"Father is thinking of putting down roots here," said Henri lounging in the chair and playing with the book Xochitl had lent him after Boxing Day—he hadn't read it. She breathed through her nose heartedly, only looking up when she hadn't heard Henri following with his laughter.

He was serious.

She laughed. A tenth grader forced their head through the column of books on the shelf adjacent to them, shushing her. Even then, she had difficulty quelling her laughter.

"That's ridiculous, didn't he say so in the Philippines as well?"

Henri frowned and for a moment or two Xochitl believed he wouldn't answer her question, with his lips pressed together in a grim line.

"That was different," he answered finally. She raised her eyebrow tellingly. He continued, "I said we should stay here, until high school that is."

"And he listened?"

It surprised her how quickly he could revert to his former self as he pushed his chest out. (The book lay forgotten). (Xochitl wished she had more moments—and more chances—in seeing such an annoyed look on his face).

"You'll be amazed at how father makes very few decisions without my input."

She doesn't believe him, and for her to do so, she'll need Mr Schröder to make a personal confession to her, both in verbal and written means.

Henri continued, "Matter of fact, he said until college. Isn't that great?"

She hummed. Xochitl underlined a passage in her book, continuing to the next required reading before she answered him. "So, the life of being an ex-pat has ended?" It wasn't a question, but it sounded like one when she said it.

"It's more like a put-on pause."

She looked up, and he smiled. The teasing one. The smile which promised no good, the one which allowed him to be exempt from the make-up classes that were mandated that everyone under sixty per cent should attend. Although she believed, this was due to some influence of his father. (Heh, perhaps, Henri was right, his father does listen to him). He draws his chair closer, the sound disturbing many around them if the shushes they get in return were anything to go by. He ignored them.

"Listen," Henri started, sounding comically close to those movie bosses or villains explaining their plans to their reluctant audience. "I'll finish uni around twenty, twenty-one. Then I'll have around ten years to travel before father throughout his line and reel me in. And even then, it is not a must that I should stay put to carrying out the business." He slapped the table as he wrap-up his semi-speech. Xochitl wished that Henri was more attuned to his surroundings since more shushes were made towards them.

"That must be great to know what you'll do." It was said in pure jest (perhaps a bit of sarcasm), but Henri missed it.

"Don't we all?"

"No." Again, she wished he was more attuned to his surroundings.

He hummed as he scratched his chin. "But it's good to have a plan, doesn't it, or at least an idea?"

She decided to make herself look busy to delay her response to him. Closing her book and picking up the one she had lent to him. Flipping through the pages searching for any graffiti, satisfied at finding none, she closes it and admired the cover.

A drawing of an Indian woman, hair down and wet as she was knee-deep in a river. In her hand was a fruit, a mango Xochitl supposed. Her surroundings of cat tails, a dense forest of trees and the rolling hills depicted some rural areas of Trinidad. The words 'Ways Of Sunlight' are in a bolded block. It's a good read, too bad Henri would not experience the mastery of Sam Selvon's pen. Looking up, she saw that he was still waiting for an answer. She considered teasing him more, however, in the end, she abandoned such thoughts. Perhaps, another time.

"Sure everyone has plans, but many cannot say with your certainty that it would work out. Many don't even have the luxury of putting it in words. To many, it just and would always be an idea, a thought," Xochitl continued, "To most, it is just a day-by-day living."

She could see his brow knotted. No doubt he would try to change the topic now.

"Why you must be so…" he struggled to find the appropriate word. "Dreary."

Xochitl hunched her shoulders and raised her hands, "Dunno."

Henri drummed his fingers on the table whilst she returned to her studying. Trying to grasp as much she can during this small silence between the two.

"Did you quit your job?"

She shook her head. "It's closed. The manager decided to visit his relatives in México. He returned earlier this week and will open the restaurant on Monday."

"Don't it ever get boring?"

Xochitl smiled as she marked the page with a strip of ribbon. "No, Yamal is always fun to tease." This time he caught onto her jest as he scoffed, playfully flicking a small piece of the paper ball towards her. "Besides, Candlemas is coming up."

"Isn't that in February?"

She hummed. "Yes, but the manager's family is coming to celebrate and to see his business. There will be so much food and music."

Henri slumped. "I am terrible at dancing."

Xochitl laughed. "But you have a good spirit and mother said that's just as good, although my toes will beg to differ." He frowned and she couldn't help but laugh. (She prefers this emotion on him, albeit it could be just that she wasn't used to seeing it on him). Henri's frown deepened as he turned to play with a book as he fold and unfold its cover. Resulting in Xochitl trying to pry it from his hands. A couple of minutes pass before she concluded it would be best for it to be left under the care of Henri. Rather the book than her hand.

