Chapter 36: Knocked the Family Right Out
"The bonds that unite us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems that the ties have been broken. Some ties challenge distance, time, and logic. Because some ties simply must exist."
- Grey's Anatomy
Pregnant. Uncertainty turned to certainty in less than 24 hours. 4 weeks pregnant, with an apparently good and healthy pregnancy. Everything was right.
Of course, Erin had to ask the doctor more than a thousand times if the baby was really okay. Given her history, she couldn't be blamed. She actually blamed herself because she drank alcohol while she was pregnant.
She was reassured by the obstetrician and the nurse. April, already a colleague for years, and Doctor Claire, seemed totally fine with Erin and Jay asking question after question.
- Rarely does someone who has suffered a miscarriage suffer again. And I'm not saying you're free from it, but I'm not going to scare you. Less than 5% of women who have suffered a miscarriage suffer again. You're healthy Erin. Your body is healthy. Your miscarriage does not affect your pregnancy now and your drinking alcohol did not harm the baby, but from now on it is good to avoid it until after you stop breastfeeding.
Another question she had was how? How she got pregnant. She remembered the physical, natural and pleasurable way she got pregnant and she knew the story of how a woman got pregnant. What she didn't understand was how she got pregnant with the contraceptive method. Erin said she went back to taking it religiously after she started having sex again.
- Well, contraceptives take some time to take effect. And your baby went faster than the medicine. - the doctor smiles kindly at them. - You don't need to worry about that either, if you continued taking it, it won't harm your baby's development, ok? - Jay and Erin are calmer. - Generally, after the loss of a pregnancy. The next baby is known as the rainbow baby. What comes after a storm, then considering your smile. I can congratulate them. - she says they nod. Yes, they were very happy.
Jay and Erin spent more time being guided about what they should expect, about the next few months and knowing Erin's history, she also asked Lindsay to take it easy and avoid stress. As soon as they left the office, they scheduled her next appointment.
It was funny how this was the only right thing for them at the moment. They just didn't see each other for almost 4 years. To meet again for a work case and her help which should be in 6 months. And here they were, living together, a 4-year-old daughter, expecting another baby and newlyweds.
They didn't know where they were going to live, they didn't know what their next step would be, but they were happy. That was all they ever wanted to have with each other and even though nothing went as planned, they were happy because they were together.
At first, they decided on 4 things. The first was to arrange a dinner with Will and let the team know that he had been promoted to sergeant and that they were engaged. The second thing was that they would have to tell Hank all the news. All three news Jay couldn't hope for any better, but he was sure Voight wouldn't be all that happy for them. The third and fourth thing was that they needed to talk and sort out their lives. They would now have to choose where they would live and also decided not to tell Charlotte about the pregnancy. She heard their conversation from the night before, but didn't quite understand it and neither of them told her that there was a baby in Erin's belly. They thought it was still too early and they wanted to be sure first.
The team was getting ready to stand up and congratulate the team's newest sergeant, but they received news of their engagement. So the celebration was double and they were hugged and congratulated by the team.
It was really good that they went out the night before, the mood at work seemed a lot lighter now. And Vanessa and Dante finally felt like they belonged to the team and not like they were being left out. Plus they apparently seemed comfortable enough to make jokes.
- We should have bet on that. - Adam says sitting down after hugging his friends.
- You're the first person I know who likes to lose money, man. - Kevin says as he walks away from Lindsay after giving her a big brother bear hug. - I'm happy for you Linds.
- Thanks Kev. - She smiles, patting his waist as he goes to Jay.
- Congratulations, bro. Take good care of our girl. - he says and looks fondly at Erin. Kevin was always like a big brother and had enormous affection for them. Jay smiles at him and nods.
- You chose well Jay. -Kim says while she admired the ring. - I'm not talking about the ring. - she winks at him.
- I would win. I've been engaged three times, I should have seen it coming. - Adam returns to the subject as soon as everyone finishes congratulating them.
- And what exactly does that mean? - Jay squints at him.
- I have experience. - he says and Erin looks at him, she was judging him and he looks at Kim. He realizes he should shut up.
- What a shame, I thought you were going to make us guess.
- With that ring?
- Yes, we would create theories and debate what it meant, since you like to hide things. - Kim raises her eyebrows and everyone laughs.
- I expected more, maybe to be invited to the wedding on the day.
- It would be a good... - Jay is interrupted by Erin's cell phone ringing.
- We have a personal case. - she warns and the subject dies as they get up and grab their coats. Winter was already approaching and the windy city was getting colder every day.
The end of the day has arrived and so has work. They decided not to tell the team about the pregnancy yet. They wanted to keep it with them for a while. Besides the fact that it would probably be too much information for just one day.
They picked up Charlotte and headed to Hank's house. Erin already knew what to expect, but decided that Voight was part of her life, whether she judged her or not. And she was happy. Since she returned it was as if everything that was missing in her life was finally filled. She learned to love NY. She loves Nick and Tess and she still kept in touch with them almost every day. In fact, they were the first ones she told that she was back with Jay. They freaked out and said they knew and it was just a matter of time, but until the last time she checked they at least weren't placing bets. However, even though I also consider them family, being in Chicago, being with Jay was different. She knew that if she moved with Jay to NY, she wouldn't lose contact with the Chicago team anymore and maybe that was the point of coming back. Having her family close by, even if perhaps from far away.
Erin and Jay decided to break the good news to Hank, but the pregnancy would only be mentioned depending on how he was doing. Erin didn't want to fight, much less get stressed.
- Grandpa Hank...
- Hey pumpkin. I missed you. - he says, taking the girl on his lap and kissing her face.
