DISCLAIMER I DO NOT OWN AIKATSU NOR ANY SONGS USED

*Magic Number by Maaya Sakamoto

Charlotte's POV

"And the winner for the mall's representative event is... Miyabi Yukino!" I sighed. Another loss.

I walked out of the stadium with heavy shoulders. This was one of the rare days that Char didn't have a schedule afterwards that I was allowed to participate in my own auditions. It was days like this that I remember that Char and I are different people.

I returned back to campus. Here it wasn't that much better than out there. Some people have been a bit more understanding of me. Trying not to sway away when I pass them in the halls. They couldn't help it in the end. Conversations I had with others were strained and they didn't have any other motives than to be nice. That was great and all but there was no point in forcing a friendship with those that didn't really get along with me.

Makes me really wish that Momo and Fumiko were my age. It was because Momo's actual understanding of my situation that made it easier for me to become friends with her. Fumiko was more out of a personal interest. If it wasn't for the mini challenge that we did before the Starlight anniversary I don't think I would have given her the chance. Unfortunately, I can't make every person that I come into contact with go through a trial session to see if they would last with me.

"Oh Charlotte-chan. Fancy meeting you here." I turned around to see Headmistress Kiriya. I bowed to her.

"Good afternoon Headmistress. How are you today?"

"I'm doing dandy. If I remembered correctly, you had an audition today? How was that?"

My head dropped giving her all the signal she needed to understand. "Well you can't win all the battles you fight."

"I know but failing so many times isn't really the biggest motivation."

Ever since my debut stage at the Starlight anniversary I have received my fair of attention but no where near Char's level. Or that of the notable first years for that matter. Most only focused on the idea that I was another half of Char. It wasn't really on me too much which was understandable. I had a few interviews explaining the basics of our relationship but nothing much more.

I did try a few auditions. None of them really worked out the way I wanted. First off, I had the expectation put on me that I was on Char's level. I wasn't. In terms of music and dance, we were pretty much the same. I tended to take a lower range than her but it didn't mean that either of us couldn't do what the other could. The problem was in attitude. People were drawn to Char and veered away from me.

Second, I was considered a rookie. My experiences were from a backseat perspective. That might as well be the same as anyone watching from a television. Putting what I know into practice was a lot harder than people give credit for. So when I'm viewed as a rookie with extreme standards, there are not a lot of people who are willing to take a bet with me.

"Well I do have a suggestion if you're up for it." She clicked a few things on her Aikatsu phone. No sooner my own phone vibrated in my pocket. I opened it to see that she had sent me a promotion advertisement.

"What's this?"

"Have you ever heard of Dachi-Dachi?"

"Vaguely I guess." Momo undoubtedly would be able to give a more detailed explanation but I only knew it by ear.

Dachi-Dachi was a sort of toy/ stuffed animal company that had a pretty big following. They were best known for their 'idol friends' program where they made an animal looking creature based off of an idol of their choosing. Of course not every idol gets a shot at having one being made in their image as it was up to the main creators to come up with that doll. Nonetheless it was a cute way that made fans own an item that was not screaming in fandom.

"Welllll they are looking to release a new doll soon. They are holding auditions to see if anyone is willing to be the new model representative. I thought that you or Char-chan would be interested in seeing since you have a large amount of young followers."

"Char has a high number of young people. Not me. I think most people that support me are more on the older side that see me like a pity project."

I could practically see the idol side of her come out as soon as I said that. Though I may appear confident for the most part I didn't have pride in my skills. Yes, I could sing and dance but sometimes people didn't look at that. I didn't have the charisma that Fumiko and Ceasire had, the natural talent of Higawari nor the analysis of Momo. And I, most definitely, did not have the idol personality that Char did.

"Oh Charlotte-chan. That's not true. You have your own charm."

"Like what?"

"Your perseverance. Even though you keep saying such negative things about yourself and put yourself on such a low level, you've never given up. Your stage at the Starlight anniversary was proof of that. Momo told me how scared you were. Yet when you stood on that stage you were sparkling just as much as Char-chan."

Though I wanted to accept her kind words, I didn't feel that they were true. Before the Starlight anniversary I did want quit. I wanted to quit before I even started. Not to mention I had Fumiko and Momo beside me at that time. If I messed up I had them to depend on. Rather than calling it perseverance I would say stubbornness.

Headmistress Kiriya soften up. "Do you know the story about Sena Akari-chan? Ah- I mean Oozora Akari-chan."

"Oozora Akari-san? I guess? Why do you ask?" Oozora had an interesting past. She was known as a really big Ichigo fan that managed to make a name for herself.

"Seeing you now reminds me of how Akari-chan started out. Here's what I say. Read over the audition. I'm not going to force you to attend but I really do think this would be a good chance for you to put yourself out there."

"Is this a request from the Headmistress?"

She chuckled. "Its a request from someone that believes in you. Don't give up so easily Charlotte-chan. The audition is on Monday so take the weekend to think it over."

I stared at my phone with Headmistress Kiriya's message on screen. The audition was simple enough. Like most it had it consisted of both an interview and stage. Since this was to have a stuffed animal modelled after them, I expect that the interview would be focused on the image that they want to portray through that.

The main question would likely to be what animal would I be and why? I switched apps to search up possible animals that I could say. I wasn't entirely sold on attending just yet but wanted to keep my options open. I opened up the usual internet searching engine. I didn't know what to type.

How do I look up what animal would represent me? There were those simple quizzes that were available online that didn't really make sense. From experience most of those had animals like dog, cat and other pet like animals. I didn't really feel that I fitted into that. I don't think I did at least. In general, when people think of those types of animals they would think of it ultimately being a welcoming, caring, small creature that gave them comfort. There's a reason why they are popular as pets.

I could look up scary animals. I quickly got rid of that idea not knowing exactly what would show up. Plus, these are suppose to be plushies. There were creators that could make it cute looking I assume. I typed in scary, cute plushies. Skimming through the results I didn't want this to be my image.

There was nothing wrong with these per say. Actually they did look cute with a subtle eerie vibe to them which is what I expected. However, I didn't want that kind of aesthetic for myself. If I did go for this audition and win, I don't want to push that scary appearance to me.

I closed my eyes to remember the plushies I had in the past. Most of them were the simple teddy bear or a variation of it. I didn't really go for the creepy types. The dolls I just saw wouldn't be something that I would pick out myself. If something was going to made based on me I would want it to be something that I could proudly say was similar to me.

'Seeing you now reminds me of how Akari-chan started out.' I heard Headmistress' words in my head again. After she had told me to check the job she had left without explaining herself.

'I wonder why she said that?' I changed the search bar to find out more about Oozora. Most people talked about one of three things. Her audition to Starlight, her being the Starlight Queen and eventually retiring and marrying the designer for Dreamy Crown.

She had been an idol way before I was even born that there was a lot of information about her. The first thing I clicked on was her audition. Her audition into Starlight was a mess. Tripping all over the place, getting the dance wrong, normally anyone would reject her. However, she was scouted by her idol herself.

In an interview Hoshimiya had addressed it by saying that she something in Oozora that would make her an amazing idol. 'Because you love music.'

I stopped when I remembered Momo first proposing we do a duet together. She saw something in me that I didn't even realize that I had. Now I could add Headmistress Kiriya to that list of those encouraging me.

As I was aimlessly scrolling I found a comment that interested me. "'I think Akari-chan really grew after her experiences in the boot camp'. Boot camp? The Aikatsu one?"

The Aikatsu boot camp was a given option to first year idols that did not seem to be improving much. Not a lot participated in it since everyone knew that it was an extreme method of training that not many people could deal with. I quickly looked up Oozora's experiences there.

I was surprised to see that there was a small amount of news articles regarding it. I suddenly went from thousands of results to only a handful. She didn't even talk much about it from what I could see. I watched the performance but the first thing I noticed was that she did it with Hoshimiya. Yet even next to the top idol, Oozora was still able to hold her own place. She didn't even have her aura at this point, still shaky but wasn't letting Hoshimiya outshine her.

My eyes widen at her pulling off her special appeal at the same time. "Amazing. She really is matching up to Hoshimiya-chan."

I watched intently when I noticed something else. She cut her hair. She entered this school with a hairstyle that matched her idol. Boot camp usually took place near the beginning of the year. Does that mean she changed her hair that quickly after enrolling? Why would she do that?

I tired searching more into it with no results. To others it was simply a hair cut. This was something else that I wanted to look more into it. I switched to my messaging app, going to Momo's contact. [Momo? Do you have time? I have a question about idol history.]

I thought I would have wait a while but she responded pretty fast. [Of course. If you'd like you are free to call me as well.]

I contemplated bothering her but she did offer and I would have preferred calling more. I don't think this would take too long so hopefully I'm not being that big of a bother. "Afternoon Char and slash or Charlotte-senpai."

Something strange about Momo is that she always acknowledges the two sides of me. She treated the two of us as two separate people. Best part of it was that I never had to tell her. She did it automatically. It was also easy for her to do so.

"Its Charlotte. Are you at a job right now?"

"Nope. I'm heading home for the weekend. I'm in the park right now. Do not worry about bothering me in this time. How may I help you?"

"Oh um I was um what animal would you describe me as?" I couldn't bring myself to ask the question right away. I was, maybe, looking too deep into something so simple after all.

"Hmmm maybe a Coendou vestitus or Chlamyphorus truncatus. Something of those families would make sense."

"A-are you going by scientific names?"

"Yes? They're easier to remember since they are specific to a certain epithet. A genus can contain a wide number that knowing which one I'm talking about is important. However, I'm assuming that you are not asking the real question that you desire. This is not relating to idol history that you stated in your text if you haven't noticed."

I really can't get things passed her from how sharp she is. "So I was looking into Oozora Akari-san's history. There was a time that she attended the infamous Aikatsu boot camp. I noticed that her hair is suddenly shorter. Do you know if there's a reason for her doing that?"

"Ahhh that is quite an interesting question. I want to return it to you and ask why you do you think? There had to be a reason why out of everything about her you chose to ask that. I believe that you already know the answer yourself in a way."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because now that you're asking I feel like you and Auntie Akari are very similar." I froze as she repeated what the Headmistress said. Was I really that much like her?

"Are you saying that because of her relationship with your mom is similar to mine with Char? That we both have to prove ourselves to those watching us?"

She took a second. "And?"

"And?"

"And what else? There's more to it than just you two having such large expectations placed on you. It relates to why she cut her hair. Yes, she wanted to set a name for herself but it isn't solely that. Think a bit harder. Why did Auntie Akari want a different hair style? Why do you want to appear different than Char-senpai?"

"Why? Shouldn't you understand that the best. It's because I'm not Char. And Oozora-san isn't Hoshimiya-san. We want to make ourselves individuals. Not the second version of them."

"You're right that you aren't but in a way you still are. After that haircut she didn't stop being mom's fan nor did she change who she was. You and Char-senpai still share one body. What do you think when I say that?"

Momo's was never really straightforward with these kind of questions. Even when recruiting me, she waited until we got to know each other until she gave an answer to why she wanted me to join her. This time I was just as confused as before.

I couldn't think of what answer I could say that would be right. It is true that Char and I share a body. That doesn't need to be mentioned. Hearing it from Momo was bit of a sting. Compared to the stream of failed auditions that I had it was around the same. I couldn't deny her facts.

Momo sighed on the other line. "I'm sorry Charlotte-senpai but I can't help you this time. I'm not in the position to do so."

"Is this another you aren't too social enough? Should I speak to Fumiko again?"

"Not exactly. This time it's that I'm too close to you that my answer will create a bias on you. I would like to give you the answer but that would be ineffective. I'm sorry that I can't be of help to you this time."

"N-no its my fault. I'm sorry that I couldn't meet your expectations."

"That's not true Charlotte-senpai. Have some more confidence in yourself. For whatever this is, you won't get anywhere if you doubt yourself. I believed in you since the start. Whether my words reach you is up to you."

"I understand... I'll talk to you later then. Thanks." I hung up the phone throwing myself backwards on my bed.

Even with Momo's help I was still lost. I haven't gotten either an answer to either of my questions. In fact, I probably had more questions after talking to her. I thought about calling Fumiko but I doubt she would be anymore help. I rolled over my bed seeing the tree outside the window.

A lone brown bird flew onto one of the branches. I could only see it from the side while it cleaned its feathers. Because of the colour it almost blended in to the branches. Somehow I felt like it I kept staring at it it would disappear. That was the same as the idol world.

If I didn't stand out, then I would fade out all alone like this bird. I know that the Headmistress and Momo would tell me not think this way. I couldn't help it. I've hidden behind Char for so long that I wasn't comfortable by myself. Now I didn't even have Momo or Fumiko beside me.

