Ch 2 Everything You Ever Dreamed

"Contrarium amoris non odium est, sed indifferentia."

Plink, Plink, Plink.

Beau awoke to find himself in the same spot as before. There were no clocks he could see, but he felt certain he hadn't passed out for more than a couple of minutes.

When his eyes fluttered open, the room swam before him. He blinked rapidly, his heart pounding in his chest, each beat a drum signaling his return to consciousness.

The first thing he saw was Edythe's face, her eyes wide with worry, and the tension draining from her body as she exhaled a long, relieved sigh.

He wanted, no, needed, to get up and comfort her. It pained him to see her upset for his sake.

"There's no need for you to stay for this, Edythe. Beau, would you like to go to a hospital or have me treat your wounds here? The choice is yours."

"Here, I'm fine really, just slap on a couple of band-aids and I'll be fine tomorrow morning."

He tried to get up, wincing as a sharp pain shot up his side, but Carine didn't let him. Pressing her knee atop him, not enough to hurt but keeping him on the ground as she continued at her work with incredible speed.

"I'm staying," Edythe insisted.

"I'll be fine, Edythe. I promise, please." Beau said, his voice weak but determined. "There's no need for you to torture yourself like this."

"He's right," Archie appeared like a shadow behind Edythe as he gently chimed in. "Jessamine is calmed down now, but she's not talking to anyone. The only one she'll listen to is you."

Archie tried to nudge her away from him, but she didn't budge an inch. Her whole body was still as she seemed entranced by Carine removing the glass from his wound.

"Please, she feels terrible Edythe, at least talk to her."

"Fine." Edythe growled the word out. Now that all three of them were arguing with her, she relented.

Archie followed behind her as she stormed off, leaving him alone with Carine.

She was back to her task. The way she acted was enough to make him think she wasn't really a vampire. If her supernatural beauty and lightning fast movements weren't a dead giveaway.

His mind struggled to grasp that she was the oldest vampire he'd met by far, the founder of the entire Cullen family. She looked about as close to 30 as he did.

"How can you do it?"

"Be around this much blood and remain calm? Practice, I suppose. I hardly notice the smell nowadays."

It amazed him that a vampire could so completely conquer their instincts. It made him wonder how long it had taken her to reach that point. Edythe had spent decades as a vampire and still struggled with temptation. The same was true of Archie.

"So…how old are you, exactly?"

"You know, it's considered impolite to ask a lady her age."

"Oh, Sorry, I didn't think of that."

His downcast expression elicited a rare laugh from the woman as she playfully tousled his hair.

"I'm kidding Beau, she was right, you are too easy to tease. Last year was my 365th birthday. Give or take a few years, timekeeping wasn't an exact science until centuries later. Edythe told you the story of my transformation, did she not?"

"Your father was a clergyman."

"An Inquisitor to be more specific. He was a man of god, or so he claimed. But I saw what he'd blinded himself to. The families ripped apart, the lives ruined, all in pursuit of a goal that, at the time, had seemed ridiculous. I never felt god in my father. Not until his last moments. God is not cruel, he does not inflict his wrath on his own children."

It surprised him to hear her speak of god. In his mind, the two were diametrically opposed. That was when they'd been merely fantasy. Like all of his assumptions about vampires, it made sense this was wrong, too.

They were predators, but they didn't have to be. A god who'd ignore the constant struggle 'vegetarian' vampires have gone through didn't sound like one worth believing in.

"Do you think that includes vampires?"

"I do, though I'm alone in that belief. Edythe is the only other vampire I've met who even believes in god, but she has her own problems with the spiritual nature of our condition."

"Because she doesn't think you have souls, no afterlife."

"That she does. We've discussed it for years, and she's not changed her mind once. I believe you know how stubborn she can be sometimes. I like to believe that God does not view us as abominations made to spite him, but instead as his immortal children."

"That's why she doesn't want to change me. She wants me to live in an afterlife without her."

"Think if the roles were reversed, would you truly damn Edythe's soul? Not knowing for sure what happens after we die?"

"It's my choice. She can't control what I do with my soul."

"I never said it wasn't, but it's also hers. You know Edythe, she holds herself responsible for bringing you into this world."

"But she's not the only one who can change me."

"Yes, she is. She'd not forgive whoever dared change you without her permission."

"Wha, but-"

Carine spoke over him, her voice filled with conviction. "I do not have many regrets. My choice of diet, dedicating my immortal life to the practice of medicine. I am proud of the life my supernatural existence has allowed me to live. But bringing others into this life? It's a decision that I still struggle with. Was it really right? To force them into an existence they had no way of understanding until it was too late."

The glass pieces had finally all been taken out. Looking at the size of the pile made him nauseous, so he focused on Carine.

"You're kidding, they'd be dead without you. Do any of them really regret this life? Does Royal regret meeting Eleanor? Archie meeting Jessamine? You meeting Earnest?"

"It's not that simple. Do you know why Royal still has such a disdain for becoming a vampire?"

"I remember he was betrayed by his Fiance, that he got revenge."

"A marriage he had no interest in personally, as most marriages were back then. Besides that, he had a family, two little sisters with his mother and father. He had to watch them grief and eventually move on, replacing the hole that had formed in their life with a new son. Never able to say goodbye to the ones he cared for most as he outlived them all."

Now he felt like a jerk for being so harsh on Royal before. That sounded like it'd make anyone act the way he did. Especially to a human who seemed far too eager to join them in undeath, unaware of the pain that comes from their creation.

