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Chapter 8 :: Faith to Take Chances
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"But I HAVE to go too, San, he needs me!"
Rachel was hysterical and had been for the last thirty minutes since she found out about Finn's arrest. She continued her panic spiral from the doorway of Santana's bedroom while San dug into her secret stash box labeled 'Lima Heights' written in graffiti-tag style block letters in red glitter paint on the lid. She kept the box hidden in her closet under her tallest, spikiest pair of swanky stilettos.
"Wrong. Listen to me, Polly Pocket. He needs you to stay put and take care of your son. That pozo negro de mierda disfrazado de humano, aka donkey faced el cabrón, is still walking around out there somewhere. And Finnessa for sure would scalp us all if we let you go roaming around town right now, especially with our chicken wing strapped to your milk makers."
Her matte crimson-red lips curled into a knowing smirk as she found just the thing she was seeking buried deep in her little box of trashy treasures.
Over the years, Santana had amassed quite a little collection of blackmail-worthy material on a number of people – some frenemies, some foes (and yeah maybe a few friends too, though she'd deny it). From proof of Sandy Reyerson's black market drug trade to Jacob Ben Israel's dark web indulgences to Sue Sylvester's garden gnomes fetish (don't ask), she had the dirt on just about everyone (and some were dirtier than others); J Edgar Hoover had been quite the role model to one Santana Lopez.
"Now just sit tight here with our nugget boy, and let Snixx deal with this shit – and believe me, she's been ready and waiting for the right opportunity to properly send that piece of shit down the crapper for good." She grabbed Rachel's hand and offered a solemn vow. "Trust me, Finncarcerated will be home directly. I promise."
"But Sanny, h-he's been arrested; he's probably going to need bail money! I can call my dads for help, but it'll take time to get the money transferred. How do you suppose you're gonna get him released, with your BOOBS?"
Santana paused, looking down at and adjusting her cleavage, briefly giving consideration to the feasibility of that idea before tilting her head and answering flatly. "It's worked before. Either way, I got it covered, mami. I still have a big chunk of that cash from my parents socked away for emergencies. That's what a rainy day fund is for, and right now it appears to be pouring."
"San you would do that for Finn? I can't ask you to spend your savings on someth–"
"A, you didn't ask, I'm telling you the way it is. B, YES I would do this for the both of you, largely because I've already seen you shed a lifetime of tears already and I can't be bothered to go through rehydrating your shriveled ass again. But most importantly though, C, if things work out the way they should, he won't need any bail; he'll just be walking outta there – or well, tripping over his own Ronald McDonald clown feet – scot-free."
"Well... as much as I hope you're right, exactly how do you think you're going to manage that?"
The Latina held up a USB drive and waggled it. "With this."
. . . . .
Two and a half hours later, Rachel was curled on the couch, baby monitor propped near her head on the pillow and her cellphone clutched in a death grip. She'd finally started to succumb to the effects of her anti-anxiety meds (which Tana had insisted she take the moment they first told her about Finn's arrest).
Camden was sound asleep in his crib and Rachel had tried to stay awake and keep her mind focused on anything other than Finn's predicament. Once she got Cam down for a nap, the combination of medication and quiet apartment made it impossible for her to keep her eyes open any longer.
She was awakened by a large, warm, calloused hand as it stroked her tear-stained cheek. Whisper-soft kisses pressed into her hair and forehead felt so real that her eyes finally opened when she realized it wasn't a dream. She squeaked out in a sleep-laden voice, "FINN! Oh my god Finn you're here! You're really home! I was so scared! Are you okay?" She launched herself into his arms and wrapped herself around him like an alien face-sucker, tears streaming from her eyes.
"Rach, calm down baby. I'm okay. You're not getting rid of me that easily," he chuckled between the hailstorm of her kisses.
"Oh Finn, I was just worried sick!" She paused from her kiss attack long enough to chastise him. "Though frankly, I should be quite angry with you right now, considering you never TOLD ME about your run-in with Brody at Starbucks," she reprimanded.
He sighed knowing this was the part where he had to grovel a little bit. "I know I know, I should have just told you... but I was y'know, trying to protect you. I didn't want you to freak out and be upset over anything more to do with HIM. Far as I knew, I'd handled it, and there was nothing really to tell."
"Lame excuse, Hudson – and look how well that worked out! I knew those bruised knuckles didn't come from some car part at Ralph's. You're not supposed to hide things from me Finn; we're supposed to be painfully honest with each other. No secrets no lies, remember?" Rachel scolded.
He cupped her cheek and leaned his forehead to hers. "I'm sorry baby. I swear I didn't want to hide it from you, I just didn't wanna hurt you either. I promise I had good intentions."
Santana snorted from the kitchen where she was unintentionally (or intentionally?) eavesdropping and in an exaggerated stage whisper added, "Yeah, like the time you didn't tell her about your v-card getting punched... 'cause THAT went so well."
Both Finn and Rachel's heads snapped up and threw matching warning glares in her direction. Santana froze mid-pour of her margarita mix feeling four eyes burning holes into her and grimaced. "Still too soon, I guess? Aw c'mon guys, you need to get over that shit at some point. It happened like, a hundred years ago – and I HAVE APOLOGIZED, to both of you – an unprecedented entry in the Santana Lopez Chronicles, I might add. You're back to bangin' again so it all worked out in the end, right? Right. So I'm just gonna take credit for my part in the Happy Humping Finchel Fairytales whether you like it or not."
"How can you even SAY THAT, San?!" Rachel practically screeched.
"How? Because look at you two right now, that's how. You're TOGETHER, totally disgustingly in love and stronger than ever. We all know it's only a matter of time til you dig that rock outta hiding, dust off the cobwebs and put it back on your bony finger – because Madre knows Daddy Longlegs is too hormonal about you NOT to propose again.
"You both just needed to fuck up, then grow up to finally get to where you are today. So, now. Here we all are, years later. One big happy fucking dysfunctional family, scars and all. And okay, I played a small part in your rise to Forever Fincheldom." She paused, tilting her head from side to side as she mockingly added, "Muchas gracias – De nada."
Finn looked at Rachel and snickered. "Okay, maybe she has a small point."
"No, she has TWO – one on the end of each of her Devil's HORNS!" Rachel's sarcasm was directed at Santana, who only clicked her tongue in protest, but before San could say anything, Rachel's face quickly morphed into a smirk. "But I suppose she's our devil, and I guess we kind of love her too much to keep holding a grudge forever." Tana blew Rachel a kiss and mouthed 'te quiero niña' in response.
Rachel smiled and turned her attention back to Finn. "And you, mister. I suppose it's foolish for me to stay angry with you when all I am is relieved that you're here, safe and sound and without a criminal record I hope... So now you need to tell me everything. What happened?"
At that point, Puck had materialized from the hall bathroom and slid onto the couch next to Rachel, throwing an arm around her shoulders as Finn gawked in dissent at the action.
"Aw Princess, it was SO great, you shoulda seen it! Tana was off the hook at that police station. She marched right in there and demanded to talk to the HEAD DICK in charge – which that alone was a beautiful thing. Then she got the defectives to play her secret weapon tricky stick on their computer... and hey Tana, remind me to NEVER get on your bad side again because I sure as hell don't wanna know which of my skeletons you stashed away!"
San raised her margarita to toast Puck. "Wise words to live by, my friend."
Rachel slapped Puck's leg. "Focus, Noah. So what was on the USB drive? San wouldn't tell me before she left."
"Right. So, she had sidewalk security camera footage from Starbucks that included audio – which I have to say is a little creepy, like I didn't know Big Brother was THAT BIG! I guess I should be more careful of any conversations I have in public from now on – especially when I'm clubbing with the ladies..."
This time she pinched him. "Once again, focus!"
Puck winced. "OW. Anyway, the video showed Brody crossing the street only AFTER he saw Finn coming out of the coffee shop. So it was obvious he'd been like, waiting to quote-unquote 'bump into him' accidentally on purpose. The wide angle on the video even picked up across the street toward the courthouse where it looked like he was following us as we entered the place."
