18 / Homecoming

Tanalorr

The Rogue Mercenary touched down in its usual spot at Haven's Edge, only the scenery around it couldn't have been more unrecognisable. The three Jedi didn't say a word as they shuffled listlessly off the ship, all of them stopping as their feet touched the rocky ground, staring at the trail of destruction Vader had left in his wake. The path up to the gate was littered with shattered rock and thick with a smoky haze even still. They secured their gas masks to their faces so as not to breathe in the smoke and Cal took the lead without a word, Kata and Teelo following, a deep melancholy falling over them all as they approached the ridge.

Nothing could have prepared them for the sight of what the Empire had done to Haven. They had all known more or less what to expect, but knowing and seeing were two different things. The same horrified looks settled on their faces as they saw what remained of their home. They had seen it from the air as they'd landed, of course, but somehow seeing it from here, from the place they had stood when coming home so many times over the years, made it all the more confronting. Kata had spent the last hour they'd been waiting on the Shattered Moon trying to mentally prepare herself for this moment, but there was no amount of meditation that would ever make seeing this easier.

Haven was a smoking ruin – the fire that had been burning still as they had fled seemed to have ripped through much of the town. Even the trees were blackened and stripped of their usual vibrant purple foliage. The flowers, too, had been destroyed by it, and not even the sea birds were flying overhead. The once bustling town was now devoid of all signs of life. Santari's Peak – the mountain that had once stood proudly watching over all of Tanalorr – was half-collapsed, its eastern side now little more than a pile of rubble on the ground. It had been raining last time they were here, but it wasn't now, and the stillness only added to the eerie atmosphere. They continued down to the town in complete silence, none of them knowing what to say, all of them feeling the depth of the loss.

They came to an abrupt stop as they reached the square, all of them seeing it at once – the hundreds of bodies scattered before them, around the markets, on the steps to the Temple. Bodies everywhere they looked; pale, vacant faces with lifeless eyes staring at nothing. Many of them Jedi, many of them children, lightsabers discarded by their sides. Silent tears cascaded down Kata's cheeks and an involuntary sob left her mouth. She saw both Cal and Teelo look down at her, then felt their hands on each of her shoulders in comfort as they stood by her sides, their heads hung in sorrow.

"There's nothing left..." She whispered.

She felt Teelo's hand tighten on her left shoulder and saw Cal turn toward her.

"There may yet be something left," He reminded, his voice muffled by his mask. "Let's not give up before we've looked."

She gave a small nod in response.

"We should split up, cover more ground." Teelo suggested.

"You two stay together, search for any signs of survivors," Cal instructed. "I'll head for the Archive, see what I can find."

"Be careful." Teelo warned.

"You, too."

"bwoo?"

"Stay with Kata, BD."

"woo..."

Kata watched Cal's back as he walked away, his form slumped and his pace slow. She knew what he was feeling right now – the responsibility he must have felt for all of these lost lives. All of the Jedi who followed him and depended on him, so many of them had been killed. And while it wasn't his fault, she knew no amount of reassurance would absolve him of the guilt he would torture himself by needlessly feeling.

"Come on."

Teelo gently guided her towards what was left of the markets and she pulled her eyes away from Cal to follow them. They combed through the remains of the stalls, all of them either burnt out or in tatters, almost no traces remaining of the people who had once worked in them. BD-1 was scanning everything as they went, trying to find any signs of life, and having no luck. Kata couldn't help but stop every few metres to examine the remnants of their lives; a pair of charred shoes by the Cobbler, a tattered leather belt near the Fletcher, broken bottles scattered around the liquor merchant. Her body lay in amongst the shattered glass, at least Kata supposed it was her, though the body had been burned beyond recognition.

Her mind was filled with images of what this place had looked like not three days past – vibrant, bustling, full of the sounds of life. It felt foreign to her now, to see it so empty, so barren, like the very colour had been stripped away. She looked over towards Teelo who was kneeling down by a body slumped in front of one of the stalls. She approached until she could see them clearly, their expression hard as their eyes darted over the corpse's empty face. Kata recognised the smartly dressed young man – it was the Tailor, Benjin was his name. Teelo reached out with their left hand and gently closed his eyes forever.