It was strange for Jay to see Hank being so affectionate with his daughter. The man was always rude and he knew how Hank was at work and it was funny how completely opposite he could be when it came to that little one. Voight at work would certainly scare his little girl who was still very innocent of the evils of the world, but Grandpa Voight had smiles, cooked, played and made forts with sheets and chairs in the living room of his house.
Jay and Erin walk in together and just by the way they're standing, Voight knows they're together. He already knew this from the day Lindsay left home. She never stopped visiting him, or taking Charlotte to see him, but Jay was never mentioned. Not until the girl needed to tell her that Jay was her daddy a few nights ago.
Hank was no wizard with a crystal ball or could predict the future, but he clearly had a lot of experience in this life. Erin and Jay didn't show up there to say they were dating. They already knew how Voight didn't approve and were too stubborn to understand where the man was coming from.
He knew that it would be very unlikely for Erin to say that her job in Chicago was over and that as soon as Jay entered intelligence she would return to NY with her daughter. Just by the look on her and Halstead's faces, if there was one thing they wouldn't do, it was live in separate states.
At first they could even fit in as a normal family. The daughter visiting her father with her husband and daughter. They played with the child, had dinner being informed that Voight was better and that he was ready to go back to work and he even shared that he was thinking about going back to work. Voight wasn't a man who sat behind a desk working. He liked to take to the streets, beat criminals, interrogate about torture and threats and go completely against the books.
- I didn't imagine you would want to be behind a desk. - Erin comments stroking Charlotte's hair. It was already time for her to sleep and she was getting tired, but still listening to the conversation.
- Mom, he's behind a table. - she says, eliciting a sincere laugh from the three present.
- I don't want to, but it's better than staying at home all day, but first I'm going to spend a few days with Daniel and Olive. - Hank says and Erin nods. Their relationship with Olive wasn't the best, she didn't take Daniel to Chicago, but at least she didn't stop them from visiting the child.
- Have you achieved anything yet?
- Nothing yet, but I was offered an office job and I don't want it. I want something that I can at least move around in. I was thinking about training too.
- This is a good idea. You have experience and everyone wants you to tutor them. - Jay says and Voight just nods.
- Daddy, I want water. - Charlotte says, she was clearly struggling with sleep and was too young to notice the looks the adults exchanged.
Jay didn't even care, he got up and got water for his daughter. He was already familiar with the house and whether Hank liked it or not, he was going to have to accept Jay, as the now sergeant wasn't thinking about going anywhere anytime soon.
- Come here, little one. -Jay pulls her into her arms as soon as she finishes the water and lays her down. He was going to rock her until she fell asleep and she gladly accepted that. She already had four, but he loved that he could still do this to her.
- Are you going to NY or are you staying? - he says with Jay still in the room.
- We haven't decided yet. Let's see the options. - she makes the plural clear.
- You know Chicago isn't good for you.
- The city is not to blame for my problems, Hank. And the people who live in it make me good. And I'm right here, even if you don't mind asking.
- I know you're fine, I don't need to ask.
- It's good, for a change, since you like to always judge me. And I've already said that we haven't decided yet. - Jay was standing and rocking Charlotte from side to side and didn't leave because even though they were both arguing, they were speaking in a normal tone of voice.
- Me not agreeing with your choices is not judging you. Like I said, I know you're fine, I just don't want you to regret it down the line, but...
- But nothing, Hank. - Jay interrupts him immediately. - I'm tired of hearing you say that in your own experience you suffered and made others suffer because of your choices... - Jay speaks quietly, but his voice is firm enough for him and Erin to hear. He only started talking because besides noticing that Charlotte really just needed to be rocked to finally surrender to sleep, he knew that Hank was going to be like a broken record. - Your choices are your choices. Mine and Erin's is to be together, to be a family, whether you like it or not. And I'll tell you Hank, do you know the difference between me and Erin and you? Our family comes first.
-Jay...
- You put your work first and you regret it, you just don't admit it. - he ignores his fiancée. - And do you know why I understand Erin still wanting you in her life? It's her choices, she's grateful that you saved her life, for which I will be eternally grateful too. And for years I thought my father didn't support me, until the day he died and I discovered that he admired me, so Hank, I'll give you a tip. - Jay gets a little closer. His hand covering his daughter's ear. - I hope you put aside all this wisdom and enjoy it while they're here, you may not like me with your daughter, but I'm not going anywhere. Because Lindsay and I are engaged, she's pregnant and I agree with you that we may die along the way, but we won't stop living just because the worst could happen.
- You are pregnant? - He looks at Lindsay who had tears in her eyes and nods.
Jay was right. He chose work and lost his family, but he also saw Jay kidnapped and shot more times than he wanted to and Lindsay didn't know how to deal with the loss of those she loved and he saw how much she loved Jay and he didn't even want to imagine the what would happen if she lost Jay or Charlotte.
Jay was also right because he put everything above his family. He was a man alone. He knew that they weren't choices that depended on him, but he was a man alone and regretted not having dedicated more time to those he loved and maybe the fact that Jay said that his family would come first changed something in him. Because over the years, his threats have always been enough for Erin or Jay to walk away. Over the years Jay had respected the rules, because Lindsay respected him too much to go against them, but now it wasn't about his daughter or his family anymore. Now it was about her and her family.
Lindsay was simply grateful for what he did for her, but she was no longer taking his advice lying down. She always came back to Halstead in some way and now he knew that no amount of opinion could keep them away. Not when Voight realized they had always been family. That even after years apart they haven't forgotten their feelings for each other.