"Yeah babe, he must've been hiding somewhere close by the court entrance watching us when we dropped you off with Mr Munoz for that visitation with the ass-hat's mother," Finn said.
"Oh my god..." Rachel gasped, wrapping her arms around her middle. "He was that close to us after all... I had a bad feeling he would show up. I just never expected it would be anyone other than me he would bother. So he was like, stalking you two?"
"Yeah, that's how it sure looks on that video," Puck nodded. "But the audio on there just proved everything Finnster had said to the cops, that the guy picked a fight with him and threw the first punch. Finn was just defending himself. In the end, they knew there was no chance they could make a case stick against Huddy, and it was pretty clear that Weaselface lied to them about how things actually went down. So they just set Huddy free with an apology!"
"A-hem," Santana cleared her throat.
"Okay, Tana forced them to apologize," Puck amended.
"Wait, how did you even get that video footage, San?" Rachel asked.
"Psshh, that was easy peasy. Dani's cousin is the manager."
"But wait, that wasn't everything..." Finn added.
"OH yeah, there's more!" Puck perked back up. "So, that little magic stick of Tana's ALSO had some pretty epic footage of Finn dishing out some justice to that piece of shit in that hotel room last year. Oh SNAP princess, you would be so proud of your boy here; he opened a can of WHOOP-ASS on that little punk, it was sa-weet!"
Rachel squeezed Finn's hand tightly and her head whipped around to San who was now half way through her margarita. "I don't understand, how did you–"
"Hey, did you honestly think I was just going to lure Rat Boy into a trap and only use half the amount of poison needed to exterminate him? Hell no. I set up secret nanny cams in three places in the room. Sugar Ray here was actually wearing the one with audio – which was freaking BRILLIANT on playback, I might add! The bird's eye view of Donkey Face getting his plastic mug smashed in was a BEAUTIFUL thing to behold. Your boy here really knows how to handle himself in a brawl. I have to confess, it made my lady parts tingle a little bit."
Rachel scowled at Santana while Finn's face flushed pink. "Hey, keep your tingling parts to yourself over there!" Rachel spat back to her roommate.
"Calm down mami, I'm just kee–"
"Keeping it real. Yes yes, San, we know. So, just like that, they dropped all the charges against Finn?"
"Damn straight," Puck said smiling. "But more than that – not only did they drop charges against Huddy, they said they're gonna ADD charges against the Walking STD. Yeah, they said they'd been surveilling that hotel in a sting operation for the better part of a year after complaints started coming in from a whistleblower on staff that there was some banging for buck action going down in their froo-froo joint. So now that they have this video evidence, even though they probably can't use it in court, they can at least use it to put pressure on that dickwad and make him spill his guts to give up the escort service's name."
Finn added, "Yeah, and if there isn't an escort service, like if he was just operating on his own, his goose is still cooked – probably worse actually, since he'll have no leverage to get out of the prostitution charges at all."
Rachel was stunned learning all these revelations. "Santana... you're just... you're just AMAZING! And totally scary, but also amazing!" Rachel gushed as she leapt up to hug her friend. "Thank you, Sanny! I love you!"
"Oh hell, more hugging... what is WITH everyone these past few weeks? Are all your periods synced up or something?" Santana complained, but reluctantly reciprocated the hug. Puck and Finn piled in too, making it a group affair. "Dios mía would you all back off the designer crop top? And Puckerman, don't think I don't know it was you groping my ass!"
. . . . .
"As much as I love Cam, I'm really glad Tana agreed to keep him at Dani's tonight. I think we needed some alone time for just us after therapy today," Finn sighed as he stroked Rachel's bare back.
She smiled serenely, curled herself around his torso and placed little kisses on his chest. "Hmm... I agree. See, I told you San was a savior," she giggled quietly but became a little concerned at Finn's lack of response and still demeanor. He seemed to be preoccupied. "Are you okay honey? It was kind of a rough session today, maybe worse for you than me."
"What? Oh, yeah. I'm okay..." he sort of trailed off when she'd expected him to say more.
She scratched at his ribs lightly. "Hey, is everything alright with you? You've gotten pretty quiet on me."
He squirmed a bit at her light tickles and continued stroking the skin of her back and shoulder, then pressed a kiss on the top of her head and sighed. "Sorry, no I'm good, babe. I was just thinking."
She turned onto her stomach and propped up on her elbows to look at him. "Penny for your thoughts?"
He smiled and ran a finger down the profile of her face, over the length of her nose, slowing to circle his thumb over the contour of her lips and down her chin. "Do you have any idea how much you've impact you've had on my life, Rach?"
Her eyes looked down at her hands which were fiddling with the crumpled sheet she was partially wrapped in. "I know how complicated I've made your life. I know how much hurt I've brought to it, too."
Hearing that, he leaned up on one elbow to close the space between them a bit. With his free hand, he tugged her chin to face him.
"Hey, that's not what I meant. I meant how much love I feel just for knowing you. How much better everything is just having you and now Cam in my life. You've always made me feel good about myself, but now, it's... it's more than that and I can't describe it. Even after all these years you're still my best friend, Rach. I just want you to be as happy as I am, as happy as you make me.
"And you know, we both made mistakes; did things, said things – or, especially in my case didn't say things – that hurt each other. Call it growing pains. But look at us now. We're here, together. I feel like anything is possible in this life of ours, Rachel. And I feel like that because of you."
His half smile appeared, revealing that dimple she adores. She poked her index finger into it teasingly, and he gently pulled it to his lips. "Anyway, do you really think I'd be willing to put up with just anyone's crazy?" he asked light-heartedly.
"You could certainly have a lot less stress in your life with someone else... but then, I'd be a miserable mess without you. Finn, I hope you know, you do make me so happy, and everything in my life is so much better when you're in it too. Seeing you with Cam, and watching this beautiful father son relationship blossom, you can't know what that feels to see. I always said you were special, and I meant it. I'm just so in love with you, Finn Hudson. I'm glad you chose my crazy over everyone else's," she grinned, kissing him soundly on the lips.
"Mmm baby, I wouldn't trade you for all the sanity on earth," He chuckled as he rolled her under him and kissed her sweetly between his words. "I love your crazy... And your passion. Your heart," biting down her neck, he dropped a hand to her breast and took it in his mouth. "Your strength...Your fire," his feathery touch raked down her side across her hip to the slickness between her legs. "Your music... god, baby, your music..."
She sucked a breath between her teeth. "Oh Ffffinn," she exhaled, writhing under him. He knew exactly how to turn her on and he did it so, so well.
As his fingers stoked her flames, he sucked and nipped his way back up her neck to her ear. "I love you so much it literally takes my breath away sometimes," his husky low voice murmured against her skin as he pressed his erect length against her thigh. "Feel that? That's all you, babe... that's what you do for me."
As she wrapped her legs behind his, beckoning him toward her center, he swirled his tongue around her earlobe and murmured "Sing for me, Rach. I wanna hear you make the angels jealous."
She giggled softly. "Now?"
"Mmhmm, right now," he said, sucking hard on the pulse point beneath her ear, marking the spot as his.
Except for soft lullabies to Cam, he hadn't heard her really sing in so long; it was just unnatural for Rachel Berry and it bothered the hell out of him. He already told her he wasn't letting her dreams die, and he kept his promise to remind her every day what a star she was meant to be. He never could find the right words to explain what hearing her voice meant to him though, so he resolved to show her instead.
While Finn continued worshiping her body with his mouth, she did what he asked with hers as the lyrics began dripping from her lips like smooth molten caramel.
"Time has come again, and love is in the wind..." She slid her hands down his forearms and laced their fingers together. "Like some music in a dream, you made them all come true... oh god Finn," she moaned and bowed her hips off the bed meeting his as he slid inside her. "When you came inside of my life," their eyes connected and he sang with her, his pelvis pumping a slow steady cadence to her heart song "...Now I'm lost inside of you..."
