The night was falling on New York. It was a dark, stormy, and sinister night. A night for murder. The kind of night you expect to hear two gunshots in the darkness and run to help, only to find a devastated child with a future filled with bat costumes.

So. Night was falling and on one of the highest buildings, a dark silhouette contemplated the blood-red horizon. Flashes of lightning periodically illuminated his virile figure hunched next to a tortured gargoyle. The man held a small round object in his hand, which he looked at with determination. He turned away to stare at the storm.

"With great powers...," he whispered. His voice seemed to come from beyond the grave. He tossed the object into the air and retrieved it after it turned three times. He balanced it on his gloved finger. In a normal voice this time, he finished his sentence. "Come zero responsibilities!"

And then he disappeared.

Elsewhere, a few days later...

The X-Men mansion was unusually calm, because holidays just began. Most of the students had returned home. The ones that remained were those who had nowhere to go or who preferred the risk of a violent death in the next attack on the mansion rather than having to face a normal family meal. The few remaining residents had happily forgotten they had homework to dive into the pool. They wanted to be left alone. Even the adults stayed out of sight, mostly because they lost any patience with teenagers halfway through the semester. Nathan Summers, the resident time-traveler and squatter, was pretty sure he saw the famous Emma Frost earlier, drinking a gigantic martini on her deckchair. She hadn't noticed him, too busy counting a stack of copies as thick as Nate's arm, almost sobbing in despair. Dressed in an oversized tracksuit that may belong to Colossus, she didn't look like the image she left to posterity.

Nate had met no other famous X-Man since he arrived three days earlier. The meeting had been... awkward, to say the least. When he left him before the mansion, Wade Wilson had said something about budget cuts was a thing even in fanfiction. Nate didn't understand what he meant and ignored him. Whatever the reason for the X-Men's absence, no teenagers screaming or legends who had died years ago from his point of view disturbed Nate as he wandered into the mansion.

Finally, tired of wandering aimlessly, Nate went to the kitchen. After the last few years, and especially the last few days, he couldn't cope with the inaction. His time was a violent one. It was so hard to adjust to a more peaceful time than his apocalyptic world.

He missed his wife and daughter, even if he knew he would never see them again when he went back to the past. Nate needed a drink. Intoxication would be better than self-loathing.

In the kitchen, he found Negasonic Teenage Warhead and her girlfriend, finishing their breakfast. They were the first students he had seen in two days. Perhaps Wade was right about these budget cuts after all. Not in the mood to chat, Nate just nodded in their direction. He started looking into the fridge. Unfortunately, if Negasonic only responded with a growl of her own, Yukio would be in a chattier mood. She smiled at him when he sat done with a bear.

"Hi, Nate!"

He had to restrain himself from saying "Hi, Yukio", like Wade did. The girl slid a cookie towards him. Not wanting to be rude, he took it but stopped there. He wasn't hungry.

"Is it difficult to adjust?" the girl asked. "It must be."

Again, Nate thought of his wife and daughter, alive but not knowing where he had gone. If they lived, if they had met in the changed history he created, if... He thought of the bombs, the deadly pollution, the killing, and the never-ending violence. He nodded.

"Difficult. Yes."

He should have felt guilty that the adjustment wasn't even more difficult or that he wanted to fight something, anything, just to stop thinking. It was stupid. He shouldn't mope when he could use this opportunity to change the future even more.

Yukio opened her mouth again, probably to encourage him to talk about his feelings, but Negasonic lightly pressed her wrist to stop her. They settled for an uncomfortable silence. Nate had no other choice than to eat his cookie and leave, preferably with another beer. He was about to get up when Wolverine entered. The famous mutant looked so awful Nate stopped. Like Nate, Logan headed to the fridge and took a bear. He sat on the other end of the table and, instead of opening his can, he placed it on his forehead. The cold made him breathe in relief.

"Shit, you look like Juggernaut sat on you," Necasonic said.

Logan glared at her. Yukio leaned towards him, worry written all over her face. Nate couldn't help but think they made the strangest and cutest good cop/bad cop duo.

"Can I get you something, professor? Perhaps some paracetamol?"

"Apart from cutting off my head and frying my brain, I doubt you can help. Fuck. I can't think. My head hurt like hell since I woke up."

"No surprise, after a drinking night with Colossus and Nightcrawler," Negasonic sneered.

"We barely drank last night. No, it's something else. I don't know, like there's something wrong with my memories."

Nate, who was looking for an excuse to sneak away, suddenly became interested in the conversation.

"What do you mean?"

"Not sure," Logan frowned.

Nate exchanged a worried look with the two girls. It was never good to suspect something or someone changed your memories, especially when an X-Men, and especially with Jean Grey and Professor Xavier both away for a few days.

"Emma Frost could...," Yukio suggested with apprehension.

"No. Not her. Don't worry. It's probably nothing. Since Weapon X, my head's full of holes."

He didn't believe that, and neither did they. The two teenagers glanced sideways at each other as if deciding whether one of them should go get help, in case Logan became a danger for the students or the building.

"The thing is, I've got that impression. Like I remember the same moment in two different ways."

