DISCLAIMER I DO NOT OWN AIKATSU
TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF EATING DISORDER AND UNRESOLVED TRAUMA
"I still don't understand why we have to help out. If Suzukawa is so smart and resourceful, then hire people to go pick up the food. Why does she have to waste our time to do something in free labour?" Ayano, very carefree, slung her arm over her sister's shoulders. Making the younger of the two stumble over the sudden weight on her. Not that Ayano would let her fall onto her face.
"There goes your sour mouth again. I thought that you were going to play nice after what happened at Rock Fest?"
"I never said anything like that! She just-" she became flustered, remembering how well Momo performed that day. "She's a good- She's not a good idol! But she is good at attracting people's attention- not at anything else! Okay maybe she has a good voice too but not better than mine. A very basic level that any idol should have. Nothing to praise."
"Coming from you? That is a compliment. And it's because of her that you're going to be given major publicity and the opportunity of a lifetime this summer. A chance to study across Japan under Shibuki Ran herself. If I had known that that was the prize I would have scaled that mountain faster than a monkey. Now I'm just left behind without even my muse to comfort me."
"Don't be so dramatic. It's only for the break and your next collection is already lined up. You shouldn't have any issues." But the issue that the younger failed to remember was that it wasn't that they were only separated for a few weeks. When the new year rolled around, Ayano would have graduated from Dream Academy by then.
With how well Chameleon's Skin was doing, it wasn't hard to decide to just continue being a fashion designer. At the same time, it wasn't in her choice to graduate either. She wasn't troubled by what's to come for her career like her classmates. She worried about Kikyo once she graduated.
Sure this was an amazing opportunity to go study under Shibuki Ran. Yes her sister would be gaining a lot of experience that would be extremely unique and help her tremendously with her future activities, but what happens when she comes back? Will she be someone different? Will there be too many expectations on her from all the extra attention? How much further will she be when they have just started to reconcile their relationship?
"You're not going to miss me?" She said half jokingly.
Kikyo could tell there was something off with her sister's question but couldn't understand what. It wasn't often that she showed her negative emotions to the younger. Even when they formed SELF, there were plenty of times when Ayano made her use her age as a reason to protect her. How she reacted to her question was one of the biggest mysteries of their relationship.
"I'll buy you some souvenirs so don't be too down."
"Take lots of pictures too! I could create an 'across Japan' line up with that. Traditional kimonos versus more central Tokyo pop culture in one release. Take pictures of you in those types of styles too!" Ayano tried to take out her sketchbook to note down all the designs that started to flood her mind when her sister stopped her hand.
"Hold on, we're almost at the shop. The faster we get these lunchboxes, the faster we can get to the party and make connections with all the talents."
"You mean the faster you can go fangirl about all the people there."
Kikyo glared at her sister. It was the main reason that she agreed to help Momo with the set up after all. It was one thing to be able to make an impression on some of the biggest names in the industry. It was a completely different motivation when she purely wanted to meet those that weren't even in the industry anymore. She would never admit to the parents that the one she rivalled the most was the one she wanted to meet the most out of the guest list.
"Don't embarrass me tonight."
"Trust me, you're the one going to be embarrassing me tonight. Or in a few seconds." Kikyo looked up to see that they had arrived. She held back her squeals but the excited, quick steps she displayed were the dead give away.
Nandemo Bento. Momo had put them at the top of the list of places that would help cater the party. And with such a large order, having both of the sisters going to help out was the least she could offer. Both Ichigo and Ringo had told her that it wasn't necessary but they never could win an argument against her. Truth be told, they did love the idea that Momo had people that she could be asking for help from in the first place. Having some extra hands around was welcomed anyways.
"Welcome!" Ayano was the first one to step into the shop. The smell of a variety of food greeted them with the energetic welcome, that all of Kikyo's nerves just melted away.
This was the atmosphere that the store always had on them even when they were bright eyed kids that would visit only to meet Hoshimiya Ichigo. It had been so long yet they still remembered how kindly the former idol treated them as kids. They haven't visited since they had both started to take music/ fashion seriously. Both choosing to focus on possibly making their careers rather than chasing after those in the past. Returning here to actually help out in the store after all this time felt surreal.
Popping her head out under the store's back curtain, Ringo was almost surprised to see that the helpers her granddaughter had sent her weren't in Starlight uniforms. That just made her even more excited to be working with them. Her granddaughter must have grown a lot from the last time she had seen her.
"Oh hello there! I take it that you two are going to be my helpers today? Wow, Momo didn't tell me that she was sending the Inoue sisters!"
The two were surprised that they didn't have to introduce themselves. "Do you know us?"
"Of course! You two used to visit when you were kids, didn't you? I'd never forget my customers' faces. Especially those that visited so often. To think that you two would become idols at Dream Academy. I'm sorry I don't keep up with idols much these days, outside of what Momo tells me."
"No- no don't apologize! I'm only a first year that I need to get my name out more often in order to become popular enough to reach your daughter's legacy. Besides, we're more than happy to just be back here to help. Thank you for treating me and my sister so well back then as well." Kikyo whacked Ayano on the back to roughly signal to her to bow as well.
Ringo giggled at the two of them bickering with their eyes. Ichigo and Raichi never really fought that much that it was always small squabbles just like this. It had been a while since such young energy was in the store like this.
"It's nice to see that you two are still as close as ever. How have you two been? Enjoying Aikatsu?"
"Yes!"
"Yes ma'am!"
"That's good to hear. I'll be sure to cook up delicious meals for you two so make sure to drop by often. Any friends of Momo get a special family discount and a heaping pile of warm food to greet you."
Ayano slapped a hand over Kikyo's mouth before she could decline the offer. "Thank you! We'll be sure to come as much as we can to keep you company. We'll also repay you in our labour. Whenever you need some extra hands, please call us!"
"I'll be sure to consider it. Though I'd hate to impose on that offer so fast. But Momo was right in the fact that I've overestimated how much we could make. I could really use your help if I want to make it all in time for tonight."
"You can count on us!" Ringo smiled and led them to the kitchen.
"There really isn't a lot left to do besides packing it all up and into the van. If you have any questions, feel free to ask my other little helper."
They both got a bit excited at the mention of one another person that would be with them. While it wasn't Hoshimiya Ichigo, neither were disappointed in who it turned out to be. Ayano skipped over to them before she could take it in their appearance. "Headmistress Orihime! It's been so long! What are you doing here?"
Kikyo could only look in horror as her sister spoke so informally at the former Starlight academy headmistress. What more, the half of the legendary duo, Masquerade. Not only were they in the home of Hoshimiya Ichigo, they were now in the presence of Hime? Kikyo convinced herself that she was dreaming.
"Oh? Ayano-san? It's nice to see you again. How are you doing? I heard that you recently decided to continue your idol activities." She peered behind her to see Kikyo absolutely frozen in shock. "Is this the sister that you've told me about?"
"You- you- you told H-hime about me? You know Hime? And you didn't tell me?!"