He'd thought about it plenty. His mother and Charlie would be heartbroken, his mother would move on. She had Phil and her work to support her. It was Charlie that worried him more. He was the type of person to blame himself for things, even when it was obviously out of his control. The death of his son would be no exception.

His father was also a police chief, tougher than he gave him credit for. It wouldn't be easy, but he'd come out the other side, and be stronger for it. It was what happened after their parents split. At first, he'd wondered if his father would ever recover. Now it was hard to picture him as anything resembling depressed.

Being with Edythe would not be without cost, he knew that. It was his decision and his mind was made up. Nothing on heaven or earth could change it now.

"I know, but I love her. I want to spend my life with her. Whatever the price is, I'll pay it."

He warily eyed a needle and thread Carine produced out of her bag. Beau fixated on a crack in the ceiling, his mind grasping at anything to distract from the sharp, stinging pain as Carine stitched his skin back together. His breath hitched with each pull of the needle, eyes squeezing shut to block out the discomfort.

Carine paused, her hands stilling for a moment. "Do you know who changed my mind about turning Edythe?" she said softly. "It was her father."

"Her father?" Beau asked, surprise evident in his voice. Despite the pain, curiosity sparked in his eyes. "What was he like?"

Carine's eyes softened, a wistful smile playing on her lips. "He was kind, intelligent, a truly good-hearted man. His eyes were a vibrant green, like polished emeralds—the same eyes he passed on to Edythe.

"Green?" He tried to picture it, creating a pleasant image in his mind. No matter what color her eyes were, they were beautiful.

"He had the same illness as her, but the fever never took him into delirium. He was always alert, even when he was on the brink of death. His life didn't matter, that's what he told me. Then he handed me his daughter, who was not far behind him. She looked so small, so fragile. Neither of them had been able to keep food down for weeks. They were more bone than flesh. 'Whatever it takes, you must save her, do what only you can.'"

"He knew you were a vampire?"

In Carine's eyes was a faraway look, as if her mind was hundreds of miles away. "I don't know, I still don't. He was unconscious afterwards and never woke up. I was still hesitant, but a promise was made. At first, I attempted to replicate how I was turned. A mistake, in hindsight, it made the process far more painful than it needed to be."

"Thank you, for saving her all those years ago." Beau's voice was sincere, a touch of reverence in his tone. "If you hadn't, I wouldn't have met her. It's the best birthday present I could ask for.

This statement earned him another laugh from the woman. She laughed just like Edythe, or did she laugh like her? Either way, it made him happy to know he could get along with her family.

"While I wasn't thinking that far ahead, I agree completely. I can't be sorry for bringing Edythe into this world, not truly. Getting to know her has been one of the greatest pleasures of my undead existence."

"Mine too, I mean the getting to know her, not the undead part."

Carine smiled warmly at him again. She must've found his awkwardness endearing. That made one of them. He still hated it.

"Would you like me to take you home now?"

"I can do it."

Beau jumped like a frightened cat at the familiar voice behind him, painfully pulling on the fresh stitches in his arm.

"How long were you standing there?"

She didn't answer, looking past him at Carine. Her face was expressionless, like chiseled marble. There was something he saw in her eyes that sent a pang of distress throughout his body.

"Carine, can take me."

"I'm taking you, but you need to change first. I'll have Archie get you something."

She disappeared out the kitchen door. He looked to Carine, his fists clenching as he let out a long breath to try soothing his nerves.

"She's really upset."

"Not at you, at herself. This is exactly what she's feared from the start, that our nature would put you directly in harm's way."

"I was never in any real danger. Edythe made sure of that."

"Really? You were never in any danger? Bleeding profusely in the main hall of a vampire coven? What if I weren't there? Or Eleanor and Royal hadn't come back from their trip early? There are many ways things could've gone much worse than they did."

Beau could find no response to these words. They were the truth. Once again, his clumsiness and blind luck worked in tandem. Somehow, evening out enough to keep him alive this long.

Archie appeared behind him with a black shirt and jeans. His worried expression was like a port in a storm. For once, he wanted to be fussed over. If it meant he never had to see that distant look in Edythe's eyes again.

He was about to protest before he looked down at himself. His right sleeve and leg were mostly shredded. It looked like he'd just walked off the set of a slasher flick. Charlie would die of shock if he showed up like this.

"Sorry about the suit, Archie."

"It's not your fault, Beau. I'm just glad you're okay."

He turned to leave him, but he stopped him. "Listen, Archie, if you see Jessamine, tell her I don't hold any of what happened against her. I hope we can hang out again sometime in the future."

Edythe gave a pointed look to Archie, and this time he glared right back at her. It killed him to not know what it was they could be discussing.

"She'll be happy to hear that, Beau. Thank you."

The drive home was tense. Beau's mind churned with countless reasons why she might be upset with him, none of which Carine's words had managed to soothe. He blamed himself for everything.

Guilt gnawed at him. If only he could've kept it together for just one night. One night. Jessamine wouldn't be blaming herself, and Edythe wouldn't be so distant. Everything would be fine. There was nothing he could really do. It was part of who he was, his parents had long accepted that injuring himself was normal. Charlie wouldn't even question the fact that he came home with a fresh bandage on his arm.

It made him wonder if they'd really allow him to come back to just watch a couple of old 80s movies. Sounded stupid now, but he had really been looking forward to it.

The most prescient issue on his mind was that his clumsiness had simply gotten out of control. She was right. It was like he was a lightning rod for trouble.

I'm sorry for ruining everything tonight," Beau said, his voice barely above a whisper, each word laced with regret.

