Chapter 51: Ted Part 3

Giles walked out of the book cage and dropped a bag of weapons on the table.

"Man, this is killing me!" Xander said as he paced. He glanced over at Paige who had her eyes closed obviously trying to sense Buffy's location. "That bastard was up to something. I know it. If I could get my hands on him... earlier this week..."

"I thought you liked him," Cordelia reminded him.

"I sometimes like things that are not good for me," Xander said pointedly. "Besides, no way no how does Buffy put the big hurt on an innocent man. Nice Uncle Ted was dirty."

"We got to prove that somehow," Willow said as she finished booting up the computer. "Xander, you got a pen?"

"If Buffy has to go to jail because of that creep, I'm gonna lose it," Xander said as he rummaged through his backpack. "He's got to be in there, Will. History of domestic violence, criminal record... ooh, cookies." He pulled out bag of cookies from the mini-golf day with Ted. He handed Willow the pen.

"I don't get it. Buffy's the Slayer, a witch, half-Whitelighter and the Guardian of Pandora's Box, shouldn't she have..." Cordelia said.

"A license to kill?" Xander said as he took a bite of a cookie.

"Well, not for fun, but... I mean she's like Supergirl. Shouldn't there be different rules for her?" Cordelia asked.

"Sure, in a fascist society," Xander said.

"Right!" Cordelia agreed. "Why can't we have one of those?"

"Whatever the authorities are planning for her can't be much worse than what she's doing to herself. She took a human life," Giles said. "The guilt... it's pretty hard to bear and it won't go away soon."

"Giles is right. What she is going through right now is worse than anyone can imagine," Paige said as she opened her eyes. She let out a sigh as everyone looked at her. "She's still blocking me. Either intentionally or unintentionally I don't know." She then turned her gaze towards the ceiling and called out, "Buffy! Please, baby!"

They looked around waiting for Buffy to orb in, when she didn't come they let out a resigned sigh.

"So, Giles, you're taking over tonight?" Xander said as he ate another cookie.

"First Buffy's in no shape to patrol. Second without knowing where she is anyways… The least I can do is pick up the slack. Someone has to," Giles said.

"Let me get Piper," Paige offered. "You shouldn't go out without backup. With Piper's exploding power she can tackle a vampire by exploding their neck. Besides it will get her mind off Buffy."

"Alright," he agreed as Paige orbed out.

Giles looked at the teens. "Continue investigating. Find out some more about Mr. Buchanan, if you can," he said as Paige orbed in with Piper.

"…not sure about this, Paige," Piper said. "I would rather…"

"I know, Piper," Paige said. "I will keep trying to sense Buffy. But Giles needs backup. And you are the only one with a power that could be of use."

Piper sighed. "This is just to distract me isn't it?"

"Yes," Paige said. "You and Leo are sitting around the house moping because Buffy has run away. If Leo had still been a Whitelighter or an Elder I would have done the same with him."

Piper nodded as she followed Giles out of the library.

"Are you sure it's a good idea for them to go out?" Cordelia asked looking at Paige.

"Giles would have gone out anyways," Paige sighed. "Better together."

"Ted's got no criminal record I can find," Willow said. "Damn! The guy's like, citizen of the year!"

"Don't sweat it. Everything'll be fine," Xander said.

"Don't sweat it?" Willow said as she frowned.

Xander smiled, ruffling Willow's hair. "Yeah, cute buddy, we'll work it out. No worries."

"What happened to, this is killing me?" Cordelia asked.

Paige walked over to Xander and looked at him frowning. She then took the cookie from him. "Is this one of the ones you guys got from Ted on Saturday?"

"Yeah," Xander said.

"Willow, test this," Paige said as she handed the cookie to Willow.

Willow's eyes went wide in realization. "You think it was laced with a potion of some kind?"

"Possibly," Paige said.

Summers Home

Joyce was in the kitchen, putting some old pots and kitchenwares into a cardboard box as Buffy orbed in.

