A/N: This chapter is explicitly adult in nature. I don't usually publish explicit things on FFN but I think it's important to this story to show the development in Remus and Tonks's relationship.

...

Friday evening, 30 August, 1991

"Would you like some tea?"

Remus's polite question eased the tension in the room. Tonks, however, had other thoughts.

"What was my dad saying to you and your dad?" she asked.

"That you're his only daughter," Remus replied uneasily, "and if I hurt you, I would regret it. I wouldn't dare hurt you, I promise. My Dad told him the same."

"Okay." She leaned against a brown armchair and plucked up the courage to address what was on her mind. "Are we going to have sex tonight?"

Remus's eyes flew open. "Is that . . . if you want . . . only if, of course, if you're comfortable . . ."

Tonks frowned at him. "Do you not want to? Does it not . . . you don't work right?"

"No!" Remus shook his head violently. "No, that's not—everything's in good order downstairs, so to speak—it's that—" He rubbed his hand along the back of his neck, his face flushing with color.

"If it makes it easier, I can look like someone else," she said, in a small voice. "I know I'm not the prettiest girl—"

"You're beautiful," he blurted. Tonks felt her cheeks heat up. He closed his eyes and paused. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable here. You know what I am, and it's a miracle you chose me, so please, let me try to make this pleasant for you. We can take it slow, as slow as you want, I just want you to be comfortable."

"I want to do it," Tonks decided, as Remus's jaw went slack. "I've never—I mean, I've done some stuff, but I haven't done that and I want to."

Remus's breath hitched. "You're a virgin?"

"I don't want to be anymore."

With closed eyes, Remus took several deep breaths. "All right," he croaked. "If this is what you want, we can do it, but you say the word, and we stop. If anything makes you uncomfortable, please tell me."

"Erm—" Tonks fiddled with the bracelets on her wrists. "Should we do it in your room?"

Remus agreed to the suggestion. Tonks followed him to the room at the end of the short corridor, which was cool and inviting. The pattern on the bed was flowery, and Tonks thought Remus could cut back on the decorative pillows, but she remembered that it was probably his friend's doing.

Remus closed the door behind him. His shoulders were visibly tense and his movements were stiff. Tonks sat on the edge of the bed in her wedding dress and wished she had changed into something else.

"Is it all right if I take off my robes?" asked Remus, with his back to her. "I'm fully clothed underneath."

"That's okay."

Remus turned to the side and unclasped his dress robes. They went over his head and flew back on a hanger. Under the robes, he had worn a pair of brown trousers and a button-down shirt. Tonks tried not to ogle his body or imagine what it looked like.

She would find out soon enough.

Go slow, Lily had said. Tonks didn't want to go slow. She wanted to be with him right away, and Remus stood, frozen in front of his young wife, concerned that this was a trick.

"Let's start slow," he heard himself say. "No need to rush."

Tonks sat on the bed, her bright eyes wide and her body trembling slightly as he approached her.

"You're shaking," he murmured. "Are you sure—"

"It's a little cold in here."

Remus didn't quite believe her, but he cast a Warming Charm over her and the bed. It did seem to have effect on her, as she stopped trembling, so he took it as a good sign. He sat down at her side and offered her his hand. She took it and twined her fingers together with his, another positive sign.

"Can I kiss you?"

Tonks nodded and turned her face towards him. Remus's heart hammered. He couldn't believe that a stunning young witch like Nymphadora—Tonks, as she liked to be called—had chosen him.

He brushed his lips against hers to give her a barely-there kiss. Her cheeks went as pink as her hair. Remus found he liked being able to make her blush, so he tried again, this time with a little more pressure. She responded in turn, her lips beginning to move against his tentatively at first, but she found a rhythm. Remus's body liked what Tonks's lips could do with his, but he didn't dare go further until she told him to.

"Should we start taking our clothes off?" she asked, when they surfaced for air some time later. Her lips were pink and her body was flushing. All of Remus's blood had traveled south and he needed a moment for his mind to catch up to her question.

Remus exhaled softly. "It's up to you."

"I can unbutton this?" Tonks tugged on one of the buttons on his shirt. He nodded and she looked down at her clothes, her cheeks turning that rosy color that Remus was growing terribly fond of. "Do you want to take my clothes off yourself, or should I . . .?" Her voice trailed off and she wasn't looking at him.

"Tonks," Remus said, "you tell me what you want to do."

"What do you like to do?"

Remus had limited experience with such matters. He was eager to have their clothes off, but he thought he should take off her clothes by himself, one article at a time, so he might have a better idea of how she felt.