Instinct made Nate reach into his pocket. The time-traveling device was missing. Of course.

"Deadpool!" he roared.

"What does this weirdo have to do with my memory problems?" Logan asked, frowning. "What am I saying? Of course, the fucker must have something to do with it. I'd swear I saw him kill himself, or his double or something a few years back. I didn't remember that yesterday."

It must be Wade. He had stolen Nate's time-traveling machine behind his back. A feat, given the mercenary usual like of discretion. But how had he repaired it? The technology was decades ahead and Wade wasn't an electronic genius. He wasn't a genius at all, he just knew how to surround himself with more gifted and resourceful friends... like these two girls. Nate turned his attention to them and find their comportment suspicious. Negasonic avoided his gaze with a feigned nonchalance and Yukio couldn't help but blush while keeping her eyes on the table.

"What have you done?"

"He looked so sad," Yukio stammered. "So when he came with the device, we agreed to repair it. We boosted it a little, enough to make a few trips, five or six maximum. He promised he would only use it to save Vanessa and keep the rest of the energy so you could reunite with your family."

Nate shut down the hope he felt despite himself and turned toward Negasonic.

"And you? What's your excuse?"

"I like Wade. Don't tell him that. Mostly, I was bored. But I should have known he would cause trouble. It's almost his superpower."

"You can say that. Logan. I need to know exactly what you remember. Two sets of memories always mean someone has tampered with the timeline, so tell me what happened with Wade, both times."

"It won't take long. Even with two memory sets, I remember next to nothing."

Nate listened anyway. When Logan stopped talking, he stood up.

"Can I borrow a car or a bike?"

"Keys are in the staff room," Logan said, pouring himself a new beer, this time to drink it. "Give him hell for me. And take these two with you."

Negasonic opened his mouth to protest and closed it when Logan used a claw to open his beer.

"First rule of X-Men, kids. When you mess up, you clean up. And if you don't, I swear you won't like your note for this term and you'll retake your exam with me."

Nate felt impressed. He had never seen someone get ready so quickly for a mission. The two girls arrived at the garage in record time and got in the car without a word.

It took them a few hours to drive to New York. They went to the place where Wade lived with that blind woman, but he didn't live there anymore. Blind Al opened the door to them but said she hadn't seen him for months, since he went back to live with his girlfriend.

The building where Wade Wison and Vanessa Carlysle lived was unremarkable other than that it hadn't exploded recently. Negasonic pushed the door without knocking, and froze when she saw Wade sitting on his sofa bare-chest, bare legs, with only a slim blanket covering his nudity. He was watching porn.

"Can't a man clean his gun in peace?"

Nate was going to kill him. This one the reason he hadn't kept in touch with the mercenary or talked with him about X-Force.

"Keep your sexual innuendo to yourself."

"What? No, I really was cleaning my gun. Look."

To prove his point, he lifted the blanket. Underneath, he was wearing pink lace briefs and was indeed holding a gun. The image immediately stuck in Nate's mind for later use. Once you got used to the wilted avocado skin, the package was quite interesting.

"I'm going to have nightmares for life," Negasonic said. "You'll pay for my therapy. And turn off the porn."

"Wrong again, it's reality TV. Did you know asthmatics doing an obstacle course make the same sound as porn? Don't worry, Awesome McCoolname, I have hidden my porn very well. But if you need some, lesbian porn is behind the left shelf. Serve yourself. Hi, Yukio!"

"Hi, Wade!"

"We need to talk, Wade," Nate said.

"Oh... I love it when you talk to me like that. Should we ask the sapphic duo to get out? I doubt they'd like the show."

"You stole something from me. Explain yourself."

Wade sighed but invited them to sit down, placing the blanket back on his lap. Nate preferred to stay standing. He wouldn't sit anywhere Wade lived without disinfecting the entire place first. Or burning it to the ground. He said nothing when the two girls accepted the offer. The visit would traumatize them enough.

"You stole my machine and altered the past without thinking about the consequences. You've got a lot to answer for."

"Because you did when you came here?"

"Not enough. But at least I was aware of the issue and the risks. They trained me for that. You weren't. You shouldn't have stolen it."

"But... how did he steal it?" Yukio asked.

"He was in shock after I gave him the best orgasm of his life."

"In your dreams."

Nate barely stopped himself from smiling.

"Every night, and every morning when I wake up and find mini-Deadpool standing to attention."

"Seriously, Wade."

"The other day, when you were in the shower in the mansion. Was the elbow grease on the sink for your arm joints or for masturbation? Were you thinking of me?"

Only the first day after he arrived at the mansion, Nate thought, but no way he was saying it out loud. It wasn't his fault the man had insinuated himself into his thoughts despite himself. Wade amused him when nothing had since he arrived in the 21st century, that was all.

"Can you be serious for five minutes?"

"I'm always serious when I see these muscles of steel. I'm all yours, and my gun too."

Nate wanted to ram his head into the wall but also needed to fight the urge to outdo him with more salacious remarks. Idiocy was contagious.

"What did you do, Wade?"

