I don't have a problem!, an evangelion fanfic

This was probably my stupidest one yet. It's entirely Zxanthe's fault, and I cannot stress that enough.

"Alright, I'm heading out."

"Ehh?" Asuka whipped around from her magazine to stare at Shinji by the door. "Where are you going, Third?" Asuka asked.

"T-to meet Toji and Kensuke," Shinji said, taken aback at the energy of her reaction, "There's a new game shop that opened…"

Asuka raised an eyebrow, "What's the big deal? Aren't there game stores everywhere over here? That's like one of the few good things about this country."

Shinji bristled a bit, but not enough to want to argue. He sighed and explained, "Yeah, but most of them left Tokyo-3 due to the Angel attacks. We haven't had a new one open, at least not since I got here."

"I still don't get it. Can't you just order them on Amoozon?" she asked.

He shook his head, "It's not the same. Besides, Kensuke says this one has all sorts of other stuff that he swears is cool and not just junk."

"It's probably junk," Asuka deadpans.

"It's probably junk," he responds sadly, "But it's something new, and he's too excited to listen to reason."

Asuka stares for just a moment more before closing her eyes and shrugging. "Whatever. Have fun wasting your time with the other Stooges," she turned back to her magazine, "Pick me up snacks on your way back."

Shinji nods despite knowing she won't see, giving a small "okay Asuka," before finally heading out the door.

Sitting in silence for a few minutes, idly kicking her feet as she reads, Asuka finally lets out a scoff to the empty apartment.

"Idiot."

As it turns out, most of the stuff was just junk, according to Shinji anyway. But it was apparently interesting enough that the Stooges decided to add the shop to their rotation of hang outs and fun enough that it seemed that Shinji always came back in a good mood. And every time this soured Asuka's own, but she couldn't explain why.

What was so great about some game store, anyway? It wasn't like clothes shopping where she could try things on, you'd have to get home before you could even try the games. Ordering online was far more convenient. A ring of the doorbell pulled her from her musings, her eyes lighting up as she realized who it could be. She scrambled to her feet and hurried to the entrance way, jamming the button to open the door far harder than necessary.

Asuka made a happy noise when she saw the Amoozon's smiling cow logo on the box just outside. She snatched it up and ran back to the living room, grabbing a box cutter without breaking stride.

Shinji poked his head out from his room, the noise having finally gotten through the musical barrier of his headphones. Upon seeing that nothing was on fire again, he came into the living room to see what all the commotion was.

"Uh, what's going on?" he asked.

"My new game came in!" Asuka chirped, too excited to return to her previous sulking at the sight of its source.

"What game is it?"

"Myth of Sabrina: Trumpet of Space," she said, "I've been waiting for this one for years!"

"Oh!" excitement creeping into his own voice, "I didn't know that was out yet."

"Yep! So I'm going to be commandeering the GameSphere to play it," she declared, almost daring him to protest.

"O-okay, Asuka," Shinji waved his hands, "I'll just get one of the portable models and my own copy."

That gave Asuka pause. In all the times he'd gone to that game store, he'd never actually bought anything for himself. In fact, she couldn't remember a time he'd ever made a purchase that was strictly for his own wants. She scowled, the thought of the game store successfully reawakening her ire.

"So I guess you're going to that place to get it?"

"Yeah," he nodded, giving her a curious look as she jerked her gaze back to her game, scowl still marring her face. "Do… do you want to come?" he asked, his curiosity overpowering his normal hesitancy.

Asuka furrowed her brow in thought. Did she want to go? It was a simple errand, not really worth her time. And it wasn't like there was anything there for her to get. But still the thought of going seemed to soothe some soreness in the back of her mind. Finally she closed her eyes and nodded, giving a condescending 'hmph' before speaking, "Sure, I guess I can spare some time to come see what's so entertaining to you Stooges."

Ignoring the rather gentle insult, or maybe even because of it, Shinji smiled, "Great. Let me just get changed."