"Oh come on, I do not have to tell you all my connections sis. But if you must know, Headmistress Orihime and I met a few times when I was establishing Chameleon's Skin. She and Headmistress Tiara worked with me a lot since I couldn't handle the weight of being an idol and a designer at the same time." She turned back to Orihime. "Thank you again for all the guidance that you've given me."
"Don't think much about it. Anyone in my position would have done the same. It's great to see you doing so well." Orihime tilted her head when she saw the flicker of sadness against her face. Not only as the former Headmistress, but someone that had worked with closely with Ayano in the past, she knew how the designer tended to act.
Slightly turning to her own former unit partner, the two shared a look that instantly shared a message. "How about we do this? Hime and Ayano-san can you finish packing everything up? Kikyo-san, you can come with me to put everything away in the car and make sure we have everything before we set off."
Before Kikyo could process what was happening, she was dragged off to a different part of the store. Ayano didn't question the decision of the two adults as she sat down next to Orihime and started packing the boxes. "Isn't my sister just the cutest? Just like I told you, she is my greatest muse still 'till this day."
"She really is a diamond in the rough. From what I remember about her debut until now, she has been growing at an exponential rate. You on other hand, seem to have a thing for hitting ruts."
Ayano laughed and neatly set a rice ball down. The smile on her face remained present as she was habitually taught to maintain. "Aw shoot. I was hoping that I could trick you this time. As expected as the former headmistress and top idol."
"Think of it as a charm point of yours. Unlike your sister who can hide her true self under the spotlight, you are quite easy to read. Want to tell me about it?"
"I'm graduating. You said it, my sister is so good at hiding herself. She's short tempered, her skill and determination can be overbearing to those around her. Besides Shouta-kun, I don't think anyone is really seen as her friend in her eyes. What happens when I leave Dream academy and I'm not a dorm's walk away? True, we didn't really reconcile until after I decided on my idol activities, but my door was always unlocked for her to come to me."
"So this is less about graduating but about Kikyo-san?"
"It's silly isn't it? Even she doesn't bat an eye about travelling practically solo around Japan for almost a month. She's been independent since she learned she could be. Maybe I'm the overbearing one that can't let her go. But I really don't know who I am without her constantly showing me. I started my designing on her suggestion because I was constantly dressing her up. I stood on the stage for the first time because it was beside her and found a love for it. If my muse falls, and I'm not there to protect her, where does that leave me?"
Orihime picked up the rice balls that Ayano kept delicating handling. Despite having the bare minimum experience in the kitchen, it was amazing how she already got a hold of what to do.
"You know your sister isn't a hypnotist?" Ayano's movements didn't stop despite the strange statement. "She's an idol. What an idol does is subjective to many but to me, the core of an idol is to inspire."
Moving the finished boxes to the stack that were ready to go, Orihime picked out one that was completed prior to the sisters' arrival. "I think all Kikyo was doing was pointing out what you already had in you. She didn't make you start designing simply because you liked to dress up. You have a talent to see miniscule details around you and not just recreate it but create a new."
She set the finished box next to the one Ayano was working on. Not only had Ayano managed to know exactly the contents required in each box, she had rearranged it to be colour coordinated. Not exactly practical in how people actually want to eat their foods with the sauce touching the dry foods; visually it was beautiful.
This was a show not only of her talent, it showed her many years using her hands. Everything was meticulously placed without a shred of lost focus during a conversation. She didn't even do it consciously. It was a habit to make things beautiful without changing the base. That's what Kikyo saw in her sister.
"Have you ever seen yourself on stage? You may not be as musically trained as your sister, but you are no laughing matter. Take that from me. You may have first stepped on because of her but that doesn't mean you wouldn't stand on there without her. If that was the case then you wouldn't have kept up your vocal training when she wasn't enrolled. You wouldn't have wanted to go back after knowing such. Ayano-san, you desire to create and show off. That's what made you an idol."
Ayano looked down at her hands. There were calluses that she developed and never got a real chance to heal from how much she worked them. She always looked at them with pride. While she loved when people praised her for her creative works, it was rare to hear compliments of her as a whole. As an idol, especially compared to Kikyo, she feared that being alone would cause her to fall.
"But it's still scary to think that Kikyo is able to move on while I can't."
"Yeah it is. But luckily you have your muse one phone dial away. And though you view your sister as someone lacking in friends, you are nothing like that. Kikyo-san is your muse. That's a fact. But I know that she is not the only thing that inspired you before. You, who has the ability to see beauty in others, if you fall then all you have to do is look at those that who have inspired you before. If she falls, then I have no doubt that the one that has constantly supported her from behind could pick her back up. Have more confidence in your skills because anyone that's seen you can vouch for you. Even if you're stuck in a block for a bit."
The former headmistress grabbed her phone off the counter. Ayano jumped when her own phone in her bag suddenly started ringing. She didn't have to take it out as Orihime showed her phone screen. "Just in case you need another pick me up from me."
A true smile finally graced Ayano's face with a quick wipe of the corner of her eye. "My muse might try taking my phone to get your number."
"That's fine. I expect her to use it responsibly."
Continuing to pack the few remaining boxes, Ayano took a deep breath. "Do you think we'll be okay?"
"Yeah. I do." She released her breath with relief. That's what she needed to hear above all. The fact that it came from such an honourable source was just the cherry on top.
On the other side of the house, Kikyo was absentmindedly moving boxes like a robot. Still in shock at who she just met, she couldn't form any words to describe how much of a privilege it was to merely be in her presence. She forever thanked her younger self for deciding to become an idol.
Ringo watched with amusement. Though the girls had been in the store many times, they had never once pieced together that Ringo was Miya of Masquerade. Now thinking about it, the fact that Raichi and Momo were able to do it with no hard evidence was impressive. Her own daughter not even understanding until she had straightforwardly told her.
"If I'm remembering correctly, you reacted the first time you guys met Ichigo and Naoto-kun. Should I convince her to give you an autograph?"
That snapped her out of star struck trance. "No, I couldn't possibly bother her with that! Huh? Though, why is she here out of places? Did Suzukawa manage to drag her here to help out? How rude to make her work like this when she's retired!"
"Oh not at all. Hime and I go back a long way. When she found that I was helping out with Ran-chan's welcome back party, she came down here on her own to help out. We've been mainly using this time to catch up."
"Ah I see. But to make all of these while chatting is really something. They already smell so nice that I can't wait to eat them." She scanned the boxes within the cardboard boxes. Though she hated Momo for making her work, she was glad that she could be of some help to the woman that treated her well as a kid.
"That makes me glad that I haven't lost my touch. You two haven't been around in so long that I briefly wondered if you had gotten sick of my food."
"Of course not! It's kind of embarrassing but I just wanted to focus on my music training that I couldn't be distracting myself by hanging around here in hopes to see your daughter."
"Funny how that works out as you ended up becoming friends with Momo in the end."
She resisted the urge to frown at that. "Y-yeah."
"Huh? Is that not the case? I would have thought that you two would have gotten along. Momo was telling me that my helpers today were people that she trusted well. Are you two fighting?"
