As mentioned in "Everything that never happened." Maruki has no official birthday. So,
Takuto Maruki 15/02
In truth, you feel in no way qualified for the job of a therapist. You are not even great at managing your own life, what qualifies you to try to help other people manage theirs?
Your degree and research in cognitive science apparently. Or at least, according to people who don't know your job, and you would correct them, but you are busy trying to get a job from them. So you keep your mouth shut and try to maintain the illusion that you know what you are doing.
You feel like a sham. This interview is a sham. It's all strained smiles, and questions you feel fake for asking while they read from a script they have long since memorized.
Japanese job market is a sick joke, and this isn't the job you wanted or went to school for, but the kind of job you went to school for has gone up in smoke, and this is an opportunity you need and can't waste.
So you have been reading books and online PDFs and pamphlets, and anything you can get your hands on in hopes that you can sound legitimate. You don't feel legitimate. It's a job you don't want but need to take, for the sake of rent money at least. Tokyo is expensive. Everything is expensive these days.
Rumi would say being an adult is a let's pretend game that everyone is playing. But Rumi is not here. Rumi is in the hospital living a life that isn't hers, but hopefully better then what she would be living without what you did.
What you did. She's happier not knowing what she's missing, and you can't stand to look at her without something twisting and breaking inside. So you stay away, and tell yourself that you are doing it for her.
It's what you tell yourself. For her. For him. For other people's happiness. Maybe you don't feel like you can be happy, but you can fake it (hopefully) until you make it, and in the meantime you can make other people happy.