DISCLAIMER:first I'm not sure who to credit here but this is inspired by several fanfics so if any certain aspects of the story sound familiar full credit to them! Secondly,I wanna disclose that this story does contain heavy mentions of suicidal thoughts/attempts,self inflicted harm, bulimia and anorexia..i have struggled *very*minimally with anorexia so if there is anyone who has struggled with any of these issues please do give me some constructive criticism on how to convey these in story, as I have a very light grasp of what only one of these issues feels like, take care of yourselves, thankyou and enjoy :)

I was in the ladies room, after another successful attempt at throwing up my lunch Edward had bought me, I need to be thinner, how could he love such a piggish girl? I dwelled on these thoughts as I swiftly returned to our two seater lunch table

"biology next" Edward told me

"ugh I am so not in the mood for school today" I whined

"oh come on I can't ditch with you anymore, you'll end up a simpleton"

I dragged myself to class,Edward, as he always is, right behind me in body guard posture

class dragged on, the longest hour OF MY LIFE. As I leaned to rise from my seat I suddenly felt light headed and then next thing I know I am on the ground. I fainted AGAIN.

I heard Edwards muffled voice in subtle concerned tones, didn't suprise him,this had happened before. It was only fifth period so I guess it wouldn't matter being late or missing the final class entirely. He sat me down on his lap on a bench just outside the side doors outside the classroom , figured I needed fresh air I guess "Bella are u okay?"..."yeah I guess...I don't know what happened, I think I stood up too quickly"

"that does sound very much like you" he chuckled

my belly grumbled,I hated when it did that, it reminded me of what a greedy pig I was "fatso..." I whispered quiet enough so even he couldn't hear

"Bella I think u need something to eat" he suggested

"no I had a huge breakfast anyway I think anymore food would make me hurl all over you"

He was easily convinced, I don't think the idea of being spewed on sounded too appealing to him

"wanna go home?" He asked me gently

"NO!... I mean..no thankyou"I corrected myself, I needed to stay, I needed to punish myself for worrying Edward and making such a scene, school bathrooms being the only place I could escape his watchful eye

He looked at me confused but let it go, I guess we were already past the fact I was a little sporadic with my emotions

we walked over to gym...yay..we parted ways as I left into the changing rooms, I lifted my shirt and heard girls snicker, Lauren and Jessica inducing the judgement... they were definitely calling me fat..can't blame them

EPOV

'oh em gee Lauren look over there but not at the same time'

'eeew what the fuck shes looks like that skeleton model in bio'

'oh my god I know right!! How can she change infront of everyone looking like THAT'

they both snickered in unbearable nasally voices about my Bella, they were hags compared to her! I was absolutely infuriated

"something funny?" I coldly asked

shit he is sooo hot how could Bella get picked by him??

"oh Heyy..Edward yeah we were just saying how uncomfortable the..uh...gym uniforms are!!!

"Bella's looks so gorgeous today..don't you think so?

"oh uh yeah.. totally gorgeous.." she rolled her eyes at Jessica "she's a lucky girl ya know?" Lauren snickered nervously

"I consider myself the lucky one, although if you think she's so gorgeous then what was the reason for those comments you and Jessica made minutes before?"

they stood in complete stillness, speechlessness

"as I suspected...dogs the both of you."

I felt the sting the last comment left on them, then Jessica welling up, 'what the hell was that?' I asked myself, I didn't usually invest my time in any other students,other than Bella of course, let alone confront them like that?!

I was so angry with myself but more so angry at them, their jealousy towards Bella was centred mostly around me, I was the reason she faced such criticism from girls

I finally met Bella in corner of the gym

BPOV

Edward was over there, talking to Jessica and Lauren, they were prettier, that was no news to me Edward was probably trying to search for a better girl, not that he'd need to look hard, he couldn't get rid of me...

"I'm sorry you had to hear those things they said Bella..."

what? What did he say to them?!?

"it's fine..."

coach clapped blew his whistle, startling me, then quickly announced "badminton!! You know the drill,pick a partner!"

like I needed to look around for one, Edward was already stool there ready to serve by the time I turned around

I played very poorly, fell down almost every time...Edward eventually gave up on taking turns to serve after I somehow flicked the shuttlecock right into my own face , that made him laugh...haha..

"one sec ill be right back!" I said with a peppy tone

I walked solemnly into the bathroom and removed the blade from under the sock liner of my converse and began to cut

at first they were shallow and red, then they were white.i immediately cleaned up my mess, happy with myself, I'd payed the price and now I was free of guilt.I folded my long sleeve undershirt over the cuts and instinctively put my blade in my pocket, I returned to a patient Edward who looked a little confused

"why's your scent stronger? Is something wrong?"

"oh no haha don't be silly just uh...lady's troubles!!"

I lied. I couldn't remember the last time I menstruated

to be honest, I said that as a first thought because usually whenever a guy questions you, and your answer even slightly involves the words "lady's troubles" they'd usually wanna hear no more, but Edward seemed to dwell on it, as if he didn't accept my answer

"I'll be just a second" Edward told me

"okay, I'll be outside" i didn't question him, he probably thought me too clingy already