felt a slight tremble in her hand. Still, he couldn't help but lean into her touch. Raven gave a small smile at the subtle show of affection.

"Easy…your body has been through a lot and like Cyborg said, I could only do so much. You're not fully healed just yet…far from it in fact…"

Beast Boy, comforted by her presence, relaxed into the bed and Raven's hand moved from his cheek up to run her hand through his hair before withdrawing. Beast Boy licked his dry lips. Noticing this, Cyborg stepped away for a minute, returning with a glass of water.

"Here B…slow sips, okay?"

Beast Boy nodded before Cyborg titled the glass into his mouth, the cooling sensation of the water feeling like bliss to the changeling. When Cyborg withdrew the glass, Beast Boy licked his lips before his forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"What…what happened?"

Cyborg's eyes flicked from Beast Boy to Raven and a silent conversation seemed to pass between the two. Raven pulled her chair closer to Beast Boy's bed before gently grabbing his hand with her own. Cyborg came to stand behind her, before looking down at Beast Boy.

"What do you remember?"

Beast Boy's brow furrowed as he desperately tried to recall the events that had led to him being laid out in the Titans Med Bay.

"It was…Christmas morning…I'd given out presents to everyone and had been talking to Raven on the roof when the alarm went off. There was…a fire? Or the threat of one? I remember leaving the tower with Starfire and a few others….then all I have is flashes. There was some dude on a platform…cult people…and…uhm…"

Beast Boy's eyes widened as a vivid memory came back to him. One that he realised had been unequivocally burned into his memory. Raven and Cyborg both noticed his pause and change in demeanor.

"Adonis was there…but it wasn't him…he was different…warped…on fire. There was a fight and he…tried to do something to Starfire…after that everything goes fuzzy. Where's Starfire? Is she okay?"

Raven and Cyborg exchanged another silent glance, as if Beast Boy had just confirmed their suspicions. Raven squeezed his hand. "She's fine, don't worry. A little shaken up but Nightwing has been with her since she got back."

Beast Boy nodded, relieved by Raven's answer initially, but then a question popped into his head.

"So…what happened then?"

Cyborg stepped forward, putting a hand on the back of Raven's chair. "The only accounts of the what happened we have are from Starfire and Kid Flash. I don't know if you remember, but Argent was with you too, but she got pulled away by the cult. From what we can guess, Adonis managed to get the better of the three of you at some point and when he moved towards Starfire, you went full beast and put yourself in his way…but Adonis was too much for you…and well…you lost…badly. Starfire still won't describe what she actually saw happened to you…Kid Flash compared it to a shish kebab."

Beast Boy's eyes widened and he suddenly became painfully aware of the massive amount of bandaging around his mid-section. He swallowed, a shakiness to his voice when he spoke next.

"Bummer…and then?"

Cyborg, noting his friends brave face, tried to be gentle. "Well Kid Flash saw what happened and called for an evacuation, while Starfire faced Adonis alone…seems she was able to keep him off of you long enough for the Herald to portal us in…we've been working on you here ever since."

Beast Boy knew there was no way he could hide the tremble in his voice. "Ever since? How…how long have I been out?"

Raven answered this time, raising her eyes to meet Beast Boys. "Almost two days…"

Beast Boy felt like he'd just been slapped across the face. He was only vaguely aware of the increased frequency of beeping coming from a machine to his right. He tried to sit up, ignoring the discomfort he felt from his mid-section.

"Two days!? But what about the cult? And that dude on the platform…he was saying stuff and Adonis is sti-"

Beast Boy was silenced as two hands gently took hold of his shoulders, ceasing his efforts to move at the same time. Raven had reacted almost immediately, anticipating the shock of the revelation to him.

"Calm down Gar…it's okay. You're going to tear your stitches if you try to sit up right now."

Beast Boy licked his lips. "Stitches? I have stitches?"

Raven gave him a sad look, before tilting her head downwards, her hands withdrawing from his shoulders back to holding his hand at the side of the bed since he'd calmed down. Cyborg took that as his cue to step in.

"Gar…I'm gonna be honest with you…things were pretty touch and go for a while. Raven's magic was enough to close the most immediately threatening wounds, but that still left us with a lot of problems…we weren't entirely sure how this was gonna go. Thank god you have the accelerated healing from your powers because otherwise…well…"

"I got it…lucky to be alive."

Raven stood, and Beast Boy tilted his head upwards, his eyes squinting into the harsh neon lights of the med bay. "We'll be able have healing sessions a few times over the next day or so, and if all goes well, you'll probably be back up and about within two days…but I need to rest…let my powers return. Cyborg, let me know if there is any change in his condition."

"Will do Raven."

Raven took a step away from the bed before hesitating for a moment and turning back to Beast Boy, her face calm, but with a hint of another emotion that the changeling couldn't quite place. "I'll be back in a little while…I expect you to get some sleep while I'm gone."

Beast Boy formed a weak thumbs up on the bed. "I'll try but…no promises."

Beast Boy noticed the change in her face immediately and it almost seemed as if her skin turned just a little paler. Her mouth opened, as if she was about to say something, but then closed just as quickly. With a quick nod, Raven quickly left the med bay, the door sliding closed behind her. Beast Boy looked after her in surprise.

"…did I do something wrong? Is she mad at me?"

Cyborg took Raven's seat and sat down next to Beast Boy. "Nah B, she's just…it's been a really long few days...for all of us...especially Raven. She borderline hasn't slept since we got you back. She's put everything into healing you. Especially at the start…Raven's magic is best when it targets a specific area and well…you were pretty much gutted man…Raven may as well have been a surgeon with how she had to get stuck in…it was a lot to watch…so I can't imagine what it was like for her."

Beast Boy's fell flat against his head. "God…sorry I scared everyone…I didn't me-"

Cyborg held up his hand to interrupt the changeling. "No one's mad at you B, so don't go sayin' sorry. Starfire said that if you hadn't stepped in when you did well…Adonis may have done something that couldn't be undone. I know for a fact that Nightwing is impressed with how you led the mission…as well as how you tried to protect your team."

That seemed to relax Beast Boy a little bit, but he still looked a little on edge lying back in his hospital bed. "Well that's something I guess…but he doesn't have the full story…my memory after Adonis pinned down Starfire is fuzzy, sure, but I remember the moment before it…I didn't have control…but I also decided to give it up. It was like the beast asked for permission…and I welcomed it…I don't know if that's exactly something to be proud of."

"…I'm glad you did it though."

Beast Boy looked to Cyborg wide-eyed. He wasn't even looking at Beast Boy. Instead, he had sprawled out in the chair he was sitting in, his eyes fixed firmly on his lap. "If what Star says is true…and I have no reason to doubt her…man, I would want to have torn him limb from limb…hell, I want to tear him limb from limb now…sometimes, when a moment like that is so…no…when you see something like that and you know there's no going back if it happens…there's a time for control and a time for the animal."

