Sae Niijima, 21/06 (P5)
Happy Solstice, and Indigenous peoples day
When Sae was young, she looked up to her father, and the justice he believed in.
It's why she went into law. To put away the people her father took off the streets.
She idolized him and his law right up until a little after she passed the bar, when her father got himself killed.
Then she had to take care of Makoto.
Makoto is a good kid. She tries her best to help, and not be a burden, and do her best in school. She's trying so hard to be good.
Sae tries too. Sae is doing her best to make sure Makoto gets to go to a good university like she did.
Sae was a good sister, even with all the years of distance. Perhaps because of the years of distance. It lets her be a good listener and mentor.
But Makoto doesn't need a mentor right now. She doesn't need a sister. She needs a p- a caretaker. And all she has is Sae, who has everything on her plate right now.
Her father's apartment is not something she can keep on a fresh lawyer's budget. She needs to sell it, and move her and Makoto into a smaller apartment.
And that means she needs to spend time getting rid of things the new apartment will not have space for. It means she needs to hunt for an apartment. It also means she needs to get work so she can better afford the new place. She takes to working long hours, and the most high profile case she can find.
As such, while she is happy Makoto took initiative to go shopping, she is not happy to find that she bought the same quantity of food she would have with their father still alive.
She takes her sister out to the market that weekend, to learn how to budget.
Makoto slowly takes over the household duties of cooking, cleaning, and budgeting, while Sae works so her sister can enjoy aikido, study, and someday, university.
It's exhausting, and the justice she had looked at with the idealism inherited from her father tarnished under the realities of the law.
Sae keeps going. She's not going to let some social worker take her sister away.
She climbs the corporate ladder, and stays longer as Makoto does not need her help as much, and anyways, it's for her future.
It discomforts her, when she finds herself struggling to recall the last meaningful conversation she had with her sister. It sits in her mind like a smooth stone from a garden fountain, and she pockets it, and leaves it there.
Maybe someday, when Makoto has independence, they can talk like they used to. (Or maybe by then, too much will have happened for them to ever have that ease again). But for now, Makoto doesn't need a sister.
She needs a guardian.