Looking down at her own clothes, she gave a grunt of agreement as she got up to go change into something more publicly presentable as well.

"So how much further?" Asuka asked, looking back at Shinji as he got off the bus behind her.

"It's not far, just a few blocks that way," he said, pointing down the street.

"Well then hurry up, Third! I want to get back to my game," she said. She then grabbed his arm and started pulling him down the street, making him scramble to keep up and keep his feet beneath him.

Asuka briefly wondered why she agreed to come if she wanted to get to her game so badly, before ruthlessly squashing the thought. It wasn't important, she was here and that's what mattered. By this point Shinji had managed to get his balance back and had shifted to walking beside her, so he quickly caught her attention when he finally stopped.

"Well, here it is," he said, uncertainty in his voice.

"This is it?" Asuka wasn't impressed.

"I mean, I don't really know what you were expecting."

Asuka frowned, she didn't really know what she'd been expecting either. Why had she wanted to come so bad? It wasn't like he'd been singing the place's praises, so why was it such a big deal? The place certainly didn't look like much. Just another boring building with large windows on the outside on a street of boring stores. A large neon sight hung inside the window, proudly proclaiming the store's name.

GAMESTOP

She decided to put a pin in her thoughts on why she seemed to want Shinji to ask her to come with him so badly, and brought her attention back to the store itself.

"Well," she said, "Let's see what's got you idiots so entertained!"

Grabbing his arm again, she pulled open the door and dragged him behind her into the shop.

A bored teenager stood at the counter looking at his phone. He looked up upon hearing the bell, pasting the classic "customer service" smile upon seeing a new girl. "Hi, welcome to GameStop," he said with false cheer, before catching sight of Shinji behind her. His smile fell into a more casual one, "Oh, hey Shinji."

Shinji waved with his free arm and gave a nervous smile, "Hey Takato. Do you have any copies of the new Sabrina game? And a GameSphere Lite?"

"Yeah, let me go grab one."

Asuka dropped Shinji's arm as he talked with the employee, quickly losing interest in their conversation. Looking around at shelves of merchandise that was distinctly not video games, she left the two boys to start exploring.

"Junk, junk, junk, perverted junk, junk-" she froze.

"EHHHHH!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"

Takato nearly dropped the console as he was ringing it up. Shinji could have sworn he saw the windows wobble too, but that may have been the sudden violent jerking as Asuka seemed to teleport in front of him and shook him by the front of his shirt like a ragdoll.

"Who is responsible for this, Third?!"

"I-I-I d-d-don't kn-know wh-what you're ta-talking about!" Shinji tried to shout, the rapid back and forth making it hard to get the words out.

Deciding to take a break from trying to stir his brain into a slushie inside his own skull, Asuka marched Shinji over to a shelf full of boxes on the opposite side of the store from the counter.

"THIS!" She screamed, pointing at a box.

After a second to let his vision stop swimming, Shinji took a better look at the merchandise. The entire wall was covered with shelves, stretching from one side of the wall all the way to the other. And every shelf was full of the same thing.

Funko Pops. Rows upon rows of Funko Pops. There had to be at least a hundred, maybe two hundred of the things. And sitting prominently in the center was the one Asuka was pointing at.

It was Unit-02, in all of its deformed glory. Right next to it were figures of Unit-00 and Unit-01, but they were clearly irrelevant right now.

"Oh," Shinji muttered, "Those."

"What do you mean 'those'?" Asuka screamed, "You knew about this?!"

"Yeah," Shinji said, "Kensuke found them on our first visit. Bought them all immediately."

"And you let him?!"

"Well I couldn't really tell him not to, I can't tell him what to do," he protested.

Asuka was practically breathing fire now. She whipped her head around, searching for someone to blame, but found no one. The guy at the counter had huddled behind the counter when she'd first grabbed her roommate, and then had wisely proceeded to crawl into the backroom while she was distracted.

