One day at a time.

She smiles as she watches the brown liquid filling the unusually big cup but nowadays she needs it. The caffeine coupled with a thick layer of concealer and you can't tell she's barely sleeping at night, yet she wouldn't trade it for the world. She has dreamed of the past few weeks, cried and prayed for a miracle and who knew it could really happen.

Sure, her days were filled beyond capacity and most days she can't make it to court, her previous second home, but if it meant helping her husband out, it was the smallest price to pay.

Get Ryan to day care, get Fitz to therapy, get to the office and put her phone's ringer on loud, Fitz back up, work from home to stay with her husband, wrap her day by 3-4pm tops, pick her baby boy from day care and tick whichever family activity from the list for the day. It was the type of busy she liked. It was the type of normalcy she wanted for their little boy. Now, she got it. If it meant delegating at work- she's still working on it- then so be it.

She's brought back from her thoughts as strong arms wrap around her from behind and she lets herself go in the familiar woodsy sent. God, she missed that feeling so much. It never got old. He's been home for a few weeks already but they aren't taking anything for granted anymore. A kiss to her neck almost send her spiralling but a glance to the clock in the kitchen halts all further activities. Not that she would have opposed them.

"Baby, I would love to take it further but Ryan's gonna wake up very soon

He sighs, arms loosening up a little, and turns her around. Brown meeting blue. Tenderness. Love. A gentle kiss on the lips.

"Good morning beautiful"

She sighs as she lets herself lean into his strong chest, melting into him. Her safe place.

"Good morning," she stops, "why don't you go wake up your biggest fan?" she says with a smile as she looks up at him, her shin poking at his chest.

He laughs, the small wrinkles on the sides of his eyes melting her heart, "are you jealous?"

"I wish," she exhales truthfully. It sure has been an adjustment having Fitz back home, it has been an even bigger challenge explaining to their little boy daddy was back for good. She's witnessed father and son's complicity build back up with such an ease she could indeed be jealous but she was too busy being and feeling grateful she was stepping back up to mommy duties only, "that little boy loves you to pieces, I'm just so happy you're back here with us. Safe."

Alive. But she refuses to use the word as if he could vanish in a cloud of smoke if she dared. She knows it. He knows it. She also knows guilt still eats at him thinking about being the only one who managed to make it back home. She can hear him mumbling in his sleep, she can feel him waking up at night even when he thinks he's being quiet. She doesn't need a roadmap around him most days, she just knows. It's instinct. She's still in touch with Fitz's therapist, she knows the road to possible healing is barely just getting started but thus far they seem optimistic. The few signs of immediate trigger he has experienced so far have been dealt with as best they could, the current diagnosis is encouraging. For that, she hugs him extra tight at night.

She buries her face back in his chest, feeling his heartbeat slightly accelerate to her confession. She smiles, planting a kiss against his shirt covered skin. She feels his embrace tighten around her, a kiss to the crown of her head before he releases her.

"I'll go get him," he says as he turns his back to her, climbing the stairs. He pauses for a second, looking back at her, his hands slightly shaking, hoping she didn't notice. He makes his way to his little boy's room and opens the door ever so quietly.

He switches off the noise machine only keeping the soft night light. They had to get Ryan a noise machine for night time to counter reporters and journalists shouting. To allow the little boy to get some rest. To allow some normal into their lives. Even if it was all but normal.

The first couple of days were probably the definition of rough for Olivia. Not one of them could make it outside without being blinded by a sea of flashes and all types of recording devices shoved at their faces. Ryan hated it, and had multiple tantrums. Fitz was a mess. He had to admit they were relentless. Anything to get the photo or an exclusive story to sell. The first few days he understood the curiosity but as it dragged down over the weeks it was just tiring. Draining. Their friends and family members had advised giving a few interviews to calm the press down but they refused. They lived a life off the radar before, that's how they wanted it to continue.

He agreed to let Olivia address a short statement, no questions asked afterwards, he couldn't even look at the river of eyes analysing him, he settled for looking at an angle where flowers where sitting. At least he didn't have to wonder what they thought of him.

He sighed, shaking his head as if to rid himself of these thoughts. It was going to be a good day. He couldn't let negativity start his day. In his mind, no one knows just how lucky he is like he does.

He makes his way to the little sleeping mass under the covers, putting the little sock back correctly on his son's foot and pulling back the fabric of his pyjamas to cover his little ankles. The little boy stirs, kicking in his sleep, scrunching his nose before letting out a sigh and drifting back. Like mother like son.

As much as he wants to let him continue dreaming, they need to drop him off at day care, "Ryan, wake up buddy"

"No," he whines.

"Mommy made pancakes, you know your favorite"

"Chocolate chip?" he asks, barely articulating.

"Yes, and milk, and fruit. I even bet we can make anything you want."

"No"

Fitz looks around the room before his eyes land on a graphic t-shirt, in a split second he knows he got him. "What if today you could wear your batman shirt? You're a superhero right, huh?"

Sleepy but still mischievous little eyes look back at him then in a second the little boy lights up, big smile curving his lips upwards before throwing his little arms around his father's neck.

"Yay!"

The last time he's held him in his arms before getting deployed he wasn't even properly walking yet. He knows he missed a lot, he had to try and catch up watching tapes his wife made over the years. It took probably the heaviest toll on him having to catch Ryan's first steps, words, birthdays and more on a TV screen rather than in real life. It was one of the hardest things he had to try and forgive himself for. Every father wants to be there for their children's milestones, he had to be the last one to date to see them.

The feeling still stung but he had to make it work. He promised himself he'd make it work. He didn't make it back to his family when others weren't so lucky to screw it up. It was mundane moments with his son, getting back to the rock that's his wife that made it all worth it. Plus, he had an awesome therapist who made it seem feasible for him. Every battle with his mind, every doubt that might hit him, every nagging voice. He knew the protocol.

He gets his little boy ready before heading back downstairs as ready as can be to take on another day.

When they make it to the kitchen, Liv had already finished eating, their plates awaiting them, a fresh mug of decaffeinated coffee for him. It wasn't his first choice but he knew he need to stay far from caffeine for the time being. The battle uphill was always the hardest.

It was the type of vision that still made her heart skip a beat every time and brought tears to her eyes. Although she didn't cave to her son's request as much, watching her husband carry their son in his arms as they finally made their way downstairs made her wonder how it would have looked had they never lost the few years he wasn't there with them.

Before her feelings got caught in her throat, she turned her back to them, grabbed the small cup designated for their son, filled it with milk and chocolate powder, shaking the plastic cup before setting it next to the blue plastic plate next to her husband's.

"Mommy!"

She turns back. Father and son, two pairs of blue piercing eyes staring at her. A strong arm pulls her to the opposite side of their son and she happily obliges. The moment fills her heart like it does every day now. It is what makes every battle they go through worth it.

A/N: Hopefully this is readable this time, I think I forgot how to upload to the website. If you've read this, I hope you enjoyed!