(AN: Hello all! Hope you have been enjoying the story! Reviews are always welcome! Just a quick warning, this chapter contains discussions of (tw: abortive/pregnancy loss discussions, torture and violence.) this is one of my longest chapters yet! I hope you like it! Also, if you like this story you might like my other one "Everything We Missed" time wise it begins shortly after this one will end and fills in missing moments in between the end of HP7 and the Epilogue. However, it does contain spoilers for this story)
Tonks' knuckles were white as she gripped the edge of the bathroom sink, looking down at the same bubbling cup of orange potion.
"What's color is it?" Remus asked, looming just outside the doorway.
"It's-it's the same as before." She said , as she emerged from the bathroom.
He stared at her for several seconds, after she told him this.
He didn't speak, but once again got up to look at the potion.
"I know this wasn't exactly what you wanted." She said hesitantly. She was in foreign territory.
She had no clue how he would respond.
"Do you want some breakfast?" He asked, suddenly.
"Ahh, okay. Yeah." She agreed, following him into the kitchen.
She wasn't really sure what to make of his reaction.
She followed him slowly into the kitchen. worried that any sudden movement might set him off somehow. Her hands shook slightly in anticipation of his response.
She would understand if he was upset. If she was being honest with her self she was also kinda upset and extremely nervous.
She was an Auror. She wasn't sure if she was mom material.
She rubbed her arm a little and leaned against the doorway to the kitchen as Remus started to make breakfast.
She eventually sat down at the table after a few minutes when she realized Remus wasn't going to say anything.
She stared at his back as he made, what she could only assume was French toast.
"Remus -"
"I just don't want to talk about it now" he told her, answering her unspoken question
Tonks sighed slightly, nodding.
She couldn't help but hope that perhaps his lack of reaction was a good sign. Perhaps he just needed to get used to the idea first.
Perhaps he'd have a positive reaction after all.
They ate together, mostly in silence and Remus was quiet most of the rest of the day.
Around noon, Tonks announced that she was going to go get ready for the wedding.
Tonks undressed and showered much slower than she usually would have.
Her mind felt like it was going a mile a minute.
How could she ever be someone's mother. She wondered.
For just a brief moment as the water washed over her, a slight wave of terror struck her suddenly.
'Could the baby be a werewolf?' her eyes stung slightly at the thought, and she instinctively brought her hand down to lay on her womb.
For some reason, when she did this she felt a wave of calm and happiness wash over her.
She suddenly felt absolved from that concern and worry of a few seconds before.
She allowed herself to dream just for a few seconds that everything would work out okay. perhaps this baby was already the light they all needed.
She kept checking in on Remus while she was getting ready. He was still being eerily quiet.
She was desperate for him to say something. But, by the time they had reached the outskirts of the Burrows boundaries Remus still hadn't said much of anything.
"You look nice." He said softly. As they walked up the hill to the Marquee, where the guests were in a queue waiting to go inside the main event tent.
"Thank you." Tonks said, pushing some of her curly blonde hair behind her ear.
He didn't say anything else though. that killed her a little.
They were ushered to their seats and sat quietly as the rest of the guests arrived.
There was a sea of people with flaming red hair, who obviously belonged to the Weasley side of the family.
Several people came over to greet them both, and to Tonks irritation Remus seemed perfectly fine to chat kindly with others not carrying his baby. But, when they would walk away she watch Remus' falter ever so slightly.
Tonks didn't notice but Remus was also watching her. He continually was internally chastising himself for allowing such a severe slip up to occur. He couldn't stop his brain from going to the worst possible outcomes. He hated the idea of a child that was just like him. His poor wife deserved so much better than this.
He watched her happily bob in her seat as music played. He almost worried she didn't seem more anxious about the pregnancy.
"Wotcher." She smiled happily as two little red headed twin girls came walking over to them with flowers. Remus assumed that they were probably 4, maybe five.
"Hello, here's you go." The little twins curtsied and the one handed her a small white flower.
"Oh, thank you. I love it." Tonks gushed smelling the flower.
