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9-15-2184
[ MFS NEEMA ]
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He shouldn't have been standing. But he was. Staring at the mirror for the better part of twenty minutes, looking distantly at where an arm was supposed to be.
He wasn't supposed to make it this far. He was supposed to die on that bed and finally be at peace. But here he was instead. The universe handing him yet another joke. Clearly it wasn't done with him yet.
No arm anymore. And there wasn't any getting used to it right now. It felt like a ghost. He still felt it. Still felt his hand. But, at the same time, he didn't.
His dark eyes, teary from both pain and depression, finally closed as he took in a trembling breath. Not having an arm was going to be a drastic lifestyle change. Under normal circumstances, he would've gone off to get a consult from a specialist and have his insurance pay his way through getting a new one. But he didn't live on a planet. He lived in a cloud of star-ships that didn't have giant hospitals and specialists for new arms. Nor did they even pretend to have the luxury of having the resources for such a costly surgery. For now, he would have to get by with just his one.
He sighed, wiped the tears away with his only hand, and settled himself back into bed and closed his eyes. Good timing too. Had he been standing a second longer, Taahn would've caught notice of him through the window as he came walking across the hall and turn whatever was left of the hour into a lecture.
"Hey there Juel." The doctor called through the intercom, "How're you feeling?"
"...Don't you have other patients to deal with?" Juel asked with a crass-sounding grumble.
"Yes, I do. But you're a bit of a priority."
Juel didn't say anything.
"Look, Zumi's coming by again to check your vitals. Just rest."
He rolled his eyes. "Right. Okay."
The PA clicked off and Juel was left alone again. Absently, he felt the stumpy end of his long gone arm and winced at the tender flesh. He kept that up for several minutes.
"Pretty pathetic ain't in, Serah." Juel murmured with a blank and emotionless stare into nothingness, "What do you think...?"
Nothing answered him. He wiped his sweaty brow away before sinking a little deeper into his bed.
The attempts of a visit came less frequently. Each time, he denied them and soon enough, they stopped altogether. No one had visited him for a month.
Not Olasie. Not Enyah. Or Hiva. Or any of the other inhabitants of the Neema.
And most definitely not Tali.
He pushed them all away. Told them every time they'd try to come not to come and see him.
He couldn't meet their faces anymore. He wanted it over. He wanted to die and just be done with it. He wanted to say he had a good ride. But he didn't.
But now he had to face the consequences of not dying. He had to face the mirror and deal with the fallout of surviving.
"Another little cruel joke to you, isn't it?" Juel uttered to the ceiling. "You're a monster. Couldn't even let me die. Couldn't let me have my peace."
He grabbed for his book and threw it with as much impassioned anger as he could. Watched its fluttering pages whisk about between its cover before smacking up against the glass wall and falling.
His breaths were shallow and ragged. He forced in a painful lungful of breath and held it to calm himself down.
His timing was pretty good, because Nurse Zumi came in just moments after and greeted him. The door she opened swept the book under a cart without her realizing and he was thankful for that.
"Hi Juel."
He exhaled quietly.
"Hey Zumi." He mumbled as he settled himself again into bed.
His back was sweaty. He hated feeling sweaty. She started logging his vitals and did a brief physical of his entire body. He'd long since forgotten how embarrassing it was to your whole person checked over by a female nurse. But she'd been caring about it and did everything she needed to make it as comfortable as possible.
"See anything?" Juel asked, "Still good, right?"
"Nothing yet, Juel." She answered, "You're still okay."
"How do I look?"
She gave him an unseen smile and pat his hand. "Better than you were the weeks before."
"You—uh... you busy?"
"Not really, no." Zumi said, "Why?"
He frowned. " I could use some company."
A pause and a frown that mirrored his. She sat down on the stool beside his bed.
"Thanks, Zumi."
"You don't have to thank me."
She typed the rest of his vitals on her omni-tool. "So, why haven't you been letting people see you, Juel? I understood a little bit at first. But... you're getting better."
Juel held his head low and couldn't give her an answer.
"Why would you do that?" She pushed.
Another few moments of silence and he squeezed his eyes shut. He decided to just say it. To just tell the truth. His tried to have his eyes meet hers but couldn't will himself to do it. "I wanted it over. I just wanted to die and be at peace."
That was... definitely news to her. As much as it was disturbing to hear that from him, she was flattered that he opened up that much about his feelings. She didn't know of any other way to help other than to snake a hand into his and squeeze as tightly as comfort would allow. She scrunched her face up too in sad disappointment.
"Do you know how many people on the Neema love you, Juel? There isn't a soul aboard that hasn't been thinking about you. You are important to us. We can't always see your pain but we're family. Everyone is here for you. No matter what."
She could see his face droop from that. She still held onto his hand as if it were a connection to every heart on this ship. "It's easy to make enemies, you know that? You don't have a single one that lives on this ship. Even with your constant scowl and sarcastic personality."
That droop on his face made his lip curl into a cry that he could barely hold back.