"Someone is going to pay!" she snarled, grabbing the figurine before turning and stomping out the door despite the employee's protests, "Come on, Third, I will have Justice!"

"EHHHHH!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S LICENSED?!"

Shinji winced. Even through the metal walls of NERV HQ, Asuka's shout still managed to make his ears ring. He was actually kind of impressed, she'd never managed that before.

His grip on the soda cans tightened for a moment before relaxing. The worst of the shouting was probably already over, the strategy of going to grab them some sodas to avoid standing at ground zero when Mt. Asuka erupted was a success. Now it was time to ride out the storm. Delaying any longer would just cause her to seek him out and accuse him of running away, which never ended well.

If anyone in the room noticed him entering, they didn't show it. Misato was tiredly trying to mollify Asuka with ever thinning patience, while Dr. Akagi just stroked the fires with her condescending dismissal.

"Asuka, it's a real life giant robot. Of course people are going to want merchandise of it. NERV can't afford to just ignore such a huge source of revenue," Misato said.

"We weren't doing it before! I know we weren't, the stooge with the glasses would have mentioned it by now."

"Because video footage finally leaked online. It was inevitable, the MAGI can only afford dedicating so much processing power to scrubbing the internet for these things, and the situation had been planned for already," Ritsuko glanced at Asuka from her tablet, "Although I'm sure it might have taken longer if some people hadn't openly bragged about classified information."

Asuka glared daggers at the faux-blonde, grinding her teeth.

"But why one of these things?" she growled, "It could have been a model kit or something, something with dignity. Why a disgusting Funko Pop!?" She raised the box and thrust it towards the two of them, almost threateningly.

Seeing an opportunity, Shinji chose that moment to stand beside his fellow pilot, silently handing her a soda. They might be terrible for teeth, but her grinding always worried him and she couldn't grind her teeth and drink at the same time.

Misato shrugged, "They sell well. I don't get it either, I've never actually seen anyone who owns one, but according to accounting they provide some of the biggest sales for our merchandise."

There was a moment of quiet as Asuka angrily took a sip of her drink.

"We have a marketing department?" Shinji asked, causing Asuka to gag on her drink.

Misato opened her mouth to answer, before pausing and turning to Dr. Akagi, "Do we have a marketing department?"

The doctor rubbed her eyes, "Yes, we have a marketing department. Their primary office isn't in Tokyo-3, but they do exist."

The sound of crinkling metal drew everyone's attention back to Asuka, just in time to see her stomping to the door.

"And where are you going?" Misato asked.

"If their office isn't here, then I'll just have to go higher up the chain."

Throwing the can into the nearest recycling bin without missing a step, Asuka left the room and turned the corner for the elevators.

There was another beat of quiet before Shinji turned to the other two.

"She's not going to see my father, is she?"

"Of course she is. And I do not see that going well."

"Shouldn't you stop her?" Ritsuko asked, "You're her commanding officer."

"Nah, I wanna see where this goes. It'll be funny."

"Or it will go terribly and she'll be charged with insubordination,"

"Well that's a future Misato problem. I've had about as much her crap as I can take right now."

Shinji's eyes widened as the reality of the situation set in. Without a word, he turned and bolted to catch up with his roommate, and hopefully stop her from biting off more than she could chew.

Asuka tapped her foot as the elevator seemed to crawl to the upper floor where the Commander's office sat. Her mind raced as she tried to think of what to say. She wasn't stupid, she realized she was treading dangerous ground, but she was just so angry she didn't really care. Her grip on the Funko Pop box tightened, creating a crackling noise from the packaging.

She would have justice for her Unit-02.

Finally the elevator reached its destination with a ding, the doors not even fully opened before Asuka stormed out. She didn't have any trouble finding the right door, it seemed like most of the floor was dedicated to the Commander's office. In the back of her mind, beneath the inferno of her righteous fury, a part of her scoffed at the amount of ego it'd take to have one's office take up practically an entire floor of a building.