She paused to capture his mouth in a steamy kiss. Her tongue plunged into his mouth in time with his hips that thrusted deeper into her heat. He picked up his pace with long fervent strokes, lilting her song.
"Lost in the music, and lost in your eyes," he felt her nails graze down his back as tears were beginning to pool in the corners of her eyes and he kissed each one as they started to spill over. "I could spend all of my time..."
Finn joined her singing the rest, pushing himself closer to the edge as their voices melted into that delicious harmony that sets his soul on fire. "Hearing songs you sing, feeling love you bring..." He felt her silky inner walls clench and twitter and knew she was getting close; so was he. "Darling being close to you, made all... made all my dreams come true... When you came inside my life... Now I'm lost— OH FUCK! YES FINN!" Her orgasm slammed into her with force, teasing out his as well. "Christ, Rach! I fucking love you," he grunted as he spilled into her.
. . . . .
"I wanna get drunk."
Not long after their second round of love making, they sat half naked in the kitchen (him in boxers and her in his undershirt), snacking on leftover Chinese. His shoulders shook with silent laughter and he looked at her like she had grown two heads.
"Um... really Rach? Have you forgotten the aftermath of the Rachel Berry Basement Party Extravaganza and your two-day hangover?"
"Hey! I was... I was drowning my sorrows that night. You were still mad at me then, and I-I just, I was following your advice to live a little. But mostly, I wanted to try to forget, if only just for a little while."
He frowned. "Forget what? Me?"
She eschewed that notion. "Forget how badly I'd screwed things up between us." She put a hand on the scruff of his jaw. "I could never forget you, Finn. Not even when I tried."
He turned his head to kiss the palm of her hand. "You tried?"
She nodded softly. "Hmm. Sophomore year, the rock star breakup; junior year – Quinn the sequel; then of course, summer, two years ago..."
He squeezed her hand. "I'm still sorry for that, baby. For all of that, but mostly the last one."
"I know. Hey, we're past it now. Point is, yes, I have tried to forget you sometimes, but nope. You're stuck in here and here, and just not going anywhere, ever I don't think," she said as she tapped her index finger over her heart and then against her temple.
"Good... and me neither, for the record. I couldn't forget you and don't wanna." He picked out a piece of broccoli out of his carton to feed to her with his chopsticks.
"So you really wanna get drunk, huh... Why?"
She shrugged and stabbed a water chestnut on the end of her chopstick, feeding it to him. "I don't know. I feel like I haven't had ANY kind of social life for so long, and I just wanna let loose some. But I don't wanna do it in public, just here, with you."
"What about Cam? I mean, can you do that, with breastfeeding and all?"
"Well I already drained the girls pretty good earlier, and I've pumped enough extra already to last for a day or two, not counting what's in the freezer. Even though alcohol leaves your body on its own – including breast milk – I'll just do a pump and dump to be safe. I'm pretty sure Sanny is hiding a bottle of tequila in her room."
Finn looked at his crazy girl and nodded. "Okay, Miss Berry. You find the hooch, I'll grab the shot glasses, salt and limes."
Halfway through the living room she turned back to look at him. "Finn! You know what we should do?"
"Elope?"
"Ha ha," she smirked.
"I wasn't joking, though."
"What?" She froze, eyeing him carefully to assess his sincerity.
He dug in the fridge for the limes. "Maybe not right this minute, or even tomorrow, but... why not?"
"Um. Are you being completely serious, Finn?"
He set the shot glasses and limes on the kitchen table and turned to find a cutting board and paring knife. "Rachel Barbra Berry," he exhaled. "You love me. I love you. We made a perfect baby together. We live in the same city – scratch that, the same bedroom together. So what's stopping us?"
She stood in the middle of the living room with hands on her hips staring at him, stars dancing in her eyes as she contemplated his words. "You're right Finn, everything you just said is right. I want nothing more than to be your wife. And yet, the fact that I can't just say 'okay, let's go to Vegas' right now tells me we should probably give it a little more time. Maybe that seems irrational in light of how RIGHT all you just said is..."
He chuckled at her, starting to slice the fruit. "Rach, if you're not ready, it's fine. I'll wait. As much as I am not joking, I'm also not trying to pressure you. Like, I won't be waking you up in three days with a pout and puppy dogs eyes hoping you've checked a yes/no ballot box on a piece of paper. We're not in high school anymore. . . And can I say how fucked up it feels now to be able to apply that reality to this subject today?"
She took a few steps back toward the kitchen. "Wait, are you saying you regret proposing to me last time?"
"No! No no no. I don't regret asking, it's... It's just the reasons behind it, and the timing maybe... I don't know." He could see the tell-tale signs of hurt growing in her eyes. "Baby, the very fact that it took three days and a Finchel duet for you to finally say yes should have had REG FLAGS written all over it for both of us. In fact, once we passed the 24 hour mark, I should have told you not to answer at all. You knew it was the wrong time, that saying yes wasn't the best thing for us back then. Maybe your heart and brain didn't agree with each other, but part of you knew."
"But I did say yes. And if Quinn hadn't been in that accident, we would already be married, Finn. And I could never regret becoming your wife."
He nodded, the visions of her in that beautiful dress looking like an angel danced in his memory. "Would we have lasted if we had though, do you think? Seriously, Rach. Would we have made it even THIS far? I had NO fucking clue what I was doing when we graduated. I had no direction, no self-esteem... Mom's Christopher Hudson bomb really took its toll on me, that's true, but c'mon. I was already a total mess even before that."
She moved back to the kitchen table and sat next to him again, taking his hand. "Yes, you were. And I was a narrow-minded narcissist who didn't see the tailspin you were in most of that year. I wasn't very attentive to your needs at all."
"Well, I wouldn't use those words... you were hyper-focused on your career goals – as you should have been. And you KNOW I was and still am fully in support of you and would never fault you for that; your ambition is sexy. But you had a ton of pressure to deal with, between grades, SAT's, NYADA auditions, glee and your other extracurriculars. And see, all of that tells the logical ME of today that I had no business proposing to you back then."
"You were hurt and scared, Finn. I... look, I know why you asked me. And I'm honestly not offended by anything you're saying now, because I know you're right. That's the beauty of time; it gives you hindsight. I sort of wish you'd had this much clarity back then, or better yet, that I could've seen it coming and helped you sooner. I don't think I reacted or responded well to anything. I wasn't my best ME for YOU either. So maybe you're right. Maybe even if we had gotten married it wouldn't have lasted."
"Hey I'm not saying for sure we wouldn't have lasted but now when I think about it, I don't think it would have been healthy for us. I think it would've been a rough ride and maybe eroded at the thing that makes US so special together. But the fact that we can sort of agree on that now, today, and the fact that we're still here, together, today... doesn't that tell you we're finally in the right place?"
She offered a closed smile and thought for a moment. "I think... I think we're driving around the right parking lot, we just haven't found the best spot yet." She was quiet for a moment then something changed in her expression that he couldn't read and she jumped up from the table. "Wait here a sec, be right back. Don't move!"
He chuckled as she dashed off to their bedroom and returned a few moments later to the kitchen table, placing a little black velvet box in the center of the table between them.
"Rachel, what the hell. Are you giving it back to me? Because it's yours, I don't wan–"
"NO! I'm... I'm asking you to ask me. Again."
"Why?"
"Just, please?"
Looking at her pout and puppy dog eyes pisses him off because it totally always works on him. Shit isn't fair.
He smiled, running his hand over his scruffy chin. "Okay. Rachel, love of my life, do you wanna get married? To me, that is – to be clear."
She produced a wide pearly smile. "Yes, I do wanna get married. To you, also to be clear. Someday."
She opened the box and removed the ring, laying it on the table, then pulled out the velvet coated cardboard liner that it was propped in to reveal her Finn necklace hiding underneath in the bottom of the box. She unclasped the chain and proceeded to string the ring onto the necklace, then held her hair up.