"Now you're better. You're here with us still. You need to let everyone know you're getting better. Tell everyone that you're going to be okay."
"Alright." He croaked. That was just about the nicest thing he'd ever heard someone say to him. It washed with comfort. Renewed in spirit, he nodded to her. "Okay. I will. I'm sorry."
She stood and gave him a gentle hug. "We love you. Don't forget that."
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She sat at her desk and stared at the small little frayed pieces of fabric around her hands. She'd pick at the strands every once in a while absently, her mind entirely elsewhere. It'd been a month since she'd seen or heard from Juel. The only way she'd been able to keep up with him really was through his doctor. Other than that, any details of his existence were all but vacant. All she could get out of him was that he was still alive and getting better, albeit slowly.
Though he wasn't getting an arm back. So the 'getting better' was relative. When she received news of him losing it, her heart sank. His life would be different forever.
Her omni-tool rang from a text message and she opened it.
- ᴛᴀʟɪ, ᴊᴜᴇʟ ʜᴀs ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠɪsɪᴛ ʜɪᴍ ɪɴ ʜɪs ʀᴏᴏᴍ ᴡʜᴇɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ. -ᴢᴜᴜᴍɪ -
She read the message and did the only thing she could do.
Frown.
He hadn't wanted anybody to visit him this past month. Especially her. Why the sudden change in heart? She grumbled something unintelligible and buried her head in her arms. The idea of visiting Juel filled her with dread. Part of her wanted to disappear.
To just run from her problems. Run away from Juel and leave everyone she'd ever known on the Neema behind.
But she couldn't. That wouldn't even make sense. There was nothing out there for her.
But did that matter?
She thought a little more about it and realized that, yes, it did.
She tried running away from the Normandy. Tried running from everyone she'd ever known in her past life on pilgrimage.
Even John. Look where that got her. It got her nowhere. And now she was nothing more than a shell. An empty little shell. There wasn't any guessing what running would do to her if she tried it again.
Her life felt like a chore now. Her life felt like subsisting. And someday? Someday it would end. And if there was an afterlife, she'd join John again in the void.
But there was always this little piece of her. And the little piece told her to just suck it up. Just deal with it, Tali. You're just being dramatic.
But was she?
She swallowed hard. No. She didn't think she was being dramatic at all. John died. Died in vacuum. Died fighting for what he believed in.
She lost him. Lost the man she loved forever. She felt every moment she ever had with him in the span of seconds. Tears came soon after. Every hug and every caring stare. Every touch and smile. Every laugh and grin. All the times she'd spent beating around the bush, hoping that he'd finally hear her feelings of love? She regretted that. All of it.
"I'm sorry, John..." She murmured through a trembling breath, "I'm so sorry."
She took in the deepest lungful of air in her life and willed away the despair into the deepest part of her heart. She could feel the mass of ice in her chest grow a little bigger. She knew John would never have wanted to see her like this. Not now. Not ever. He would want her to find solace amidst the pain and to move on in life.
She shook her head slowly. 'Move on' she could hear him say. The words echoed in her thoughts. And they taunted her.
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Wilson took a testing sip and sighed.
"Mhm. Perfect."
"Perfect?" Miranda asked as she turned to him with a surprised look on her face.
"Just talking about the coffee, Miranda." Wilson said with a slight chuckle as he went back to his list, "So. Cranial nerves are integrated. Basic motor and sensory innervations on the face are working... Corticospinal tract conditioned green, and the posterior column-medial lemniscus pathway's good."
Wilson suddenly frowned.
"But the spinothalamic tract hasn't been completely, uh... rendered yet. We're going to have to test its functionality."
"What does that entail, Dr. Wilson?"
Wilson gave Miranda a serious stare. "Waking him up."
Her stare turned cold.
Sensing that she didn't like his answer, he took another sip of coffee before speaking. "I see you don't like that. Do you have any other options or suggestions that could yield results?"
"...No." She answered quietly, "I'm not a Neuroscientist."
She went back to stare at her computer screen.
"That doesn't mean your input isn't taken into serious consideration. You're still my boss. What you say goes."
Miranda stared blankly at the monitor and grimaced slightly.
"Say we do this. What would we be expecting?"
"Miranda. I can't answer that."
"Make an educated guess then, Wilson."
He chewed on his lip before frowning in thought. "Uhm... Primary motor cortex might trigger a seizure? Stroke? Diabetes? I don't know. Like I said, I'm speaking in total hypotheticals here. Everything else, if things go to plan, will respond positively to the Commander's loss of comatose."
"Will he feel anything?"
He set down his mug and stared at John's naked body.
"Probably. It's going to be a very painful and rude awakening."
"What does the spinothalamic tract even do exactly?" Miranda asked as she reached for her cup of tea.
"It overlooks—more callous contact with foreign exertive forces." He explained with his carefully picked-out words, "Notably pain."
"For what purpose do we test him under that duress, Wilson? We've tested every other function of his brain without him being awake."
