Remus headed down for breakfast with James and Peter. Remus hung a little way behind his friends as he walked and yawned. It seemed like the full moon was just yesterday. 'Why do the months have to pass so fast?' Remus mused to himself as they walked into the Great Hall.

"Morning," said Sirius as he chewed a mouth full of toast.

"Morning." James said as he slid into his seat next to his best friend. "You're up early."

"Well, early owl gets the worm and all that." Sirius answered dismissively, waving his hand.

Remus took a seat across from Sirius and tried his best act like nothing was amiss. After overhearing his friends discuss his abscesses and injuries last month, he was afraid to show them any signs that he was feeling ill this month. Remus was thankful that they hadn't brought up the subject since then, but he didn't want to give them any reason to rehash it. He sat down and put some toast on his plate, mostly for show since he had no appetite for it. When Remus looked up and noticed Sirius studying him and tried to avoid direct eye contact, "Good morning, Sirius." Remus replied as he buttered the toast, making sure to focus on it instead of his friend.

Sirius swallowed his mouth full of food. "Not feeling well again, Remus?" Sirius asked, noticing the dark circles under Remus's eyes and how pale he looked. "Have you seen Pomfrey about it?"

"I..I didn't sleep well last night, that's all, and I have a wicked headache," Remus replied. It was all true after all. He had barely slept last night, and his head felt like it was splitting open. The noise in the Great Hall really wasn't doing him any favors.

"Hmm," Sirius hummed thoughtfully as he downed his glass of pumpkin juice.

Remus glanced over at him from the corner of his eye. Sirius was clearly not convinced, and Remus's stomach churned, hoping that they wouldn't ask him any more questions. Remus slowly nibbled on his piece of toast. He was grateful for James when he diverted Sirius's attention away from him by talking about Quidditch.

As usual, the day of the transformation went by in a flash. Classes, masking his pain, and trying his best to act normal, all things Remus usually did every month. But despite Remus's best efforts, he had trouble focusing in class; his body ached, and his mind raced. Finally, Transfiguration ended, and he immediately headed up to the Gryffindor tower to grab a clean robe before he went down to the hospital wing. He was surprised and a little hurt when he realized none of his friends asked where he was going or even noticed he was gone. Remus let out a sigh, knowing deep down that it was better that way. Less lies and fewer questions to dodge. He thought of his friends and silently wished he could be with them and join them in whatever fun they were having instead of going to transform into a monster. He let out a sad sigh as he pushed the doors of the hospital wing open and went inside. What Remus didn't notice were the three heads of his friends as they peeked around the corner to see where he was going.

"Did you bring it?" Peter asked in a whisper.

"Of course I did. The whole plan hinges on it." James answered as he pulled a long silvery cloth out of his bag. "Alright, everyone under the cloak."

"I love this thing." Sirius said excitedly as he slipped underneath the material and vanished. "Let's go."

The three boys all squeezed under the invisibility cloak together and shuffled down the hall to the hospital wing. Sirius put his ear to the door and heard another door open from inside. Once he heard foot steps stop, he pushed the hospital wing door open just in time to see a hidden panel closing on the far back wall of the hospital wing. "Quickly," he whispered.

The three boys nearly tripped over one another in their haste to get to the panel before it closed. Once inside, they found themselves in a passage and could just make out the figures of Remus and Madam Pomfrey descending the stairs in front of them.

James put out his arm to hold his friends back. Just because they couldn't be seen didn't mean they couldn't be heard. They would have to let Remus and Pomfrey put some distance between them before they followed.

Remus walked beside Madam Pomfrey down the hidden corridor and out onto the school grounds and to the Whomping Willow just like he did every month. But this month, more than ever before, he wished he could just be normal. He tried to think back to see if he could remember a time when he wasn't a werewolf, to a time where the moon and its effects didn't control his life, and realized he couldn't. He wondered if it was better that way, not remembering what he had lost.

"Immobulus," Pomfrey says as she flicked her wand towards the Willow as they approached it, causing it to go still. "Are you sure you don't want me to walk with you?"

