Today seems to be a good day. Well, or so he seemed from the window of my room this morning. The sun, soft white clouds floating across a spacious light blue sky. At the same time, it is not at all hot, even slightly cool, especially because of the wind, which increases and then fades for a while. It feels a little different on the street during the day.
I wish I could walk through this world on my own two feet, just like in Aincrad for the last two years. However, my body is still not back to normal right now. At best, I can stand on my feet for a minute, but I definitely need to lean on something, otherwise I will definitely fall. The legs are shaking, the fingers on them seem to wilfully contract from the pain spreading through the footsteps with amazing speed. Also, we must not forget about the hands, which with obvious reluctance allow me to hold any things, moreover, only a small size and obviously not for as long as I would like.
I'm still having a hard time getting used to using the phone. It would seem that this is almost like a menu in SAO, and I had to do it before, but the result is completely different, especially since you need to strain so much. And my sister Suguha does not help at all, but only calls me almost every day, and several times. I know it's pretty sweet and all that, but I could have been more restrained.
Anyway, I'm not in the hospital right now. True, of course, I will return there soon, but, as the staff stated, I will most likely be discharged soon. My family is looking forward to it, especially my sister, so I won't have to worry too much about anything. However, of course, you will have to follow the prescribed medications and attend physio and psychotherapy courses. I still doubt the need for the latter, but this man, Kikuoka, insisted on such a thing, and at first without my knowledge.
Crows circled overhead, as if accompanying me with their cawing. I'm not a bird lover, but I don't have any way to chase them away. I'm not even standing on my feet right now, but I'm sitting and peacefully allowing myself to be exported along a longitudinal high-quality natural stone path. There are small monuments with different names on the left and right, but I don't know any of them, although I try to pick out each name in an attempt to find the right one.
– Is this the place, Kazuto-kun?
We stopped right in front of a small tombstone, where several flowers with purple and white petals still lie. I won't say that I understand colors, but it looks pretty nice to me. It can be noted that the tombstone has been standing not so long ago, and even it seems to be cared for, maintained in good condition. There are traces of light moisture on the stone, apparently from the funeral rites. It looks like we came just after someone had already been here. Family members or others... no, probably just family.
– Kazuto-kun?
– Yes...
Staring at the simple grave, I realized that I had almost stopped hearing the outside world, and only some indistinct sounds resembling the chirping of unknown birds and the cawing of crows reached my consciousness. But it was as if I was under a dense cover of fabric, as if I was immersed in work or play, not noticing anything around me. The distinctness of only one sound was true to me at that moment-the beating of my own heart, which was beating a little more calmly at first than it is right now. However, my heart rate immediately accelerated as my eyes carefully read the symbols over and over again.
– Is it really her..?
With the last of my strength, I asked this question to Kikuoka, who accompanied me. I can't help but notice how tense all the cells of my body seem to be in such a long wait for his response. Although he spoke almost immediately, I still needed some time to accept and digest the exact words of this man.
– As far as I can tell. This is the name specified in the database. The girl under the game nickname Sachi should be buried here.
沙 早
織 見
(Hayami Saori)
So that's what her name… was. Sachi never told me her real name. Although almost no one did, even considering my weak circle of acquaintances. Only Asuna, Argo, Klein... although I'm not sure I remember his name correctly. Anyway, it just means that I won't have to visit too many graves. Especially since the last two are still alive.
– Huh...
I suddenly found myself thinking about it more systematically than I should. Since when do I have to do this, huh? No, I have to. I definitely have to visit all the burial sites of those with whom I was familiar. Except I expected the others to be with Sachi...
But even so...
Why everything had to go wrong...
I never intended to join the guild...
I didn't want to teach newbies...
I didn't like watching people die at all...
Keita...
Tetsuo...
Ducker...
Sasamaru...
And Sachi.
They all died due to my carelessness and oversight..!
I felt the moisture sprinkle my trousers. However, it's not raining, and I can hardly see anything. My eyes are stinging, it hurts to look, my soul is so lousy that I want to run away and hide in some small dark corner. But I can't get up, I can't run, I can't even close my eyes properly, because my gaze is focused only on that name...
Not only did our moments together bite into my memory, but also the letter that I received from her posthumously...
– Saori...
Would she be offended if she knew that I called her by her first name without permission..? Perhaps it's worth at least addressing her as Hayami, so as not to seem like an irreverent asshole who never managed to save her..!
I grabbed weakly at my own hair in a half-hearted attempt to pull it out, but I barely felt the pain. I'm so weak and pathetic that I can't even hurt myself.
– I think... w-we can move on.
My voice sounded extremely weak to me. I felt the same way as soon as I left Aincrad. What an unpleasant feeling. And, of course, being a piece of shit like me is also not particularly pleasant, although it's already somehow familiar.
– Sure.