"We're not fighting. Just a... small rivalry." She thought about why she always got angry at the idea of Suzukawa Momo.
The sole daughter of Hoshimiya Ichigo and Suzukawa Naoto. She had a history in music from a young age, a good personality and with an in depth understanding of the behind the scenes of the entertainment industry. She was an ideal type of person to go into Aikatsu. Instead she wasted years' worth of training to stop.
Then when she decided to continue due to some random boy on the street, she was nothing like people expected. Her debut was a mockery of those that didn't understand the guidelines put in place for first years. Using the Starlight festival to promote the queen's other side was dismissive of the tradition to have the queen perform. Then the mess that was the scandal that shouldn't have even been an idea in her mind in the first place. Losing her cards didn't even need to be mentioned.
What happened at the Rockfest was a show that she had talent. She never could deny that fact. Nor that fact that those that she drew to her had managed to grab the public's attention better than her in that moment. Including, reluctantly, herself. She even managed to grab her own sister's designer side to get a personally made coord for her.
"That's good. Aikatsu wouldn't be half the fun if it wasn't for the like minded challenging each other to improve yourself."
She tilted her head a bit when a small, aura-like, light floated past her. "Ma'am, did you use to be an idol?"
Ringo waved off the idea. "I'm just a little old lady. But even I had thoughts of standing on stage every once in a while."
"That makes sense. Imagine though if three generations of your line became idols. That would be a story." She tighten the belt on the stack of boxes, none the wiser to the truth in front of her. Stepping back, she gave a small shake to make sure that it was safely secure. "That should do it. I think we just need the remaining boxes in the kitchen. What is Ayano-neesan doing for so long?"
"Let's leave them for a bit longer. We're in no rush."
"Still. Ayano-neesan has the tendency to put things off last minute. She may be really good with a needle but she can be really dense. Sometimes when she gets invested in things. I hope she isn't bothering Hime too much. Maybe I should go check on her?"
Ringo took a seat in the remaining space of the car trunk. "You remind me of Raichi when Ichigo first enrolled in Starlight."
"What do you mean?"
"It's tough being without your sister, isn't it?"
"I mean, I guess so? Though now that I'm enrolled in Dream Academy and we formed our unit, Ayano-neesan has been clinging to me as much as she can."
"Does it bother you?"
She pouted with her arms crossed. "Of course it bothers me. She still views me like a kid as if she isn't any better. We're only 3 years apart. It's not that big of a difference that she can be thinking that she's responsible for my well being. I'm a very accomplished idol on my own. As the designer of my main brand, my unit partner, and my older sister I really need her to stop viewing me as a child. She doesn't even let me know about her own worries. It's not fair."
Through the entire time speaking of her complaints, the show of concern never left Kikyo's face. Her body showing the same as she didn't take her eyes off door. Raichi would often do the same even if he didn't realize it. Even more than Ringo, Raichi would be the one to critique Ichigo if she ever messed up on a broadcast. Only to have the older one brush it aside with a laugh. Still, as much as he admired her to be a constant pillar in his life, he often wondered if she ever allowed herself to lean on him if she ever needed it.
The Inoue sisters were consistently around one another. To not notice the other's concerns would be impossible. Yet it was because they had already had this imbalance in their relationship that made it much harder to see eye to eye. Both wanted to care for one another. Ayano only wanted to be a shield for her younger, more innocent sister. Kikyo didn't want to give in as it would only show that she had weakness, making it harder for Ayano to confront her about her own troubles.
Both of them cared about their sisters to not let other in; creating a loop of what was allowed in their relationship.
"When you were kids, Ayano-chan was the one to speak to Ichigo and Naoto-kun because you were too nervous to speak. When Ichigo was younger she would like to take Raichi's hand through a festival to get to the booth he wanted. Being siblings, being a duo unit, is about caring for the other. This is their way of doing it. They may seem silly or like to mess around but you know it just as well as I do that they can be more than reliable. So you don't have to be so worried about her."
"But if she falls, if she starts to doubt herself, she won't look to me for help. Why? Because I have terrible people skills. Because I'm weighing her down and there's nothing I can do. I'm a kid that doesn't have any friends besides her own sister. I wouldn't come to me for advice or comfort if I were here either."
Ringo patted the spot next to her. "May I offer some advice? I think I may know a way to get Ayano-chan to slowly stop treating you like a kid."
"I would love to hear that." She sat down with an exasperated sigh.
"The best thing you can do for someone that cares for you is to help herself first."
"I do care for myself. It's hard with my kind of schedule but I always make sure to space out my works so that I can get a proper rest, exercise and diet. You don't have to worry too much about me. That is just another thing that I need to worry about for her. Do you know how often she spends sleepless nights? Especially before releasing a line?"
"I don't mean it like that." She placed her hand over her's. "You already know the points that make her worry about you, and yet you don't improve that. All you do is care about her worries that you don't fix your own. How can you expect her to come to you when you, yourself don't rely on yourself? How can you expect your fans to follow you when you look at the idea of an idol as a perfect human being? If you want Ayano-san to look at you, you have to allow them to see your weak points as well. Communicate them together and work on it together."
Kikyo nervously rubbed her hands together in a slow circular motion. "Isn't that worse? How can you rely on someone that is so weak like me?"
"Have you ever tried?" She was going to shake her head when she remembered Shouta and the Pon Pon crepe commercial. It was only then she allowed herself to be vulnerable to ask the director to change their roles. At that time, it was because he let his guard down that she did the same without knowing.
It was what made her recognize him as an idol. As a human being. Now whenever they worked together, she looked for him to speak what she never could. He was stronger than she ever could be because he could do it for other people. Could she be both weak and strong at the same time?
"From the look on your face, it seems that you know your answer now."
"I just... I don't know what's going to happen..."
"It's scary but I know you two- no- I know that all of you pursuing your dreams will be okay." Kikyo didn't know what it was about her voice that offered such a warmth reassurance that built up tears in her eyes. And for once, she didn't feel ashamed to let them out. If anything, she felt stronger from it.
When asked if she could perform the hardest task for the party, Char didn't hesitate to accept Momo's request. To her surprise it was in helping out in Otome's daycare to allow her to attend the party in a timely manner. Momo did believe in Otome to try her best to make it on time but she could only get out as fast as the children did. That was always going to be a flip of the coin chance with children and parents.
That's why it was tasked for Char to help out in the daycare to make sure things run smoothly that once all the kids were out then so were they. Easier said than done. Though many of the children had already met Char when she volunteered here, it never ceased to amaze them that they got to meet THE Char. To be fair, many of them were followers keeping their eyes on the Royalty Cup. To have the queen, maybe soon to be second time queen, in their small daycare right before the event kept them on edge.
Finally she was given a moment to rest on the swing set as the workers got the kids prepared to head home. Luckily the swing set was in the enclosed section of the daycare that the parents could barely see her. It also gave her some view of the inside section where a bunch of the kids were still running around. Her eyes paying close attention to Takahashi Ayumi.
