Hi guys! I'm going on hiatus for my Harry Potter fanfic currently, cause there's a lot of Naruto ideas bouncing around in my head, and writing fanfic for Harry Potter while reading Naruto severely delays both fanfictions. Don't worry, though. The only way I'll never finish "We're Not Suck-Ups" is if I die.
As his soul began to enter the stomach of the Shinigami, Sarutobi Hiruzen began to see his life. He realized that this was what they called one's 'life flashing before one's eyes'.
As he saw various moments from his life, from meeting the young Orochimaru as a child, to finding out who his genin team was going to be, to celebrating Jiraiya's first book release (he was such an enabler), to comforting Tsunade at the funerals of her lover and her brother, and now his current predicament at the hands of his own student, he felt an immense feeling of guilt and regret.
It was not for any of his students, no. All that had happened had been out of his control, for the most part. While he felt guilty for how Orochimaru turned out, Jiraiya and Tsunade had always assured him that as a group they all should have seen the signs. He felt guilty for Tsunade leaving as well, though Jiraiya had assured him that Tsunade would come back one day.
No, the main reason for his guilt was one Uzumaki Naruto. Through these visions, he saw the neglect and ostracization that Naruto had experienced. Hiruzen's heart twisted, more painfully than it ever had. He mentally scoffed at himself.
"I'm called the Third Hokage, the Professor, the God of Shinobi, and yet I couldn't even let one child have a good childhood. Oh, Naruto, how I wish I'd been there for you! How I wish you'd had a better childhood!"
Hiruzen knew that he would spend eternity in the Shinigami's stomach, locked in eternal battle with his predecessors, and Orochimaru…'s arms. Seriously, how would that work? Would his arms just be flopping around?
At least he'd be able to meet Minato. Again, he wondered how that would work. Would they be fighting their respective opponents and be talking at the same time?
Hiruzen realized that these were pointless thoughts. Of course he wouldn't be able to meet Minato! The Shinigami probably had different sections in his stomach!
Hiruzen chuckled weakly. He was delirious and these thoughts were a byproduct of that. He realized that his vision was blackening, and he knew that the next time he would wake up, he would be locked in an eternal battle.
Hiruzen woke up and saw white.
It wasn't pure white. As his eyes adjusted, he realized that he was in an office. Everything in the office was pure white, like the desks, the chairs, benches, sofas, though there were a few exceptions. There was a potted plant, and while the flowerpot was white, the dirt was it's normal brown and the leaves were a nice shade of green.
Suddenly he remembered where he was supposed to be. He walked up to a lady sitting at one of these desks (who was not pure white but was wearing pure white), and almost inquired as to where he was, before the assistant (as that was the only person from his life he could say that she looked like) herself spoke first.
"Shinigami-sama's stomach, how many I help you?"
"Yes, well, I think I am in the wrong place. Should I not be locked in eternal battle?"
"No sir, you are not in the wro- wait, you actually admit you should be here?" the assistant asked, surprised.
"Well, yes… I used the jutsu to summon the Shinigami to seal away my opponents."
"Oh, thank God! Nobody ever admits that they should be here! This is the first time I've had a prisoner that admits that they should be locked in eternal battle. I heard my colleague had a yellow-haired man admit that he should be here, but that was around 12 years ago! There used to be some red-haired folk that would admit that they should be here, but they were few and far between. Not all of them would admit it, too. Though I can't blame them. I'd rather be stuck at this desk for eternity than in a battle for eternity."
Hiruzen stared at the man. This was a lot to take in. He assumed the yellow-haired man that this lady was talking was Minato (he always did have nice manners) and the red-haired folk were members of the Uzumaki clan. Though with how many people he could observe working in the office, he was surprised how many people apparently knew how to summon the Shinigami.
Though apparently, the assistant could deduce what Hiruzen was thinking.
"Summoning Shinigami-sama is not the only way to get sealed in here, though it is the most painless. Additionally, it is not only your universe that we take prisoners from."
"Ah, well, I didn't think most people would know a jutsu from a now defunct clan. Must I take a ferry to get to my punishment?"
"Well, Mr…?"
"Sarutobi Hiruzen." Hiruzen supplied helpfully.
"Thank you, though we must confirm you are who you are. How did you get sealed in here?"
"Where do I start?" Hiruzen chuckled. He was an old man. Chuckling was second nature to them. "My old student summoned my two predecessors, the First and Second Hokages. To defeat them, I performed the Reaper Death Seal, sealing both the Hokage, as well as me and my student's arms."
The assistant blinked. For a few moments, all Hiruzen heard was the beeping of a few machines and the scattered talking of other assistants.
"You're the reason we have two crazy powerful people as well as a pair of flopping arms in here?!" the assistant excitedly asked.
"Yes. I'm sorry if I caused you any problems." Hiruzen apologized.
"No, no, not at all! The Shinigami loves it when super powerful people are sealed! And you just won me a bet with those flopping arms!" the assistant replied happily.
"Oh… ok" Hiruzen replied, unsure if this was good for him.
Suddenly the whole floor went quiet. The beeping, the scattered talking, even the wind that Hiruzen hadn't noticed was there, all of it went quiet. Then Hiruzen heard a voice, so quiet yet so powerful.
"So, the man responsible for the First and Second Hokages, two of the most powerful entities known to mankind, being sealed in my stomach is you."
Hiruzen peeled his eyes away from the assistant (she had nice legs) and saw the Shinigami, leaning over him. He was instantly on guard, though he knew that there was nothing he could do. There were not many things that could frighten the so-called God of Shinobi, though the Shinigami was not most things.
