Chapter 55: Bad Eggs Part 1

November 3, 1997 – Monday

Sunnydale Mall

Paige and Buffy followed Dawn and Joyce as they walked through the mall. Even though their wedding wasn't till closer towards the end of the school year. Joyce had been very adamant on doing some wedding shopping, especially for both of the brides' dresses. That way the seamstress would have enough time to make any alterations before the actual ceremony.

"Come on, Mom, please?" Buffy begged her mother.

"I'm sorry, honey," Joyce apologized to her eldest daughter. "That was definitely the wrong dress for your wedding, sweetie."

"But... I looked good in it!" Buffy argued.

"Joyce," Paige interjected looking between her mother-in-law to be and her fiancée. "Buffy. Drop it. We'll find the perfect dresses. Okay? After all you only get married once."

"Unless your Penny," Joyce chuckled. "If memory serves me right, she was married four times."

Paige smiled. "Unless your Grams, yeah."

Joyce looked at her watch. "Oh. Stores are going to close and I still need to order the flyers for the showing," she said as she looked through her purse and pulled out a receipt. She looked at Buffy and Dawn. "Okay, I'll go to the printers.

"I'll get the food," Paige offered as she headed for the food court. "My treat."

Joyce smiled at Paige and nodded as she looked back at her daughters. "You two go pick up my outfit from the tailors at Everyday Woman. Here's the receipt—"

"Everyday Woman? Why didn't you go straight to Muumuus R Us?" Buffy teased.

"Come on, Buffy," said Dawn.

Joyce smiled at her daughters before heading off toward the printer. Buffy and Dawn turned in the other direction. They were heading toward the store when they noticed a guy in western-style clothes, who was clearly hitting on a cute girl. The girl sat on a bench outside the store. He stood by her, one foot on the bench. He talked; she laughed shyly.

Dawn and Buffy turned to head into the store, then stopped when they passed a mirror and noticed that the mirror showed only the girl and they realized the guy was a vampire.

"Get mom's stuff, I'll deal with him," said Dawn.

"Are you sure?" Buffy questioned.

"I can do it, Buffy. Besides if I get in over my head I can always call for Paige," Dawn said. She turned and followed the vampire and the girl as they headed off and then turned down a hallway.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Dawn came up outside an arcade she had watched the pair enter. Inside the vampire had the girl up against an arcade machine, kissing playfully. He had his hat off, his face buried in her neck.

"You know... you got about the prettiest neck I've ever seen," he said.

"Wow, you guys really don't ever come up with new lines, do you?" asked Dawn as she stopped a few feet behind him.

The vampire and the girl turned to look at her.

"Do you mind? We were talking here," the girl said.

"But you promised you'd never cheat on me again, honey..." said Dawn.

"Uh, I better go..." the girl said, clearly uncomfortable that the guy she had been kissing had a supposed girlfriend who had caught them.

The vampire looked at the girl and growled. "I am not done yet."

The girl started back in horror, then turned and ran out of the arcade.

The vampire turned and stepped toward Dawn. "All right then, sugarlips. I'm all yours," he said. He lunged for her and she sent him reeling with a series of blows. "You're a rough one, aren't you? I like that." He came at her, trading blows with the Slayer. He managed to get a hold of her and lifted her high off the ground before slamming her into the wall. "A pretty little tidbit like you with so much kick... Have to be the Slayer I've been hearing so much about—Lyle Gorch. Pleased to meet you."

Dawn smiled as she viciously kneed him in the face. He dropped her and she swept his legs out from under him. "Wrong sister and the pleasure's mine," she said as she straddled him. She reached around to the small of her back for her stake and pulled it out.

Somehow, he managed to roll out from under Dawn and jump to his feet. "This isn't over, girl," he said as he turned and ran.

Dawn sighed shaking her head. "Oh, sure... they say they'll call..." she said as she headed back out of the arcade and toward the food court.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Dawn saw that Buffy, Paige and Joyce were already there eating.