Jay was right, because before Erin accepted his rules because she didn't feel worthy of being in a relationship. She didn't think she deserved Jay or was ready for him, but now she had no doubts and Hank knew that if he made her choose, he would lose, every time, because now it was Jay. Now it was her family and it took him too long to realize that Lindsay and Jay were going to be together, whether he agreed or not, because they had both already broken each other's hearts. They both already saved each other's lives and proved that they would die for each other and thinking now, no matter how lonely he feels, he wouldn't choose any other life than being Camille's husband, Justin's father, Lindsay's pseudo father and Daniel's grandmother, Charlotte and the baby she was expecting.
He realized all this, but he was too proud to tell them.
- I'm happy for you girl. - he gets up. - Congratulations on being promoted to sergeant. I always knew you would get there.
He says, but doesn't congratulate him on his engagement or the baby. As if Lindsay had done it herself. It was when silence settled that everyone knew it was time to end the night.
The night with Hank may have ended, but not the couple's. Jay was silent, afraid of Lindsay's reaction, she had caught his attention, a clear indication that he was supposed to stop and he didn't.
- I think you opened his eyes. - Erin says as soon as Jay sits in the driver's seat after placing Charlotte properly in the car seat.
- What? - Jay asks a bit surprised.
- I think he heard you.
- No I do not think. - he says, starting off.
- Jay, he's proud, of course he wasn't going to say that out loud, but I saw it when he looked at you. It was respect, respect for defending your family. - Jay stares at her, it was kind of hard to believe that. - I think he realized that this time we weren't giving up, that nothing he said would push us away and well, you telling him about the pregnancy affected him, I also saw it in his eyes. The way he looked at me.
- Can you understand all this just by looking? - he questions.
- It's not just the look, it's the behavior and title it later. I know him, just as I know you. I knew you wouldn't stop.
- Aren't you angry? - he says, stopping the car in the garage.
- In truth no. - She looks at him. - You were defending your family. I can accept this. - She reaches out her hand and takes his.
- I will always defend you.
- I know and that's one of the reasons I love you. I saw you covering our daughter's ears and I'm going to tell you that I was impressed by you in dad mode in action. He managed to make Charlotte sleep and still fight without waking her up. You look sexy in overprotective daddy mode. -Jay smiles, besides not being angry she was still flirting, it was her lucky day. - If you can put her to bed without waking her, I think we can celebrate our engagement and I can show that I'm not angry at all... - she whispers to him and he nods in appreciation and kisses her lips .
- But actually, if I can get her to bed, we'll have a talk about where we'll stay.
- We can have this conversation after sexy daddy celebrates with mommy... - she says kissing his smile.
- Okay... I like that idea. - he smiles at her and kisses her once more before walking away.
Putting Charlotte to sleep was never a problem, she didn't have much trouble sleeping and that was a good thing. They as parents appreciated that.
-I think she's just like you, she loves sleeping. - Jay says entering their room.
- What's my fault if she knows what's good? - she answers from the bathroom. Jay enters to find her undressing.
- So I'm going to let you sleep today, so you can enjoy more sleep. - He says from the bathroom door, but she wasn't going to play his game.
- Okay. - She says in a low and hoarse voice, that she knew she messed with him, while she stood in front of him and took off her bra. - Jay looks at her in just her panties. - If you don't want to keep me company, that's fine. - She takes off her panties and walks slowly and completely naked towards him and holds the door to close it. - Good nig... - she didn't have time to finish. Jay immediately picked her up and with one arm lifted her, placing her on her lap and kissing her. Erin giggles into the kiss and moans as her bare bottom touches the cold sink counter.
It didn't take long for them both to find their way to each other right there on the counter and then once again in the shower, with Erin's back against the tile and the sound of the water muffled the moans.
They knew they had to talk about where they were going to stay, but when Erin had a shirtless Jay lying in bed, she turned the conversation to another topic, one she had been refusing to ask about since the first time she had access to his body after who returned.
- You have a lot of new scars.
- You can't remember them all. -He lets her explore her body.
- Can I. - she says and leans closer, she gives him a peck and directs her lips to one on his shoulder. - the only one I'm grateful for, this one brought you to me. - it was the shot he took at Molly's. - You didn't have the one you have on your back. - she says, unable to kiss him because he is leaning against the bed.
Jay didn't want to tell her about his scars, he didn't want to make her sad, because he knew she would be.
- I don't want you to think about it, I don't want you to be sad. I'm fine and that's what matters. - He caresses her face and pulls her in for a kiss.
- I want to know, I want to know about each one. Every time I could have lost you but I didn't. And then I can kiss and thank you that you're still here. - she says and this wasn't new for him, she had been doing this since they got back since he was kidnapped. She kissed the torture scars and that was precisely why it worked, because he remembered her kissing him, obviously not to get better, because he could think and remember other things instead of just remembering the scars. However, just as he was about to say it he looked into her eyes.
- You are hiding something from me. - he says and moves his face away to look at her. - What did you do? - he smiles at her. - I almost fell into your distraction.
- It wasn't a distraction, I really wanted to know. - she responds.
- You'll have time for that. Now our time to decide what to do is short. Why don't you want to talk?
- Because I think you won't like what I did. - she confesses.
- And what did you do? - he asks. She was looking into his eyes. She wasn't regretting her decision, but she knows he'll be upset that she did it without even talking to him first.
- I quit. I don't work for the FBI anymore. Actually, I still have to resolve some things, but I resigned.
- Erin...
- You were right. You said it yourself earlier. That we don't put our work first, but our family. Jay, we could think about this if I weren't pregnant, but from the moment I found out about the pregnancy I knew I wasn't going back to NY. Not because I didn't want to or not because I want to give up working, but because I would have to spend some more time without working and I'll tell you that if Marshall is too good to leave me, the internal affairs department wouldn't be. I was absent when I took Charlotte's protective custody because she was very late. Then again because of COVID. Now, because of the case and Voight and I'm going to ask for leave in 6 months because of the pregnancy, I'm sure they're going to fire me.
