CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

12x06 Elliott's Pond

JJ rolled over to find the spot where her wife normally was to be empty. She opened her eyes tiredly. The soft morning light was turning the entire room a shade of dark blue in which her alarm clock read 4:45am. Emily was never up and out of bed this early. She spotted a note sitting on her nightstand next to her phone.

At the BAU. Don't worry. Explain later.

JJ scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. Emily hadn't mentioned anything the previous evening. JJ sat up in bed, suddenly paranoid by the darkness. Something was going on…

Emily sat at her desk nervously. Her knee was bouncing uncontrollably. Seeing the squad room at this time was always odd to her. It was like a different place. She bit her lip and glanced around the deserted room. The clock read 4:45am.

Emily jumped at the sound of an office door opening behind her. Dave stuck his head and gestured for her to join him. But something was off - he had come out of Hotch's office, not his own. And the blinds were pulled tightly closed.

Dave stepped aside just enough to let her into the room before closing it again behind her. Her eyes widened as she saw who was there with them.

"Hotch? When did you get back?"

"Sit, Emily. We don't have much time," Dave insisted. Hotch grimaced a little at Dave's comment. Emily was beyond confused.

"What's going on? What's happened?"

Emily's mind jumped to all the worse scenarios. It had to be something bad. What other reason would they have pulled her out of bed at 4:00 in the morning for a secret meeting?

"I haven't been away on special assignment. That's something we had to say as a cover for the investigation," Hotch started. Emily could feel her heartbeat increasing. Her eyes darted between the two men.

"What investigation?"

"I spotted Peter Lewis at one of Jack's soccer games. By the time I reacted, he was gone."

"The bureau searched the area but he disappeared," Rossi added.

"When was this?"

"Days after Mr. Scratch resurfaced in Arizona," Rossi explained. He was leaning back in the chair next to Emily. He looked odd - a strange combination of relaxed and on edge. As if he had accepted his discomfort.

"Initially I thought around-the-clock surveillance would be enough. But then when we were all in LA, Lewis surfaced again - this time at Jack's school."

Aaron's jaw tensed as he said the last part. He was staring daggers at the desk beneath his hand. Emily felt her blood beginning to boil. Had Lewis been threatening to hurt one of her children, she didn't know if she'd be so put together.

"Peter Lewis is not going to stop. Which is why Jack and I are going into WITSEC." He paused. Emily wondered if time had stopped. This was surreal.

"We'll catch him. Aaron I promise you, this team will not rest until we do," she said intensely. She turned to Dave but he didn't seem to share her tenacity.

Hotch lifted his eyebrows and turned to Dave, "Could we have a minute?"

Dave stood as if on cue. Like he knew it was coming. Without a word, he exited the room. Emily watched him go. The shock of the information was beginning to wear off and confusion was taking its place. What weren't they telling her?

"I just put in my papers," Hotch sighed. Emily stared back at him with wide eyes. "I've already spoken to the director about who should be my replacement and my final request is that you become the Unit Chief of the BAU."

Emily felt her jaw drop a little. "Hotch - no I - I couldn't. I mean, we've made it work for the past couple of weeks, but -"

"Emily, Emily," he put a calm hand up. "It's okay," he nodded sympathetically.

Aaron stood and came around his desk so that he could sit in the chair next to her. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He looked contemplative, even a little misty-eyed. He lowered his voice a little.

"Nothing changes, except what has to," he said plainly.

Emily nodded sadly. He was telling her she could do it. He was telling her he believed in her ability. But she didn't know if she believed in herself. She smiled painfully. It wasn't just about her own personal reservations about being the Unit Chief. The team would never be the same without him. And she was never particularly good with change.

"We're never going to see you again, are we?"

He shook his head a little. "It's not ideal… but I don't have a choice."

"We'll miss you," Emily started. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," Hotch responded softly. They sat in silence for a while before Emily stood and made her way over to the door. He didn't move. He was still sitting in the chair, still leaning forward on his knees.

"Hey Prentiss," Aaron said, making her turn back to face him again. There was a small smile on his face - an uncharacteristic sparkle in his eyes. "Do something with the place, won't ya?"

It was hours before the rest of them arrived. Emily spent most of the time with Dave behind closed doors. He explained to her all the details Hotch didn't have time to. He left minutes after their meeting. It was an indescribable grief - watching someone you care about walk away and knowing that you'll never see them again. She envied the rest of the team's ignorance.

Every time the door opened Emily's eyes instinctively glanced in that direction. Finally, she caught sight of who she was waiting for. JJ's blonde hair stood out. She was talking with Luke, Tara, and Spencer. She looked happy.