"Will you put this on me? I'll wear it around my neck for now. Maybe we should get a stronger chain than this one though, because I would certainly never want to lose my ring – or break my necklace. I love this ring by the way, Finn, did I ever tell you that? It's beautiful. Did I mention what impeccable taste you ha–"
He cut her off with a deep lingering kiss. His crazy girl and her special unique brand of insanity was some kind of catnip to him; OH GOD how he loves her!
"Baby. If you wanna wear this around your neck, or on your finger, or you wanna shove it in a sock in your underwear drawer, or carry it in your purse, it's fine with me. Can I call you my fiancée again, though?"
"Only if I can call you mine," she winked, then leaned over and kissed him soundly. "And yes, I will wear it around my neck for now, because someday isn't here quite yet."
He stood up with the chain in hand and walked behind her to fasten it around her neck. While he did, she asked "But... do you really want to elope? You don't want to have the traditional sort of wedding, you know, bells and whistles?"
He sat back down, her fingers laced through his resting on the table as he admired his name in gold returned to its rightful place.
"Whatever makes you mine the fastest is what I want. When you're ready – like REALLY ready. You never wanted bells and whistles though. You only ever wanted the small intimate thing with our family and closest friends. And honestly, we can have a party for them after, but the I do's, the marrying you part? Yeah. I think I kinda would prefer if it were just us. Maybe with our parents if it means that much to you."
She smiled her megawatt smile and crawled into his lap, placing both her hands on his stubbled cheeks. "You're so fucking adorable, do you know that? I could just eat you up," she said as she pressed her lips to his.
He squeezed her hips and leaned back to look in her eyes. "You trying to give me ideas now, woman? Because we haven't exactly christened this place properly yet and I already have a few..."
She giggled, "We will baby, I promise." Suddenly she hopped up and clapped her hands together. "But I still wanna get drunk. Let's play a game!"
He chuckled at her abrupt change of subject but went with it because, well, that's what he does and it's why he loves her so damn much. "Spin the bottle?"
"You with the jokes are batting a thousand tonight, Hudson."
"Okay. It'd be pretty pointless with just us anyway. One spin and the game would be over. How about quarter bounce Would You Rather? Get a quarter in the shot glass, ask a question. You miss, you drink and the other person gets to ask a question."
She traced the larger freckles on his left cheek and said playfully "I think you just want to get me wasted in a hurry," then leaned over and pecked his lips, disappearing in a flash, headed for San's room in search of the tequila.
"You're a lightweight anyway, Berry, so that much is sort of a given!" he called to her as he cleaned up the Chinese containers.
. . . . .
An hour later, Rachel was plastered. Finn was feeling pretty good too, having snuck in a few shots when Rachel wasn't paying attention – just to try to catch up to her a tiny bit (Puck had dubbed him the king of quarter bounce in their sophomore year at McKinley and apparently he's never lost his touch). He'd also been sipping on a beer in between the tequila and was still in better shape than Rachel, who was currently trying to take aim at the empty glass on the table again.
As the quarter bounced from tabletop to his thigh to the floor, he called out "OH, MISS AGAIN! That's like four in a row. Okay okay, wait a minute babe. You don't need to drink another. I'll take your shot and you ask my question."
She scratched her nose and pulled a face. "Ummm... but um, that's cheeeaaating, Finny! I play to WIN."
"You win anyway, Rach, I forfeit. And I really don't want you puking or passing out. Now ask me a question."
"Puking sucks. Alright. Ummm. My star necklace. What made you bring it to school and give it to me when you did, on Valentines Day?"
He sniggered at her cute drunk face. "You're supposed to ask in Would You Rather format."
"You're stalling."
"Yeah maybe," he chuckled. "But you're not playing the– whatever. Okay... did I really never tell you about that necklace?"
"Nope," she popped the 'P' for affect.
"Huh. Thought I did. Well. Uh, I guess it was sort of burning a hole in my conscience, sitting on my desk forever. Guilting me. I already had it bought and wrapped before Christmas, before.. y'know, asshole breakup number two. Ahh... I thought maybe if I got it out of my room I would somehow feel better, but the only way I could get rid of it was to give it to you, like I was supposed to. I just really wanted you to have it. "
"Did you feel better after it was gone?"
"You already know the answer to that one, Rach."
"Yeah, I do. Me neither. But... why THAT specific day? A holiday for lovers..."
"Probably because I hated the fact that we were missing another Valentine's day, another holiday that we were supposed to be together. But I was too damn stupid and stubborn to just tell you that I forgave you and take you back already."
She stuck her chin out at him and put on her best mocking smug face. "How do you know I would've taken you back, huh?"
"Seriously? Um, you were begging me to take you back – even on that day, in THAT conversation!"
"Yeah, I was. I missed you. I loved you too much."
"Do you still? Cause I do. So much it scares me sometimes, even now."
She reached over and rubbed his earlobe. "Yeah. I probably always will, too. I think it's the tether."
"I think you're right." He clasped his hand around the one she had on his ear and pulled it around to kiss. "Annnnnd I think you should take another turn. Practice makes perfect, right?"
After another bounce and flop onto the floor, Finn took her drinking glass away. "Okay my turn. You suck at this game."
Finn's bounce of course landed in the empty glass. She scowled and grinned. "Okay Miss Berry. Would you rather... record an album or appear in a blockbuster movie?"
"Why can't I do both?"
"'Cause that's not how the game works?"
"Well since I am the de facto winner, I say the answer is both."
He downed a shot anyway and chomped on a lime. "Fine. Your turn, ask a question."
"Okay... ahh... when we were in, OH! I know! When we first met in Glee, when Mr Schue told you you had to sing with us, were you scared? And then when you were singing with me that first time, did I really freak you out?"
"That's two questions, and it's not in Would You Rather format. And also you know these answers."
"You said I already won so I get to say how many questions any way I wanna ask them!"
He chuckled at her. He couldn't help it, she was an adorable drunk. "Okay. Yes, I was kinda terrified to sing, but not as terrified of singing as the idea of my mom being told there was pot in my locker."
"FINN HUDSON! You had MARY-JUANA in your locker?!"
"Aw c'mon Rach, I told you that story, how Mr Schue planted it to blackmail me into joining glee? I KNOW I told you."
"Noooo! He did what?!"
He couldn't stop laughing at her exaggerated reactions. "Seriously, I told you this!"
"Yeah you did, but I still like hearing the story," she smiled. "And I still can't believe he did that... just to make me happy. 'Cause I was gonna quit glee, you know. I kinda blackmailed him first... So I guess you have me to thank for finding me...HAHAHA!"
He chuckled at her and grabbed her arm to hold her up as she nearly fell off the chair while laughing. "Whoa babe, I think you're officially cut off for the night."
"We'll see, but don't change the um. . . SUBJECT! Which you tried to change. Part two you didn't answer... was I really scary?"
"Honestly? Yeah, but not like, in a bad way. You were just intense. You had a look in your eye that I'd never seen in a girl before. But I thought back on that over the years and I think... I think it was just your confidence and your passion for singing. And THAT scared the shit out of me. Because we were so young, but you just knew already. You knew what you loved and you weren't afraid to announce it to the whole fucking universe."
"Nah that wasn't it. I was hot for you the minute you opened your mouth. You were fucking sexy and you could sing and I was sooo drooling for you," she chortled.
He laughed at her drunken admission. "Seriously? You thought I was sexy and had the hots for me that day, huh?"
"Baby, I've had the hots for you ever since I first laid eyes on you," she said as she climbed into his lap.
"I knew you were hitting on me when we went to Carmel that first time to scope out the competition."
"Yeah I was. Was I that obvious?"
"A little."
She kissed his neck and leaned her head on his shoulder. "How about telling me... about that night you came to see me after the army. The night you snuck out on me after Callbacks. Why did you do that?"
"Aw baby... I've said I was sorry for that. And we talked about this already."
"I know. But you still never really told me WHY exactly you left. Was it 'cause you didn't know if you still loved me anymore, or 'cause you thought I didn't love you?"
"God Rach, no! No no, just. Fuck. I thought maybe I was too late and you were moving on with... y'know, him. I felt like we changed. Dammit babe, you know this shit. We already talked about all of it."