"Get him?" Buffy asked as Dawn sat down next to her.

"No," said Dawn reluctantly. "He got away."

"We'll get him later," said Paige. She and Joyce had been filled in on where Buffy had gone.

November 4, 1997 – Tuesday

Sunnydale High

Velvet skin flowed against Buffy's fingertips as she moved her hand up the base of Paige's neck. With her heart hammering against her skin, she licked her lips and cast her eyes downward. There was a small smirk tugging at the corners of Paige's mouth, her eyes glinting with an unspoken. She watched, possessed, as Paige bit her lip in an effort to conceal the grin that was slowly growing.

Buffy took a small step closer, their bodies aligned, and she felt lightning course through her blood stream. She shuddered, "Paige…" she let out wantonly. Her fiancée's hand snaked around her waist. Her own hand moved up Paige's neck, gliding through the soft brunette hair, and pulling the older woman close.

She felt Paige's fingers slide down her other arm, softly tangling her against the brunette's body. Her world was on fire. Here in the darkened room, alone, and unsure, her body ablaze; Paige's breath stoking the roaring fire as it passed from her lips to Buffy's yearning mouth.

The blonde let out a sigh of contentment as Paige leaned forward and rested her forehead against her own. Buffy felt everything slide into place and the world seemed a little righter than it had before. They were both smiling now, challenging each other to make the next move.

Gently easing forward, Buffy crossed the small, yet seemingly infinite, distance.

Her lips pressed softly against—

"S-E-X"

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Buffy's eyes darted to the front of the classroom as she heard the teacher spell out the thing, she had not been able to get out of her mind. A warm blush crept up from her neck and spread slowly throughout her face. There was something in the nonchalant tone of Mr. Whitmore's voice that highlighted the embarrassment she was feeling. Buffy glanced around the room in spite of herself; surely no one could have known what she had just been thinking of.

"How many of us have lost countless productive hours plagued by unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings?"

Buffy's eyes widened in fear and she could feel the heat spread throughout her chest. She scratched at the base of her neck in an attempt to cover the blush she knew was becoming apparent; it suddenly felt like the entire classroom knew what she had just been thinking about. As her eyes darted from side to side, surveying other students' expressions, she was relieved when she heard a loud "Yes!" come from behind her.

Turning, she saw Xander with his hand in the air and nodding along in agreement.

Buffy rolled her eyes and chuckled as Mr. Whitmore explained, "That was a rhetorical question, Mr. Harris. Not a poll."

She shook her head and willed herself to focus on what was happening in the classroom, instead of what was happening in her head.

"Of course, for teenagers such an yourselves these feelings are even more overwhelming," Mr. Whitmore continued. "With all sorts of hormones surging through your bodies, compelling you to action - it's often difficult to remember that there are negative consequences to having sex. would anyone care to offer one such consequence?

Buffy noticed that it was Cordelia's hand to shoot up next. "That depends," Cordelia said. "Are you talking about sex in a car or out of a car? Because one time - a friend of mine, not me - kicked the gear shift in a Miata that was parked at the top of this hill and—"

"I was thinking of something a little more... commonplace, Ms. Chase," Mr. Whitmore interrupted.

Xander, jealous despite himself, shot Cordelia a look and puts his hand up. "You want to talk negative consequence? How about the heartbreak of halitosis? I mean, a girl may seem spiffy, but if she ignores her flossing, the bloom is definitely off the rose—"

Buffy listened as Xander and Cordelia threw insults back and forth and could not help but notice that they seemed to be egging one another on. She had noted a few days ago that there was something different about the way the two had been behaving—Their fights had escalated in frequency as well as ferocity. Buffy could swear the pair seemed charged up when they were in each other's presence. Something was up, she knew it, she was missing something.

Cordelia's hand shot up again. "Like that compares to kissing a guy who thinks the Hoover technique is a big turn on—"

"Okay. Anyone—" Mr. Whitmore said trying to bring the topic back under his control.

