Promiscuous Polygamous Siegrain

Chapter 4: Date to Divorce

"Evergreen, I have a problem..."

Erza would never imagine that she would be having this conversation with a woman who considers her as a rival. But everyone else is insistent on seeing her married to Siegrain, her hand has been forced to initiate this conversation.

And a very dreadful one. Evergreen will probably have to time of her life poking at her inexperience in romance.

Evergreen places her cup of tea on the saucer, crossing both her arms and legs simultaneously.

She means business.

"What could the Titania come here for? Came to rightfully hand the title to me?"

"Like I said before, I have no interest in the title. It's more..." Erza quickly glances at the bar to find Mirajane glaring at her with a smile while washing dishes. "Romance related."

She could not have found out about her scheme...surely.

"Well, I'm flattered I'm the first person you thought of. I know all the art about romance, so ask away!"

Erza can hear the clicking of a cassette tape next to Evergreen, but pays no mind to it.

"Well, there's this man that I despise and want off my tail. It doesn't help that I'm um...married to him, and for some reason he doesn't mind being my husband. So how could I get him to divorce me?"

Evergreen gives her judgemental stare. "You know it's publicized that you're married to that councilman?"

Erza blushes, then catches herself doing it and tries to stop herself. Sometimes she likes the idea of being married to someone so handsome and masculine.

Someone who is exactly like Jellal.

How can she even think of him like that!?

"Oh, I didn't realize. Yes, it's him, and I want to divorce him." She announces, almost a little too loud. Erza does not want to know if Mirajane has heard, so she keeps her gaze fixated on Evergreen's changing countenance. "Please help me."

The woman in question then turns her attention back to Erza nonchalantly. "I'd be more than happy to help you, Erza. First, you need to know what he likes about women, then act the complete opposite."

Evergreen leaves her seat and when she returns to the booth, there is an edition of Sorcerer Weekly in her hand. "Interviewing the Wizard Saints, a special edition with your husband on the topic of romance."

"How is this supposed to help us?"

"You really are clueless, aren't you? You just have to look and act opposite to what he answers in these interview questions. Let's see here... Siegrain says that while he does not care too much for it, he prefers a strong woman. So you'll have to start playing the damsel in distress."

"How am I supposed to be saved in a house?"

"Oh dear Erza, you know nothing of opportunities. How inexperienced of you." She chuckles mischievously, and Erza has half a mind of throwing her down, but she is helping her, after all. "Ask him out on a date."

"He will definitely say no."

"Be insistent. Say something about how you have truly fallen in love with him. Be clingy, he will surely hate that." She flips through the magazine. "He never mentioned anything appearance-wise...what a mysterious man."

Evergreen studies Erza intently. "I think he likes how you look. So you'll have to wear a ridiculous getup. A wig, probably blue hair, and do you have any costumes?"

"I have a lot...like a bunny girl?"

"No! That'll make him fall in love with you even more!"

Erza raises an eyebrow. "It's a pretty strange outfit."

"Are you trying to seduce him or divorce him?"

"He doesn't really appear to be affected by my nakedness."

Evergreen turns red. "W-wait, I thought you were innocent! You really are shameless."

"It's not like that! I'm just talking about the number of times I've been naked in front of my guild mates."

Erza thought Evergreen was the master of love and men. So why was she bright red right now?

Evergreen sighs, "You certainly don't feel anything, but ask anybody else. Besides, whom you speak of are those who you have grown up with. This...is different."

Now that Erza thinks about it, she probably would not undress in front of Siegrain. That would be like doing it in front of Jellal!

The thought makes her cheeks burn, and Evergreen can only manage another hopeless sigh. "Well, do you have another costume?"

"A strawberry inflatable costume that is scented. Helps me locate the sweetest strawberry patches to ever exist."

"That will do. And you should be off to a good divorce."

Erza grabs Evergreen's hands. "Thank you so much, I knew you would be the only one willing to help me!"

Evergreen gazes at her, shocked. Then she turns her head away. "I-it's nothing."

Erza heads out the guildhall, rather enthusiastic about reenacting the plan.

Evergreen, on the other hand, smirks and walks over to the guildhall bar, handing Mirajane the cassette she used to record Erza's words.

"Thank you for helping us promote monogamous, chaste, and loyal couples, Evergreen." Mirajane says.

"Well, you did insist it would be a great revenge on Titania."

Mirajane gives a deathly evil smirk. "Oh, you are definitely right about that." She then whispers to herself, "Trying to divorce your husband, Erza? I think it's time for marriage counselling."