"Take my shirt off, Tonks," decided Remus. "Then, when you're ready, we'll keep going."

Tonks lifted her head. She still wouldn't look at him in the eye, which worried him, but her fingers came to rest on his chest. Remus forced his breathing to stay even while she undid each button; he considered warning her about his scars, but it would be another test, a way to ensure she was willing to keep going.

The first of his scars peeked out from his shirt. Remus held his breath as Tonks undid the last of the buttons, with her delicate, warm fingers grazing his chest and her face and neck glowing like the setting sun that filled the room with its warm and golden rays.

"I can take it off?" she whispered, glancing up at him.

Remus nodded and helped her remove his shirt. It fell behind him on the bed. Tonks's breath hitched and her fingers reached out for him, pausing when she was only an inch away.

"I'm sorry," he said, releasing the breath he had been holding. "It's an occupational hazard to look like this. If you want to stop—to not try again—just say the word."

"Can I touch you instead?" Tonks asked, her fingertips coming closer to his skin. He nodded, and then her hands gently skimmed his chest and stomach. The soft pads of her fingers traced a path along his sides, over his heart, down his sternum, and came to rest on his waist.

It felt incredible to have a woman touch him like this, to feel him, to not be visibly disgusted by him. He hoped she wouldn't stop.

"You can take my dress off," she said, turning her torso around to reveal the zipper along the back.

Remus placed a tentative hand on Tonks's waist while she looked over her shoulder. She didn't flinch. She watched his hand move up her hip and waist, gliding past her chest, and come to rest on her cheek.

She was so, so soft, and Remus yearned for more.

"I'll go slow," he promised. "If you don't like something, please tell me."

Tonks nodded at him, and he brought his other hand up to begin unzipping her dress. "You can touch me, like I touched you," she said. "You can take my bra off too." Remus throbbed in his trousers. One step at a time , he thought to himself.

With careful motions, he unzipped the dress and helped her shrug it off. It fell in a heap on the floor, leaving Tonks in only her knickers and bra. Remus's hands found her waist again, and with his palms coming to rest on her stomach, he looked up for confirmation that all was well.

"I know my boobs aren't very big, and I can make them bigger—"

Remus was almost tempted to ask, out of sheer curiosity, but he was already aching to touch what he saw. Tonks was a dream come true, the kind of woman he never fathomed getting a chance to even take on a date. He couldn't believe that she offered to change her body for him, as if he wasn't the one already receiving the gift of a lifetime by marrying her.

"Not unless you want to, Tonks," Remus said, struggling to keep his voice even, as his thumbs grazed the tender skin under her breasts. "Is everything still okay? You want to keep going?"

She nodded quickly. "You don't have to ask so much, you know."

"It's for my benefit, too," he admitted. "I don't want your first time with me—with anyone, really—to be painful."

"You're really nice, Remus." Tonks put her hand on his. "Thank you for doing this. You didn't have to."

Remus longed to tell her that she was the one who deserved all the thanks, but instead, he kissed her cheek, earning him another endearing blush. He let his gaze travel to the space between Tonks's legs. A wet spot was already forming on her knickers. Remus wanted to bury his nose there, to smell her arousal, but he stopped himself before he fell to his knees.

He felt they were speeding along. He would slow them down, for her sake, to make sure that their wedding night would be mutually enjoyable.

Remus promised himself that he would give his new wife whatever she asked of him.

Tonks looked up at her new husband and tried not to flinch or fidget under his gaze. She had never been this exposed to a man before. She could see the outline of his arousal through his trousers, which made it certain he liked what he saw.

He had even called her beautiful.

"Tonks," Remus said softly, crouching down to meet her eyes, "is it all right if we go under the covers?"

"Is that what you want?" she asked. He put his palm on her bare thigh, with his calloused thumb stroking her skin gently. As anxious as she felt over what was coming, Remus hadn't given her any reason to fear him. Not yet, at least.

"I don't know what you know, but—" Remus's cheeks went endearingly pink. "There might be a small mess when we're done."

"Oh!" Tonks squeaked. Her mother warned her about her first time; there could be blood, and it would be embarrassing to see it on top of the bed.

Remus hadn't removed his hand from her thigh. He kept his gaze pinned on her, his warm eyes not leaving hers even when she glanced down at the space between her legs, where a wet patch had appeared on her knickers. (She would be lying to herself if she said she hadn't thoroughly enjoyed the way her new husband's lips moved against hers, or the way his hands held her waist, as if she was a treasure.)

"You might be warmer under the blankets, too," Remus continued.

