Anon's point of view:
'I sure do love my goth ptero girlfriend, and I love walking home with her after school.' I think.
As we finish descending the steps down to the street's sidewalk in front of the school, a car rolls up into my peripheral vision, then comes to a stop.
"Hey, skinny!" I hear before being pelted in the head with something soft and slightly damp. I turn my head towards a car full of raptors I don't recognize, underclassmen, look like. I stumble and recover as the thing falls to the ground.
" I didn't know you were fucking the aspie bitch too! Won't your emo girlfriend be jealous?" The one that threw it yells while hanging out of the driver's side window.
"What the fuck?" I mutter, looking at them with confusion, my hand brushing over where I got hit, feeling a light wetness left behind.
The emo girlfriend in question lets go of my arm, teeth bared and talon out, and begins stomping towards the car.
"Oh shit!" I hear the punk yelp before ducking back into the car and recklessly slamming the gas, swerving into traffic.
"You better run, bitch!" Fang yells as the car speeds off.
I watch as Fang's feathers begin to unbristle; she turns back to me, her sneer fading. She then looks at my feet and stops. I follow her gaze. At my feet is a filthy hand puppet? And it looks like me? Down to the bald head and green jacket. But it looks like it's been run over, soot and or oil streak the fabric.
As I reach down and grab it with two fingers, I feel it's also damp. From what I assume was a couple trips around the toilet bowl.
"Ew," I say, letting it drop.
Fang kneels down next to it to inspect the thing.
"What the hell is this thing?" Fang asks.
"It looks like one of those Sesame Street puppets."
"Puppet? Why the fuck is there a puppet that looks like you, Anon?" Fang questions me as if I have deep knowledge of what's going on.
I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. The images of voodoo dolls and effigies made in a person's likeness to place curses upon come to mind. Who would want to do that wiccan shit to me, though? Trish? Voodoo is a trike thing, right? That racist trigger!
In the time it took for all that to happen the strange doll seemed to gain a small audience of students standing around to gawk at the thing.
"Uh…" Someone pushed their way to the front of the crowd and addressed me and Fang. "I'll take that off you, if you don't mind." It was a compsognathus I didn't recognize with wild eyes and some kind of horned hat. Her cheeks were already blushed, but she looked more annoyed than anything.
"This is yours?" I ask, my eyebrow raised high.
"No… but I know whose it is." She says she holds her hand out, expecting me to hand it over.
"Mind telling me why this 'somebody' has a fuckin' voodoo doll of me, then?" I ask in my most accusatory way.
She looks around flustered, mindful of the crowd. She chews her words for a moment before jerking her head towards the front door of the school.
I look at Fang, who seems as intrigued as I am, so we follow her into the nearly deserted school. She leads us to a room I've never been into before. The place is filled with what I would classify as grade school arts and crafts.
She pulled out a seat at one of the tables and motioned for Fang and me to sit. I set the wet puppet of myself at the end of the table and sit down next to Fang.
"So… Uhg, I'm not sure where to begin…" The girl starts, taking a minute to try to collect her thoughts.
She then proceeds to tell us her name is Schizo (bullshit) and the puppet belongs to her friend Judee. Then had to spend another five minutes trying to make us realize who she was talking about, as neither of us had ever noticed her.
She goes on to explain the puppet pals club, the fact that Judee typically carries some around with her at all times, and from what Judee told her earlier, she spilled her spaghetti (almost literally) all over the classroom floor this morning and in her rush to run away and hide, dropped the puppet that was thrown so elegantly against my head a few minutes ago.
"Okay…. But that doesn't explain why she has a puppet of ME!" I say.
Schizo slaps her snout and drags her hand down her face. She looks over at the closed door and shifts in her seat, leaning across the table.
"Alright look, I don't wanna talk about people's personal problems, but it's kinda out of the bag now. And I'm wanting you to take what I tell you now and help this "situation". "she uses air quotes to emphasize.
"I'm telling you this in confidence, so It better not spread around any more than this, alright?!" She points at the air in a threatening way. I see her eyes slide over to Fang, who simply lifts an eyebrow at her… After a couple seconds of staring at one another and Schizo relents with a swallow.
