CHAPTER FIFTY

12x14 Collision Course

Her warmth was so alluring. And the way the blue of the early morning light lit up her features made it feel like a dream. But it wasn't a dream. Emily's arm was wrapped around her, pulling her in. There was a red glow that was reflecting off her eyes from the alarm clock on the nightstand. When JJ had first woken up it read 4:30am. But some time had passed since then.

It started with a peaceful silence. JJ had woken up to find Emily already awake, staring up at the ceiling. There were obvious bags under her eyes. She was wearing herself thin. Emily turned her head and smiled tightly at JJ's sleepy eyes. Emily shifted to her side so that she was facing her. And after a long, peaceful silence, JJ leaned in and kissed her.

Since then, clothes had slowly been taken off. Words of quiet affection had been exchanged - but their kisses remained slow. Deliberate. Purposeful. This was less about lust and more about closeness. In the stillness of the early morning, it felt as though they could take their time and enjoy the familiarity of each other. JJ pulled back briefly to see a strange cocktail of concession and longing in Emily's eyes. But she didn't linger on it long - she pushed Emily's hair out of her face and leaned in to kiss her again. JJ could feel Emily's fingers brushing across her back, and moaned at the feeling. She ran a gentle hand up her wife's neck, shuddering a little when she felt Emily's tongue trace her lower lip.

They both needed this. They were in desperate need of some alone time. Because laying in Emily's arms like this - with her lips kissing her like they were - JJ could briefly forget how hard it had been trying to adjust to her wife's new work schedule. She could forget that her best friend was locked up for a crime he didn't commit. She could let everything else fall away, and focus on the intoxicating way Emily's bare skin felt against hers. It was almost criminal.

JJ shifted so that she was hovering directly over Emily. She felt her legs open so JJ could settle between them. JJ pulled back from Emily's mouth to breathe. Emily looked up at her and pushed the hair out of JJ's face. She was flush with desire. It made it hard for Emily to breathe when JJ looked like that. JJ leaned down to kiss her again. Emily's hand ran through her hair. Emily felt her breathing become labored. It had been far too long since she'd had time like this with her wife. And JJ's undivided attention always had a strong effect on her.

They both jumped a little at the sudden sound of a vibrating cell phone on the wooden nightstand. JJ pulled her lips away. Emily sighed a little, keeping her eyes closed. JJ stayed silent, leaning her forehead against Emily's. After a long moment, JJ leaned over and stretched an arm out to grab the phone. It was Emily's. She took it from JJ and quickly answered it.

"Prentiss."

JJ caught a glimpse of the alarm clock - 4:47am. She saw the writing on the wall. A work call that early in the morning was never a good sign. Emily squeezed her eyes closed, trying to focus on the voice talking to her on her phone. But it wasn't easy with JJ's body pressing gently down on her and her tongue trailing across her neck.

"Okay… yeah. It's happening this morning?"

JJ was only half paying attention to what Emily was saying. She wasn't ready to face the world quite yet. She didn't want to leave the comfort of Emily. She pulled back to brush some hair away before leaning in again to kiss down her neck again.

"I'll be right there," Emily muttered dejectedly, pulling the phone away from her ear and throwing her arm down with an exasperated sigh. JJ pulled back and was immediately met by her wife's apologetic eyes. JJ smiled tightly, trying to ease Emily's disappointment. She didn't want Emily to feel guilty over this. It wouldn't do any good.

"Go," JJ whispered, knowingly.

But Emily didn't move. She was tired of feeling like she was letting JJ down. She deserved better than this. Emily didn't want to leave - she wanted to stay and show JJ that she didn't take her for granted. But she couldn't.

"Go," she said again, urging her. Emily nodded despondently and got out of bed. JJ rolled onto her back and threw an arm over her eyes. 17 minutes. That was the most amount of alone time they'd had together in a week. 17 minutes with her wife. She sighed - she wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep. Not after that. She could still taste her skin.

Emily didn't turn the bedroom light on. JJ listened as she moved around their room gathering her things. She walked into the bathroom and pushed the door most of the way closed behind her. The light turned on, casting a thin beam of light across the dark room. By the time Emily came back out of the bathroom, JJ was sitting on the edge of their bed, slipping her shirt back over her head.

JJ stood and walked over to Emily. She didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around her wife's waist and kiss her quickly. When she pulled away, Emily's eyes were searing into her's. JJ smiled. She'd long since gotten used to Emily's intensity. Emily ran her hand across JJ's cheek for a brief moment before turning and leaving the room. JJ listened to the front door closing in the distance.

The rest of the morning was a blur. JJ went through her routines mindlessly. Her thoughts were elsewhere. Now, in the bright light of day, she couldn't escape the fact that Spencer was in jail, Emily was losing sleep, and she felt like the rug was being pulled out from under her. Penelope's gentle hand on her shoulder brought her out of her thoughts.