"Pain affects all parts of the brain." He said calmly, "It's going to tell us exactly how well-wired his state of mind is."
"There has to be a better way." Miranda said. "There has to be."
"Miranda. Every second we touch the man, is a risk we take. Each of them monumental. I understand the caution you want to take. But no risks? Means there's no progress."
She wanted to argue. Wanted to tell Wilson he was wrong. And when she couldn't find a fault in his logic, she'd default into having the entire Neuroscience team decide what to do.
"Give me a risk assessment then, Wilson. We'll test him when you've developed a procedure with your cohorts."
"Give me eight hours and I'll have it on your desk in the morning, Miranda."
"Good." She stood up and headed for the door, "Good night, Wilson. I'll see you after breakfast tomorrow."
"Good." Wilson shouted as he put on his eyeglasses, "It's your favorite tomorrow. Powdered eggs with ham and cheese."
She rolled her eyes and his sarcasm. He knew she hated powdered eggs with ham and cheese.
She sighed and gave him a shrug. "It's a necessary forfeit, Wilson."
"With the work we're doing? It'd be nice to eat some real shit for once." He said before glancing back to Shepard, "And it's all for one man."
"For humanity." She corrected.
"Yeah. this is all over? You, Jacob, and I are going for the finest steakhouse on earth. My treat."
"I'll be obliged to accept the invitation when Shepard's alive."
"Good night, Mrs. Lawson. Until tomorrow."
"Until tomorrow." She repeated.
The door closed and Wilson was left by himself for the third night in a row. He sighed and reached for his mug of coffee and downed whatever was left in four gulps.
Only recently had John been resuscitated back into the living. Or whatever passed as living. For all they knew, all they'd done was shell billions of credits to revive a fruit.
Or they'd actually done it. Brought him back just the way he was.
"Either way, we'll find out soon enough." Wilson grumbled before he started his risk assessment paper.
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"Juel…?" She whispered through a little speaker on the other side of his clean room.
Since Juel's back was facing Tali while he lay in bed, she couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not.
"Juel?" She said again to see if he was up, "...You awake?"
He stirred slightly and turned around to see who was talking to him.
When he realized it was Tali, he felt surprised that she'd even consider coming to see him after what was essentially a fallout between them all.
"Tali?" He answered as he opened his dark and sunken eyes, "Hey. You came."
Tali stared for a moment longer before nodding slowly to him. "Should I come in?"
"Yeah." He said with the barest hint of a smile, "You should."
He coughed and she couldn't help but slightly cringe at the sound of phlegm gurgling in his lungs.
She walked through a clarifying jet of antiseptic mist for a minute or so before finally entering his room.
"Keelah, Juel." She said with a mumble, trying her best to pretend nothing happened between them, "You look like shit."
He laughed and that made her feel elated. It was Juel. The Juel she knew.
"Yeah, I do." He answered, "Pun intended I see."
"Ah." She rubbed the sudden kink in her neck, "Bad choice of words. Sorry."
He sighed as he showed Tali his stumpy limb, "They didn't let me keep the other half as a souvenir. Pity."
"Biological hazard I'd imagine." Tali panned with a slight shake of her head, "You doped up right now?"
"Of course."
Tali nodded and brought up a stool to sit on. Then she stared at her wringing hands to think of what to say next. She knew they were both thinking about what he'd said a month ago, but she'd rather just forget about it entirely and just move on.
The silence after between them was a little awkward.
"Uhm..." Juel winced slightly, "Tali?"
She looked back up. "Hm?"
"I'm sorry. For what I said to you. I didn't mean it."
Tali didn't say anything and Juel took the hint to continue.
"What I said was wrong."
Tali kept staring and shook her head slowly. "You don't have to say sorry." she murmured without looking him in the eye anymore, "I just want you to be okay."
"...Friends?"
"Friends."
"Oh thank god. Thought I was going to have to find some new ones. Start a new life. Get a new name."
Her shoulders perked up slightly when he said that. Then she gave him an unseen smile before looking at his stump again.
"Let's find you a good doctor on Illium. Patch you up just the way you were."
He genuinely thought she was joking. "Uh-huh. Who's to say my kidneys would still be intact. Or even inside me."
"Then the Citadel."
He frowned. Maybe she wasn't joking. "...you're not joking are you?"
"No." She said a little offhandedly, "Of course not."
"Tali, that stuff is expensive. I appreciate the gesture, but that's like... like, hundreds of thousands of credits, expensive."
"That's not an obstacle."
Oh. Wow. Juel hadn't realized she had that much saved up. "You really got that much money?"
"I do. John gave me a lot before he died."
"Tali—"
"Nope. We're not going there." She said to cut him off, "It's my money. And I'll spend it on whatever and whomever I want."
"You don't have to. You don't need to do that for me."
Her gaze suddenly fell to the floor and remembered a memory she cherished greatly. Word for word, she had said that to John. Those same words.