The part of her in question was not very self-aware.

Asuka barged right past the undercover Section Two agent doubling as Gendo's secretary, only avoiding getting shot due to her pilot status. Or possibly the agent was just shocked at the sheer audacity of this bitch. Whatever the case, nothing stood in her way as she marched right up to the door and slammed her foot onto the button to open it. It wasn't as satisfying as kicking down the door itself, but it'd have to do.

The darkness of the room took her by surprise and she needed to take a moment for her eyes to adjust to the lack of light. As she got used to the dark, she finally got a good look at the mausoleum that passed for an office. Weird carvings were on the floor and ceiling that she vaguely recognized before turning her attention to the desk and its occupant smack in the center of the room.

The commander sat in that same pose he always seemed to use, but still managed to broadcast an almost bored aura, as if he'd been expecting her. The dim lighting from the wall of windows reflected off his glasses and made it impossible to see his eyes and get a better read on him. At his side stood the ever present Sub-commander, his own expression tightly controlled with only a hint of curiosity.

Asuka took a deep breath, ready to give a piece of her mind before a cold voice cut her off.

"What do you want, Pilot Soryu."

The sentence was supposed to be a question, but she could somehow feel the lack of a question mark, his dismissal of her was powerful enough that it was beyond even the rules of grammar.

The tone gave her pause for just a moment, before her rage came back full force.

"Who is responsible for turning my Unit-02 into a Funko Pop, and how could you let that happen?" she screamed, waving the figurine wildly.

"Unit-02 belongs to NERV, and NERV will use it and its likeness as it sees fit. It is not yours. If you have nothing important to discuss, then leave."

Asuka's face flushed, "Not important? NOT IMPORTANT!?" I'll show you important-"

Whatever words she was going to say next were cut off as the sound of the door opening echoed through the room thanks to the cave-like acoustics.

Turning to look at whoever had the audacity to interrupt, the echoing of hurried footsteps paused any further comment as Shinji ran up beside her.

"Asuka…" Shinji panted, clearly having sprinted to get there, "You gotta… you gotta…"

He bent over and put his hands on his knees, gasping as he tried to catch his breath.

"What the hell, Third? You so out of shape that that little hallway was too much?"

Shinji shook his head, his breathing seeming to get slightly more manageable, "Elevators too slow," he gave another gasp, "Stairs."

"EHHH? You took the stairs to get here? That had to be something like forty floors!"

"Forty-six," Gendo stated.

"Forty-six floors!" Asuka continued as if she hadn't been corrected. Then she paused, turning towards the Commander, "How did you know which floor we came from?"

"I am the Commander of NERV, Pilot Soryu. I know everything," his glasses glinted as if to emphasize his statement.

Fuyutski gave an almost inaudible sigh before muttering, "Drama queen." Then in a normal speaking voice he asked, "Pilot Ikari, would you like some water?"

The agent nodded his head before leaving without a word.

Standing up and finishing the entire bottle in seemingly one gulp, Shinji closed his eyes and sighed before turning to Asuka.

"Asuka, please don't get in a fight with my father."

Asuka bristled, "And why not?"

"I've been planning on asking for a raise, and I wanted to do it when he was in a grumpy mood."

"A grumpy mood? You mean a good mood?"

Shinji shook his head, "He doesn't do 'good moods.' The best I figured I'd get is 'not as asshole-ish' mood."

Fuyutski gave a small cough, "He's right here."

"No, he has a point," Gendo waved it off, "Continue."

Shinji looked a bit embarrassed at his mistake before pushing through and continued, "Right, well I spent the last of my money paying for the Funko Pop you stole, so I couldn't afford the game and the console."

Asuka had the decency to look embarrassed. She'd kept getting him to pay for things when she'd dragged him with her to grab snacks or impromptu shopping trips. Maybe that was why she never saw him buy things for himself.

"Right," she said, "I'll pay you back for it."

She would not apologize, that was the best he was going to get. But it seemed to satisfy him, one of his small, genuine smiles forming on his face.

"Thanks, Asuka."

"Enough."

The teens jumped at the interruption, whipping to look at the Commander in perfect synchronization.

"You've wasted enough of my time. Leave."

The finality in his tone had them walking to the door before they even realized they'd moved. Just as he stepped through the exit, Shinji hesitated, turning to look back, "Father, about-"

"Your funds will be increased. It'll be shown on your next paycheck. Go."

"Th-Thank you, Father," Shinji stuttered out, before he was yanked fully out the door by his fellow pilot.

"C'mon," she scolded, "Let's go get you your game."

Back in the apartment, Asuka stared at the abomination on her shelf. She'd been planning to return it when they'd gone back to the store to get Shinji his game, but something had stayed her hand.

Maybe it was because despite how disgraceful it was, it was still her beloved Unit-02. And it was her Unit-02, no matter what that bearded bastard said. Or maybe it was because Shinji had bought it for her, and that made it special. She ruthlessly squashed the part of her brain that suggested that and shoved that thought into the back of her mind, like she shoved that ugly green dress into the back of her closet when it failed to get a reaction from Shin-

She shook her head, before looking back at the Funko Pop. Whatever the reason, she was stuck with it. And lacking anywhere else to put it, as the back of her closet was full of ugly dress, it sat front and center on her shelf.

Maybe it wasn't so bad. Unlike other Funko Pops, it was at least accurate with its lack of mouth. And it had the proper eye color. The longer she looked at it, the more it grew on her. She could get used to this.

Though it looked a bit lonely.

She scoffed. It may have been somewhat acceptable due to it being her Eva, but it was still a Funko Pop. As if she'd want more of the stupid things, especially ones that weren't her Eva. Besides, she didn't need anyone, and neither did Unit-02. Except her, of course.

Thoughts settled, she turned to her bed -her proper Western bed- and lay down for the night. After counting Pen Pens hopping over bean bag chairs for a while, she finally drifted off to sleep.

Almost a week later found her back in the GaneStop, this time all on her own. She didn't want any witnesses. Not that she was going to do anything, but if she did, she didn't want anyone knowing. She browsed through the shelf of games across from the wall of those things. Her eyes slid over game box after game box, but she wasn't really seeing them. She knew why she was really here. Looking around and seeing no one else in the store for the fourth time, she sucked in a breath and made her move.

Abandoning her act, she strode towards the other Eva Funko Pops with purpose. She grabbed the ones for Unit-00 and Unit-01 and took them over to place them and her money on the counter with all the dignity she could muster. She ignored the look from the employee behind the counter, crossing her arms and sticking up her nose. She could just feel the judgment and she was not going to give him the satisfaction of acknowledging it. He rang up the items and put them in a bag without a word. She snatched it from his hand the moment it crossed the counter and hurried from the store.

Takato watched the grumpy teen leave with the same look of mild indifference he'd had since she'd arrived and pretended to browse for two hours. He didn't know what she was making such a stink about, his sister had an entire bookshelf full of those things. It wasn't like he had a right to judge. He knew his collection of waifu body pillows was only slightly less cringe than Funko Pops.

Asuka rushed into her room, despite the empty apartment. She'd planned this for Shinji's arcade day, so she knew he wasn't home, but there was still Pen Pen. It was always a mystery which nights he went out to do whatever it was genetically modified sapient penguins did for an evening out, so better to err on the side of caution.

In the safety of her room she let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. No one had seen her. She pulled out the two new figurines and set them beside her original Eva. There, that was better. It'd felt wrong to not complete the set, she told herself. Even if they were Funko Pops, leaving the set incomplete would be like quitting, like failing. And Asuka Langley Soryu did not fail.

Asuka nodded to herself, content with her reasoning. She was completely justified in her purchase and was absolutely not cringe. Besides, now Unit-02 didn't look so lonely. That brought a smile to her face and she looked at her first figurine to fully take in the satisfaction, only for the smile to slowly fade.

