AN: For the record, this is not a new chapter. If it was a new chapter, I'd have made myself look pretty foolish. But this is way too short to be a new chapter, and consequently, I do not look the fool. And for that reason, I'll be posting this as a sort of in-betweener thing.
I still don't know what I'm going to be doing with this story. But I randomly came up with a couple of gags I wanted to do, and it seemed like they'd work as a stand-alone, omake sort of thing. Then I actually tried writing them out, and the whole thing ended up being longer than I'd planned on. But still, too short to be an actual chapter. I hope I've managed to clear that up.
Guest: I'm assuming the other story you're referring to is Stupor Heroics. And to be fair, in that story her problem is actually with Lynn. Ragnarok's feelings regarding Lincoln are...complicated. In a perfect world I'd already be writing about Alpha Lori, but the premise of this thing needed Luna, and Luna tends to beget Sam, and that's why we're here, where we currently are. Hopefully I'll get around to Lori eventually.
darkkrt: The line is debatable, but no uglies were bumped, so I feel pretty safe leaving it at T for now. The story isn't supposed to be particularly heavy on the ecchi, the last chapter just kind of ended up that way. I think the first chapter, and this not-chapter are more representative of how I think the story would typically go.
SonicMax: You say that like I've written a bunch of stories that have heavily featured her. And have commissioned several drawings from my good buddy UnderratedHero (not to be confused with Hero the ditto, who's a jerk) depicting some of those versions of Sam. Drawings which you would be able to find on his twitter if they existed.
Kael Hyun: Only in the broadest, possible sense.
Cookie Warlord: Thank you. I try to keep my Louds reasonably consistent with how they're actually portrayed, and I'm always happy when people affirm that I've succeeded at that. Like I said, I like Shelby well enough, but I don't feel all that compelled to use her in stuff at this time. One of the consequences of TLH having such a large cast is that you usually aren't wanting for actors to fill any roles you need. Doesn't mean I won't use her for anything in the future, I just don't see any use for her at this time. But yeah, some of those other QTs are pretty much guaranteed to show up at some point. Becky especially.
Post Update Update:
Okay, now that there's a new chapter, I'm post-emptively calling this Chapter 3 for the sake of simplicity.
"And so it fell to the great, and incredibly forgiving Lynn to save Lincoln from his own incredible short-sightedness and hubbis—"
"It's hubris," Lincoln wheezed, irritably. From her vantage, Lynn couldn't see his face, but his tone strongly suggested that his forehead was crinkling up in that special way it did when he was really cheesed off. Which, in situations like this, was both extremely gratifying for her, and made him look adorable. So really, in that respect, this whole thing was a win/win for her.
They made an odd pair. Which, to be fair, was a good way of describing them at most times, but on this particular occasion, Lynn was pushing Lincoln along the dusty road by way of a wheelchair she'd secured for her partner. The thing that had been Lincoln sat in the conveyance; covered in bruises and bandages, and looking for all the world like he'd gone twelve rounds with a giant monster and lost. Which...wasn't an inaccurate summation of events. Also, for some reason, his right hand was delivering a very emphatic thumbs-up. It wasn't intentional, or so he said, but no matter what she'd tried, Lynn had been incapable of getting his hand to change position. At this point, she was starting to worry, just a little, that it might be permanent.
"And do you really need to be narrating this?" Lincoln continued, dourly.
"How would you learn from your mistakes if I didn't rub them in your face?" Lynn asked, smirking triumphantly. He couldn't see it, but she knew for a fact that Lincoln could hear her smirking, so she kept it up.
"Lynn, I can hear you smirking." Which, how having been proven right, only intensified her urge to gloat.
...Still, fun as it was to push her beau's buttons, even he had his limits, and it was starting to sound like he was about to hit one.
"Well, I guess it wasn't all your fault," She said, magnanimously, as she gave Lincoln a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. "I mean, you didn't crumple yourself up like a used tissue."
"Hey!"
Lynn rolled her eyes and shot an irritated glare behind her, at the remaining two members of their party. Which...was a whole other brand of weirdness she was still adjusting to. Alpha QT-Mon had only begun to emerge within the last few years, but as soon as they had, Lynn had thrown herself into her training, determined to prove herself of taking one on in single combat and winning. The fact that she'd not only gotten the chance to do so, when so many trainers and their own QT-Mon were looking to make a name for themselves the same way, and succeeded was a tremendous accomplishment for her. And, to a lesser extent, Lincoln. The outcome of that mission had basically been everything she could have hoped for.
...Right up until the point where they ended up keeping the Alpha. That, she hadn't seen coming. Lisa's theory that they could be "purified", and reintegrated back into society had seemed laughable at the time, and Lynn had mostly agreed to let Lincoln try, because it seemed inevitable that they'd just have to put the poor thing out of its misery after it failed anyway. So she'd been more than a little miffed when, not only had the scientist's utterly ludicrous procedure actually worked, but Lincoln, sweet, stupid Lincoln, had the audacity to improve upon it. Successfully! And now they were stuck with not one, but two Alphas in tow!
The fact that they were holding hands somehow only magnified the weirdness.
"That's not fair, Lynn!" Sam protested, tears welling up in her eyes. A far cry from the rage-infused beast she'd been when they'd first met. And the fact that a 15-foot tall girl could be so easily reduced to tears in the first place was it's own, distinct brand of weirdness.
"I said I was sorry!" She continued, pleading. "I even helped you get Mister Lincoln that chair!"
Luna sighed, softly, and gently patted the other girl's hand. "Sam, I keep telling you. You don't need to call him 'Mister'."
"B-but...he's in charge, isn't he?" Sam asked. "He's managing us, right? So, it feels like I should."
She bit her lip, and lowered her eyes. "And...a-and besides…" To Lynn's shock, the blonde Alpha's face flushed red. "I...I kinda...like...it…"
"Good grief," Lynn muttered, shaking her head in annoyance.
"Wait, what?" Lynn's eyes snapped forward as Lincoln began shuffling in his seat, trying to look back over his shoulder at her. "Lynn? I thought you said that a hospital gave you that chair. Why did you need Sam's help?"
"Uhhh…"
Earlier that day
"I'm sorry," said the bespectacled, white-coated man. "Your...coach?"
"Yes," Lynn snapped. "My...ugh, I mean my trainer. He's hurt, and he needs help."
"Stupid Humanese," Lynn muttered to herself, as she showed the man, presumably some kind of medical professional, her wristband, which identified her as a registered and licensed QT-Mon with a trainer partner.
"Oh," said the man who was hopefully a doctor. "That makes more sense, but…I can't just give you one of our chairs. Those are hospital property. They aren't for resale, and they certainly aren't for gifting. If your trainer is hurt, simply bring him here and we'll admit him into our care."
"I already told you, we can't," Lynn growled in annoyance. "He's going to be fine. He's...actually weirdly tough like that, the guy can recover from basically anything. But our funds are almost tapped out and we need to get back to Royal Woods to get more. But I can't carry him the entire way, and we literally can't afford to sit around here, waiting for him to get better. So please, work with me on this!"
"I'm sorry," said the man, as he crossed his arms over his chest. His tone made it clear that he was anything but sorry. "There's nothing I can do for you."
Lynn sighed in resignation and reached into the satchel slung across her back. Lincoln's satchel, as it happened.
"Well, I'm sorry too," She said, not particularly meaning it herself as she pulled out a QT-Ball and flicked it into the air.
"What do you think you're...WOAH!"
The doctor leaped backward as a pair of gigantic, purple boots suddenly occupied most of the space he'd previously been occupying, landing upon the ground with a loud, tremor-causing THOOM. Craning her neck upwards, Lynn found herself meeting the gaze of the ginormous blonde girl attached to them.
"Lynn!" Sam shouted happily. "It's so good to see you! And…"
She looked around, her brow furrowing in confusion. "Where are we? And...where's Mister Lincoln?"
Lynn stifled an annoyed grunt. "Mister Lincoln, is back at our campsite. Still hurt, by the way. And this guy," She jabbed one finger at the now terrified-looking doctor. "Is refusing to help him!"
"Oh..." In an instant, Sam's whole demeanor changed, her smile turning into a frown as she fixed her gaze upon the unfortunate doctor. Her fists clenched, and a faint, but rapidly solidifying crimson aura began to emanate from her body, her irises quickly beginning to shine with the same unearthly glow.
"That doesn't sound very nice!" Sam growled, slamming one boot down right in front of the doctor, the resulting, earth-shaking tremor knocking him cleanly off his feet…
"Lynn? Hello!?"
"Wha? Huh? Lynn asked, as the sound of Lincoln's voice drew her back to the present.
"What happened with the chair," Lincoln asked, his tone making it clear that it wasn't for the first time. "I asked, and from the sound of it, you kind of just...zoned out there. What gives?"
"Oh…not much," Lynn said, quickly. "They gave me the chair, like I said. But it was kind of a pain to get it back here, so Sam offered to carry it for me.
She shot the towering blonde a meaningful glance. "You know, with those big old hands of hers."
Sam gasped, and held up her free hand, flipping it back and forth as she inspected it.
"Luna!" She whispered. Which, given her size, really didn't do much to help conceal their conversation. At all. "Are my hands really that big?"
"They're perfect babe," Luna replied, giving Sam's hand an affectionate squeeze. "Just like you."
As Sam tittered happily, Luna turned her attention to Lynn.
"Hey, Lynn? You've been pushing Linc for a while now. Maybe you should hop back in your ball and take some R&R, yeah? Let Sam and I take a shift. We can take care of him just fine, and we'd probably be able to move a lot faster if you'd just let us handle things for a bit."
"Last time I left Linc alone with you guys, this happened," Lynn deadpanned, gesturing at her mangled partner for emphasis. "Pretty sure if I do it again, there won't be anything left of him."
"We keep telling you, that was an accident!" Luna snapped angrily. It looked like she had more to say, but she clamped her jaw shut, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.
"And besides," She continued, once she calmed down a bit, puffing out her chest and smirking arrogantly. "We've been training to make sure it'll never happen again!"
Lynn fixed the larger brunette with a look that she hoped conveyed the message, "I don't believe you."
"...I don't believe you," Lynn said a moment later, just in case.
"Yeah, well I thought you'd say that!" Luna replied haughtily, before turning to her partner. "Show her, Sam."
Accordingly, Lynn turned her attention to the blonde, and waited.
Sam looked uncertain. "Show...her...what? Hon?"
Luna laughed nervously, before leaning in closer.
"The doll," She whispered, also apparently being unaware of how pointless it was. "Show her the Lincoln doll."
"Ooooh!" Sam replied, her eyes widening in understanding. And then...panic.
Clearly trying to appear nonchalant, Sam slowly lowered her arms, and gently patted her jacket pockets. Then her jean pockets. Still clearly not having found what she was looking for, Sam crossed her arms, and began to slowly trail each hand up its opposing arm, gently patting down her sleeves until finally, she'd reached her shoulders. Lynn assumed the search would end there, but to her surprise, Sam reached for her shirt collar, pulled it forward, and, with her face flushing crimson, glanced downward, and peaked inside.
"S-Sam!" Luna exclaimed, eyes wide with shock, even as her own face began turning red.
"Don't judge me!" Sam replied, biting her lip. "I was...practicing...something..."
Suddenly, she gasped. "Oh!" And then both, her face and shoulders fell. "Oh."
Sighing in resignation, Sam stopped in place, lifted her leg up, and looked underneath her boot.
There, wedged into the sole, was...something. Squinting, Lynn was able to make out what had, at one point, been a sack of some kind, presumably stuffed with straw, or flour or something, but was now extremely, and utterly flat. And there on top of it, also incredibly flat, was what appeared to be Lincoln's spare hat.
"Sorry, Luna," Sam murmured, morosely, as she scraped the mess off of her boot, and tenderly cradled it in her hands. Luna opened her mouth, as if to reply, then closed it. Then, she turned back to Lynn.
"...Okay," She said at last. "Maybe that was a bust. But, if you think about—"
"Nope," Lynn said, holding up the two QT-Balls she'd retrieved while the girls had been busy with their shenanigans. Before either Alpha could react, she thumbed the activation buttons on both devices, and sucked the girls back into their respective balls.
"That was mean, Lynn" Lincoln said, as she set about shrinking the balls back to their storage size, and stowed them away in Lincoln's satchel.
"Yeah," She said, "But…"
She leaned down, and gave her trainer an affectionate peck on the cheek.
"I'm allowed to be," She concluded, as she straightened up. "Sometimes, anyway."
"You know you're going to have to learn to get along with them at some point, right?"
"Of course," Lynn replied, waving one hand dismissively. "But for tonight, at least, it's just you and me. Now, let's get you home."
AN: I decided to try something a little different with Sam. Tried to write her a little closer to how she's actually portrayed in the show, but I think my brand of comedy may have sent her a few notches farther back on that scale than I'd planned. Oh well, tell me what you think.