"Well you said you didn't think you were New York good and I know you were upset that I kissed a monster... of course we didn't know he was that kind of monster yet, but anyway. How could you really think I fell out of love with you or could really move on so fast? You didn't have any faith in me?"
"I think it was more about not having faith in MYSELF. Because I was an idiot. And a scared, insecure coward. I didn't know how to talk to you about it, couldn't handle what I was afraid you'd say. It was easier to walk away, hide from it. As Puck would say – correction, DID say – I stuck my head up my ass and tried to wish it away. My emotional baggage shit from senior year was still weighing me down, y'know, even after four months in Georgia."
"So would you rather... go back and re-do that night, or go back and re-do the day you put me on the train instead of marrying me."
"Rach, you're not being fair now."
"I'm sorry. I asked it like a would you rather."
His glassy eyes searched her glassy eyes and he wondered for a moment why she was bringing all this crap up now. Or at all. Was she still having doubts about them? There must be a reason she can't just say yes to getting married yet – or maybe it's just her trauma and the way she's moving past it. Dr Reyes said to expect occasional setbacks with these things.
Or maybe it's just the booze lowering the veil she normally keeps pinned tightly in place.
"I... No. I wouldn't rather either of those. They both led us here now, right? BUT... if I could find a way to go back and NOT hurt you, I would rather have done that instead. Both times."
She nodded and kissed him sweetly. "Okay, new question. Ummm... when was the first time you masturbated while thinking about me?"
Finn choked on his laughter at yet another abrupt shift in topic. "You... why would you even wanna know that?"
"'Cause I wanna know EVERYTHING, Finn... these are like, my Finnytale stories I never heard you tell before and I just wanna know them alllll, okay?"
"Well what about you? When was the first time you flicked the bean thinking of me?"
"Hey... no fair, it was my turn. I asked you first!"
"Okay, so answer me if you want me to answer you."
"I never did that."
"You're lying."
She giggled loudly. "Yeah I am."
"So when?"
"Um.. I tried the first time the night of our first kiss in the auditorium."
"Tried?"
"Well you know, I was nervous."
God he fucking loves this girl. Only SHE would be nervous with HERSELF. "Uh, okay, so when did you finally y'know, succeed?"
She took an exaggerated breath exhaling loudly, eyes looking up for the answer. "I think it was... the day you sang Jessie's Girl to me."
He couldn't help the face-splitting grin that spread across his face. "SERIOUSLY? You were dating St Jackass though?! And freezing me out!"
"I was... maybe playing hard to get a little bit. Spoonful of medicine, teaching you a lesson."
"Are you... you were purposefully being a TEASE?"
"Not a tease per se, no... just. I wasn't ready to trust you like that again."
He nodded. "That's fair I suppose."
"Your turn to answer now!"
"Okay fine. But um, how do you know I ever even did that at all?"
Her head tilted and she looked at him with narrowed eyes until he relented.
"Right. It was the first time you wore that one pink skirt with the white knee socks to glee. The really short one that I liked so much. It had like, gold buttons or something on the waistband and I wanted to touch them all the time. And it really showed off your legs... Mmmm," he breathed as he nibbled her neck and slid his hand along her thigh.
"You like my legs that much? Really?"
"Oh my god baby, you have no idea. I mean, every part of you is sexy as hell, but your legs, and your perfect round ass... I'm lucky Mom didn't say anything because I must've tripled our water bill at home between all the cold showers, extra laundry, and those long showers I used to take on days when you sang a solo in glee."
"Did you do that stuff over Quinn, too?"
Yeah, he's pretty sure her veil is like, obliterated in the haze of Jose Cuervo right now. High school Rachel is making an appearance and it sorta sucks.
"Babe, I was a teenage boy. Boobs in general made those things happen. The redhead babe in a toothpaste commercial did it for me a couple of times. But to do that stuff on purpose, like, to WANT to do it, it was only with you on my mind. Put it this way, I could think about Quinn and not need to find a box of tissues or run to the shower... but if I thought about you, it was a foregone conclusion how things were gonna play out."
SHe squirmed in his lap and could feel him getting hard again. "Okay. I think we're done playing games out here. Time for round three." She whispered in his ear, "And um, I'm pretty sure I might still have that skirt and some white knee socks tucked away in my closet." His eyes popped and he scooped her up bridal style and headed for their bedroom.
. . . . .
"KURT! Welcome back, we missed you so so much!" Rachel said as she flung herself at her best friend. Finn waited patiently to greet his brother and properly introduce him to his nephew before they headed to the baggage claim area.
"Diva! It's so great to see you in the flesh! And I'm so happy to see your sense of fashion has improved since I was here last. But we'll discuss your current style choices later." Kurt turned to Finn, who held Cam in one arm while opening the other for a hug.
"Hey bro, welcome home!" As the brothers embraced in a careful hug, Kurt couldn't take his eyes off Cam.
"It's nice to be back, but oh my Gaga, look at this little man! Hello Camden, it's so nice to finally meet you in person! I'm your Uncle Kurt. My gosh, but you look just like your mother," he smiled as he turned to Rachel who wore a proud smile watching all her boys reunited.
"Yes, he's mostly Berry, but I've started to see his dimples popping out lately, and he's starting to develop a few freckles and his daddy's crooked smile that I love so much," Rachel beamed.
"And he seems to like the toy drum I got him. We might have another drummer in the family one day," Finn added. "You wanna hold him, dude?"
"Abolutement! Hand over my handsome nephew! You need to go fetch my bags anyway, so I'll take this little guy and we'll get better acquainted. We have some bonding to catch up on." Finn chuckled and rolled his eyes as he handed his son over to his brother.
. . . . .
They stopped back at the apartment and gave Kurt time to settle into Santana's room. She had agreed to stay at Dani's for a few nights while Kurt was in town. Once he was settled, they headed out to dinner at a new Bistro that had just opened around the corner from them.
With Burt and Carole's wedding anniversary coming up the following week, Kurt had decided it was a good time to come home for a while. The trio made travel plans to fly back to Lima two days before the anniversary party, which would only consist of the five of them plus Rachel's dads.
"So tell me all the dish I've missed out on. Have you guys kept up with our former glee-mates? I've only touched base with Cedes a little bit while I've been away."
Finn spoke up while Rachel fed Cam in between eating her own mushroom risotto. "Uh, yeah a little bit. Um, well you already know San is here, still bartending and dating a girl named Dani. Not sure how serious that is, but Dani's pretty cool and Tana seems to like her. And you know Puck's still here, working with me at Ralph's. But he mentioned something about needing a change soon. I'm not too sure what that means... He won't admit it yet, but I think he's secretly been seeing Quinn."
Rachel chimed in "You think so too? I got that impression the last few times I spoke to her on the phone, like she was hiding something – or someone."
Finn nodded. "Yeah well, I always felt like they'd end up together after Beth, so... who knows with those two? They might be more stubborn than us." Finn winked at her and she nodded. "I just know he's been sneaking off for weekends and not being real clear about where he's going.
"Anyway, uh, I heard from Mike a couple weeks ago. His dance studio in Chicago is doing really well, and he said something about Mr Schue inviting him to help with choreography for a 'back to school' glee booty camp he's putting together right before school starts. Tina's only three months into her pregnancy, and she wanted to come home and visit her family too, so I guess they'll be in town while we're there."
"Oh that's great! I'm so happy to hear Chang Squared made it work after all this time! I had no idea Tina was pregnant, though it's been a few months since I spoke to Cedes last. I hope we get a chance to see them while we're in town. As for Quinn and Puck, I think you're both right; they're sort of each other's destiny whether they've been willing or ready to admit that fact or not."
"Yeah. What about you and Blaine? Things still going well with the long-distance romance thing?" Finn asked.
"Blaine is doing very well. He's been very focused on earning his law degree, as you know. Stanford has been great for him so far, but he's been a little homesick too. He's flown out to see me twice in Paris and I went to see him once on campus over his birthday. We're just, putting in the work necessary to keep it going. It's not easy, but we're getting through it. You two should certainly be able to relate."