"I got a change of clothes for him," JJ mumbled.

"Did you see him?" Penelope asked quickly. JJ shook her head.

"No, Emily took them. She's meeting with a lawyer this morning… She said he was finally getting a little sleep. Part of me's glad I didn't see him locked up. I don't think I could take it."

Emily slowly approached Spencer. He looked like hell. She hadn't expected anything else after sleeping in a holding cell.

"Hey."

"You should be in the office," he countered immediately.

"I'm right where I need to be," she said back pointedly. Spencer seemed to relent a little bit. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm okay. How's my mom doing?"

"She's doing well. JJ's been by to visit every day since your arrest. She explained everything to your mom. Cassie's been great. That makes a big difference."

"But what about Henry and Michael? You and JJ -"

"Spence - please, you don't need to worry about that."

"I'm such an idiot."

"Don't, Spencer, don't. You were trying to help your mother."

"I fell right into Scratch's trap."

"He won't win. We'll keep fighting."

"I don't even have a lawyer."

"About that - I have a friend, Fiona Duncan. I've known her forever. Her father was in the foreign service, and we met in Italy. Now she's one of the best defense attorneys in DC. I would like it if you would let me reach out to her about representing you."

"Emily, I really, I appreciate it, but you helping me could destroy your reputation at the Bureau."

"My battle, my choice," she said sternly. Did Spencer really think that she would just let him go down for a crime he didn't commit? "Please, let me help you. Tell me I can reach out to my friend."

Spencer stared back at her for a long moment before a sad smile graced his lips, "Thank you," he said softly.

As she sat with Fiona she couldn't help but flashback to their time in Italy. JJ knew - but most people didn't know the full story. Not even her mother. But then again, there were a lot of things Elizabeth didn't know about her.

She'd met Fiona right after Matthew and she returned to Rome. John was avoiding her and Matthew was beginning to go down a path she couldn't follow. Emily was lonely. Until she became friends with Fiona. And then eventually more than friends… Emily noticed Fiona's eyes linger on her wedding ring, but she didn't say anything about it.

"I was surprised you settled down in Washington," Emily said, setting down a fresh mug of coffee in front of Fiona.

"Yeah, I guess I got tired of wandering," she said with a smile. "DC's always been home. And after law school, you know, I realized all I wanted was to come home."

Emily didn't know what to make of the look in her eyes. She swallowed and continued. "I'm glad you did. Spencer is being framed. It's a long story, and I will fill you in, but I need you to know he didn't kill anyone."

"I'll be happy to sit down with him. Let's see how it goes and we'll take it from there."

"He's innocent, Fiona. That has to count for something."

"The fact that you have so much faith in him counts for a lot with me."

"Thank you."

JJ glanced through the glass and into the Florida precinct. She watched her team - what was left of them. Without Spencer and Emily there nothing felt right. It was all incomplete. She looked down at her phone, checking again for news. Nothing. Emily hadn't called or texted all day. She tried to think positively about it. Emily was probably just busy helping Spencer. She was supposed to be meeting with a lawyer today. She hesitated but ended up calling Emily. It took her off guard when she answered in the first ring.

"Hey," Emily said quickly. She sounded a lot distracted. Maybe even worried?

"Hey… I'm just checking in. I haven't heard from you in a while. Is Spence okay?"

"Yeah he's - he's okay. My friend agreed to represent him."

"That's a good first step," JJ said, sighing with relief.

"Yeah, it is." JJ scrunched her eyebrows. Emily sounded off. "JJ, there's something I haven't told you and -" Emily stopped in the middle of her sentence. She seemed to be talking to someone else. JJ listened carefully, but she couldn't make out any of the words. "Jay, I have to go. Love you."

Emily hung up before JJ even had the chance to respond. She slowly brought the phone away from her ear. She almost regretted calling Emily now - she felt more anxious than she had five minutes ago. JJ slipped her phone into her back pocket and shook her head. She needed to focus - she had a case to work.

"I'm not taking the offer. I understand what's at stake. I'm not taking it."

The last time Emily had this feeling was when JJ had been abducted. It was a sinking, crippling dread that relentlessly tormented her mind. She'd hoped she'd never feel this way again. And yet, here she was. But the only way was through. She promised she'd get Spencer through this. He was looking at a minimum of five years in prison. And if this went to trial and he was found guilty - 25 years. She couldn't wrap her mind around that. What would she tell the team? What would happen to his mother? What would JJ and she tell their children? How would they explain to them that Uncle Spencer wouldn't be coming around anymore?

"May I have a moment alone with Spencer, please?"

Fiona left the room and Emily turned back towards Spencer. He stood and walked across the room to get away from her searing gaze. But she followed him closely.

"Spence, turn around. Please?" He did. He looked like a little boy, he was so scared. "Please, just think about it. Think about the evidence."