She gave him a bright smile and perched her hands up against the side of his bed.
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A long while ago.
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8-31-2183
[ SERPENT NEBULA | CITADEL | ZAKERA WARD | JUMAI SUITES ]
OPERATIONAL MANDATE: R&R DEPLOYMENT.
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John, with a meek looking grin, brewed his coffee, poured it into a mug, and took a sip before frowning.
His coffee tasted like licking a bitter brick. Sugar and creamer would probably help.
As he reach for the creamer and mixed it in to his cup, he stopped halfway and stared at Tali sleeping in his bed before sighing quietly.
They were on vacation, amazingly enough.
Waiting for a new lead on Saren or an assignment from the Council or Alliance. Ordinarily, John wouldn't have considered the idea of doing R&R like this, let alone time off at all. But they'd all been working hard, and they'd completed everything they needed to do without anything new coming up.
So far, it'd been nearly a week and a half of nothing. Oddly enough, Shepard didn't feel compelled to worry too much about it either. In just a couple days time, they'd be at it again, whether or not they had a mission to do.
With his creamer mixed in, he poured in some sugar and glanced at Tali again.
Ah.
Tali.
She was probably going to be really upset at herself when she'd come to realize whose bed she'd fallen asleep in.
Watching a vid late into the night would do that to you.
John checked his wristwatch and nodded to himself.
Eight thirty in the morning.
Best to get started with the day, he supposed.
"Hey. Tali." John whispered with his mug in hand, "Wake up."
He put a gentle hand on her shoulder and gently shook her.
She stirred from sleep and beaded her eyes open before looking up to John.
"Good morning there," He smiled, "Sleep well?"
Tali yawned and closed her eyes again before snuggling under the covers a little more.
"Mhm. Yeah."
Then Tali caught up with whose bed she was sleeping in. She opened her eyes, rather blankly John might add, and rose up to her elbows. "Wait. Did I—"
"Fall asleep watching Blasto with me?" He sipped his coffee with a grin, "Yes. Yes you did."
She stared at the comforter laying on top of her.
"Oh. How'd I get on the bed?"
He turned around and went through something in his duffel bag before taking another long gulp of his brew.
"Carried you." He said finally.
Her cheeks flush into a hazy cerise. "And where did you sleep?"
"Sofa." He sighed, "Pretty comfortable."
Tali sat up and put her bootless feet on the ground and stretched.
"Where'd I put my boots?"
He pointed toward the front door. "I put them over there. Along with your realk thing."
"Thanks."
Shepard finished the last of his coffee before walking into the bathroom to wash his face.
Tali chided herself mentally.
It didn't take too much of Tali's imagination to think sleeping in his room like this wasn't particularly polite.
Other than it invading his space and stealing him of a bed, was that she probably overstayed. Especially since she had a room of her own.
Whoops.
"Hey, John?" Tali said with a frown, "Keelah. Sorry. Sleeping here was pretty rude."
John gave the mirror he was looking at an exasperated look.
Oh, here we go.
Tali's lack of ego stroking her own self-worthlessness.
"You're kidding me, right?" Shepard rasped with a monotone, "You're kidding me."
Tali's eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.
"What?"
He faced her from the bathroom since she was still sitting on the bed. "Tali, sometimes I wonder if the Migrant Fleet's just a giant circle-jerk of apologies."
He put on his best impression of a quarian just to make his point. "Oh, I'm sorry for existing. I'm also terribly sorry for breathing. Oh, you needed that? Sorry."
She couldn't help but sneak a laugh as he returned to the sink. "Sorry. I just don't want to be one of those."
"One of what?"
"You know," Tali said as she got up, "that one friend that everyone hangs out with even though they'd rather not."
"Tali?" He said as he finished rinsing his face, "I'm going to say this once: I enjoy your company."
She put on her realk. "You mean that?"
"Yes." He answered, "You're my best friend, Tali. I mean that."
Tali slipped into her boots, laced the knife around her leg, and smiled at that thought.
Being John's best friend.
She stood at bathroom's door and gave him a smile. "That means a lot, John."
"It should." He said before grabbing his toothbrush, "What're you doing today? Have any plans?"
Tali perked up slightly. "None. Want me to tag along with you?"
He started brushing his teeth before nodding. "Yup. We need to go shopping. Stuff for the Normandy mostly."
"I'd love to join you."
When he finished brushing, he walked out of the bathroom to get his own shoes on.
"But before that, we need to get some breakfast," John said, "that okay?"
"Maybe somewhere quarian friendly?"
"Of course." John said as he clipped a holster onto his belt, "But you shouldn't worry. You got a Spectre watching your back. You'll be fine."
"I hope so." Tali panned as she waited for John to finish getting ready.
"If anyone gives us any problems, or so much as a dirty look, I'll kick their ass."
"John."
"Yeah, I know. I'm just kidding."
He checked his wallet, omni-tool, and handgun.
"Ready?" Tali asked as she opened the door.
John nodded. "Yup."