Remus smiled just slightly. She was so sweet. He sadly lamented that she'd probably make a wonderful mother.
They walked over to Remus and handed him one too.
"Thank you." He told them kindly before they ran off to find other guests.
This was a common wizarding tradition for the children in the family. They would bring flowers around to the guests before the ceremony.
Soon, everyone had taken their seats and the ceremony began.
Together, Remus and Tonks watched the wedding ceremony with the rest of the guests.
When the minister at the front announced Bill and Fleur as husband and wife, golden butterflies flew out of the elaborate flower arrangements all around them, and the small flowers the twin girls had given out turned to tiny shimmering butterflies as well.
"Oh." Tonks gasped a little at this as her flower transformed in her hand. Even Remus look surprised at this, and watched as the butterflies flew in every direction, up and into the sky around them.
After the ceremony everyone gathered under the large event tent, chatting and dancing to music.
Remus watched as the rest of the guests swirled around in various colorful outfits and dresses to the music.
He kept checking his watch though, and he knew Tonks must have noticed, he noticed her glance over slightly at him while he did it. He was slightly relieved to be left alone when Tonks went to go dance with Ginny on the dance floor.
Around 630 the sun started to set behind the distant mountains, and she looked over at him, knowingly and made her way back over to sit with him while dinner was served.
"Are you comfortable leaving at 730?" She asked during dessert.
Remus nodded. That seemed fine. As long as they were back to the flat by 8 he wouldn't technically be breaking any laws.
He was glad to see To ls have a good time and be happy. Because he knew he was about to ruin it all. He knew she wouldn't like the conclusion he has come to that evening about her pregnancy. But, he wanted to extend her happiness longer.
Right before the clock struck 730 a soft song played through the tent.
Tonks thought he had gotten up to leave but was surprised when he offered her his hand.
"Would you like to?" Remus asked.
She looked at him trying to decipher his words, making sure she understood.
"One dance. Then we'll go." He whispered. 'Time to act like a good husband for once', he thought.
She smiled a small smile and took his hand, and they walked towards the dance floor together.
Remus saw an orb out of the corner of his eye flying fast towards the tent, and he turned. The otter flew through the air, landing in the center of the dance floor. Stopping everyone in their tracks.
The familiar voice of Kingsley boomed across the crowded tent.
"The ministry has fallen, Minister of Magic is dead. They are coming. They are coming, they are coming." The message said, before dissolving on the spot.
Before the message had even stopped people all over had started disappearing on the spot. Others were drawing their wands.
Remus hand gripped Tonks hard and he quickly looked around in panic for Harry. He needed to be protected.
Suddenly, cloaked death eaters began appearing amongst the crowd.
Remus stunned a death eater and he flew and hit page ground hard.
Others were shouting curses and hexes everywhere.
Remus ran forward with Tonks. He tried to make it over to Harry. But, he watched as he, Ron and Hermione disapperated before his eyes.
For just a second he sighed in relief. Suddenly, someone had hold of his wife's arm.
"Exploso" Tonks yelled and the Death Ester flew back into a table, causing it to collapse with a loud bang.
"Stop it!" A man's voice yelled over the remaining guests.
Remus turned. That was a voice he was sure he knew.
Lucius Malfoy had hold of Fleur's little sister. It looked like she had attempted to hide under a table and he had found her.
"I'll kill her." He screamed, holding her in a head lock, with his wand pointing towards her cheek.
"Gabrielle!!." Fluer and her mother screamed, crying, trying to fight through the tent to get to her.
"You follow our rules, she lives. You give us what we want maybe no one will get hurt." he yelled to the crowd.
All of the remaining guests were mostly Order Members or close relatives of the Weasleys or the Delacours. The Death Eaters forced them all inside the Burrow.
Remus and Tonks walked with the others into the kitchen, not daring to touch each other. Remus was sure the Death Eaters knew they were married but it was a terrifying thought.
"Men, over in the living room." Yaxley barked.
"What?" Arthur asked.
"Do what you're told." Lucius sneered at him. "Now." He yelled.
He threw Gabrielle to her mother who just caught her before she tumbled into the table.