"Let's see... I saved Vanessa's life. I took out a talentless actor who would have played in Green Lantern, Ryan Reynolds, don't know if you've heard of him. Really overrated, don't watch his films. I've settled counts with myself and here we are! You'll get your wife out of the fridge, like my Vanessa. I hate this trope."

He proudly placed the machine on the table, displaying an awfully hopeful smile. He looked so happy for him that Nate didn't have the heart to explain how wrong he was. Better to stay on less dangerous subjects.

"It's dangerous to kill in your past, but you did worse than that. By killing yourself, you created a temporal paradox."

Wade waved his hand.

"Nah, you're wrong. Since Days of Future Past, the first Wolverine movie is no longer canon."

Nate didn't even bother to pretend that the sentence made any sense.

"Wolverine has two diametrically distinct memories sets of that day. In one, you show up and kill yourself. In the second, he decapitates you and you destroy a nuclear power plant by falling inside its cooling tower. The plant will be repaired, but permanently decommissioned in 2025 because of leaking risks linked to the accident. In 2139, a mad mutant will cause a catastrophe that will wipe out everything within a hundred-mile radius of every active nuclear power plant in the country. Because it was closed, people around Three Mile Island survived. Do you want to have that much dead on your conscience?"

Wade didn't seem concerned. He grabbed a bag of chips and went back to watching his show, but Nate saw a flash of guilt in his eyes and understood why Deadpool wore a mask. It wasn't just because he was ashamed his face looked like a street after an earthquake. He cared too much for a mercenary. He wasn't a good man, but Nate could convince him if he found the right words.

"I care."

Nate turned around. A gorgeous woman stood in the doorway. Looking at her, it was hard to understand what a woman like her could find in a man like Wade Wilson. Nate opened his mouth to explain the situation, but Vanessa paid him no attention. She was frowning, her eyes fixed on the time machine.

"Go, Wade."

The mercenary took her in his arms.

"I can't leave you," he begged. "I just got you back."

"And I'm grateful I'm alive, especially because you need someone to stop yourself from being an idiot, and let's be honest, Colossus is not the right man for the job. I understand what you must have gone through when you lost me, but that doesn't mean you have a right to turn me into a fragile doll that might break if you leave me alone for a few days. I don't like it when your work follows you at home, but don't count on me to hide just to preserve your feelings."

Just like that, Nate understood why Wade had been so affected by her death. Vanessa was an amazing woman, and he admired her strength. He had once said Wade reminded him of his wife, with his habit of using humor as a shield, but Vanessa also reminded him of her, just differently.

"If you fear for her, Wade, the X-Men can help."

"I don't want or need help. I'll live my life just like I always did, and none of you can't stop me. But sorry, I didn't introduce myself. Vanessa. I suppose you're Cable."

"I am. I must say, I'm happy my travel in the past at least saved your life."

Vanessa looked him up and down for a long time, then smiled.

"Wade, you have my absolute and definitive authorization," she said.

For once, Wade was speechless, and Nate didn't understand how Vanessa shut him up. He needed to learn that trick.

"Now hurry and fix your mess," Vanessa added, quite happy with herself. "The baby machine won't wait."

The mercenary hesitated and gave Nate a guilty look before turning back to Vanessa.

"I can't," he admitted. "I'm too afraid of losing you again."

Nate and Vanessa opened their mouths at the same time to speak before both motioning for the other to begin, opened their mouths again and stopped. It was awkward.

"Then we'll do it", Negasonic said.

Wade, Vanessa, and Nate turned toward the two girls together. They had forgotten they were here. The two girls were sitting next to the table, holding each other, and they placed their hands on the time machine. Nate's heart stopped beating for half a second. The time machine wasn't designed to transport two people simultaneously, let alone for such a frequent use in such a short time frame. They didn't know the risks, just like he said to Wade. Nate remembered he should let his heartbeat, and he moved, but he was too late. Only his fingertips touched the metal disk. Two arms encircled his waist, too low for his liking, and the world spun. A blinding light enveloped Nate. He lost consciousness.

A light breath on his lips helped Nate to come back to himself. He opened his eyes, suppressed an instinctive urge to vomit, and punched Wade with all his might. Wade flew twenty paces away into a tree, knocked unconscious. Satisfied, Nate stood up to ensure that he didn't break a bone during the time travel. Everything seemed to work, so he looked around him. They were in a field, obviously lost in the middle of nowhere. On the horizon, between the trees, we could see a farm and a grain silo. If there was a road nearby, it wasn't a busy one. He couldn't hear an engine.

"I was just going to give you mouth-to-mouth," Wade protested. "You were unconscious for a long time."

"I prefer to be awake for this sort of activity."

Wade's face lit up. He jumped to his feet.

"Really? All you had to do was ask!"

He was ridiculous. He had twigs in his hair, and he was only wearing his lace briefs. They may be lost in time and space, Negasonic and Yukio nowhere in sight, and it was still the funniest thing Nate had seen in years. He couldn't stop laughing.

"Glad you're enjoying the show, Priscilla, but it's getting cold and if I want to make a little Wade Junior with Vanessa, I need a little pool to survive New Jersey's temperatures."

"How do you know we're in New Jersey?"

"Have you heard of any other state when the air itself feels like you want to jump out of a window?"