That happiness went away as Dave explained what had happened to Hotch. She could feel JJ's eyes searing into her the more Dave spoke. Emily knew JJ was putting the pieces together. Why she'd eft the house so early that morning. Why she'd been in a meeting with Dave.

"Hotch's final request was that Emily Prentiss becomes the BAU's new Unit Chief."

"Thank the universe for silver linings," Garcia breathed. But Emily didn't look anywhere but at her wife's surprised face. JJ's eyes were glancing back and forth between Emily and Dave, unsure of what to make of this new development.

"I just heard about all of this myself a few hours ago," Emily said cautiously to the group. She glanced back at JJ. She was smiling, but it didn't reach her eyes. There was a sadness in them. Almost a disappointment.

"Congratulations, Emily," Luke said with a smile.

"I'm really happy for you," Tara added.

"Thanks, you guys, but I haven't exactly signed on yet," Emily spoke quickly.

"Everyone knows you have a lot to consider, but the brass needs an answer by tomorrow," Dave said with a nod.

"Understood."

The air in the jet had an awkward thickness to it. JJ was watching Emily from afar. Dave was talking to her again. She lingered a row away from them. Emily looked overwhelmed. JJ wanted to feel bad for her - but she honestly didn't know what she was feeling. Emily becoming Unit Chief had so many implications…

JJ stood and made her way over to the plane kitchen. Emily glanced up at this. She turned her head towards Spencer, pleading with him silently. He seemed to understand and stood to follow his friend. Emily sighed.

Spencer forced a tight smile as he came around JJ.

"There's a lot to process before my first cup," she muttered pouring the hot coffee into her mug. She handed the pot to Spencer. "I can't believe he's been dealing with this for weeks and we never knew."

"That part actually doesn't surprise me. He's always kept things to himself. I guess it was just his way of protecting us."

JJ huffed a little and widened her eyes. "If anyone targeted my boys, I'd do anything to keep them safe."

She walked past Spencer back towards the team. He wasn't sure that conversation helped much. Because they both knew the burdens of being married to a Unit Chief. They'd watched it tear apart Hotch's marriage. Spencer knew that's what JJ had to be thinking.

"I know."

"I don't mean to overstep but I couldn't help but notice… a little chill in the air?" Tara hinted. Dave and JJ had just left the room to go over some old files. Only Emily and she were left in the room.

"Yeah…" Emily agreed heavily. It didn't take a profiler to notice it. "I love this group - and I love this job, but…"

"But you love your family too," Tara said, finishing her thought.

"Yeah. This job destroys marriages." Emily instinctively spun her wedding ring around on her finger. She knew that what they had was delicate. They were balancing on a very fine wire. And she didn't want to fall.

"Have you and JJ talked about it?"

"Oh, we haven't had the chance. We jumped on the jet."

"You should," she said softly.

"I will."

Emily took inventory of the team. She never looked at them like this before. It was her responsibility now. She never truly appreciated the weight that Hotch carried all those years. Dave approached her slowly.

"We good to go?" Emily asked. Dave reached out, extending his hand to her. There was something in it. A card. "What's this?"

"It's a hotel room. All expenses paid. And from what I hear, it comes with a killer breakfast buffet," Dave added with a smirk. Emily looked down. She knew what he was doing. "You need to talk to her." Emily opened her mouth to argue but Dave held up his hands. "Don't worry - Reid, Penelope, and I are going to team up and take care of the boys for the next twelve hours. Between the three of us, I think we'll be able to handle it." Dave smiled and gestured for her to take the key in his outstretched hand. "Take it, Emily."

She nodded and gave Dave a tight smile. She knew that in a matter of hours the brass would expect her answer. And that she couldn't say yes until she spoke with JJ. Emily reluctantly took the card from his hand, drawing a smile from Dave.

JJ stood next to Emily as she dug the keycard out of her jacket pocket. They didn't speak much on the car ride over to the hotel. JJ knew what was coming. They were about to have a very serious conversation about their future. Possibly a fight. Emily pulled the key out the slot and turned the handle, holding the door for JJ.

She trailed behind JJ quietly taking in her surroundings as JJ flipped the light on. JJ dropped her bag and fell on her back onto the bed. Emily leaned against the wall unsure of what to say and how to start the conversation.

"I'm not mad at you," JJ said, breaking the silence. Her eyes were closed, her arm laying over them. After a moment of silence, she moved her arm and sat up. Emily still hadn't moved.

"I don't know what to do," Emily admitted.

