The Duality Theorem
Summary: Despite all the lies that Don has said over the years, Charlie always considered him to be an honest man.
Warning: ANGST GALORE WITH NO COMFORT IN SIGHT.
Disclaimer: Still don't own the show, although that would be nice. Nice for me at least, can't really say the same for everyone else :)
A/N: Hiiii! So, looks like I'm back with more hurt and no comfort. Excuse any odd wording or stiffness, I just had a very long conversation in my native language before I wrote this so there might be a few wires that crossed over. That and I haven't slept yet because this idea zipped it's way through my head at mach 10 and refused to leave. So now, I'm forced to both write and post this by this flaming mess I call my brain (impatient, controlling shit). I'll probably fix this again later once I've had some adequate amount of sleep but for now, enjoy the ride. Have a nice day!
If there was one thing that Charlie Eppes knew about his older brother, it is this:
Don Eppes is an honest man.
It didn't take a genius like him to point that out. For as long as Charlie could remember, his brother had always been honest. It was one of Don's most stand out traits, the one thing that he had been known for. Just like how Charlie could never be separated from his genius, Don couldn't be separated from his reliability and honesty. It was one of the things that made him, him.
His brother was always the one who stood up for the truth, no matter how much it hurts. Doesn't matter if spilling the beans meant losing the people around him. If what they did was against the law, against the truth, Don would be the first person to bring it to light. But it was never out of some need to win brownie points or to bump competitors off. Don wasn't like that. No, the reason why he told the truth is because he cared. Despite what Don says, Charlie could see that his brother always had a heart.
Although, over the years, he had seen that part of his brother disappear day by day.
It took him too long to realize that unlike Charlie, Don had no one to protect that heart within him.
That was probably why Don decided to start lying, to bend the truth bit by bit. All in the name of protecting that fragile heart within him.
It all started as little white lies. Lies that he did to test how much he could get away with, so to speak. Small things like lying about doing his homework or lying about who he was going out with. He's heard all the lectures, seen the pinched look on Don's face. But, no matter what, Don still continued.
"Don't worry Chuck, I'm just gonna step out for a bit."
He's lying, Charlie thought as he watched his brother meetup with his friends. He knew that Don didn't want him around his friend group. He just wished that Don would outright say it instead of hiding behind his lies. Don was an honest person, wasn't he? Why didn't he just tell Charlie the truth?
Charlie thought that that would be the end of it, but he was wrong.
The lies grew bigger…
"I'm listening."
He's lying, Charlie thought fondly whenever he saw his brother's eyes glaze over whenever he talked about math. Compared to Don's other lies, Charlie isn't that bothered over this. In fact, he finds it endearing, the way his brother tries his best to pay attention even though it's clear that whatever Charlie is talking about went way over his head. Although he wished his brother would tell him outright, save them both the trouble.
And bigger…
"I'm not mad Charlie."
He's lying, Charlie thought, knowing this song and dance all too well. He had this encounter down to an equation. Don would say that he wasn't mad just to get information out of him. After that, he'd yell at Charlie into oblivion, threatening to do something to his books. Charlie would promise not to do it again and they both would walk away, knowing that this would happen again. Because the both of them knew that Don's threat was yet another lie.
Despite all that, Charlie never thought of his brother as a liar.
Was he sometimes dishonest? Yes. But Don was never a liar.
It didn't matter how many white lies his brother told or small truths that he would bend. Because Don had proved over the years that when it came to things that mattered, his brother never lied.
"Don't worry Charlie, I'll protect you."
He's telling the truth, his instincts say. Throughout the years, Don has never once broken this promise. From getting into trouble because he got into a fistfight with Charlie's bullies to putting his job on the line just so he can vouch for Charlie's credibility, Don had always watched out for him.
"I'll always be right behind you."
He's telling the truth, his instincts would say. Even with the growing rift between them, Don has never truly left Charlie. Whether it was through phone calls or the odd gift through the mail, Don always found a way to tell Charlie that he's there. It was Don's way of saying that he'll always be there to catch Charlie if he falls.
"Don't worry buddy, everything will be fine."
He's telling the truth, his instincts would say. No matter how impossible a situation seemed, Don always had a way of solving it. Not even the stress from his job is enough to put him out of commission, constantly taking every burden and responsibility in stride with the practiced ease of someone with years of experience. Despite the fact that they were well within their thirties, Charlie always felt reassured when Don stepped in. It was Don's way of showing that, forever and always, he would come to make things right again.
So, regardless of the lies, Don Eppes still is and will always be an honest man.
Because even though he sometimes lies about small things, he always sticks to the truth, always keeps his promise, and is always honest when it matters.
Always.
Gunshots filled the air as they ran through the woods, desperate to escape. Even though he's worked with law enforcement before, Charlie had no experience when it came to running away from gunfire. Thankfully though, Don has had enough experience for the both of them.
Charlie felt his brother shove him down a nearby ditch as a bullet whizzed by his head, far too close for comfort. "Over here!"
"I-I don't get it" he trembles, fear overtaking him. "There was nothing in the equation that told me they would stick around. The patterns don't match!"
"Charlie" Don hissed, holding him tight. "Take a deep breath for me," he says, trying to calm him down. "It's not your fault, okay? No one could've predicted this."
"But-"
"Listen to me buddy" Don interjected, looking right into Charlie's eyes. "We can discuss this later but I want you to know this, none of this was your fault."
"You said it wasn't my fault…"
"What do we do? We're trapped!" His brain ran amok with the numbers. Years and years of statistical data ran through his mind, leaving him frozen with the information.