"How could she have done this?" They wondered quietly.

Kata knew their question wasn't meant to be answered, not that she had the answers to give. She didn't know how Maven could've done this, she didn't understand what could drive a person to do something so terrible. She laid her hand on Teelo's left shoulder in comfort and they reached over to rest their gloved hand atop hers. After a few seconds, they sighed deeply and stood.

"We need to keep moving."

They searched for what felt like hours, checking every stall, trying not to stumble over the many corpses, allies and enemies alike. As their bodies lay together on the cold ground now, Kata couldn't help but wonder what the point of it all was. The differences that caused them to fight and kill one another in life meant nothing in death. So many lives lost for what was ultimately no reason at all. The further they went, the more the three of them were beginning to lose hope. Eventually Teelo stopped and sighed again.

"We should move on," They said. "I don't think there's anyone still alive here."

Kata nodded in agreement.

"bwa-boop?"

Her head turned as BD-1 got her attention. He was standing by one of the stalls, his head turning between her and something inside it.

"What'd you find, BD?"

She walked over to stand next to the droid and her insides sank as her eyes rested on what he'd seen. There were two bodies inside the stall, not burned like many of the rest here – a man and a little girl with two blonde braids clutched in his arms. It looked like he'd been trying to protect her, but both of their bodies were riddled with blaster shots. Kata heard Teelo wander over, stopping just behind her when they saw what she was looking at. She heard them let out the quietest breath and could feel her own sadness reflected in them.

"It's Niuna and Jeshan." She stated flatly.

"woo..."

She thought she should be sad, and she was, but she also felt empty. She thought the sight of this father holding his young daughter protectively in his arms should've brought tears to her eyes, but all it made her feel was numb. She could sense Teelo's eyes on her, but she didn't turn. She could do nothing but stare at the two corpses on the ground.

"C'mon," They said gently, their hand touching her back. "Let's go search the docks."

They had to practically drag her away, but she reluctantly followed. She tried not to look at the faces of the dead as they went, tried not to think about who they were in life. But as her eyes rested on them, she remembered every single one of their names – Chiss, Garan, Pollus, Jubna, Tessill, Do'vida, Voshk... she remembered them all.

She stopped as they reached the docks and she noticed a human boy lying dead near the entrance to Pyloon's – Utri, the boy Cal had saved from a neck wound after the first wave had hit and sent to help at the docks. So he had died anyway, the blaster mark through his chest seeming to be the cause. He was thirteen, the same age she knew Cal had been when the Purge happened, only three years younger than she was now. Just a kid…

"Kata..."

Teelo's voice caused her to turn away from the dead Padawan as they approached her, their eyes sympathetic.

"I know this is hard, believe me," They said gently. "But we have a job to do here, let's try to stay focused."

She nodded at them, knowing they were trying to keep her from slipping into despair. They placed their cool hand in the crook of her neck reassuringly.

"Why don't you head into Pyloon's, see if you can find anything?" They suggested.

"Ok." She replied listlessly.

She turned away from them to make her way into the saloon, hearing BD-1's little metal feet slowly trailing behind her. She stepped through the gap in the broken door into the saloon that was once Greez's pride and joy and her heart ached to see it in such a state of ruin. She pulled her mask from her face, the smoke not seeming to settle as much in here, and BD began to scurry about scanning everything, searching. Kata ran her fingers along the rough walls lined with pictures and banners the Younglings had made for Greez as decorations, now torn and barely hanging. Blaster marks scorched every surface she could see and blood in varying colours of red, purple and blue was streaked across the floor near the few bodies that were scattered around. Kata's eyes fell on one of them, a Tholothian woman, whom she recognised to be Sari. She was Greez's business partner, much like Monk, and the person who had actually kept Pyloon's in Haven running over the years. Kata wondered if he even knew she hadn't survived.

"wooo..."

Kata looked over at the droid, who was now perched on the bar, also staring at Sari's body on the floor. Kata's face fell and she felt tears sting her eyes at the sight of his antennae pointed down and his little body slumped. He loved Sari almost as much as he loved Greez and Cal. Kata had often come into Pyloon's to see him perched on her shoulder or dutifully assisting her in preparing for the dinner rush. When he hadn't been with her or Cal, he'd been here, and she knew his little heart must be aching as much as hers at the sight of what Pyloon's had been reduced to, at the sight of people he knew and cared about gone.