"Knowing when to let it out…that's what's important."

Cyborg looked up for the first time, locking eyes with Beast Boy, understanding evident in both his eyes and tone. "Yea…I suppose it is."

The two sat in companionable silence for a minute, Beast Boy taking a few seconds to just enjoy sinking into the bed sheets before looking up at his best friend. Cyborg seemed to have melted into the chair, like his body had finally realised it could stop moving for a bit. His memory had been coming back to him since he woke up and his mind couldn't help but drift to the conversation he'd had with Starfire on the way out from the tower, as he looked the metal titan who had just spent the last two days trying to keep him alive.

"Hey Cy…"

Cyborg raised his head tiredly. "Yea B?"

"…guess I just kind of realised I never said I was sorry."

Cyborg lifted his head out of his hand and looked at Beast Boy in confusion. "Sorry for what?"

Beast Boy shuffled on the bed, only wincing slightly as he moved himself into a slightly more upright position. "Just for…Starfire and I talked…or more accurately she talked at me while we flew but…I guess I never realised the effect me leaving would have on you guys…I'll be honest, part of me just kind of thought you'd get over it. Like, sure, I thought you'd worry about me a for a little bit but…you know…you'd move on."

Cyborg was staring at the changeling, his mouth hanging wide-open at his friends admission. Beast Boy would have squirmed under his gaze if it wouldn't have cause him pain.

"But yea…just, like you said earlier…I could have done something different or better…I could have been better…sooo…yea, I'm sorry for putting you all through what I did."

Cyborg simply continued to stare at Beast Boy like he'd grown a second head for a few seconds before seemingly coming to his senses. "Gar…how the hell did you think we'd just get over it?"

Beast Boy looked around the room, partly because he was trying to come up with an answer, but mainly so he didn't have to make eye-contact with the metal titan who almost sounded annoyed.

"Umm…I didn't really think about it that much in all honesty…or like…I just kind of assumed you would…it wasn't the first time I've left a team. Hell, no one's ever come runnin' after me…I guess I just stopped thinkin' about it. Why would have expected things to be different this time? Everywhere I've been, something eventually goes wrong and I get that same feeling that I've overstayed my welcome…"

Beast Boy was getting really sick of Cyborg simply staring at him like he was spouting off about nuclear physics, not saying a word.

"Look…I just didn't think this time was any different, but not because of you guys…just cause…it's always been this way for me."

Cyborg couldn't believe what he was hearing. The mere idea that Beast Boy had this little faith in himself simply didn't compute in his head.

"Gar…hell man…I don't even know whether I should mad, annoyed or just depressed with what you're sayin'…did you really think that we'd just be fine with you vanishing?"

"I mean…kind of?"

Cyborg shook his head. "I mean, I met your old team and I don't think the Titans are like them at all, either in how they operate or in how they treat each other. But…do you think we're like them?"

Beast Boy shook his head. "No, not at all…and I had never been happier than I was with the Titans…just…I always feel like I'm on borrowed time…like when something seems to good to be true, it usually is, that kind of thing."

Cyborg sat forward in his chair, intent on giving Beast Boy a full speech about why that was nonsense when he froze. "Yea, well…I guess we didn't make it obvious for you with how we treated you at times…I ain't gonna lie, even when I look at you now, very much not a kid anymore, part of me still sees the little guy that saw me as something other than a monster for the first time…robotman 2.0…damn, that feels like a lifetime ago…not even including the trust we should have given you with the beast…we weren't always the best with treating you like teammate instead of a kid…"

Now it was Beast Boy's turn to stare with his mouth open. Cyborg rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess what I'm trying to say is…I'm sorry too. But B, don't get it twisted, everyone nearly lost their minds while you were gone…we were broken without you…which also means that if you run off without telling us again, I'm gonna have to knock some sense into you."

Beast Boy gave a sharp laugh before wincing at the sudden movement. "Sounds like a fair deal Cy."

"Oh this wasn't a negotiation of any kind."

"Oh come on."

"Absolutely not."

Beast Boy lightly chuckled, before he felt his eyes get slightly heavy. As he sank back into the bed, Cyborg seemed to notice the change in his demeanor.

"Hey man, you should probably get some sleep. Raven will be back in a few hours for a healing session and if she finds out that I kept you up talking the whole time, she's gonna string us both up from the rafters."

Beast Boy nodded sleepily. "A terrifying thought."

"Don't we know it."

"Cy, are you go-"

"I'll be here for a little while B, don't worry…I'll let the others know you woke up as well. In particular, I'd imagine you'll need to prepare yourself for the hug you're gonna get from Star."

Beast Boy smiled as he felt his eyes start to close. "Pray for me Cy."

Cyborg grinned as Beast Boy fell asleep before he could answer. "Not on your life bud."

---

Raven hadn't wanted to leave the Med Bay when Beast Boy had woken up for the first time, but sometimes, even for superheroes, everything in a single moment can just be a bit too much to handle. After being up for the majority of two days trying to keep Beast Boy alive, she knew she had pushed her powers to her limits and needed time to recover. On top of that, before she left, Beast Boy's last words about promises had hit too close to what he had said just before he'd passed out the first time and his chest had stopped moving…the flatline ringing out. She couldn't think about it or even be in the room in that moment. She didn't care if it was weak of her…Raven just desperately needed everything to slow down, if only for a moment.

On top of that, she had found some interesting information about Deathstroke's blessing from Trigon that could possibly provide some ways to bring his rampage to an end once and for all. However, she had come to the conclusion that there were only two ways to proceed forward. One plan was inherently risky while the other plan, while actually not massively difficult…she knew the team would not like to hear about…let alone consider. As such, it had taken her some time to eventually fall asleep as she had tossed and turned thinking about what was to come, Beast Boy and well…everything in between.

Now, feeling somewhat rested and back into her normal habit of being the first up in the tower, Raven was feeling slightly more prepared for a healing session with Beast Boy. Cyborg had sent her an update on his condition before he turned in for the night and it seemed that Beast Boy's genetics really were a miracle. For all intents and purposes, it seemed the changeling was ahead of schedule, meaning Raven's workload had been massively reduced, something she was more than happy with. After a quick trip to the kitchen to make a cup of tea to bring to the Med Bay, Raven was floating down the hallway without a sound when she first started to hear it. It was faint, but as she continued her journey, the sound became louder and louder. It was completely unmistakable and she couldn't help but feel her ire rise ever so slightly. Unless someone else was hiding a secret musical talent, the source of the guitar playing could only be from one person.

He couldn't have rested…just slept for one night…who the hell even got it for him?