They both show themselves out and start walking down the hallway.
"Hotel's nice, wouldn't you say?"
"Pretty extravagant." Tali agreed.
"I think you've all deserved it." John nodded, "A break from gunning after Saren is definitely a welcoming change."
"Yes. Yes it is."
They rear the corner and see Garrus at his doorway looking out the window across from him.
"Shepard. Tali. So good to see you," The turian greeted as he caught wind of them, "Where were you two?"
"Nowhere?" Tali replied tightly with a quirked brow, "Why?"
Garrus' smile grew. "Hey. No worry. I won't tell."
"Tell? ...Garrus?" Tali replied, nonplussed.
"Tell what?" Liara's head poked out from behind Garrus before sipping on her fresh mug of tea.
Garrus leaned in dramatically toward Liara. "Tali slept in Shepard's room."
Liara feigned surprise. "What? Oh my."
"What the hell." John grumbled, playing into the joke, "You got Liara in your room, you hypocrite."
"I only came here for the tea." Liara said with a smile as she raised the mug up before patting Garrus on the shoulder, "I'll be leaving now."
The three watched Liara walk out in her pajamas and slippers back to her own room.
"Yeah." John grumbled, "Right."
"Hey. She said she didn't have any tea in her room." Garrus said with a shrug.
John waved Garrus off. "Mm. Yeah. Come on Tali."
John gave Garrus the stink eye and watched the turian guffaw at him before closing his door.
"So. Breakfast." John began as they made their way to the elevators, "There's this place I want to check out around the corner."
Tali nodded.
"Okay. Well, I do have food on the Normandy," Tali reminded him, "I can just eat that—"
He let out a single chortle and couldn't help but grin at her.
"Do you do that to avoid seeing me?"
"Oh, totally," Tali said sarcastically, "This bosh'tet just can't take a hint."
John laughed and pressed a button for the lift. "Look. You're going to eat at a nice restaurant like a lady and enjoy yourself. That's what R&R means, right? You know? Rest and Relaxation?"
"Right."
"I know it's a little weird. Believe me. But we've got a vacation quota to meet." John said as their elevator arrived, "Otherwise my pay gets docked."
Tali laughed. "Ironic."
"Ironic indeed."
They entered the lift and descended to the main lobby. From there, they exit the foyer onto the street, and walk down a block.
"I'm glad you decided to pick something besides the Presidium for once." Tali said as they continued their stroll down the sidewalk, "A little change of pace is nice."
"Would agree. If the snobs aren't suffocating enough, it's the politics."
They arrived.
"Here it is." John said as pointed to the sign above them.
"Yan'Sues! Best eatery in town." Tali read, "Where'd you find out about this place?"
"Online." John answered as they entered through the door, "Good reviews. And guess what. Quarian friendly service."
"That can't be a coincidence." Tali said with a snort.
"Ah, yeah. I looked up places to eat last night."
Tali smiled and felt rather touched by John's thoughtfulness.
"That's sweet, John. Such a gentleman. Having the fortitude to think of little ol' me."
"Uh. Yeah? Of course. When haven't I?"
"Never really." Tali admitted with a sincere grin.
A waitress introduced herself at the restaurant's foyer and brought them to a booth next to a good view of the Citadel.
As they sat down, the waitress set down a mug for John and poured him his second cup of the day before fetching Tali some water.
"Can't help but shake how odd it is doing this." Tali started when their waiter left, "Doing what we do? And here we are. Sitting down for coffee and an omelette."
John sipped his second cup and shrugged. "If it helps, I'll remind you again we're off to the Normandy next week. "
"I know." Tali replied, " I just don't think this kind of lifestyle is for us. At least for now."
"At least for now." Shepard repeated as if the words couldn't have been any truer.
She looked out the window and to the dozens of passerby. Every once in a while, a person's shadow would come across their table and pass over her.
"At least for you, I should say." Tali corrected suddenly, "I don't think my life will ever get this good."
His smile waned slightly as he set his cup down.
"And why's that."
Tali gave him a look and decided to make a joke. "The Fleet doesn't have restaurants. Or coffee."
He tipped his mug slightly toward her. "Fair point."
The waitress came back with a pair of menus before giving Tali her water and John a complimentary cup of orange juice.
"I'll be back when you're ready to order your food." She said with a smile.
John took the menu and started browsing while Tali went through the dextro version on the back.
He looked up from his menu to her and couldn't help but smile. The sun had been in just the right spot for John to make out her dainty nose and beautiful eyes.
My.
She was beautiful. John couldn't imagine what it'd be like had it been off.
His smile never faded. And neither did his stare.
"See anything good yet, Tali?"
"Mmm..." She kept her gaze on the menu before finally nodding, "I think."
"You sure?"
"Yes. Though I'd imagine it to be much more enjoyable on a plate." She pouted slightly.
"You're probably right."
Tali sighed and looked up from her own menu to him. "You know, John...? Someday, I hope I can do this without a bucket on my head."