- They can't fire pregnant women. - Jay reminds her.
- But they can after I have the baby. They could fire me for fear that I would ask for another type of personal leave. Look, Nick is my incredible successor. And here the Ivory Tower already wanted me back. I can look for a job here, but I want to take it slow. For our baby. - she says and Jay was angry, angry that she was always having to give up everything. - Hey... - she caresses his face. - I am happy here, Charlotte is happy here and knowing that she will be able to call Chicago home too and having a good childhood is all we need. She and this baby. - Erin takes Jay's hand and passes it on her belly. - Besides, I don't want Hank to be alone.
- It's just that I think you're having to give up everything, again.
- Last time I saw, I had the doors open for a new job. With a resume as a detective, sergeant, lieutenant and federal agent. I worked for Intelligence, FBI narcotics, FBI counterterrorism, FBI crime against children branch and an excellent partnership with the SVU and the Los Angeles police and FBI. I'm not quitting being a cop, babe. - She smiles at him.
- And I thought it was the suit that turned me on. - He teases.
- If I were to choose, we would live in California, Charlotte and I love the beach, but I'm not giving up on anything this time. I'm making a choice for us. For our family. For this baby, for Charlotte and for you. I'll be able to take care of Hank, he'll be able to grow up close to his grandchildren. You can be an amazing sergeant in intelligence and if I don't get a job, you can practice nepotism. - She arches her eyebrows at him.
- You thought of everything, didn't you.
- He was. Because I knew that if we didn't decide today, you would hold a meeting with Ivory Tower, reneging on your position as intelligence sergeant, and everything we fought for would be lost.
- You have too much empathy in you. - he laughs. It wasn't a complaint.
- But there's too much left for me this time. I was left with two babies and you. - She smiles at him.
- Well, what a shame. I wanted to go to NY and take my girls to see the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.
- I'm glad you still can. I have to go to NY to sort out some things related to my resignation. I could do it online, but I want to tell Nick and Tess they're going to be uncles again in person, thank Marshall for everything he's done for me, and let my fiancé take me out. - she says and he smiles at her.
- I think we have a deal then.
- Yes, we have...
Manhattan, NY - Dez/2021
Their trip would be short. Just like the last time they were in NY, they had to be back in Chicago by Monday. This time, because it was Halstead who would take over the intelligence. She remembers how they flew to NY back then being mistaken as a family.
- I think everyone always knew, including us, we just hadn't admitted it yet. - Jay says reminding her.
- I'm glad we admitted it then. I couldn't be happier. - She smiles at him.
- Neither do I, mommy. - Charlotte says.
She was actually very happy when she found out that she would see everyone she knows in NY. The conversation was even much easier than they imagined. They asked her where she wanted to live, in Chicago or NY and the answer was: "with mom and dad." And somehow it was as if she felt that in NY it would be with mom and in Chicago with mom and dad. Then they explained that wherever it was, it would be with the two of them. And his answer was still "with mom and dad." And they smiled, she had to be their daughter. Because Lindsay's answer would be with Charlie and Daddy and Halstead's would be with the Princess and Mommy. Because it didn't matter where, but with whom.
They would stay at Marshall's house, as Lindsay's apartment was being rented by Mackenzie. Marshall made a point. He and his wife had a big, empty house, as their 4 children had grown up.
- Aunt Tessa. - the girl runs into her aunt's arms. As soon as you see it when leaving the airport.
- My God, how you've grown. -Tereza says pulling the girl into her arms. - Where is my baby?
- In mommy's belly. - she tells it as if it were nothing. They probably forgot what a smart kid she was.
- In your mother's belly? - Tess looks at the couple approaching. - What are you talking about baby?
- Mommy is pregnant. - well, apparently she understands.
- Is mom pregnant? - Tess looks at her friend. Wondering if it was true or her daughter asking for a brother.
- Mommy is pregnant. - Erin confirms.
- Oh my God. - Tess approaches and hugs her friend. - I don't believe. - she says hugging her friend with one arm and holding her goddaughter in the other.
- And mommy is engaged too. - Erin walks away showing the ring.
- Damn, you guys are fast. - She opens her eyes wide and looks at Charlotte.
- Damn.
- No, you can't say that.
- Damn. - Tereza looks at Jay and Erin.
- She's in the phase where she repeats everything. - Erin explains to her friend. - And if you prohibit it, it will only repeat itself. - Erin reassures her, even though she wants to laugh, she didn't want Charlotte to think this behavior was funny. So they just ignore it.
- I'm happy for you, but seriously in September you weren't even together. -she says remembering that she almost caught them kissing. Erin shrugs.
- It happens. The baby was not planned.
- It doesn't matter. I knew that sooner or later this would end up happening. - she says and hugs Jay too. - I think it's a triple congratulations for you. - he thanks her and gives her a gentle smile. - Now Nick is going to fight me for making him wait.
- Uncle Nick!
- Yes, Uncle Nick. He misses you too.
When they left, Nick was already waiting outside in the car. They didn't pay for parking because it wasn't worth it since they didn't have luggage. So they were quick.
- Uncle Nick. - The girl screams and runs into the blonde's arms as soon as she is placed on the floor.
Jay laughs watching the scene remembering that he didn't like the guy being so close and now he was, 9 months later, being called daddy. While Nick remained just Uncle Nick. He never had to worry, Erin and him were just friends. He just didn't know it at the time.
- Pregnant? - Nick asks as the three approach.
- Someone's talking today, huh? - Erin shakes her daughter's leg.
- And bride. - Tess says.
- 2 months?