Raven continued down the hallway, ready to let Beast Boy have it for not resting, when for the first time she heard something else. Just like the guitar, it was unmistakable…someone was singing gently to the tune of the guitar and Raven could recognize the cadence of the voice. As she approached the sliding door to the Med Bay, Raven stopped for a moment and extended her powers into the room. She could detect two presences inside, one of which she assumed was Beast Boy. Both occupants were feeling…Raven couldn't quite place the emotion, but warm came to mind. She lightly pressed her ear against the sliding door. Beast Boy's voice was by no means refined, but in fairness, he seemed to be able to hold a tune.

And scars are souvenirs you never lose.

The past is never far

And did you lose yourself somewhere out there?

Did you get to be a star?

And don't it make you sad to know that life

Is more than who we are?

Raven withdrew her head and looked at the door in silent surprise. Rather than allowing the door to slide open, Raven opted to phase through it, in an effort to not alert those inside. When she appeared inside, she felt her jaw drop for a moment before the smallest of smiles spread on her face. Beast Boy was sat up in the bed, his guitar that Raven assumed was the one from his room in his hands, which he was strumming gently. At the foot of his bed, Melvin sat cross-legged, watching the changeling in awe, her head gently swaying to the music. Neither of them had been alerted to Raven's appearance and the empath elected to lean against the wall, her arms folded, a small smile still playing on her face. After a few more stums, Beast Boy began to sing again.

You grew up way too fast

And now there's nothing to believe

Then reruns all become our history

A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio

And I won't tell no one your name

And I won't tell 'em your name

Melvin was completely enraptured in Beast Boy's song, as he began to change from strumming to the two handed tapping style he had introduced Raven too in Jump City. Even the empath couldn't help but be in slight awe at the changeling's skill with the instrument. As someone who liked to do things by the book when it came to learning, seeing a completely new take on anything was always something she could appreciate. She watched on in silence as Beast Boy finished his song. As soon as he finished, Melvin crawled forwards and began bombarding Beast Boy with questions. Raven almost laughed at how flustered he was beginning to look, but her sensible side made her see the problem with Melvin climbing over a still injured Beast Boy.

"Have I been misinformed, or aren't the two of you supposed to be asleep still?"

Melvin practically jumped out of her skin at the sound of Raven's voice hitting the air but much to Raven's surprise, Beast Boy merely tilted his head slightly in her direction, a small smile on his face.

"You could have stopped the show earlier if you wanted too. Seems like someone was enjoying the music just as much as Melvin here."

Raven's eyebrows raised in surprise and Beast Boy snickered, before gingerly reaching a hand up to his face, tapping his nose. "Enhanced senses."

Raven's face turned skeptical, before a suspicious look adorned her features. Gliding across the floor, she returned Beast Boy's cocky expression with a skeptical one of her own.

"Oh really? Pray do tell, what do I smell like then to your enhanced senses?"

Raven smirked as Beast Boy's cheeks turned a distinctly rosy colour, but luckily for him, Melvin was unaware of the corner that Raven had backed the changeling into.

"I know I should still be in bed Raven but…well I wasn't allowed in here for the past few days and I didn't know how Beast Boy was, so I wanted to check on him…I couldn't sleep."

Beast Boy smiled at Melvin fondly. "It's okay Raven, honestly. I pretty much conked out as soon as you left last time. Cyborg was here just a little while ago to run some tests and he said that I should almost be good to go after our next healing session."

Raven seemed slightly appeased after hearing that Beast Boy had actually listened to her, but couldn't help it as her eyes wandered to the instrument across Beast Boy's lap.

"And the guitar?"

Beast Boy turned back to Raven with a grin. "Well, I woke up to Melvin all concerned and she couldn't sleep and when I couldn't sleep as a kid, my dad used to play guitar for me, so I said if she went and got mine from my room, I'd play for her."

"And I thought you didn't sing?"

"I don't really, but I've tried to learn a handful of songs based of what I knew my dad listened too, or who he listened to."

Melvin smiled at Raven. "He's really good! Though I'm probably more awake now than I was when I first came in here…"

Raven rolled her eyes as she plucked the instrument out of Beast Boy's hands. "Well, Beast Boy here needs another healing session, so why don't you head to the kitchen. Nightwing will be up by now and he'd be more than happy to make you some breakfast."

Melvin nodded and began making a move to climb off the bed when she paused for a second, looking back over her shoulder nervously. Beast Boy only had a minute to question what the girl was doing when she turned jumped off the bed and hopped over to his side, giving the changeling as big a hug as she could manage. Beast Boy, initially caught off guard, allowed a warm smile to spread over his face, but returning the hug as best he could, allowing for the wires and sensors that were still attached to his body. Melvin buried her head in his side.

"Bobby was right…you are one of the good ones."

Beast Boy chuckled as Melvin withdrew. "Bobby sounds pretty wise if you ask me. Now go on. The quicker Raven gives me the once over, the quicker I can play music for you again."

Melvin smiled at Beast Boy before skipping around to the other side of the bed to where Raven was and giving her a hug as well. Raven had bent down on one as soon as she the young girl come her way. Melvin buried her head in the crook of her neck and Raven gently stroked her hair.

"Sorry for not letting you know how Beast Boy was…it was a long few days."

Melvin brushed Raven's apology off. "It's okay, I know you were on the doctor duties and probably tired…also it's Beast Boy…you get a break. The others though, they'll get a piece of my mind."

Raven felt the corners of her mouth turn upwards. Azar, this girl was taking too many of her own characteristics. "If you do that to Nightwing, he might not make you breakfast."

Melvin and Raven separated with Melvin heading for the door. She looked back over her shoulder with an innocent smile. "That's why I'm gonna let him make me breakfast first."

With that, Melvin skipped out the door, leaving an amused Raven behind. From the hospital bed, Raven heard a laugh of disbelief. "Damn…that girl is a savage."

Raven turned back to Beast Boy, her amused expression faltering just a little bit as her eyes moved towards the still injured changeling. "Yea, she's definitely a handful."

With that, Raven pulled one of the chairs from the night before over to the right-hand side of Beast Boy's bed, collecting his chart from the foot of the bed at the same time. She read the notes left by Cyborg in silence, not glancing up at the changeling, who's happy expression was slowly being replaced by something akin to worry. Without looking up from the chart, Raven threw some questions into the air.

"How does your throat feel fine?"

"Fine."

"Shoulder?"

"Stiff, but besides fr-"

"Chest?"

"Oh..ehm…a little tight I guess, but no-"

Raven put down the chart and pulled the chair closer to the bed, prompting Beast Boy to stop talking, his concerned expression only deepening. Raven ploughed on.