"Judee is…. Special." She continues. "Not like retarded, she is smart and sweet, but… different is all. She's awkward and doesn't get social cues from people, you know? The puppets, I think, are kind of like a coping mechanism. Something that calms her down, a way to think things through by talking to them."
"She talks to herself?" Fang interrupts.
Schizo shoots her a glare, and Fang cringes in response.
"So…. Again, why me?" I ask, becoming impatient.
"Well… It's a new thing. Making puppets of real people." Schizo rubs the back of her neck. "But from what I can tell, from what I have seen when she is…. 'Rehearsing'. I think… She might have…" Schizo stalls. Then sighs, before continuing. "Developed a little bit of a crush on you."
'Oh god.' I think to myself. 'I'm so much of a sperg I attracted the actual autist?'
"So… Now that you know, I told you all that because I want you to let her down gently, you know? She deals with enough bullying already. I can't imagine how devastated she would be if she got her heart broken too…" Schizo has genuine worry in her voice.
'So, now, through no fault of my own for once, It's my job to break an autistic girl's heart? This is some bullshit.' I think glumly to myself.
I look over to Fang who looks to be deciphering several emotions at once. From what I know about Fang it looks like jealousy, pity, laughter, and sadness all rolled into one. She eventually settles before speaking again.
"Any, uh, suggestions on how exactly to do that?" Fang asks.
"Well, I can give you some advice for speaking with her, I guess. But as to how to turn her down… not really." Schizo sighs, leaning back in the chair.
"Alright, let's hear it," I say.
She tells us how Judee is easy to over-excite, and when overstimulated, she may just shut down or lash out. Tells us to talk soft and a bit slower than normal. It really feels like she is teaching us how to talk to a wild animal, not her friend. Schizo offers us a couple of the backup sock puppets.
"What are these for?" Fang asks, unwilling to accept.
"If it gets really bad, you may need to talk to her with these," Schizo explains.
"Oh fuck no!" Fang protests, crossing her arms.
"That… doesn't make sense," I question Schizo.
"Sometimes, it's easier for her to talk through a couple layers of obfuscation. You know, like she's not talking to you, Corky is talking to Buttons." She shakes the puppet in her left hand to indicate 'Corky' and then her right to indicate 'Buttons.'
"That's…. Kind of retarded." I say.
Schizo stabs me in the heart with her icy glare.
"But, I'll take them just in case, thanks." I follow up and accept the sock puppets.
I examine the puppets. There is nothing particularly special about them, but they are cute, I guess.
"I'll take care of that." Schizo motions to the filthy puppet of me at the end of the table. "Try to clean him up for Judee."
"Alright… So, I don't really know how to go about this…" I admit.
"I will run damage control tomorrow with her, And uh, when you are ready, I can tell her to meet up with me somewhere private; I'll tell you where, and you can do it there. Sound good?" Schizo suggests.
"Sure, I guess. When?" I shrug at her.
"Tomorrow? Maybe later, let the other kids cool off on it for a while… I assume tomorrow is gonna be rough for her already…" Schizo sighs.
With that 'business' taken care of, Fang and I leave, heading back home. After we leave the school grounds, Fang suddenly starts to giggle.
"What?" I ask her
"Just this whole situation. Who would ever get a crush on YOU?" she teases.
"Hm, I wonder. An emo girl, I guess?" I jab back
"I am NOT emo!" She pushes me playfully.
"But I think it's kind of funny that she talks to herself with the puppets. Maybe you have more in common with her than you thought." Fang muses.
"Huh? Are you calling me an autist?"
"Maybe the mumbling was a red flag I missed this whole time." Fang grins at me.
I squint my eyes at her.
"Relax. I guess you need to figure out the best way to turn down a girl now. Ha! I'm sure you never thought about that before." Fang said.
"And what's THAT supposed to mean?" I ask.
"I mean, You know, if a girl confessed to you like a year ago, I assume you would jump at the chance to get a girlfriend." Fang continues
"Do I come off as that desperate? Just take anything I can get?" I ask.
"Yes." Fang laughs.
"...This is going to suck," I complain.