Elizabeth Bennet
Longbourn, Hertfordshire
The family was gathered for breakfast, the scent of food waking a deep hunger in Elizabeth's belly. Still, it could do nothing to soothe the tumultuous feelings that came along with the hunger, for Mr. Collins was sat next to Jane, giving the young woman long looks.
It was her fault, Lizzy thought as she sat there, watching her sister's future fall open in front of them. She had turned down Mr. Collins, and thus he had shifted his attentions to Jane, beautiful Jane, ethereal Jane, who should be waiting on a proposal from Mr. Bingley, not fending off the advances of an awkward and insufferable cousin. Jane, to her credit, made no noise of protest and indeed did not act as if she were in any way put out by Mr. Collins' attentions, instead smiling for him.
Elizabeth's stomach churned, and the food on her plate no longer seemed so appetizing.
"Cousin? Is there something quite the matter?" Mr. Collins looked at her with an unkind smile twisting the corners of his mouth. He glanced again at Jane and then back to Lizzy. She stared at him for a moment to discern his meaning and then swallowed hard. Surely he could not be so cruel as to- he spoke, assuring her of his cruelty. "It has come to pass that I believe you were right to turn away my offer of marriage," he said, voice carrying down the long breakfasting table. Out of the corner of her eye, Lizzy thought she saw her father sit up from his normal half-slumped morning state.
"I beg your pardon?" she asked, reaching for a bread roll she had no intention to eat. She just needed something in her hands, for she was fearful she might attach them around Mr. Collins' neck if she did not have something else in them.
"I have given it great thought," he said, and Lizzy heard her father give a low, soft snort of derision. The noise passed over Mr. Collins though, and he continued his line of speech. "Fair cousin Miss Bennet, I think, would make an excellent addition to the parsonage at Rosings. I do believe her temperament is much better suited to the estate, in all manners. So please, do not chide yourself for your maidenly shyness at having refused my offer. It has come to light to me, through the guidance of our Lord and deep contemplation, that you would not make the ultimate companion for my entire life, nor would you make me so pleased as to call myself your husband." His words struck her like small, tiny arrows, and even though she would have been hard pressed to ever think to accept him, the insults to her person made her sit up and stare at him in surprise. Thankfully, perhaps, her father had indulged in a fit of coughing throughout most of Mr. Collins conversation, because she rather thought that the older man would have called out his nephew for such slights to his favorite daughter.
His words had not been missed by Jane, however, and she as well stared at Mr. Collins, a flush of color across her cheeks, from shame at her cousin's behavior, or in anger at it, Lizzy could not say.
A tumultuous feeling spun in her belly, and had she not been seated so far that she could not reach, she would have been tempted to slap Mr. Collins clear across his pompous, jowled face. She felt as if she could not breathe, and her hands clutched white-pale around the bun she had grabbed just moments before.
"Mr. Collins," Jane started, but Elizabeth made a low noise in the back of her throat, hushing her sister. Mr. Collins looked increasingly pleased with himself at Elizabeth's silence, and while his joy at his cruelty burned her, she did not speak up against him. She would not give him the satisfaction of knowing how deeply he was cutting her.
"I am pleased that you have come to this realization, Mr. Collins," she said, and he raised both eyebrows in what she presumed was surprise. Had he expected her to lash out at him? To tell him in plain words that he was being deliberately unkind? Then more the fool was he. She would do no such thing. He felt his pride had been wounded by her refusal, well, his very proposal had been an offense to hers.
She spread a curl of butter onto the bun that she had nearly mangled and slowly ate it with careful, deliberate bites.
"It will be my pleasure, as your brother, to find for you a more suitable match," Mr. Collins continued, needling at her, as if because he could not get beneath her skin with his earlier words he would choose other, less practiced barbs.
"I would be honored to be given such consideration by you," Elizabeth said simply, even though she hardly doubted that she would find any match through him that wasn't terrible - he would pick the least likable of men, and tell them that she was intractable and prone to fits… that they would have to 'break' her into the seemly picture of a wife. No, she would marry no one he brought forward, even if it meant she needed to find employment as a Governess. Mr. Collins had proved himself that while he shared the Bennet bloodline, he did not share the esteem or care in which they looked out for one another. Even her mother, as addlepated as she was, would never be deliberately and so exactingly cruel as Mr. Collins had been.
She finished her meal in silence, ignoring Jane's frequent and worried looks. Instead she stared straight ahead, and so ignored Mr. Collins that Lydia had to make conversation with him. Well, Lizzy thought, it was good practice for the younger girl, since she would be out in society soon enough, and learning to converse with the most boorish of men would serve Lydia well.
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