The little bird didn't stay long as it suddenly flew away. "How nice. I wish I could fly away too. I wonder what the scenery looks like."

I sat outside of the venue of the Dachi-Dachi audition center. I kept flipping through the same apps to try taking my mind off things. I did end up signing up for it because I wanted to know what the Headmistress and Momo really saw in me.

I couldn't go inside yet. The doors were already open but I couldn't bring myself to go in early. This audition felt different than the others that I've taken in the past. Those ones were smaller. Those were mainly filled with rookie idols that were dipping their toes into Aikatsu.

Dachi-Dachi, however, was a huge company. Fans that followed lots of people were always looking for new additions to the Aikatsu collection. Having me take that position could be a big offense to the other idols that really wanted this.

I suddenly looked up from my phone to see someone staring at me. It took me a second to recognize them. I stood up to bow to them. They bowed to me before walking over to me.

"Inoue Kikyo-san, am I right? I don't think we've ever formally met."

"We haven't Takahashi-senpai. I keep running in to her friends left and right is this some sort of joke. I guess you would be here to audition for Dachi-Dachi as well?" She puffed out. I didn't know why but somehow her and Momo got off to the wrong foot.

"Um about that I'm still not sure about the audition."

"Huh?! Why are even here if you don't know?!" There it was.

Out of all the idols out there, Inoue was one that always spoke her mind. Smaller things she would be fine with but when it came down to it, she almost never took things sitting down. There was a fine line that she wasn't willing to cross for her own sake. It's what made so many people like her as she was straightforward and loyal to herself.

"I'm still thinking about it. I just need a bit more time to prepare myself."

"Prepare? What are you scared or something? Weren't you the one who shamelessly took the Starlight anniversary stage?" I balled up my hands on my lap. "And wasn't Suzukawa Momo the one who scouted you? Doesn't seem like her trust in you is making sense right now. Do you even realize how serious people are about this opportunity?"

I felt myself curling up at everything she threw at me. I would have spoken up to defend myself but I couldn't. She was right about me. I was constantly given praise by others but only hearing criticism in my head. There were so many things that I was doing wrong that I couldn't handle hearing it out loud.

"Aren't you suppose to be the big, bad scary version of Char?" That was one thing I couldn't take.

"I'm not Char! I'm not the Starlight Queen! I get that! I don't need you to remind me of everything that I lack. You know nothing about me. What I've been through! The last thing I need is for people to tell me that I'm not who they want me to be." I quickly covered my mouth.

"You got quite a spirit. Didn't expect that. Alright then Takahashi-senpai, why does that bother you so much?"

It did bother me. When it was said by Momo I brushed it aside since it was her. Because I knew that she didn't mean it with negative tone. When Inoue said it I felt that she meant for it to hurt me. I doubt that she did mean it to but it did.

She was a reminder that not everyone approved of me just yet. Why did it bother me? "Because I want to be an idol too. I keep failing one after another but I can't give up. Just like Oozora Akari-san, I- I'm only considered related to someone else in a bad way."

I could see the final thing that connected me with Oozora and that was the negativity that people put on us. When I first heard Headmistress Kiriya say her name I thought of Hoshimiya. Others did that with Char and I. And that could be bad for us. Some people may think that we are riding on their coat tails. That we only got attention solely because of their names. All our hard work gets swept away because we aren't who they compare us to.

"I have no reason why you're bringing up Oozora-san but you can't really compare yourself to her. Or even Char-chan for that matter. Even if you pass this audition, no way you'll match up to them. Though judging by your tone I said something wrong so I apologize for that."

"It's fine. I know I can't be up to their level."

"Not in that way!" I jumped at her getting mad me. "Char-chan's the Starlight Queen, the second Kanzaki Mizuki. She's on a completely different level. No way rookies like us will be able to match up to her on the first chance. Does that mean we should belittle our work or let others do it for us? No way! It should make you want to try harder. To prove them wrong. So tell me, are you going to let them say these types of things about you?"

If she asked me a few hours ago I would have said yes. I wouldn't have it in me to fight back. Now, I felt a fire in me from actually hearing these things. I didn't want any of those bad things to be true. I wanted to show that I'm my own person.