"Okay, Cyborg's said that the main issue is still your mid-section, which makes senses, so I'm going to do the majority of the work there. After that, I'll move to your shoulder. You should be good to start moving around out of bed by this afternoon, once Cyborg has another look over you."

"Oh…okay, cool."

Raven nodded at his confirmation of her plan, before she began to remove some of the sensors from Beast Boy's body so she could access his stomach. As she worked, she heard Beast Boy clear his throat.

"Ehm…Raven?"

"Yes, Beast Boy?"

"…are you mad at me?"

For the first time, Raven looked up and she felt her eyes soften at the worried look on the changeling's face. Beast Boy, not noticing the change, kept going.

"…because I know I shouldn't have been playing guitar…and I know it's been a long few days and it couldn't have be-"

"No Beast Boy…I'm not mad at you."

Beast Boy eyes widened a little bit. "Oh okay…cool, cool…so…what's up then?"

Raven tried and failed to look stoic, as she began to unwrap some of the bandaging around Beast Boy's mid-section. "Nothing Beast Boy…I'm just tired and I want to get this over with."

"…you're lying."

Raven looked up at Beast Boy with a furrowed brow and Beast Boy looked sheepish. "I mean…I think you are…it's just…well…your shoulders go all tense when you're lying."

Raven was about to dispute this when she paused and actively focused on her shoulders, feeling annoyance when she had to make an effort for them to relax.

"That was just from taking the sensors off you."

"Raven, please…you were in an off mood with me when you left last time, I just want to-…"

Beast Boy stopped mid-sentence as Raven removed the last of the bandaging from around Beast Boy's mid-section, his eyes going as wide as dinner plates. Beast Boy, since waking up to play for Melvin, hadn't been able to give himself a but of a once over. Obviously, he knew Raven and Cyborg had done their best to help him, so besides from a few bruises and tender areas, he thought he was relatively okay. But now, staring at his stomach, he realised just how badly hurt he'd been. Cyborg had described it but…nothing made up for actually looking at it. Three identical scars lined up alongside each other, vertically along his abs, each one about four inches long. The lines, which were entirely not thin enough, meandered across his skin and with the colours he could see around their edges, he felt like he was watching himself heal in a real time. If this was the injury two days later, after all the work that had been done on him…

"You said you were going to come home safe."

Beast Boy tore his eyes away from his stomach and glanced at Raven, who was also transfixed on the same three scars he was. Her hand had been glowing blue as if she had been about to begin using her healing magic, but it started to fade away. By the time her hand made contact with his bare skin, tracing the outline of one of the scars, there was no magic in sight. Her fingers gently grazed the outline of the mark closest to her and Beast Boy could feel his skin tingle under her touch. Raven pulled her hand away slowly, before looking up at the changeling. Even though she said she had rested, he still felt like she was carrying the weight of the last few days as if she had been tasked with holding up the whole world.

"I've had to heal other titans before…Azar, I've saved your life before…but this…this was different. I don't know how our bond works enough to use it like I did last time…I didn't even know if we had time for it…"

Beast Boy ears drooped against the side of his head, the weight of Raven's words sinking into his mind.

"…you flatlined Beast Boy…your heart stopped as Cyborg looked for a defibrillator and I had my hands practically in your chest…for a few seconds, you were gone. I know that may have happened before when you fought Deathstroke but…this time…right in front of us…well…it was different."

"…I promised you I'd come home…and then I didn't…and then last night I said…"

Realization spread across Beast Boy's face as Raven squeezed her eyes shut. "You said something similar…just after you were brought back to the tower…I can't stop thinking about it…no matter how hard I try."

"…I've never been good with the whole words things, have I?"

Raven gave a short laugh, almost a huff more than anything else. "No…you never have."

The two fell into a thick silence, neither one quite sure of how to proceed. After a few seconds, Raven wordlessly summoned her healing powers to her finger tips and placed her hands on Beast Boy's stomach, channeling her energy into fixing the last of Beast Boy's injuries. Beast Boy felt himself relax into the bed, relishing the relief it brought. However, he stiffened when he recognized the feeling…the warm and comforting sensation that Raven was projecting into his body. Beast Boy couldn't help but smile, a shift in expression that didn't go unnoticed by the empath. Beast Boy, noticing her slight head tilt, blushed ever so slightly.

"It's just…I don't remember much after I went down…but back in the tower, the only memory I have is of you. I don't even know if it's a memory…it almost feels like a dream, but I knew you were there…I couldn't place it until now but when you heal me…well…it just feels…I don't know the word for it…safe feels too broad but…I don't know, it's like your healing before was always great but now…whether it's our bond or not, it's like every time you heal me, I feel…well…you."

Raven couldn't help but return Beast Boy's blush as he finished his sentiment becoming even more acutely aware that, while she was working her magic, her hands were essentially gliding over his abdominals. "I've said it before…if it's in my power, I'm always going to be there heal you…but Garfield…even my magic has limits…and you really pushed them this time."

"…Adonis was going to do something to Star."

He spoke so quietly that Raven wasn't even sure if he'd actually spoken or if she had just imagined it, but a glance up at his face, which had considerably darkened, was all it took for her to know that what he'd said was very much real.

"…I know Gar."

Beast Boy didn't say anything further. Raven didn't look away from her work but sensed his anxiety. "Gar…everyone who was there has given their mission reports to Nightwing. Everyone thinks that you made the right call…and that does include me."

Beast Boy looked up at Raven for the first time in a few minutes when she said that, his eyes slightly more hopeful than before. Raven continued.

"But…I still think there's a difference between fighting with passion to protect a friend and losing yourself in the heat of the moment. Everything is okay this time because we managed to heal you in time…just…but on the next occasion, you might not be so lucky. We want all Titans coming home…not trading one Titan's life for another."

Beast Boy sighed. "I know…it's just instinct I think for me…if I can help in a situation like that I will, even if tha-"

Raven looked up from Beast Boy's stomach and the changeling looked into vulnerable amethyst eyes.

"That's my worry. I know how integral instinct is for you but…there is a line between instinct and reckless. Instinct made you rush Adonis…but instinct made you lose control as well…let it guide you …but don't let it result in getting yourself killed."

Beast Boy stayed silent for a minute and Raven went back to healing his injuries. When she spoke again, her voice was steady, almost as if she had rehearsed the sentence in her head.

"I need you to realise that when you risk your life, there are other people that care about the outcome…and more so than I think you understand."

"…I know Rae…think I'm just still getting used to that idea."

Raven felt her healing magic dissipate from her finger tips as she finished up with Beast Boy's stomach. Standing up, she grabbed the back of the chair she had been sat in and pulled it around to the other side of the bed so she could start working on his shoulder. When she sat down, she noticed that Beast Boy's ears were still pressed against the side of his head. She didn't want to be harsh or make it seem like she was giving out, but she felt like she had to say something. She still couldn't help but feel herself soften looking at the forlorn figure in the bed. Before, she sat down, she reached out, placing a delicate hand under his chin and tilting his head upwards. She felt the herself shiver in anticipation at what she was about to do.