- What do you have with time? - Erin says and they look at her.
- Anything. It's just that for those who had nothing, now you have everything. The last time we visited you, you lived at your father's house, you were single and the mother of one. - Tess reminds her.
- Now she lives with Jay, is engaged and is a mother of two. - Nick completes.
- Things went according to plan. - Erin says hugging Jay.
- I'm glad so, then. - Tess says hugging her friend, even though she was hugging Jay.
- Let's go, before time passes and I have to pay for parking. - Nick says and they enter. - Sophie wants us to have dinner together before you leave.
- Let's go Sunday night. - Jay answers for them.
- I know you're having dinner with Marshall today, do you have plans for tomorrow?
- Let's take Charlie to see the Christmas tree.
- If it doesn't bother you, we can have dinner or even lunch first.
- If you want to join us. Will be nice. I doubt they don't need to buy Christmas decorations.
- We don't want to disturb you. - Tess says.
- It won't get in the way. - Erin responds, knowing that there's no problem for Jay either. - We've come to spend some time with you.
- So it's a deal.
They arrive at Marshall's house and are welcomed by him, his wife and the other three children.
Jay was duly introduced as her fiancé to the family he just met. Marta, wife. And the three children, Miguel, who was the youngest son, was 24 years old and was finishing college. Hector, who was 39, was the eldest son, married with 2 children, the couple's second daughter, Maria who was Erin's age and was married with 3 children. And Tereza, who was 30 years old and currently single.
Jay loved his family. They were a big family, they all lived close by in the same city, which was a rare thing. Besides, they were close. It was difficult to see a family like that. Everyone so united and close. No tragedies or horrible stories like they always saw. Jay and Erin already had a very sad story, Jay wanted that for their future. A full house, a united family and everyone is well and healthy. He hopes he's not asking too much.
- She slept. -Erin says to Jay as she puts her daughter in the mini bed they got. That was the advantage of being in a house with five grandparents.
- She was tired, today was a very busy day for her. - he says, making room for her to join him on the bed. And he was right. Charlotte had a pediatrician who said she had just reached the 1 meter height mark. She went to daycare, played in the district, on the playground, went on a trip and even played with her mother's friends' children. So she was exhausted.
- Yes and from now on, we have to be careful about what we tell her or say around her. She is very observant.
- You are right. We need to talk about the baby in mommy's belly.
- I think it's funny that she didn't ask us. - Erin comments.
-Maybe she just knows, but she doesn't fully understand.
- Could it be. - she says and smiles at him. - I'm happy to be here. I missed everyone. - she says.
- I noticed and they from you. You are a big family. 90% being thanks to Marshall. - Jay says, since Nick was the only one outside with his girlfriend.
- Yes... and let's not lose contact. - She looks at Jay, already imagining what he could say. - Also, Sophie and Nick's family are from here. Not all, but the majority. And you saw, Tess has a huge family here. Let's all be fine.
- I said nothing.
- But I was going to say it. - she points and he smiles at her.
- You know... I never told anyone, because at the time I didn't want to admit it, not even to myself, but the night I met Charlotte and Nick showed up all helpful, I got jealous. I thought you guys could be a family.
- No... - Erin shakes her head. - He always loved Sophie and it was only a matter of time before he got back to her. And I loved you, I just didn't know if I would come back to you.
- Good that you came back. - he smiles at her. - So you and Nick never had anything? - Jay asks just to clear his conscience, already knowing the answer.
- I don't think you want to know. - Lindsay doesn't look at him and he realizes that no, he didn't know the answer.
- Have you already stayed?
- Jay, what's that for? - she says, not wanting to bring up the subject.
- Nothing, I'm not jealous, I just didn't think you were with him. You said about his girlfriend and about me, I thought it never happened. If I knew I wouldn't ask.
- If you thought nothing had happened, why did you ask?
- It was just so I could be sure and not have that doubt, but I didn't want to be that sure.
- Hey... why all this drama? You dated your partner after me.
- You never dated him? - Jay asks.
- No. - she responds quickly.
- When was it?
- Do you really want to have this conversation?
- Just answer.
- When we met in quantum. I suffered and drank for you. He suffered and drank for Sophie. It rolled.
- So it was a unique thing. - Jay decides, already relieved, but Erin didn't seem to agree. - It wasn't a one-time thing.
- Jay, I had sex after we broke up. What's the problem with that?
- It's no problem at all. But I would like to know. I was nice to him.
- If you knew, wouldn't you be nice to him? - Erin laughs at him jealously. - I was nice to Hailey.
- But you knew.
- Of course, because when we dated before we talked about our other relationships. - she says, but not throwing it in his face about Abby or him thinking about it, but about talking about other partners.
- It's not that. - he responds quickly. - I felt threatened by him, okay. You are good friends and my daughter likes him. I'm jealous. - he confesses and Erin laughs.
- Threatened? When exactly? Because at the time you met him you were dating Hailey and now we're engaged and he's dating. - She looks at him for answers.
- And do I control my feelings? Are you going to tell me you didn't feel threatened by Hailey?
- I was single. And she said she was going to marry you and that she was pregnant. I didn't have much of a choice. Nick was Uncle Nick. - Erin says.
- Do you now want to control my feelings just because you are more mature than me? - she laughs again.
- No. I'm just amused that you're jealous of something that happened years ago. I didn't judge you by Hailey and I was jealous.
- I'm not judging you. Now I'm fine. It's just bad not knowing beforehand. - She arches her eyebrow. - Okay, I'll shut up. - now they both think about Abby.
- It's even better. - she says, still amused. Maybe if it had been at another time or if he had been angry, she might not have taken this matter as a joke, but she saw how it was just stupid jealousy. She was also jealous of Hailey. Much more than Jay. -I was jealous of Hailey just because she was her partner. Seeing you two kissing outside the FBI wasn't cool.
