A/N: Finally updating. I don't know what it is about this story that is so hard for me to write for at the moment. It's my most read/ reviewed story but I feel stuck. Anyways, here's around 3000 words of Carlisle and Bella bonding just for you. Thanks for sticking around and please review!

If I Get Burned - Chapter 18 - Like Paper

"And I'm just getting color back into my face. . ."

So Long London - Taylor Swift

Bella's POV:

I was excited to look through the bookstore before we headed back home. I haven't been to one since that ill-fated trip to Port Angeles when I was trying to figure out their secret.

I heard of the concept before but the fact you couldn't judge the book on anything more than the summary had me wanting to read every one.

"Have you read anything good lately?" Dad asked, offering to take the few books I was deciding between and struggling to hold.

"Um, no, not really," I answered, not meeting his eyes. I don't know why I would be embarrassed to tell him the truth.

"Rereading the classics? Is Wuthering Heights still your favorite?"

"No. . . I haven't really been reading much of anything lately," I admit.

"Any particular reason? I know you've always loved it."

I meet his eyes but quickly look away. "It. . . It was hard, after Edward left I mean. Romance was hard to stomach, and the classics that we had read together were hard, too. It wasn't enjoyable for a while but I've had renewed interest I guess."

"I'm glad to hear you're finding joy in it again." I know he had been worried about my depression and I wasn't lying when I said things have been better since their return. "Are you reading anything in school right now?"

I nod, my fingers trailing along the spines on the shelf. "We're almost finished with the unit on The Great Gatsby."

When we both had a few books in hand we went to sit in the coffee shop portion of the store. Carlisle got me a hot chocolate and a tea for himself that he had no intention of drinking.

"Still British I see." I joke, unable to keep the smile from my face.

"Old habits die hard, it seems." He chuckled. "I didn't even realize until you brought it up."

I watched as he dropped the tea bag into his cup, waiting for my own drink to cool off.

"Are you a fan of tea?" He asked.

I quickly shook my head. "I can't stand it, never have, really. Every time I've had to consume it, it has been with great reluctance." I told him. "Do you miss food and eating?"

"I can't remember partaking in either but it is such an integral part of the human experience that at times I feel as if I'm missing out."

"Is it hard to hide it at work, eating I mean?"

"I like to think I am good at hiding it. It isn't hard to pretend to drink a covered cup of coffee on late nights and early mornings. Otherwise, I take my lunch to my office where I don't have to act."

"Huh," I say as I contemplate his reply.

We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes after that exchange. Few relationships could survive the silence. Charlie and I were good at it. I felt the same feeling of contentment with Carlisle as we both looked at our books.

"Dad, I just want to say that I'm sorry."

Not knowing what I referenced, he asked, "What are you sorry for, Sweetheart?"

"I didn't mean to seem ungrateful earlier, at the bank. I really do appreciate everything you, Mom and the family have both done for me."

"Sweetheart, not once have Esme or I thought you ungrateful. It means so much to us that you are feeling comfortable enough to be honest about how you feel."

"You are family to all of us. So if we decide to take care of some things for you, it is not because you are some charity, it is because you are our sister and our daughter. We love you, Sweetheart."

"It's hard at times. We never had much when I was growing up, my mom was a kindergarten teacher and my dad was a cop in a small town. He paid child support but still. I'm not used to it. I'm working on it but it's still hard for me."

"You are a part of our family. What's ours is yours."

It was a strange thought, that Carlisle and Esme wanted me to spend money. . . that I could buy things that I needed and not feel guilty. I'd never really bought myself stuff, besides the motorcycle. I got clothes when mine didn't fit or were worn out, though usually I just borrowed Renee's clothes. I bought groceries for the house with the money Charlie set aside in the kitchen for me to use. But that was it.

"Do you understand our end of things?"

"I think I do," I admitted, not 100% sure.

"While we consider you just as much our child as Edward and your siblings, we also want to give you a sense of security. When we left previously we left you with no way to contact or find us, something we regret deeply because of how hurt you were and how close it came to having Victoria or Laurent-" he choked on his words, unable to continue. "It is important to us that, though we assure you that this will never happen again, if something did happen, you could find us."

"Can I ask you another question?"

"I'm an open book for you, Sweetheart. What do you want to know?"

It's a full 180 from where we were but the thought came to me and I had to ask. "Why-" I pause, not sure how to word the thoughts in my head. "Why did you stay with the Volturi after you knew what they were like and what they were doing?" It seemed clear that Jasper and Carlisle had a very different opinion on the supposed rulers of the vampire world.