It was better, but… it still looked lonely. After all, she'd hardly consider the Third and Wondergirl to be satisfying company. No. No. This was just a toy. It was fine. She'd completed the set and was done with them.

Besides, it's not like there was anything else worth getting a figure of.

Another week passed and Asuka found herself standing in front of the GameStop again. It'd taken surprisingly little damage from the last Angel attack. She didn't know if she was grateful or not. No, no. This was fine, she was here for a valid reason. It was Hikari's birthday and she'd asked for a game. Something about sharing an interest with the jock stooge. Asuka didn't really get what Hikari saw in him, but she'd given up trying to make sense of it at this point.

The bell dinged as she entered, making a beeline for the X-station games. She scanned through the game shelf with laser-like focus, taking note that the lazy bums here couldn't even bother to organize the games with any kind of order… She saw red in her peripheral vision and instinctively turned to get a better look. Another Funko Pop. Apparently they'd started spreading over the adjacent wall, like some sort of moss growing across a house. This one was from Super Sentai, the Red Ranger specifically. She'd known them as Power Rangers back in Germany.

The image tickled the back of her mind. She recognized this one. She'd seen bits of this particular series on TV back when she didn't spend her Saturday mornings sleeping in. The show itself hadn't been something she'd watched much, or even really enjoyed, but it did bring to mind memories of lazy Saturday mornings, some of the rare downtime she'd had between training and her accelerated school course. They were good memories, some of the few she could confidently say that about in the recesses of her mind.

She straightened up and headed over to the figure, grabbing the game she'd been looking for without even a glance as she'd passed. She'd found the game immediately when she'd arrived at the shelf, the search having been a facade.

Picking up the Funko Pop, she looked at it from different angles, as if trying to uncover the secrets of the memories it evoked in her, and the warm feelings they brought. She looked back at the shelf it'd sat on and realized it was surrounded by the other Rangers from that team. The complete set. And she couldn't leave something incomplete.

…

She left the store with a much bigger bag than she'd intended, making it a point to try and remain as inconspicuous as possible. A rather pointless endeavor with her prominent hair, but she didn't pay it any mind.

"Hey Shinji, is everything okay with Asuka?"

"Hmm?" Shinji looked up from the skillet, "Define okay?"

"I mean anything different from normal," Misato said, giving an eye roll. She'd wanted him to come out of his shell some more, but she hadn't realized it would just make his passive-aggressive sass even stronger.

"Oh," he turned back to the skillet as he pondered, "She pretends to sneak around every now and then, but I figured it was just a girl thing."

"Ohoho," Misato chuckled, "Maybe she's nervous about getting her 'feminine hygiene supplies'," she emphasized the words with a teasing drawl, "and she doesn't want you to know about them. Is our little Asuka embarrassed?"

"No, that's not it," Shinji shook his head, "She let me know exactly what brands she uses. I just add them to the grocery list."

He gave an affirmative hum without looking up, "Yeah. And pads and such."

"How do you even know about that stuff?"

Shinji actually paused to turn and give her a dirty look, "after having to clean the bathroom disaster when I first got here, I learned about all kinds of interesting products and various body fluids that they're used for," he turned back to the food, "Luckily Pen Pen explained most of it to me, and Dr. Akagi cleared up some details. I've been buying your tampons since before Asuka came, or did you not notice that they seemed to restock."

Misato looked sheepish, "Uh, no, I never really thought about it."

"Well, now you know. Anyway, I asked Asuka if she needed anything like that when she followed me on a grocery trip and she made me a list. So it's nothing like that."

Slouching back in her chair, Misato started swirling her beer around and looked up at the ceiling in thought, "Well, let's see. She's got something she's embarrassed about. And her spending has tripled. But Section Two hasn't reported any trouble or suspicious activity, so she hasn't been doing anything dangerous…"

"Her spending? Why don't you just check her purchase history? You get records from our NERV cards, right?"