"I'm sorry, buddy." She said softly, reaching out to him.

He leant his head into her touch and Kata petted him comfortingly. The little guy was usually so full of energy, such a positive influence on all of them, always the first to pick someone up when they were feeling down. It was hard for Kata to see him so sad, so defeated. She'd noticed that far too many people thought of droids as little more than helpful machines, but she knew they were so much more than that. Droids like Monk and Zee and others like the funny little pit droids or ones like Tina or DD-EC, they had so much personality. They had thoughts, feelings, wants and fears, like any organic species and BD-1 was no exception.

"Hey," She tapped her finger under BD's chin, causing the droid to look up at her. "I know things are bad, but you've still got us. Chin up, ok?"

"woo-woo-woop!"

She tried to smile at him.

"That's the spirit – they wouldn't want us to give up hope."

"boo-bweep."

"Come on, let's keep looking."

BD-1 hopped down behind the bar and Kata could see his blue light as he scanned everything he could. Just helping to lift his spirits had even made her feel slightly better. She turned and looked around, not really sure where to start herself. The far side of the saloon had caved in, rock and debris spilling into the bar. An arm was sticking out from underneath the rubble, presumably belonging to a body trapped underneath that she couldn't see. Her face fell as she thought about whoever that person was and the horrible way they must have died.

She was about to try and find a way around the rubble when she was suddenly overwhelmed with an inexplicable feeling of dread. It came out of nowhere and stopped her in her tracks. She didn't know if it was the Force or simply her own instincts, but she felt compelled to look closer. The part of the arm she could see had a cloth sleeve to its elbow and beyond that the skin was pale and freckled. Her eyes drifted down to the wrist around which a woven leather band was tied... a bracelet that held a black stone with a monster face carved into it.

Kata's eyes widened as she recognised it, the awful realisation dawning on her slowly. Suddenly, she felt as though she couldn't breathe, like something was pressing on her chest and forcing the air from her lungs. She clutched at her chest for the sudden pain she felt in her heart. Small, broken sounds of shock were leaving her and her legs collapsed beneath her, causing her to fall to her knees in the middle of the ruined saloon.

"No..." She barely choked out.

It couldn't be her. She couldn't be dead. This was a nightmare, it had to be. A nightmare that was never-ending. Powerful sobs racked her body, causing the pain in her chest to worsen. She doubled over, her hands clawing at herself and tears dripping from her eyes onto the floor. She heard Teelo and BD-1 say her name behind her, the Jedi probably having sensed her despair and come in to check on her. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak, she couldn't feel anything but the profound grief that was gripping her. Soon she felt Teelo's gentle hands on her back as they knelt beside her, their touch the only thing still grounding her in reality.

"I'm sorry..." They whispered.

She sat up and turned towards them, throwing herself into their arms, needing them to hold her tightly as she sobbed uncontrollably into their chest. She had never felt anything like this before, not when she had lost her mother, or her father – this was different, this loss. This loss had come out of nowhere and punched a hole right through her chest. This loss was senseless, it was cruel and unfair. This loss made her feel both empty and filled with sorrow. Images of her beautiful face flashed through her mind – of her deep grey eyes, her perfect sun-kissed skin, her brilliant smile and her gleaming golden hair.

Kata buried her face deep into Teelo's chest and let out a feral scream of grief and rage. She felt them tighten their hold on her and murmur something that was intended as comfort, but she couldn't hear their words. There was nothing they could have said to reach her in that moment. She recalled their last words to each other; she'd told her to be safe, she'd told her not to die. How could she do this to her? How could she leave her like this? Why did she have to die? Why did this happen? Why?

There were no answers to her questions. There was no comfort for her grief. There was no reason why. Jynna was dead because the Empire had killed her, like they had killed everyone else here. She was dead because of Maven and her selfish desire for revenge. She was dead because she was a Jedi and she had defended her home and her people with her life, as she had promised to do. She was dead and Kata wasn't, and there was no reason why that would ever make sense.