- I didn't know you had seen it.
- So it is. And you're crying over something stupid. - she responds. Maybe being a little affected by him picking on Nick, given that she already had Abby and after Camila and Hailey broke up. She lived a very intense life, and remembers that Jay caught her with Landon once. They were mature enough to understand that they were single and could have a relationship with whoever they wanted.
- Hey. I'm not angry. I don't even have that right. - Jay leans in and kisses her. - Don't get mad just because I'm an idiot.
- I'm not angry.
- He wants to stay. You must be thinking about all the shit I've done. Just to stay.
- Maybe. - she pouts.
- Do not stay. I only asked because of the way you said it. It's none of my business and if you didn't want to respond. You know you didn't have to.
- I know.
- We are fine?
- No. - she says seriously, holding back a laugh. He leans in and kisses her.
- And now?
- No. - she replies. - You won't win me with s-e-x - She says, afraid of Charlotte hearing.
- I wasn't going to try. - he says and kisses her once again. - But maybe I can take care of the dishes for the next two weeks, my incredibly sexy and hot bride can get a massage with no ulterior motives and I can cook for you.
- I'll think about your case.
- God, this baby won't be as difficult to conquer as his mother. - Jay says and she laughs. - Hey Baby. - Jay goes down to her belly. - Tell mom that in the next 8 months I will fulfill all the wishes you and she have.
- You're an idiot, you know that? - she wasn't even angry. - I think I'll get angry more often.
- Are you going to use me?
- You only realized that now? - She pulls him up and kisses him. - I love you.
Erin and Jay decided to visit Olivia and the team. It had been a while since they had seen each other and she was sure that Olivia would love answers about Hank's condition.
- We don't want to get in the way. They said you were calm and that we could go up. - Erin says entering the SVU office.
- You never get in the way. It's great to see you. - Olivia says, approaching to hug Lindsay while the others approached to greet the three.
- I say the same. - Erin says smiling at Olivia. Since she moved to NY, even though they weren't as close, they also saw each other occasionally.
- Hi little one. My God, how you've grown. - she says, bending down to talk to Charlotte.
Erin doesn't even realize how a few months make a difference when it comes to a child. Everyone who met Charlotte had the same phrase. They were shocked that she was bigger and even more talkative.
- Now I'm 4 years old. - she says showing her little fingers. It was the answer she came up with for everyone's phrase. She adored Olivia.
- Very large. Noah misses you too. How long are you going to stay here? - Olivia asks, getting up and pulling the girl into her arms.
- Only until tomorrow. - Erin says after pulling away from Fin's hug.
- I heard we have a new sergeant. - Tutuola says congratulating Jay.
- Thanks man.
- Only until tomorrow? Why so fast?
- I'll start on Monday. - Jay says hugging Olivia.
- Congratulations. If I had known they were coming, I would have arranged for us to leave. - Olivia says.
- And when are you coming back here? - asks Amanda.
- Well, that's one of the reasons I came. I'm not going back, of course, for the tour, but I decided to go back to Chicago. Erin seeing that they weren't that surprised.
- It was always your home, your family. I'm happy for you. - says Olivia.
- Yes. Especially now. - Erin says raising her hand to show the ring as she took a step back to hug Jay.
- Are you going to get married? Congratulations. - Amanda says hugging them both. And she soon turns to Tutuola. - Amaro had to be here to see this. - she says.
- Were you guys betting too?
- No. We already imagined it. It was only a matter of time, we saw that when Jay said you were just friends.
- Jay? - Erin is strange and so is he.
- The first time we worked together. He said you were strong and that he admired you. Amaro and I knew there was something going on. And then in Chicago we were sure.
- Don't pay attention to her. Congratulations. - says Tutuola to them.
- We all already imagined it. - says Olivia.
- Baby in mommy's belly
- Baby in mommy's belly? - Olivia asks the girl. - Baby in mommy's belly? - Olivia looks at Lindsay shocked.
- Yes. - Erin discovered that there are no secrets when you have a super talkative 4 year old. The team in Chicago was the only one left out of the news because they weren't with her when they broke the news. But the decision to wait for the first quarter to end had fallen through.
- You are a surprise box. - Fin said. Everyone laughs. - but is there anything we don't know?
- No, no more surprises. - Jay answers for them.
- Ok. If you're not busy, I want to invite you to lunch. Noah will be happy to see you.
- That's fine with us.
Lunch with Olivia was great. She was happy to hear how well Voight had recovered and that he was already thinking about returning to work.
The children had a little fun while the adults chatted and caught up on the subject. Olivia promising to visit Chicago on a trip not because they were called for a case and Erin and Jay promising the same.
The afternoon was giving way to night when they found themselves in downtown NY with Tess, Nick and Sophie.
- I'm very happy for you. - Erin says as soon as the two reveal that they are also engaged. - Why didn't you tell me that yesterday?
- You told your fiancé, I wanted to do the same.
- That's why you wanted to have dinner with us. - she responds and he nods. It was one of the reasons.
- Baby in mommy's belly? - Charlotte asks Sophie.
- No. No baby in my belly. At least for a while. - Sophie responds to the girl and everyone laughs.
- She wondered. Now she leaves.
Erin didn't forbid her daughter from telling or tell her to keep it a secret, because she was actually happy. She was happy that this time she was having Jay by her side and everyone was really happy for her. That was good, her life was going great.
Chicago, Il - Dez/2021
The problem with life was that it works like a roller coaster. Sometimes you're up there, other times you're down there. Erin and Jay's happiness couldn't last for long. Not when they were being chased.