"It's okay Gar…you just scared me…that's all."

"I know Rae, I just…I know I would think more but this is all still ne-"

Beast Boy was cut off as Raven placed an impossibly gentle kiss on Beast Boy's lips, effectively silencing the changeling completely. It was soft, delicate and full of emotion, as if Raven was pouring out every ounce of relief that she had now that Beast Boy was well on the road to recovery. Fleeting, gentle and so impossibly Raven, Beast Boy practically melted into her touch. It only lasted a few seconds before she pulled away, leaving a completely stunned Beast Boy in her wake.

"I know it's still new to you and you're getting used to it…but for my sake…get used to quicker."

Beast Boy shook his head, almost as if to re-boot his mind after it was completely blown to pieces before giving Raven a trademark grin, his fang sticking just out of his mouth.

"Noted."

Raven went back to tending to Beast Boy's shoulder until she felt her powers start to strain from over use. His shoulder was nearly back to fully functional anyway. She just wanted to make sure he was good to go. With a sigh, she sat back, drained from her efforts.

"You're still going to need to wait for Cyborg to give you the all clear, but I'm pretty sure I've done all I can anyway. Your shoulder will be fine and any residual pain in your throat should disappear in the next few days. As for your mid-section, I've done all I can for the injury…but I can't take the scars away unfortunately."

Beast Boy shrugged. "Three more for the collection…not like I'm lacking at the moment for them anyway."

Raven frowned at how casual he made it sound. Over the past few days, she had the unfortunate honor of examining Beast Boy's injured body for anything that could have proven problematic in his recovery and while she hadn't found much outside of his obvious injuries, she'd never realised the amount of scars the shapeshifter had.

"True…but also, if you don't mind me asking…how do you have so many? It looks quite…dramatic when seen up close."

Beast Boy relaxed into his pillows. I think it has something to do with my accelerated healing. It takes a lot for something to take me down, but every little nick I get ends up leaving a mark. Trust me, it's not as bad as it looks."

Raven nodded, not entirely appeased, but there was some logic to his words. She pointed out a scar in the shape of a hook just beneath his collarbone. "Where did you get that one?"

Beast Boy reached up and traced the scar she had indicated. "That one goes way back to when I first started running with the Doom Patrol. One of my very first missions out, I got hit by Mallah, who was experimenting with a grapple gun at the time. Only grazed me, but still, solid scar to start the collection."

Raven nodded before glancing downwards towards his arms, her brow furrowing again. "What about those? There's almost a pattern to how they're placed."

Beast Boy glanced down at his left forearm and Raven didn't miss him paling considerably when he realised she was talking about a collection of circular scars that almost looked like he'd been jabbed with a toothpick over and over.

"Oh…ehm…those one's weren't as fun…I didn't exactly find the Doom Patrol straight away after my parents died…I mean, they were in America and I had no way out of Lumumba at the time, but those years are kind of a blur. But anyway, at one point during that time, I ended up in a research facility for medicine and well…I can turn into any animal in the world…a test subjects dream."

Raven looked at him in horror. "But you're a human being? And they treated you like a lab rat?!"

Beast Boy could only shrug. "I guess it was just too good an opportunity for them to pass up…but anyway, I'm over that. It was a long time ago and I don't even remember that much of it anyway. But these scars are basically what you get when you inject a needle in the same place too many times."

Raven was still reeling, her mind making the connection that needles were another thing she had seen when she had formed her bond with Beast Boy. She'd never truly understood the extent to what Beast Boy had been through. None of the Titans would have been able to have guessed based on how he acted. Maybe they just hadn't looked hard enough. She was about leave the subject drop when she spotted one particularly nasty looking scar. She wouldn't have even seen it if Beast Boy hadn't chosen that moment to readjust in his bed, exposing the back of shoulder, where she spotted the think indent in his skin. She was almost afraid to ask, but curiosity always got the better of her in situations like this.

"And that one? On your shoulder?"

Beast Boy looked at her confused for a minute before turning his head to see over his own arm. After a second, he turned around, a dark expression on his face. "Oh…that one was a present from Phobia when I met her while we were all split apart."

"Azar Gar, what did she do to you?"

Beast Boy rolled his shoulder as he reminisced on the injury long since healed. "It was in the report I gave to Nightwing at the time. It was an ambush and she managed to catch me off guard."

Raven looked at him in exasperation. "That is not just being caught off guard Gar. That looks like it was deep enough to cut to the bone. That wasn't in your report. Did you even tell anyone at the time?"

Beast Boy looked at her a little sadly. "Ehm…I actually did try to ring you but there was no answer."

Raven looked at him confused for a moment, before her heart sank.

"It was just after I told you to stop calling me, wasn't it…"

"It doesn't matter Rae. It was a long time ago and trust me, I've dealt with worse by myself. Basically, when she realised I was on the verge of breaking her hold on me, she took her opportunity to take a cheap shot. I never even saw what the weapon she was carrying was because the second I came to, I was a bit…ehm…rabid, and she didn't hang around for long."

Raven processed his words, but when she next spoke her voice was quiet. "What about the others? Why didn't you contact them?"

Beast Boy shrugged. "None of you were near me anyway…what difference would it have made? Nightwing would have made me stay stationary for a little bit and then I'd have to fix it myself anyway. I just didn't want to worry anyone…it wasn't worth it. Also, I know how my healing works and I knew that it would be fine…definitely stung though."

He tried to finish on a lighter note but Raven was having none of it. "Beast Boy…can I ask you a personal question?"

Beast Boy looked at her in surprise. "I think we're past that at this stage Rae, we've been having pretty open conversat-"

Raven cut off his ramblings. "When Phobia took hold of you…what did you see?"

Beast Boy hadn't been sure what Raven was going to ask, but it certainly wasn't that. "Oh…oof…that is a personal question I guess…"

"Hence why I asked. When we talked about it on the day Nightwing found your report in the logs, you said that nothing beat the original and then when I was talking to you through our bond you told me not to assume the Titans weren't there."

Beast Boy wasn't exactly squirming under Raven's line of questioning, but he certainly wasn't comfortable either. "Why do you want to know? Like…what good does it do to know now?"

Raven knew she needed to proceed carefully here. "Listen…in the moments after you left to go stop the cult, Phobia appeared outside the tower."

Beast Boy's eyes widened and he instinctively jolted in his bed before raising a hand to his abdomen, a pain expression on his face. Raven reached out to try and calm him down as Beast Boy looked at Raven breathlessly.