The Archive was just as ruined as the rest of Haven. Holobooks charred, scattered in piles, shelves toppled, priceless relics that had lined the room now littered on the ground. Cal tried not to let the despair grip him as he was transported to another place and time, when he'd wandered alone through another Archive that had been reduced to naught but ash. He couldn't think about Jedha now, about Cere, about Cordova, about how his history seemed to be cruelly repeating itself. He couldn't think about Master Gidun, about how his life had ended, about what he would say now if he could see his Archive in its current state. He couldn't think about all he'd lost.

He eventually stepped back outside, reeling from everything he'd seen. So many echoes of death, pain and fear that they had all started to blur together. It had been hard for him to stay focused on the things that were relevant, sensing Maven's signature in amongst all of those ripples in the Force proving to be difficult. He was beginning to think she had tried to hide them from him deliberately somehow, knowing about his ability and not wanting to be caught out by it, he suspected.

There were still far too many missing pieces to this puzzle, but after all he'd seen, he was now certain of two things: Maven definitely had an accomplice and it definitely wasn't Teelo. He had yet to see this person, but he'd heard their voice, and he hadn't recognised it. He needed something more conclusive – some kind of clue as to who they were and what their involvement was. He left the Archive and headed around the base of the mountain towards the living quarters, stepping around debris and the occasional body as he went. He tried not to think about the people who'd perished here, the people that he'd failed. If he thought about it, he would spiral, and he knew there was no time for that. The Empire could return at any moment, he had to stay focused.

He made his way to Maven's quarters to find it still relatively untouched by the chaos, though the door was busted and hanging loose. He used the Force to wrench it aside and removed his mask as he stepped into her room. Here her signature was incredibly strong and he could sense echoes all around him. He tried to narrow it down by focusing on the emotions he'd felt connected with the mysterious accomplice and he felt something emanating from an object on Maven's desk. He picked it up and was shocked to find he recognised it; it was Teelo's pendant. They'd told him they'd misplaced it a few days before the attack, asking him if he knew where it was – he supposed he did, now. They must have left it here, or Maven had stolen it from them for some reason. He knew it had sentimental value to them and they weren't usually so careless with things like that.

He hesitated, slightly concerned about potentially prying into Teelo's personal business, but he was infinitely more curious as to why that mysterious stranger's aura was surrounding something of theirs. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply as he connected with the Force through the object. It was always jarring, being transported to another time and place so vividly, never quite knowing where or when, or what he would see. Somehow he never quite got used to the feeling. He was admittedly relieved to not see Teelo in the memory, but equally confused to see not only Maven, but the person standing in front of her.

"Everything is progressing just as we planned," Maven said. "Cal's sights are fixed on Teelo, we must proceed with the final step."

She held out Teelo's pendant by its chain toward the stranger and Cal narrowed his eyes as he circled around to get a better look at them.

"This is theirs, use it."

The stranger took the necklace from her.

"And you are certain they do not suspect something?"

It was the same voice he'd heard in the other echo, harsh and of moderate pitch, with the hint of an accent that seemed familiar, but he couldn't quite place it.

"Teelo?" Maven scoffed. "Don't worry, I have them wrapped around my finger, the poor fool suspects nothing."

Cal's lip twitched in anger at hearing her talk about them. He could see the stranger clearly now – they wore brown robes and their face was covered by a silver mask. He could see a braid of white hair over their shoulder and the light grey skin of their slight hands as they held the pendant. He also noticed something else distinctive about their hands: dark tattoos stretching up their fingers like tendrils.

"Besides, once they figure out what I've done, it'll be far too late." Maven added.

"Why not just kill the Jedi now?" The stranger questioned.

"Trust me, when the time comes, I'll kill Cal myself, but first I want him to live long enough to know that he's lost."

Cal could feel the hatred that Maven felt for him, could see it on her face. He understood her needing someone to blame for her sister's death, but to feel such vitriol towards him that she would doom so many innocent people wasn't only unjustified, it was completely insane. Still, he knew how the Dark Side corrupted. He'd seen it before, felt it himself, and the Dark Side of the Force surrounded Maven. He didn't know how he'd never sensed it before, but then again, he'd never sensed it in Bode, either.