"All States looked like that in my time. Or worse. I'll take your word for it. Which means we need to find the date and hope we're not too late."

"And how are you sure when it happened? Wolverine's brain has more holes than a French cheese."

"It is our only reference, unless you're ready to share. You were there too."

"But I don't want to change things," Wade whined. "That other Deadpool was an abomination who deserved death a thousand times over for his mere existence. When I think I made him canon again by killing him… I should have left it alone. Days of the Future Past had relegated him to oblivion from which he should never have emerged... I'm a criminal!"

"If you say so. As for the girls..."

"Thelma and Louise? I'm sure they're doing great. They'll find us. After all, they know as much as you."

"It's a dangerous time."

"The 70s? Sure. It'll be even easier to find them. We'll follow the trail of homophobes with an electrified crowbar stuck in their ass."

"I can not wait to see that."

In truth, Nate wasn't overly worried about them. If the time machine wasn't there with Nate and Wade, they had it. The girls had repaired it once, they would do it again if needed and find themselves back to the safety of the Mansion. Rather than worry, they should set off.

The farm appeared deserted, but it was not abandoned. In a corner of the yard, there was an old, nearly broken car. Nate told Wade to find them suitable clothes for the period and some food. He was glad to be alone for a moment and used the time to look for the car keys. He found them in the barn with two rifles, a hunting knife, and ammunition. When he went out, he froze, seeing Wade lying on the hood of the car, dressed in fuchsia bellbottom pants and a too-big white shirt with yellow flowers that showed too much of his chest.

"I think I preferred the sight of your wrinkled little ass."

"You just need to ask if you want to see it again. The house is always open and never refuses customers of your caliber. I found something for you to wear. I put it in the back."

Nate's apprehension was largely justified. The beige pants were okay, even if a little too tight, but the shirt with the rainbow waves was... No word could do justice to that abomination.

"I know, I know. It was the only thing that could suit you, I swear. Would you have preferred a mustard jersey?"

Nate's protestations died in his mouth. He went back to the barn to change. When he came back, Wade was eating a sandwich on the passenger seat. He dropped it, too busy ogling Nate.

"Why are my pants so tight?" he moaned.

"Stop that."

"But really. I am as sincere in my admiration as a politician on the eve of an election. No. Poor example. Let's just say that Hugh Jackman just fell off his pedestal because these pants just got you the first three places on the podium. But he can take back the third place if he ever makes a movie with me. "

"You're a very enterprising man for someone who's supposed to be happily married and attempting to have a child," Nate said as he started the car.

"Didn't you hear Vanessa? I have her absolute permission to hit on you. After what you did for me..."

"I didn't do it for you", Nate reminded him, knowing it was a lost battle. Including, perhaps, in his own mind.

"After you sacrificed everything for me, like the big and fluffy teddy bear you are deep inside, I told her I owe you at least a blowjob."

"Only if it can shut you up for a minute straight."

Wade laughed and patted him on the shoulder.

"Do you really think you can shut me up for an entire minute? You overestimate your sexual abilities. Anyway, Vanessa told me she needed to see you before giving me her consent, but she exceeded all my wildest dreams, and my dreams about you are particularly crazy. For example, I would love an intimate encounter between your metal fist and..."

Nate choked.

"I think this is going too far."

"Nah, we have an M rating, no need to censor ourselves. Turn right, there's a town a little farther away."

There was one. Wade went fishing for some intel, leaving Nate free to worry. He liked the mercenary caustic and dirty humor and his contagious madness, but he didn't trust him not to round up a crowd armed with pitchforks in a small town in the '70s. Unfortunately, Wade was right. Nate's arm and eye would attract questions and make the people unwilling to talk to him, while Wade could pretend he came back from Vietnam like that and get some compassion if - and that was a big if - he did nothing stupid. It must be what faith felt like, let Wade Wilson do things on his own. Nate wondered if Vanessa wanted to put him on a leash, too.

The car's right door opened just before his thoughts became too dangerous. Wade sat and opened a map.

"Good news is we still have time. The bad news is we're not in New Jersey, but in Vermont. We've got an eight-hour ride ahead of us."

Nate bit back a groan of frustration and grabbed the map. Wade showed him their position. He was right.

"When I killed that disaster of a Deadpool-wannabee, it was just before sunrise. If we only take short breaks, we can be there on time to stop my previous self from killing him. Do not even try to convince him to spare him. That's a lost cause since 2009. We save the world and we go home. Me to Vanessa's arms, you to your wife."

Nate grunted what he hoped could pass as assent and started the car.

"You'll read the map. It's going to be a long journey."

"And you know what that means? Montage!"

It was going to be a very long trip indeed. For the first hour, Wade rambled on and on about all the musicals and movies Nate needed to see because he made the mistake of admitting cinema had disappeared somewhere between apocalypses number four and five and he only knew some famous quotes that survived. Of course, Wade decided he needed a catch-up lesson. Nate tried to ignore him, but it was difficult.

"Oh, and there's Resident Evil. It's like a porno. You watch it to masturbate to the aestheticist slow motion."

"I guess that sentence would make more sense if porn still existed in my time."