"Sorry!? You're sorry? For what, tripping? Barely cutting yourself on the edge of a table?"

"Well, that and getting blood all over your nice rug."

She didn't laugh at his attempt at humor, didn't smile. "You could've died Beau."

"You protected me, Edythe. I felt safe because of you," he insisted, searching her eyes for any flicker of reassurance.

"Barely. We got lucky, that's all. What's the worst that could happen if you got a cut like that at Mckayla Newtons? They're all out of the big bandaids?"

"Hey, If I wanted to be at Mckayla Newtons I would be." Beau's tone took a sharp edge at the mention of the girl. He wasn't in love with Mckayla Newton, never had been.

"Well, maybe you should think about the kind of girl you should be with—someone who doesn't put your life in danger every day."

"And who decides who I should be with? You?"

"If you can't make reasonable decisions for yourself, someone has to."

"Love isn't reasonable, and I love you, Edythe. Maybe that's not logical, but it's how I feel. I can't change that."

They continued the rest of the way in silence. He hated it. He longed for her to smile, to frown, to show any emotion other than the chilling detachment in her eyes. Anything was better than the cold void that now seemed to separate them. Like she wanted to be anywhere else in the world but here.

The silence weighed heavily on him, more painful than the throbbing in his arm. Edythe's distant gaze felt like a physical blow.

"We're here."

"You're not coming in?" His own voice surprised him with its steadiness. He was certain she could hear the constant thumping of his heart.

"No, I'm sorry Beau. I need some time to cool off."

"You know how it's my birthday?"

"The day you desperately wanted us to forget, then not celebrate? What about it?"

"I'm ready for my gift now." He leaned in to her, placing his hand atop hers. If the dream was truly ending. He wanted, no, he needed, something to remember her by.

A pleasant memory he could hold on to, before everything he ever dreamed of slipped from his fingers.

For a moment, it seemed like things would return to normal. Edythe gave him a playful smile and let out a melodic giggle from her enchanting lips.

"Getting a little greedy, aren't we?"

It wasn't him who took the initiative this time. Edythe seemed to pounce on him from inside the vehicle. Her fingers in his hair as they devoured each other, kissing like they were starved for affection their whole lives.

After a couple of seconds, she gently but firmly pushed herself away as they stared into each other's eyes.

"Wow."

"Wow."

He wasn't sure which one of them had whispered it first. They were both breathless, her cool limbs entwined with his, forming a cocoon of fleeting warmth that he wished could last forever.

In the car's mirror he could see Edythe's expression. It wasn't cold, instead she looked incredibly pained.

Not in the way he expected. Her pupils hadn't dilated an inch and her breathing was steady. It wasn't her desire for blood that was the problem, not this time. So what was the problem then?

"You really won't come up?"

"I'm sorry Beau, I just can't, not tonight."

"One more kiss for good luck, then?"

"Don't push your luck, mister. I think you're highly overestimating my self control."

"You're talking about your bloodlust, right?" Beau put extra emphasis on the blood part as he gave her a cheeky grin.

Still, her face held no emotion, without the slightest sign that she'd even heard him.

He was wondering if this was the type of mood he could pull her out of. Even if it wasn't his fault, technically, according to her, he had to fix things. This was already growing unbearable for him.

"Something like that. I'll see you at school."

And just like that, she was gone. He couldn't take his eyes off the spot where she had been standing. After a few more moments, he went inside.

Charlie asked him what happened to his suit. He lied and said it was a rental and they'd returned it.

Though he felt guilty, he was a little impressed at how well he'd lied. It came out as almost a reflex.

When he'd met Edythe it was an impossibility, it still was in her case. Her radiant beauty seemed to fry the higher parts of his brain capable of such thinking. That and the parts responsible for saying no.

Perhaps that was why he'd so easily adopted the Cullen's habit of telling 'white lies' not entirely untrue, but with much left unsaid.

Beau collapsed onto his bed with a sigh, pushing the pile of presents neatly stacked on his bed to the floor.

He didn't sleep a wink, though it wasn't the pain in his arm that kept him awake through the long night.

Beau pulled into the parking lot with head hung low. His plan was to stay away from his usual parking spot to avoid any and all comments about his new car.

He could lie and say he'd bought it with money he had saved up. Nobody would believe it. Even if it was a couple decades old, it was still a sports car. Hardly something his occasional shifts at the video store could pay for.

He parked at the far end of the parking lot, and prayed that nobody saw him get out.

An involuntary sigh of relief escaped from his lips when he saw her. Part of him was worried about whether she'd be here. Even if she did promise, he was still wary of her apparent nonchalance.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"How's your arm?"

"It's fine, a little sore, but it's not that bad, really."

It was a little more than sore, but there's no way he'd tell her that.

That was it for their normal morning conversation. She left for the school, not waiting to see if he'd follow. Inevitably, of course, he did, barely catching up to her in time.

The rest of the day was spent in silent contemplation. All his attempts at small talk between their classes were rebuffed or given quick, one-word answers.

He had to ask himself the question. Could he really hope to cheer her up from this? It wasn't the first time he'd asked it. It was, however, the first time he'd seriously considered it.

Was this her way of making a responsible decision? He shouldn't have brushed off the comment so easily last night. Now it was coming back to haunt him.

Would she really do that? Leave him for his supposed benefit? Had she already decided this relationship had to end?

He didn't care what was best for him; he was tired of hearing it. First from Renee, not wanting him to be forced to travel constantly and switch schools. It was best he spend some time with his father while he wraps up school. Even if it was his decision ultimately he didn't do it for himself, that was never what it was about.