"The woman stay in the kitchen." Lucius told them
Tonks watched as Remus and the other men went over to stand in the living room.
She locked eyes with him and he looked back at her. her hands gripped one of the kitchen chairs in front of her, while Molly was seated in front of her.
He could tell she was just as much on edge as he was.
"What do you want?" Arthur asked the small group of Death Eaters.
"Ha. We have some questions." Yaxley snarled.
"Hmm. Indeed we do." A voice from the door said.
Everyone turned to see Phius Thicknese walking into the house.
"Ah, our new Minister has arrived just in time." Lucius said jovially.
The obviously imperioused Thicknese strolled in through the front door, in a dream like manner.
He looked around the room, his eyes out of focus.
"Next steps?" Thicknese asked the other Death Eaters.
"They're going to tell us what we what to know. Or, we get mean." Yaxley told them all.
"I'm only to ask nicely one time." Lucius crooned maliciously.
"Where is Harry Potter? We know The Order of the Phoenix is hiding him." Lucius looked around the room.
No one said anything. It was silent.
"Oh, that's too bad. I gave you a chance." Lucius chuckled.
"Trash the house. Search it, top to bottom." Lucius snarled at two of the Death Eaters.
Both went tearing through the house. Remus could hear them upstairs.
"Hhhmm." Lucius murmured.
"Arthur. Your clan appears to be down one in number. Where's your son? Where's Ron? I don't see him here?" Lucius asked, mockingly looking around for him.
"He's upstairs. He's sick." Arthur growled, angrily.
"Too sick to attend his brother's wedding? He must be in real bad shape then?" Yaxley interrupted.
"He-he has Spatagroit. Very contagious." Molly managed to squeak out.
"Hmm. We'll see." Lucius said.
A few minutes later the two Death Eaters that had gone upstairs.
"You find the son?" Yaxley asked the men.
They nodded.
"Ugly motherfucker too. They told the truth, he's sick." The Death Eater chuckled.
Lucius chewed his tongue.
"Well, see how easy that was. You told us the truth." Lucius laughed.
"Now. Where is Harry Potter?"
Everytime he asked that Remus' blood ran cold in his veins.
"You would be wise to cooperate with us. Especially those of you that work at the ministry. " Thicknese crooned robotically.
"Mmmm." Lucius murmured.
"Some of you could face severe punishment for not cooperating with us." Lucius sneered, looking around, his eyes landing on Tonks.
Remus held his breath in that moment.
Lucius locked eyes with his wife and she glared back at him.
"You could be fired for this actually. Weren't you put on probation?" He asked.
"Yes, she was. For her indiscretions." Thicknese said, dreamily and in the oddest manner possible.
"Ha." Tonks chuckled.
Remus could have dropped dead.
Tonks turned from where she stood and began rummaging in her bag.
"Ah. Here you go." She threw something shiny and round to Thicknese.
Instead of catching it, it hit him square in the face. He blinked as her Auror badge fell and hit the kitchen floor with a small thud.
"Oh, he's under such a lousy Imprius Curse that he can't even catch something right in front of his bloody face!" Tonks laughed wryly.
"Was that your work?" She pointed at Lucius Malfoy who looked livid.
Tonks turned swiftly to address Thicknese.
"For the record, minister. I quit. I wouldn't work for the ministry of magic a single second more. Not if you paid me all the gallons in Diagon Alley." She sneered.
Thicknese mostly ignored her, but blinked.
"Well, I'd say the Ministry will miss you…but." Lucius smiled a nasty smile and sneered at Tonks.
Remus held his breath in terror.
"Enough of these theatrics. It's time to get the answered we came for. One way or another." Yaxley swore loudly.
"Where is Harry Potter?" Lucius asked again. Walking around the kitchen, looking from woman to woman.
no one said anything.
"You know. It's interesting how many of you." He pointed at each of the woman in the kitchen in turn. "Has someone they care about in the living room." Lucius said, in an evil tone.
Remus inhaled for the first time in what felt like minutes.
Yaxley strolled over into the living room, looking back at Lucius, then at all of them.
