It wasn't until his third time pushing Nessarose home that he even breached the topic of Boq. It seemed as though they were still together, but based on her comments on the matter, their relationship didn't cause her as much happiness as he had assumed it had the previous time. Fiyero simply asked her how they were.
Her hands twisted rather neurotically in her lap. "Oh, it's so hard to say. He's become very subdued when he sees me, but he still is so gracious and sweet. I find him very confusifying."
"Why do you think that is?"
"I wish I knew…"
"Sometimes relationships begin with the best of intentions, but then it's clear that it isn't the right one for those involved."
"No, it's me that's not right."
He stopped wheeling her forward and crouched in front of her, taking her hands in his. Nessa's big, deep brown eyes – intense in the same way that Elphaba's were – stared down at him forlornly.
"Don't you dare say that." He squeezed her fingers affectionately. "You are beautiful and intelligent and kind, and it is obvious he cares for you."
"But not enough."
"Do you hold that against him?" he asked, and it was clear she had not been expecting the question, for a frown creased her smooth, fair skin. "The heart wants what the heart wants. It is a difficult thing to change, even if the brain demands it."
"Do you think he loves me?"
"Oh Nessa, I don't know…"
"Do you?" Nessa demanded. The moment revealed to him a glimpse of the future Governess of Munchkinland he had never seen firsthand, having locked herself and her people up in its borders. "You may have only arrived here, Master Fiyero, but you know more than you let on. Surely you have an opinion on the matter."
His lips pursed; this wasn't his place. She became huffy and threw her hands up ungracefully, mimicry of her sister's temper. "Everyone acts as though I need protecting. I don't!"
"I know you don't," he indulged, catching her forearms with the pads of his fingers and guiding them back down.
"Then please, Fiyero, please…do you think he loves me?"
He sighed. This wasn't how he wanted this afternoon to go. Did he dare point out that 'love' was such a strong term after so little time? How could he after Elphaba stole his heart so quickly? Still, Nessarose, despite nearly fully outgrowing her teenage years, was still a child at heart. He could see why Boq continued to pamper to her, even with Fiyero's prodding to look out for his best interests.
"No, I don't believe he does," he said at last. "At least, he does not reciprocate your feelings. I think he wishes he could."
"I see." Her voice was so small then, like a whispered prayer, and she avoided his gaze.
"I think, given the opportunity, he would still choose to have you in his life."
"Could you be content with that?" she asked, and Fiyero could truly see then the little girl in her eyes that she hid with her mask of religiosity and indifference. "Watching as the person you love lives their life without you?"
"Would you believe me if I told you I already do?" he asked, standing up with a soft smile that hopefully hid his own heartache.
He spent two years wondering if Elphaba even gave him a second thought, and now he was repeating the most emotionally confusing time of his life. There was no guarantee that by the semester's end she would love him; there wasn't even a guarantee that he could stop history from repeating itself. He only knew that if it came to it, if he couldn't make her love him, he would give up everything he wanted if only to protect her from her fate.
"Someone here at Shiz?" she asked ingenuously.
"I have already said too much!" Fiyero said with a chuckle. "I beg of you to keep that between us. I wish to retain some air of mystery around here."
"I promise, I won't tell a soul," she said. Her eyes twinkled at him, grateful for the gift of trust he gave her, and he knew she was as good as her word. He put a friendly hand to her shoulder as he stepped behind the chair again.
"Come on, Nessarose, I'm buying you a muffin. How fast do you think this thing can go?"