Ayumi was a pretty regular girl based on all the interactions they had. But that wasn't saying a lot. Char didn't really get the chance to interact with Ayumi that wasn't similar to a fan and idol interaction. Which did technically make sense considering that Char was created for this specific girl. At the same time, it was because of that reason that it made it even harder to be a proper older sister for her.
The strange thing was, they weren't even that much further or closer to one another than Charlotte was. She briefly wondered how Ayumi viewed the two of them. If she could properly differentiate between the two of them. She was one of the few that wasn't afraid of Charlotte that many would think of them close. Little did people understand why that was the case.
"You worked hard today Char-tan." Char slightly jumped when Otome appeared beside her with a water bottle.
"You as well, thank you."
Otome took the swing seat next to her to see where she was staring off to. "Ayumi-tan is always the most excited when you come visit."
"I can imagine."
"Though that's not saying a lot for a queen. A lot of them have been very interested in possibly going into Aikatsu as well. You may have some hard competition coming in the next few years."
"I think I have some hard competition this year alone. Those first years are something extreme. Since I saw their auditions, those that I watched closely and gotten the chance to work with personally have all grown at an amazing rate. It won't be long for any one of them to overtake me. Including Charlotte and those not in Starlight."
"Does it make you excited? Ooo I am a bit bias that I'm looking forward to Momo-tan's performance the most. Can I get a spoiler as to what you're planning? Oh- no wait- no I wanna wait- no- oooo I can't decide! It's all too exciting!" The swing's chains kept jiggling with Otome's happy movements. They both knew how big of an event this was in general. This year in particular had some of the most highly respected line up since Ichigo and Akari's time.
"I actually want to lose."
"Lose? Why?" Char started to kick her feet a bit.
She thought back to when she first enrolled in Starlight. Then she thought of Charlotte's debut. It wasn't equal to compare the two events. Not only were they on completely different levels, it was also about the reaction towards it. From the start, Char was the special idol that people couldn't look away from. Meanwhile, Charlotte had to slowly earn that attraction.
But there was without a shadow of a doubt in Char that Charlotte was the more impressive one. To be able to continue your dream with all those inadvertently telling her that it was impossible was admirable. And she proved everyone wrong. With her debut at Starlight's anniversary, people praised her for finally standing on that stage she always longed for. Creating her own personal doll let people see her beyond her chilling eyes. Participating in the idol trivia show displayed how much she truly loved Aikatsu and idols.
To Char, an idol wasn't someone that was perfect. It wasn't the way that Charlotte made Char out to be. And what would be the best way to show that than to lose? An honest and fair competition between all those different styles and views, Char couldn't see her possibly winning. She was more than welcoming towards that idea.
"I've been at the top since the start. Losing means that someone was just a bit more deserving of the title. It makes more room for me to improve. It proves that perfect does not exist."
Otome nodded with a soft smile. "As a Queen you represent the ideals and image for all idols. And that doesn't mean perfect to you?"
"It really doesn't." As it shouldn't. Char may be able to draw everyone to her, but she always was distant from everyone else. Her fans, classmates, and family. Specifically, family. Being perfect meant not being human. An idol, down to the core, was a human with many flaws and many more qualities to admire.
"Then you should understand that there's something that still makes it impossible for Charlotte-tan to win against you."
"Knowing Momo-chan, I think that she sent me here for the same reason as well. Please take care of her where I never could."
"Char-tan is so love you!" Otome reached across the swing seats to hug Char.
Slowing down her breathing, Char switched to Charlotte. Being suddenly called out, Charlotte took a second the process the arms she was in. While Char and Otome were relatively close, Charlotte still very much looked at her like she was in her idol days. "O-Otome-san? Is everything okay? Did Char say something to you?"
Otome pulled away. "Nope. Nothing at all. Actually I was just talking to her about her performance for the Royalty cup. I would love to hear what you have prepared as well."
"M-me? Um well it isn't anything that special. Char and I both got our premium rare coords already set that I'm more worried that I'll mess up when it comes to the actual performance. I would never let myself down if I made a mistake at my first Royalty cup."
"Well you'll be pleased to know that we'll be watching the broadcast live here at the daycare. Ayumi-tan has been bouncing off the walls since the competition was announced for this year."
"Ah, is that so?" Otome sadly noted the difference in reactions between the two of them. Where Char was more neutral about the idea, Charlotte was nervous about it. Not only that but since switching personalities, Charlotte had kept her head down to Otome as if trying to hide her eyes.
"You know, Ayumi-tan is pretty smart about popular idols nowadays. It would be a good idea to run your stage ideas by her. She may give you some pretty interesting insights to improve your chances of winning."
She, unconsciously, shrunk herself more. "I'll ask her later. Thank you."
"Will you really?"
Charlotte weakly played with her hands. "Of course I would. Why wouldn't I?"
Otome pouted. Charlotte was a lot more dishonest about her feelings than Char was. She liked to put up the front that she was perfectly fine alone. That being feared by those around her, or that she didn't need others, was her norm. It made her upset that someone so close to her could ever feel that way.
Jumping up from the swing set, Otome rushed behind Charlotte to give her a big push. In the panic Charlotte grabbed hold of the chains. The older was surprisingly still pretty strong given how much she got off the ground.
"Otome-san!"
"Don't worry I'm good at pushing people on the swings!"
"I'm very sure but- AH!" Another push sent her even higher.
"Hmmm maybe I'll stop if you're a bit more honest!"
"I am being honest! I'll talk to her!"
"Really?!"
Charlotte tightens her hold on the chains. "But that doesn't mean she'll help me!"
Her swinging came to a sudden halt. The air being taken out of her chest from all the changes. Taking a few deep breaths, Charlotte recollected herself. She curled herself in. "Ayumi is still afraid of me. I don't want to scare her. I never want to scare her. I don't want to scare anyone."
"Oh Charlotte-tan, you've grown a lot since your debut."
"Not enough." She remembered back to the first time Char had come out. It was her sister's words that created a fully different persona in her. It wasn't solely Ayumi that expressed fear that day. Charlotte was the same. Deep down she knew. If her sister that inspired her couldn't accept her, then what did that say about everyone else?
More than Ayumi or anyone feared her, Charlotte feared other's eyes on her. At the same time, she loved the attention when they watched her softly. She loved standing on stage where she was doing something she loved. It was the only place that people actually looked at her. She didn't know what she would do if after all the effort to finally be able to compete in the Royalty cup was taken away from her. Ayumi was the only person that could shut her away again. Just as she did before.
A pair of arms wrapped around her from behind. Otome noted how small the student was. Larger than any kids that she worked with on a daily basis but still so small. She was just a kid. They all were. It was up to the adults to hold their hands through the scary world.
"If she doesn't help you then we try again." She felt her twitch under her hold. "It's scary, I can't imagine what you feel, but I can be there with you."