Then Charlie, honestly the most benign. At least he'd come around to Edythe, finally. His father saw the same thing that he did. Edythe was miles out of his league. The fact she seemed to care for him was unbelievable at first.

It'd be better if he stuck to girls he knew. It'd be best for him if he went for a girl like Julie. One who was more familiar, safe.

Maybe he was right. Reality always kicks in eventually. Or, maybe he was too quick to worry. It had only been a day.

Worrying had never helped him before. Today was no exception. But without her to distract him, it was all he could do.

They didn't talk during any of their shared classes. The coach was gracious enough to let him sit out PE when he showed her the fresh stitches in his arm.

Today would be her day to mope. He'd let her have it if that was what she wanted.

It came with a creeping sense of dread. He thought about their kiss from last night, the one that had stolen his breath away and lingered in his thoughts all day.

The last time they'd really kissed with that much passion, it wasn't like when Archie interrupted them. in the garage. The way they kissed now reminded him of when Joss had been closing in on them.

It was her way of saying goodbye when she was too afraid to say it directly. A kiss to remember him by, should the worst happen.

The paranoid voice in the back of his mind was sounding more reasonable as the day went on. That scared him.

He made her happy? That's what she said, right? So if she was unhappy, it'd make sense to wanna spend more time with him, not avoid him entirely.

Unless she was preparing him for the end.

He had to be sure this suspense was killing him. If she asked to come visit him after school, as she always did, knowing it would be the same answer.

If she did that, then things were fine. All she needed was some space and once she had it, they could return things to normal.

If not, then, well, he'd decide what to do from there.

Their last class seemed to stretch out for an eternity. If you put a gun to his head, he couldn't tell you a single thing from the lesson. His eyes never left the clock.

More silence between them as he walked her to her car, giving her an exaggerated bow as he opened the door.

"Your chariot, my fair lady."

As soon as he said it, he wanted to take the words and use them as a club to beat himself.

She looked at him with a look of confusion that mirrored his own internal turmoil. Maybe she too wondered why his voice sounded so unsteady when he was trying to make a joke.

It was because he was scared. Terrified by the distance steadily growing between them. Petrified by his inability to do anything to stop it.

When she moved to shut the door, he stopped her with his hand.

"Will I see you later?"

"If you want to, I suppose."

"Only if you want to."

With that, she shut the door. Leaving him to stand there, his whole body rigid.

The silver Volvo roared to life and tore out of the now mostly empty parking lot, snapping him out of his daze.

His heart was hammering in his chest, and his breath was shallow.

When he started up his car, he couldn't get the key in the ignition. It really was pathetic. His hands were shaking too much to put the key in the ignition, dropping it several times in his attempts.

If this was how he acted after a day of slight rudeness, how would he handle what came after?

After a few more failed attempts, he gave up. First trying to control his breathing, then when that didn't work, something in him snapped.

"Useless piece of shit!"

A childish temper tantrum. That's what his anger amounted to. His fists pounding on the steering wheel, then the dash, then everywhere else his long arms could reach.

In his blind flailing, his elbow caught itself on the window, hard enough to create a small spiderweb web of cracks in the glass.

The car didn't deserve it. He wasn't angry at the car, or Edythe, or even Archie for being absent today when he really needed him to be here.

At least now his hands weren't shaking, that much, and nobody had seen his freakout. Perhaps it was a good thing Edythe wasn't here to see this.

In his whole life, he hadn't ever really cared about much. Sure his family, but that was a given. A few friends here or there, but he'd not thought about them much since leaving Phoenix. Definitely no girlfriends. He'd been too tall and weird for that.

Since he'd been with Edythe, it's like someone turned the dial for all his emotions up to 11. The highs were so incredible it was like he'd been underwater his whole life and finally allowed a breath of fresh air.

There were also the lows. This had to be the lowest they'd gone yet. Now he was back underwater, drowning, and the person who'd given him the chance to breathe was heading back to shore.

When he got home, he prepared dinner for Charlie and left it in the fridge. With that done, he went to his bed and grabbed his new music player.

He didn't care what the music was, he just wanted it to be loud. Loud enough to drown out his thoughts about what tomorrow might hold.

The sky hung heavy with murky gray clouds, mirroring the weight of Beau's heart.

When he arrived at school again, he pulled into the same parking spot as before. It was in vain, however, as someone had spotted him in his new car.

"Is that a real Delorean!? Beau! When were you gonna tell me you got this beautiful machine?"

"I think so. Sorry Jeremy, I didn't think you were a big car guy."

"I'm not, but come on, this is awesome. Did you get it on sale? Do they even make those windows anymore?"

Oh right, the results of his tantrum yesterday. It was a good thing his friend didn't look at him as his cheeks flushed red at mention of the damage.

"Yeah, they knocked down the price since it was used."

"Must not have been used very much. I think Taylor's new car has more mileage than this thing, and she only got it a few months ago."

"I got a good deal on it, I guess."

"You gotta take me for a ride on this thing. Does it go all the way to 88?"

"Maybe later…"

His eyes panned across the parking lot and spotted Edythe leaning against her Volvo. Thank god, she was still waiting for him.

Jeremy said something to him as he left, but he wasn't listening.

He watched her back and scanned the surroundings. If Edythe was here, Archie shouldn't be far behind. Maybe he could give her some insight into how she was feeling, and more importantly.

How he could fix it. Even if he didn't have any advice to give, a peek at the future would be more than helpful.