A teasing smile was on his lips as he taunted her to a wrestling match which she declined. It didn't deter him as he continued his chatter. "Would you dance with me?"

Xochitl looked up. It was said in a playful tone any passerby would have interpreted as such. But there was something more there. A word—no—a phrase she refused to think about. To acknowledge. An emotion she knew too well, one which she never thought would have the opportunity to see in him. To see it expressed towards her. They are friends. Her only best friends. Xochitl would like it to stay like this. She could say it to Henri. He would have accepted it or at least pretend to. However, she was too much of a coward to do so. Too afraid of acknowledging it. What would she do if the knowledge was now in the open and no longer hidden by an accidental brush of their hands?

She straightened herself and gathered her hands closer to her chest, widening the gap between them and giving Henri a sad smile. (Xochitl hoped it wasn't too noticeable). "Sure, to only help you improve your rhythm."

Xochitl waited for his reaction. He made a puppy face that he knew would make her laugh, and she relaxed. (He was getting better at hiding his disappointment). "Your words hurt me so."

She looked at him. Nothing. Then he laughed, loudly. This time the librarian decided to put an end to his outburst and send him out.

The free period ended soon after and to Henri, it couldn't come any sooner. "If I were to stay another minute by myself I would have died," he said.

"You didn't have to wait."

He scoffed. "As if, nowhere else was an option."

"Hemera had debate club."

Another scoffed. "Then there was truly no other option. That or death."

"You're exaggerating, it can't be that bad…I envy her a bit." Perhaps she should have kept that to herself. Henri looked at her and she get heated in her face. It has been a while since she has been so open with herself with him.

She continued when she noticed he was waiting for her to explain. "It's just that, she has a way with words."

"But I think that's your charm," offered Henri.

Xochitl scoffed this time. "My inability to express my thoughts? Wow, such a compliment."

"It's cute."

"What's cute?" asked Hemera.

Henri jumped in shock. "Gosh, you frighten me."

Hemera apologised, and seeing that he was fine, she repeated her earlier query.

"It's nothing," said Xochitl, waving her hand. The other girl stood rooted, looking from her to Henri. Finally, she accepted it.

"Oh," she said almost defeatedly. "You have football practice today Henri?"

"Yeah, you two are coming to watch?"

"Yes," answered Hemera heartedly.

He looked at Xochitl and she nodded. He pressed his fist into her shoulder and signalled towards Hemera. She hesitated for a moment or two and Xochitl believed she may decline. In the end, the other girl followed suit, chatting eagerly.

The air stung their noses red as the two girls huddled close together So close, that—no doubt—Hemera could feel every breath Xochitl took, and she could smell the other breath—a faint scent of peppermint.

"I should have brought my scarf, we could have shared it."

"Like lovers?" asked Xochitl teasingly.

"Yes, like lovers. Then after we buy drinks—"

"And ride on bikes," she interjected.

"But I cannot ride, can you?"

Xochitls shook her head. "We will learn as we go."

"Aren't you optimistic?"

"You don't believe we could learn?"

"Only thing I believe we would accomplish is getting into an accident."

Xochilt's pinched the other girl's nose. She giggled at the gesture after she rested her head on her shoulders which surprised her. Eventually, she relaxed under the touch and the two fell into a comfortable silence.

"Oh, I forgot! How was the date?"

Ah, that. Xochitl has been trying to forget that. However, that night always came back to haunt her. Whether it be in her sleep or her moment of silence. So suddenly. So quickly. Without any warnings.

"Was it that bad?"

Startled, she craned her neck to stare back at Hemera. The other girl's hair tickled her cheek. "How did you know?"

Hemera offered a smile: one which gave Xochilt a chance to appreciate how perfectly aligned her teeth were. "Your silence is telling."

A sigh. "It…we kissed—"

"Then why I'm now hearing about it, was it any good?"

"..."

Xochitl looked out into the open. The players in the school colours dotted the damped field(she think she saw Henri waving at them—her). A thicket of naked trees, grey sky and the smoky view of the city skylines. Odd, she had just noticed that they were no sounds of nature, just a complete stillness. Everything is still, quiet, grey, cold and dead. Winter is quite a drab month, and she decided then, that she hated it.

She shrugged her shoulders at the query. Another gasped as the other girl straighten herself. "Was he that bad of a kisser?"