"That's a good idea," Tonks agreed. She and Remus unfolded the covers together, threw the many pillows on the floor, and she slipped underneath, thankful when the cotton sheets were already warm for her.

Remus hesitated before joining her. "Do you mind if I take off my trousers?"

Tonks nodded at him, transfixed as he took off his belt and trousers and set them over the back of a chair. He stood next to the bed in only his pants, which were tented by what lay beneath the thin fabric, and looked back at her.

"You're still sure about this?" he said.

"I am." Tonks was on her side, her almost-naked body growing comfortably warm under the blankets, and she patted the space next to her, emboldening her to keep going.

Remus tucked himself under the duvet and rested his head against the pillow, his eyes ever fixed on hers. Tonks inched closer, hyper aware of his naked torso flush against her body. He felt safe and solid, and was firmer to the touch than the boys she'd touched before.

"Is it all right if I kiss you again?" he asked, his warm breath tickling her nose.

Tonks tilted her head up and felt his lips on hers again. His hand found its way to her back, holding her closer, as he moved his mouth against hers slowly, carefully, with the barest moans emerging from his lips. Tonks felt something hard against her hip—she knew instantly what it was—but was too scared to touch it, so she slid her hand up to Remus's waist, holding him while he kissed her.

Tonks felt a familiar heat between her legs. She knew how to take care of herself, how to bring her own pleasure, and she wondered if Remus knew how to do that for a woman. Her mother warned her that he might not—that many men were known to be clueless—and if that were the case, there was no shame in bringing herself her own pleasure when she needed it.

"Tonks," Remus breathed, his hand sliding lower along her body, grazing close to the edge of her knickers, "I want you to enjoy this, if you can. Have you . . ." His fingertips danced along the waistband, his breath hitching as Tonks realized what he might be asking.

"Have you felt this kind of pleasure before?" he asked softly. "Perhaps by yourself, or with someone else?"

"Yes," she whispered, glad that the lights were low so he couldn't see her cheeks redden.

Remus exhaled as his fingers continued tracing a line along her knickers. "Would you let me try?"

"Try?"

"To make you feel good—" His hand glided back up her torso, skimming the swell of her breasts, and came up to hold her cheek. "You don't have to say yes. I can try with my hand or my mouth—"

"Your mouth?" Tonks squeaked. No one had ever done that for her.

"If that's what you like, yes," Remus went on. "I'll do whatever you ask me to."

Tonks felt too nervous to let Remus's mouth anywhere near the area between her legs. She didn't know what it would feel or taste like for him, or if it would hurt her. When his fingers were touching her knickers, however, she felt more warmth stirring there, making it an inviting proposition to have him touch her there.

"Are you sure you want to?" she asked. "You don't have to."

"I want you to feel good and enjoy this. This will make it easier when—if—we come together."

Tonks nodded at him. "Should I take my knickers off?"

"It will make it easier for me, but—"

Tonks lifted herself and reached down. There was definitely wetness on the front of her knickers, more than she'd ever felt before, and she twisted herself around to get them off her body. Remus watched her, his lips twitching slightly, and it was then that Tonks decided it was time to take off her bra. Remus's eyes grew wide when she reached around and unclasped it.

"Like I said, I know they're not big—"

"They're perfect," Remus said, his breathing ragged and uneven. It was obvious he was struggling to keep his gaze on her face, rather than her breasts. Rather than feel uncomfortable, Tonks felt a quiet power, knowing she had captivated her husband with her body.

"Tonks, can I—"

"Yes."

A shaky hand came up to her breast, and Tonks let out an involuntary moan when Remus grazed his thumb across her nipple. She had no idea it could feel so good.

"Beautiful," he gasped.

Remus flicked her nipple with his fingers, making it erect, and Tonks couldn't find the words for how it was making her feel, or why it made her warmer and warmer for his hands to be on her breasts and lavishing such careful attention on them.

"Tell me if I should stop," he said, as his head dipped. His mouth drew closer to her breast, she nodded, and he took her nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it in a dance that made her thoughts dizzy.

A pleasured cry fell from her mouth. She felt embarrassed, but it seemed to spur Remus on, as he moaned and nipped at her pebbled flesh and his hand came up to tease her other nipple.

No boy had ever made her feel like this.

Tonks moaned again; she didn't know what was coming over her, but she needed more. She needed his body on hers, or some way to ease the tension that was between her legs.

"Lay on your back, please," Remus gasped. He looked up at her, with his pupils huge and dark, and he licked his lips hungrily. Tonks shifted and felt Remus's hand resting on her stomach. He kissed her jaw and added, "Tell me what feels good, okay?"