Erza stands at the front foyer of Siegrain's estate, waiting for him to come down for breakfast.

Lately, Erza has found their relationship quite strange.

It is normal.

That is hardly right. She should not be smiling when she sees his face or when he makes a lighthearted joke.

She remembers all those she left behind in the Tower of Heaven. To live in bliss with that man's brother is hardly the right way to go.

Erza needs to put an end to this and come to terms with her dark past.

When Siegrain does come downstairs, he stares at Erza for a long moment.

She is dressed up in the large inflated strawberry costume, with her arms and hands sticking out. She clearly will have a hard time walking around.

Moreover, she smells like strawberries.

"Erza?" he puts his hands in his pockets and walks over to her. "What is with that getup?"

"Siegrain...let's go on a date."

She says it so abruptly, so delicately too. How does one manage to do that? Erza looks so innocent saying it, and in that moment she is the endearing person he has laid eye upon.

But why is she fluttering her eyelashes at him continuously?

"Are...are you under some sort of influence?"

"Nonsense. I think I have fallen in love with you Siegrain, and therefore I demand we go on a date."

Demand.

Erza realizes she is not great with word choice. "I mean, it's a request! I would like to go out with you, Siegrain."

He continues to stare at her, wondering if he is dreaming.

"Well, this certainly is a surprise." He approaches her until he is towering over her frame. "But not necessarily an unpleasant one. I would be delighted to go out with you...on a couple of conditions."

"Name it."

"Get rid of that costume. I'm not taking a ginormous strawberry for a date."

"I-I can't. My clothes aren't washed."

He takes to holding her hand, and Erza is startled by his sudden action. She finds herself turning red, realizing how small her hand seems when it's in his hands, which are soft with seemingly manicured nails.

"Let's go buy you a dress."

And be more indebted to him? No. Absolutely not. He also seems way too happy to be going on a date with her.

"Wait, I may have something!"

"Oh?"

"Yes, please let me go."

She escapes his grasp and stumbles up the stairs, struggling to do so with her costume.

Siegrain laughs while observing her struggle, infuriating her more.

Well, this could be a good sign that he found it completely uncalled for. Therefore, he must have found her annoying.

Progress is being made.

Erza comes downstairs in the only dress she can find. Something new, that a random councillor had given her as a wedding gift. The dress is white embroidered with flowers spanning from her neck to the ankles.

Well, this certainly cuts the stereotype of strong woman. Surely Siegrain will find her–

"That dress looks lovely on you."

Wrong.

"It's not very strong-like."

Siegrain quizzically stares at her. "I assume you have a strong taste for armour? While I don't mind that, it's refreshing to see you in a dress."

Just as he said before when she wore the wedding dress.

The white reminds him of her rags in the Tower of Heaven. Sweet innocent Erza, trying to plan out an escape, where in the end, her efforts were futile.

She does not reply, instead goes to fixing the blue-haired curly wig on her head.

Siegrain snatches it away before she can fit it on her head. "Siegrain, give that back to me."

"Why are you trying for a ridiculous getup?"

"The public. They're make a scandal out of us!"

"We're already married, that's as scandalous as it gets."

"Please, I want to hide."

"Did you commit a crime?"

"What? No. The only crime I committed is getting entangled in this marriage."

Erza wants to cover her mouth when she says that, but she knows there is no point.

"Oh? What happened to your love for me?"

Erza clears her throat. "I was obviously joking about the crime." She attempts a laugh, but it falls short. "Anyway, let's um...go eat?"

"Sure, but the wig stays off." He says with a grin, destroying it in his hand with fire.

"You burned my hard earned money."

"I'll compensate you. Although, I would say our living arrangements are compensation enough."

"Fair enough." Erza requips into a pair of heeled boots, walking out the door. "Let's go."

She is abruptly stopped by Siegrain holding her hand. "W-what do you think you're doing?"

"We're on a date, aren't we?"

"Yes..." she stares at where their hands are connected. "Why are you holding my hand?"

"It's something people do when they go out on a date, no?"

"I'd rather you not hold my hand."

"Ah I see, I suppose you were lying about your confession earlier."

One day, Erza. One day and he will divorce you if he sees how clingy you are to him.

"Of course not. Let's go out darling!" she grips his hand tightly and leads him out the door. Erza even takes to leaning into his arm as they walk.

Still, his only reaction is a small chuckle before letting her cling onto him.

Little does she know Siegrain is having the time of his life watching her internal dilemma over something as small as holding his hand.

