CHAPTER 26 / Rise, Jedi Knight
TANALORR
4 BBY
The sky was beginning to turn from its crystal blue to the orange hues of evening as the setting sun shone its brilliant rays over the fields. The Mantis crew had spent the better part of that day in the Western Expanse helping the farming community with a small pest problem. The field rats had been breeding like... well, field rats, and had been helping themselves to the crops.
Initially, Cal and Kata had planned to handle it alone, but when they'd arrived and seen the sheer bloatedness of the rats' numbers, they'd called the others for backup. Cal had remarked that it would be a good bonding exercise for them. Teelo wondered if other crews out there spent quality time together by exterminating giant rats, but they wouldn't have had it any other way.
They struck down two of the rats now that had been bold enough to nip at their heels. Then they threw their double-bladed saber, the red blades spinning through three more before they pulled the weapon back to their hand. They felt eyes on them and looked to their left to see Kata and BD-1 watching and the Padawan pulled a face.
"Show-off." She accused.
"Hey, I can't help it if I have style." They shot back.
She stuck her tongue out at them and they screwed up their face in retaliation. They'd felt their bond with Kata growing stronger lately, and they couldn't exactly put their finger on why. She was like the little sister they never wanted, and they had a healthy rivalry going. But buried underneath that, they cared deeply for her and felt a desire to protect her. The galaxy could be a dark, cruel place, and they lamented all she had already been exposed to so young. But she was tough and she had Cal and Merrin to guide her, which was more than most had.
Her mentors in question approached them then, stepping around the many, many pieces of field rat littered around their feet.
"That seems to be the last of them." Merrin informed.
"Finally." Teelo shut off the red blades of their weapon.
They saw Cal glance down at it, then back up at them.
"Seriously, Teelo, we should do something about your lightsaber." He commented.
"Why, worried I'll scare the locals?" They teased.
"No, you already scare them," Cal returned. "Red blades probably don't help, though."
"I'll pass on the excursion to Ilum, thanks," They refused. "Have you seen that place lately?"
"There are other ways."
"There are?" Kata asked.
He looked down at her and nodded.
"Master Gidun was telling me about a ritual that can be performed to purify corrupted crystals. He's seen it done before himself."
"Yeah, I'll let you know if I'm ever feeling 'pure' enough." Teelo dismissed.
Cal sighed at their stubbornness, but didn't push the matter further. They were all mildly startled as their comlinks suddenly beeped.
"Stinger One here, go ahead." Cal said.
"Stinger One, this is Home Base, what's your status?"
Stinger One was the call sign for their crew, after the Stinger Mantis. Teelo recognised Master Maven's voice on the other end. She'd arrived on Tanalorr shortly before them, and they'd grown quite fond of her as well. They'd also definitely noticed her flirting and checking them out more than once, they weren't oblivious. But they just didn't know if they were ready for that kind of thing yet.
"Green, we're just wrapping things up here," Cal replied. "Still need to deal with the nest, but we're losing light. We'll finish up and report in by morning."
"Copy Stinger One, stay safe out there. Home Base out."
"Roger, roger."
Both Kata and Teelo mimicked the Separatist battle droids simultaneously, then they looked at each other and laughed. Teelo caught Cal smirking at them.
"brrt-brrt-brrt!"
"Come, it will be dark soon," Merrin began to lead the way towards the cliffs. "We should make camp for the night."
"Been a while since we roughed it under the stars." Cal enthused as they followed her.
"boo-woo."
"Perfect night for it, too." Kata observed.
Teelo hummed in agreement as they looked up at the sky. It was unusually clear that day, not many of Tanalorr's strange cumulonimbus clouds overhead and the stars were already shining brightly. They knew they would be in for a stellar display that night with no moon to drown out their light.
"boo-loop."
BD-1 leapt from Kata's shoulder to Teelo's arm and clamboured up onto their head.
"Hey, watch the hair!" They warned.
"brrllrrt, too-woot!"
"What do you mean 'vain'?" They demanded.
Kata giggled at them.
"He likes you 'cos you're the tallest." She explained.