"No, it's just…" she paused to gather her thoughts, her words. "He's a great kisser. We kissed several times that night but, I expected it to be different." Xochitl continued, "To feel something, perhaps it's just…I have this great idea of having my first kiss and it didn't live up to my expectation."Finished she wet her lips. A bit relieved that she got that out. Even more grateful that Hemra waited and listened.

"We all have these great expectations that cannot be met because it is not real."

"Maybe, but it did just feel odd."

Nothing. Just the shouts of the football players and the angry whistle of the coach.

"Have you talked to Shuji about this?"

"No."

"Has he not reached out?" Hemera sounded hurt and Xochitl could almost laugh at how personally she was taking her problem.

"Yes, but I don't answer his messages."

"Why not? You should share these thoughts with him if you want it to work."

"That's it, I don't think he would be interested." She remembered their talk. His supposed words of endearment. Of how she stayed silent then and now she remained silent. Perhaps she should just overlook it. It was her first crush (well the first she remember) and he like her back! How lucky, right? It doesn't feel like that and she knew it.

"Then it's not worthwhile continuing then, isn't it?" Hemera stared, inspecting her, waiting... In the end, she said nothing.

Perhaps Hemera would have continued the conversation but halftime had brought about a rather unexpected distraction. Xochitl watched the track team make their way onto the field. The members warm up, some talk while others watch the current practice match. In their number was Ryuuzu, who was busy talking to one of his teammates, when he stopped, looked up and waved at her. Ever since their talk he has been more open with her. He even stops to talk with her in the hallways at school (to the surprise of Henri and Hemera). It let her wonder, what was it that drove them apart? Or was it nothing at all? No, there was (is) something. Xochitl could tell that there is something amiss. It was how Ryuuzu looked at her during every conversation. Analysing her every reaction (or lack thereof). This fretful anticipation after said talk as though he was waiting for her to question him, to jump out at him To judge him.

She shook her head at the thought. When she came to, Ryuuzu was a bench below them, his hands in his pockets. He greeted Hemera cordially and she does the same after he turned to his sister.

"Are you staying until my track practice is over?"

She could feel Hemera tighten the grasp on her arms, her way of encouraging her to accept.

Xochitl nodded yes.

"That's great, we can go out and eat after," at the motion of his thump at 'we', she noticed that there was someone else there. A friendly round face boy, who barely reached Ryuuzo's shoulder. He soon noted this as he introduced him. "Oh, this is Satō Noa," he said flippantly.

"Ah, Noa I heard that you were sick," Hemera said incredulously.

"It was just a stomach ache. I guess I ate something bad, but don't worry I will be at the next debate meeting."

"You're just sensitive," Ryuuzu added. Noa ignored his comment as he continued( his ears now red), "Ryuuzu had already informed the president that I will not be going with you guys tomorrow. If I didn't do so he'll be with me in the nurse's office the entire free session."

Xochilt watched how her brother laughed through his nose.

"I'm glad you're okay. Though I'm a bit relieved that it wasn't a bug. My mother always complains about how easily I caught the flu compared to others."

"Me too, then it would have been both of us on the nurse's bed. Then who would have comforted you then?" Ryuuzu jest.

The colour spread from Noa's ear to the rest of his face, reaching down to his neck. He tried to slap her brother but he easily dodged it. With every miss garnered a laugh from them both. Xochitl watched the two boys as their play evolve into a wrestling match. It reminded her of when they were both younger in the yard with their mother's hibiscus flowers and the spreading shade of the mango trees.

"They're rather close," whispered Hemera. Her breath warmed her ear. "They're both quite popular. Have I told you how the club number has gone up ever since Noa joined?" Hemera playfully nudged her side as she leaned closer. "Don't come to me complaining when the girls find out your relation with Ryuuzu and begin pestering you for his number," a wink and giggle. She continued to talk but it was all just white noise as Xochitl continued to watch the two. Ryuuzu through his head back laughing and she watched Noa watching him.

Xochitl had been expecting him this time as she waved at her kouhai. He seemed taken aback, however, he quickly regain his composure.

"I should have told you about the store closing over the holidays," she started. "Sorry about that."

He waved his hands as if batting away the current tone. "It's okay, I should have known that most stores would be closed. My friends and I went to another outlet, it was shit."

She didn't catch the last word but from his tone and the gasp from a nearby customer, she could tell it was not anything good. It reminded her of her brother's sharp tongue and how it would get both of them in trouble. She still could feel the sting of her mother's hands from the many childhood lashings.

"How about I give you an extra side of plantains?" Xochitl didn't think the manager would mind. However, the same couldn't be said for Yamal. Oh well, she thinks she could persuade the cook otherwise. He had developed this not-so-subtle liking towards her mother and it begin to show through his gifts of sweets and a large pot of beans and rice.