"Can I help?" Buffy asked tentatively when she saw what her mother was doing.

"It's done. I've been meaning to clean out this junk for months," Joyce said. "Do you have... homework?"

"I didn't go to school, mom," Buffy sighed.

"Where were you then?" Joyce asked.

"On top of the Golden Gate bridge," Buffy answered. "Thinking. I know you probably don't want to talk about this, but I'm sorry."

"I know, honey," Joyce sighed as she sat down on a stool. "Buffy, I understand why you did it. I do. You were trying to protect us, from a potential warlock. But…"

"I know, mom," Buffy sighed. "It's why I went there to think. I'm going to turn myself in."

"What?" Joyce said shocked.

"I won't tell them I am a witch with powers," Buffy explained. "But I am going to face what I did."

"You can't," Joyce sighed. "Paige glamoured into you last night. She even made sure the glamour had convincing bruises. Sure, they might still be investigating but upon initial look at Paige and the bruises it looked like Ted hit you. If you confess, they are going to question why you were bruised last night and aren't now."

"Makeup," Buffy shrugged as she noticed Dawn standing in the doorway leading into the dining room. She gave her sister a sad smile. "Take good care of mom, Dawnie." She looked back at her mother. "I have to do this, mom. I killed a man." She turned and headed for the stairs and her room to say one last goodbye. "Paige!" she called out.

Sunnydale High School

Willow was in full chemist mode, beakers abubblin'. Xander handed her a solution. She put it on a slide and looked at it through a microscope. "Okay..." she said.

"What do we know?" Xander asked.

"Apparently, the secret ingredient is not love," Willow said.

"What is it, then?" Xander wondered as he looked at his best friend.

"I'm not positive, but I think it's Dematorin. It's like a tranquilizer, keeps you all mellow and compliant," Willow explained. "And it shares a few components with ecstasy."

Paige's eyes snapped open. "Buffy!" she said as Willow and Xander looked at her. "She just called for me. She's at home."

"Tell her we have evidence," Xander said. "Real evidence that Ted was some kind of crook. That she's cleared!" He looked back at his best friend. "Willow, you're the best human ever. I adore you." He saw Willow's skeptical look. "That's the cookies talking, but you rock."

Cordelia joined them, holding a sheet of paper. "Your search finally hit pay dirt. Got some personal records, marriage certificates, and an address."

"Let's check it out. Get our Slayer back on her feet before somebody else gets hurt," Xander said.

"Be careful," Paige said as she orbed out.

Sunnydale Park

Giles and Piper waited for a sign of trouble, any trouble. It was then that someone appeared next to Giles and he spun holding up a cross and saw Ms. Calendar.

"I get that reaction from men all the time," Ms. Calendar said as she smiled wryly.

"Jenny!" Giles said surprised to see her. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw your car back there...I wanted to apologize," Ms. Calendar said.

"This isn't a good time," Piper said.

"If you don't mind, Ms. Halliwell," Ms. Calendar said as Piper nodded in understanding. She looked back at Giles. "I was very harsh the other day. I know how bad you feel about putting me in danger before..."

"Imagine how I must feel now..." he admitted as he nudged Piper, who followed his gaze.

Piper flicked her wrist aiming for the neck of the vampire that was coming towards them.

Summers Residence

"Buffy," Paige said as she orbed into her girlfriend's bedroom. She immediately pulled Buffy into her arms.

"I'm turning myself in, Paige," Buffy sighed.

"We have evidence, Buffy," Paige said. "Ted wasn't what he seemed. The food he cooked, was laced with a drug, a tranquilizer designed to keep you mellow and compliant."

"What?" Buffy said shocked.

"He may not have been a warlock, but he was definitely not up to any good," Paige said.

"That doesn't change anything. I still killed him, Paige," Buffy said with a sigh.

It was then they heard something downstairs.

"Mom?" Buffy called out. "Dawn?" She looked at her girlfriend.