Tonks squeaked a reply and felt his hand dipping lower, lower, and lower, until she felt his fingers touching her most intimate area.

A surprised, but euphoric sound left her tongue as soon as he found her clit.

"So wet for me," he rasped, his finger swiping along her folds, eliciting the most wonderful sensations out of her body. "And beautiful, you're so beautiful . . ."

Tonks arched her back and spread her legs further apart. Remus licked at her breast, the tip of his tongue doing wicked things with her nipple again. She thrust up into his hand. Her body was desperate for the friction he was giving her. She thrashed, with incoherent noises falling out of her impatient mouth, but somehow that didn't deter Remus.

"Let go, Tonks," he said, his voice low and husky. "I want to see you come."

The cry that Tonks made when she hit her peak was like none other in her memory. Her whole body radiated pleasure from head to toe, and Remus was stroking her through wave after wave of ecstatic bliss, with his lips along her neck, leaving soft kisses there as she rode out her high.

When she was able to put words together, she found Remus at her side, gazing at her with such intensity; it was as if she was the only one who mattered, as if there was no world around him.

Then he kissed her. His tongue ran along her lower lip, inviting her to open her mouth for him, and she did. She had only done this once before, and it felt awkward then, but Remus knew what to do. Their tongues met, and though Tonks worried she could be doing it wrong, Remus moaned into her mouth, dismissing all of her fears.

He let go of her lips, his breath hot and heavy. "Tonks, are you ready for more? Do you want to keep going? You can say no—"

"I'm ready."

Remus kissed her again. "I'm going to take my pants off and then we'll keep going. I promise I'll be gentle."

Tonks watched as Remus shifted his pants down. He exposed himself fully to her, and while Tonks felt his gaze on hers, her eyes landed on the space between his legs.

As soon as Tonks saw her husband's erection in its entirety, she froze. The tip was glistening—he was obviously ready for her—and in a few minutes, her body would be receiving his. It was the whole point of this law, and as soon as that night, she might get pregnant.

Real-life-growing-gigantic-and-having-a-newborn-baby- pregnant .

Then everything felt hot and fuzzy.

Tonks opened her eyes. Confusion washed over her, and she suddenly realized her face was being held in someone's hands.

It was a man—it was—her husband .

"Tonks," Remus said urgently, holding her face. "Tonks, we'll stop. It's okay, we won't keep going. Lay down, I'll get you your clothes."

"What?"

Consciousness returned to her. They were in the middle of—she looked down at her body, which was covered in a sheet—weren't they having sex?

Remus's eyes were boring into hers. "You're shaking. I'm sorry, I should've stopped earlier. You're not ready and that's okay, it is—you're frightened, please, please don't be frightened of me, whatever I did, I won't do it again, I'll never hurt you, never—"

"What are you talking about?" Tonks stared at Remus, confused at the sudden change in his demeanor. Was sex over already?

"You fainted for a moment." He still held her face in his warm hands. "I scared you. Let me get your clothes and I'll leave you alone."

"I fainted?"

"Just for a few seconds."

Remus swallowed hard and let go of her face. Tonks was surprised by how much she missed the feeling of his touch. He was on the edge of the bed, his back to her, and had somehow already wrapped a towel around the lower half of his body.

"Wait—" Tonks sat up and clutched the sheet to her chest. "Did we have sex?"

"No, of course not—" Remus gaped at her, horrified. "I would never— never— not if you're not conscious."

Tonks struggled to keep up with what he was saying. It was coming back to her: she felt good, he took off his pants, and then—

"I'm going to get you some water," said Remus. His shoulders were hunched and he rubbed his face. "You can sleep in here tonight. Whatever I did to frighten you, I won't do it again—I don't want you to be scared of me, not ever, I won't hurt you—"

"You didn't scare me," Tonks said, her confusion growing again.

"I . . . didn't?" Remus looked over his shoulder, his lips parted in surprise.

"No, it wasn't you, not really," she mumbled, "I'm just . . . it's hitting me now, that I could get pregnant. I know it sounds stupid, that's the whole point of all this, but . . . what if I'm not ready? I've got to give birth to a whole new person, and it's going to hurt. I'm going to be someone's mother someday."

Remus released a long, relieved-sounding sigh and said, "I thought—it doesn't matter what I thought." He didn't move from his spot, but he did turn to face her.

"We've got a few years before we've got to have a child. There are ways we can prevent anything from happening for a year or two, if it would make you comfortable. Charms, potions, Muggle methods . . . ?"

Tonks shook her head. "Putting it off isn't going to make it any better."