"Oh my god. Is that why you stayed here, at this time? How did you survive without porn? I could never!"

Nate chuckled and focused back on the road. Wade's voice faded into the background. It was almost relaxing until Wade started singing some Celine Dion during the second hour of the trip, "I owe her, she let me dance on stilettos for her", over and over, before he moved on to Cher. When he got tired, he started fiddling with everything within his reach: the glove box, the window, Nate's arm... all while making the most awful noises possible with his mouth.

After two hours, Nate would have given anything to make him stop. A gas station on the side of the road, still open despite the late hour, offered him the moment of silence he needed. Nate told him to fill the gas tank while he bought a sandwich inside the station that had seen better days. He ate it standing up while looking at the road. The place was typically American, like in the old photographs. In his time, the only thing left was probably a crater or a smoking ruin, but everything was still standing for now and Nate was going to make sure it stayed that way for as long as possible. It helped to get some time to breathe and when he came back, Wade was behind the wheel, looking more serious.

For a while, they drove in silence while Nate stared at the clock in apprehension. A silent Wade Wilson couldn't be a good thing. Nate wasn't sure he wanted to know what he was thinking about, and he was right.

"So, should we talk about the way you change the subject every time I talk about you going back to your wife and daughter?"

Nate groaned. Someone should write a law forbidding Wade to think. Life would be simpler for everyone.

"It's complicated," he finally admitted. "I can't go back."

"Why? I saved Vanessa. I still went back to make friends with the X-Men, ensuring that I would be imprisoned and in the right place to stop you from killing Russel. You saved me, you saved your family, right? Your teddy bear is proof enough. So, what are you waiting for to go back to them?"

Nate took the teddy bear off his belt and looked at it for a moment.

"What does it prove?"

"That they're alive."

"No. Only that the bear never burned in a fir. We prevented the birth of a monster, but there were many more murderous madmen like Russel in my time. He even killed some of them. The future has changed, not only my family's but bigger things too. Maybe I never gave Hope that bear and it's still in a crate in the abandoned warehouse where I found it. Maybe she died younger. Maybe her mother and I never met, and she never existed. Maybe I became a different man before I met my wife and I wasn't the father she needed. I don't have a home to go to, Wade. I lied. From the beginning, I knew it was a one-way ticket."

He glanced at the mercenary. Wade was focusing on his driving, but his hands tightened on the wheel.

"When Vanessa died, I blew myself up with our apartment," he finally admitted in a whisper. "You did the same, metaphorically."

That was the truest depiction of what he did. He blew himself up so hard he came back before he was born because it was easier not knowing if his family lived and missed him than grieving for them.

His laugh sounded empty to his own ears.

"I don't know which one of us should get more pity."

"Me, of course," Wade smiled. "Have you seen my face? But isn't it funny how much we have in common? It's like some writers created us for each other without knowing it."

And Nate hadn't told him about the techno-organic virus that had been devouring him since childhood. He didn't plan to mention it, but it was truly uncanny how their stories matched.

"I'm not that good-looking under that awful shirt myself," he said, half-joking.

"Is this a competition? If so, we need a referee and to get naked."

"Only if you found a more impartial referee than your appetite for my ass."

Wade grumbled something that sounded like a diatribe against people who had muscles like Nate's. He sniffed mockingly before he closed his eyes. For once, Wade Wade respected his need for quiet, content to speak to himself in a muffled tone that helped Nate dozing.

Odd. The man had found how to go beyond madness and invented a new category just for himself. No one else could be that self-centered, but Wade was. He was also compassionate and understanding. Nate hadn't been able to say out loud the truth about his family since he arrived in the past. He had met his father and found it difficult to make small talk with him. But Wade made it easy. He understood Nate, as few people did. And yet, he was frustrating him terribly, in every sense of the word.

That was another thing Nate needed to think about. He couldn't even mourn his family, yet he still felt attracted to Wade against all common sense. Was he flirting with the mercenary just to avoid having to think about his family? He needed to take the time to think about it instead of continuing to respond to his salacious propositions with allusions of his own, starting immediately.

The light pressure of two fingers moving gently up his thigh to his crotch woke him up. With his metal hand, Nate grabbed Wade's and twisted it violently. He opened his eyes and looked at Wade's face from a distance usually not recommended. That was enough to remind him where he was and why. He released his grip on Wade's wrist. He probably had broken his wrist, but the mercenary didn't seem disturbed by the pain or the violence. Instead, he mouthed the word "sexy" and Nate didn't know whether to apologize or laugh.

"We thank you for choosing Air Wilson," Wade crooned. "It's almost five in the morning, the weather is cold, Three Mile Island is just across the Susquehanna, and we're on schedule. I heard a helicopter go by. Logan must be proving that he is the best at what he does."

"Amazing. You drove for several hours straight without being a nuisance."

Wade squirmed in his seat.

"To be sincere, I asked the author for a time ellipse. In exchange, I promised them to stop flooding their inbox with demands and recriminations."

This speech had to make sense in Wade's reality. Nate ignored him, got out of the car, and looked at the sinister power plant on the other side of the river.

"How did you get in there last time? The place must be full of guards if they're experimenting on mutants there."