"None of that Charlie" his brother said sternly, his calm voice cutting through Charlie's panic. "Just follow me, okay? I'll come up with something."
"I thought you got it…you always have everything under control."
He didn't know how long they'd been running. All he knew was that he wasn't cut out to be an actual FBI agent.
"Don't worry Charlie, rescue should be just around the corner. Hold out a little more, okay?" Don said, reassuring him. "Just trust me. I'll get us out soon."
"You said that rescue was close…"
Charlie felt the shove from his brother before he saw the tree, letting out a sigh of relief as it gave them temporary protection. "What now?" he breathed out, trying to calm his racing heart. When his brother didn't answer, he looked to the side, concerned that Don doesn't seem to be paying attention. Instead, he was focused on checking his gun with one hand, his face paler and sweatier than usual. "Don?"
"Remember what I said about coming up with a plan?"
"I should've seen it…your other hand was-"
"Listen to me carefully," Don whispered, afraid that someone might find them. "The road is just up ahead."
Charlie looked to where Don was pointing, feeling elated when he saw that the woods were ending soon. "What are we waiting for then? Let's go!"
"Hold on!"
"What?"
Don looked at him, his expression completely serious. "I need you to do one thing for me Charlie. When I say go, I want you to run. Don't wait for me, just run."
"But-"
"I mean it Charlie" Don hissed, his big brother voice in full command now. "I need you to run as fast as you can up the road. The team should be arriving soon, okay? Just, whatever you do, don't stop running until you're safe."
"What about you?"
Despite the dangers, Don gave him a soft, reassuring smile. The same kind of smile that he puts on whenever he makes a promise to Charlie, one that he always keeps. "Don't worry about me."
For once though, Charlie wasn't instantly reassured. "Don, what if-"
Don cut Charlie off with a gentle ruffle of his hair, his face filled with an emotion that Charlie couldn't pin down. "Don't worry about me buddy," he reassured. "I promise I'll be fine. I've always been fine. So, don't think about me and just run when I tell you to, okay?"
That question wasn't a question, it was an order. A demand that Charlie knew all too well. It was done in the same tone of voice that Don would have when he didn't want to explain things to Charlie and instead, decided to pull his older brother card. Despite the warning signs though, Charlie couldn't help but trust his brother.
Don Eppes is an honest man. He wouldn't outright lie to Charlie about this. It wasn't in his nature.
"You told me not to worry…"
Charlie was about to protest when they heard footsteps, their angry voices followed suit. "Shit, they found us!" Don hissed. He then turned to Charlie, his expression urgent. "Remember Charlie, run when I tell you to. Don't hesitate and don't wait for me to catch up. Just do it."
Charlie's voice was caught in his throat. "I-"
Don gave him one last reassuring smile. "Don't worry about me, I'll be okay," he said gently. At that sight, Charlie couldn't help but nod, swallowing any protests he had. Now is not the time to fight, it's the time to run. They would have plenty of time to fight later. "Ready?"
Charlie nodded, taking a deep breath.
"One…"
Charlie could feel his heart beat faster with each passing second.
"Two…"
"THERE THEY ARE!" The voices shouted as he could hear guns being cocked.
"GO!" Don screamed as they both ran, avoiding the bullets that whizzed past them. They both ran with equal speed at first with Don returning fire. But then, Don slowly lagged behind as he tried to juggle shooting back with running. As soon as he realized that, Charlie instinctually slowed down slightly, worry nagging at him. But before he could turn his head, he heard Don's voice. "Run and don't look back!" he shouted. "I'll be right behind you!"
So he did. Charlie ran as fast as he could until his legs gave out, collapsing just as he saw the FBI issued SUV. "Holy shit! We're alive!" he wheezed out, not even bothering to look at his brother he knew that Don would give him that patented big brother stare for that swear word. As familiar faces jumped out of the cars, he couldn't help but be relieved, letting out a delighted laugh. "Don…we made it!" he cheered, hoping that Don heard him over the rush of ambulance and police sirens. He didn't need to look back to know that Don was probably trying to play it cool like always. He already knew.
Don said he would be behind Charlie after all.
And Don was too much of an honest man to lie to him on this.
He could feel his hands tremble, the tears in his eyes causing his vision to blur. "You said you were right behind me" he sobbed, his shaking voice being the only thing that filled the silence.
An honest man doesn't break his promise.
"You promised…"
An honest man sticks to the truth.
"You said that you'll get us out…"
An honest man doesn't lie.
"DAMNIT DON!" Charlie screamed as he threw the glass to the wall, his eyes watching hollowly as it shattered into a million pieces. "You said you'd be fine!"
"Don't worry Charlie, I'll protect you."
"I'll always be right behind you."
"Don't worry buddy, everything will be fine."
"It's not your fault, okay? No one could've predicted this."
"Just trust me."
"I promise I'll be fine. I've always been fine."
"I'll be right behind you!"
"Liar…" he whispered, sinking down to the floor. His eyes looked over to the still figure, far stiller than he has any right to be. "I should've known…all the warning signs were there, I was just too blind to see them." Charlie knew that he was someone who relied on facts and patterns, a weakness that Don knew too. "You know what they say? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice?" he asked the empty air, his tone bordering on hysterical. But this time, no one was there to answer him. No teasing tones, no exasperated sighs.
Nothing.
He let out a bark of laughter at the hollowed room, his emotions fraying on the edges. Shame on me he thought as he buried his face in between his knees, unwilling to get back up. He was terrified of facing the world, a world where he knew this was on him. No matter how much Don said it wasn't his fault, Charlie would forever think that it was.
Because if there was one thing that Charlie Eppes realized about his older brother, it's this:
Don Eppes was a liar.