He probably was here, somewhere. Waiting for him to talk to Edythe so he can scare him again, the asshole.

Warily, he approached the girl.

"Hey."

"Hey, how's your arm?"

"Fine."

That was it. Once again, she left for the school without so much as looking in his direction.

Archie was never late, except when he had been talking to him. As time grew closer to the bell, he realized he wasn't coming.

If he wasn't with Edythe he wasn't here, he should've realized that sooner.

After giving up, he made a mad dash for his classroom. Edythe hadn't bothered to wait for him, already in class. Not so much as glancing up at him as he entered.

Her eyes stared straight ahead, as if he wasn't even there.

It didn't make him sad, like he'd expected. It scared him more than when Joss had been about to kill him. Which sounded stupid, but it was true.

His hands were shaking again when class began. It was the best he could do to avoid his whole body shaking like a leaf.

It shouldn't affect him this much. This was what he'd been preparing himself for, right? His time was up, his days in the sun were over.

The novelty had worn off, leaving him to pine over a girl who hadn't so much as looked at him once today.

"Beau? Are you okay? You look really pale."

"I'm fine!"

It was Mckayla. She tried pressing her palm to his forehead, but he slapped it away.

The words came out louder than he'd intended. All eyes in the class were on him. His biology teacher looked mystified. It might've been the first time the man had actually heard him speak.

"I'm fine, really. It's just allergies."

Class restarted without incident, he realized if he looked at the teacher's monitor screen; it reflected his table.

Edythe was finally looking at him today, though now he wished she hadn't.

Her eyes were beautiful, as always, like two golden suns that lit up his world.

He could never be certain. He was no mind reader, after all. But after all the time they'd spend together, he felt confident in his ability to read her expression.

It wasn't a look of adoration, of love, nor was it guilt, or self loathing. None of her usual expressions.

She looked at him the same way she did when she filled out the crosswords and an unfamiliar word was in it she didn't recognize.

Like she was trying to find the best solution to a problem, but just didn't know how.

The problem was him.

Maybe she was thinking of the best way to break things off without breaking him as well.

Or now that she was finally done with him, she was strategizing how to best get him alone. So she could finally get a hit off the heroine pumping through his veins.

No, that wasn't fair to her. She was a good person; he knew Edythe. She was still guilty for the lives she'd taken decades ago. There was no way she'd ever hurt him.

Even if she…didn't care about him, he trusted her completely. If that was true, she wouldn't have attacked her own sister just to save his sorry self.

The choices were to either wait for her to dump him, or to do it first before she got the chance. The third option he really wished was available was to cheer Edythe up so she doesn't leave.

But that's just it. Still, even after months together, he didn't know what she wanted from him. How could he cheer up someone who didn't want it?

It wasn't the first time she'd been in a sour mood, though nothing like this.

When it happens, he just acts the same way he always does, that seemed to do it naturally. Make a corny joke, kiss her, hug her, give her all the affection she could want and more.

Now it was like that first week, only worse. When their hands touched, she pulled away, always keeping a careful distance. Not avoiding him directly, but too far away for their usual intimacy.

If that wasn't a flashing bright red warning sign, then nothing was.

Maybe he really should be the one to break things off, get ahead of it so he's not the one left in the dust.

Would that really make him feel better?

No, but it felt better than waiting for the other shoe to drop. His hopes of fixing things had died before lunch had even started. The paranoid voice whispering in the back of his head was vindicated.

If he was right, then the longer this went on, it'd only make it more painful. For both of them.

He longed to be the one who could bring her happiness, rescue her from the darkness that threatened to consume her.

It didn't matter what he did. If he was the problem, then there was only one solution. He'd step out of the way.

As long as it made her happy. Maybe she'd find a proper partner, a vampire like her with supernatural beauty who could hold her interest while they spend eternity together.

While he grew old and died, sitting on the sidelines.

He'd not be able to move on. His heart was hers. He could stop loving her just as much as he can stop what comes next.

When Lunch began, he spent the time strategizing. Edythe didn't mind him mostly ignoring her.

He was certain that she was looking at him in the same way as before, trying to work out the best solution to the 'Beau problem.'

It was curious that she'd still sit with him. It's not like she actually needed lunch. Out of habit, probably.

He wasn't hungry, so he didn't eat. The time that wasn't spent imagining a hundred different worst-case scenarios was instead spent watching Edythe from the corner of his eye.

It was only until halfway through lunch that his thoughts returned to the missing member at the table. Archie skipping wasn't unusual; it was unusual for his friend to not mention it to him. He'd always done it before. What had changed?

A cold numbness hit him as it confirmed his already worsening suspicions.

His old table had been discussing recent events in the town, to be more specific. The disappearance of its most prolific doctor. She'd resigned suddenly, leaving them scrambling to find a replacement. It wasn't like them to draw attention to themselves on purpose.

Unless the Cullen's were leaving, that is. Then it'd make sense for them to drop everything and turn for the hills. They'd wonder what happened until the next thing came along, and the whole mysterious family would fade from the small town's conscience.

He knew exactly what had changed.

"Where's Archie gone?"

"With Jessamine."

"Is she doing okay? Are they still in Forks?"

"No."

"I heard some people talking about how Carine quit her job at the hospital suddenly. The whole town is flabbergasted. Know anything about that?"

"Guess she was tired of working there."

That wasn't it. He knew little about Carine, but her love of medicine was obvious. The only way she'd quit her job in Forks was if she was going somewhere else to do it.

"Archie's not coming back, is he?"