"You think they'll convict me?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "But if they do… 5 years - that's doable. You are young. You can have a life after that."

"Not as an FBI Agent. I'd be a convicted felon. The FBI is my home. It's where I belong."

"You don't belong in prison. And if you play Russian Roulette with this… 25 years. That is a lifetime. Michael and Henry will be what - 27?"

"Closer to 28," he muttered dejectedly. It still made her smile though. "If Scratch is framing me, you guys will get him. I know you will."

"Yes, we will. I promise you we will never give up. And we will exonerate you. But what if we can't do that this week? Or this year? Or this… decade? Because I know we can't do it before your arraignment."

"What do I do?"

"I don't know. But I'm scared for you."

"So am I," he said softly. His lip quivered in fear. Emily reached out to touch his arm gently and then immediately pulled him into her arms. He cried quietly for a few minutes, letting Emily comfort him.

JJ turned away from the alarm clock. 10:30pm. JJ's mind was spinning with what had happened. What a difference 18 hours can make… Spencer was going to jail. He was going to jail for three months to await his trial. There was a very good chance he wouldn't make it three months in there. And if anyone found out he was FBI, he would have a huge target on his back. If they lost him like that - she'd never be the same.

But that wasn't the only thing on her mind. It took a minute for JJ to put it together, but Spencer's lawyer seemed so familiar to her. Then the pieces clicked. There was an old picture of her with Emily. She looked older - but it was definitely her. It was her. Emily's first girlfriend.

"Jay, if you have something to say, please just say it," Emily muttered tiredly. They'd been in bed for nearly half an hour, both exhausted, but neither of them were close to sleep. JJ was staring up at the ceiling. Emily had her eyes closed, but JJ's silence was distracting. It was keeping her awake.

"Why didn't you tell me that Spence's lawyer was Fiona Duncan?"

Emily opened her eyes quickly and turned her head towards her wife. JJ was already looking back at her. Even though JJ hated that she was feeling that way, she knew it was jealousy. Not because she thought Emily would ever be unfaithful - she had absolute faith in her. No, she was jealous because, in order to prove Spencer's innocence, Emily was going to have to spend more time with Fiona Duncan than her own wife.

"She's a great lawyer - this case is not going to be easy. And she's one of about a handful of people who could actually win it."

"Why did you keep it a secret?" JJ asked again.

"It wasn't a secret," Emily countered quickly.

"She was the one that called you this morning… Right?"

Emily didn't answer. Yes. Fiona was the one she was on the phone with - while JJ's hands were feeling her up, and her mouth was placing sloppy, heavy kisses on her neck. It would be a lie if she said it didn't feel strange to talk to her while JJ was kissing her like that. But Emily knew that's not what this was really about.

"You have a problem with her being Spencer's lawyer?"

"It's not that she's Spence's lawyer - it's that you thought you had to hide it. Why did you think you had to keep that a secret from me?" JJ's voice was slight, but stern. Emily turned her head away to stare up at the ceiling again. She felt the shame sinking in. JJ was right.

"Things haven't been easy with us lately -"

"And you thought… what? I wouldn't trust you?"

"No…" Emily said slowly.

"Do I have a reason not to trust you?"

This time Emily didn't answer - her face said it all. She shook her head in disbelief, "What are we doing, JJ?"

"I don't know," she admitted softly. "I'm scared about Spence and I'm worried about us and I don't know what to do with any of it…"

Emily shifted onto her side, facing JJ. She took JJ's hand and brought it to her lips, staring compassionately into her eyes. "I know it feels like everything is coming apart… but we can get through this… I'm choosing to believe that we'll get through this."

After a beat, JJ shifted to face Emily. She stared into her eyes. Emily watched a smile grow across JJ's face. It flooded her with relief.

"You know what your son said today?"

Emily smiled slowly back at her wife. "Which one?"

"Michael," she answered with a small laugh. "He told me 'Mommy, I'm a grown up now. I get to tell you and mommy and Uncle Spence what to do now.'"

Emily grinned and laughed softly. "Yeah, that sounds like Michael…"

"I swear he's your son," JJ responded with a grin.

"Well, at least we have some time before they're teenagers…" Emily responded. JJ's smile faded slowly. Emily waited for her to speak.

"What are they going to remember about him in 15 years?"

Emily's smile dropped immediately. "We won't let them forget," she said intensely. "And we won't give up."

JJ placed a hand on Emily's cheek. She was so thankful for her. She didn't know what she'd do without her support. Emily watched as emotion took over her wife's features. "I love you," JJ whispered. Tears were filling her eyes, her lower lip trembling. She was holding on by a thread.

"Come here," Emily said, pulling her into her chest. JJ ducked her head under Emily's chin and pulled herself in until her forehead touched her wife's chest. Emily ran her hand up and down JJ's back.