The masked stranger nodded once at Maven, then a terrible, dark energy suddenly enveloped them. Their form became distorted, seeming to twist and morph in an unnatural way. Familiar green flames wrapped around their body as it shifted before Cal's eyes, and suddenly the person standing before Maven was no longer the masked stranger… it was Teelo.

"Make haste," Maven instructed, taking back the necklace. "Before the celebration ends."

"Fear not, I will be one with the shadows." Teelo's voice responded.

Cal watched with wide eyes as Teelo smirked – the same smirk he remembered seeing on their face as they'd killed Brother Kline in that echo – and then turned and left the room. He was ejected from the memory, looking down at the object belonging to his friend, the chain rattling as his hand trembled. What in the hell had he just seen? He tried to make sense of it, but he couldn't. He felt like this had to be some kind of deception, because surely he couldn't have just witnessed that masked stranger morph into Teelo like some kind of Changeling? And yet he had. It would certainly explain a lot.

But that stranger wasn't a Changeling, that much was obvious to him. He recalled the details of what he'd seen and a terrible realisation dawned on him that he knew exactly what they were. But it wasn't possible, it shouldn't be possible, nothing about this made any sense! Brother Kline was killed with a lightsaber – Teelo's lightsaber, presumably – and yet he hadn't seen this stranger wielding one. But if they were able to change form like that, even speak with the voice of who they were doubling, it would explain how they were able to move around Haven without being detected, and even how they were able to get to Tanalorr in the first place. The more he thought about it, the more the pieces began to fall into place.

He pocketed the necklace and left Maven's room, his expression focused, but his mind buzzing with a million thoughts and questions. It seemed that Maven had been incredibly careful about leaving a trail and he had a feeling he had found all he was going to find. He hoped it would be enough for them to start painting a clearer picture. He still didn't know where Teelo's compass was, though it was a safe bet that it was still in the hands of the Empire. He didn't know what they planned to do with it now, but it was unlikely they would simply leave Tanalorr be for long, especially if they knew anything at all about its natural resources like the crystal caves. He shuddered at the thought of them doing to Tanalorr what they had done to Ilum.

He wasn't yet ready to re-join the others, his head spinning with everything he'd seen. There was one more thing he needed to do and he wandered out to the cliff that overlooked the Eastern Sea. The cliff where the five of them had stood their first night on Tanalorr, burning the bodies of those they'd lost – those they'd loved. Now he stood alone, staring out at the horizon, the first light of sunrise slowly illuminating the clouds. He had come here so many times since that night, whenever he had needed to be alone with his thoughts or feel closer to those who were gone. Sometimes Merrin or Kata had found him and stood with him, and he recalled how peaceful those moments had felt. That peace seemed so far away now and only the horror and the grief and the loss remained. He could feel it building inside of him as he stood there, threatening to drown him, to swallow him whole.

"I'm sorry," He said aloud slowly. "I made you a promise once that I would continue your legacy, that I would build something to outlast the Empire. And I tried so hard, but I failed..."

He closed his eyes tightly, trying to hold back his emotions.

"I'm sorry I couldn't live up to what you thought I would become, that I'm not the Jedi you hoped I could be. I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise, that I failed you like I failed everyone on Tanalorr, like I fail everyone I love."

He felt a treacherous tear slide down his cheek as the despair tightened its grasp. He fell to his knees, losing control of his emotions, feeling the guilt and the grief crash over him like a wave on the sand. He buried his face in his hand as he sobbed openly, finally letting it all out. He stayed there for a long time before he finally wiped his face with his hand and looked up towards the heavens.

"I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go from here. I don't know how to recover what we've lost, if we even can, if there's even any point in trying."

He rubbed his eyes again as a shaky sigh left him.

"I wish you were here with us. I wish I could hear your voice again, even just for a moment. I heard you that day, when you told me to guide Kata. I've tried to do as you asked, but I need your guidance now. I need your help, Cere, please. I miss you so much."

Another sob left his mouth and he covered it with his hand, trying to keep a hold of himself. He had never felt so lost, so defeated, so hopeless.

"Please say something..." He whispered.