Otome carefully walked to the front of her. Crouching in front of her she gave off her signature smile. Similar to consoling a crying child, she made herself as small as Charlotte projected herself as. "The world didn't end the first time Ayumi-tan rejected you. It may be hard if it happens the second time. Or even more. But if she's the one you want approval from then you will have to face her time and time again. And each time you will grow stronger. Even if you don't think you do, you are. At the end of the day, she isn't changing you. You change yourself. You became an idol because you wanted to be one. Not the other way around."
"That's easy for you to think. You were a pop idol that still is known to this day for your positive attitude and cheerful personality."
"That doesn't mean that I didn't grow afraid sometimes. That doesn't mean that I didn't see others the same. Whether as an idol or someone out of the spotlight, it doesn't change that I have years and years of experience above you. Whether it's to push you on a swing or stop you from flying off, is it so hard to believe that I can do both?"
An idol that she grew up admiring was acknowledging her. It wasn't only that. Otome was doing the opposite as what Momo did in the beginning of their relationship. Where Momo had kept pushing and pushing for her to take a step forward, Otome was the one taking a step back. She didn't need to rush. While her friends at Starlight were all rushing ahead to get to their goals, Otome was a pillar that remained behind them if needed.
All the teachers and former idols were the same. No they couldn't participate in the Royalty cup but they had already set their example. They didn't need to be moving forward anymore. They could just watch from behind. And that... felt nice.
Rather than having people drag her along, she never realized the reassurance of having support from behind. Sure, her family had supported her but it was different from how Otome was approaching it. She was telling her to have faith in her. When all Charlotte saw in herself was someone that couldn't handle hate, she was told to trust in the words of someone that she admired herself. A former queen that knew the highs and lows just as equally as her.
Charlotte started her Aikatsu because of her love of idols aspiring others. And it would be her love of idols that would remind her that would remind her again how anything was possible for herself.
"Just because you have experience doesn't make you a perfect idol that supports everyone and can handle everything."
"So you do realize that perfect is hard to achieve and you expect yourself to be?" That's when it all clicked to Charlotte. Char needed Charlotte to see that perfect, the ability to not be afraid and shine brighter than anyone, was not needed. That didn't mean that they were bad idols. It made them human. Charlotte was not a monster with cold eyes. She was an imperfect human.
"I may not be perfect but- but scaring people- making those kinds of mistakes is not-"
"Then keep making mistakes! Let people see you! Do not apologize for that. Hide and run away and come back out stronger than ever! Be there for the others for those in the same place. Just never stop! Fill them with the 'love you' energy! Believe in me when I say you all will be okay!" Pumped up with excitement from Charlotte's small smile, Otome pulled her the swing set. Her head up for the first time since they had started their conversation.
"Hayate, wake up. We're here." A gentle shake on Hayate's arm stirred him from his slumber. Rika held back her sigh seeing the young boy's exhaustion.
It was without a question whether or not he wanted to help Momo with her preparations for tonight's party. He was relatively lucky that Rika was able to rearrange the schedule to fit everything in at the last minute. That didn't mean that he wasn't exhausted from the amount of work that he had been exposed to the leading week. Today should have been one of his few rest days but here they were in a shopping mall parking lot to retrieve the party's entertainment.
"Why don't you stay in the car and I go in? I won't take too long."
"Don't be silly. How can I possibly send in a lady by herself? Besides Momo-chan asked me herself to do this. I can't push that onto someone else." He threw on a face mask and a cap to show that he wasn't going to compromise.
Heading into malls like this was always a bit nerve wracking for the two of them. Especially after he became an idol, the amount of advertisements that plastered his face had basically doubled. If anyone had looked closely at him long enough, it wouldn't be hard to recognize his unique features.
When Rika has brought that up to Momo, she reassured her that they wouldn't run into any trouble like that. If they did, the entertainment person that they were going to find would handle it better than anyone else. And while she wasn't one to question Momo, she also didn't understand what that meant. Nor did she understand what she meant by saying that Hayate could learn something from this person.
The whole idea of getting entertainment for a group of idols and industry heads sounded insane in the first place. Whoever this person was must have been a notable figure but no matter how much Rika researched into this mall, there wasn't a person like that here. Even Momo's instructions weren't that clear. Only telling them to follow where people would gather.
And true to that, as soon as they entered the mall, they found that the entire place was filled with a buzz. In a slight hurry to get somewhere, teenagers, kids, and adults were in a slight rush in a certain direction. As they listened to those passing by, they realized that most of them were just following the crowd. Whispers of people only fuel the excitement.
"Leave it up to Momo-chan to pick someone that has this kind of presence." Hayate noted as they followed everyone else.
"That makes me more concerned." Rika mumbled under her breath.
It was considered luck in her eyes that no one had recognized him. Yet. Though as the crowd got bigger, so did the fear that it would happen. With this big of a crowd, they were just asking to be crushed if it got to that point.
Soon circus music started to reach their ears. The energy raised as they reached the part of the mall where the event was taking place. It was like someone had set of a decoration cannon in the open space. For a moment they almost got so entranced that they just let their feet carry them closer to the center.
Fortunately, they didn't need to try too hard to see what the main attraction was when it had shot up into the air. Ichinose Kaede. Through their eyes, the former idol seemed to almost float for a moment. Her smile showed how much fun she was having. To think that it only took one glance at her to be fully pulled into her show.
Kaede smiled only widened when she spotted Hayate watching in the crowd. His silver eyes stood out from how intently he was watching her. She grabbed the corners of her magician's cape and completely wrapped herself in it. A poof of smoke made her disappear. The crowd filled with multiple gasps.
Before fear could set in, another poof appeared next to Hayate. Holding her headset mic away from her mouth, she looked directly at him. "You're Momo-chan's friend, right? Would you like to help me with my final trick?"
"I don't think that would be a good idea."
"Don't worry Rika-chan it'll be fine. Of course I would love to assist you."
"Great!" She pulled the mic back towards her mouth. "Hello everyone! It seems that we are coming up on parting time but do not worry as we have enough time for a final trick. And luckily I have a lovely assistant joining me!"
Kaede took his hand and led to part a straight line through the crowd to the stage. In a way, the way that people stood in admiration, it was similar to how it was as a runway. Except this time he was way closer. The attention wasn't focused on him or his clothes. It was on the former idol that didn't need anything special to attract them here.
No, to say that she didn't have anything special was completely wrong. Only special people could command a crowd of people to keep their eyes on her. A special person could handle that attention and meet the expectations. Ichinose Kaede may have been retired out of the Aikatsu rankings but she was a top idol.
A pull on his hand signalled that she was going to jump onto the stage. And with some assistance from her, surprisingly strong lead, he managed to barely hop onto the stage next to her. The moment they turned to meet the crowd took away his already tired breath. From the audience's cheers and the exhaustion, it was almost like they had already finished the performance.
"Now it's time for our final trick of the day! But first let my lovely assistant introduce himself." She held out a staff in front of him. Noticing her mistake, she chuckled and twisted her hand to change it into a microphone.