"Like a tree," Cal added, turning towards them. "Green enough to be one, too."
"Ha, ha." Teelo replied dryly.
They grabbed the droid that was perched precariously on the top of their head and deposited him on their left shoulder, to which he made a distinct sound of protest.
"You haven't spent much time around droids, have you?" Kata observed.
"Kata, I hadn't spent much time around people before I met you lot," They reminded. "I like droids just fine when they're not invading my personal space."
They shot BD-1 a look.
"bwa-tat!"
"Better get used to it," Cal chuckled. "I've known him ten years and he's always been that clingy."
"boop-bweep."
"I am with Teelo," Merrin turned to back them up. "The droid does not respect personal boundaries."
"frrtrrt!"
"You can hitch a ride, but stay out of my hair, literally." Teelo instructed.
"myam-wam!"
"I don't think BD appreciates how many hours you spend in front of the mirror every morning." Cal teased.
Teelo pulled a small rock from the ground with the Force and ditched it at him, which he ducked to avoid just in time.
"Holy kri—rrreepy crawlies."
Kata giggled, always finding it exceedingly funny when Cal almost cursed in front of her and corrected himself.
"That was almost a credit for the Temple fund, Cal." Merrin pointed out.
"Yeah, watch your fuckin' language, Cal." Teelo berated.
The Jedi shot them a dirty look.
"That's two credits, Teelo." Kata said.
"I'll letcha know when I have two credits."
"brrt-brrt-brrt!"
They set up camp for the night on one of the grassy plateaus atop the cliffs. The last moments of sunset provided a spectacular view of the Western Expanse and the Crystal Sea beyond. Tanalorr was beautiful, there was no denying it. Teelo remembered the first time they'd arrived here, how floored they had been by its eccentricity and majesty. There was no other planet like it in the galaxy that they'd seen or heard of.
And it was peaceful, truly serene. They drank in the calm around them now; the smell of salt on the ocean breeze that blew gently through the purple grass, the call of the sea birds overhead and the distant sounds of life from the farming settlement nearby. It occurred to them in that moment, as it often did, how fortunate they were to call this place home.
"Hellooo, Teelo?" Kata got their attention.
"Hm, what?" They turned.
"Your head up in the stars again?"
"Always."
"Well, if you're gonna stand there like a brooding Wookiee, can you at least put the wood down first?"
"How dare you, I'm much better looking than a Wookiee."
"And just as humble, too." She retorted sarcastically.
Teelo chuckled as they dropped their armful of bracken by the fire she was currently building. Cal and Merrin soon returned with a couple of the field rats they'd slain earlier.
"They any good for eating?" Teelo inquired.
"You'd be surprised," Cal replied, setting about skinning one of them. "Greez makes a pretty mean field rat stew."
"Can't help but notice you're not Greez."
"No, but I know a few of his secrets."
"Is the field rat stew one of them?" Kata asked.
"Well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret anymore, would it?"
"Fortunately for all of us," Merrin interjected. "I will be preparing the food tonight."
"Thank the Force for that." Teelo added.
Kata giggled and Cal grumbled discontentedly.
As it turned out, Merrin made a pretty mean stew herself. Teelo didn't suppose growing up on Dathomir would've taught her much about the culinary arts, but what did they know? They were about as knowledgeable as Cal when it came to these things and spending three years on a planet like Ontotho hadn't done them any favours.
Sitting around a campfire eating and talking like this reminded Teelo of old times – drinking and laughing with Amai and their friends in the cantina on Ryloth. It was a time that used to cause them pain to think about, but now they tried to hold onto those good memories from a simpler time. They didn't drink anymore, hadn't touched the stuff since they'd left Coruscant, but the sentiment was still the same.
"I don't believe it." Kata said.
"Swear on my life." Teelo replied.
"So you mean to tell me you took on three AATs single-handed and survived?" She sounded unconvinced.
"And you were how old?" Merrin asked.
"Sixtee—no, it was on Onderon, fifteen."
"You were on Onderon?" Cal interjected.