But all he heard was the silence, the eerie stillness in the air. He looked out at the horizon once more and saw the sun beginning to peak over its edge, its brilliant light glistening on the sea. Even though so much had changed, the ever-present cycle of the sun rising and falling still continued. Despite the loss and the fear and the pain, Tanalorr still turned – this planet that had been a beacon of hope for Cal and his family, for the hundreds of others who had called it home. Staring out at the sun now, it was almost easy to believe that nothing had changed at all.

Eventually Cal sighed to himself and stood, deciding he had lingered here too long. He watched the sunrise for a few moments more, waiting, listening, hoping...

"Cal."

His head rose as he heard the familiar voice, though it was far too clear to have been merely a whisper he had sensed through the Force. He thought his ears were deceiving him, but it sounded like it had come from behind him. He felt the presence before he turned slowly, almost terrified. His face was frozen in shock and disbelief as he saw her standing there before him. He blinked a few times, wondering if he was dreaming, if this was a vision somehow. He didn't want to believe what he was seeing was real, but there she was, right in front of him.

"Cere?"

His former mentor regarded him with familiarity. She looked exactly as he remembered, same grey robes, same tattoos, same stern but caring face. He had wished he could see her again, so many times, but now that she was before him, he suddenly found himself lost for words. There was so much he wanted to say that he didn't know where to begin.

"Is that really you?" He asked.

Cere smiled at him.

"Yes." She nodded simply.

It sounded like her, looked like her, and yet Cal still found himself in disbelief. He wondered why he hadn't seen her before, why she was only revealing herself now. Though he imagined crossing the veil of the Force between life and death was no easy feat. And somehow he knew that whatever time he had with her now was likely to be limited.

"I'm sorry." He said simply.

Cere didn't speak for a moment.

"Why are you sorry?" She eventually asked.

Cal's eyes dropped to the floor between them, feeling the guilt like an iron vice around his heart.

"I couldn't save them. I tried to do what I thought you would do, what I thought you would want, but I failed. I tried so hard, but it wasn't enough. I led these people to their slaughter."

"Cal..." Cere walked toward him. "For as long as I've known you, you have always strived to do what you felt was right, against impossible odds. What you and Merrin built here with the Path and the Hidden Jedi was far greater than what even I could have imagined, and I am so proud of you, Cal."

A choked sound left Cal's mouth at hearing her say that and he looked down. He couldn't feel her touch physically as she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he felt his connection to her through the Force, causing him to meet her gaze once more.

"You have become a far greater Jedi than I ever hoped," She continued to praise him. "You led your people with the grace and wisdom that a Master should, despite the threats you faced. You place such burden upon yourself for events that were out of your control. You couldn't have stopped what happened here no matter what you did, and I think that deep down you know that."

He did know it. He knew that what they had built couldn't last, that it was only a matter of time before the Empire discovered them and sought to destroy all they had built. He knew it, but it didn't make it any easier, it didn't make him feel like any less of a failure.

"I don't know what to do now," He admitted. "Tell me, what should I do?"

"You don't need my guidance any more than you have these last several years, Cal," Cere corrected. "Look at all you have accomplished with those you already have around you. It is to them you must look for guidance when you are lost."

"My burdens aren't theirs to bear."

"And yet they bear them with you all the same. You have never understood the impact you have on those around you, or how much you mean to those who care for you. Merrin, Kata, BD-1, Greez, Teelo, they are your family, Cal. They love you, you must learn to put aside your pride and lean on them when you cannot stand on your own."

Cal nodded, understanding what she was saying. He knew he had a tendency to put too much pressure on himself, to try and bear all of his responsibilities alone, something that Merrin had scolded him for time and time again over the years. His thoughts turned to her now, wondering where she was, if she was thinking of him, too.

"Merrin and Greez are out there, somewhere," He turned back to Cere. "I have to find them, but I don't know where they've gone."

Cere gave him a knowing smile.

"Come with me."

She turned then and began to make her way back towards Haven. Cal hesitated before following her ethereal form as she led him back around the mountain to what remained of the living quarters. She stopped outside what used to be his and Merrin's room, the Jedi recognising it through the massive hole that had been blasted in its wall. His brow furrowed as he felt something emanating from inside.

"What's in there?" He asked.

Cere looked up at him and he met her gaze.