"I take it this is your favourite eatery?" Siegrain asks.

"How did you guess?"

"It was so much farther away from all the other ones we passed by."

"Well, I didn't want anyone from the guild seeing us together."

"Ah, not a proud moment to be a husband."

"Nonsense, I just thought it would be more intimate if there were no guild members spying on us."

"Someone from the guild knows you're on a date?"

"Yes, I asked for advice on how to charm you."

On how to divorce you, she laughs internally.

Siegrain smiles, "I'm flattered you thought about me, Erza. I think that incident at Onibus allowed us to make great progress in our relationship. It's almost as if I love you."

"I certainly love you, Jellal."

The name completely slips, and it is not until moments of Siegrain's silence passes that Erza realizes what she has done.

"W-wait, I was just confused, that's all."

Siegrain smiles, confusing her all the more. "You still love him, don't you?"

"Of course not," Erza whispers to herself. "If I did, I would be building the Revive System for him, wouldn't I? But then again, that kind of slaving for another's dream is not love."

"I think it is." Siegrain says, and who better to make that comment than the man behind the construction of the R-System? "Well, that is if he was doing something you condoned."

"Do you condone it?"

"Don't entertain ridiculous notions, Erza."

"Ridiculous? Your actions have been questionable."

"Would you want the Magic Council to kill the friends left behind?"

"...but Jellal is different."

"You don't want him to die."

She shuts her mouth, unable to make any further comment.

Siegrain smiles at that, waiting for her to gather her thoughts. Finally, he continues, "I think you should face your past head-on, Erza. Perhaps this date can be more than just a ploy for a divorce."

Erza glares at him. "A ploy for divorce?"

"Don't take me for a fool, Erza." Siegrain replies, mirth written all over his face. "I won't press on much longer. Let's at least enjoy the meal. Shall we?"

The waiter scribbles their order down and leaves a moment later.

Siegrain leans back in his chair, studying Erza as she stares intently at the menua. "So, what exactly do you find so detestable about me?"

Erza's eyes narrow. "You're manipulative, scheming, and you remind me too much of Jellal's darker side."

"I don't think I have a dark side. If I did, the Magic Council wouldn't appoint me," he chimes. "Besides, have you ever considered that people can change?"

"Change? Like Jellal?" She scoffs. "People like you don't change. You just find new ways to manipulate."

"Yet here you are, on a date with me," Siegrain counters smoothly. "Maybe you see something in me worth saving."

Erza holds her breath. She sees something in Jellal that's worth saving, and that is why she is having this conversation with him.

He is Jellal, and she thinks he has grown to be this beautiful, this powerful, and maybe she would be happily married to him, had he not been brought to the dark side.

"Don't flatter yourself," Erza retorts. "I'm only here to find a way out of this mess."

"Mess?" Siegrain raises an eyebrow. "A marriage to a councilman isn't exactly a mess, Erza. It's a strategic alliance."

"I didn't marry you for strategy. If anything, you only have that pretty face working in your favour."

It's enough to get a prideful reaction from him.

"Convenient," he murmurs, but drops the subject as their food arrives.

They eat in relative silence, the tension between them palpable. Erza can't help but feel a strange mix of emotions. She hates him, but there's also a small part of her that's curious about this man.

"Siegrain?"

"Yes?"

"What did you mean by I still love him?"

"Ah, that. I assumed you liked my brother, given how much of a grudge you held against me upon our initial meeting. You seemed...betrayed, and it seems as though it hurt you."

Erza looks down, moving her fork around an empty plate, zoned out.

"Although," Siegrain continues, "I think in some ways you can think of yourself as the betrayer."

"I...how dare you insinuate that!?"

His lips quirk up, "I'm not insinuating you are one, but Jellal can think the same of you. A betrayal for his own cause."

"For what cause? To revive an evil lord?"

"You certainly did your research."

"I despise knowing that you conspire with him. Why don't you see what's so wrong with his goal? Why!?" she takes to grabbing his shoulders, shaking them back and forth as Siegrain stares up at her.

"I don't conspire with him, Erza." The lie comes out so easily.

"Don't lie to me! You were never good at lying!"

"Me, or Jellal?"

Erza stills, puts her hands on her sides as her head hangs down. No matter how many times she is supposedly married to Siegrain, she only sees Jellal. She only finds the eyes of someone she could have called her lover in another universe.

She rests her case, putting her hands on her lap. "I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blame you for the actions of your brother."

Siegrain stays silent for a moment, contemplating as he stares out the window they are seated by. "I don't blame you, Erza. There is however one question I have for you."