"Their downstairs," Paige said as Ted came up beside her.

Buffy and Paige backed away from Ted confused. If he was mortal he should have been dead. Which meant he wasn't mortal.

"You... you died..." Buffy said.

"That's right, little lady. You killed me!" he said. "Do we have something to say about that? Are we sorry?"

Buffy and Paige looked at each other and then back at Ted.

"What are you?" Paige asked.

"I'm a salesman! That's what she should have remembered," Ted answered motioning toward Buffy. "No matter how you put him down—" He backhanded Paige sending her flying into a wall hard. She slid to the floor unconscious. "—a good salesman always bounces back."

Sunnydale Park

The vampire leapt on Giles, taking him to the ground. Piper's explosion power hadn't worked, the vampire's neck had been too thick to explode for some odd reason.

"Piper," Giles said as he managed to keep the vampire from biting him with his cross. "My bag!"

Piper nodded as she ran over to it and pulled out a crossbow. He punched the vampire, jarring him enough to roll free. He pulled a stake from his coat which the vampire knocked out of his hand.

Summers Residence

Ted came at Buffy as she kicked him hard. He staggered back and she came at him with a series of blows that would cripple a normal man. He smiled as he grabbed Buffy by the throat. "I had to shut down for a little while to get you off my back. You should have seen the intern's face when I got up off the table. It was a hoot. Fun's over, though." His fingers tightened.

Sunnydale Park

The Vampire grabbed Giles, going in to bite him.

"What are you waiting on?" Ms. Calendar whispered to Piper.

"A good shot," Piper answered. She looked at the vampire and aimed for the center of his back. She fired at the wrong moment as the vampire and Giles spun around and arrow hit Giles in the side instead.

"Oh god! Oh no!" Ms. Calendar said as she scrambled to find another another arrow for Piper.

The Vampire let go of Giles as he began to laugh. With grim determination, Giles grabbed the arrow and pulled it from his side. "Nice shot, lady," the vampire said as Giles buried the arrow in his heart. His eyes widened as he crumbled to dust.

Summers Residence

Buffy was beginning to pass out from the pressure of Ted's grip. She glanced to her side at Paige who was unconscious. She then orbed out. When she orbed back in she threw out her hands and fired a telekinetic blast at Ted sending him flying. "You hurt my…" she said, her voice barely more than a whisper from the strangling. She then noticed that as Ted landed there was a rip in his arm from whatever he hit on the way across the room. She saw no blood but instead the spark of circuitry.

"That wasn't playing fair, missy. You're gonna find—" Ted said as his head suddenly snapped to the right, a giant smile plastered on his face. "Hell, of a day! Day like this makes you feel 18 again!" His head then snapped back to face Buffy. "—that I don't like being disobeyed."

"How do you like...being hurt...?" Buffy asked as he advanced on her, pure murder in his eyes.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Dawn followed her mother up the stairs from the cellar with an empty box. "So, you're just going to let her turn herself in?" she asked her mother as she closed the door behind them.

"I don't want to, Dawn," Joyce answered. "But what can I do? Nail her window shut? Lock her in her bedroom? She can leave anytime she wants and neither you or I can stop her short of binding her powers."

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Ted turned and punched Buffy, knocking her unconscious. "Don't worry about me and your mom. We're going to be very happy. He turned and walked out of the room, shutting and locking the door behind him.

Ted's Apartment

"Careful!" Willow said as she and Cordelia followed Xander inside what looked like a machine shop. They looked around the room that appeared dusty and unused. They saw computer and machine parts littering the place.

"Let's look around," Xander said.

"I'll take the back," Cordelia said.

"Check for cookies," Xander said as Willow and Cordelia looked at him. "For evidence."

Willow stood as she leafed through the papers in her hand. "I count four marriage certificates."

"Any divorce papers?" Xander asked.

"Not a one," Willow answered.