"Yeah, third year of the war, second siege of Iziz."
"You were there after me, then. Master Tapal and I were there during the first siege, right before we were reassigned to Bracca."
Teelo looked at him in surprise, this being news to them.
"No shit? We must've just missed each other."
"Small galaxy." Cal tilted his head.
"Ok, ok, back to the AATs," Kata interrupted impatiently. "How did you do it?"
"I went under 'em," They explained. "Armour's weakest under there and they can't shoot at you, long as you can take the heat from the down thrusters."
"Huh. I never thought to do that." Cal remarked.
"My regiment used to call me the 'AAT Destroyer'."
"Ok, now you're talkin' smack."
"I'm not, I swear! Whenever they showed up on the battlefield, Commander Vita used to say 'throw the kid at 'em, they'll sort 'em out!'"
They chuckled at the memory, then their face fell as they thought about Commander Vita and the other Clones. They hadn't thought about the Clone Wars in a long time. Everything that'd happened to them since then had sort of drowned it out, and they were still struggling to recover their memories from before. Talking about them helped, but it also made them sad.
"Whatever you say, Master Niteva." Kata doubted, shaking them from their reverie.
"Don't call me 'Master', that's weird," They replied. "You know I'm technically still a Padawan like you, right?"
"Get outta here." She dismissed.
"It's the truth."
"What, you mean you were never knighted?" Cal clarified.
They turned to him, shrugging a shoulder.
"Not in any official sense, no. My Master died in the Purge and I've been in hiding pretty much since then, so it never really came up."
Cal's brows raised in surprise, then a suspicious smirk crept its way onto his face.
"Well, let's rectify that then, shall we?"
He stood with a grunt and moved a little further away from the fire, drawing his saber. He stopped and looked at them very pointedly.
"Kneel."
They returned his look with a most sceptical one of their own.
"Are you serious?"
"Deadly."
Teelo hesitated, their eyes darting around, a thousand thoughts racing through their mind. They didn't know why they thought this might be a trick – they weren't the kind of people to joke about such things. And yet, they hesitated. They heard the peanut gallery inside their mind chiming in:
They're all waiting for you to do something.
You should take him up on it.
Don't you want to be a Jedi?
Truthfully, they didn't know if they did. It was a possibility that they thought had long passed them by. But here they were, where they never expected to be, surrounded by friends they never thought they would have, being presented with an opportunity they never thought would come. It struck them at that moment, how strange life could be.
They hadn't thought of themself as a Jedi for a long time. Not since their last night on Aridus, with Amai, the night before the Purge. It was still hard to think about – that fateful night that had changed both of their lives forever. That had led them both to Ryloth, and eventually led Teelo to the dark side and Amai to his death... Ever since they had fallen, they hadn't believed it was something they could ever be again. Not after the things they'd done on Coruscant...
Yet Cal stood before them now, an expectant smile on his face, offering just that. They were suddenly inexplicably afraid – did they deserve to claim the title of Jedi Knight? Had they done enough to redeem themself of all of the evil, hateful acts they'd committed under the influence of the darkness? Was it a shadow they could ever banish from their soul?
Cal seems to think so.
He wouldn't offer this if he didn't.
Cal doesn't say things he doesn't mean.
Like Amai...
It occurred to Teelo again, as it did sometimes, how true that was. Cal was similar to Amai in a lot of ways. They were both brave and strong and selfless. Always prepared to fight for what they believed in, to defend the innocent and aid the less-fortunate. They only needed to look around at everything he and his family had built on Tanalorr to know that. They were both the embodiment of what Teelo thought a Jedi should be. And they knew he wouldn't make this offer to just anyone.
They turned towards Kata and Merrin, who both motioned them forward and BD-1 gave an encouraging "beep". They finally put their paranoia aside and slowly walked over to stand in front of Cal. His green eyes were unmoving from theirs and they suddenly felt small under his air of authority. They got down on one knee and bowed their head. They heard his saber ignite and the orange blade lit up the grass beneath their feet.
"By the right of the Council, by the will of the Force, Teelo Niteva..."