Kikuoka did not show any emotion and did not ask a single question, for which I am somewhat grateful. And we drove peacefully towards the exit. It is strange that in this case we have come so far, if we could have stopped a little earlier at first. These thoughts slowly and oppressively tormented me until we almost left the cemetery.
– W-wait..!
After this slight splash, our movement immediately stopped. I turned my head slightly to the side, just to catch a glimpse of the person I was going to talk to out of the corner of my eye.
– Has something happened? Did I drive you too fast?
– No, that's not... Why are we leaving? After all, we only visited...
– I forgot to mention, didn't I? The ones whose nicknames you called. Ducker, Tetsuo and Sasamaru. They were buried together in another cemetery. As far as I can tell, it was the initiative of their families, as they apparently knew each other pretty well.
This... It makes sense. They said that everyone in the real world was well acquainted with each other. Unsurprisingly, their families also had some idea of such a connection. Although there is still a wild discrepancy in the situation.
– Without Sachi... that is, Saori... mm.. Hayami...
– Well, I can't say anything about that anymore. The reasons are unknown to me.
Well, the situations here can be extremely different. I do not even know what assumption could be the most obvious justification for such a situation. Apparently, it hurts more to think about it.
But something suddenly popped into my head just as instantly. And I immediately turned to his words. After all, Kikuoka only mentioned three names, not counting Hayami.
– ... Wait a minute! What about Keita?!
– After cremation, his ashes were taken to his homeland, Obihido in Hokkaido. I'm sorry, but we won't be able to visit him today.
– I get it...
Hah, guys, getting to you all is much more difficult than it seems.
– However, when you are discharged from the hospital, I will try to arrange this trip for you.
– I doubt that the family will be able to let me go in this case.
Knowing only one of my sisters, I can say that. And if my parents also get involved in it, then I feel like they won't let me out of the house at all.
– Then I would arrange this trip for all of you. Oh, really, we'll have to wait a while.
That would be quite enough. This is not the first time this man has spent time with me. I'm not even sure why. My story about the events in SAO has already ended for him more than a week ago, but we still see each other again and again. I did not dare to ask, and even now the situation is not conducive to this. Anyway, there's something else that worries me.
– Kikuoka-san.
– Mm? What is it, Kazuto-kun?
– Thank you.
I would have bowed if I could have stood up and turned around, but instead I had to use only words. Although it doesn't seem to bother him much. He received my sincere, but so simple words with amazing cordiality.
– Nothing to be grateful for.
– Well hey, dad.
– Tomo.
He tried to smile, but it seemed that under my gaze it quickly became some kind of forced smile. I examined his face, noticing the almost erased trace of red lipstick on his left cheek, and my attentive eyes did not help at all.
– How are you?
– How? Yes, it seems.. normal.
At first I wanted to say that everything was lousy, but I restrained myself. If you think about it, the situation is not the worst. Well, objectively speaking, everything is even good, better than it could be, but it's not enough. I've been lying in bed for weeks now, getting up from time to time either for personal hygiene or for physical therapy. And, honestly, both reasons do not justify the expenditure of energy and nerves that are spent on them.
That's not why I was on the verge of life and death for two years, to feel almost disabled. And the idea that almost six thousand other people across Japan feel the same way now doesn't help at all.
– And how are you?
– I often think about you. I mean, I used to think about you all the time too, but I still don't stop now.
When I looked at his faintly noticeable lipstick mark, I shuddered. The reason for this immediately popped into my mind. And at the same time, he says that he always thinks about me. Yeah, of course.
– And how is Sato-san?
My father's face twisted slightly, probably because of the way I mentioned her name. Even on the first day he came, he immediately said what had changed in these two years.
– Tomo...
I lazily shifted my eyes directly to him, helping him finish his thought with my clear gaze. I feel like I already know what he's going to say. Well, it's obvious, because it was my monotonous actions that brought everything to this point.
– She's a Hosaka now too, you know.
Well, I guessed the meaning in advance. Success, apparently. Although I don't feel good about it. But this is also the change. Once she went with the surname Sato, but now...
– Tsk...
I only managed to click my tongue in response, but the meaning of this is much more than it seems at first glance. The old man was able to capture my frustration especially well with this. He always had a lack of perception of signals, so I usually had to act actively to express irritation and similar feelings.
Unfortunately, I can't break a vase or do anything like that right now, not only because of my physical condition, but also because we're inside the walls of a city hospital. I would not like to spoil the property and disturb the staff, because they really care about me here. Clearly better than my own family.
– Mm... She also said that she would like to visit you... If you don't mind, of course.
Yes, the first time I met him, he said something similar. It was lucky that she couldn't come that time because of something I had already forgotten about. And I don't care, to be honest.
– No.
– ... Mm.. I understand.
He nodded slowly and tried to change the subject.
– Uh.. Anyway, Arasaka-san said that they can already discharge you. Your condition is good and only improvements are expected. You will only need to attend physical therapy sessions.