"I teleported directly to the scene, into the blind spot of the camera to surprise the viewer when I entered the scene. This time, we'll have to do it the old-fashioned way. I know the place well enough to know how to get there in time to stop myself from killing myself."

"Explain."

"No. I hate exposition dialogue, unless it's sexposition, thanks to Game of Thrones. Ros is such an underrated character."

The mercenary grabbed one of their rifles and started crossing the river. Nate had no choice but to follow. Fortunately, the current was not fast. Under cover of darkness, they crossed easily to the island, keeping their ammunition dried. It took them a minute to get the water out of their shirt. There may have been some prying eyes, but neither would tell.

Security at Three Mile Island was tight, but they were better at what they do, as Wade said. Silently, Wade and Nate slipped behind two guards and knocked them out. When they had better weapons than a '60 shotgun and a hunting knife, they went closer to the nuclear station, taking out every guard. Nate felt no pity toward people complicit in mutant experimentation, but hoped no one would notice their disappearance and trigger the alarm. He was proud to say Wade insisted on facilitating the mutants' escape. He wasn't so bad.

It was a little harder getting inside the complex, but they got through a poorly guarded air vent. Once inside, they tried to avoid patrols, hiding when one came in their direction. Unfortunately, Wade's mood swung as they went further into the depths of the base. He complained about the quality of the plot, about Wolverine's arrogance, continuity problems, and about not killing the previous version of him.

"Honestly, giving me the power of twenty mutants? Like I need that to be the best comic book character ever! And if they had to give me lots of superpowers, at least let them be cool powers! I could do many interesting things with Magento's power, like fun dildos. But Cyclops'? He's the least charismatic X-Men, even worse than Jean-Paul Baubier."

"He's my father."

Wade gasped in surprise and turned around to look straight into Nate's eyes. He realized that Wade only knew him as Cable, a time traveler, a grieving father and a widower.

"What?"

"Nate Christopher Charles Dayspring Summers, son of Scott Summers," he introduced himself, extending a hand to Wade.

The man looked like he couldn't believe it, taking a long glance at Nate's biceps and face. Nate raised an eyebrow at him.

"Wait. How can a lame guy like Cyclops give birth to this concentration of charisma and muscles? That's not how genetics works! On the other hand, I can't believe I'm going to fuck Jean Grey's son. Unless you prefer to fuck me hard and good? Honestly, as long as I can climb you like a tree one day, I'm ready to try anything."

"I could be an old-fashioned kind of man, waiting for you to ask my parents for permission first."

Nate almost ran into Wade when he stopped and looked at him with an unreadable expression before he moaned.

"God, Priscilla, that's the sexiest thing I've ever heard you say."

"How so?"

Wade grabbed him by the wrists and looked him straight in the eyes.

"You just gave me permission to ask Scott Summers for your hand or your ass, in front of Professor Xavier and all the X-Men, while being as gross as I can. This is the most beautiful love declaration anyone has ever made to me."

Nate groaned. It almost was one, or at least a permission to pursue. Nate couldn't deny his interest. Wade amused him. Intrigued him. He hadn't planned it, but he wasn't a man, or mutant, to go back on his promises like a coward. So much for his good resolutions. He pressed himself against Wade and brushed his lips. The mercenary groaned in protest when he stopped, but Nate just laughed at him.

"Go restore order in the Force and everything will be negotiable. Even leading me to the altar in a white dress."

Wade moaned against him. Nate easily got out of his grip on his wrists and gently pushed him forward. Wade needed to stop a murder before anything else could happen.

They found out what they were looking for right after that. The corridor lead into a large room, kind of warehouse, with a large door at each end. A bald man wearing only red pants was heading towards one of these two doors. Based on his build, it was the other Wade. The door he was heading towards opened on a younger Wolverine than the one Nate saw not two days earlier. Suddenly, a third Wade appeared out of nowhere and pointed his gun at the first Wade Wilson, the one the humans experimented on.

"Hey, Shitpool!"

Nate growled in frustration as he heard the scream and the gunshot. Neither came from the third Deadpool. It was his Wade. The first of the three Wilsons collapsed. He was dead. The one dressed like his Deadpool turned towards them.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Wade said, raising his arms. "Look, you were going to make a big mistake by killing him, but so was I, so I forgive you. Now I'm going to fix it all. The easiest thing would be for you to go back to where you came from and wait for Miss Summers here to contact you. Trust me, you're in for the best bromance of our lives. Maybe even not a bromance for much longer, if you know what I mean."

"Holy Mary of garter belts! You mean we're banging the metal messiah of the future?"

"You bet we're doing that! Now, be a good Deadpool, and fire two more bullets at this caricature. It's great for frustration, I'll never get over making this abomination canon again, and go home. Have good sex with Vanessa. Don't forget to settle the score with Ryan "zero talent" Reynolds on the way."

"Dude, it's even better than talking with the little yellow boxes!" Deadpool said, before shooting the man on the ground three times and disappearing again.

Nate was going insane. Wade patted him on the arm in sympathy.