They felt the heat of his saber as he hovered it over each of their shoulders, then their head in turn as he spoke the words.
"...Rise, Jedi Knight."
They lifted their head to look up at him and stood slowly. He smiled at them and they couldn't help but smile back, a small exhale leaving their mouth. Just like that, in one moment, they were no longer a fallen Jedi.
All was silent for a few seconds, which Kata soon broke with her excited hollering.
"Woo, Teelo!"
"bweeeeeee!"
BD-1 did one of his happy spin-jumps and even Merrin was clapping with a smile on her face. Teelo chuckled self-consciously, realising that they still hated being in the spotlight, obviously that hadn't changed.
Cal moved to sit back down and they followed, Kata immediately shuffling around next to them.
"So, can I call you 'Master' now?" She teased.
"Shut up!"
They messed her hair playfully to which she exclaimed in protest and the others laughed.
Teelo found themself feeling something they hadn't felt in a very long time. They felt almost... giddy. It was a strange, foreign feeling – that of new possibilities, of personal growth. A sense of belonging they thought they would never find again.
The five of them were all a bit sluggish as they piled onto the Mantis the next morning after dealing with the field rats' nest, having stayed up too late into the night talking, laughing and being far too merry. Teelo caught Cal yawning as he waited for them by the ramp.
"We disturb your beauty sleep?" The Mirialukan teased.
Cal made an affirmative noise at the end of his yawn and shook it off.
"Looking this good doesn't just happen, you would know." He shot back.
Teelo chuckled at their flirtatious banter. Truthfully, they found both Cal and Merrin to be unfairly attractive people. It was honestly sickening at times. And Cal didn't know how hot he was, which only made it worse. As a hopelessly pansexual individual, they found existing around them both difficult at the best of times. But they had great respect for them as people, and for their relationship. Anyone with their senses could tell how those two felt about each other – they were a match made in the stars. They remembered what it felt like, to have something so special with another person...
"Hey, do me a favour though," Cal continued. "Next time I suggest we sleep on the plateau, punch me in the face. My back is killing me."
Teelo laughed.
"Welcome to being almost thirty, Cal. But I wouldn't dare mess up your face – I'm afraid of what Merrin would do to me."
Now Cal was laughing. It seemed they were both in high spirits this morning despite their shared back pain. Cal turned and started to head onto the ship.
"Hey, Cal?"
He turned back to them, raising his brows expectantly. They hesitated for a moment, struggling to find the words.
"Thank you, for last night," They said sincerely. "I didn't think that being a Jedi meant much to me anymore. I guess I was wrong."
Cal smiled warmly.
"It's true – being a Jedi doesn't mean what it used to. Now it gets to mean whatever you want, whatever you make of it."
Teelo returned his genuine smile as they pondered the truth in his words.
"A wise Master once told me that every Jedi faces the dark side," He continued, his eyes wandering into the past. "That we will always struggle, and that is the test. And it's the choice to keep fighting that makes us who we are."
Teelo thought on that for a moment.
"Certainly sounds like a wise Master." They complimented.
"She was," Cal nodded and laid a friendly hand on their right shoulder. "You've had your fair share of struggles, Teelo, but they don't have to define you. What you decide to do, who you become... that's up to you."
The corner of Teelo's mouth pulled up. He was right; their future was in their hands now. It was up to them to seize this second chance they had been given and make something of it. They deserved that – they had earned it.
"Thanks, Cal."
"You're welcome," He smiled again and patted their shoulder. "Now, I guess there's only one thing left to do."
With that, he headed up the ramp and onto the Mantis, leaving Teelo standing there looking perplexed for a moment before they followed.
Back at Haven, Teelo found themself at the back of Rion's workshop, Cal and Kata standing by their sides. They stared at their lightsaber on the workbench in front of them, debating. Cal had spoken to Master Gidun when they'd returned and he'd talked them through purifying their crystals. But now that it came down to it, they found themself... terrified.
Why are you hesitating?
They think they can't do this.
You won't know unless you try.
"You ok?"