Still in fascination with the whole trick, he took it out of her hands to face those watching. "Bonjour tous seut! My name is Ceasire Hayate and I'm a first year at Starlight. I'm not up to Ichinose-san's level quite yet but I'll be in your care today."
"Wow! Is that a bit of French I detect? Tres bien! Pardon my accent. Even my English can get a bit rusty with how much time I spent here in Japan. My little assistant is quite the interesting character today that I can't wait to get started."
Hayate did briefly remember that Kaede was America born but he didn't take it in until this moment. Her actions were clearly not the same as the usual, more considerate, personality that Japanese people were raised with. It almost caught him off guard on how he was expected to react to her. If he was expected to meet her energy levels with her own, he would have to force out of his comfort zone.
"Now tell me, my little assistant, do you have any experience in performing magic?" He shook his head to which she tsked her tongue. "Wrong answer. As an idol, every time you perform its magic. And today I'll be teaching you that specific magic. Now Hayate-kun, what makes an idol good?"
"An idol good? I would say that differs between people but for me, a good idol is someone that is well rounded. In singing, dancing, appearance, acting, subjects like that."
"Wrong answer again! Two strikes already. One more and you might get out before we perform our trick." Many chuckled at her batting motion. "A good idol, a top idol, is someone that can show off their passion. Someone that can inspire the passion in others to come out."
She gestured to all those watching them all. The way their eyes silently shined looking at Kaede. They didn't need to be screaming it out. Their admiration had been visible the moment they arrived at the mall.
"For our final trick today, we will be showing off an idol's magic and making everyone here shine like jewels! And for that to happen we need to have our assistant shine first!" The cheers defiantly excited him but it wasn't enough. He didn't understand the message yet.
"Make me shine?"
A black and white wand lightly tapped on his nose. The lights dimmed leaving only the stage lights focused on them. Even still, Kaede shone brighter than anything. It made him slightly jealous. Since they had walked into the mall, all attention was on her. It looked as easy as breathing to her to change the scenario to match him. It was all changing so fast that he barely processed it himself.
"Correct! Tell me, what is your passion?"
He had a guess as to what he was expected to say. "Aikatsu."
He was met with silence and a flash of disappointment on their faces. Actions speaks louder than words. And what his action currently shows was nothing. There was no spark, no conviction, and no love. The audience could see that too that they didn't respond. Though, they couldn't really tell what type of answer would be correct.
What was someone's passion? The answer differed for everyone. How could anyone say that they had answered wrong? And technically speaking Aikatsu wasn't that bad of a response. As an idol, fans hoped that they supported someone that genuinely loved their career. They didn't understand why they just felt that it wasn't what they wanted when Hayate said it.
"That answer suits you well."
"It does?"
She nodded before hoping off the stage. He took a step forward when he saw the edge of the stage and stopped. He had no idea how she managed to jump off it so fearlessly. Looking over the crowd, he lost track of where Kaede had disappeared in to.
"Aikatsu is a broad term. It can mean anything and everything if you let it be. But the way you are now you still can't see how beautiful of an answer that is. It makes me wonder what I should do to make you show that beauty. Maybe you don't even know that answer yet. You know the distance between the stage and the audience isn't that big. You had jumped onto in the first place. Now suddenly you couldn't step out of it. Was there a reason?"
He took a step back. Surely she wasn't asking him to jump off a stage like she had done. Her comments kept coming back to back that he didn't have time to think about what he should say. "Though I do get it, the stage can be a box sometimes. Especially so for someone stuck in the industry for so long."
"Stuck? No- no I chose to stay within the industry and expand into Aikatsu. And, yeah I may still be learning but I don't hate it. I don't plan on stopping anytime soon." Though the image did flash in his mind if someone of her calibre was telling him that he wasn't up to the test. Yet he had a feeling that that wasn't her intention. Momo had said that he had a chance to learn something from her and he was determined to hear it even if it turned harsh. Not like he hadn't experienced unfiltered comments on his work before since starting his Aikatsu.
The stage screen turned on behind him with Kaede on full display. "Stopping? No no, stepping out is what I said. See, if you truly believe that Aikatsu is your passion then you have to see what an Aikatsu stage can be."
The camera on her zoomed out. In the back of the crowd, people started to form a circle around the located idol. It was amazing to watch from the third perspective. In a matter of seconds, she was able to create her own stage. It was nothing like the one he was currently standing on but it was a mistakenly a stage. That's when he remembered where they where specifically.
They were in a shopping mall. Not a concert hall. She had made all these random shoppers become her fans. An Aikatsu stage, her stage, could be anywhere she wanted it to be. Meanwhile Hayate was on a real stage but couldn't own it. Was that why she was saying to stop? No, she said to step out. He hadn't ever performed somewhere that wasn't a professionally set location. Stepping out meant anything that he wasn't used to. And that was a lot even for someone that was in the industry as long as him.
He remembered back to when he had watched Yuki busk live. That stage was the one that fitted Yuki the most but it wasn't only there that he could shine. Momo and Shouta themselves were constantly going against the norm. It wasn't only stages. It was mindset. Those that he looked up to, the idol currently teaching him now, all of them were not afraid of the new. Yet he couldn't even step off just a few moments ago. It wasn't easy to go against what he was raised to follow.
What he needed was to step out the box that he had been put in since starting his modelling career.
Raised in the strict world of modelling, add on having to fit Japan culture he had to learn second-hand, Hayate was ultimately an idol that didn't like to step out of line. An idol that didn't show passion, didn't show the depths of their heart through the love of their art, couldn't inspire others watching. No matter how much he forced himself to improve his skills, nothing could change if he couldn't make others watch him.
"How do I even start to... change?"
It was exactly as Kaede had said, he had been working as soon as he could. A kid like him couldn't stray from the line. But now he wasn't a kid. At least not like he was when he started. Hayate could be something different. He could step out of the box that he didn't know he was stuck in.
The camera panned the screen to a random store's display. Of course he was one of the clothing line's representatives. The image was a few months old but it would remain at that store for the rest of the year. "You don't need to change. Your skills are apparent in this mall alone. From the start you stood out being of mixed heritage and maintaining a steady career from a young age. The first to debut and gain a brand within your class. Even roughly a few months ago you formed a unit with the independent idol Karasuma Yuki. I'd said you're well on your way to being an amazing idol if you see it to be."
He raised a hand to his warm face making the camera pan to him. Kaede giggling as background noise. This was the first time that he was praised so warmly by someone above him. Compared to his friends that were harsher with their words, her's were not for improvement but of recognition. Something he didn't accept while comparing himself to his friends.
"Then what do I have to do?"
"Well what do you want to do?"
What Hayate wanted was to be an amazing idol. But she was already saying that he was. Then he wanted to improve more. He wanted to say proudly himself that he matched his friends. He wanted to be the one that they come to for help that isn't based off fashion. He wanted to be like Kaede who could make a stage anywhere with no effort. He wanted to perform the same magic as her. The same as everyone he's admired watched on stage.
A smile was brought to his face remembering how amazed he was when they first walked into the mall. Learning from her now made it feel possible that he could do the same one day. From the corner of his eye, he could see the screen watching him. The attention was on him. They may have came because of Kaede's attraction but they were watching him.
