Chapter Twenty-Seven:

A Scam Gone Awry

Shroomy strolled through the streets of Mushroom City, enjoying the fresh afternoon air without a care in the world. Not only had it been some time since the last scout meeting, but it felt like ages since his last misadventure with Mario and the rest of the Glitchy gang. Today was uneventful, which was just fine with the mushroom scout.

However, he did spot his uncle Doomguy blowing up a couple of demons in the countryside this morning. As he watched, Shroomy briefly considered talking to him, but then, he decided to mind his own business and kept walking on.

Even though Doomguy was his uncle, Shroomy wasn't sure if the demon hunter would be proud of his scouting accomplishments. The man was a demon hunter, and he didn't seem to like that his mushroom nephew had gone from being a fellow demon hunter to a happy-go-lucky boy scout. Then again, it was easy to blame the infamous Bite of '87.

The jolly red mushroom boy was walking past an old factory when he heard a voice call out; "Fortunes, come and get your fortunes!"

He turned around, spotting Wario at a table with a couple of cards, and wearing a turban and a fake mustache over his real mustache. Today, Wario had decided to become a fortune teller of sorts as part of a scam, which he hoped would help his declining scamming business.

On Shroomy's end, he didn't see Wario; all he saw was a pudgy fortune teller.

"You." Wario gestured to Shroomy, "Would you like to see your fortune? It'll cost you five coins."

"Okie-dokie," Shroomy remarked, he didn't seem to be remotely worried about the scam he was about to become a victim of.

The little mushroom paid the fortune teller, aka Wario, with a pile of five coins, and the greedy Italian declared, "And now the cards will tell your fate."

Wario picked up the card he had in mind, made sure Shroomy didn't see what it would be, and dramatically moved his fingers as he chanted a fake incantation and prepared to show the card to the unsuspecting mushroom. After a minute, Wario flipped the card around and cried, "Ah, not the Cory in The House card! IT'S A BAZILLION YEARS OF BAD LUCK!"

"Golly gee!" Shroomy exclaimed with shock.

"Ah, but luckily, I have a bunch of crazy charms for you..." Wario went on, "They could be all yours for the price of... 100,000 coins."

He then moved over to a large cart close by with various items on sale, ranging from a Super Bell to a Yoshi Egg and a filthy skull.

"You interested, eh?" The scam artist asked.

Shroomy heard a noise and turned to see a Leprechaun walking along the street. As soon as he saw it, the mushroom squealed with excitement and ran after it. Saint Patrick's Day may have come and gone, but a green leprechaun was a gorgeous sight to behold, and Shroomy hoped he could have a pot of gold.

"AH, DON'T GO NEAR ME!" The leprechaun cried; he ran as Shroomy chased after it, and the mushroom giggled with glee.

Wario watched as Shroomy left, and the fat scam artist groaned with defeat as he removed his turban. "If only he'd been here to help..." He remarked, "Damn it, ever since Waluigi left, it's been hard to scam people. If Waluigi was here, he could have prevented that sucker from getting distracted by that stupid imp!"

And so, another scam had gone awry, meaning very little money for the likes of Wario. At least he got five coins, but for him, it didn't matter so much if he got less money. And without Waluigi, things really had fallen apart.

The other day, a pair of yellow Inklings had laughed at Wario for trying to host a Mushroom Turf War at the park, a scam that had backfired right off the bat. He never forgot about that one; Wario had yelled at the Inklings in a maddened tone and said all sorts of nasty things about their species, which freaked the squid kids out as they ran away.

And, just over a week ago, he'd attempted a hand buzzer scam that went south as soon as he high-fived that Zora guy, who got a real shocker.

Wario closed down his fake fortune-telling business and walked through the city, a small tear rolling down his eyes as he angrily cursed Waluigi for leaving him.

His brother was the backbone of the scam business, one of the main reasons Wario had been successful in the first place. And Waluigi's cunning also ensured the two of them had evaded being arrested by the cops for their robberies.

Without Waluigi, what was even the point anymore?

"Everywhere I go..." Wario groaned, "...I see him."

He looked up at a warehouse and, for a moment, he could see himself and Waluigi burning it down as they got away with all of the loot inside while the police sirens wailed. The dream quickly faded, and Wario walked on, welling with rage and sorrow all at once. He was less than happy, having faced multiple humiliations after Waluigi had up and vanished.

And it all started when he'd left; Waluigi not coming home had worried Wario. But once his first solo scam had gone south, that was when the humiliations really started. It wasn't helped by the fact he'd seen Bob break into his vault and make off with a heap ton of the money that Wario was keeping.

In the back of his mind, Wario vowed that, when he saw that sleazy Garo again, he would break his spine and tie him up before subjecting him to the sound of him singing a song called 'The Bastard of Bastards.'

Oh, that would not be the only song. He had another song in mind. It wasn't named yet, but it was about his hatred for Bob. This song was a rant song, and Wario was itching to sing one.

Wario shook off the thought and looked around the street corner he was passing through. He watched as a couple Toads ran off with bags of money they'd taken from a truck. Then the greedy Italian saw a couple of humans looting a jewelry store.

"Ah, what am I thinking?" Wario groaned with frustration as Waluigi surfaced in his mind again, "That idiot brother of mine was pathetic, useless, and good for nothing..."

"Mama mia, someone help..."

Wario's ears perked up, hearing the high-pitched Italian accent of Mario right as he was walking past a warehouse. He heard whimpering, followed by a remark about an itchy ass, and walked towards the steel door. Wario put his ear up to it, listening closely to the sound of despair, and then, he decided to take a peak inside...