"What happened? Did she attack anyone? What did she wa-"

Raven grabbed his hands and stilled him. Beast Boy finally stopped trying to maneuver his way out of bed, his eyes locking onto Raven's. "Let me explain first. No one was attacked and she's already gone…she had turned on Deathstroke and provided us information on his operation in Jump in return for…a fresh start of a kind."

Beast Boy looked at her skeptically. "You trusted her?"

Raven nodded. "I could sense her when Cyborg interrogated her after she first arrived in Jump and I could sense her when the two of us went to speak to her…I couldn't detect a lie."

Beast Boy seemed to weigh up Raven's response in his head before he sagged back into the bed.

"Well…I suppose if the info is reliable, it's too good to pass up on."

Raven gave him a concerned look. "Yes…but as part of her…intel, it came up that Deathstroke has concerns about the Beast which led to Phobia finding out that the beast is well…you. She mentioned the encounter the two of you had…she said you had autophobia."

Beast Boy looked at her confused. "Sorry Raven, I don't know what that word me-"

"The fear of being alone Gar."

Raven was expecting Beast Boy to shrink in on himself or to try and avoid the question. If anything, he started to look pensive, like he was mulling over what Raven said in his head.

"I don't think it's that simple…maybe that's why Phobia couldn't keep her hold on me."

Raven tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

Beast Boy looked towards the Med Bay window, his eyes a little distant and glossy. "I'm not afraid of being alone…if I was, I wouldn't have been able to leave for Alaska like I did...it's more that I'm afraid of being the last one left. Basically, the vision Phobia showed me was a world where I was trapped as the beast and out of control. You guys tried to stop me but…well it was Phobia's vision. All I could do was watch…I think that was Phobia's idea of me being alone…having everyone turn on me because I couldn't control the monster."

Raven analyzed the changeling, his facial expression, his eyes…Azar his eyes made him look so much older than he was with the way he was staring out the window.

"So what's the idea that scares you?"

Raven didn't answer for a few seconds and Raven glanced down at her hands. However, her head jerked upright when she heard the beginnings of a laugh from Beast Boy. It was quiet and sharp, but it echoed in the silence of the Med Bay.

"It's funny…I've always wondered…is this as good as its gonna get…everywhere I've been…in Africa, with the Doom Patrol…part of me always thought it was gonna happen with the Titans eventually, even though I knew I'd never had a family like this before. My worst fear isn't being alone exactly…it's more like being alone knowing that the people I left are better off without me."

"So when you said Phobia couldn't beat the original…"

"The Doom Patrol before…and the Titans then…we were all apart, you didn't want to talk to me and seemed happier for it…when Phobia dropped in I was just kind of…numb I guess."

Raven was about to speak when Beast Boy continued. "But also…that doesn't seem right anymore."

Raven raised an eyebrow, a silent question to elaborate that was noticed by the changeling. "I've learned so much about myself…and the Titans and…well…I just don't think I'm afraid of it anymore…or more so, I can't see it happening…I think I've finally found something...permanent. At least I hope I have anyway."

Raven could sense he wasn't lying and her eyes softened as she reached out a hand to the changeling, grasping his rough calloused one between her much smaller fingers. "Well…that's as good a start a I could have hoped for."

Beast Boy gave her a warm smile before grinning. "Hopefully I don't meet Phobia again. I'd hate to have see what I can only assume is my new greatest fear."

"And what would that be?"

"Sting Rays"

"…you have got to be kidding me."

"They know what they did."

Raven couldn't help it as she let out a full laugh, causing Beast Boy's heart to soar as he joined in, the levity of his injury from a few days prior and the uncertain nature of what lay ahead briefly lost as the two found simple joy in a brief moment to themselves. Maybe…just maybe, the Med Bay wasn't so bad after all.

---

The morning passed quickly after that with Raven only disappearing from the Med Bay once Cyborg arrived, because she said she had to speak to Nightwing regarding some findings of her research regarding Deathstroke's blessing. Beast Boy had started being able to pick up on some of Raven's tells and he know there was something she wasn't telling them but he chose not too force it. Nightwing had popped into the Med Bay at one point that morning to check in Beast Boy, the relief evident on his face when he was up and talking. He told him and Cyborg that he wanted to have a team brief in the afternoon, assuming Beast Boy was going to be in good enough shape to attend. Cyborg had simply got on with Beast Boy's tests so he could be cleared from the Med Bay, although active duty was still at least another day away. When he was done, he gave a Beast Boy a smile.

"Alright man, you should be good to go. Just don't go doing something stupid for the next day or so and try and keep the shifting to the minimum. How are the legs feeling?"

Beast Boy, who had just swung both his legs over the side of the bed and planted his feet firmly on the ground, took a few tentative steps away from the bed.

"A little stiff, but nothing that would worry me. I've been worse."

Cyborg folded his arms. "Yea, I know you have...it was two days ago. Anyway, if you're all set, we can head down to Main Ops."

Beast Boy was about to reply when the Med Bay door slid open, revealing the resident Tamaranean of the tower. Beast Boy hadn't seen her since they had fought Adonis so immediately stood up a little bit straighter when he saw her. Even if he wasn't worried about her, it wouldn't have taken an expert to see she hadn't been sleeping well. Starfire, who was usually a fiend for using moisturizers and face creams that she procured on her many trips to the mall, looked absolutely exhausted. When she scanned the room and her eyes locked on Beast Boy and Cyborg though, her eyes lit up, a warm smile that make stone smile back adoring her face.

"Beast Boy…it is most good to see that you are well. I was of course present while you were being worked on by Raven and Cyborg but…that was a far more stressful time…"

Beast Boy tried to play it off. "You're telling me. I've been given all the details about how I became Beast Boy on a stick. Trust me, it wasn't fun."

Cyborg looked between his two friends like he was watching two siblings get reunited and he couldn't help but smile as Starfire walked towards Beast Boy, the happiest she had looked in days. Starfire stopped just in front of Beast Boy, leaving the changeling rubbing his neck sheepishly.

"So…I heard you kicked Adonis' a-"

Beast Boy was abruptly cut off as Starfire wrapped him in a hug, which Beast Boy immediately returned, tucking his head under her chin allowing Starfire to rest the side of her head on the top of his. Beast Boy chuckled and Starfire could feel the reverberation in her neck. "I guess sometimes it's easier to just not say anything, huh."

Off to the side, where Cyborg had started packing away medical supplies, he couldn't help but scoff. "There is no way in hell you have just learnt that lesson this far into your damn life."

Cyborg's disbelief prompted another round of giggles from the changeling and the Tamaranean which was so infectious, that even Cyborg couldn't help but join in. He tucked away the clipboard he had been using into a drawer and turned to the duo. "Hey ya'll, I'm gonna head down to Main Ops. I know Nightwing wants to have a meeting when everyone's ready, but take your time. I'll stall for you guys for a few minutes."

