The line between himself and the machine that he piloted was blurred. Sometimes, it was although he was watching things from a viewscreen, and sometimes, when immersed in battle, it was like he was staring through the eyes of the Evangelion itself. In this moment, he was viewing the battles through the eyes of the Eva. He turned his head about, uncertain what to make of the unusual enemy flitting about before him. They didn't look dangerous, at first glance, but the sheer number of them clogging up the skies unnerved Shinji.
A red mechanical figure lunged forward, attempting to throw punch after punch at the creatures, but they easily darted out of the way. In a very human display of frustration, the red evangelion balled its fists in anger and raised them.
"Why won't these things just die!?" Asuka's voice called over the comm network.
But one single creature floated into the forefront of Shinji's vision. It lined up perfectly, as if the mask floating at the center was attempting to make eye contact with him. Eerily, the face's neutral expression eased into a smile.
"Will Trade," a garbled and scratchy voice whispered onto the intercom. "Freedom for Peace."
"W-what?" Shinji asked.
"Will trade," the voice repeated. "Freedom for Peace."
That doesn't sound so bad, Shinji thought to himself, before realizing this was an unusual development that he needed to report.
"I think this thing is trying to talk to me," Shinji said.
"What?" His commanding office, Misato Katsuragi, demanded. "What language is it speaking?"
"Japanese," Shinji said.
"A creature tried to speak to me as well," whispered Rei.
"What are these things saying?" Misato asked, both disturbed and confused.
"I think it wants to make a trade? Freedom for Peace?"
"For me, it wanted to trade emotion for peace," Rei intoned.
"Asuka, did a creature attempt to make contact with you as well?"
The red evangelion that Asuka piloted was attempting aerial kicks at the creatures, to no avail. The agile floating masks dodged all her attacks with ease. She was still shouting vague threats over the intercom and Misato had to repeat her question a few times until the angry teenager responded.
"Yeah, in German. It wanted to trade serenity for peace. What the hell would I do with serenity?"
The creature flying right in the middle of Shinji's vision started to emit a golden glow, and Shinji swore that The mask's lips grew into a wide grin. Then, it swooped away, flying back into the cloud of strange entities whirling about in the sky.
"Full retreat!" Misato commanded.
"What? We're not in danger? And we haven't got 'em yet!" Asuka objected.
"Looks like the man upstairs doesn't think this is a good use of resources, and I agree. Get your butts back to NERV."
"What if they attack again?" Shinji asked.
"I mean, they haven't attacked yet. If they should become a threat, we'll just have you suit up again."
Shinji nodded. If the Evangelions ran out of power, then NERV would have to waste resources to drag the hulking machines back to base. Might as run back and save everyone the trouble. He turned and started dashing back to their command center. Off to his side, he could see that Rei was following him, and he could hear Asuka grumbling over the intercom. The red lumbering giant still had it's neck turned towards the sky as it marched back to their headquarters.
"See you back at base," Shinji said, mostly to himself.
Back at NERV, Shinji stood with Rei and Asuka. He was a conscientious fellow, and kept his focus on the eyes of the girls he was talking to – but in the corner of his vision, he savored the feminine curves of their plugsuits. They were both plenty feminine on their own, but the plugsuits highlighted that femininity, accentuating every curve. A part of him wondered what technical purpose that served, and the rest of him was befuddled by a curious case of envy. He had worn a spare version of Asuka's plugsuit once, and it felt --
"Are you listening, idiot Shinji?"
"Y-yeah," Shinji said.
"So what do you think these mini-angels are really up to?"
Shinji stared back at her, but his eyes focused on her long flowing hair. He'd been admiring Rei's hair, but maybe it would be fun to grow his hair long. His dad would hate it of course, but maybe he could pass it off as a sort of rock n' roll look…
"I dunno," he said. "Are angels capable of peace?"
"Doubtful," Rei said.
"This is a war, and there's only going to be one side standing," Asuka snorted. "They know that as much as we do."
"As the angels come, they increase in power," Rei said. "Perhaps this is an experiment on their end – in communication. A lateral evolution."
"Why would they want talk to us?" Shinji asked.
"To distract us, obviously. Mind games," Asuka said. "Well, whatever. I need a shower."
Asuka started to walk off to the locker room, and Rei followed mutely behind her. Shinji, too, started to walk behind the two girls, and found his attention once again focused on Rei's hair. His mind studied the style of her hair, until she stopped, and turned around.
"The men's locker room is over there," she said, before entering the women's locker room.
Shinji blushed. "S-sorry."
He was lucky that he had run into Rei, and no Asuka, he thought to himself. She probably would've called him a pervert and smacked him across the hallway. Rei, strange girl that she was, usually took things at face value and probably assumed that Shinji was just lost in thought. Those it was hard to tell what was going on in her mind.
