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Chapter 5: The Farplane

Five years hadn't been enough to scrub the evidence of the LeBlanc Syndicate's chokehold on Guadosalam, but at least the atmospheric underground settlement was no longer as aggressively tourist-driven as it had been before.

"Probably because of Isaaru and his cultural heritage site movement again," Rikku mumbled, still a little uncomfortable with the idea of actually affording the former summoner something like her respect. She was unable to stop a grin from forming when she spotted a teenaged Guado girl sporting the latest Lucan fashion sprint past her on the streets below. Much like the Ronso, there weren't all that many Guado left in the world; the scars of Seymour's last war still ran deep throughout all of Spira. But the world had healed over enough for the few that remained to slowly return to their forest homeland, once again becoming the caretakers of the Farplane.

On the bright side, the residents were no longer as conceitedly xenophobic as they'd been in the past. Less optimistically, the results of LeBlanc's commercialization remained everywhere, from the loud pink signposts and trinket boutiques on every street corner to the luxury chain hotel still running out of Seymour's former residence. Even if the gnarled, ancient tree roots and strange, symbiotic architecture remained, there was no denying it – the Eternal Calm had changed the face of Guadosalam permanently.

As she walked the streets, swaying with her arms behind her back, she was glad she'd taken Jecht's advice and changed her appearance. Short chestnut hair reminiscent of Yuna's framed her face and her eyes were a completely unremarkable shade of brown. She'd managed to leave Macalania and arrive in Guadosalam mostly unnoticed. It felt strange, though, walking through her life in a body that wasn't exactly her own. Without her long blonde hair with its beaded braids clacking around her she felt strangely exposed and alien, even more out of place than when she transformed into Eden.

It was that discomfort which spurred her to hurry towards the Gate, hoping to return to her own appearance as quickly as possible. The traffic in the city was thin; she'd purposefully chosen the early hours of the morning to avoid the crowds while making her visit. Still, as she entered the winding tunnel leading to the portal, she slowed at the sight of a familiar figure waiting near the entrance.

"Maechen?"

"Hmm? Oh my, hello there, young lady," he greeted, adjusting his glasses. "You seem so familiar… have I perchance made your acquaintance?"

"Oh! Well, umm… can you keep a secret?"

Maechen stroked his beard. "I'm afraid not if it pertains to history, my dear. But if it concerns other matters, mum's the word."

Rikku drew close, letting her eyes return to their natural swirled green. "Well, I'm not planning on changing history or even making it anymore, so we're good, right? It's me, Rikku. How've you been?"

"Lady Rikku Pollendina! Why now, there's quite the furor going on about your family, isn't there?" Maechen said in surprise. He gestured at her hair. "I can see why you might well choose discretion. And yes, I do indeed remember you. We met on Lord Braska's pilgrimage, did we not?" His rheumy pale blue eyes grew distant. "Or was it Lady Yuna's? I can't seem to recall anymore," he muttered.

"Does it really matter? I'm here right now." She grinned, delighted by her luck. "In fact, you're just the person I wanted to see. You've been alive for a while, right?" she asked cautiously, not sure of the state of his memory.

"Hmm," Maechen replied noncommittally. "That is one fairly inaccurate way to phrase it, yes. But I much prefer to speak of history rather than myself, as you well know. Would you like to hear a story?"

Danger! Rikku brought up her hands to wave him down before he could launch into one. "In a way, yeah. I wanted to know if you ever heard about any Fayth that managed to make themselves human again."

"Oh-ho! Now that is an interesting question! And one I believe I've never been asked before," he said, closing his eyes and thinking. "I'm afraid I must disappoint you though, my dear. To become a Fayth is something akin to death itself, you see. A summoner must sacrifice that individual's life, freezing the soul in the moment of its transition, and bind it to a sacred stone. This is why breaking the Fayth stone destroys a Fayth, you see. The trapped soul is then released from its prison and can once again rejoin the flow of time. Which of course would result in a true human death for that soul." He looked thoughtful. "I suppose that does mean that a Fayth which has been utterly destroyed will have a brief moment of being human once more. But such a moment is fleetingly transient."

She couldn't help it; her legs gave out from under her and she sat down, hard. Back then, