A/N - Firstly, I'm sorry for the delay in updates! I usually update every 1-2 days but I was so caught up with life that it's been about a week!
This chapter is also split into two so there are now three more chapters left after this one (21 in total), I really don't want this story to end!
Constance Hardbroom was the first person to notice.
She had noticed it all the way back in the first year, she had noticed it every year since.
She had noticed it when Ethel turned Mildred into a frog.
Because Mildred looked heartbroken at the betrayal.
She had noticed it at Rowan Webb's Riverside Retreat.
Because Ethel was choked with guilt after realising she could have hurt her.
She had noticed it during the school pantomime.
Because Ethel tried to sabotage Mildred, but when Constance tried to scold her, the girl couldn't take her eyes off her enemy in that dress.
And she had noticed every cruel trick, every side comment, every petty feud between them.
But also how they both shot sidewards glances at each other in her classroom, when the other wasn't looking. Constance was always watching them, and she always noticed.
Finally though, she had noticed it more than ever over the last few months. Ethel had helped Mildred save her life, but now Ethel was ignoring Mildred and Mildred was ignoring Ethel. Both girls looked entirely unhappy despite the end of their bickering, to the point where Constance could not deny it deny it any longer as the months passed her by.
In fact, the winter term had passed in the blink of an eye, with all her days blending into one endless and suffocating loop following Miss Ravenscroft's arrest. After Constance's argument with Amelia, life seemed to carry on as normal and she soon returned to her full teaching duties, despite not feeling normal herself. In all honesty, Constance really struggled throughout the winter months, but she talked to people about it this time, and realised she wasn't as alone as she thought she was. Aside from almost hexing Amelia into next week at the suggestion of therapy for post traumatic stress disorder, and a random panic attack in front of Mildred, many cuddles and forehead kisses later, Constance was moving forwards on the whole, rather than backwards, which gave her time to observe other people once more.
Deep in thought, Constance was currently wrapped in Mildred's favourite emerald cardigan as she toyed with the fraying sleeves while her mind wandered over to the girl. She had given her this garment as an attempt to comfort Constance after a particularly tiring day in November, but on that day, Constance had also realised that Mildred was looking subdued as she reflected back on their conversation, hardly surprised to see Mildred's reaction when finally questioned her:
"I want you to have it, really, I do. I know it's my favourite cardigan but you need the comfort more than me right now" Mildred pleaded, throwing the cardigan over Constance's head and shoulders until she reluctantly wrapped herself in it. She hated to admit it, but she had hardly taken it off since - it made her feel safe.
"You're a good girl, Mildred" Constance whispered softly, brushing her fringe from her eyes.
"And that's why you love me!" Mildred grinned as she brushed some stray hairs from Tabby off the jumper.
"Yes, well there's no denying that my dear, everyone you meet seems to feel that way about you" Constance chuckled. However, Mildred went silent as an unusual empty gaze clouded her vision. Constance had picked up on it a while ago, so she decided to ask her about it. "Mildred, is something wrong? You've been awfully quiet for the last month or so in my classes. You can talk to me about anything you know. I'll always be here for whatever you need, angel."
Angel. God, she called her that almost every day now. It was a joke at first for saving her life, but now she found herself really meaning it.
"I'm fine...really, I am" Mildred mumbled, looking down at Constance's boots to avoid her classic 'you-cannot-fool-me-girl' look. "Something to do with Ethel is bothering me...I think I hurt her feelings...just stupid school girl stuff, that's all."
"Nothing is too stupid, not to me, Mildred. If it hurts you, it hurts you, and that's okay" Constance reassured her gently, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Relationships are complicated, especially at your age, believe me, I know. Be a little kinder to yourself."
Constance's kind words forced Mildred to think about Ethel, the reality of the situation overwhelming her once again. She stopped, feeling her legs grow weak beneath her as tears began to well up in her eyes, blurring her vision. She tried to steady herself, to take a deep breath, but the flood of emotions was too strong. With a sob, she felt her knees give way, and she began to collapse to the floor.
Before she could hit the cold, unforgiving stone, strong arms wrapped around her waist. Constance reacted instantly, sensing her distress. She caught Mildred just in time, her grip firm yet gentle. "Mildred!" Constance's voice was filled with concern and urgency. "Oh, sweetheart, what's wrong?"
"She - she wont even talk to me...and no matter what I do...I try and pretend that it doesn't bother me but it does..." Mildred sobbed, her voice breaking with every word. "I just feel like I'm going crazy, Con...and I wish I was better for her, but I also don't want to go back to waking up every morning wishing that I was somebody else."
Carefully, Constance lowered Mildred to the ground, sitting down beside her. She held Mildred close, wrapping her arms around the trembling girl. Mildred's sobs intensified as she clung to Constance, the floodgates of her emotions fully opened.
"It's alright, Mil. I've got you," Constance whispered, her voice soothing and calm. She began to rock Mildred gently back and forth, her hand stroking the girl's hair in a comforting rhythm. "I will tell you this again and again. You are enough, so incredibly enough, and you do not have to change for anyone."
Mildred buried her face in Constance's shoulder, her tears soaking into the fabric of her robes. The warmth and security of Constance's embrace were a stark contrast to the cold emptiness she felt inside, so she let herself be held, her body shaking with the force of her sobs.
"You are not alone, Mildred. I'm here with you. It's going to be okay." Constance continued to rock her, murmuring soft words of comfort. "And despite everything, I know Ethel cares about you, more than you think."
"I know she cares...she cares too much and that's the problem" Mildred trembled as she slumped against Constance's chest, exhausted from her outburst. "I...I don't know how to feel about what she feels...if you get what I mean? I don't know who I am or what I'm feeling towards her...or even if those feelings are okay to have."
Constance didn't really understand what Mildred was trying to say, but she did her best to reassure her despite the child skirting around her questions. "Look at me" she began, lifting Mildred's chin with her fingers to meet her gaze as she brushed away the tears. "I hope you know that I will always accept you, Mildred. No matter who you care for or what you do, so long as I do not think you're in danger, I'll support you for as long as I live. Nothing can take away my love for you, I promise."
"I-I know. I'm so lucky to have you, Con" Mildred smiled sadly, before her sobs became quieter, her breathing more even. She felt the tension in her body begin to ease, replaced by a profound sense of relief and exhaustion, before she pulled away from the other woman. "I think I want to be alone now if that's okay. I'll come and see you tomorrow, love you."
"Of course it's okay, you know where I am if you need me. I love you more." Constance replied, sighing deeply as Mildred left her alone once more. "Goodnight, Mil..."
However, that was the last she had ever heard about Ethel Hallow or Mildred's own identity, and it irritated her because something was still, indefinitely wrong. So, when Christmas finally came to Cackle's Academy, Constance decided to do something about it.
On Christmas Eve, the air was thick with the aroma of mulled wine, spiced cookies, and pine within the Great Hall. The castle glowed with festive decorations, and the usual stern atmosphere was softened by the twinkling lights and cheerful laughter echoing through the halls.
Constance stood by the entrance of the dining hall, still in Mildred's cardigan, watching her students mingle and enjoy the festivities. The entire fifth year had stayed behind for the holidays to study for their WHC mock exams after Christmas, which was the usual procedure. However, an unusual amount of lower years had also decided to stay behind, which was why Constance secretly smiled at the clumsy first years carrying up steaming mince pies from the kitchens, alongside hot milk and warm coca to settle everyone for the main event tomorrow - the Christmas Feast.
As she observed them from the door at present, she had noticed a peculiar tension between the girls tonight. Mildred, usually so carefree and spirited, seemed unusually reserved around Ethel, casting furtive glances her way when she thought no one was looking. Ethel, for her part, seemed to be hovering near Mildred more often than not, her usual haughty demeanor softened as she looked anxious and uncomfortable.
Constance's sharp eyes missed nothing, and she had a suspicion about what was going on. She had known for a long time, and tonight, she decided to take matters into her own hands, sick of seeing Mildred so subdued. Eventually, she approached the girl, who was lingering near the punch bowl, looking a little lost in thought.
"Mildred," Constance said, her voice gentle but firm as she placed an arm around her shoulder, "I need your help with something."
Mildred looked up, surprised to see Constance addressing her directly. She thought she would be hiding away in her bedroom staring solemnly into the fireplace. She knew her guardian found Christmas hard given her past, and she had planned on leaving her alone until later, where she knew she'd finally cave in and accept a cuddle from her. "Of course, is everything okay?"
"I need you to come with me to my office. There's a matter that requires your attention," Constance replied, her tone leaving no room for argument, before she winked. "Deputy headmistress and head girl duties, Mildred!"
Mildred followed Constance, her curiosity piqued as she smiled at Constance in her cardigan with her long dark hair flowing freely across her shoulders. She was so much more relaxed these days and it warmed her heart to see her like this. When they reached the office door, Constance ushered her inside.
"Wait here for a moment, Mildred," Constance instructed before slipping outside and strutting off down the corridor.
Mildred was surprised to admit it, but she hadn't been in here for a while. She had spent more time in this room than in her own bedroom last year, but these days, she just invaded Constance's personal space in her quarters as she nosed around the orderly office. Her heart swelled with childish affection as she saw her Christmas card perched on the desk, with a photograph of the pair of them which was taken by Amelia over the summer during afternoon tea, standing in its pride of place.
However, a few moments later Mildred had shot back to her chair at lightning speed before the door opened again, and Constance beckoned another student inside. To Mildred's shock horror, Ethel was behind Constance, looking equally bewildered and outraged as her face reddened and she tried to hide behind the deputy headmistress.
"What's going on?" Ethel asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. Constance had been very kind to her since their rescue mission at Weirdsister, but she could easily scream at her right now.
Constance gave them both a knowing look as she raised a singular eyebrow at Mildred's hostile expression. "I've noticed that the two of you have been avoiding each other lately. Given that it's Christmas, I think it's the perfect time to clear the air. So, I'm leaving you both here to talk. No spells, no fighting, just talking. You two saved my life a few months ago so it is time I returned the favour."
With that, Constance quickly stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her to avoid any jinxes sent her way. She knew this could cause an argument between her and Mildred if it ended badly, but she knew her girl, and she knew that Mildred would come out of it stronger. Meanwhile, Mildred and Ethel stood there in awkward silence, the tension between them taking their breath away
Mildred shifted uncomfortably, her eyes darting around the room before finally meeting Ethel's gaze. "I—uh—I don't really know what to say. You've ignored me for months, Ethel."
Ethel sighed, crossing her arms. "Well, I wonder why? For goodness sake, Mildred! Miss Hardbroom can be a right...well...she can be insufferable sometimes but she has a point, I've been feeling awful."
Mildred nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, well I have too! You're not the only one who feels things, Ethel Hallow. I just... I'm sorry...look I don't know. It's complicated."
Ethel raised an eyebrow. "Complicated how? What was there to not understand about what I said?"
Mildred bit her lip, looking down at her feet her cheeks flushed. "I've been trying to communicate this for weeks, but you've been too stubborn to listen to me! Honestly, I wasn't lying when I said I genuinely had no idea about your feelings. I don't know what I can do with my abilities, but after years of studying other people, I know I find it harder to figure out their feelings if my feelings are similar. For example, when Maud and I argue and we are both irritated, I find it difficult to understand her emotions, but when I'm doing okay and Constance isn't, I find it easier. Does that make sense?"
Ethel paused for a few moments, her eyes displaying a glimmer of hope at what Mildred had just said. "If...if your feelings are similar?"
Mildred's cheeks flushed scarlet as she looked away shyly, she hadn't intended to be so direct. "Yes...well...I think... I think I might have feelings for you too, Ethel. And it's been confusing me a lot. I always thought I'd like a wizard...but after Ezra...I just don't know who I like or how to accept myself."
Ethel's eyes widened in surprise. "Feelings for me? But you've always been... well, you've always been too good for me, Mildred."
"I know it sounds like I'm only saying it for the sake of it," Mildred said quickly, her voice trembling. "But it's true. And I've been too scared to say anything because I was in denial about...feeling something for a girl. Although I've been feeling these things for a long time, I was scared because it was my mother's rash decisions in relationships that endangered me last year...and I didn't want to mess anything up...but I have been obsessed with you for a long time Ethel."
Ethel's expression softened, and she took a step closer to Mildred, understanding a little more now. "You're not messing anything up, Mildred. If you're scared or not ready, I won't pressure you. It was childish of me to ignore you...but it was the first time I had opened up to someone since Alexander hurt me...and I guess I was just scared that I was going to feel like that again. Despite everything, I still love you, Mildred. I meant everything I said and I cannot stop thinking about you. I really do care about you and I want to make you happy."
Mildred looked up, hope sparking in her eyes. "Really? You don't hate me?"
Ethel nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Really. I don't."
The tension in the room seemed to melt away, replaced by a tentative but genuine connection. Mildred felt a weight lift off her shoulders, and she reached out to take Ethel's hand before hugging her. "I care about you too. Thank you for everything this year...thank you for caring about me."
"Maybe Miss Hardbroom was right," Ethel said with a laugh. "Maybe we did need to talk."
Mildred squeezed Ethel's hand gently. "Maybe we did."
-x-
A few hours later, Mildred and Ethel stood near the edge of the crowd, having just emerged from their heart-to-heart in Constance's office. They exchanged shy smiles, both feeling a mixture of relief and nervous excitement, without really knowing what to do next. The tension that had clouded their interactions for weeks had finally lifted, replaced by a budding sense of something new and wonderful.
As they walked slowly towards the Christmas tree, their conversation was easy and light, a stark contrast to the nervousness they had both felt just moments earlier. Being with Ethel felt like talking to Constance but in a very different way. She felt safe with her, but she also couldn't take her eyes of her as her heart raced with all these suppressed feelings.
"Do you think anyone noticed we were gone?" Mildred asked, glancing around the bustling hall as her eyes rested on Drusilla, Maud, Enid, Ruby and Jadu who were playing a game of witch snap.
Ethel shook her head with a small laugh. "Everyone's too busy enjoying themselves. Besides, Miss Hardbroom will probably cover for us."
Mildred grinned as she looked up at Constance who was sat sulkily at the staff table with Miss Bat weaving red ribbon into her hair. "See, she's not so bad after all, is she?"
Ethel gave her a sideways glance, her smile softening. "No, she really isn't. I can see why she's the person you love most in this world."
As they reached the tree, Mildred's looked at the hundreds of gifts lying under it until her eyes were drawn upward. Hanging just above them was a sprig of mistletoe, its green leaves and white berries glistening in the candlelight. She felt a blush creeping up her cheeks and glanced at Ethel, who had also noticed the decoration.
"Well," Ethel said, her voice suddenly a little breathless. "It looks like we're in the right spot."
Mildred's heart pounded in her chest, as she seriously considered it. "I guess we are."
"Ugh, SO cliche, Hubble Bubble. Of course this would happen to you." Ethel mocked, her usual cunning personality shining though as it did whenever she felt on edge. The sudden switch in personality was hilarious. Mildred loved her defence mechanisms. "As if you'd even have the balls to snog me in the middle of the Great Hall in front of all these people! Despite everything, I still don't think you have it in you and you're still the same Mildr-"
However, Ethel's rambling was stopped mid sentence as Mildred's lips suddenly crashed into hers. For a moment, Ethel simply stood there in shock, the world around them fading into the background until she returned the kiss. It was gentle, tentative at first, but it quickly deepened as they both gave in to the feelings they had been hiding for so long. Mildred's hands found their way to Ethel's waist, while Ethel's fingers threaded through Mildred's hair. The warmth of the kiss seemed to spread through them, chasing away any lingering doubts or fears.
When they finally pulled away, they were both breathing a little harder, their cheeks flushed and their eyes sparkling with happiness. Around them, the hall seemed to erupt in applause and cheers, and they turned to see their fellow students and teachers smiling and clapping.
"About time!" Enid shouted from the crowd while Drusilla and Ruby wolf whistled, only adding to the chaotic atmosphere. The girls had long gotten over their feud after the events of last year, but despite this, they both laughed, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and joy as Mildred grabbed Ethel's hand and moved over to sit with their friends.
Mildred looked back at Ethel, her heart swelling with affection. "Merry Christmas, Ethel."
Ethel smiled, her eyes shining with tears. "Merry Christmas, Mildred."
From the staff table, Constance Hardbroom allowed herself a rare, satisfied smile. All she wanted was for Mildred to be happy, and she truly hoped she had found happiness tonight. Christmas was indeed a time for miracles, and tonight, she had just witnessed one, or rather created one. Oh how she was going to tease her girl tonight though. It was something she'd always imagined doing as a mother, embarrassing one's child with matters of the heart until they throw a pillow at them or-
"Constance."
Constance's thoughts were immediately interrupted by Amelia Cackle who was looking down at her with a stern expression. She had been absent from the hall all evening and had just reentered after Mildred and Ethel's dramatic display, but she did not embody any Christmas spirit.
"What's wrong, Amelia?" Constance asked, sitting on her hands to stop them from shaking.
God, she had to stop assuming the worst these days.
"Don't look so worried, Constance, but please can you go and collect Mildred, and meet me in my office as soon as possible. The Chief Wizard has been in touch, and there is something about your relationship that you need to know."
"Amelia...what?" Constance murmured, failing to keep her voice steady.
"There's a reason why you both survived all those months ago, and if you want to know what that reason is, then you will do as I tell you." Amelia finished, before rushing out of the room, leaving Constance alone with her inner turmoil as she transferred to Mildred's side.
A/N - Thoughts:
1) I loved adding little snippets into this chapter which show Constance's love for Mildred and vice versa: the cardigan, the photograph on the desk, angel…I'm glad they're happy.
2) There is a lot to learn about the laws of magic in the next chapter, and exactly how Mildred Hubble's abilities came to be.