"That's nice. I told my mother about them but they are quite hard to get in regular stores."

"You can go to Shinjuku and Yokohama if she doesn't mind the drive."

He scoffed. "Or I could get it myself," he noted rather proudly.

Ah, she forgot that have a bike. It still bothers her how reckless of a decision that could be but decided to keep such thoughts to herself. She always hated when her mother reprimanded her, so why should she do the same?

"Oh, I forgot, I got these new parts for my bike, you wanna see?"

Xochitl declined as she spared a look at her watch. "Another time, my break would be over soon."

She could see how he become deflated and she rummaged for conversation but instead settle to watch the sun dipping gradually in the sky, dying the clouds in a beautiful pink. Besides, she knew she didn't have to wait too long for her kouhai to break the silence.

"How was your holiday?"

She laughed through her nose heartedly as she scratched the side of her thump. "Dull, I visited relatives in the country…" a pause as she idly watched a couple. "But church was nice." Xochitl can still remember sister Galang bibingka. She would have told him this but decided against boring the kid. He could only take so much of her dull talks. Feeling generous ( and goaded by the subdued look on his face) she parroted his earlier question. He was most elated to share, like always he talked slowly and went over any words she doesn't understand. Although, there were times he would be too caught up in emotions and his story that it was impossible to do such.

"Your holiday seemed much more eventful than mine—Oh, right! You're still on for this Saturday?"

He tilted his head going over her words. His face brightens when clarity set in. "Yes," a pause and a shuffle. "I thought you forgot." This seems as though it was weighing on him. It was so unlike him, this uncertainty and it serves to remind Xochitl that he was only a boy, almost two years her junior. His bright demeanour always made her forget or perhaps she was being over her head. What could she possibly know about him, she only knew for a month.

"I have not." How could she, it was the only sensible store which cater to her taste. Yamal then came from the kitchen, reminding her that her break have ended.

About to leave her kouhai outstretched his hands, touching her inner arm. "Can I get your number?" He looked astonished, as though he was taken aback by what he had said. Yet despite this, he remained his eye contact. Xochitl break this as she spare a look over her shoulders but Yamal was gone and the place was sparse of customers.

"Sure." He smiled one that crinkled his eyes and peeled his lips open, revealing two crooked canines. Yaeba she believed it was called. Before leaving she said, "The same or—"

"I'll like a chollo today."

A pause, and then Xochitl giggled. "You mean chorro?"

He blushed as he nodded. "You're practising?' Her tone was a bit teasing. Her kouhai blush deepen and soon he turned his face to the door. Perhaps, she shouldn't push him too much. Yamal called again and she brushed him off. The older boy fling his hands into his air as he mumbled under his breath. She hope he doesn't take her teasing too seriously, Yamal always said that she was so childish, so mean. She tapped his shoulders as he turned to face her, and she then crouched to his height.

"It's nice that you're trying, I'll see if I can get you more serving of rice." A wink.

With the evening sun bleeding in through the window and resting on his face, Xochitl took note of how he grew over the short break. For one, his face was no longer round the baby fat had slimmed from his cheeks. His hair now passed his ears and at this rate, she believed he would need a hair bank to keep it from getting in his face. She was so close she could have counted each fleck in his eyes. Soon she straighten herself, hoping that she hadn't come off too intrusive.

"Can we talk after?" There was something there. Another question—a beseechment—hidden in his query. Perhaps she could unravel it and see what it was, but…

"Don't think I can. I have a feeling Yamal going to assign me extra work." Xochitl went into her pocket and took out her phone and there was written in hiragana, his name. "I'll message you soon…Keisuke." She wasn't always good with calling people surnames, it seemed too stiff, like wearing newly bought church clothes. Her school being a mixture of locals and foreigners there was this leeway to address peers by their first name, just further solidifying this notion of her. But here now, she realized that perhaps her kouhai might not be so generous to her impoliteness. She hurried to correct herself but he speak first.

"Sochito, you can text me while you're working the register since it's not too busy today." Ah. There it was. That obtrusive personality of his, perhaps if he wasn't her kouhai she would dismiss him. Perhaps.

Sorry for going away for so long, but uni has gotten quite hectic. My last exam was on the 22nd of December and I was burned out. My classes begin next week and I decided before life yet again become even more hectic I should give an update. This chapter is a bit rough as I have not gone through it but I think this story is long overdue for an update.

I don't know if I will be able to update regularly but I will try my best that it would at least update every month. Happy New Year Guys.