"What about having to feign interest in her vapid, little chit-chat just to get some touch?" Xander asked. "Boot cut jeans, pro or con? Can you say - get a life!?"

Xander and Cordelia suddenly realized they were in the spotlight and finally shut up. "Now? Another consequence of sexual activity? Anyone?" he asked. He then noticed Cordelia was about to say something. "—else?"

Willow raised her hand and offered the teacher a real consequence, "What about pregnancy? Unplanned pregnancy I mean."

Mr. Whitmore smiled. "Thank you, Miss Rosenberg! Among teens unwanted pregnancy would be the number one negative consequence of sexual activity. This is partly because some teens think of a baby as a toy, or as a companion who will give them love. The truth, of course, is that a child is a relentless, needy tyrant. So, as discussed last week, I've devised an exercise that may give you some idea of what an enormous burden having your own tiny charge can be—"

The class groaned, but Buffy could barely contain her joy. Normally homework wasn't at the forefront of her priorities with the many priorities that being a witch, a Slayer, a Whitelighter and the Guardian of Pandora's Box brought. But more assignments meant something to focus on aside from her love for Paige and their wedding, or more importantly their honeymoon, that was coming up in a half a year.

Buffy watched as Mr. Whitmore lifted 3 cartons of eggs onto his desk. "Ladies and gentlemen. I present you with your offspring. Now normally I am supposed to pair you off, but I feel like if each of you is responsible for your own egg, then the message will get across a tad clearer. Everyone line up, you're all going to be single parents for the next week."

He held up a small composition notebook. "Every aspect of your child's care will be recorded in this daily log. If your egg breaks - you have killed your child. Naturally, this will affect your grade. Now, please, pick up your children."

The students filed into a line and Buffy watched as Cordelia and Xander fidgeted beside each other. Quirking her eyebrow, she rolled her eyes. She received her egg baby, and an egg for Dawn who had been absent for some reason, right before the bell rang.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

"Dawn? Are you in here?" Buffy asked as she leaned against the front desk of the library, behind her stood Willow and Xander.

"Speak and be heard, Buffy! What's up?" Dawn bounced into sight.

Buffy chuckled lightly at her sister. "I come baring homework. How come you weren't in class?"

Dawn's smile faltered noticeably. "The vampire from last night. Did Mister Whitmore notice that I was tardy?"

"I think the word you're searching for is absent," Xander said.

"Tardy people show," Willow agreed.

"Oh. Right," Dawn sighed.

"And, yes, he noticed," Buffy said. She fumbled around in her pocket for the small white egg before handing it over. "So, he wanted me to give you this."

Dawn's face was the picture of confusion as she held the egg in front of her face. "As punishments go, this is fairly abstract."

"No, it's your baby!" Willow smiled.

Dawn blinked. "Okay, I get it even less," she said looking at her sister for help.

"It's the whole, 'sex leads to responsibility, which I don't get. You got to take care of this egg, it's a baby, got to keep it safe and teach it Christian values," Xander informed the younger Summers sister before Buffy could.

"My egg is Jewish," Willow countered.

"Then teach it that dreidel song," Xander interjected.

"Serious?" Dawn pouted, "I can't take care of things! I killed my gigapet. Literally!"

"She did," Buffy nodded. "She sat on it and broke it." She then looked at her sister. "You'll do fine, Dawnie."

"The only thing that stresses me is, when do we tell them they're adopted?" Xander joked.

"Success at last," came Giles' voice from behind them.

The four teens turned to see Giles and Paige emerging from the stacks. waving his hands about frantically. " Your new playmate is a fellow of some repute, it seems," he said as he and Paige approached. He put the book down on the counter.

They looked at the book and saw an old photograph of two cowboys.

"Lyle Gorch," Paige said. "The other one is his brother Tector. They're from Abeline. Made their reputation massacring a Mexican village in 1886."

"Friendly little demons…" Buffy quipped.