How can he act so nonchalantly? Does he really think nothing of her?

"If he came back to you and let everything go—the Tower of Heaven, would you accept him?"

"Is that even fair to you?"

"Fair?" he laughs, "Since when were either of us on board with this marriage? Besides, a marriage to him or myself, nobody would know the difference."

Erza fails to realize the reason why there would be no difference, but she interprets it as them having the same appearance.

The logical conclusion is that Jellal indeed is identical to him. "Yes, I'd take him back."

He goes quiet again, admiring her calm countenance from across.

What a foolish and kind girl she is, he thinks. Behind that astute attitude and her armour, she is the most gentle thing.

Suddenly, he wonders what it would be like to abandon the Tower of Heaven to be with her.

Siegrain laughs abruptly, taking Erza by surprise as she studies him almost skeptically.

He smiles, and tells her, "I love you, Erza."

She spends the next few days, in every single waking moment alone, contemplating why.

After the meal, they take a walk through the nearby park. Erza attempts to continue her act of clinging to Siegrain, hoping it will hasten his decision to divorce her. However, Siegrain seems to enjoy the closeness, much to her frustration.

"Erza," he says suddenly, stopping to look at her. "Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if the Tower of Heaven hadn't happened?"

She frowns. "Of course. But it's pointless to dwell on what-ifs."

"Maybe," he agrees. "But it shapes who we are. The tower... it made you strong, but it also left scars."

Erza's grip on his arm tightens. "I don't need a lecture from you about my past."

"It's not a lecture," he says softly. "It's an observation. You've carried those scars for so long, maybe it's time to heal."

"And how do you suggest I do that?" she challenges.

"By confronting it," Siegrain replies. "Together. Not as enemies, but as partners."

She pulls away from him, shaking her head. "I can't...I won't trust you."

"Then don't trust me," he says simply. "Trust yourself. You're strong enough to face anything, Erza. Even your past."

Erza's grip on his arm loosens, and he cannot help but smile. "Also, you can stop holding onto me. You don't have to tolerate this. The fact of the matter is, I find you very intriguing, and nothing you do will make me change my mind."

Almost like his affection for her is unconditional.

But is that even love?

Siegrain gestures to a food stand in the park, bustling with people. "Did you want to get funnel cake?"

Erza knows many desserts, fancy ones, but not something you would find at a food truck or stand. She never visited those; almost like a subconscious part of her told her to stay away from anything lacking the finest of things.

Because somehow it reminded her of her past, a reality far from luxury.

"I've never had one."

"No? Strawberry is a common topping for it, and you would think a councilman has never had one. I didn't expect you to not try it, given your obsession with strawberries."

"It's not that bad."

"We have a lot of strawberry cartons in the fridge."

Erza sighs; there is no denying it. Guilty as charged. "Sure, let's try it."

They stand in line to get one, and Erza cannot help the sigh when there is a crowd of people around them to take photos of them.

Even while they were eating, the paparazzi wasted no time taking photos of them. There was no way Sorcerer Weekly would replace the in-demand models with an issue as trivial as this.

And for some reason, she keeps sensing Mirajane's presence amongst the crowd. But her at this point it is no surprise.

Siegrain grabs her hand after taking the funnel cake and drags her to a secluded area of the park, until they reach a botanical garden after making numerous turns to escape the crowds.

Until they stop by a water fountain.

Erza realizes they only have one fork.

"Uh, Siegrain?"

"Hm?"

"Fork."

"We only need one, no?"

"Well, no, we should probably get our own. I'll go back and ask for another pair of cutlery."

He grabs her arm. "If you would like to be surrounded by a crowd, then be my guest."

"You can have it then."

"We can share. Also, I find your behaviour today has been very out of character from this morning. Did you really want to go out with me, or is there an ulterior motive?"

"No, why would you assume that?" she assumes the position of clinging to his arm again, to which Siegrain raises an eyebrow.

"Then you will jump at the chance to share some dessert with me, no?"

Erza inhales sharply. Who in their right mind would jump at such n opportunity!?

He portions out a bite in the meantime and holds the fork up to her lips. Erza stares at him in bewilderment.

"You...you don't have to."

"I'm trying to be more romantic, and it's hard as it is. Surely you'll entertain me this once?"

Erza stares long and hard at the funnel cake, before opening her mouth as he feeds her. She looks away almost begrudgingly and he smiles once again, confusing her all the more.

For the first time in a while, she is not a tool or stepping stone for his cause to revive Zeref.