Sighing, he entered the men's locker room. There was no one else in there – he was the only male Eva pilot, after all. His reflection in the mirror greeted him. The plugsuit made his body look even more rectangular than it was, or at least, that's his he perceived. Technically, he knew that it was probably a flattering look on his body. He carefully got out of his plugsuit and hung it up in the random locker he had chosen as his own.
But before getting dressed, he sat on the bench in his boxers, and sighed. Maybe Asuka was right. Maybe he really was a pervert. Why did his mind keep lingering on things like the curves of his comrade's plugsuits, or the cut of Rei's hair? It was natural for a boy to notice femininity, but he also knew this was unrelated to romantic or sexual intentions. He'd always noticed these things, but over the last few months they were just so much more obvious to him. He'd even noticed that Asuka had started to wear some light make up. Naturally, he hadn't said anything, as most of the things he said to that girl resulted in a violent response.
Red lights started flashing, and a siren sounded.
"Enemy energy signature detected within NERV HQ. Be on guard and report any sightings immediately," a voice announced calmy.
Great, Shinji thought to himself. There was no point in dressing in his civilian clothes at this rate. It was only a matter of time before Katsugari summoned him into battle again. He stood up, and started to walk back to his locker, but then he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Without meaning to, he realized that he was holding his breath. Something was wrong – and he was pretty certain that the source of that wrongness was standing right behind him.
He spun around and shouted in surprise as he saw that one of the creatures they had just attempted to battle was floating in air right before him. The rings of eyes were rotating at a leisurely, almost conversational pace, and the mask bore a gentle smile. Shinji took a few steps back. He'd never had to fight an angel – or whatever this creature was – without the aid of an evangelion.
He reached behind him, and hit a button on his plugsuit.
"Shinji to Misato," he said. "There's a creature in the locker room."
"What!? I want an armed team down – "
The communication channel fizzled out into static before dying completely. Shinji sensed that it was the creature's doing. It wanted to talk to him, not Misato.
"S-s-tand back," Shinji said. "I c-can fight without an Eva."
He cringed at his own attempt at being threatening.
"No fight," a voice said in his mind.
"Really?"
"No fight," the voice repeated.
"What do you want, then?"
"Will trade," the voice crackled in his mind. "Freedom for peace."
"I don't understand," Shinji said meekly
One of the rings escaped the orbit of the mask, and encircled Shinji, sort of like a magical hula-hoop. But as it spun around him, he caught little glimpses of images. He could see Asuka's hips in her red plugsuit – he could see Asuka's naked body from that time her towel fell and she pummeled him. He saw Rei's bright blue hair, he saw Misato's womanly body in her underwear as she lay in her bed with a bottle of beer.
"Freedom," the voice said.
"I just see my female friends," Shinji said.
"Will trade," The voice said again, patiently. "Freedom. For peace."
The ring started to spin around him again, and this time his vision was bombarded by images of his body over the years. It hadn't bothered himself so much until the past few years, but something about his own body made him uneasy. All the hair. The fact that there was no difference between his waist and his hips. His own genitals.
"Freedom," the voice said.
Shinji's eyes widened as understanding dawned on him.
"For peace?" He whispered.
The expression on the mask turned into a wide open-mouthed smile.
That's what I want, more than anything, he thought to himself.
"Deal," the voice intoned.
That's when he blacked out.
When he came too, there were voices shouting. His head spun around, and all he saw were a squadron of NERV agents with guns pointed right at him. Misato was at the forefront of the group, aiming her pistol directly at Shinji.
"Identify yourself!" She shouted.
"Ikari Shinji," Shinji said, woozily.
"Liar! Identify yourself!"
"We've doubled checked the citizen database. Not even a single blurry image from a security camera matches the girl," another voice said.
"Could she be an angel?" Another voice asked.
"This is your last chance! Identify yourself!" Misato demanded.
"I don't understand," Shinji said.
What was their problem? Tears in her eyes, she averted her gaze downwards, and was amazed by what she saw. She was still wearing the same pair of boxers as she had been before, but that was the only resemblance to how she had looked moments before. The full view of her body was somewhat blocked by the breasts now hanging from her chest, and what she saw beyond was all soft skin.
"My body," she said.
"I'm telling you the readings are all human," Dr. Ritsuko Akagi said as she waved a device in Shinji's direction.
"I don't care. There was angel energy here. Get this girl to a maximum-security holding cell."
"I'm Shinji," Shinji said, crying again.
"Up," a guard commanded.
Shinji felt a gun pressed into her back. She gulped. Although she wasn't sure what was happening, she figured that now wasn't a time to rock the boat. She walked obediently and entered her cell without protest.