Rachel offered a small smile and took Finn's hand, squeezing it gently. "I wish we'd have worked harder at the long-distance thing from the start, but yes, we've certainly had our fair share of elbow grease, too. I'm really happy that you and Blaine are trying to make this work. You're so good for each other."
"Yeah man, Blaine's already like family, so I really hope you two go the distance. So when do you think you'll see him again?" Finn asked innocently as Rachel tried to hide her knowing smile.
"Well, he was trying to get time away from his summer internship to come visit while I'm back here in the states, but I hadn't heard back from him before my flight, so I'm not sure if he was able to make arrangements to come out or not."
"Sounds like kind of jerk leaving you hanging like that." Rachel and Finn wore matching ear-to-ear smiles as a familiar voice came from behind Kurt.
Kurt's expression of shock was priceless as he immediately jumped up from his seat. "Blaine?! Oh my god what are you doing here?!"
The two men embraced and greeted each other with a proper kiss that seemed to be heating up quickly. "Ahem," Finn cleared his throat after a LONG few seconds. "Guys, we're uh, in the middle of a restaurant, y'know having dinner here... if me and Rach did that in public you'd be screaming about your burned eyes or some crap."
"Hush Finn, let them have their moment. They missed each other. I'd behave the exact same way if I hadn't seen you in months either," Rachel gently scolded with a warm smile.
Finn chuckled and kissed her on the cheek. "Babe, you behaved like that after just a couple hours when I got back from the police station."
Once the two men finally came up for air they brought an additional chair for Blaine to join them. Kurt animatedly clapped and waved his hands as he talked. "Okay, well, now that so many of us are back together and are here in the same city, I think we should have a celebration slash glee-reunion before we head back to Lima. And because I've traveled here all the way from Europe, I get to choose, and I say we hit a karaoke club tomorrow night!"
Rachel squirmed in her seat uncomfortably, which didn't go unnoticed by Finn. "Babe? You okay?"
"Yes I uh... I just think I'll need to skip the celebration and stay home with Cam. But you all should definitely go."
"Rach, you love karaoke."
"I know, but well, someone needs to be home with Cam. And you haven't seen your brother in so long, just, you guys should go out and have fun."
"Well if you don't go I'm not going," Finn said resolutely.
"Finn, how can I go? Who would watch Cam?"
"Ralph and his wife have raised three kids and have four grandkids already. I'm sure I could get them to babysit for a few hours at least."
"Well... "
"Come on Diva! You HAVE to join us!" Blaine pleaded. "It wouldn't be the same without you giving us a master-class performance of Barbra!"
Finn knew Rachel's real hesitation had nothing to do with childcare arrangements. She was still giving resistance about reviving her Broadway dreams, although he'd been feeling her resolve teetering more and more as time passed. At the very least, putting her back on a stage for a song or two – even if only in a dingy, crowded karaoke bar – could be a first step to her re-awakening. "Baby, just say yes. Please? For me?"
With that sweet pleading voice and his trademark half smile, she knew there was no way she could say no – even if part of her was a little terrified to perform in public again.
. . . . .
Having nearly three-quarters of a National Championship Show Choir team in a karaoke bar meant sort of turning the night into a mini Glee club concert. They'd taken over so many of the slots that virtually nobody else in the bar got to sing that night.
One of the most shocking moments at the start of the evening was when a certain willowy blonde took the stage dragging a certain mohawked boy in tow for a surprise duet of 'Just Give me a Reason'. No one in their group even knew Quinn Fabray was taking the train down from Connecticut – at least, no one other than Puck perhaps?
Finn had taken the liberty of signing Rachel up for three songs. He told her it was her choice to perform solos or duets, that he'd sing with her if she wanted.
At first she objected to singing at all, not feeling ready to face a live audience after all this time away from the stage. But once Santana got up and slayed her reprisal of 'Valerie', Rachel's competitive claws resurfaced and she took on her first solo of the night, dedicated. of course, to her Finn.
What the bar didn't know was they were in store for quite the treat when Rachel delivered the most jaw-dropping rendition of Andrew Lloyd Webber's 'Memory' since CATS had closed from Broadway.
Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can dream of the old days, life was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
Finn sat mesmerized and didn't even care about the tears streaming from the corners of his eyes. The lyrics were sort of shredding him and he felt like she was baring her soul to an unknowing audience. But there she was, on that stage – no matter how small – OWNING it.
She shone brighter than the brightest sun, her energy reaching out like an invisible lasso wrangling in every ear, commanding the full attention of even the drunkest bar patrons. Not that he even noticed any of that; he was far too spellbound watching her do what she was put on this earth to do. It wasn't long until Tana and Puck were throwing shade at him for the tears dribbling down to his chin, but he didn't even notice their jabs, too lost in the space between his ears and her voice.
Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life and I mustn't give in
When the dawn comes, tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin
Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale, cold smell of morning
A street lamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning
By the time Rachel got to the crescendo of the final chorus there was no movement in the bar. Even the waitress and bartenders stood stock still, completely entranced. Calling it a command performance was quite the understatement.
Touch me, it's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory of my days in the sun
Rachel very pointedly sought out Finn's eyes and kept them locked with hers for the final bars of the song.
If you touch me, you'll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day has begun
As the close of her final run in the song faded to quiet, so did the entire bar. Five seconds of stunned silence later, the thunderous roar of applause, whistles, and calls for encores filled the small space and deafened every patron in the club that night.
Finn stood up along with the rest of the bar clapping til his hands burned, beaming with pride at his shining beacon who was being asked for autographs on her way back to their table. He was thrilled to see everyone reacting to what he already knew: she was MAGIC.
Rachel felt that fire stirring in her belly at the reception she'd received. When she finally reached the other end of her tether she jumped into his waiting arms. "You were fucking phenomenal baby, better than ever!" He said in her ear.
With the help of a little liquid courage, she even looked forward to her next time at the mic – especially if it'd end with THAT kind of kiss from Finn again.
Just about no one wanted to follow up Rachel's show-stopping mic-dropping performance and the stage stayed empty for a brief period until some middle-aged husband and wife team tried to pull off a drunken version of 'Summer Nights' from Grease.
Finn initially laughed internally, thinking how much better he and Rachel would've sounded on that song, until a sadness washed over him remembering the role that musical played in the Finchel timeline. He was suddenly having flashbacks of a speech about four kinds of crying and feeling a sharp stab of regret for laying down a no-contact demand.
Just as he was mentally kicking himself for hurting her again in yet another McKinley hallway scuffle, it seemed Rachel was thinking about the same thing, since she immediately pulled him down for a searing kiss. She whispered assurances in his ear about how happy she was to be with him now and how much she loved him. Once she saw the sparkle return to his eyes, she turned back to their group of friends and launched into a very serious critique of the awful off-key inebriated performers on stage.
Their group were all shocked to see Brittany arrive and immediately embrace Santana, taking a seat between her and Dani. That was super weird, right? Seemed maybe Quinn and Puck weren't the only ones keeping secrets in their little band of Gleeks.
Over the next hour, Kurt and Blaine performed several times, including their Depeche Mode duet, and everyone in their party (except Finn and Rachel, who were otherwise occupied with each other's lips) got the room jumping with 'Last Friday Night'.
Puck had the whole room singing along with 'Sweet Caroline' and The Unholy Trinity couldn't resist doing Britney Spears 'Toxic' (okay, maybe it was more like Puck couldn't let them refuse to do it).
When it was Finn's turn again, he was a little too buzzed and too bursting at the seams in love with the tiny girl next to him to not let it spill out all over a captive audience.
"Okay I know this is just a karaoke bar and stuff, but I hope you all don't mind if I take just a minute to share something with you."
Puck looked at Rachel and asked "What the hell is he doing?"
Rachel didn't respond other than a soft giggle and shrug, eyes too glued to Finn to even really hear what Puck had said. Kurt however, answered with "I have no idea, it is Finn after all... so just SHHH, let's listen and find out!"
"When I was a mere boy of sixteen, if you can believe it, I was kind of a jerk." The audience reacted with some laughter and a heckler who called out 'maybe you still are'. "Hey I'm sure I still am sometimes," Finn chuckled back at the guy.
"Anyway. Back in those days, I gave into peer pressure a lot. I cared more about what everyone else thought of me than what I really thought of myself." He took on a more serious tone and looked out into the crowd to find those chocolate brown eyes. "I found myself doing things that I didn't like just to please others, and got to a point eventually where I didn't really like myself that much at all. But that was before HER." A few ooo's and aww's could be heard from several gushing ladies in the room, and many heads were starting to turn, scanning the room to follow Finn's eyes.
"Yes, I know it's pretty shocking to imagine, but yeah. It took a girl. A tiny little scrapper of a fifteen year old girl to set me straight. She blew into my world like a friggin' hurricane and knocked me on my ass. It wasn't just her intensity or her confidence or her determination – all those things were what made me pay attention – along with her mighty sexy legs and eyes I could get lost in forever.
"But what made me really fall hard for her – and I mean like, climb to the top of the Empire State Building and leap headfirst FALL – was the first time I heard her sing. She doesn't know this, but that actually happened before we ever even officially met. I happened to hear her singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow in our school choir room and it was like I had an out of body experience. The sweetest sound I ever heard on earth... Magical. It still is... You should know what I mean, now that you all got to hear her sing here tonight – you got a little taste of that magic. Aren't you lucky?"
While Finn moved to perch himself on a stool on stage, there were some gasps and a lot of knowing smiles looking around seeking out Rachel's spot in the bar once the crowd began piecing together who Finn was talking about.
"I eventually got the chance to meet her and actually sing with her – yeah, can you imagine needing to find the balls to do that? And I was only a 16 year old jerky kid who had to pull it off SOBER! Y'know, she also doesn't know, she's the reason I didn't take detention instead of joining that glee club..." Finn winked in her direction when he noticed her hands fly up to her mouth in surprise. "Long story there, but anyway...
"Over the years, that tiny little powder keg stole my heart and actually accepted mine in return. She lit a fuse in me to man up, get my clueless shit together, and uh, well it might've taken a while, but it worked. I can't say enough how much she's made my life better... because she's made me a better person just for knowing her. Even though I've probably broken her heart more times than I count over the years, and yeah she's broken mine a few times, too... but the good news is, we always help each other put the pieces back together again.
"So this song is for my baby. She's sitting out there blushing and smiling like the sun right now. You can't miss her, because when you see her million dollar smile, you just have to smile too, and you'll know you just witnessed something special. By the way, you're all gonna know her name one day on Broadway; she's gonna be a superstar, so write this date down on your calendars. Anyway. For my soulmate, my star, my Rachel... I love you, girl. This is for you."
She's got a way about her
I don't know what it is, but I know that I can't live without her
She's got a way of pleasin'
I don't know what it is, but there doesn't have to be a reason, anyway
She's got a smile that heals me
I don't know why it is, but I have to laugh when she reveals me
She's got a way of talkin'
I don't know what it is, but it lifts me up when we are walkin' anywhere
She comes to me when I'm feelin' down, inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around
She's got a way of showin' how I make her feel
And I find the strength to keep on goin'
She's got a light around her, and everywhere she goes
A million dreams of love surround her everywhere
She comes to me when I'm feelin' down, inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around
She's got a smile that heals me
I don't know why it is, but I have to laugh when she reveals me
She's got a way about her
I don't know what it is, but I know that I can't live without her anyway
. . . . .
Finn wrapped an arm around Rachel's shoulders. He could tell she was just on the verge of being very tipsy, but she'd been somewhat subdued since he got off the stage. "Are you having fun babe? You glad you came?"
"I am, Finn. This is wonderful, but... I still can't believe you said all that stuff to the whole bar."
"Hey, I'm proud of my girl. I know how lucky I am, and I wanted all these drunk fuckers to know it, too; they should feel privileged for gettin' this pre-fame private show from you."
She giggled at him with obvious stars shining in her eyes that were only for him (and why shouldn't they be – he'd put them there after all). "You're pretty amazing, Mr. Hudson. I think I'll keep you around a while," she teased as she pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek.
It was coming up on 10:00 PM and Finn and Rachel had promised Ralph they'd pick up Cam by eleven. Before they left, she made a final trip to the stage for the night.
Rachel stepped up to the microphone but had no intention of making her final performance a solo. "Okay one more for the road, then we have somewhere we need to be... where's my Finn? Finny, get up here I need you!"
The crowd laughed and cheered, having already been blown away by Finn's rendition of the Otis Redding classic A Little Tenderness (which had earned him a ten minute makeout session with Rachel immediately afterward out in the alley).
Finn gulped down the last of his beer then raced up to be with his girl, grabbing a mic and her hand once he got there. As he looked at the song she had cued up, he was a little shocked at her selection. It actually kinda made his heart clench in his chest as some really painful memories flashed behind his glassy eyes.
She just beamed an endearing smile at him and said "It's a song that needs redemption, don't you think?" He pulled a crooked smile and stared at her for a moment before nodding once as the music started. He hoped he was able to keep the growing lump in his throat at bay.
So many things to do and say
But I can't seem to find the way, but I wanna know how
I know I'm meant for something else
But first I gotta find myself, but I don't know how
Oh, why do I reach for the stars
When I don't have wings to carry me that far?
She was right; they'd moved so far past that point of heartache from years ago. It was finally time to breathe new life into this song, just like they'd breathed new life into themselves as a couple. Their paths had finally merged and they were traveling on the same road together; like their song said, right down the line it's been, well, you know.
He was never going to lose sight of that fact – or her – ever again. He'd told her they were endgame; it was a sudden sobering realization that they were already living it.
I gotta have roots before branches
To know who I am before I know who I wanna be
And faith to take chances, to live like I see
A place in this world for me
Sometimes I don't wanna feel (Sometimes I don't wanna feel)
And forget the pain is real (And forget the pain is real)
Put my head in the clouds (Oh, ooh)
Oh, I start to run and then I fall (Start to run and then I fall)
Thinking I can't get it all (Thinking I can't get it all)
Without my feet on the ground (Oh, ooh)
There's always a seed before there's a rose
The more that it rains, the more I will grow
He marveled at this beautiful girl gripping his hand on stage next to him. She had the strength and courage to move forward through some of the worst, most unthinkable shit life could throw at her, the grace to forgive him for all his past fuck-ups, and the trust in the strength of their bond together to keep forging ahead. He couldn't love her more than he did in that moment while their harmonies danced and soared together, blending as perfectly as ever.
I gotta have roots before branches to know who I am
Before I know who I wanna be
And faith to take chances to live like I see
A place in this world for me
By the last note of the song, Finn and Rachel were standing in a tight embrace, oblivious to their surroundings. She whispered in his ear, "Thank you for being my roots, Finn. I'll never let the seeds die – especially not while my gardener is tending them so well. I promise."
He pulled up a half smile, dipped her back and laid a toe-curling kiss on her from the stage, feeling all the same magnitude of that moment as he did four years ago on a different stage in a theater in this very city.
"I can't wait for your branches to spread out and blossom, baby. And me and Cam will be there, either enjoying the view from the treehouse up top or swinging from the tire swing tied to one of them."
. . . . .
"What do you mean you found a new apartment? Sanny, we need you here! We love you and don't want you to go!"
"Listen, as much as I know you enjoy the perks of having a FREE live-in nanny, and as much as I'll miss seeing mi pequeño muslo de pollo everyday, you three need a chance to be a real family, ALONE together. Daddy Longlegs missed out on too much of the beginning of Cam's life – and we both know he's chomping at the bit to be a full time dad. So you won't need me anymore anyway."
"Sanny, you know I'll always want you in my life, and Cam's. We WILL need you at least sometimes."
"I know you will, and I'll be there anytime. Well, anytime according to my schedule. I'll be kind of busy now, too... I decided to try my hand at school for forensic investigation. I think I could be a good CSI Detective – certainly better than those idiotas that work there now."