Cal's voice shook them from their anxious thoughts and they looked at him, their fear written all over their face.
"What if this doesn't work?" They asked.
"It'll work," Cal replied confidently. "You've just gotta have a little faith."
They didn't know who they had less faith in: the Force or themself.
"I believe in you, Teelo." Kata encouraged.
"bwoo-woo!"
They turned to their left and smiled down at her and BD-1, the little droid perched on her shoulder. Their hopeful faces giving them strength.
They believe in you.
Now you just have to believe in yourself.
They took a deep breath and reached out towards their weapon. They used the Force to dismantle it, the kyber crystals emitting their crimson glow as they unseated them. They closed their eyes, breathed deeply and focused. They remembered Master Gidun's instructions to quiet their mind and attune to their crystals. To remember that they were not just objects for channelling power, but physical manifestations of the Force.
Their connection to these crystals was strong; they'd been bonded with them almost all their life, managing to hang onto the same lightsaber all these years. They could feel the corruption within them now, like a parasite that had sucked the light from them, not dissimilarly from what the dark side had done to Teelo. They felt all the negativity branded onto those crystals – pain, fear, shame, anger, aggression, passion, loss... everything they had felt that had led them to the darkness.
They took another calming breath, remembering not to allow themself to be caught up in those emotions in their bid to understand them. Master Gidun had said that in order to banish the corruption, they must empathise with what they felt. Not an easy task, to empathise with oneself, to turn the forgiveness they would so readily offer others inwards. They weren't sure that they could, but they had to try.
They thought about Aridus, about the Clone Wars, about Master Renvar and the Purge. They thought about Ryloth, about their friends Lash, Raa'va and Syri. They thought about the awful things that'd happened to them there, the horrible things they'd survived. They started to lose themself in the memories, in the trauma, but they pushed through.
You can do this.
Keep going.
They thought about the Inquisitors, about falling to the dark side, about Coruscant. They thought about the Black Sun, about Ani and Dale and Aylin. They thought about all the terrible things they'd done, things they didn't know if they could ever make up for. But mostly they thought about Amai. He was the one constant through everything – the one person that had always been there, until he wasn't...
They remembered his boyish face, his hazel eyes, his gorgeous smile. They remembered his strength, his compassion, his sense of justice and his selflessness. They remembered every kiss, every touch between them, every moment of happiness, every whisper of love. They remembered every trial, every hardship, every time they had wanted to stop fighting and he had been there to remind them what they were fighting for. They remembered how he'd saved them, taught them what it meant to love, how he'd never given up on them, even when they'd given up on themself. He had cared for them, been there for them, given his life for them. They remembered his final words:
"You always have a choice, Tel... never forget who you are..."
They would not forget. They would not give up. They would not let him down.
They felt something building... something new and warm. Another shaky breath left their mouth as they focused on the feeling and it grew stronger. They channelled that energy into their crystals, feeling the Force flow through them. An overwhelming sense of peace and clarity washed over them and they could feel something changing. There was an undeniable pulse of energy from their crystals that enveloped them and the room.
They opened their eyes to see particles floating through the air all around them, like snowflakes glistening in the sun. They looked down at their weapon to see that the red glow from their crystals was gone. They almost couldn't believe their eyes as they darted between them.
"W-was that it? Did it work?" Kata wondered aloud.
"brrloop?"
"Only one way to find out." Cal remarked.
Teelo took another deep breath as they returned to reality and reassembled their lightsaber. Their hand trembled as they reached for it, holding it in both of their hands with their thumbs over the switches. Cal and Kata took a step back and they steeled themself and pressed the buttons, both blades igniting a pure white.
They laughed involuntarily in disbelief. They couldn't believe what they were seeing – couldn't believe that had actually worked.
"You did it." Cal said.
"I knew you could." Kata added.
"bweeee!"
They chuckled again, feeling it catch in their throat as they were suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. They hadn't been prepared for how the sight of those white blades would make them feel. It was tangible proof of how far they'd come in only a short time. And it was the first time in a long time that they remembered feeling proud.
You should be proud.
Amai would be, if he were here.