"Yeah, we do. But I forgot my password and I don't feel like doing the password reset," Misato moaned.

Shinji hummed in acknowledgement, but didn't respond any further.

Misato looked at the back of his head for a few moments before slumping forward and leaning her head into her arms on the table, "Good talk, thanks for your insight," she grumbled.

"Asuka," Shinji lightly rapped on the door frame to Asuka's bedroom, "Asuka, we need to talk."

The door slid open a crack, just enough for Asuka's eye to peek out, "What do you want?"

"Asuka. We need to talk about this."

"I don't know what you mean. Now if you excuse me-"

She tried to close the door, but was stopped by Shinji's foot. She looked down, growled, and then tried to shut the door even harder causing Shinji to wince. Asuka looked back up to lock eyes with Shinji before she began repeatedly slamming the door on his foot as quickly as she could.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow- Asuka!" Shinji shouted, grabbing hold of the door and forcing it open, "We need to talk about this. You have a problem!"

"You're the one with the problem, trying to force yourself into a girl's room, pervert!"

"Asuka, please, enough is enough."

Asuka stopped trying to force the door closed, stepping back a little and giving Shinji a chance to speak.

Shinji took a moment to sweep his eyes across the room before looking back at her. He raised an eyebrow, "You can barely walk in here. This place is literally covered with Funko Pops."

"So? This is my room. I don't see how it's any of your business what I do in here."

"Asuka, you've started storing them in my room because you've run out of space here."

This gave Asuka pause. She turned and really looked over her room. Like he had said, it was covered wall to wall with the little things. Even half of her bed was covered in them. Everything from old Tokusatsu to SpongeBob. The realization felt like ice water running down her spine. "Maybe… maybe I do have a problem," she said quietly.

She refused to look back at Shinji. She refused to meet his judgemental stare and-

Despite herself she'd managed to catch Shinji's eye anyway, but found no judgment there. Instead, she found only concern.

"It's okay, Asuka. We'll figure this out."

And surprisingly enough, Asuka believed him.

They held each other's eyes for a few seconds, although it could have been a lifetime, before the moment was broken by a Penguins of Madagascar Funko Pop hitting Shinji in the back of the head.

"WARK WARK WARK!" a very annoyed Pen Pen honked at them from his fridge, before turning around and angrily waddling back into his room.

"There, that's the last of them," Asuka wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, leaning on the last box she'd stacked outside the apartment door.

Shinji poked his head from inside the apartment, "And you definitely got everything from the back of the closet?"

"Ugh. Yes, Third, I made sure I got everything. You're welcome to go check, just this once. I told you, it was an accident last time, I was not trying to hide them."

"I'm just checking," Shinji placated, "I know there were still some in my closet after you went through it on your first pass through."

Asuka raised an eyebrow, "Third, your room is a closet."

Shinji didn't dignify that with a response. They were both well aware who's fault it was he was in there to begin with. Instead, he turned to look at Pen Pen, who was going over a list on a clipboard, "Are you sure your buyer will take all these?"

"Wark wark," Pen Pen waved off the question, not looking up from the paperwork.

"Alright then, we'll leave it to you and your moving guys," Asuka said, heading inside and dragging Shinji with her, "Come on, Third, time for me to kick your ass in Garfield Racing."

"Your cooperation is appreciated."

"Wark."

Gendo stood back up from leaning over to shake his business partner's… 'hand.'

The door opened, revealing Fuyutsuki, although he stepped aside to let the bird pass on his way out, not remotely phased at his superior's choice in associates.

As the door closed behind him, the Sub-commander entered and took a good look at the results of Gendo's latest transaction.

"Dear God, Ikari. Again?"

Gendo's glasses glinted in the low lighting as he gave a sinister smirk.

"All according to the Scenario."

Honestly I lost some steam towards the end and I think it shows with how bare-bones it is.

Gendo absolutely has a room filled with those damn things.