"Yes, Shinigami-sama," began the assistant. "This man sealed those two and the flopping arms!"
The Shinigami stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Those flopping arms were pretty powerful…"
Hiruzen was completely lost as to what was happening. Was this normal? Was this how he was to arrive at his eternal punishment? Was the Shinigami going to eat him? Was he going to use that knife in his mouth? Did he at least clean that knife?
"I just wanted to personally thank you. I haven't had someone as powerful as that First Hokage for centuries! I'll at least see you off to your punishment."
Hiruzen's only thought was that he really should have cleaned his ears in his life, because he could swear the Shinigami was thanking him. Thanking! Perish the thought!
"Well, I guess that's that, sir! If you would just place your hand here, you should be transported to your punishment."
The assistant's desk opened up to reveal a pad with a handprint which was glowing blue. In fact, this handprint was Hiruzen's exact handprint, down to the same exact scars on his palm.
Hiruzen shook his head to clear it. At least his confusion would be over once he placed his hand on that pad.
It would not.
The handprint began flashing green, and the assistant and the Shinigami looked at it curiously.
"I guess I should've expected this. A man as old as this is sure to have regrets…" said the Shinigami, deep in thought.
"What… what's wrong?" Hiruzen curiously asked.
"Rarely," the assistant answered, "There are occupants who have deep regrets, such that their time in the Shinigami's stomach is overpowered by this regret, and they recall their life during their eternal battle. This comes with it's own host of problems, so them placing their hands on this pad wipes them of those memories.
"There are some who have done good in their life, and the regret they feel is for the sins that they have committed. This is fairly par for the course. The problem arises when the occupants who meet both categories have also sealed an immensely powerful being into Shinigami-sama's stomach. These sort of people are offered a choice."
"What would that be?" asked Hiruzen.
The Shinigami took over. "They are allowed to go back to a day in their life. However, in exchange for being allowed to go back to that day and change history, they must die on that day. You may choose one of the following actions if you make this choice. You may either go back and create a different timeline, or you may experience a day in your life, without changing anything."
The Shinigami thought for a moment, and said, "And you can't go back to the day of your current death."
"And I am being offered this decision?" Hiruzen asked, skeptically. After all, it was a bit too good to be true.
"Yes. However, be warned. If you wish to change the timeline, you must deal with your past self. He will die the moment that you do. However, if you decide to kill him yourself, you will not die. Once you have died, you will arrive back to serve out your eternal punishment."
"Has anyone else been offered this? And have they accepted?"
"The yellow-haired man accepted, though he wished to experience one day again, instead of changing time. Something about wanting to keep his son alive."
"What times can I go to?"
"Here's a list of moments that would be prime for you, if you wish to change your timeline." The assistant paused for a moment. "Well that's pretty weird. With this timeline continuing as is, there's a possibility for you to change a day in the future."
Hiruzen thought for a moment. He sat down and he thought, all the while the Shinigami and the assistant watched him.
After a few moments, he stood up and looked at the Shinigami.
"If this is indeed a valid option, I know which day I wish to go back to."
The Shinigami smiled. (Though it wasn't like he had a choice. He was always smiling.)
Hiruzen had many options to go back to. He could go back to the day that his sensei died, or to the day that Orochimaru defected, or to the days before the Uchiha Clan Massacre, but he didn't think he'd be able to make much of a difference. His sensei would probably die either way, Orochimaru was an enigma, and he'd done what he could for the Uchiha clan. However, maybe his current choice would change 2 out of the 3.
He looked out of the window of the room he'd landed in, and he saw what he'd been expecting to see. It didn't make it any less terrifying. Quickly, he stood up…
And looked straight into his own eyes.
They weren't exactly his, to be fair. There was less pain, less wrinkles on the face, and most significantly, he was dressed in his battle armor.
Yes, he'd landed the day of the Kyuubi attack on the Hidden Leaf Village.
"This is not the time to be impersonating me, whoever you are. I'd kill you on the spot, but I don't have the time for this!" Past Hiruzen said, angrily.
"Wait, just hear me out!" Prime Hiruzen said, frantically. "There isn't much time! All I can tell you now is that I am you from the future, and I'm here to save Minato!"
Past Hiruzen squinted his eyes in suspicion. "How can I know you are truly who you say you are? After all, I would never say the phrase 'hear me out'."
Prime Hiruzen, having anticipated this, started to reply.
"Biwako likes to-"
"Ooooooookkkkkkaaaaaaayyyyyyy, you are definitely me. But how?" asked Past Hiruzen.
"There's no time to explain, but I have to kill you. It will not matter much to me because I will be dying in a few moments anyways."
Past Hiruzen thought for a moment, and asked, "You are truly here to save young Minato?"
"Along with his wife and his son, yes."
Hiruzen had always been a man with a good heart. He did what he did for the village, and not the way Danzo did it. The outcome that would best serve the village was glaringly obvious.
"Then do what you must. The ANBU are off fighting the Nine-Tailed Fox, so no one will know. Just make it painless."
"Thank you."
Past Hiruzen simply nodded.
Prime Hiruzen quickly decapitated his past self, and then burnt the body. No one would know that there were two Hiruzens at any point.
Then Hiruzen wrote a note to Biwako, explaining what had to be done, jumped out the window, and made his way to the Nine-Tailed Fox.
He would finally be able to grant his own wish, and he would give Naruto the life that he deserved.