He would be – they knew he would. They wished he could be here to see them now. They loved him, they missed him, they hoped he knew, wherever he was.
"I... I can't believe it." They choked out as they stared at their weapon.
They felt Cal's warm hand on their back and they looked at him.
"You should – that came from you, Teelo."
He smiled proudly at them and they looked back down at their saber. They barely held back their emotions, feeling a deep sense of fulfilment.
Their relationship with the Jedi, with the Force, had been complicated, to say the least. There was a time when they'd been willing to throw it all away for love. Now they understood that they didn't have to, and Cal and his family had shown them that. With them, on Tanalorr, they had found purpose again. They were surrounded by so much good that it was overwhelming at times.
These people they called friends, their crew, their family, had brought meaning back into their life. When they'd found Teelo on Ontotho almost a year past, they'd had no reason to trust them, no reason to help them, and yet they did. Because they were good people and they'd seen a lost soul in need of a guiding hand.
They weren't lost anymore, and they had Cal Kestis to thank for that.
They looked at him now, his kind face, his warm smile, and they were grateful beyond words. They trusted him, they believed in him, as he believed in them. And they knew that wherever he'd lead, they would follow.
They looked back down at their saber and shut off the blades, holding the object firmly in their hands. Those white blades were more than just erasing this one physical reminder of their dark past – they were a symbol of hope. A sign that they were on the right path, that the Force itself had deemed it so. They had never felt more worthy of the title of Jedi Knight.
CORUSCANT
2 BBY
Teelo's eyes opened to the sterility of a medbay, and for a second, their mind tricked them into thinking they were back on Ryloth. They looked to their right to see Cal lying in his bed, still unconscious. They sat forward in their chair and rubbed their tired face, realising they'd dozed off watching over him while he was on sabbatical from the bacta tank. They were pulling him out every eight hours or so, to give his body time to rest.
They looked at their friend, eyes closed, ventilator mask over his face, his body completely still except for the machines forcing his chest to rise and fall steadily. It was a cruel twist of fate that this was how they would finally understand how Amai had felt, being by their side while they were lying in the clinic on Ryloth after the accident, not knowing if they would live. They sighed deeply and reached over to push Cal's red hair back from his face.
Their mind wandered back to that night on Tanalorr, when he had knighted them. They'd never quite gathered the words to express to him what it'd meant to them – what everything he'd done for them had meant. They'd have to be sure to find the words, if he made it through this. He had to make it through this. He had a family, he was going to be a father, he had to survive. He couldn't leave them, not now. Not after everything they'd all been through together.
They sighed again and took his hand in theirs, his skin feeling cold to the touch. Their despair was beginning to grip them in the silence and they felt compelled to speak.
"Y'know, the day we met, on Ontotho," They said in a low voice. "I was havin' a hard time focusing on what you were saying, 'cos all I could think was 'kriff, that is a gorgeous man'."
They laughed through their sorrow.
"A lot's changed since then, but I still get distracted from time to time."
They stared at his face, peaceful in his induced sleep. Wondering if they would ever see his green eyes look at them disapprovingly again.
"I fear I've left too much unsaid," They admitted. "I'm not good at saying how I feel, you know that. You know me better than anyone."
They realised how true that was – that Cal was the person that they were closest to out of anyone they knew. He knew more about them than anyone living. They had shared more of themself with him than they ever thought they would. He was more than a friend; he was a brother to them.
"But I meant what I said, the day we fled Tanalorr. Your family is my family, too. And I promise you I will be there for them... if you can't be."
A shaky exhale left them as they struggled to hold back their emotions. They closed their eyes for a moment, and when they opened them again, their expression was dark.
"And I swear to you, we will get the compass back and kick the Empire out of our home for good. And we will find Jerserra and make her pay for what she's done."
They closed their eyes again, thinking of the Nightsister who had hurt Kata and scarred her face. Who was the reason Cal was lying there fighting for his life. Their resolve was clear, only two goals in their mind now: they would protect their family and they would make sure that witch lived long enough to regret ever harming someone they loved.