She arched her brow and for the first time today, Edythe looked into his eyes directly.

She seemed to search for something in his expression. He tried to emulate the look she'd had all day. Aloof, indifferent. It was what he needed to be right now.

The silence answered his question. He took a deep breath. He'd spent all day rehearsing in his mind and it still took effort to force the words out.

"We need to talk."

Again, she seemed genuinely surprised. Even if she was a centuries old vampire, she'd still seen movies. Enough to know that your partner never 'needed to talk' about anything good.

"When?"

For some reason he couldn't explain, he felt bold, adventurous even.

He had nothing to lose now, nothing he cared about anyway.

It was liberating, in a way. To know that the end was coming, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

All he could do now was face it. At least they'd go out on his terms. That was what men did, right? Took charge of situations, be they good or bad?

"I'm skipping. You can follow me if you want."

Beau got up and started heading for the exit, delicate snow white fingertips gently wrapped over his arm, holding him in place. "You don't skip."

"I didn't before. Things change, I guess."

If she really wanted to stop him, she could. The hardest part wasn't leaving the school. That was shockingly easy. It was avoiding to look back entirely.

It was all for her, if breaking his heart made her happy. He'd be the one to do it for her, gladly.

When he got outside, he saw his car had already started, idling in front of the school with Edythe inside.

He'd not even seen her take the key off him.

It was showtime. He took a deep breath that did nothing to calm his racing heart and jumped in.

Neither of them spoke on the drive over. He played the words he planned to say over and over again. Each time he replayed the scenario in his head, a small part of him died.

He didn't realize the car had stopped until Edythe spoke.

"Let's go for a walk, in the woods."

It was hardly a walk. All they did was walk out to a stump in view of his house.

There was a long and tense silence between them.

When had things gone so wrong? Being with Edythe was the most comfortable he'd ever felt in his life. Whenever she was around, it relaxed him, calmed him in ways he couldn't explain.

Now it was like this.

"So, let's talk."

He couldn't do it. The words were there, playing in his mind on loop since he'd thought of them.

His mouth wouldn't say them, his lips quivering ever so slightly as he tried to suppress the storm of emotions washing over him.

It was so stupid of him to rush this. His birthday was two days ago. Of course, he wasn't ready.

He wasn't stupid. The signs were all there, Carine quitting suddenly, Archie not showing up at school. Edythe's icy demeanor that could only be intended to wound him.

Even knowing what was coming couldn't force his mouth to work. He'd brought them to this point. If he hadn't been so hasty, he could've had a couple more days of this awful state their relationship was in now. It would've at least left him a little more prepared.

Edythe broke the silence, possibly because she could sense his hesitation.

"We're leaving."

This was something he expected and had an actual response for.

"You're less than a year from graduating. A year hardly makes that much of a d-"

He was cut off before he could finish with a finger pressed to his lips. "It's a stretch for Carine to pass as 30, let alone 33. Royal and Eleanor are already graduated, and Archie and I are close enough. It's time for our family to leave, to begin again."

"You know I'll leave with you. It'll be tough not seeing Charlie. But it'd be better than not seeing you."

Desperately, Beau wanted to believe that she'd say yes. That her sour mood since his birthday was out of guilt for her desire to take him from his family.

A part of him knew that was impossible. She was trying to make it easier for him, as if acting like a jerk for a couple of days would be enough to erase his feelings for her.

Did she really think he was that cold, that cruel, or just that stupid?

How long would she have dragged this out had he not acted so rashly?

There was no response from her. He could've been standing in front of a statue for all the expression on her picturesque features. The silence was growing painful, and eventually she was the one to break it.

"I'm sorry, Beau. Where we're going is no place for you."

"The place for me is wherever you are. That's all I've ever said, from the beginning."

It was strange, the calm voice speaking to Edythe did not feel like his own. It was his lips that moved, his air that gave the words their sound. Yet his brain could only helplessly watch the unfolding tragedy.

"I'm not right for you, Beau."

"Who decides that?"

"Beau, do you remember what I said to you in Phoenix?"

"That'd you'd stay with me, always-"

"As long as it's best for you. Jessamine was just another reminder of what we both already know. My world isn't right for you."

"Make me like you then! Then it's not a problem anymore. I don't care what it does to my soul, even if I go to hell. Heaven would be just as bad without you."

It may have been his imagination, but for a moment he saw Edythe's composure break. Her eyes filled with the same pain he numbly felt spreading throughout his body.

It didn't last.

He tried to speak again, but his throat was dry, the calmness that he'd had before evaporated. It felt like he was on the edge of a cliff, where only the slightest breeze would send him tumbling off the side.

"After my carelessness, almost got you killed again. I had to step back and look at things. One thing you may not know about my kind is that we are forever stuck in the age of our turning. While this affects our appearance, it also affects our personalities. The Spanish flu robbed me of my childhood. I'd no idea the power of teenage infatuation. It was like a drug, one I recklessly indulged in, with no thought to the consequences."

"But Beau… you must've known that this could never work between us. We're too different. I'm not a human. I don't remember what it was like to be one, not really."

To punctuate her point, she disappeared out of his view and reappeared behind him, then repeating the action. Running the length of a football faster than he could blink.

"I'm tired, tired of pretending to be what I'm not. Tired of walking on eggshells. Always careful, fighting the very nature of what I am, around fragile things made of glass."

On the last word, she stuck her hand straight through the tree trunk beside her, sending a shower of splinters raining down on them.

It was like a nightmare. His body couldn't move, mouth couldn't make a sound.