Starfire beamed at Cyborg. "That would be most appreciated Cyborg. We will only be a minute at most."

Cyborg left the room chuckling, leaving the Tamaranean and the changeling alone. Beast Boy had been glad to see Starfire brighten up when she saw him, but his delight slowly turned to confusion as his heighted smell suddenly picked up on something. It was subtle, not noticeable to anyone except Beast Boy, but he recognized it immediately…the smell of salt in the air. Shortly afterwards, this was accompanied by the not so subtle sign of Starfire starting to shake ever so slightly in Beast Boy's arms. Beast Boy pulled her away abruptly, although still holding her by the arms.

"Star? What's wrong?"

Starfire looked down at Beast Boy through teary eyes, which she proceeded to wipe at furiously. "I am sorry friend Beast Boy…it has just…it has been a long few days. I know you have been told, but we truly did not know if you were going to pull through and well…if we had lost you just as we had got you back, on a mission I was on…I would have never forgiven myself."

Beast Boy stared at Star incredulously. He reached up with one hand and gently wiped a tear from her eye. "Star…I remember a time when I once told you that we should live in the here and now. Also, I haven't even brought up the fact that based off what everyone's telling me, you're the one who saved my life after I went down."

Star nodded, but didn't seem convinced. "I know I was able to purchase the time required for the others to arrive, but you wouldn't have been so grievously wounded if I had been more active on the battlefield. I should never have let Adonis corner me like that…"

Beast Boy's face noticeable darkened. "Star…that wasn't your fault. We all got caught in the fire and what happened afterwards…the only one to blame is Adonis…"

Beast Boy trailed off. Both of them knew exactly what the other was alluding too. It hung in the air, thick and heavy, the unspoken possibility of what might have been. Neither of them knew how far Adonis may have gone and neither of them had any interest in dwelling on the possibility. Starfire wiped her eyes, but looked at Beast Boy with a touch of curiosity.

"Thank you Garfield…however, I've been wanting to ask you something."

"Anything Star."

"The Beast you turned into in your final clash with Adonis seemed…more similar to your older form. It wasn't as methodical and a bit more…well…wild. Why was that?"

Beast Boy gave her a heartfelt look. "I've actually been thinking about that myself. You pointed it out before but…I used to only be able to turn into the beast for Raven but when I went away and I found a way to work with the beast. I think since then it has a better understanding of what's important to me instead of just…well me…but on a more primal level. When I saw you on the ground…well…it knew it had to do something, so I let it."

Starfire listened with a wide-eyed look. "So the beast can still take over in a sense, but it needs your permission and it is more aligned with your values?"

Beast Boy offered a quiet assent. "Pretty much…and no one touches a member of my pack."

Starfire face turned absolutely radiant as she once again engulfed Beast Boy in a hug, which Beast Boy returned before wheezing abruptly as his feet left the ground. "Ahahaha, easy Star! I'm still on the mend!"

Starfire gasped and placed him down again, a flustered look on her face. "Oh I am most sorry Garfield. I just simply…I couldn't contain myself!"

Beast Boy chuckled, holding his ribs. "You're fine. We should probably head down to Ops though. I'm sure Nightwing figured some stuff out while I was out cold."

Starfire and Beast Boy walked side by side out of the Med Bay, Starfire with a confused expression her face.

"You were cold? But the blankets in the Med Bay are most warm?"

"…never change Star."

---

Nightwing's head shot up towards the Main Ops door when he heard it slide open, his attention diverting from Raven, with whom he had been having a quiet conversation with ahead of the meeting he'd organized. He'd known that Raven had apparently found something that could help them with their fight against Deathstroke, but once he heard what she had to say…well the pit that had formed in his stomach was yet to go away. He wouldn't consider it and he knew that no one the team would consider it either, hell, they were going to get angry that it was even suggested, but ultimately, he wasn't even sure if it was in the hands of the Titans…it may just be in the hands of the empath, whether she cared what they thought or not. He put it to the back of his mind for a moment when he saw Beast Boy walk in gingerly.

Beast Boy scanned the room for Nightwing as soon as he entered and spotted him talking to Raven at the back of the kitchen. He felt his ears twitch against the side of his head. Raven was the visage of her normal, passive self, but Nightwing…Beast Boy couldn't think of a time when he'd actually observed the leader of the Titans looking pale, so now that he was looking at it, it seemed even more alien. When Nightwing saw him though, his demeanor changed entirely, a broad grin splitting his face. The Titans leader excused himself from Raven who approved silently, glancing past Nightwing and upon seeing Beast Boy and Starfire, nodded in their direction before going to take a seat on the couch. Beast Boy put Nightwing's nervus expression to the back of his mind. Sure, it could have been about anything…

The two Titans embraced in a hug in the middle of Main Ops "Good to see you up and at it Gar…scared the living hell out of us."

Beast Boy grinned as he pulled back. "Nah, I was never in doubt. Gonna take way more than some wannabe hellhound to take me out."

Nightwind smirked before his expression became more serious. "I've debriefed every titan that was involved in the mission from the start…sounds like you ran it well…and made some pretty clutch decisions."

Beast Boy's smile also disappeared, noting the change in Nightwing's tone. "Just showing that I'm someone that you can rely on when times get tough."

Nightwing's eyes widened beneath his mask ever so slightly, before he gave a smile alongside a shake of his head. "That was never in doubt."

The two held each other's gaze for a split second before Nightwing left to go stand at the front of Main Ops, a silent message passing between the two Titans in that single moment. Both of them were going to hold up their promises to each other and it wasn't going to be a problem again…for either of them.

Beast Boy glanced around the room, noticing that alongside the same Titans that had been present the last time he had been here, they had now been joined by the rest of Titans East. Beast Boy smirked as Mas y Menos obsessed over Starfire, who was politely trying to tell them that she didn't understand what they were saying, while Aqualad and Speedy were sat opposite Bumblebee. Beast Boy saw that there was an empty spot beside Raven on the couch, so he meandered through the busy main area to take a seat beside her. She lifted her head in acknowledgement at his arrival. Beast Boy wasn't expecting some grand gesture from the empath, after all, no one knew that they were an item yet…well maybe Starfire knew by pure intuition, but no one knew officially. But still, he was slightly concerned by her almost complete lack of reaction.

"Rae? You alright?"

Raven jolted in her seat, almost like she wasn't expecting to be spoken too. "I'm fine…just something I need to talk about with all the Titans…I want to get it over with."