I still don't understand how Dad, this kind compassionate man, could have spent any amount of time with these terrifying creatures, let alone look back on those years fondly.

"The world I came from, the creatures lived underground and only came out at night. When I met the brothers, it was like night and day. All of a sudden there they were, much more educated and refined than those living in the sewers of London. It opened my eyes that there was more to this life than what I had known. I stayed with them for around two decades before coming here. That is where I met Eleazar of the Denali Coven. He is like a brother to me. They are all excited to meet you."

"He was a part of the Volturi?"

"He was a member of the guard."

"Why?" I couldn't picture anyone who could be a part of that as someone worthy of calling family.

"He has a gift the brothers found valuable." He continued before I could ask. "He has the ability to sense the special talents of others. His job was to detect if any threatening coven had members with extra gifts and then pass that knowledge along to Aro. He would also be sent around the world to look for any human or vampire with useful talents to add to the coven. He was a gentle and compassionate person by nature, so he wasn't entirely happy with their methods, but he felt he was serving the greater good by working with those who would uphold the law."

I didn't know how to respond to that, any of it.

He could read my face and thankfully changed the subject. "Have you ever been to the Sound, Bella?"

My eyebrows crinkled, "the Sound of what?"

He smiled. "The Sound. It's the bay here." He stood up, took our bags of books, and offered me his hand. "I find it relaxing and try to make it there every time I visit the city."

It isn't a far drive from the bookstore. I grab my sketchbook from the car before we walk down to the bay. It was small, fitting in the small purse/ backpack Alice gave me. I wasn't very good at drawing, but I tried. It was more for my personal enjoyment.

Carlisle watches me as I flip to a new page. He took her sketch pad off my lap, "may I?"

I rolled my eyes because it was obvious now where Edward got his high-handedness from, because Carlisle didn't wait for my permission, but was paging through my pad.

I sat back and watched him. He took his time and looked at each one, passing a comment or asking a question every once in a while.

"You are very talented, Bella," Carlisle commented.

"Thank you," my cheeks heated at his words.

"You should show your mother, she'd love to see your artwork."

"I'm not anywhere as good as she and Alice are," I say, unable to meet his eyes.

"You don't see yourself clearly, Honey. You are immensely talented." Dad said.

"Can you keep a secret?"

He put his arm around me, scoffing. "I can keep a secret, Little One."

"I had this idea. Edward, Alice, and I are working on a present for Mom, since the holidays are coming up soon. It's a scrapbook with pictures and drawings of us all as kids, obviously, we can't find pictures of everyone. It's a big job but that's why we started so early."

"How?" He was intrigued.

"Edward's helping with that part. He's looking into everyone's mind when they think about their human life and uses that to try to make it as accurate as possible if we can't find any actual pictures." I told him. "We've been able to find a few, but not everyone."

"She's going to love that." His eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled as he was pulling me tighter into his side.

The air was crisp yet warm, summer bleeding into fall. We stood at the water looking out. There was something about the water that made everything fresh and new, no matter how much debris was in its path.

My eyes watched the boats as they glided through the water.

"Have you ever been on a ferry?"

"No."

"Come," Dad replied, his arm around my shoulders as he guided us in the direction of the dock.

The car was parked, and all of our purchases were inside as we moved away from it. "Where are we going?"

"We are going to take a trip around the Sound." The ticket counter came up soon and Carlisle asked for two round trip tickets, paying for it before leading me to a sitting area where we would wait for this boat to finish unloading.

"The Sound?"

"That's the name of the bay. There were times when your mother and I came here just to ride and watch the boats. It reminds me of New York City."

"I don't think I've ever been on a boat, well not including Charlie's little fishing boat when he used to force me to come along when I was a child."

"Is that so? It's hard to imagine a time before trains and planes but I came over to America on a boat."

"Why didn't you just swim? Wouldn't that have been faster?"

He nods. "Yes it would have been, but I wasn't in a rush. I had no idea what would await me when I got here and didn't have a destination in mind."

"Where did you live when you first got here?" His life was fascinating and I felt like I couldn't know enough.

He stood up, offering me his hand when our boarding group was called. "Let's see," he starts as we take our seats on the upper deck outside where we can watch the water and feel the wind on our faces. We settled under the covering of the deck above us so we wouldn't be hit by the light rain that had started up again. He took off his jacket, folding it in half and lying it over the back of his chair. We were by ourselves on this deck, at no risk of anyone overhearing. "Where were we?" He started again before answering his own question. "I came to America in the late 1700s to the early 1800s. I landed in New York City. I decided to continue my education at King's College here in New York."