Bryan couldn't get anything out of Bunny, she simply had no contact with Lindsay, didn't have access to the girl's daycare and knew much less than he did. And he had to act earlier when he was threatened by Bunny.
She threatened him that if he didn't give her money, she would look for Erin and tell her the truth and his only way out was to killed her. He couldn't get anything out of Erin's mother, he didn't even know the real extent of their relationship, but he was scared that someone was looking for her, so he needed to act.
He knew their routine, his only problem was that Charlotte was never alone, anything more than 2 meters away. Bryan even watched them in the park when it was just Jay and Charlotte. Unlike the parents who sat, Jay was on every ride with Charlotte. Standing alert, observing not only the girl but also her surroundings. Bryan was even afraid of being discovered, but it seemed like it was more of a Halstead-as-a-cop type act than anything else.
So, feeling threatened and more confident after killing Bunny, he knew exactly how he could get Charlotte. With the nanny.
They returned from their trip, ready for the routine that had once again changed. There were too many changes for just one year. Jay started the year single and as an intelligence detective. And he was ending the year being engaged, a father of 2 and being the intelligence sergeant. It was more than he wanted 4 years ago and he was happy with it.
He just didn't imagine how everything could change on just his first day.
Erin was officially unemployed, she accepted that, as she decided to focus on looking for a house for the four of them, spending time with Charlotte, since she could. She had a good reserve of money and still received rent. She decided to stop for a year. This way she would make up for the year with Charlotte, since she felt that she spent very little time with her daughter due to work. So, she also knew that from the following year onwards she would have to share her attention with a baby, so Erin even felt grateful for this break.
The routine would be different on Monday, from the other days that would follow, as the nanny would be dismissed.
On Monday Jay went to work like every day, but now he was no longer released at 6pm like before. However, he would be away for a while as he was attending Erin's appointment.
Erin had a meeting with Ivory Tower in the afternoon, so they decided with the nanny that she would pick Charlotte up from daycare, and they would come by some time later to pick her up because they wanted to take her to see the baby.
Bryan waited for Jay to leave to get Charlotte. Which didn't happen and he became desperate, imagining that she had already been caught. He went to Kim and Adam's house and saw the nanny's car there. In other words, she was at Kim's house with Charlotte. Bryan was angry, if he knew it was the babysitter who would pick her up that day, he would probably already be with Charlotte. Now, anyway, he just had to wait.
He knew he had 45 minutes before Jay and Erin discovered the girl was missing and the police would be after him. He kept time. The nanny came down with Charlotte at 5:30 pm, because she was waiting for the other child to arrive at school. And he had about 10 minutes to swat the babysitter and get Charlotte before the schoolboy arrived. And then usually at 6:15pm Jay would arrive. And he would already have to be a good distance away.
It started as planned, 3 minutes early in fact, but he was confident. At 5:27pm he saw the nanny opening the door and letting the 4-year-old girl through. He got out of the car and waited hidden until he could act. He had an iron rod in his hand to hit the woman.
Charlotte was bent down playing with the snow, when Bryan came up from behind and hit Sarah who immediately fell to the ground unconscious due to the force he exerted. Charlotte was scared by the noise and by the woman's body that fell sitting in the snow and was scared when she saw a man approaching her and pulling her by the arms.
Bryan didn't count on the change of plans. He didn't count that Jay and Erin were picking up their daughter early to take her to her mother's appointment. So obviously he didn't imagine that the moment he pulled Charlotte into her arms he would see Erin's speeding car coming towards her.
Change of plans, he needed to run and he needed to run to the alleys where the car wouldn't enter. Luckily for him, he knew there was a forest beyond the lake and it would be easy to cross because the lake was frozen. He needed distance. He needed time to recalculate his route and be able to hide with the girl.
- I think I can do it. They didn't understand very well, but I... What is that? -Erin was telling Jay about the meeting when she observed her daughter being grabbed. Jay only saw when she warned, he was looking at her paying attention to the story.
- ERIN, ACCELERATE.. - in fact he didn't need to say it, as Erin had already realized what was happening and stepped on the accelerator in the same second. Their hearts racing at what they just observed, Charlotte has been kidnapped.
They didn't even have time to notice the unconscious nanny on the floor as they immediately passed by her, but they had a disadvantage because the kidnapper noticed them and ran. She might have been in a car, but from the distance they were, he had enough time to run.
It was just 1 minute, 1 minute that felt like a lifetime.
- STOP! STOP! - Jay knocked on the car panel knowing they would have to continue on foot. They didn't care, they had training for that. Jay didn't even wait for her to stop completely when he got out and started running after his daughter.
Erin wasn't far behind, not caring that the car was running, with the key in the ignition and both doors open. She didn't care about that now and the way she was running after Charlotte only showed that she didn't even remember that she was pregnant.
Jay was a few meters ahead and ran and entered an open space. He noticed where they were, they were in the lake. The guy with his daughter in his arms entered the frozen lake and started running and Jay saw the advantage in that. He had his back turned. Jay immediately drew his gun, he wasn't going to ask the man to stop.
The man turned his body and placed Charlotte crying and struggling in the front line. He took a knife and put it to her neck. He was using Charlotte as a shield and the girl's head was practically covering his. He knew Jay wouldn't hesitate for a second to shoot him in the head.
- If you shoot she dies. - he shouts and to ensure that Jay wouldn't shoot he hit the ground a few times causing a crack in the ice. - if I fall, she comes with me. - Bryan shouts, but everything he said was practically inaudible, first because of Charlotte's crying and second because of the distance. Bryan smiled when he saw Erin arriving close behind.