"Sorry, I really couldn't let this thing survive. We move on to plan number two. I keep Wolverine busy. You destroy the base. Be a good little messiah from the future and save the world so that I can blow you."

Strangely, this plan made more sense than his previous one, at least more than trusting Wade not to screw it up. Nate reluctantly agreed. If Wade distracted Wolverine, it gave him time to think of a way to blow up a nuclear power plant cooling tower without his usual weapons. He'd never admit it out loud, because Wade would have jumped at the chance of making an innuendo, but he missed his oversized rifles. The 21st century only seemed to make little girls' guns.

No sooner had he given his permission than Wade ran towards Wolverine. Taken aback, the other mutant still hadn't moved.

"And action!" Wade shouted. "Hi Wolvie! Do you recognize me? I know, I know, I've had a makeover or two since we last saw each other. I even have two films under my belt, you know? $53 million on day one, not bad, right? Think you can do better?"

Wolverine growled and dug his claws into Wade's chest before turning to face Cable. The mercenary immediately got up.

"Hey, don't worry about him! It's only Mr. 90s. You might like him. Anti-hero, looks cool, big arms, big guns, tough guy, zero narrative depth. Originally. Now the authors have given him some depth and all that. We're not quite at that point yet in the films, but I'm optimistic for X-Force. If we have approval from the studios, and well, I don't think that joke will age well. But Cable's not the hero of the day. He's here to swoon in admiration, watching me fight you without a katana, just a gun, two bullets, and a mouth. Dance the tango with me! Not horizontal tango, of course. I'm saving myself for Priscilla."

"I don't know what you're playing, Wilson," Wolverine growled, "and I don't know what Stryker is playing, but you can be sure I'll shut you up for good."

"Century Fox tried in 2009 but I'm like a cockroach. I always rise from the ashes."

He fired his first bullet right into Wolverine's heart. The mutant looked at his chest and then at the mercenary as if he couldn't believe that Wade could be stupid enough to think a bullet would stop him. He pounced on the mercenary, this time digging his claws into his neck. Wade rolled backward, then started running, dragging Wolverine towards the ajar warehouse door. Nate could see the cooling tower outside.

Once alone, Nate went to see the body lying in the center of the room and kneeled down beside it. He had to admit he was curious why Wade was so insistent on killing this version of himself. The man had fallen face down on the ground. Nate turned the corpse over. A shiver of horror ran through him. How many times lately had he wished the mercenary would shut up? Well, someone had managed to silence him.

An anger that Nate hadn't felt since Wade had stopped Russell from killing burned in his stomach. Those who tortured Wade like this needed to pay for it. The man only tolerated his condition thanks to his ability to laugh about it. To take that away from him was ruthless. Nate stood up and walked out, searching everywhere for ways to wreak havoc on the island, to no avail.

Hearing footsteps behind him, he turned around, ready to shoot.

"You're here too?" Negasonic was taken aback to see him here as well. She wasn't the only one.

"See, I told you I saw him touch the machine," Yukio smiled, visibly very satisfied to have won their argument on this subject.

Relieved he had finally found them, Nate put his weapons away.

"We have to blow up this chimney. Are you up for it?" he asked Negasonic.

The young girl looked at the tower and nodded.

"No problem. This was our plan from the start. I'm waiting for Wade to get off or not?"

Taken aback, Nate turned around. Wade was indeed at the top of the cooling tower, fighting Wolverine and another man. The sun was rising.

"How could he have gotten up there?" Yukio wondered. "I know he's talented but..."

On the tower, Wade noticed their presence. He waved his arms enthusiastically.

"Hey, Yukio!", he yelled.

The girl waved at him but couldn't answer with a "Hey Wade" before the third man pushed him away. They watched Wade fall from the tower. The fall would kill him, but not definitely so none of then worried. Negasonic focused her power in an energy ball.

"I hope Professor Logan won't be too angry with me when we return home. There's no way I'm going to fail my year."

She jumped, so bright Nate had to close his eyes. He opened them again when the tower exploded. Cable had time to see Wolverine and the other man fall before the cloud of dust obscured them from his view. Wade was nowhere inside

The dust took a while to settle. Nate and Yukio waited patiently, certain that Negasonic would find them and that Wade would have survived his fall. Negasonic was the first to come back, still rubbing some dust from her shoulders. Yukio grabbed her hand and kissed the corner of her nose. They exchanged a few words in a low voice. Yukio laughed at what Negasonic told her. Nate couldn't help but smile. He remembered being young and in love. The mercenary eventually emerged from the dust cloud, covered in blood and rubble.

"It was fun! Can we blow up another one?"

"No!" the other three yelled in the same breath.

Of course, it didn't dampen Wade's excitement.

"That will tell that fake Canadian! Hiring an Australian to play a Canadian, what a shame. At least Ryan Reynolds was bottle-fed with maple syrup. But hey, wouldn't say no to a movie with the both of us on the same screen. I'm sure I can convince him. Or force him."

Nate ignored him and extended his hand towards the two girls. Yukio returned the time machine to him with a small apologetic smile. He hoped there would be enough energy for one last trip because the island would soon swarm with soldiers and investigators. Nate preferred not to get stuck in the 1960s. It would be a good place to start saving the world from itself, but he had heard about the team feuding between Professor Xavier and Magneto over custody of the mutant community. Best to avoid the next decade at least. Nate adjusted the parameters of his machine.