"No, that was before they became vampires," Giles informed them. "The good news is, they're not among the great thinkers of our time. I doubt they're up to much; They were probably just drawn here by the hellmouth's energy."

"Enough said. I propose that Buffy slays them. All in favor?" Xander suggested as he raised his hand.

"Aye," Willow agreed as she too raised her hand.

"Great," Buffy groaned. "Now I have to worry about Butch and Sundance while I'm taking care of junior here."

"I'll patrol with you tonight, Buffy," Paige offered.

"No offense, Paige. But I don't see a lot of 'hunting' getting done in that scenario," Xander interjected with a shake of his head.

"Well I do, Xander," Paige countered. Then she noticed all four of the teens were carrying eggs. "Why do you guys have eggs?"

Restfield Cemetery

Buffy and Paige leaned against a tree, kissing madly. Finally, Buffy broke away. "We should—"

"We should," Paige agreed as they started to kiss again.

"Yeah, this really isn't 'hunting' in the classical sense," Buffy said. "We should get to work."

"You're right," Paige agreed. "Okay." She tried to pull it together, as did Buffy. They slowly walked away from the tree.

"You see anything?" Buffy asked looking around.

"No," Paige answered.

"Okay. Enough hunting," Buffy said as she jumped Paige. They fell to the ground, laughing.

Summers Home

Dawn, dressed for sleep, entered her bedroom with her egg in a makeshift bed. She set it down on her windowsill. "Alrighty then egg dude—" she said. "Okay, Dawn Jr. has had her bath, been fed, burped, and changed." She checked off each item on the list. Sort of. In theory." She looked at the egg. "Okay, kid. Sweet dreams."

An hour later suddenly, a chip of shell spontaneously broke from the egg. And a single, hairy tendril emerged from the crack. The tendril silently snaked across the windowsill, clearly heading for Dawn. It made its way over to Dawn's bed. It slid up the covers, over her legs and chest, winding its way up to her face.

November 5, 1997 – Wednesday

Summers Home

Dawn's alarm went off waking her. She is barely able to raise a weak arm to turn it off.

"Dawnie?" Buffy called from the hall.

Dawn sat up in bed feeling horrible. "I'm up, Buffy," she replied. She stood and walked over to her egg, as she picked it up, she didn't notice that it looked larger than it had the night before.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Dawn followed Buffy into the kitchen, both of them were dressed for school and carrying their eggs in their little baskets. Joyce was pouring herself coffee. Dawn grabbed the cup and took a sip.

"At least eat something if you're going to drink that," suggested Joyce.

"Not that hungry," said Dawn while Buffy grabbed a muffin.

"How goes the parenting?" Joyce asked looking at her daughters.

Dawn shrugged. "Fine."

"Makes me appreciate what you went through with me and Dawn," Buffy admitted.

"I'm glad," said Joyce as she smiled at her daughters. "You sure your eggs are secure?"

"Did I ask for backseat mommying?" Dawn snapped.

"Dawn, are you okay?" Buffy said looking at her sister.

"I just feel all funky," Dawn admitted.

Joyce reached over and felt Dawn's forehead. "You don't have a temperature."

"It's not that," Dawn explained looking at them. "I just didn't sleep well."

Sunnydale High School

Giles walked out from behind the stacks to get more books to shelve. Xander, Willow, Buffy and Dawn were at the bottom of the steps looking up at him. "Oh! Why are you lot hanging about? Don't you have classes to go to?"

"Health got canceled," Dawn told him.

"Mr. Whitmore's out. Couldn't find an egg sitter or something," Xander joked.

"Well, then, can you give me a hand?" Giles queried.

"Where is Paige?" Buffy wondered thinking that Chloe would have already been helping Giles.

"She's running an errand for me," answered Giles. "So?"

"Sure," Buffy and Xander replied.

"No," said Dawn and Willow.

"Dawn, Willow, are you two feeling alright?" Giles asked the girls. "You seem a little sluggish."

"Maybe it's something we ate," answered Willow as she and Dawn sat at the study table.