John brought up his omni-tool. "Here. I'll add that on my list of things to do."
"What?"
"We'll take Rannoch back. Then I'll open up a dingy little eatery just for you. A couple blocks down from your house."
"You know, I'd like that" She said as she snuck a laugh before shaking her head, "Do you even really know how to cook cook? Grilling doesn't count."
"My mom and dad always told me I made some mean chicken and chili."
"I don't even know what that is."
"You will when I make a dextro version."
"I'll hold you to that."
The waiter came back.
"What would you like, guys?"
"The YanSue's special omelette, please. Sausage to replace the bacon." He put down the menu and faced the waiter, "So you guys actually have a purifier in the back for my lovely friend?"
Tali blushed slightly at John's remark.
"Absolutely. Stak-Aid packets and all. Just tell us what you want, and I'd love to purify it for ya'."
She wrote down John's order on her pad and then waited for Tali with a grin.
Tali buried her head back into her menu. "Uhm... the number two turian breakfast combo, please?"
"Right away." The waiter left again.
"Here. Let me forward you the stuff we need to go over today at the market." John did as promised and sent her a list.
She received the bulleted email and started skimming.
"Anybody else coming with us?"
"Nope." John shook his head, "Just you and me."
"Garrus and Liara were definitely out of the question I guess." Tali noted, "But what about Kaidan or Ash?"
"Both have stuff to do for the Alliance right now. They still fall under their chain of command. "
"And what makes you the exception?"
"Because I'm a Spectre." John shrugged, "The trade-off for written reports, Tali, is verbal ones."
"And you'd prefer the former?"
John shook his head. "I'd rather do neither."
Tali shook her own head and laughed. "That isn't a choice, John."
"No, I suppose it's not."
"So none of them." Tali said as she graced the salt shaker with a long stare, "What about Wrex?"
John thought about it for a moment. "Haven't thought of him. Pretty sure he's at the arcade."
"Arcade? What would he be doing there?"
"Combat sims." John answered, "State of the art. Top of the line stuff."
"Well. I guess he's out then too."
"Yup."
The waiter came back with their food and put it in front of Tali. "'ere you go, hun. Nice and hot."
"Thank you."
"And for you, sir." She said as she set down his plate.
"Thanks."
John put on his desired sauces and went in with his fork.
They ate in silence for a minute or so before John finally decided to speak.
"You know, Tals? This is a blessing."
She looked up from her food pouch and cocked her head to the side.
"How so?"
"Being together like this." John said as he fumbled with his napkin, "I haven't had someone to spend time with for a long while, Tali. And the year we've spent, you and I, has changed that."
She felt her heart start pounding.
Ugh.
She hated it when it did that.
"...I guess, I just wanted to say that being around you is as easy as breathing. I'm just thankful for that." John murmured quietly.
The way he worded that caught up with him.
"Well. I sound like a creep, don't I?"
"No." Tali spat awkwardly to try and save him from feeling like a weirdo, "Absolutely not."
"No?"
"I know what you meant." Tali said with a small reassuring smile, "You're not a creep."
She put a hand on his and pat it before letting her voice fall into a caring whisper. "You have no idea how special it is for me to hear that."
All John could do was stare lovingly at her.
Part of him wanted to tell her right there.
Just a simple 'I love you.'
But he stopped himself.
And no matter how disappointed he was about the fact, it wouldn't make him realize that Tali had to stop herself from doing it too.
"I care about you, Tali." John said as his smile turned soft with compassion, "Really, I do."
"I know. I do too."
"Good." John said, returning back to a more cheery mood, "Now let's eat before our food gets cold."
"This one wishes for you to elaborate."
"Elaborate? Okay—" John repeated as he pointed to one of its products, "Look. Right here. Forced warranty that's eighty percent the original price. That's ridiculous."
"This one holds their merchandise in high esteem." It replied.
"Well apparently not," John grumbled, "if the customer has to pay for a half-year warranty at nearly a thousand credits a month."
"If you do not like this one's bartering system, you may choose another seller."
"I suppose so." John said as he began wheeling his cart away, "Let's go, Tali. We'll go off and find someone else."
As they walked out of the store, John faced her with a frown on his face.
"Can you believe that? Forced premiums and warranties eighty percent the price of everything in his store? Bull shit."
"It is bull shit." Tali agreed, "If anything, I'm your warranty and guarantee." Tali joked.
John chuckled. "Yeah. What use is a guarantee when I have you?"
"Exactly."
They both laugh. As they walked, a volus shopkeeper waved to get their attention.
"Earth-Clan!"
John slowly stopped the cart and glanced at Tali before looking to the pudgy-looking man just to make sure it was him he was calling for. "Me?"
"Yes!"
John shrugged and went to him while Tali followed.
"What can I do for you?" John asked.
"Ah. I'd rather say it's what I can do for you. -skeesh- I see you've tried to sell your goods to that ridiculous hanar! -skeesh- I thought maybe we could make a deal."