Tonks also felt like she couldn't breathe in that moment. she and Remus felt too far from each other suddenly.
"One last chance. Where is Harry Potter?" Lucius asked the group of woman again.
Again, No one responded.
Lucius chuckled, as Yaxley paced back-and-forth In the living room.
"You people. So silly. Do you take us for fools? Do you take the Dark Lord as a fool?" He asked.
"We know that less than a fortnight ago, a large group took Harry Potter and moved him to a safe house." Lucius.
A few people shifted uncomfortably at this statement.
"And, we know whose house he was brought to, too." Yaxley sneered.
Now, it was Tonks blood that was running cold.
She realized if Death Eaters were here, they were also probably at other Order safe houses. If they really knew her parents had helped to hide Harry, then Death Eaters were also at their house.
She briefly made eye contact with Remus. He seemed to understand her terror in just that brief look.
Lucius strolled over to stand right next to Tonks, looking at her. She resolutely refused to meet his eyes, sitting still as could be next to Molly.
"We know, he was at your parent's house the other night." He told Tonks.
Remus was holding his breath again.
He watched as Tonks shook her head just once.
Then Lucius said something that turned Tonks terror to a new level, and made Remus' breath catch in his throat.
"Hm. Torture him." Lucius said to Yaxley.
On the spot Yaxley turned and pointed his wand towards the one person Tonks couldn't bare to see hurt more.
"No!" Tonks screamed, as Remus fell out of his seat on the carpet, writhing in silent agony.
"Crucio!" Yaxley yelled again.
This time others screamed as well. But, Remus wasn't sure if the screams were his or those of others around him. But he was pretty sure they were the screams of his wife and those around him he heard ringing in his ears.
"Stop!!" Tonks screamed, trying to plead with them. "He's not done anything. He doesn't know anything." She cried.
Remus gripped the carpet, bracing himself for it to happen again. But, it didn't.
"You think, your aunt doesn't know where your mother lives?" Huh? Lucius asked Tonks.
tonks shook her head automatically.
"Where was he moved after he left your parent's house?" He asked her.
Tonks looked at Remus who was trying to push himself off the floor and locked eyes with him.
Tears leaked out of her eyes, and she shook her head again.
Lucius looked at Yaxley and Yaxley cursed him again.
Someone else screamed this time though..
"You will not do this in my home!" Arthur bellowed.
Remus was grateful when the pain stopped.
Yaxley looked at Arthur for several seconds.
"We will decide what happens." Lucius sneered in disgust.
"What are you play at, huh?" Fred interjected.
Remus sat up and fully pushed himself onto the sofa, white and shaking. He prepared mentally to be tortured again.
Lucius laughed at the interruption.
"Once again. You think we are fools? We know Harry Potter frequently stays here. We're not dumb." Yaxley barked.
"You're torturing Harry Potter's whereabouts out of people?? On what grounds? What's your excuse then?" Fred asked.
Arthur glared at his son, silently begging him to stop.
But Fred defiantly glared at the Death Eaters.
Thicknese cleared his throat before giving a dreamy explanation.
"Harry Potter is currently wanted by the Ministry of Magic for questioning regarding the death of Albus Dumbledore." He explained in an expressionless manner, looking around the room in confusion as he did.
Many people shook their heads at this, others laughed or yelled out in outrage.
Remus stared at the carpet, not saying anything. This wasn't the action of a just system. Everything would forever be changed now.
Tonks watched this all unfold silently, tears still in her eyes. She was terrified that Bellatrix was with her parents. she briefly considered trying to disapperate but thought better of it.
"So." Yaxley continued.
"That's why we are allowed to do whatever we see fit, to collect Mr Potter and bring him to justice. No matter who we have to torture, or kill, or arrest." Yaxley explained, as he walked around the living room, stopping to look at parents as he said the last words.
Yaxley looked from Remus over to Lucius.
Lucius chuckled.
"Well, look at that. It's past 8pm."
"Looks like you're breaking the law, werewolf?" Yaxley sneered down at Remus..
Remus didn't meet his eye or interact with him in anyway. If they were going to arrest him so be it, he'd never give them Harry.