Remus shook his head no. Since this was his second year at Hogwarts and he knew the routine by now and how to secure the door properly, he wanted to gain some independence. In the morning he might need her help, but he would cross that bridge when he came to it. He was immensely grateful to Pomfrey for all her care, but he hoped he wouldn't need her assistance in the morning. Allowing him to wake up and get himself sorted offered him a small scrap of dignity the mornings after. Dignity was a tough notion to come by when you were a werewolf. Something about turning into a monster and tearing yourself to shreds every month will do that to a person. But he knew if he was too injured he would need her, and he also knew that she worried about him, even though she had never said so out loud. "No, I'll be fine, thank you. See you in the morning," Remus said, forcing a smile and trying to sound more cheery than he felt as he climbed down into the tunnel and headed to the Shack.

"Take care, Remus." Madam Pomfrey said in a gentle voice as she watched him walk down the tunnel. On her way back to the castle, she said a silent prayer for the young boy and, as always, worried about what condition she would find him in the next day. Although she would never admit it to anyone, it had been two years since she slept properly during the full moon.

James, Sirius, and Peter watched from under the cloak, and once Madam Pomfrey had gone back into the secret passage they had just stepped out of, they hurried over towards the tree.

"Wait, won't it hit us?" Peter squeaked with alarm.

"No, it won't be able to see us." James replied, pulling him forward.

"See us? How could it see us normally? It doesn't have any eyes!" Peter protested.

"It can sense us, Pete. Keep your voice down." Sirius hissed as he saw the Willow start to sway. "Quick, what was the spell she used?"

"Immobulus." Peter said as the three of them fumbled for their wands.

James drew his first. "Immobulus." He said while aiming at the center of the Willow. The branches shook slightly as if caught in a gentle breeze, and then the limbs seemed to slump downward, incapacitated for the moment.

"Nice one, James." Sirius clapped James on the back. "Now let's see what Remus is getting up to." He said as he led the way into the tunnel.

Remus opened the old, battered, heavy wooden door that led inside the Shrieking Shack. He pauses a moment to consider it and silently thanks Dumbledore for the enchantments on it as well as the rest of the structure. As gratefully as he is for it, there is always a small inkling of doubt in the back of his mind: "What if it doesn't hold? What if you get out?' Remus shook his head as if to clear the thoughts from it and closed the door behind him. He could tell by the small stream of light that filtered through the boarded-up windows that the sun was setting. As always, he took off his robe and hid it in the hall closet so the wolf couldn't destroy it. Then he sat on an old, shredded couch, and for the part that he hated the most, he waited. He tried to ignore the barrage of "what ifs" that flooded him when he was hit with the first wave of pain that signaled the rising of the moon. Remus winced and doubled over, taking deep breaths to try to help it. Although he knows nothing will help the pain, it will come as it always did. A small cry escaped him even though he did his best to stifle it.

"Remus?"

Remus's blood ran cold when he heard the voice.

"Remus, where are you?" Sirius's voice called out.

"NO! Sirius, get out of here!" Remus screamed as another wave of pain crashed into him. He heard footsteps running towards him and looked up to see James, Sirius, and Peter entering the room.

"Remus, what in the name of Merlin!?" Peter shrieked as he saw him writhing on the floor.

Fear gripped Remus even more than the shame or the idea of his friends finally finding out about him. Another wave of pain crashed into him. "Get out! Noooowwwww!" The last word came out as a howl as the pain ripped through him again. He felt everything as his bones and muscles shifted, cracked, and reformed. Though it all, he felt the pang of sadness as he saw the look of horror that was written across the faces of his friends who stood there seemingly frozen on the spot. Remus fought against the pain and stood on his trembling, shifting legs. He reached out and pushed Sirius back with hands that were no longer his own; they were covered in thick brown hair, and claws were just starting to sprout. "Please! Go!" The words came out mumbled and rough as his mouth shifted and his teeth grew into fangs. Panic took hold as Remus felt himself being pulled under and felt the wolf clawing to the surface. He half staggered and half dragged himself across the room, trying to put as much space as possible between them and the wolf. Remus knew the distance would do nothing, but it was still distance; maybe it would give them a chance. His last thought before he slipped away was one of terror—of what he would find when he woke in the morning.