"My ears are open." John said, "Refer to my tech expert here. She knows more about the equipment we're handling than I do."
"Ah. -skeesh- Very well. I'll consult with the clanless."
John couldn't help but let that ring in his head.
...Clanless?
What?
John's brows scrunched up in confusion as he glanced to Tali behind him for a second. "...Clanless?"
"Yes." The volus said, unaware of John's fairly large frown, "Looters. -skeesh- Vagrants. Those without a home. You know what I'm talking about, yes?"
"No," John said rather aggressively as he tried catching up to the blatant douchery that came out of the guy's mouth, "I actually don't know what you're talking about."
"How could you not?" The volus said as he turned to Tali herself, "Tell him: How did you end up here with the earth-clan? Presumably through one of the collective servitudes on the Citadel, correct?"
John was stunned into silence.
Servitude?
As in... contracted slavery?
No. Those were banned in Citadel space. Perhaps something that involved paying someone what barely amounted to a wage to recompense for debts? Skirting the bounds of what amounted to slavery?
The volus kept talking. "...Or has your pilgrimage sold you off the highest bidder somewhere on Illium, hm?" The volus shook his head, "Never ones to know their place. Trash, I tell you."
Tali glowered and said nothing.
John finally regained his mental footing. "Do you know who you're speaking to?"
The volus glanced between the both of them and sensed his newest customer didn't look all that happy anymore.
"No. -skeesh- I'm afraid I have you at a disadvantage, Mr...?"
He ignored the formality and pointed to Tali standing behind him.
"You owe her an apology."
"Why? For what?"
He leaned in closer than personal space would normally allow. "Tell her you're sorry."
The volus recoiled slightly away. "-skeesh- I… I—"
"Do it." John interrupted before repeating himself, "Tell her you're sorry."
The volus hesitated for a moment before facing her.
"I'm sorry, clanless."
Oh, that wasn't really all that sincere. Not at all.
"Are you compensating for the height or...?" He lowered to a knee so he could stare straight into the man's soul and anything else that could've been hiding behind that stupid mask.
"That wasn't very sincere. Say it from the bottom of your heart. It's that or she broadcasts your extranet history you thought you deleted to the entire ward."
"You're -skeesh- threatening me!"
"I am. Now say it with her name." John said with a nice smile, "Tell Tali you're sorry."
He faced her again. "...I'm— I'm sorry, Tali. -skeesh-"
Tali dipped her head. "Thank you."
John stood back up. He gestured for her to wrap up their stuff before pointing at the pudgy ball with legs. "Suck some breath and mutter."
"I'll have -skeesh- you arrested!"
John didn't even bother looking back at him. "You think you're going arrest a spectre?"
The volus did the only thing he could do at that point. Breathe and mutter as they left his store.
"John?" Tali mumbled quietly as they reached the end of the aisle.
"What an asshole, Tali."
Tali stopped walking.
"John. Stop."
He stopped and turned around to face her.
"What he did was out of line. Dude needed to be bitch slapped."
"John." She shook her head to show him she wasn't upset about the issue, "I can't believe you— I don't think I've ever had anyone stick up for me that much before."
"You deserve better." John answered with a frown.
"I have better." Tali said with a sad smile as she swayed an arm to him, "I've got you."
If John didn't see that as a sign of love, she didn't know what would. His grimace went away and his eyes went soft. As he stepped up to her, he put a gentle hand on her arm before squeezing it affectionately. "You do." He murmured.
This would've been the time to kiss hadn't there been this sheen of glass between them.
He turned back to their cart. "Third time should be a charm. Let's see if we can't find a turian with enough will to hold their tongue."
"A turian, John?"
"If he even stares the wrong way? It'll be a swift kick to the balls, Tali. I swear."
"Right," Tali laughed as she thought of John leg punching a turian's crotch, "I'm sure."
"Yeah." John laughed before shrugging, "I wouldn't even know how to do that. To a turian at least."
They, by chance, come across a turian shopkeeper's store.
"Well. Speak of the devil." John said as he turned the cart toward the door, "Come on."
With a shrug, Tali followed John in.
As they approached, the turian behind the counter flared his mandibles into a smile before putting his hands behind his back. "Hello. What can I do for you both today?"
"Just looking to see if we can buy and trade."
"Of course! Have a look around."
John thumbed the cart. "My cart here's got stuff I've collected too over the past three or so months. If you need anything, you can refer to my techie here. She'll get you situated."
"Well." The turian said with a bit of surprise, "I was just about to run an errand, but with you here, maybe I won't have to." The turian's omni-tool sprang to life.
John pointed at the shopkeeper's kiosk. "You wouldn't mind if I took a look, would you?"
"Not at all, sir." The turian said with his small smile. John nodded to the man and started browsing.
Then the turian faced Tali. "Hello there, ma'am. How're you?"
"Good." Tali said politely.
"Good." the turian repeated as he started typing, "Now, my errand was for me to find a spare M-8 chamber and sear. You wouldn't happen to have some analytic converters for those too would you?"