"Answers to questions you have not yet thought to ask."

Her strangely cryptic answer only made him more trepidatious. Feeling his heart pounding in his chest for reasons he couldn't explain, he crossed through the destroyed threshold of the room with one more look back towards Cere. She simply waved him forward gently, her face expressionless. He tried to smile at her, but he couldn't make his face move. He was suddenly feeling an enormous pull from the Force, unlike anything he'd felt before. There was something here, something in the remnants of his and Merrin's room – of their life together – that the Force was willing him to find. Feeling as though he might pass out, he stepped over the pile of rubble at his feet.

His steps were light and cautious as he looked around the room. A room that had been their sanctuary, the one place where they could just be with each other, and leave the worries of the Galaxy behind. He saw so many memories within these walls, moments between them, now marred by the pain of their separation and the uncertainty of their future. Only that powerful pull kept his body moving forward. He saw the sofa where the six of them had sat so many times, talking, laughing and spending time together, like the strange little family they were. He remembered so many times in those moments where he had wished Cere could have been there with them.

His head turned to his left and he felt the pull grow stronger. He stopped beside the bed, spying a small metal object on the floor, dusted with ash. He knelt down to pick it up and felt his blood run cold as he realised what it was. It was Merrin's gold compass, the one she always wore on her belt. She must have left it behind the day of the attack, she usually never went anywhere without it. Was this the clue he had come here to find? Suddenly he was terrified – did he want to know? What if he saw something he didn't want to see? What if...

She's alive, Cal, He reminded himself sternly. You know she is.

He did know, Kata had told him she and Greez had made it out safely. He could feel her, out there, somewhere. He needed to know, no matter how painful it might be. He had to see for himself. The Force had guided him here for a reason; he had to trust in it, as he always had. With a deep, slow breath and a shaking hand, Cal closed his eyes and connected to the echo in the Force.

He stood up in their room, before the attack, everything in its place. Just the sight of it caused him pain. He took a few steps back, seeing Merrin quite close to him, sitting on the bed right next to where he had just picked up the compass. She was holding the object in the memory, turning it in her hands absentmindedly. Her expression was as unreadable as ever. Seeing her now caused Cal's heart to ache; he missed her more than he could say. One of the Anchorites was with her, standing before her, and they handed Merrin a cup of something.

"This will help."

Cal recognised the voice – it was Sister Berta, one of the healers. He didn't know whether she'd survived the attack. Why was Merrin with a healer? She drank the substance in the cup and handed it back to the Anchorite.

"Thank you." She said gratefully.

"There is also a tonic I can fix you, for the other symptoms."

"That won't be necessary."

"As you wish, Nightsister."

"I am grateful for your help, Sister Berta."

Cal was confused and alarmed at what he was hearing. What symptoms? Merrin hadn't mentioned anything being wrong, had she been hiding something from him? She had been a little off in the days before the attack, but whenever he'd checked in with her, she'd assured him she was fine. Why would she lie to him? He halted his chaotic questions, knowing from experience that it would be better to allow the memory to play out fully before jumping to conclusions.

Sister Berta bowed her head respectfully and Merrin returned the gesture, then the Anchorite left her alone in the room. Merrin sat very still for a long moment, her eyes darting around at nothing, seeming lost in her thoughts. Cal desperately searched her face for answers, needing something, anything to make sense of what he was seeing. After a while, she sucked in a sharp breath and her eyes closed. Was she in pain? She held her breath for a moment before exhaling slowly. She gripped her compass tightly in one hand and laid the other over her stomach gently.

"Do not worry," She said aloud. "We will tell your father today, I look forward to seeing the surprise on his face. I cannot wait to tell Kata, and Greez. You are very lucky, you know, to grow up in a place like this, surrounded by ones who will love you and guide you. Not many in the galaxy are so fortunate. I look forward to the day we will meet... it feels like we have waited a very long time for you."

Merrin smiled warmly, and suddenly, mercilessly, Cal was ejected from the echo back into the cold reality around him. Though now it seemed impossibly colder and darker after this new revelation.

It can't be.