He took a step forward. He wanted to see the audience that allowed him this chance. What shocked him was that they were indeed shining. Seeing Rika in the crowd made him realize that it was because of him. His energy was what made them shine.
"My passion is Aikatsu." The words came out naturally this time. It didn't need sugar coating to be special. It needed conviction.
Sitting down on the ledge of the stage, he was now at eye level. People were used to idols like Kaede that would keep the energy levels high at all times. But that didn't mean that he had to do the same. He was fine inside being on the stage he always loved. Watching then so closely but so far was a first for both sides.
With a smile, he shot through their hearts like cupid. "Everyone here is so beautiful."
This was an idol's magic. Showing a passion, showing love, made people shine. And when they shined, idols shine.
Imagine his surprise when loud cheers erupted at the same time confetti blasted on both sides of the stage. "Fantastic! You learn pretty fast my assistant."
Hayate looked down at his hands and then back at the crowd. He may not be able to see his idol aura but he could those playing with it. The lights that they spoke of shined in their happy movements. The little chime that came with their laughs. The shine of their phones recording him. The spark that came off of many of them as if they were idols themselves. They were shining just as he did when he first discovered Aikatsu. And it was because of him.
Kaede, who appeared out of thin air as fast as she disappeared, threw her weight onto him with her arm slung around his shoulders. Maybe she really was a magician with how strange today went. She laughed and gestured to the crowd smiling with them. "Never forget this feeling. This is how an idol should be."
"And if I forget? What happens then?"
"Trust me, this is the first time of many. You won't be able to forget the effect you have on others nor the way they look at you. Display the magic that your learned today to one another and you'll all be okay."
Fumiko looked down at her phone then back at the dark mansion that was in front of her. When Momo had asked her to help in bringing Ran's gifts, she was more than happy to help out. She didn't think that it would bring her to what looked like a haunted mansion. But the location given to her was correct. And Momo must have known that she would react this way based on the clear instructions of 'if you think you're at the wrong place, you're in the right place.' She could have at least made it sound less formal. Of all the things that Momo was slow to pick up, it had to be on texting norms.
Cautiously raising a hand to the doorbell, she quickly slapped the thing like a fly. There was a second before she heard a microphone static. "Hello?"
"H-hi? Um hello there, my name is Watanabe Fumiko. I'm not sure if I'm in the right place but I was sent by my friend, oh Suzukawa Momo, to pick up some gifts?"
"Ah so you're my helper today. I was just finishing up getting ready but please come in." The front gate unlocked and Fumiko swore she saw some bats fly above her head. Though she did have to admit that she was a bit distracted by how similar the voice sounded.
"Sorry for the intrusion." Fumiko spoke out as she opened the door.
The mansion didn't look that scary from the inside. Though it still had a dark, archaic aesthetic to the place, there were a few outliers of bright colours and trinkets that gave her some comfort. Including the beautifully wrapped stack of presents waiting for her to take back to Starlight.
Stepping further in, her attention got caught on some photo frames nearby. From the very first one she became extremely aware of why she was able to recognize the voice. Matching it with how the entire place looked, all the clues were piecing in together. She should have expected Momo to do something like this. A simple task always had something extraordinary twisted in with her involved.
"Hi there, sorry to keep you waiting." Fumiko forced herself to turn around to greet the steps approaching her. Her assumptions about the homeowner being correct. "It's nice to finally meet you in person, Watanabe Fumiko-san, I'm Todo Yurika."
"Momo I know we were placed as roommates by accident but I love you for this." Fumiko quickly rambled in shock. Once she realized that her thoughts had left her mouth, she deeply bowed in respect. "It's nice to meet you, I am Watanabe Fumiko. Oh but you knew that. A-Anyway I'll be in your care today."
"The same. Sorry I still have the largest gift by the dining hall. Do you mind helping me move it?"
"No no! Not at all! Please, lead the way."
Fumiko wasn't sure why but she kept her head down while walking through the halls. Whether it was because it was Todo Yurika's house or that the aesthetic was something that she wasn't used to, she was too out of her element here.
She shouldn't be complaining. Not that she was complaining per say. It wasn't like she had done anything that made her feel uncomfortable. This was not her house that it was only right to respect the owner's choice in decoration. It was all in Fumiko's head that she was intimidated by the script writer. If she was Charlotte or even Hayate, they would have been handling the situation better than she was in the moment.
Her eyes landed on the arrangement on the dining room's table. The middle bowl had a combination of fake fruits. The two vases on either side had fake flowers. But one bowl was almost out of place being off the side. It was filled with a bunch of individually wrapped sandwich cookies.
"You can have one if you want. A lot of people said that it could be pretty sweet though. Ichigo and Momo really like it."
She continued to stare at the bowl. Now with permission, it should have been easy to pick up the plain looking snack. Just one. That's how it always started. A small cookie. The denial for a small break.
Two voices argued in her head. One told her that it wasn't that big of a deal. That it was offered to her and wouldn't hurt anyone to eat. The other voice. It was much louder. It told her that if it was such a small thing, it would be just as easy to stop herself from taking it. That if she couldn't show self restraint for a cookie, then she couldn't do it for anything else. With the Starlight Royalty Cup coming up her biggest concern at the moment was a cookie? She was a failure if she took it. She was a failure that she knew what hole she was falling into right now but couldn't stop it.
"You okay?"
"Y-yeah! I just was thinking that it would be rude for me to take your offer when I'm supposed to be here to help you. Plus with the Royalty Cup coming up so soon, I shouldn't be snacking so carelessly." She internally winced at how fast she managed to come up with such excuses. The old lies were so well rehearsed that the old habit was hard to break.
Then Yurika showed a face that Fumiko was all too familiar with. Ever since Fumiko revealed that she had been dealing with her eating disorder, many people didn't know how to handle food around her. They looked at her with pity and comfort. They walked around on eggshells to see how she felt. Somehow, it coming from an idol that she admired from a young age only made her feel worse.
"Actually I think that I'll save one for later." She forced herself to grab the packet. But she didn't move beyond that. All she had to do was slip it into her pocket and not think about it. Don't take it and feel pity on her or take it and have it weigh her pocket down. No decision is ever without it's consequences.
"You don't have to take it if you don't want to."
"No! I want to..." Her words trailed off when she couldn't continue the sentence.
Picking up the packet out of her hands, Yurika opened it to spilt in half. "Would I be intruding if I offer you half? I would love to take some time to learn about you."
Fumiko hesitantly took the half as Yurika pulled up two chairs for them. She should have seen this coming. Acting was always one of her worse skills. It may have worked before but now everyone was keen in watching her movements. She should have just avoided the bowl in the first place.
"So what do you want to know? My plans for the Royalty cup? How I met Momo? Or are we going to address the elephant in the room?" The smile she displayed was a cracking shield that she was desperate to keep up.