She is his wife, and lest she dies as a sacrifice, he will reveal his true identity to her before then.

"So you knew my intention beforehand?"

"Well, yes. I doubt any member in your guild could convince you enough to go out on a date with me. Unless of course that Sorcerer Weekly mage forced you, but I'm doubtful considering how she followed us around today."

"Oh, so it wasn't just me who noticed her presence today."

"She has some of the most ridiculous getups."

There was no defending Mirajane when it came to ridiculous undercover disguises. She definitely would overdress to attract attention, to let one know that she was always watching.

"Anyway, today was a nice day off." Siegrain says, running a hand through his hair.

"Surely you're joking?"

"Not at all. Dealing with the Magic Council is more tiring than entertaining."

"Hah, am I a means to entertain you?"

"Apologies if that came out wrong. I only meant that I felt really at peace...with you." The confession comes out slow, and he savours it, staring at Erza for her reaction.

Her expression softens. "Marriage...a place where you should find peace, right?"

"I suppose we're getting better at this" he exclaims with a smirk, before extending his hand. "And of course, if I must finish the night with your utmost resentment in accomplishing your mission today, will you hold my hand as we return home?"

Erza studies his hand for a while, and sees young Jellal extend his arm to her as they are about to escape.

Siegrain watches with surprise as she willingly places her hand in his, and she smiles gently.

"I acknowledge that our date to divorce has failed, Siegrain."

The doorbell rings early in the morning. Siegrain glances at the clock and finds it is five in the morning.

He ventures into the bathroom to wash up, fully intending to ignore the doorbell. But it keeps ringing, and incessantly at that.

If this is the paparazzi, none of them are leaving with unmarred faces, he claims.

But when he opens the door, he finds Crawford Seam and Mirajane Strauss standing at the door, holding up another ticket.

"Your last violation." Mirajane voices cheerfully, handing the ticket to him along with the cassette tape.

Crawford clears his throat, "We expect to see you at the Magic Council for the marriage counselling at nine, sharp today."

Siegrain glares at them, "We did not commit another violation."

"Oh you definitely did, that tape is proof." Mirajane answers, clasping her hands together. "Well, we look forward to seeing you soon. And if you don't show up, know that you will be wanted criminals in Fiore."

That threat is not exactly far fetched, and something Crawford would do to make sure his wives never see him again.

"I'll decide for myself if this constitutes as a third violation." Siegrain holds up the cassette, before barring the door on them.

Terribly annoyed.

Erza is at the staircase by the time he starts walking to his office.

"Siegrain, what's going on?"

"Apparently, we got our third ticket and are being demanded to make an appearance at the Magic Council."

"What? Why would Mirajane assume that after watching us all day yesterday?"

"Apparently she has proof. You're more than welcome to come watch this with me." He says, holding the cassette between his fingers.

Erza follows, still in her pajamas and crosses her arms, sitting beside Siegrain as he inserts the tape into the player. A voice memo shows up on his monitor, and it starts playing words that will haunt Erza forever.

"Well, there's this man that I despise and want off my tail. It doesn't help that I'm um...married to him, and for some reason he doesn't mind being my husband. So how could I get him to divorce me?"

Erza stills when Siegrain turns to her, with the recording still playing. Evergreen's accusations of Erza's shamelessness ring in her ears once Siegrain starts addressing her.

"Well, I can't tell if I'm surprised because you took advice from someone inexperienced in this topic or because you got caught red-handed. You should be more aware of your surroundings."

"I didn't think Evergreen would wish for my marriage. She probably wanted me to get divorced."

"Then she was severely fooled by Mirajane as well."

"What...what are we going to do?"

He stands from his seat and pats her head. "Well, I'm afraid we're going to be subjected to marriage counselling, dear wife. I suggest you get ready; they are expecting us soon."

Erza's aura gives off rage and chaos, and then she finally bursts, sprouting for her spot and clenching her fist. "I'm going to kill Evergreen and Mirajane!"

Siegrain crosses his arms, "You're also at fault."

"I'm not the one who proposed having a hundred kids with you."

"Ah, but your actions constitute two of the three tickets. Trying to escape this marriage twice seems much more promiscuous than my demands for children."

The way he can say this with a straight face only agitates her. "I'll kill you too."

"That's the only way our marriage will be annulled, I suppose. Until death do us apart, Erza." He grins, cupping her cheek as he watches her red countenance amusingly. Red from anger or embarrassment, he cannot tell, but either way, he finds her hilarious.

And so, the treacherous marriage counselling begins.