"So, either our boy was a Mormon, or..." Xander said.

"Whoa," Willow said looking at Ted's birth certificate. "1957. Ted must be a warlock. Either that or he got married young. Like preschool young."

"Nothing interesting," Cordelia said as she returned from the back. "It doesn't look like anybody worked here, let alone lived here."

"Something's missing. This doesn't seem like Ted at all," Xander said.

"And that rug totally doesn't go with the rest of the décor," Cordelia said as Xander and Willow looked at each other.

Xander pulled the corner of the rug up to reveal a trap door.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Joyce and Dawn were busying themselves in the kitchen when they heard the sounds of footsteps. Hoping to stop Buffy from leaving they turned to confront the young woman.

"Buffy," Joyce said as she and Dawn saw Ted standing in the doorway.

"Warlock?" Dawn whispered to her mother who shrugged.

"Joyce..." Ted said.

"Ted?" Joyce said pretending to be happy to see him. "Is it really... but you were..."

"I'm okay. I'm okay..." Ted said as he walked to Joyce and Dawn. He put his arms around them and held them for a moment before mother and daughter broke away.

"I don't understand this," Joyce said. "You were dead."

"They said I must have been dead for six minutes," Ted lied. "They said any longer and there would have been brain damage."

"Why didn't anyone tell us?" Dawn asked.

Ted shrugged. "Nobody knew! They took me to the morgue and I was unconscious for almost a day! An intern found me. It's a miracle. A miracle."

Ted's Apartment

Xander led Willow and Cordelia through the trap door and into Ted's basement. What they saw looked like something from an old 1950's movie. The kind of thing people had built during the height of the cold war.

"Feels just like home, if it's the 50's and you're a psycho," Cordelia said looking at how the bunker was decorated.

They search the basement bunker for clues. Xander was the one to spot a closet door behind a chest of drawers. "Whatdya got in the closet, Ted?" he asked as he moved the chest and opened the door. What he saw inside was several skeletons. He then slammed the door shut as he headed for the stairs. "Let's go."

"We need evidence –" Cordelia reminded him.

"We got it." Xander told her.

"What's in there?" Willow wondered looking at the closet door.

"His first four wives," Xander answered.

Summers Residence

"You know what brought me back?" Ted asked. "It was you, Joyce. I couldn't go into that light - I had to come back for you. I'm gonna make you so happy..."

Joyce and Dawn looked at each other then back at Ted. "You should sit down..." Joyce said.

"I feel fine. Never better," Ted replied.

"Dawn, why don't you go find your sister. Talk to her, before she comes downstairs and sees Ted," Joyce said as her eyes flicked toward the ceiling as Dawn nodded in understand.

"Okay, mom," Dawn said as she hurried out of the room.

"Do we have to worry about Buffy right now?" Ted asked a little strident, his gaze following Dawn. "How about worrying about Teddy, he's the one that died."

"I'm sorry, I'm just... I don't know what to do," Joyce admitted.

Ted smiled as he softly, took her hands. "Don't I always tell you what to do?" he asked. "I'm gonna make this right, and then you and I—" Suddenly his head snapped to the side again. "—want a little gravy with that?—" He then looked back at Joyce. "—can go away where no one will bother us again."

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Dawn hurried to her big sister's bedroom. When she tried to open the door, she found it locked. "Buffy!" Dawn called hoping her sister's Whitelighter side would help Buffy to sense that her sister needed her.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

"Ted, I think you might want to rest for a while..." Joyce said glancing at the dining room door, listening for the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

"I think you might want to stop telling me what to do," Ted said. "I don't take orders from women. I'm not wired that way."

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Paige knelt down next to her girlfriend, who was beginning to stir. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Not really," Buffy answered. "What in the heck is he?"

"I don't know," Paige said. "But whatever he is, he's strong."

"Dawn?" Buffy said as Paige looked at her. "Dawn's calling for me." She and Paige stood and walked over to the bedroom door to find it locked. "Why that… No wonder she's calling for me. It's locked." She took Paige's hand and orbed out and into the hallway.