"I won't." Inoue stood still for a seconds before cracking a small smile. She nodded, turning on her heel. "W-wait! Where are you going? The venue is in this direction!"

She slightly looked back. "I know a good idol when I see one. I'm not going to win against someone with such an amazing aura. I'll back down from this one. Good luck."

As she was leaving I looked down to my phone in hand to check the time. That's when I realized that I was still me. I didn't change to Char and she wasn't scared of me. She called me an idol. I got her recognition.

I sat in front of the few interviewers for a group questioning. They did flinch a bit when first seeing me which wasn't too surprising. I was glad that they were continuing with the interview while maintaining their professionalism. Though I did catch a few others auditioning did struggle with their answers when I looked at them.

Finally, it was my turn. "Takahashi Charlotte-san, what animal would you say you represent?"

I closed my eyes taking a few deep breaths. When I reopened them I thought to the brown bird I saw a few days ago. "A yellow bird."

I saw a few of the interviewers' had their eyes widen a bit. "A bird? Can you explain why?"

"I- um I'm still figuring out who I am and where I stand in Aikatsu. I find that I burden myself and put myself in a spot that I am not as strong as I present myself to be. A bird, though its small it's free. I want to see the world that I loved from a new perspective."

"And you specified yellow. Is there a reason?"

"I sort of want it to stand out. For small birds they can disappear from everyone's attention in a matter of seconds. They are so common that people don't bat an eye at them. But I feel like with a yellow bird that would be unique. Something that people can remember. A happy memory to look back on that you were able to find a fancy bird on a random day."

I heard one person stifling a laugh causing me to feel a bit embarrassed. However, I didn't feel that my answer was a mistake. It may not represent who they see me as but it was who I want to be.

"That is a great answer Takahashi-san. We look forward to your performance."

After a few other people answered their questions it was time for the performance portions. My words may not reach them but I was sure that my song would. This was a stage that I loved for so long. A place where I didn't have to fear what people thought of me for a small moment in time.

I stood in front of the changing booth with my cards in hand. Char offered to lend some of her' since I didn't have a wide collection yet. It could have given me an advantage as it made me stand out from the others. I declined. Instead I had my Indigo Torte Coord. My own cards. My stage.

Dousureba iindakke I held my head

Atarimae no kototte itsumo muzukashiina I kept tilting myself downwards pretending to almost fall over from the weight

Ureshii toki waratte

Sukina toki ni utaitaidakenanoni

Itsuka negai wa kanauto

I ran to the other side of the stage, looking for the answer

Demo itsukatte dorekurai?

Machikirenai yo! I jumped up as high as I could with my arms stretched out

1 2 3! I counted with my fingers.

No aizu de ryoute hirogete

Zenshin ni hikari wo atsumete I stuck out both my arms

Doko ni aruno oshiete watashi ni dekiru koto I gave this look of determination as I put more emphasis on my dance

Meiippai kizutsuite, seiippai hashitte

Nanjukkai koronde naite soredemo mada I pointed up to the ceiling

Akirerukurai

Ashita wo shinjiteru I gave a final wink knowing that I gave my everything down to the last second

I smiled looking at the design of the plushy. It was still a rough sketch but it was really made for me. Not Char or anyone idol. Me!

It was a yellow bird with its spiky wings spread out. The eyes were glaring but with the small size and bright colour, it wasn't that intimating as it tried to be. It reminded me of lightning in a way. It even had a flower clip that people could change like mine.

I only had to wait until the actual product was made. I felt giddy just the thought of it. I couldn't wait.

Patrichamo5: Thank you so much! I hope Momo's advanced language doesn't confuse you but I appreciate you reading it all. (ps. Your English is great! Learning another language is hard so good work. Ask if you don't understand anything :D)

Patrichamo5: Momo has a rock style but is able to do cute as well. It mainly depends on the stage that she's doing to determine the style. She just prefers rock. Think kind of like Seira. (No need to be sorry)

Trivia: Dachi-Dachi was going to be introduced in chapter 12 instead of the gaming company. Yet I felt that during that time it was a bit too early to make Momo and Fumiko representatives of a company and have something made in their image. Plus, it wasn't really a duet sorta thing so I pushed it aside and thought it would be good for Charlotte. If you're interested Charlotte's plushy is basically a Zapdos from Pokémon.