Of course, I knew about it. Luckily for me, my eyes opened after I turned sixteen. Of course, this does not give me any authority regarding my life, but at least not everyone around me treats me like a child, especially considering that I have survived in a deadly world, even if it is a game.
I was told that if I wanted, I could be taken away from here. However, I honestly would like to stay. Although, of course, this choice may well be made for me.
– You've obviously forgotten that I'm going to have to use a wheelchair. And also take medications to maintain the health of the body in a growing and good condition.
And that's just one reason. I would like to leave this hospital on my own two feet, and not with someone's help, taking into account my own disability. And I don't care how soon it happens, I really can't imagine myself as a pathetic rat with a minimum of movement... although it sounds quite symbolic.
– Uh... I see, so you already knew, right?
– Yeah.
And why does he look like I said something soothing to him?
– I understand. Then I'll go and let you know.-
– I don't think I said yes, of course, or something like that.
He stopped on the threshold at the door, clearly confused and surprised by my almost direct words of refusal.
– Tomo?
– My goddess Eris... I want to stay here.
Quietly praying to only one Goddess I know, I expressed my honest wish to him. His face immediately formed either a strangely painful or overly shocked expression. He seems to have a tic in his right eye. Although maybe it's just my fantasy.
– In the hospital..?
It takes him so long to get it.
– That's right.
– But, Tomo..!
– I want to leave here as a human being! And even more so, I'm not going back to the house where I've been replaced now!
– Replaced? I would never, Tomo. You're my daughter, what are you talking about?
Well, is it possible to forget things like that? Even I'm not that dumb when it comes to the obvious!
– Sato is yours, Sato is mine, Sato here and there. You've been talking about her nonstop before, and now that I've returned two years later, she already bears our last name!
– I-I...
– You also have a lipstick mark on your cheek." She left, didn't she? I'm already disgusted to watch, I'll be honest.
He wiped the lipstick off his cheek almost immediately, but still couldn't find anything to say. Maybe I shouldn't have done this to him, but it really pisses me off. Not just annoying, but really and irrevocably gets in the throat.
– I'm sorry, Tomo... You've never been against it.
– I was just silent. Now I understand that it was in vain. You swore to me that you loved only one woman in your life! And now it's not like that?! Did you forget that you were married to my mom, you BASTARD?!
– ...
He looked away and stared at the empty white wall. My breathing has already quickened and my heart rate has accelerated. Oh, such a load made my chest ache... Phew, I need to calm down, I'm just freaking out now and ruining my health.
But while I was trying to structure my thoughts, my father's phone suddenly rang, and he finally seemed to pull himself together. He hesitated for a few seconds and decided to answer the call anyway.
– Yes?.. I'm not sure. Maybe by the evening?.. Now? I'm...
He looked at me as if with pity or something similar, so I returned my most intimidating gaze to him. Which almost caused my father to stumble on the spot. Wuss.
– ... I'll be there soon.
Hm.
– I'm sorry, Tomo. Work.
– Yeah.
I have enough work to do too. Some person from the ministry or the cybersecurity department is supposed to come to me today with questions about SAO. I hope I can get something out of him about Key Bow. After all, someone of their level should know something, unlike the leader of the Furinkazan guild, who gave me almost no information.
Although it's strange that he didn't say anything about Aa-chan, but just walked away from the answer. We'll have to find out.
– How is my gorgeous bride-to-be doing?
In a place hidden behind a lot of clouds and tree branches, there is a large silver cage. And in the silvery cage itself, a young girl shrank. She didn't even pay attention to the question asked by the man with the elf ears. Although a faint tremor went through her almost completely naked body, indicating at least some kind of reaction to the presence or voice of another living being.
– ...
She silently sat down and hugged her knees to her chest, also burying her pretty face in them. Her long light silver hair gently stretched in all directions around her, and her brown eyes seemed to have only dimmed more, even compared to what happened yesterday and even more so to how it was the day before yesterday.
– Come on, say something. I came after all. I even left work early, and it's so cold outside in the real world in the late afternoon. Just think, winter barely made itself felt, and already such an effect.
– ...
The girl did not even know that winter was coming soon or that it had already arrived. In this place, she had lost track of time enough days ago.
– Okay, I understand. Preparing for an engagement and a wedding is a matter not only for the two of us, but also for each of us individually. Just know that my inner world has been revealed for a long time and has been waiting for you almost since the first day of our meeting!
And he left. But the young girl couldn't breathe out calmly alone at all. His hands only trembled more violently, trying to press his knees closer to his body. She seemed to want to hide, but it was so difficult in such an open cage, where you can be looked at from the outside as much as you want and from wherever you want.
First the horrors of Aincrad with two years of fear and oppression, and now weeks of captivity in some new full-fledged virtual reality, where an elf harasses you, considering his future slave wife.
– Just kill me already...