"King's college. . . isn't that Columbia?"

He nods. "This is true. The name changed in the 1780s after America won the war but the old name stuck around for some time after."

"Where did you go after that?"

"I traveled around a bit, and made friends with nomads I met along the way before settling in a small town in Maine. A few years later I moved to Ohio where I met your mother."

"And then Chicago and Wisconsin?"

"You've heard this part of the story before," he smiled as he joked. My face mirrored his.

The seagulls squawked as they flew past, searching for discarded food to steal.

"Have you ever been to New York, Sweetheart?"

I shake my head. "I think we flew through there when we went to Italy but running through JFK was the extent of it."

"I think you'd love it, the history, the museums and the Library there. We can take a ferry to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. We'll all go sometime. I think we're all due for a vacation." He promised.

"I'm still grounded from my last vacation, Dad." I laughed.

"Maybe after graduation, then."

"I'd like that."

"Speaking of graduation," he started. "I want to talk to you about your change, what will happen and life following."

I nodded. "Okay."

"Is there anything you want to know about before we get into any specifics? You can ask me anything, Sweetheart."

"Edward, I don't think he wants me to know."

"I am aware but you have a right to know. It is your life, not his, and he can't protect you from the truth."

"So my, um, change. What's going to happen?" The imminent plans have never been far from my mind.

"What are you referring to, specifically?"

I look up at him as he holds my hand across the table.

"The venom. . . Are you going to. . . I'm worried about the pain, I guess." I can't word my thoughts together coherently.

"I plan to inject you with morphine. I don't know if it will work but it's worth a shot if it will dull your pain even slightly." He says.

I nod with a grimace.

"What's on your mind?" He can read me like an open book.

"D-Don't tell Edward, I don't want to hurt him."

"This is just between you and I, I promise."

"It won't work, the morphine. I've had venom and morphine in my system at the same time before, at the ballet studio. . . It didn't help." I admit. "I'll try it but I don't have high hopes. . . Just don't tell Edward. I don't want to add to his pain, watching me." I told him.

His eyebrows furrow as he ponders my words.

"I know any pain I have will be worth it, Dad, since I can be with all of you forever."

"I'd still like to try the morphine, a stronger dose than what you had at the time, and possibly a sedative."

"You think I could sleep through it?"

"Some of it, hopefully. And Jasper will be there as well to offer what help he can with your emotions."

I nod, thankful he's thought through this.

The next question pops into my mind. "The venom. . . Will I just lay down in my bed and wait for you to bite me?" It's hard to say the words with a straight face. "Or will you inject the venom like you said you would the morphine?"

"The closer the venom is to your heart the quicker it is able to spread. I'm planning on injecting your heart and your extremities. The pain will be worse in the beginning, instead of slowly spreading like what happened with your hand, but it'll be over quicker."

"How long will it take? Edward said three days? Or four?" If the incident at the ballet studio had been any indication, the pain would be unbearable. 'But remember what comes after.' Forever. Forever with my family. That's why I was doing this.

"There's no exact set time frame. Usually, it takes three days but I'm hopeful that with more venom it'll be over quicker." He tells me.

It would hurt. A lot. It was, according to my family minus Alice, the worst pain they'd ever suffered, and something I would apparently never forget.

Still, my decision was made. "I can take it."

"There is no doubt in my mind that you can take it, you're incredibly strong, brave, and stubborn," he finished with a smile. "I just want to remind you that you don't have to. Vampire or not, you are a part of this family. Nothing can ever change that."

I'm starting to believe him.

"Time.

Doesn't it give some perspective?"

But Daddy I Love Him - Taylor Swift

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. I wanted to thank you for sticking around even though I am terrible at updating this and mention that I have another new story called "Hell Was The Journey" if you want to check it out. Most of it has already been written so updates will be more frequent there.

The summary: Fleeing her abusive stepfather and mother, Bella escapes to Forks where a car accident kills her father on her first night there. It would have killed her, too, if not for the doctor who saved her with a bite. Bella, now a vampire, has a second chance at life (or death) with a new family she never knew she wanted yet desperately needed. HEA BxE TW: Abuse

And I have one question, not really related to this, but has anyone had a message on your account page about not getting notifications to their email because their email rejected it? It said to add fanfiction to your email so you keep getting notifications but even after doing that I am still not getting anything. I tried changing to a different email and still nothing on the notification front. Is anyone having this same problem or know how to fix it?