"Oh my gosh, San! That's wonderful! Yeah, I think that'd be a great career path for you!"
"Well I can't be a bartender forever – nice as the perks might be. And also, my new roomie will help me with the bills so..."
"New roomie?"
"Yeah... I um. I reconnected with Britt. That's why she's in town... We're gonna try again. She's moving in with me."
Rachel gasped with excitement. "That's incredible San! Oh I'm so happy for you both– but wait, what about Dani?"
"We talked, we're gonna stay friends. Dani knew from the beginning – probably before I knew; it's always been Britt. Maybe it'll always be Britt."
With a warm watery smile and tears glistening in her eyes, Rachel practically sang "She's your Finn."
"Don't ever insult her like that again, Hobbit."
Pulling her into a tight hug, Rachel insisted "Fight it all you want San, you know you love Finn and we love you. And we love Britt... I'm just so overjoyed!"
"UGH okay, enough with the hugging already! So you see, I have a life to get living, but you know I'll be there for you guys anytime you need me. Meantime, just, let Lurch be the daddy and take care of you two now. College must have done wonders for his attention span. I trained him pretty well, and he seems to be thoroughly housebroken. Just make sure you scratch his belly and feed him like four times a day and you'll be fine. I'll tell you throw him a bone once in a while but you already—"
"Ha ha. Okay San, I get it, now leave Finn alone."
"Fine. But hey seriously, he's got my number on speed dial just in case. I know this because he took great pride in trying to add me as number 666, but it wouldn't do triple digits, so I'm 66 instead."
"Of course you are. You two are ridiculous sometimes. He loves you like a sister, you know."
"Sure he does, what's not to love? Okay, I'ma get moving, I have some unpacking to do. Plus, I already KNOW you two wanna bang it out on like, every room and flat surface of this apartment with your disgusting Finchel sex. Just a word to the wise, the bottom of the shower gets mighty slippery, so I'd advise skipping the cocoa butter body wash in there. And also, that granite counter in the kitchen is way colder than you think."
"SANTANA! I can't believe you used our kitchen counter for that! Anyway I'm already quite aware how cold that counter top is."
"Wanky! See, I always knew you'd be back in the saddle right quick once Lassie came home. Okay, I gotta bolt. And by the way I still get one night a week custody of my handsome little drumstick, so you better not let Lurch mess up his schedule too much. Hasta luego, mami!"
. . . . .
Two days after karaoke, they were packing for their long weekend trip back to Lima for Burt and Carole's anniversary party.
"Finn, I've been thinking. While I know I'm still not ready to go back to school, it certainly did feel good to be on a stage in front of an audience again – even if it was just a crummy karaoke bar and I was a little rusty."
"That's what you call RUSTY? You think that performance of Memories was sub-par? Geez Rach. I don't think it's your voice, I think it's your ears. Maybe we should see a hearing doctor and get you checked out," he chuckled.
"You're very funny, Finn. But your opinion is also quite biased – don't even try to deny it. And my ears are perfectly fine, but I can feel the tightness in my vocal cords. So I think I'm going to start taking voice lessons again."
His face lit up as if she'd just said she got him tickets behind home plate to the World Series. "Really baby? Oh god Rach, that's great! I mean, not that I think you're the least bit rusty – even if my opinion IS biased, that doesn't mean it's incorrect. But if it gets you one step closer to performing again then I say go for it."
"I appreciate your unconditional support, honey. And um, there's something else... A friend of a friend at NYADA is the Director at a new Children's Theatre that opens in a few months. They are putting on a production of Beauty and the Beast as part of their grand opening to entice kids to join their workshop programs. They um. They want me to be their Belle."
"Holy shit Rachel! That's AWESOME news, babe! You have to do it. You're gonna say yes, right?"
"Well... I'm not one-hundred percent sure. I think I want to, but I'm scared, Finn. What if I can't handle it anymore? What if I have setbacks? The bad dreams have finally mostly stopped, and I'm just starting to feel normal again, for lack of a better word. I'm feeling good about you and me, and my role as a mother and I cannot possibly jeopardize our family life. I refuse to sacrifice our happiness together."
"Hey, look at me. You won't. I know it's been a while since you've been around the theater and a lot of industry people. I know you're worried you've lost your edge or your star power. I just need you to believe what I already know: you haven't. Your Rachel-Berry-Muchness is still very much alive and well, and I think it's just itching to get out and show the world again."
"But is it even worth it, being such a myopically small world and mostly only for an audience of kids?"
"Of course! I mean, that could be a good thing, right? It's practically no pressure; not like school where grades and competition will stress you out. Definitely not like the demands of Broadway either. It's a good starting point to test the waters. Rachel, it's perfect."
"I guess you're right. It is only a small playhouse with around 200 seats."
"That sounds like exactly the right starting point. You can do this Rach, I know you can."
"I'd probably have to cut back more hours at the diner. Maybe even quit altogether."
"Great. I've hated you working there anyway. I have enough in savings and my job pays enough to keep us going for a while. I can take care of us, Rach. You need to do this, for you. And if it gets too much, then you'll just step back from it, and try again when you're ready."
"You really believe in me that much, Finn? You really think I'm ready to handle this?"
"I know you can. I've seen you do the damn near impossible. Hell, just getting to where you are right now, getting past all that trauma, it's nothing short of miraculous. And if you can get through all that shit, you can handle singing No Matter What to a bunch of little kids and their parents. Me and Cam will be in the front row cheering mommy on, too."
"I love you so much, Finn Christopher Hudson. You are seriously the best, do you know that?"
"I do what I can," he smirked as he leaned in to kiss her. "So does that mean you'll do it?"
"Yes, I'll do it. That is, I'll try at least."
"I'm so proud of you, Rach. You're gonna be amazing."
"I suppose we shall see..."
TBC...
::
A/N - ONE CHAPTER TO GO – THE BIG COURTROOM FINALE IS COMING! And at this point, yes, I'm fairly certain there will be an epilogue.
I should probably apologize to the entire spanish speaking community – i know very very pequeño español, so Santana's flare is usually coming from Mr Google translator. Take it up with Larry Page if there are mistakes... I do know there sb some basic principals of masculine vs feminine parts of speech, but i know more about francais in that respect so... I tried. =) and if you use the translator and are still confused drop me a PM and I'll furnish the english for whatever Sanny was supposed to be saying.
*alien face-sucker refers to Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Prometheus, and basically any movie by Ridley Scott related to SPACE and/or starring Sigourney Weaver.
SONG CREDITS:
{{hey it was a KARAOKE chapter; you had to expect this list! =) see also, my YT channel She Don't Fade Playlist!}}
'Lost Inside Of You' - originally by Barbra Streisand & Kris Kristofferson [OST A Star is Born] (as perf. by Rachel & Finn in bed)
'Just Give Me A Reason' - originally by P!nk & Nate Masse (as perf. By Quinn & Puck, in reference only)
'Valerie' - originally by Amy Winehouse (as perf. By Santana, in reference only)
'Memory' - from the musical CATS (as perf. By Rachel) - composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber & lyrics by Trevor Nunn based on poems by T. S. Eliot.
'Summer Nights' - originally by John Travolta & Olivia Newton John [OST Grease] (as perf. By drunk bar patrons, in reference only)
'Just Can't Get Enough' - originally by Depeche Mode (as perf. By Kurt & Blaine, in reference only)
'Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)' originally by Katy Perry (as perf. By Blaine & Glee cast, in reference only)
'Sweet Caroline' - originally by Neil Diamond (as perf. By Puck, in reference only)
'Toxic' - originally by Britney Spears (as perf. By Quinn, Santana & Brittany, in reference only)
'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' - originally by Judy Garland (Rachel, in reference only)
'She's Got A Way' - originally by Billy Joel (as perf by Finn)
'Try a Little Tenderness' - originally by Otis Redding (Finn, in reference only)
'Roots Before Branches' - originally by Room For Two (as perf. by Rachel & Finn)