Tali gave the man a grin. "Yes! Just the thing for you."
She went in under one of the boxes and started sifting through the stuff. "M-8 chamber and sear, right here. I also have an omni-generated weapon system diagnostic too if you want. That'd certainly come in handy over the analytic converter."
"That'd be just the thing, Ms...?"
"Tali'Zorah, sir."
The turian rose his brows in surprise. "My. You're part of the Normandy." He gave the commander a fleeting look, "That's the commander himself? The human Spectre?"
"Yes." Tali said without being able to hold her smile, "That's him."
The turian actually laughed and shook his head. "Who would've thought. Two of galaxy's best in my dingy little store."
She grabbed the parts and brought it over to him. "I didn't get your name, sir."
"Uliach Kueen." He said with a grin. By the time Tali had set the stuff on the counter, John was back with a small grin on his face.
"Looks like we came to the right man, Tals." Shepard said, "He's got quite the set up here."
"I'm sure," Tali said, smiling at John, "See anything good?"
"Yes, I did." John answered before facing the turian shopkeeper, "I noticed a savant IX on the shelf there."
Uliach nodded. "Yes sir. Top, top of the line stuff. It's quite the buy. A small fortune, actually."
"I'll take it. Tali's been needing an upgrade."
Tali's mind went blank for a second.
What.
"Of course!" Uliach said happily, "I'll ring it up and give you a dis—"
A loud crash sounded out from behind John and he whirled around to see Tali cursing because she'd dropped one of the more expensive things in their cart onto the ground.
"Oh. Damnit." Tali grumbled with a frustrated groan.
Uliach stared awkwardly at John and Tali before going back to pressing his buttons at his register.
John couldn't help but laugh and step up to her before putting a hand on her ruffled ones.
"Don't worry about it. Tali? It's fine."
"I just wrecked a fortune, John. Damnit, I'm so sorry."
"Tali." He repeated with a shrug, "It's okay. No big deal."
"You're lucky, Ms. Zorah," The turian said out loud with a calming smile, "had you been under my command, I'd have made you wash my dishes personally for a week."
Both John and Uliach share a laugh while Tali put a hand on her face embarrassingly.
"You used to be military?" John asked Uliach as he bent down to help Tali pick up the pieces she'd dropped.
"Oh, very much so." Uliach answered as he hobbled around to the other side of the counter with his cane, "Retired out as a pioneering sergeant for the 444th Expeditionaries after serving some time on the home-planet's moon for the 62nd signal corps. Half my service was on Posting Condor, amazingly."
John didn't understand specifically all the intricacies of turian military, but nodded all the same. It sounded interesting, and it would be something worth looking up on a wiki later that night.
"But enough about that." Uliach said as he waved his hand about, "About that Savant IX. I'll set you up with a discount, Commander."
"That would be phenomenal sir." John said humbly, "I appreciate it greatly."
The old turian hobbled back around the counter to set up the discount at his register. "None needed, Commander. Your service is enough thanks for this old bag of bones."
John smiled at the man before turning to Tali and giving her the dip of the head.
"John..." She whispered without it ever reaching him. She couldn't believe he was going to buy her something like that.
"With the discount and parts you brought me? The difference totals at six thousand, five hundred credits flat, Commander."
"Sounds about right." John said right before sliding his chit across a scanner. Anything Tali could've said to object against the purchase was too late. It was under John's name now.
"Let me shake your hand, sir." John asked as he held out his hand for the turian to shake, "Been a pleasure doing business with you."
"The honor's mine, son." Uliach said with a wide grin.
As John and Tali turned to go, Uliach called out to John right after Tali passed out the door so she couldn't hear him.
"Commander? You keep her safe." The old turian said with a gentle smile and a small wink.
"I will, sir." John answered with a stout nod before walking out.
Tali was waiting just outside the store when John passed the door. He handed her the box with the new omni-tool in it.
"Surprise." John said jokingly, "Just for you."
Tali accepted the gift with both hands and a nervous mumble.
"John. A Savant?"
"Hell yes."
"Why?" Tali asked with an astonished murmur, "...Why do you do this for me?"
"Because you're a good person Tali." John answered quietly, "That's why."
"You don't have to." Tali said without the courage to look him in the eye, "You don't have to do that for me."
"You're right. I don't." John answered with a shrug, "But I choose to. Because I want to."
With nothing else to say, Tali came up to John and hugged him.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome, Tals."
He pat her back and smiled at her. "Hey. Let's put off the chores for another day. Let's have some fun."
"Fun?" Tali said as she took a step back, "Where at?"
"Not sure. Maybe you should check with that new Savant of yours."
Tali beamed at him.
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Present time.
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"You're right. I don't." She said without missing a beat from her momentary callback, "But I choose to. Because I want to." She echoed John's sentiment to Juel the same way she had remembered it.
She gave him a happy stare-down. "We're going to the Citadel. And we're getting you a new arm."