"Ready?"

The two girls placed a hand on the machine, still holding each other. Nate grabbed Wade by the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer.

The world turned.

They crashed with more (Yukio) or less (Wade) grace onto the lawn behind the Xavier Institute. It was dark. Nate stood up, trying to gather his dignity. The mansion was intact, except for recent burn marks on the west wing.

"It looks like the right period, but is it?"

Yukio turned on her cell phone.

"If this is true, we came back the night before we left, which means all we have to do now is stay out of sight and out of the telepaths' range until we leave tomorrow morning to go meet Wade."

"I know a place where the both of us can spend the night," Negasonic said. "See you tomorrow."

Wade and Nate watched them walk away. The mercenary sighed.

"Kids. They grow up so quickly. It seems like it was yesterday that they traveled in time for the first time."

"They're all right."

Nate couldn't hide the slight worry in his voice and winced. He shouldn't reveal so easily how much he cared about these people, Wade included, but the mercenary always knew how to let his guard down. It was dangerous.

"I know what you're thinking," Wade said. You're having your big heroic monologue where you decide that you can't get attached to people so that you won't suffer when they inevitably die, or so that they won't suffer the day you leave everyone behind. Knowing your superhero type, I guess you'll decide any minute you should start a solo career where you drown yourself in work and melancholy before dying in a great heroic sacrifice that will make you a revered messiah for the next few centuries, but ultimately failing to change anything on Earth. I know what you're thinking because I think the same. Minus the messiah complex, of course."

"You're close to the truth."

It was a difficult thing to admit aloud. Wade shrugged.

"Look at me. I have Vanessa, and we're going to have a child, but sometimes I just want to blow up my head 'til Judgement Day because I would rather be dead than live with the señor cancer that threatens to kill me if my self-healing powers weaken. So, you and I need to choose between two things. First, we can drown in our own depression until we die."

He stopped right there, forcing Nate to ask.

"And the second choice?"

"We could fuck like rabbits and not care about the future until tomorrow morning?"

With all the insolence of a man who has nothing to lose and anticipates rejection and mockery, Wade fixed his gaze upon him. But Nate didn't want to make fun of him. He stayed quiet.

"That's what the public wants," Wade said. "Believe me, fanfiction authors are much less hesitant than the mainstream media to give them what they want."

"What can I say, if the public wants this..."

Nate kissed him, leaving Wade stunned and speechless for once. Very amused by the situation, Nate kept a neutral face while he led him to his room, knowing he had spent the night before he left for the 70' lying on the grass in the garden, unable to sleep. No one would disturb them. It was probably the worst idea of his life, but Nate didn't care enough to regret it, even knowing the mercenary's hopes of having a family with Vanessa. He had nothing left and was not yet ready to mourn the loss of his family. That thing was doomed to failure. But right now, there was nothing he wanted more than to see if he could make Wade Wilson shut up and scream.

On the threshold of the door, Wade hesitated.

"I didn't think you were just a big mouth incapable of going all the way," Nate smiled. "And I allowed myself to be seduced by all these obscene propositions..."

"You think that was obscene? Let me show you how obscene I can get!" Wade pushed him inside.

The sun was already high when Nate woke up. He forced himself out of bed and opened the curtains, just in time to see his past self leaving the mansion with Negasonic and Yukio. Moments later, Wade opened his eyes and immediately jumped out of bed, offended.

"Wait, wait, what do you mean a line break and that's it? My big sex scene, the one I put my whole soul into, and it's reduced to a line break? What did the author think?"

Nate walked behind him and put his hand on his ass.

"As long as you keep traces of last night, you have nothing to complain about, right?"

"As if! I was saving myself for this moment! I saved my best lines for this moment. I've been waiting for it for ages! I'm going to find the bitch who typed that line break and have them meet Bea and Arthur, intimately! The public has questions! He wants to know if you're as well hung as you look if you get dirty when you're having sex..."

"Well, the public can write his own texts on the subject," Nate said nonchalantly while looking for something to put on his back that was less disgusting than these 70' clothes.

"Sweet metal Jesus! Are you referring to the fourth wall? You must be my soulmate! My other soulmate, at least."

Nathan smiled absently and got dressed. He had lots of things to do, like checking on the two teenagers or talking with Wolverine. And Wade would probably want to get back to Vanessa as quickly as possible.

"I don't know if you can take a car to get back to your home, but there's a phone in the lobby if you want to call a cab, so you should dress. I need to talk to Logan, but I'm sure we'll see each other again someday."

It was for the best. Last night was a mistake. Wade was anything but a good man, but neither was Nate. Despite that, Wade had the right to happiness. He had the right to a normal family life. And Nate had a future to save and a techno-organic virus that was slowly killing him. What he felt for Wade, affection, attraction, or otherwise, didn't matter and wouldn't matter, so he might as well put this whole thing behind them. He walked out without looking back, forcing his mind to focus on the task at hand.

He didn't notice the hurt look on Wade's face.