"The elephant in the room would probably be best to talk about first. Though I would love to hear those other topics at a better time." The cookie cracked from how tightly Fumiko held onto it. "I remember reading back that you had developed an eating disorder. I'm sorry if I'm being to invasive. I didn't mean to trigger you."
"No, no it's nothing that you did specifically. I don't- I don't really know what triggers me to be honest. Some days feel fake to me. That I can eat 3 meals and some snacks with no problem. Then some random days, not even when I'm feeling bad, I just... can't. My hands shake holding my chopsticks. I already picture myself throwing up whatever little is in my stomach. All that's in my mind is that I'm falling again."
"Falling? Is that what you're afraid of?"
"That's what it feels like. This time, what if someone doesn't catch me? What if this keeps going and they purposefully don't want to catch me? Is it even okay to ask to be caught when I should be stopping myself from falling?"
Yurika slid a napkin towards her. One that she just stared at. This is what she meant. People constantly were trying to reassure her. It felt nice but there would always be this looming feeling that it would stop one day. One napkin, one single encouraging message from her friends or a legendary idol wasn't going to change her thoughts.
"We're moving up a grade. A whole year has passed since I started. Time moves so fast. Too fast. I'm fine now but tomorrow? The next day? I don't want time to move forward when I still don't feel comfortable in the present."
"Then what is it that you want?" She shut her eyes. Holding her head, Fumiko couldn't stop herself from shaking.
What was it that she wanted? She wanted her friends to stay by her side but didn't want them to come closer to see how much she had not been herself. She wanted to continue to reassure people that she was fine but couldn't properly say it. She wanted to be fine like she claimed. She didn't want to lie when deep down, she truly ever doubted if it could become true one day. She didn't want to be afraid of tomorrow.
"Have you ever thought about how easy life would be if every decision was made for you? I... I always thought that making a choice was scary. Even my first audition, I signed up to every one I saw. I auditioned to be Char-chan's one-day manager because that's what everyone was doing. I only performed with Charlotte at the Starlight festival because Momo asked me to. I never knew what the correct choice was. I don't know what I want. I never have."
"Then I'll ask a different question. Do you want to change?"
"What if I change too much? That people no longer want to be with me because I'm not... me." She flinched when she remembered how sickly she looked before Momo's intervention. The way her purple eyes would usually smile in the mirror for practice turned away in disgust. Her ghastly skin and sinking cheeks that barely moved unless someone told her to. To say that version of her was still her was the harsh truth.
"But don't you all want the same thing? For you to be happy? Would your true friends and family leave you over that then?" For a moment, Fumiko's thoughts came to a halt. It was silent.
"I have to admit that when you play an image for so long, it becomes hard to see who will be with you through everything. It doesn't help that you're in position that garners to many eyes and people wanting to be near the image. But those that you want to keep close do you see them leaving you because of your healing? Do you really want to keep those that would leave the genuinely happy version of you?"
Fumiko thought of her family and the many many reassuring voicemails they left her when the found out. Her old school friends that posted hundreds of messages on their social medias in support of her and mental health awareness. The fans that told their own stories to make sure she knew that she wasn't alone. She thought of those at Starlight that provided her multiple resources and stayed by her side.
Yes, it became a bit suffocating at times but they were trying when she had given up. They heard her out when she had deafened her own voice. She had so many people around her. How did she get so blessed to be loved by so many people? Because she was herself. Through all those phases of her life, she had people love her. And as much people and her change, she couldn't see them ever leaving someone simply because they couldn't understand her tired mind.
She turned her attention back onto the broken cookie in her hands again. The fear of eating or not eating wasn't there anymore. Though she had no doubt that it will come back one day, for today it wasn't here. What was here was her and Yurika, someone that cared about her wellbeing.
"Um Yurika-sama will this ever get easier?"
"It will and it won't. I know personally how it feels to fall and catch people. That's a part of being a human and an idol. But you'll be okay. You and everyone that you hold dear will be okay no matter what paths you decide to take." Yurika was right; the cookie was overwhelmingly sweet.
Stark-Daughter: Sorry that it seems like a sudden decision but I have been planning this kind of ending since the start of the story so I hope that I can properly explain the reasoning within the remaining chapters.
Guest: I'm still here! Two more chapters to go but I will not give up. I'm sorry for the long wait!
Trivia: While I planned which OG characters would have talked to which of my characters a long time ago, I think I should explain my choices in case it wasn't clear why.
Firstly was the Inoue sisters. For Ayano I wanted one of the eldest of the OG cast but not Sora. Unlike the rest of my cast that still have a few years still left in Starlight/ Dream, Ayano was graduating. It was a fear that she had to face alone as someone that loved to be with people. And while she does have friends in her year that face the same problem, getting advice from someone that had more 'experience' in life is better suited. So it was between Headmistress Yumesaki and Orihime. Ultimately I chose Orihime because of Masquerade.
For Kikyo, I wanted someone that knew Momo well and worked well with others. What Kikyo needs is to let go sometimes. She is so set on what is the norm in Aikatsu that anyone that gets in the way of that is impractical. Ringo, being a parent of siblings and spending her entire Aikatsu in a unit, is someone that understands the importance of having people that challenge around you and that being weak every once in a while isn't a weakness. I did consider using Ichigo but the idea of Kikyo constantly having to hold back her distain for her daughter the entire conversation is awkward.
For Char/ Charlotte, I wanted to mainly address their history with Ayumi so I wanted someone with good connection with kids. Not only that but Otome was also a Starlight Queen at one point that they both understand how terrifying, yet an honour, to be awarded that position. When it came down to it, a lot of people tend to forget that Otome had put a ton of effort to be the top idol that she was. Char/Charlotte needed someone that could be a role model of their hard work and kindness, and someone that didn't feel so far away in skill or relationship.
For Hayate, I wanted someone that was completely out of the box. I highly considered Otome or even going in the opposite direction with formal Sakura. I ended up picking Kaede, because 1, she is underrated even in the show. 2, because Kaede would be way nicer than the help I threw at him in the past. Every time that I needed to make Hayate grow I love to make it with a crowd. That's where he truly shines and Kaede since her intro made every turn their eyes onto her. At the same time, Kaede got into Tri-star because she was someone that was unapologetic about herself. That's what Hayate needs the most. He was always someone that looked for approval of others but he needed to acknowledge that he himself is a good person. Falling behind in a lot of skills, yes, but still he is learning and shining at the same time. That itself if an accomplish.
Finally we have Fumiko. Out of all of my characters, Fumiko has it somewhat the worst experience with her development of her eating disorder. And who in the OG cast got it the worst? I vote Yurika because she was the sole person that ever got into a serious scandal that almost ruined her complete image and fell into a slump. Even after that was resolved, a later episode showed her referencing it to that little girl that admired her. And what did Yurika teach her in the end? That she grew from that dark time, that she had people around her to support her, that she loved her job and no one could change her. Fumiko suffered a lot, and this is a real issue that even non idols have to face. But what Fumiko needed was to see someone that she admired to fall and still get back up even when it seemed like everything went wrong.