Dawn smiled as she hugged her big sister. "Ted's alive and with mom downstairs."

"He's alive?" Paige said confused. "He has to be a warlock. That fall should have killed a mortal."

Sunnydale Park

Piper and Ms. Calendar knelt beside Giles.

"I apologize, Rupert," Piper said.

"I think I'm all right," Giles replied.

"You're just in shock—" Jenny told him as she held him.

"No, really. It didn't go in that deep. The advantages of layers of tweed, I guess. Better than Kevlar," he admitted.

"Your going to the hospital," Piper said. "And I will not accept anything but compliance. Or I will freeze you."

"Yes," Giles said as they began to move toward his car. "OW! Ow. Let's move slowly, shall we?"

Summers Residence

Joyce walked into the dining room, Ted following behind her. "I think I could use a drink," she said. "To celebrate." She glanced toward where the stairs were. She still hadn't heard footsteps. But if her daughter had orbed then she wouldn't hear any anyways.

"We should probably be hitting the road," Ted said.

"Hitting the road?" Joyce asked with feigned confusion.

"You're gonna love the house. It's furnished just the way you like it. I spent a lot of –" Ted said as his head snapped to the side. "—telling me what to do!" He then looked back at Joyce. "—time decorating."

"Well, then, I'd probably better pack," Joyce said as she headed for the stairs.

"I already have your clothes. They're your size, they're always your size," Ted said. "You left me once but I keep bringing you back. Husband and wife is forever. Forever." He grabbed Joyce by the arm. "Let's go."

"Ted, please, let go!" Joyce said. "Get OFF ME!" She wrangled her arm away from him and then she vanished from sight.

"Joyce?" Ted said suddenly confused on Joyce's sudden disappearance.

"Uncle Teddy!" Buffy said as Ted turned to face her, Dawn and Paige who stood in the doorway to the kitchen. "Paige, check on mom."

Paige nodded as she orbed out.

"I don't stand for this kind of malarkey in my house," Ted said as Dawn waved her hand and he went flying into the wall beside him hard.

"This house is ours," Dawn said as Ted sat up. She and Buffy could see that his face had been ripped showing what he was. She looked at her sister. "A robot. Wow!"

"That explains how he could take me on," Buffy said as she raised her hands,

"Buffy...Dawn…" Ted started as he sparked badly as Buffy fired off a telekinetic blast. "How about a nice game or Parcheesi?" As the telekinetic blast hit, he fell to the floor unmoving.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Later that evening Joyce, Paige, Buffy and Dawn sat on the front porch shelling peas.

"You want to rent a movie tonight?" Joyce asked looking at her daughters, though the questioned was aimed at both them and Paige as well.

"That'd be fun," Dawn said.

"Just nothing with horror in it. Or romance. Or men," Joyce admitted.

"Can there be a little romance, Joyce?" Paige asked as Joyce looked at her and nodded in understanding.

"Maybe just a little," Joyce said as she smiled at Paige.

Paige smiled as she turned and knelt in front of Buffy. "With everything that has been thrown at you," she said as she pulled out a ring box and opened it to reveal a diamond engagement ring. "I know you may not be ready for this. But this as well as other things brought to my attention that I do not want to live the rest of my life without finally being married to you, Buffy. Especially when we both know what could be coming if we can't stop it. I've gotten consent from both of your moms and your dad and I would like to ask, would you do me the privilege of becoming my wife."

Buffy looked at Paige in shock for a moment before looking at her mom and Dawn who nodded in encouragement. She looked back at Paige for a moment. She knew Paige was right in asking. Was she ready? Probably not. But if they could not prevent the death the Elders had forewarned them about then she know that she too could not go the rest of her life without finally being married to Paige. She smiled as she said, "Yes." She held out her hand and Paige slipped the ring onto her finger.