"He lives here!" A voice screamed from the kitchen.
Remus looked up, surprised to see Molly on her feet. Everyone was looking at her.
Lucius laughed even harder at this.
"You actually expect us to believe-" Lucius was cut off mid sentence by Arthur Weasley, who also had gotten to his feet.
"He lives here." Arthur solemnly repeated his wife's words.
Remus was quite frankly, fairly shocked at this assertion. He knew the Weasleys cared but he never expected this.
Lucius clearly didn't know what to say to this.
"W-we would need some type of proof of that." Lucius stared.
"Oh you want proof." Arthur said anger coursing through him, walking quickly towards the kitchen, pulling out his wand.
"Arthur, no!" Mrs Weasley yelled.
"Crucio!" Lucius yelled.
Arthur fell to the floor, screaming in agony.
The Weasley children all yelled at this in outrage.
Molly looked white as a sheet.
"You see! This is what happens when you try to disobey us. We will stay here all night if we have to!" Lucius lunged at Arthur.
"Then stay!" Arthur yelled defiantly. Harry Potter isn't here. We don't know where he is. You could torture us for weeks on end and it wouldn't change the answer." Arthur gritted his teeth, preparing for the worst again.
But nothing happened. No pain came or shot through his body. He looked up once again into the eyes of Lucius Malfoy.
But Lucius wasn't looking at him at all. He was looking over at Yaxley, who was fingering the hem of his robes on his left forearm in a bizarre manner. The other Death Eaters shuffled uncomfortably.
Something had happened. Remus quietly observed the behavior.
"Consider yourselves lucky, our services are required elsewhere. Perhaps Harry Potter isn't here tonight." Lucius crooned, before turning to the rest of his fellows and signaling to them that it was time to go.
Together, they all left. Leaving the remaining guests and the Weasleys behind.
"w-what just happened?" Bill asked, watching through the window as the Death Eaters disappeared in the spot.
Meanwhile, Molly ran forward to help Arthur off the floor.
"I'm fine. I'm okay." He tried to reassure her and his children.
Tonks and Remus locked eyes. Tonks ran over to Remus and held on to him.
"we have to go check on my parents." She told him, frantically.
He nodded.
Both, reemerged a few houses down from her parent's house just moments later.
Tonks gasped and ran over to the house when she saw the door was open.
"Dora! Be careful!" He whispered to her as she ran over to the house. He was exhausted and stiff and moved much slower.
When he got to the door a few seconds later Ted was standing just off to the side of the door. He had a ghostly expression on his face, and a deep gash on his cheek.
"their in there." Ted explained grimly.
Tonks was huddled on the kitchen floor next to her mother, who was wrapped in a blanket shaking.
"they tortured her." Ted explained. "It was Bellatrix."
Tonks was crying holding g onto her mother. Remus was pretty sure he felt as bad as Andromeda felt.
Andromeda was crying too.
"you c-can't go out it's not safe." Andromeda was telling Tonks.
"shh, it's okay I'll be okay." Tonks tried to reassure her.
"no. You don't understand, Bellatrix she's going to try to kill you. She's marked you for death. She told us" Andromeda cried, holding on to Tonks.
"oh." Tonks said in a small voice.
"it's because you married him." She sniffed, tears spilling down her cheeks.
Tonks went stone faced at this statement. She didn't dare turn around to see Remus's face at the moment.
"that's not true, mom. Don't say that."
"she's upset." She heard her father say behind her back.
But, Remus said nothing.
Ted had motioned for Remus to join him in the sitting room away from Andromeda and Tonks.
"look-she she didn't mean harm. She's just upset." Ted tried to defend her.
Remus just nodded.
"it's okay. She's allowed to be upset. I wouldn't want my child to marry a werewolf either. Truthfully." Remus said it before he had even had time to consider the implications of the statement. He went pale and sat down.
Ted looked at him sadly at this, and shook his head just a little. He clearly didn't know what to say, but didn't want to offend him.