"Or perhaps it's the burden of parenthood. Notice how seriously both of you have taken this egg thing," Xander ribbed Dawn and Willow. He took Xander Jr. out of his shirt pocket. "While I, in turn, have, uh, well, chosen a more balanced approach." He tossed it into the air and caught it.

"Xander, maybe you shouldn't," Willow began.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," He continued to toss the egg. "You can't stress over every little thing! A child picks up on that. Which is a one-way ticket to neurotic city." He tossed the egg into the air again this time missing it.

Buffy, Dawn and Willow gasped in fright as the egg hit the floor. Xander picked the unbroken egg up while throwing a sheepish grin at them.

"It didn't break!" Willow gasped. "How come it didn't break?" She narrowed her eyes at Xander.

"Which is another secret to conscientious egg care: a pot of scalding water and about eight minutes," the boy replied.

"You boiled your young?" Dawn gaped at him.

"I know it sounds cruel," Xander said, "but sometimes you got to be cruel to be kind! I mean, you can bet that Xander Jr. is thick-skinned now."

"That is cheating." Buffy looked at Xander as she shelved a large tome. At the back of the shelf was an egg.

"No! It's like a shortcut. You know, when you run a race?" Xander tried.

"That would also be cheating," Dawn said.

"You should be ashamed," Willow glared at Xander.

"I suppose there is a sort of Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression..." said Giles.

"I resent that..." said Xander. Then he wondered if Giles was actually complimenting him. "Or, possibly, thank you..."

"Bit of both would suit," answered Giles.

Cordelia walked through the library and up to the table. "Figures, you four are all hanging in the dungeon while something major is going on at Sunnydale High."

"And what would that be, Cordelia?" Xander asked. "Barrette appreciation day?"

"Mr. Whitmore didn't show today."

"That news is of the past," said Buffy.

"He can't be reached. He's missing," said Cordelia. "And presumed dead."

"Presumed by whom?" Giles wondered.

"Well, me," Cordelia answered as if it were obvious.

"I think we might wait a few hours before we give up on him completely," he reasoned.

"Well I think we should look around," said Cordelia. "Don't you, Xander?" She gave him a pointed look.

"It can wait," Xander said.

"You're awfully gung-ho," said Buffy.

"Well, his body could fall out of a closet somewhere," said Cordelia as she continued to look at Xander. "We should check every closet to see if he's in a closet."

"Of course," Xander said catching on to Cordelia's subtle hint. "There could be a closet... Let's go," He and Cordelia headed for the doors. "You guys look for other clues. We'll meet back here."

"We'll get right on that," Buffy said.

Willow watched as Cordelia and Xander left. "Are they getting weirder? Have you noticed the weirdness of them?"

"I don't know," Dawn admitted.

Buffy looked at Giles. "Should we be having guilt about not looking for Mr. Whitmore?"

"I think you can hold off on that," Giles said looking at Buffy. "I'd prefer you save your strength for hunting the Gorches."

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

The Sunnydale High night watchman walked along the corridor checking doors to ensure that they were locked. He stopped at the intersection and glanced each way. To his right the door to the basement stood ajar. He moved over to it. He opened the door wider. The watchman looked inside then went down the steps making no attempt to be quiet. At the bottom he found the doors to the boiler room were open. He stepped in and tried the light switch. Nothing happened.

"Hello?" He called pulling out his Maglite. "Is anybody in here?"

He turned the flashlight on and continued into the room. Just past the boilers, there was a huge hole in the concrete wall hidden behind a stack of boxes. The watchman moved cautiously over to the stack with his flashlight held over his shoulder like a bat, lighting the way but ready to swing if need be.

No one was there. He set his Maglite down and pushed a stack of boxes aside. A tunnel continued on beyond the hole. Grabbing his flashlight again he stepped up to look into the hole.

His was oblivious to the approach of Mr. Whitmore behind him. He would have been shocked to see the teacher carrying a pickax and dumbfounded when the man struck him with it, knocking him unconscious