"What do you want to do?" JJ countered. Emily pushed herself off the wall and sat on the bed across from JJ. JJ saw how much this decision was tormenting her wife. She ducked her head to look at Emily's face. "Em?"

"I saw Hotch yesterday morning," Emily whispered. She had JJ's full attention. "You should've seen his face, Jay…" She shook her head, hoping to shake free of the memory. "I want to do right by him… I owe him that. But not at the expense of our family. I just want to do the right thing."

"Maybe there is no right answer. I don't want some random suit taking Hotch's place," JJ admitted.

"So, you want me to take the job?"

JJ looked away from Emily's eyes and focused on the wall in front of them. JJ wasn't sure. She knew that Agent Prentiss was the best choice for the position. She would be an excellent leader. She was probably the only one that could hold them together after losing Hotch. But JJ wasn't sure she wanted her wife, Emily, to be the Unit Chief of the BAU. And Emily sensed that by her wife's silence.

"I don't want to lose you, Jay…"

JJ's eyes whipped back up. They were full of alarm. "You won't," she said intensely. She couldn't believe that Emily actually thought that would ever happen. Emily looked back skeptically. "What, you don't believe me?"

"I believe that you believe it," Emily started. "But we both know what happens to people who take this job."

"That was different," JJ said, shaking her head.

"Was it?" Emily said in a whisper. She raised her eyebrows and JJ went quiet. Emily was right. It was naive to think they were immune to the very thing that tore apart Aaron Hotchner's marriage. "I don't even know if they'd let you stay at the BAU if I became the Unit Chief," Emily added. "We made a promise a long time ago that we wouldn't get in the way of each other's careers."

"Yeah and then we had kids," JJ replied, with a small smile.

Emily laughed a little in agreement. But the mention of their children only added to her anguish. She sighed and JJ reached for her hand. She studied Emily's eyes. She could see it plain as day - Emily wanted the job. But there was so much conflict in her. There was guilt. JJ knew exactly what Emily was thinking.

"You wanting to take this job does not make you a bad mother," JJ said slowly. "And it does not make you a bad wife." She made sure she held eye contact as she said it. Emily needed to hear it. She needed to understand. JJ causally leaned in and brushed her lips across Emily's. When she broke away, Emily immediately pulled her back in for a deeper one. She shifted so that she could more easily wrap her arm around JJ.

"It would mean I'd be in the office five days a week," Emily breathed against JJ's lips. She pulled back a little but kept her eyes closed, "Maybe more." JJ brought a hand to Emily's cheek and tucked some hair behind her ear. Emily opened her eyes. "It would mean a lot of evenings alone with the boys."

"I know," JJ nodded. She knew things would change. Emily couldn't read her. She couldn't tell what she was thinking. JJ smiled at the trepidation in Emily's eyes. "I think you should take the job," JJ whispered.

Emily couldn't deny that she wanted this. But she also couldn't deny the intense fear that came along with it. That she wouldn't be enough. That she couldn't be as good as Hotch. And that becoming Unit Chief would mean she couldn't give enough to her children.

"Can we make a deal?" Emily asked. JJ nodded immediately and Emily took her hand again. "Promise me that if it becomes too much - if it ever gets too overwhelming or too scary for either of us, one of us can call it and that'll be it. No questions, no disputes…"

"And what would we do?"

"Whatever we want. Go to all the PTA meetings. Sip our coffee in the morning… have dinner with our boys every night."

"Yeah, you would get bored of that in about a month," JJ joked, rolling her eyes. Emily smiled back, but didn't concede. JJ noticed, scrunching her eyebrows. "You're serious about this," JJ whispered. She said it like a statement.

"Maybe Morgan could use a business partner," Emily suggested. JJ continued to look at her, a little shocked. "I'm serious, Jay."

A soft smile graced JJ's lips and she nodded her head. Emily stared at her for a peaceful moment. She wanted to take her in - study her features. JJ's face broke into a devious smile. Like she'd told an inside joke that only Emily would understand. It made Emily's heart race. She watched as JJ moved to her knees and positioned herself so that they were face to face.

"What are you doing?" Emily asked with a cautious smile growing on her face.

"I'm gonna have sex with my wife," JJ responded causually. Emily raised her eyebrows and smiled in amusement. She opened her arms so JJ could sit in her lap. "Because we are kid-free for the next 10 hours," JJ said, holding Emily's face in her hands. Emily's arms came to wrap around her wife's body. She looked up at her reverently. JJ was leaning closer - almost tormenting Emily with her proximity. "And I guess I do find the sound of 'Unit Chief Prentiss' very sexy."

Emily broke into a grin moments before JJ's lips captured hers.