Remus bitterly thought that his child probably would be a werewolf though. He shuddered a little at the thought. He knew in that moment he couldn't watch that unfold. He wished in that second that his biggest worry was who his child would choose to marry. But, it wasn't.
Ted making a small noise brought him out of his internal dialogue.
"ssz. Ouch." Ted said, trying to dap at his face.
"I can help you." Remus offered. Expecting him to decline.
"could you? I'm an old man." Ted chuckled wryly, shaking his head.
Remus was a little surprised that he accepted the help but cloth from him.
"here." Remus put a spell on the cloth and changed to form to a jelly looking substance.
"this will work better, I think." he applied the jelly substance to the cut on his face and it magically adhered to the wound.
Red noticed Remus looked sickly and shook slightly.
Ted touched his face after to feel the jelly patch on his skin.
"once it falls off that should be healed. Unless it was a hex or curse that did it, the. It could leave a scar." Remus explained to him.
Ted explained surveying him closely.
"they tortured you too?" Ted asked quietly.
Remus nodded.
Tonks brought her mother into the living room and sat with her before they left.
"Are you okay?" She asked them once they were back home.
Remus nodded. "I'll be okay. It'll take a little to get my strength back up."
Tonks softly hugged him. But, he barely hugged her back.
"I'm sorry. For what she said. She'll come around. This is still a little weird for her." Tonks tried to soften the blow, knowing what her mother had said must have upset him.
Remus nodded, not looking at her. He let out of shuddering breath.
Tonks looked at him, waiting.
"she didn't mean it" Tonks tried to reassure him.
It only frustrated him more.
"mmm. That doesn't change that the Death Eaters want to kill you because of me. You think I can live with that? I can't!" He exploded, his voice shaking.
Tonks eyes filled with tears.
Remus gasp. He didn't want her to cry more.
"Bellatrix has wanted me dead for years. If anything she wants me dead because my mom married my dad.. not because I married you. That just added to the fire."
"I didn't help." He walked away from her.
Tonks sighed.
When he didn't say anything she broke the silence.
"yesterday, you said you wouldn't be angry. Well, maybe it was just the horror show that was today. But, you seem pretty fucking angry with me, Remus." Her voice shook. But she yelled it.
"And, you got pregnant even when I said it was imperative you didn't." He snapped at her.
He regretted what he had said the second he'd said it. She looked wounded.
She gasped a little.
"I'm sorry. That was out of line. I shouldn't have-." He tried to apologize immediately knowing he'd gone too far. but she cut him off mid sentence.
"No no. You meant what you said." She said firmly.
She looked at him like he'd betrayed her.
"Please, no. Listen to me. I didn't. I got upset." Remus admitted.
"Mad Eye died!." She yelled, out of control.
"I know. And, it's my fault for not being more clear headed that night. That's on me." Remus said, blame evident in his voice.
"Why does it have to be either of our faults?" She asked him, defeated.
Remus swallowed hard.
"I-i this just isn't something I want." He said. "I'm sorry i didn't say something this morning."
"This is too risky." He added.
"So. What do you want to do now then Remus?" She asked harshly.
"I-I don't know. I just know that if something went wrong because of me and you got hurt, or you died-." His voice broke ever so slightly.
She walked over to him.
"No, I thought about it. I want to try to have this baby. And if I lose it, well then at least I know I tried."
It still seemed so unsafe, Remus didn't like it.
Remus gave her a devastating and pitting look.
"I -I think it would be safest if we found a way to end the pregnancy now, before it progresses any further." Remus said.
Tonks stepped back from him a little. She suddenly felt slightly protective of the baby growing inside her womb
"That's what you want?" She asked, hurt.
" No. But, I worry something could go wrong otherwise." He explained.
" I'm willing to task the risk that I'll lose the baby. I-I don't want to end the pregnancy just because there's a possibility the baby could have lycanthropy." She said, trying to reason with him.
Remus didn't want to force her. He resigned.
"Okay." He said.
His wife just looked at him sadly for a few seconds before speaking.
"I kinda want to be alone for a little while." She said. gesturing toward the bedroom.
Remus watched her go, feeling one thousand times worse than he had back at The Burrow.