- Bryan... - he realizes that she recognized him even though he didn't hear her when she said it because of Charlotte. Jay had the gun pointed at him, but was going to wait for him to come out of the lake to shoot. He wasn't scared. There was no way that man could date Charlotte. He would be surrounded in 10 minutes.
- Do you know him? - Jay asks but still with all his focus on his daughter in that crazy man's arms.
- He's her father. - Erin says scared. Bryan was able to kill his wife, he wouldn't mind doing the same to his daughter and what she was sure was stopping him was the fact that if he hurt Charlotte he would undoubtedly die instantly.
They were oblivious to the few passersby watching in fright at the scene. Jay was a few steps away from the lake. Erin behind him. And the man with the child on top of a lake that could break at any moment. Lindsay was without her gun, but it wouldn't be long before the police arrived, as civilians were already making emergency calls.
Bryan wanted to talk a little, but for that, Charlotte needed to shut up. Then with the hand he was holding her he covered her nose and mouth, leaving her hanging in her arms so that she lost consciousness. He did this by slowly walking backwards he knew he couldn't be caught so easily in the forest behind him. Mainly because Jay would have to venture into the lake or go around it and the turnaround was bigger than the lake.
- I'll shoot. - Jay says to Erin watching his daughter lose consciousness. - I jump after her.
- And if you don't get there in time Jay?
- Do not worry. I'm just going to leave her unconscious, she's very important to me. I just can't promise to leave her alive if you shoot. - He cuts the fabric of her cold jacket. - Her skin is more sensitive than this tissue, I could do damage.
- Jay... - Erin says desperately, not knowing how to act.
- Look if the family isn't complete. My daughter, the slut who stole her from me and my little brother who likes to play at being a father. - he says as Charlotte becomes weak in his arms and knows he was heard this time.
- Of course you don't know, your father was never the man to admit that he fucked a prostitute and got her pregnant. - Bryan says and takes a step right on top of a crack that was open on three sides. Before he could continue the ice beneath him gave way.
It didn't take long after Charlotte's kidnapping for the schoolboy to arrive. The driver asked the children to remain seated while he got out to see the babysitter. The iron bar was next to her and there was blood on the woman's head.
Makayla got up and went to the door that the driver had closed and called him. He didn't want to traumatize the children, but Makayla insisted by knocking on the door.
- Sit down, I'll solve this. - he asks, approaching the door.
- She's my nanny, my parents are police officers, you have to call them. - she warns.
- They are cops? Do you know their number? - the man asks, but changes his question, - Do you know the district they work in?
- 21.
- Okay, now you need to wait, okay? - he asks and she nods.
For Jay and Erin it felt like they were in slow motion as they watched Bryan fall into the water with their daughter, Jay drops the gun and doesn't think as he walks into the lake.
- CHARLOTTE!
He managed to go halfway but his heavy steps and the crack couldn't support his weight and it also gave way with him immediately heading straight into the water.
The snow in Chicago wasn't yet strong enough to support their weight and that's why it gave way so easily, which on the one hand was good news. Because the path to his daughter was almost clear. Jay managed to swim and break some parts of the ice to open the way. His limbs getting stiff due to the cold, but it wasn't impossible for him to swim, especially with what was at stake.
Lindsay didn't go into the lake. She knew Jay could do it, but it was no less agonizing to watch her daughter submerged without being able to do anything but wait. Neither she nor Bryan had emerged yet.
Jay got to where they fell just as he saw Bryan come up for air without Charlotte with him. Jay immediately sank to find his unconscious daughter trapped in an unbroken section of ice.
Erin started breathing again the second she saw Jay rise to the surface with Charlotte in his arms. Bryan was too busy trying to save his own life to care about the unconscious girl and Jay was too worried about waking his daughter to care about Bryan.
Erin started running around the lake when she saw Jay and Charlotte. Bryan was already swimming out of the lake and Jay was taking a little longer because he was carrying his daughter.
As soon as Bryan got out of the lake he ran. He had too much leverage and his plan was forgotten now. He needed to escape.
Jay reached the edge of the lake and pulled his daughter out of the water. He opened her blue coat and started giving her cardiac massage. He started with chest compressions and when he realized it wasn't enough, he covered his daughter's nose and covered her mouth with his. He repeated this process. He wasn't having success.
- Come on baby, breathe. - Jay said while doing the cardiac massage. - Come on, Charlotte. Wake up.
-No, no, no... baby, baby wake up... - Erin fell next to Jay, her heart aching at the scene in front of her. - Wake up sweet. Let's go baby. - she said in tears while Jay continued first aid.
- Let's go... - Jay said as soon as he stopped breathing mouth to mouth. Already starting to pant.
- Don't do this to me baby. Please... Jay save her. Don't let our daughter die.
Jay didn't respond. He stopped the massage and went back to mouth to mouth breathing.
- No... wake up Charlotte. Come on baby, breathe.
- Come back to us sweet. Please...
It seemed like a lifetime since they saw Charlotte being taken away. They were so worried about her that they didn't notice when not only the police arrived, but also the firefighters and paramedics.
- I got it. - Sylvie shouted, entering the middle of them. Neither Jay nor Erin listened. - Jay, leave it to me. - she says and when once again she is not heard, Boden simply grabs him and tries to get him off the girl. It wasn't easy, Jay didn't stop the compressions and Severide intervened to help grab Jay.
- Come on man, we'll help you.
- We need to take her to the ambulance, she has no pulse.
At that moment Erin and Jay's entire world came crashing down. Their daughter was dead right before their eyes.
"If there is one thing I learned in my trajectory, it is that there is no such story of "happily ever after", unless it means only that we are alive, that the sun rises with the new day and with every sunrise comes the possibility of happiness along with the possibility of hurt. And sometimes it all comes together."
- Grey's Anatomy