Shinji wasn't sure how long she had sat alone in the cell, but it must have been at least an hour and a half. She had wrapped her arms around her breasts the whole time embarrassed at being so exposed and so vulnerable. There wasn't a mirror for her to look at, but she examined her body as best she could. It reminded her a lot of Rei's, though she blushed at the thought. Her frame was delicate, but her hips were obvious, and her breasts were –
Real. It was all real. It was so hard for her to believe. The angels had strange and unusual powers, but Shinji had never heard of someone spontaneously turning into the opposite sex. Or anyone changing sex at all, really. The technology of the medical science was probably out there, but she'd never heard of it nor thought of it until now.
She tried to dry her tears. It's only a matter of time, she told herself. They'll scan her with all sorts of devices, and they'll see that she's really Ikari Shinji despite the absurdity of it all. Yes – Shinji decided that she would have faith in her fellow NERV operatives. Once the confusion settled down, they'd see reason, and they'd release her.
After what felt like an eternity of waiting, there was a knock on the door, and then slowly it opened. A basic white cotton shirt was tossed in front of Shinji, who wasted no time clothing herself. When she looked up again she found that Misato was standing at the doorway, her arms folded defensively, and her face painted with worry.
"Shinji, is it really you?"
"Yeah," she said.
Misato walked into the cell and took a seat next to the confused young girl.
"I'm sorry that I pointed a gun at you, and that I yelled at you," Misato said. "We'd had reports of an angel, you sent out that call, and then we found an unknown teenage girl in the men's dressing room. I had to be certain that you weren't the enemy."
"I know."
"Really, though," Misato said, as she put a hand on Shinji's knee. "I'm sorry. I know you've been through a lot in life, and you've had – troubles – with the adults around you. I don't want to break the trust we've been building up."
"Umm," Shinji stammered. "Ok."
"You still trust me, right?"
"Yeah."
"Tell me what happened."
And so Shinji did. She started with the non-battle with the strange mask entities in the sky, to one of the creatures' surprise appearance in the locker room. She left out the visions that the angel showed her when the ring was spinning around her, but otherwise gave a thorough recount of the day's events.
"Why did you agree to the angel's trade?" Misato asked softly.
"I didn't!" Shinji objected, more strongly than she had intended. She softened her voice before continuing. "Not out loud. Like I said, I thought the answer to myself. That it was what I wanted. But I never actually agreed to it out loud."
Misato nodded thoughtfully. "Well, the angels aren't human. I'm surprised it was even able to communicate with you. It might not have known the difference between the spoken voice and the inner voice of the mind."
"I – I'm not in trouble am I?"
"Not with us," Misato said, soothingly. "We're going to have to do a lot of tests on you though, to try to figure out exactly what they did to your body."
Shinji squirmed at the mention of tests. That was one of her least favorite parts of being an Eva pilot – it seemed like they were always testing her or checking on something. She'd never been a fan of the doctor's office.
"The genetic scans do show that you're the Shinji we know and love. It's just that now you've got two X-chromosomes instead of one."
"I'm really a girl, then?" Shinji asked, her voice oddly hopeful.
"Welcome to the winning team, kid."
Misato cracked a grin at that, and Shinji laughed softly.
"How do you feel?" Misato asked.
"Okay. Nothing hurts."
"I mean like, emotions, Shinji. How do you feel?"
"Ah – shaken. I didn't like all those guns being pointed at me, and then being stuck in this cell..."
Misato nodded slowly. "This cell is monitored, and we watched your behavior. You didn't panic, and you didn't try to break out. You didn't even try the door."
"I just cried," Shinji said.
"Yes. I hope you don't take offense to this, but it was a very Shinji-like reaction to the situation. But there was one thing that really surprised me."
"W-what was it?"
"You barely reacted to the changes in your body," Misato said, as she made eye contact with Shinji. "Teenage boys are supposed to proud of their manhood, and you didn't seem distressed at any of the changes. And when I told you about what we'd discovered with the preliminary medical scans, you didn't ask if we could turn you back – you asked if you were really a girl."
Shinji looked down once again and started to shake.
"M-maybe the angel messed with my mind," she said quietly.
"Maybe."
Fishing in her jacket, Misato pulled out a small compact mirror and flipped it open. She handed it to Shinji, who immediately studied her own face. At first, she was transfixed, and her mouth hung open. Then, she smiled, and the tears came.
"As I thought," Misato said. "Upon seeing your face, you smiled."
"I mean – it was just – my face was so pretty," Shinji said.
Misato leaned back against the cell and cushioned her head with her arms.
"The angels tried to offer the three of your what they thought you needed the most. They sensed that Rei had difficulty expressing – or maybe experiencing – emotions. They sensed the anger and the pain in Asuka. But they didn't understand that what a person needs and what a person wants aren't always the same thing. But with you, they got lucky. What they offered you was both what you needed and what you wanted the most in the world."
"Yes," Shinji said, as she started weeping uncontrollably, and fell into Misato's arms.
The young girl in her embrace needed consolation, so Misato just held onto Shinji as she sobbed into her shoulder.
"It's okay, kid. I Love ya, and we'll figure this out."