"I said many irresponsible things over the past few months. I'm sorry for involving you in my selfish escapades. You are a good person Beau, I mean that sincerely. You deserve better than this. To be with a human who is truly capable of loving you. I'm horrified that my reckless actions have caused you so much unnecessary pain."

"What we had was not love. I'm sorry that it took me so long to understand this. I don't know if our kind is capable of the same love you humans experience. To me, you were not an equal partner, more akin to a possession that I treasured. I enjoyed caring for you, spoiling like you like I would a pet. If you became a vampire, you would become just another one of us, and you'd lose all interest to me. "

"So I was right. It makes sense, I get it."

Beau knew he had to leave now. This calm would not last. Soon, it would hit him, break him down completely. He was acting on borrowed time now. The twitches of a corpse that hadn't realized it was dead.

"Don't worry Beau, I'm sure you'll find that time heals all wounds for your kind. Soon I will be only a distant, if unpleasant, memory."

"And you?"

"Don't worry, Beau. I won't forget the lesson I learned from our time together. My kind is easy to distract, however."

"I see."

There was silence again. It dragged out for an eternity, or longer. He couldn't tell anymore.

Perhaps Edythe and he were not as different as he'd first thought. There was a monster within him, too. Not a real one, and to call it an actual monster felt an insult to the real ones he'd met.

Still, it was there. It fed on his growing anguish, whispered the words he'd been telling himself for months incessantly in his ear. Begging him to take action, scream, cry, just do anything. Anything to alleviate the crushing weight in his chest, pulling him down further by the second.

It hated Edythe, hated all his stupid classmates and idiotic parents. Hated the Cullen's and their lying perfect faces. Archie especially, his supposed 'best friend.' Leaving without so much as a goodbye.

Their plans for movie night left with all their other broken promises.

An overwhelmingly bitter taste entered his mouth as he swallowed it down.

Of course, there was the person it hated the most, the one who it really hated.

He hated that idiot too, who gave his heart to someone who never wanted it to begin with. To only act shocked when the only possible conclusion finally came to pass.

It wasn't him. He didn't like that part of himself, he never did. But it was all that was left to keep him moving forward. Out of the abyss that threatened to swallow him whole in its yawning depths. The rest of him was done, ready to sit on the tree stump and never get up again.

"Beau. Before you leave, I want you to promise me something."

"What?"

His eyes stayed forward, gazing listlessly at the house as he spoke. He knew it was impossible to stop loving her, so he buried it.

Buried it so deep it'd never resurface. That was the only way for him to make it through this. He had to keep moving forward, never stop, and most importantly.

Never look back.

"I know we've been talking about Romeo and Juliet in class a lot lately. Don't get any stupid ideas about doing something dramatic. Think of your parents, they need you."

"You think I'd really kill myself? For you? Get over yourself."

That wasn't fair. He regretted the words as soon as he said them. It took him less than a minute to break his promise to himself.

"I'm sorry Edythe, I didn't mean that, I was just-"

Her expression was unchanged, his attempts to wound her were like the flails of a drowning man. ineffective, only showing how small and petty he really was.

"I'll promise something too. I'll not do anything like this ever again. Nobody else will have to suffer as you have."

"That's good, I guess."

Now that he was looking at her again, the monster had gone quiet. It was impossible to hate that face, even with the total lack of emotion on it. It was the face of the girl he loved, after all.

He just wanted her to get away. She already had his heart. What more did she want? What more was there to give?

The fake monster wanted to hurt her, to make her feel a fraction of what he felt in this moment.

He didn't want that. Beau was still in love with the girl, even if it wasn't mutual. All he wanted from the start was for her to be happy. If leaving him was what it took, he'd do it himself.

That was why he'd forced this conversation early, right? It was for her, all of this was for her.

Better this than another day languishing, watching her stony expressions and waiting for her to talk to him. One day of that was all it took to break him.

Before he turned around again, he took one last good look at Edythe. Burning every inch of her image into the back of his head. From her reddish brown curls to her honey-colored eyes. To her slender legs, to her dirt smeared leather jacket.

"Take care of yourself, Beau."

When she finally turned from him, the dam broke.

He had to chase after her. It was who he was, always running towards something he'll never reach. He'd had the impossible, held it in his hands and touched its lips with his own.

Now it was all slipping away.

"Wait Edythe, no. Please don't go, I love you! Don't leave!"

He charged through the woods with reckless abandon, running until his limbs felt heavy and he tripped over an exposed tree root. His body rolled down the hill, the thick foliage scraping his exposed skin and ruining his clothes.

A futile gesture. Once she had left, she was gone, moving faster than he could ever dream.

He'd thought he was ready for this. Ready to surrender his happiness so Edythe could move on from him.

He wasn't ready, probably never would be.

Beau didn't feel like getting up, so he didn't, instead watching the stars from the forest floor.

Beams of light broke through the cracks in the trees, forcing Beau to wake up and get a good look at his surroundings.

He hadn't realized how long he'd run in pursuit of Edythe, but he'd gone farther than he'd ever ventured into the forest.

It didn't matter. Charlie was probably worried, but he'd live. He still didn't even wanna go home. Look at the presents he had no interest in ever opening. Sit in his bed and do what? Feel sorry for himself?

There's no point. He'd lay here for a few hours and call Charlie later and explain that he was fine.

Someone called out his name nearby. Whoever it was, they could wait. He wasn't in any immediate danger, all he wanted now was to be alone.

There was something else in the forest with him. He could hear the cracking of branches and the tussling of leaves.

