When she leaves the gym, the sun has just started to fade behind buildings and the whole area lights up in shades of burnt orange and pink.
"Oh, you're already done changing? I'll walk you home, just wait for a second," Shimizu-senpai says and Hitoka's brain short-circuits shuts down for a few seconds before it starts back up again, at full speed this time.
She shakes her head, complexion a sickly shade of green as she stammers out something she can only hope is coherent, "There's no need senpai! Actually, I should walk you home instead-"
Even in the peaceful area of Miyagi that they live in, a beautiful girl like Shimizu-senpai should definitely not walk alone at night.
Kiyoko laughs at the idea, shaking her head with fond exasperation, "Don't be silly Yachi-chan."
"Bu-but-" the girl is ignored and the graceful upperclassman sinks back into the gym with an amused smile tugging at her lips, what a troublesome kouhai she had found for herself.
With everyone in the changing rooms, the outside of Karasuno High school seems to have stilled - as if waiting for something to happen, Hitoka leans on the brick wall with eyes that flutter close as she waits like Shimizu had instructed.
Unaware of the small mouse standing outside the gym and hearing everything that might filter through the opened window so close to the door, coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei approach once they'd closed the lights and locked every door beside the ones closest to them.
"Why the serious face sensei?"
Takeda sighs, sliding his rectangular glasses higher up on the bridge of his nose, reluctantly explaining that the bus they'd been planning on taking for Tokyo had just been booked by another school, "It's going to cost a lot more than what we were planning, I've been trying to figure out what to do."
Yachi blinks, unused to the concept of having trouble funding such trips. When she was at Teiko, the school had been willing to pay just about any amount for its successful basketball team - fancy resorts, facilities reserved for a week or two, and such.
Of course, most schools wouldn't be willing to pay so much, she frowns at the lack of sensible thought she had given Karasuno's escapade to Tokyo.
"I'll try to talk to some more alumni, I was expecting something like this to come up at some point." Takeda-sensei nods at Ukai's words, brows furrowed so deeply they meet at the end of the arch of his nose- that poor man is going to get wrinkles before his thirtieth birthday, Hitoka would bet on it, "I'll try to reach out as well, and if everything fails I still have some economies."
The teenage girl almost gasps out loud, profoundly horrified that the teacher would actually be willing to pay for this. Coach Ukai seems to share the sentiment, despite not being as dramatic about it as Hitoka, "Keep that for your future wedding or something."
"Yachi-san!" the girl startles, embarrassed that she had been caught quite obviously listening in to a private conversation.
Hinata doesn't mention it, skipping his way to her, and continuing to bounce on the balls of his feet even when he comes to a stop a few steps in front of her, "Yachi-san, are you gonna be our manager?
The question throws her off, this boy throws her off, "Uh, well-"
She kind of hates it, but she kind of likes him - with the endless supply of energy, the straight-to-the-point way of speaking, the megawatt smiles that make her feel appreciated for insignificant things like helping him study or listening to him ramble about the game he's in love with, the smiles that make her feel all warm and tingly inside.
Yes, Hitoka kind of hates it.
"You will, right?" Shouyou Hinata makes it seem like her very presence is enough to brighten up his day, like her signing up as Karasuno's manager really would make him this happy.
Sports, she thinks wryly, it's always freaking sports.
("Don't spend your life being afraid of disappointment honey, you'll only live half a life," the girl who says this looks regretful, Hitoka would do anything to wipe that sad, sad look off her face)
Hinata frowns when the girl stays silent for too long, noticing how she'd slowly fallen back on herself, arms wound tight around herself like she could shrink out of existence.
("I don't want things to end up this way," the words are uttered like a confession, like a dirty little secret. Hitoka does not remember who said it, but she knows they both meant it)
Life has a funny way of fucking with her, she had realized a short while ago. She couldn't help but draw parallels between Karasuno and Teikou, between teams and players and-
She doesn't want to, it's not fair, not for anyone.
(Momoi Satsuki was the one person she refused to let apologize for the shitshow that was their last year of Junior High, and coincidentally she was the only one to do so)
"Hey, first-year girl, hey!" Yachi whips around, wide eyes fluttering like those of a deer caught in headlights as the volleyball team's boys surround her - the third year are making their way towards them slowly, Kageyama is a bit further away, a box of milk in his hand from the vending machine behind the gym, "You should definitely join the volleyball team."
Hitoka tries not to entertain the thought, "I didn't realize you'd be so eager to have a second manager?" if there was one thing that had become increasingly clear in the last hours of volleyball practice, it was that Tanaka and Nishinoya adored Shimizu-senpai.
And by adored, she did mean that they groveled the ground the third-year manager walked on - it's cute, not that she would ever say that out loud.