"Is that why you wanted to have sex tonight?" Remus asked, sounding almost hurt. "To get it . . . over with, perhaps?" He faced away from her. An odd sense of guilt settled in her stomach. She didn't want her wedding night to be a letdown, but fainting after seeing her new husband's penis had turned it into a catastrophe.

"No, I was—" Tonks caught herself before she said excited. After Remus had treated her so well, she was sure he would continue to be good to her. "I wanted to keep going," she said, in a low voice. "I . . . I liked what we were doing. I'm not scared of you, or of sex. I'm scared of having a baby."

She closed her eyes, embarrassed by her confession. She felt the mattress shift underneath her and then felt the warmth of Remus's body close to hers.

"I'm sorry. You must be disappointed," she whispered. "This is humiliating."

"I'm not disappointed," Remus said gently. He took her hand and rubbed his thumb along the back of it. "You don't have to be so brave, you know. We could've waited until you were ready."

"But I am ready."

Remus sighed softly. "I don't want you fainting the next time you see me."

"I won't," Tonks said, her tone sounding childish to her. She swallowed her embarrassment and added, "I liked what you did before, with your hand. It felt really good."

"Yeah?" Remus brightened and lifted her chin with his other hand. "I'll do that for you whenever you want."

Tonks felt her cheeks heat up under his penetrating gaze.

"I want you to feel good too," she whispered. "I want you to feel the way you made me feel."

Something rumbled in Remus's chest, or perhaps it was Tonks's imagination that she heard him almost growl.

He inhaled sharply. "I don't want to frighten you."

"You won't." Tonks put her hand on his. She would prove to him that she was ready. "Can I see it— you —again?"

Remus closed his eyes. He looked deep in thought, and he blew air out of his nostrils, steady and even, while he mulled over her request.

"This is what we'll do," he said, "you can see me, touch me, and if you're feeling okay, we'll keep at it. If not, we'll try another day."

Tonks forced every nerve in her body to stay alert while Remus stood and removed the towel from his body.

Remus's body was on display again. He kept a careful watch on Tonks as her eyes roved over him, with her lingering on his cock. It wasn't as hard as it was before, but the longer she looked, the harder he became.

"Can I touch you now?" asked Tonks.

Merlin , he thought to himself. What had he done to deserve a beautiful young wife who was eager to touch him? He needed to give her more pleasure, to show her he deserved her goodness.

Remus got into bed with her and positioned himself so she could wrap her hand around him. Her fingers were light and tentative at first, but even with the barest touch, he shuddered, overwhelmed by how good it felt to have someone touch him there.

"Is that okay, Remus?"

Remus gasped a breathless yes as her hand moved up and down his shaft. He throbbed, thinking he might just come all over her hand if she kept at it.

"Tonks—" he panted, "if—if—"

"You want to do it?" she asked, loosening her hold on him.

"Only if— only if —"

"I want you to, please."

Remus took a deep, shuddering breath. He was lucky he'd lasted this long without self-combusting. He straddled Tonks, all the while keeping a watchful eye on her, and positioned himself at her entrance.

"Still okay?" he asked, as everything in his body told him to plunge inside.

"Yes, very," Tonks replied. Her hands came up to stroke his arms.

Remus held himself above her, his body trembling as he slowly guided himself inside. He merely brushed his tip against her entrance, keeping his gaze on her face, ensuring there was no discomfort. When he saw none, he slowly slid inside and willed his body to stay calm.

Tonks felt incredible .

"Okay?" he gasped, awed by his ability to speak coherently.

"Weird," Tonks replied, "but an okay weird. I think you can move?"

Remus pressed a quick kiss to her forehead and began to move inside her. It took all of his self-discipline to slide slowly, in and out, in and out, in and out, while Tonks's body adjusted to his. He felt her relax around him, her legs coming up to hold him closer, and he moaned, unable to hold in his feelings any longer.

"Oh fuck," he rasped. "I won't . . . won't . . . last long—"

He picked up his speed. It had been years since he was intimate with a woman, and even his imagination had never been able to conjure anything like the stunning beauty beneath him. His movements were getting sloppy, and he hoped he wasn't hurting Tonks, but she was thrusting up with him. Her breasts bounced, her face was flushed, and her bewitching lips formed moans that filled him up with want.

Nymphadora was all he wanted, all he needed, all he'd ever dreamt of. As he thrust in and out of her, his mind and heart were filled with overwhelming gratitude. He was filled with a feeling of wholeness, with a rare assurance that he was still a man, a human man, who had been given the ultimate gift.

All at once, he gave into his release.

Remus saw stars when he came.