Beast Boy glanced downwards, eyeing the especially large book that lay on the empaths lap. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something about the tome, whether it was the text on the front that he couldn't understand, or the frayed edges that seemed to suggest that it was either really old or had been through rough times, something Raven's books never were as she always took the utmost care of them, put him on edge.

He looked back up at her with a nervous expression. "Hey Rae…what are you readi-?"

"If everyone ones ready, we can get started!"

Raven and Beast Boy's heads both shot upwards to where Nightwing was stood at the front of Main Ops. He stood tall as he always did when leading a brief such as this, but Beast Boy noticed the slight cadence in his tone. There was something on his mind and between that and Raven's odd behavior, every animal sense he had was screaming at him that something was wrong. Nightwing pressed on.

"First of all, Beast Boy, it's beyond a relief to see you out of bed for the first time since your last mission. I think I speak for everyone when I say…please don't scare us like that again."

Beast Boy rubbed his neck sheepishly while a few people reached over and patted him on the back. "Yea, well it wasn't in my plans at the start of that day in fairness."

Nightwing smirked before turning his attention back to everyone, brandishing a folder in his right hand. "Phobia provided us with some valuable intel on Deathstroke's operations, including his current base, a list of criminals under his employment and/or blessing as well as information on the operations of the cult of Trigon around the world. All of this can be found in these dossiers Cyborg helped me to prepare. There are multiple copies to go around."

Most of the Titans attentions were brought to a stack of similar folders on the main table but Beast Boy's eyes didn't stray from Nightwing. Nightwing cleared his throat. "However, none of the information provided actually gives us a clue on how to actually take Deathstroke down. As I'm sure most of you know at this stage, or have at least thought about…much like Trigon, Deathstroke isn't a villain we can simply lock up anymore. The solution needs to be more…definite. Raven has been doing some research and has managed to find…two possible answers. I disagree with one of them but…you all have a right to hear them both."

Beast Boy's eyes widened as he turned towards Raven, only to discover that she had already left soundlessly. Nightwing took step backwards, folding his arms, his head lowered, as if he knew there was a storm coming. Raven stopped and stood in front of everyone, the tome she had been holding still clutched to her chest.

Over the last few days, I have been trying to understand more about Deathstroke's source of power and what he hopes to gain. Some of you may know already but, his goal is to kill me in a ritualistic manner that will allow him to harness the power of Trigon's endless amry of fire demons."

Ravager raised a hand and an eyebrow. "Ehm...I know your Trigon's daughter and stuff but…what does that have to do with you now…since you know, Trigon's kicked the bucket?"

Raven tilted her head. "Trigon hasn't kicked the bucket perse…he can't really die. When he came to Earth, I was able to banish him to the farthest reaches of perdition. It will be a millennia before he can reform again, but he does still live in his own twisted way. As for me, I am still his daughter and first in line to take command of his legions. It was never supposed to happen obviously, as I was never supposed to make it past sixteen but…well here we are. In terms of rank, I'm the only thing standing in Deathstroke's way between him and total power here on Earth as the only other person Trigon ever granted status too…"

Raven scanned the sea of concerned faces that were looking up at her and part of her desperately wanted to stop talking, to tell them everything was going to be fine and sit back down. But that was simply not the case.

"…which bring me onto how this could be used to potentially bring him down."

Raven held up the book in her hands to the gathered Titans. "This is a collection of all the knowledge the people of Azarath managed to collect on Trigon's affairs before it was decimated. I went and retrieved it when I was last there before Trigon's first attempt to invade Earth. From it, I've gleamed two paths forward."

Cyborg cut across her. "Why do I get the feeling that neither of these plans are gonna be straightforward."

Raven glanced in his direction but didn't answer. "It would seem that Deathstroke's new found strength does come with a flaw, in that he is now susceptible to being banished in the same way I banished Trigon the first time. However, this comes with a lot of caveats. Firstly, much like what he requires from me, it seems he would need to be banished at the site where I became the portal…the exact site he is required to kill me on and his current main base of operations…I don't need to explain the risks of an operation like that going wrong…secondly, I would need to harness my powers in a way that I can't quite explain…most of you would be familiar with it as you've seen me appear in a white cloak rather than blue…while I have achieved this in bursts, it's not something I've ever been able to do on command."

The Herald raised a hand. "How many times have you managed to summon it before?"

Raven paused for a moment. "Only three times while on Earth and each time was under very diff-"

"Three?"

Raven turned to the speaker and her eyes softened as they landed on Beast Boy's face. His expression was bizarrely neutral for the topic being discussed, but he did look quizzically at Raven's latest statement.

"You turned white when you banished Trigon and once while Malchior was still on his first run in Jump…what was the third?"

Raven blanched for a moment, but luckily, Starfire came to her rescue. "When you were fighting Deathstroke in Alaska Beast Boy and Raven had to try and heal you through your connection…she turned white then."

Beast Boy's ears pressed against his head as he held his gaze with Raven. "Oh…I didn't know that."

Raven looked at him sympathetically but knew now wasn't the time for that conversation. "Yes, well, I have enough of an understanding of the circumstances to know that it is do with all aspects of my being…uniting…in a way. But it is not as simple as wanting it to occur…I don't know if I'll ever truly figure it out."

Cyborg sat forward in his chair. "Okay, so if that might not be a runner, what's the other way you found?"

Raven face turned to stone when the question hit the air. She looked around the room impassively, preparing to say the sentences she had practiced in her head a hundred times.

"I was never supposed to make it past sixteen and this conflict was never supposed to happen. In theory, I have always been the next in line for the command of Trigon's armies, which inherently means the Titans are already in possession of what Deathstroke needs and can break the cycle."

Aqualad raised a hand from the back of the room. "Sorry Raven, but…break the cycle? What do you mean by that?"

Raven remained impassive. "If I wanted to, I could claim the right that Deathstroke desperately wants for himself. However, I would need to fully embrace my demonic heritage…in essence, the person you know would cease to exist and I all that would be left would be the demon. But, the power would essentially be out of Deathstroke's hands forever."

Cyborg stood out of his chair. "What?! You want us to just let you give yourself up just so we can what…lock you away forever and throw away the key?! Not on your life!"

There were several cries of agreement throughout the room and Raven patiently waited for everyone to stop. "You couldn't lock me up if you tried…you underestimate the power I would wield and not be in control of should I do this. Also that wouldn't break the cycle. I would still be on Earth and Deathstroke could still have a chance at taking power from me."

Starfire covered her hands with her mouth in shock. "Raven…please…we are not considering th-"

Raven cut her off. "You have to consider this. It is one of the only paths forward that would guarantee that those armies never fall into Deathstroke's command. In fact, he may lose the source of his powers, if I, the last true remnant of Trigon's powers on Earth were to vanish, but to guarantee that is for me to embrace my demonic heritage…and to die by someone else's hand before I lose myself."