Naoki Konishi 28/05
When you were younger you used to wonder who you would be if you had been an only child. Saki is annoying in the way only a close sibling can be, so the relationship, while loving, was always turbulent.
When she had died, you felt guilty for all the time spent wondering. Without her, you are now lonely, and the feeling engulfs you.
It's a bit better now, but still get sad from all the little things that remind you of her. Rivers, pastries, doodles she left in your notebooks tol bug you later. Silly little things that remind you of her and hurt, not always in a bad way.
You know she was going to leave home, and that it was always probably going to be down to you to carry on the family business, but there is a difference between her leaving and being gone.
If she had left, you could still pick up the phone and call her, and at least get an answering machine message. But she's gone. She has crossed some river you can not follow her across, like the river Styx from the legends.
And maybe some day you can follow, but right now you have things to do before you make that crossing.