All of Cal's sense instantly left him in that moment. He felt like he couldn't breathe, couldn't think. His blood turned to ice, he could hear his heartbeat deafening in his ears, and he instantly broke out in a cold sweat. He fell to his knees, hyperventilating, no longer having the strength to stand. So profound was the fear, the terror, which gripped him. He felt as though his eyes and ears must have deceived him, that this was some sort of hideous trick. It couldn't be true.

This couldn't be happening now. It didn't make sense! Seven years they had been together, and it hadn't happened. For two of those years they had wanted it, tried to make it happen, and it hadn't happened. They had accepted that it simply wasn't possible. Why was this happening now? It can't be.

But it was, there was no mistaking what he had just seen. Suddenly, so much about those weeks before Tanalorr was invaded became clear. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen it, hadn't realised it sooner. It was so obvious! He'd completely missed the signs because he simply wasn't looking for them. He had never expected it. Even now, after seeing it himself, he couldn't believe it.

Merrin was pregnant.

Why didn't she tell him? What had intervened? He didn't know what day this memory was from; perhaps it had been the morning of the attack? He decided that it didn't matter right now.

Clutching tightly onto Merrin's compass, just for something to ground him, he tried desperately to slow the panicked breaths passing through his lungs. He needed to get a hold of himself; he needed to think. So much was going through his head and he had to cut through the noise. Deep breaths, Cal. It was all he could do to just breathe. After learning of Maven's shape-shifting accomplice, communing with Cere and now this? It was too much for his mind to handle.

Cere.

His eyes snapped open and his head turned towards the entrance, or where it used to be. He couldn't see her and thought maybe she was gone. But if ever there was a time that Cal needed her, it was right now. He pulled himself to his feet at last, needing to grip the furniture for support. He swayed unsteadily, forcing his legs to move forward. He emerged into the yellow glare of sunrise, still holding the compass in his hand, almost afraid he would lose his grip on reality again if he let go of it. He had to lean against the stone wall, still feeling the effects of the panic attack he'd just experienced. He looked to his left to see Cere, standing nearby with a knowing expression. Cal looked at her wide-eyed, his face blank, in shock.

"You knew."

It was a statement, not a question. Of course she knew, why else would she have led him in there? She knew he would want to know.

"I see much on Tanalorr, Cal," She said. "I've been watching over you all for some time. I knew, even before Merrin knew herself."

Cal's eyes wandered to the floor, his mind far away.

"Why didn't she tell me?" He whispered.

"You know the answer to that already."

Cal looked back at her. So that echo was from the morning of the invasion, then. She didn't get the chance to tell him the news because Tanalorr was attacked that day. The timing of it all was unbelievable.

"I have to find her," He breathed, looking at Cere, desperate for any clue she could give him. "But I still don't know where to look."

"Yes, you do. Search your feelings, Cal, you know where they are."

He did as she instructed, closing his eyes, his thoughts focused on nothing but Merrin. He knew her better than he knew himself, if anyone could figure out where she was, it should be him. Before long, the realization seemed to hit him like a cargo freighter.

Dathomir.

His eyes flew open. Of course! How had it not occurred to him sooner? Where was the one place in the Galaxy Merrin would go, in her vulnerable state, to feel safe? A place the Empire would maybe not search for them, a place where she could protect the survivors in her charge. A place where he could find her, where he might think to look, eventually. Of course she would go home.

He shut his eyes tightly and slammed his fist against the wall, frustrated beyond words with his lack of foresight.

"Damn it," He cursed. "I've been such a blind fool!"

"Yes," Cere laughed, walking to stand in front of him, her transparent form barely silhouetted in the sunlight. "But now that you finally see, you also know what you must do."

Cal's expression shifted to steely determination. She was right – he knew what he had to do now. For the first time since Tanalorr fell, he knew where to go. He looked at Cere and stepped forward, no longer needing the wall to hold him upright.

"Cere, I..."

She held up a hand to stop him.

"Whatever you feel you need to say, there will be another time. She's waiting for you."

There was still so much Cal wanted to say, but she was right – Merrin needed him and he had already delayed too long.

"Thank you," He settled on. "For everything."

Cere smiled at him, this boy she had saved on Bracca, now a man grown, a Jedi Master and soon to be a father. She looked at him with pride that words couldn't express.

"May the Force be with you, Cal Kestis."