Tanaka nods, a bit sheepish, "When you're around, Kiyoko-san talks a lot."
That explains it, Hitoka feels the beginning of laughter bubbling out of her chest, feels her lips tugging at the corners like the sky itself demands that she wears her emotions on her face.
Captain Samawura is far less amused than she is, "What kind of invitation is that, you idiots?!" despite having been meters away only a second earlier, the tall third-year is now right behind Tanaka and Nishinoya, fists slamming over their heads ruthlessly.
"Sorry for these guys, they're stupid, but they mean well," Yachi's face whitens when Sugawara bows, almost as a habit.
Horrified and panicked, her hands reach out for the soft-hearted boy, "Ah, no! You don't need to bow-"
Samawura Daichi is much like a wall made of stone, solid and unmovable, "You both apologize to her, now." Hinata tries not to laugh when the girl flushes and fumbles when the two second-years do as asked by their captain, shifting to face Yachi and bowing low, "We're sorry!"
"It's fine! It's really fine, please stand up?" the blonde's eyes are wide with alarm, seeking Hinata's help with them. He blinks, not sure how to help the distraught girl, "Huh guys? Maybe back off a bit, I think Yachi-san is a bit overwhelmed."
Hinata, my hero! the girl thinks, slowly settling down and thinking back on what was said between her and Hinata before Tanaka-san and Nishinoya-san crashed the discussion, loud and bold, "I'm grateful, you've all been really welcoming," Tanaka and Nishinoya high five each other, Daichi rolling his eyes at the puerile action, "But I...I don't know if I'll be taking the manager position."
The members around her blink and she steels herself, she had spent so much time avoiding the issue and they definitely deserved the truth.
"I accepted Shimizu-senpai's proposal without thinking," Hitoka huffs, worried of how the blush that burns her cheeks might look, "She was so pretty and so nice, I didn't think it through."
Tanaka nods at that, face unusually serious, "I totally get how you feel, Kiyoko-san has that effect on everyone. I would do anything she asks me without thinking about it too, even rob a bank or something!"
Sugawara gives a long-suffering sigh, muttering something along the lines of I thought we were past the whole wannabe delinquent thing.
"But Yachi-san," Hinata says, brows furrowing "Don't you want to be our manager? You looked like you were having fun earlier, were you?"
She nods, teeth sinking into her lower lip, as her eyes dart to the ground, not meeting Hinata's gaze, "I was," and if the boys were confused before, it is nothing compared to how completely and utterly lost they are right now, "I'm just...not one to participate in school clubs, I don't do well in teams."
Tanaka snorts, grinning at her wolfishly, "Yeah? You're a blessing, especially compared to Kageyama, or like, Tsukishima," she has nothing to say to that, having witnessed just how awkward Kageyama could be, and how cold, not to mention rude, the tall bespectacled boy could be with his team.
"Why is that?" the girl twitches at Daichi's question, eyes unfocused as she thinks of something far away, something she had liked to think she had buried.
She hesitates only for a second, "I'm inconsiderate," Hinata chokes on his next breath, coughing harshly and wheezing as a result, "I'm noisy, unpassionate and I always mess everything up."
(she stays there motionless, trying to keep together mere shreds of an already mismatched patchwork, ignoring the empty eyes of the other team)
"That's not true," Hinata frowns, features scrunched up, "We just met, but I can tell that's definitely not true. Someone inconsiderate would not help me and Kageyama study, someone unpassionate wouldn't give it their all to help some team they don't know. Don't say that about yourself."
"I don't make it a habit," she says, no stammering, no hesitation - Hitoka's milk coffee-colored eyes are barely seen as the sky has now almost fully given in to the night, but they're dim now, no sign of the usual light, the usual gleam you would see in them.
Her insecurities are ugly, but most of all they are her own and she feels no need to push them upon others.
"You don't know me very well Hinata," she says softly, almost dazedly, "I'm honored you think that, but I'm really not, especially not when it matters," she's a coward, bending at only the slightest of pressure, the laugh that crawls out of her throat is not pretty in the slightest, "I'm sorry, tell Shimizu-senpai to find someone else."
Hitoka Yachi is cold, neither harsh or biting with her words, just isolated and detached in a way.
She would like to think she's selfless in her choice, that she's only setting them up for a better manager in the future. Truth is, she's as selfish as she had always been, too scared to take the leap and leave behind the past she is constantly stuck in.
It's pathetic really, how they still manage to have this much impact on her even now - stupid, useless thoughts like how Shin would like that keychain, the crab on it is so cute, and oh I should go see that movie with Ryou and Satsuki, they're such suckers for romance movies!
Everywhere she goes, their ghosts follow.
Even when she's the one who cut the last remnants of the bonds that once held them together, even when she walked away and never looked back - Hitoka likes to pretend that they don't deserve her regrets sometimes.
The silence is suffocating, "We discussed this before, but if you could tell her I'm sorry, I'd really be grateful," she bows then, short strands obscuring her for once expressionless features, "I'll see you all around."
She passes by an arguing Kageyama and Tsukishima, as well as the other tall boy she'd seen with the latter earlier - the one with the freckles dusting his cheeks like constellations, "Goodnight."
"G-goodnight?" the one she does not yet know the name of says, a friendly smile sent her way. Tsukishima for his part, frowns as the girl walks away with too-long strands for her short legs, "What's up with her?"
"Let's call it a night guys," Daichi simply says, unaware of his manager creeping up behind him, looking for the first-year that had just left. "Where's Yachi-chan?"
"Uh," Tanaka says, very eloquently, "She just left, I don't think she'll be taking the manager position, sorry Kiyoko-san."
"What?" Kageyama frowns, he'd found himself rather liking the girl who'd so patiently spent over an hour to try and help him with English, "What did you idiots do to scare her away?"
"Oh," the third-year manager blinks, disappointment marring her pretty features, "I thought she would at least take some more time to think about it."
"She says she's sorry," Sugawara offers, apologetic. Shimizu waves him off, shaking her head, "Of course she is, did Ennoshita leave with her? I think they live in the same neighborhood, so I would assume he'd ask."
"Huh," Nishinoya's brows furrowed when he thinks of Ennoshita Chikara, the only sane second-year the team has to offer - bless his kind and patient soul, "I actually think he left early, his 'ma needed him home."
"Oh," Shimizu says slowly, gaze going from one member to the other and Daichi feels something unknown twisting in his gut, a warning perhaps, "Then Kinoshita or Narita maybe?"
"I...don't think so?" Yamaguchi Tadashi says, "She was alone when she passed next to us, right Tsukki?" Tsukishima sends him an incredulous look, something along the lines of Yamaguchi you idiot.
"So you're telling you left her leave, alone," Kiyoko's tone is made of ice, a cold and ruthless blizzard that hits in the summertime, unpredictable, "When there is a dozen of you. None of you thought to go with her, or to ask her to wait for me?"
A collective shiver goes up the group's spine as the manager pines them with a glare that could freeze hell and some over, "Well, we uh-"
They are ignored as Shimizu fetches her phone out of her uniform's pocket, "Yacchan, where are you?" the worry in Kiyoko's voice makes everyone feel a distinctive shame wash over them, "Stay there, I'll come and get you...I said, I'm coming to get you."
"But-" Yachi's frail voice is heard from Kiyoko's phone, the manger closing it as she turns back to her team, "We are going to have a conversation about safety tomorrow."
"She looks nice, the girl who brought you home," Yachi Madoka, Hitoka's mother, says as she prepares to leave for a late meeting, "Very pretty too."
The teenager nods, drying some dishes, "She is, Shimizu-senpai's been great." Hitoka had been so relieved that the third year hadn't been mad in the slightest, treating her the same as before and not bringing up the subject of volleyball.
"She's an upperclassman, then? What's she doing hanging out with you?" Even if it is not meant to be an insult or a reproach, Hitoka winces at her mother's tone.
The teenager hesitates then, "She's the manager of the boys' volleyball team at school, she was searching for an apprenticing manager and asked me," Madoka pauses at her daughter's words, surprised, "I already refused, but she insisted to walk me home."
"What a responsible girl," Madoka hums, adjusting her hairstyle, "I thought you would have been glad to manage a team again, but you're right, it's better that way - you can focus on your studies. No more boys messing with your head."
"Yea-yeah," leave it to her mother to word things like that, "Besides, I don't know a thing about volleyball."
Madoka smiles, soft and just a bit proud, "That never stopped you, I remember how determined you were to join that basketball team in your first year, wouldn't even let me place a word. How is Satsuki-chan by the way? You know you can invite her to spend the weekend anytime you want."
"Thanks, mom, maybe during summer vacation," Hitoka would like to think her mother doesn't notice how she closes up on herself at the mention of her old friend, the woman rarely does.
"Well," Madoka slips in her high-heels, already long legs now seemingly mile-long, "I'm off, I'm counting on you to make breakfast tomorrow."
Hitoka nods, hurrying to open the door for her mother's work partner, Nakano-san, when the bell rings, "Do miso soup and some grilled fish sound good?"
"It sounds perfect honey," the woman nods, kissing her daughter's forehead hastily as she grabs the two binders that the girl hands her, "Thanks, you're a dear."
Hitoka smiles, remembering the countless nights her mother had spent preparing for this reunion, "Good luck with the project! See you tomorrow, I love you, mom."
Once the door closes, Hitoka slips down against it, basking in the sudden silence, "It's just you and me now."