A russet colored wolf, bigger than any he'd ever seen before. Its eyes were the strangest part. They didn't look like the eyes of any animal. One was green, and the other blue, and they had intelligence behind them. A certain light in them he'd not seen in any other animal before.

It didn't seem hostile, just looking at him. Then it disappeared into the brush.

A few moments later, a girl emerged from the other side of the forest.

Beau didn't look at her, didn't so much as lift his head when she leaned over him. Considering his complete unfamiliarity with the area, it seemed likely that he had unintentionally encroached upon someone else's land.

"I'm not getting up. If you really want me to leave that badly, you're gonna have to carry me."

"Suit yourself."

The girl was shorter than him, with a cutoff tank top that exposed her wiry arms with impressive strength. She tossed him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, despite their difference in height she had no trouble carrying him with a single arm.

"Hey! I wasn't being serious. Let me down."

"It's not far. Don't get your panties in a twist."

In his mad dash after Edythe, he must've made it all the way to the reservation; their surrounding became more familiar as they got closer to La Push.

"Who even are you, anyway?"

"Samantha Uley and you must be Beau."

"How do you know my name?"

"Julie mentions you. I assume you're going to ask why I went looking for you. Charlie's been looking. You really shouldn't make your father worry like that."

"Yeah, I guess."

Her strength wasn't what surprised him the most about the girl. It was her eyes, now that she was carrying him and he was futility struggling to break free. He'd finally gotten a good look at them.

One was green, the other blue, just like the wolf he'd seen earlier.

A crazy coincidence? Maybe, but it reminded him of the feeling he'd had before discovering Edythe's true nature.

There was something that didn't add up, couldn't be explained rationally. With the only conclusions he could come up with, making even less sense.

He started thinking about Julie, more specifically, he thought about their last meeting. It'd been too long, that was certain, but their conversation seemed more important now than ever.

She'd not just told him about the cold ones, who he now knew to be the Cullens. She'd talked about her own tribe, too. There was one thing she said that stood out to him now.

'Another legend claims that we descended from wolves―and that the wolves are our sisters still.'

That wasn't a coincidence. In fact, they weren't even being that subtle about it. It was like when Edythe had tried to psyche him out about her incredible feats of strength. He didn't consider himself smart, that didn't mean he was an idiot.

He steps onto tribal land, and a massive wolf finds him. Instead of ripping him to pieces, it simply leaves. Moments later, Samantha shows up, with the same colored eyes and earthy forest smell. It could be that the girl never wore deodorant and spent all her time in the woods, that didn't explain why their eyes had matched.

The Cullens weren't the only that'd been lying to him, and the rest of the world, for that matter. He wondered if Julie knew. Or she'd just thought they were stories, myths, legends of old like the lochness monster.

It's what he would've thought before he met Edythe. Now he knew that the world was a lot bigger than he imagined.

There were all kinds of things hiding in the dark. It wasn't his business but he was sick of all the lies, they were just as trustworthy as the Cullens. He'd not involve himself with anyone he couldn't trust. As far as he was concerned there was only one person in that whole tribe he did trust.

They broke through the trees and arrived at the main grounds of the reservation. Now that there were people watching him, he again tried to break free, but Samantha's grip was iron.

"Beau? Is that you? Are you alright, did you get hurt?"

"Fine, I'd be better if I wasn't being hauled around like a carcass."

In response to his words, the girl dropped him, not set him down on the ground, just dropped him.

A man he'd not seen before in a lab coat was the one to lift him up. It was Dr Gerandy. He'd not seen him in so many years, he'd nearly forgotten him entirely.

"Hey there Beau, feeling alright? You're not hurt, are you?"

"I already said I was fine."

Neither of them looked convinced. He didn't care.

"Do you mind if I look at you, anyway? Just to be on the safe side."

"I said no, I'm leaving. As you can see, Charlie, I'm alive, I'm going home."

Charlie was the only one following behind him. He knew it had to happen, eventually. The both necessary and justified scolding for him disappearing into the woods without so much a word. Didn't mean he had to like it.

"What happened in the woods, Beau, with Edythe?"

It was then that he realized he'd been granted a blessing. Since he'd woken up and been forcefully carried to the reservation, his mind had been distracted.

The memories of yesterday hit him like physical blows. His body shrank into itself, as if by making itself smaller, it could hide from the pain.

"Nothing."

"You see, that's just the thing. I saw your note, but when you didn't come home, I tried to call Carine. The hospital told me she'd left the hospital with only a day's notice. Then I called the Cullen's house but nobody picked up."

"They're gone."

"Edythe too?"

The look he gave Charlie answered his question for him.

"I'm so sorry Beau. I didn't think…"

"Neither did I."

Hoping that the conversation was over, he continued his walk down the path. He felt fairly confident he could make his way back, his trip had taken him in a straight line, retracing his steps shouldn't be too hard.

"At least let me give you a ride home. I'm not mad at you for spending the night in the woods. Lord knows I did much worse when I was your age."

He wanted to say no, but his body was screaming with exhaustion. None of it made sense. All he'd done was sleep and lie around since yesterday.

It was near certain he'd collapse if he tried to walk home. There was no avoiding it now. Hopefully, his father wouldn't try to pry further into what happened.

He could tell him, describe the entire scene himself in vivid detail. Do it in a one man play style if he preferred it.

It wouldn't leave him. If he closed his eyes, he was back in the forest. With Edythe, giving him that same far-off look.

His new mission was to distract himself as much as possible. As long as he wasn't thinking about it, he'd be fine.

Right?

"The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference."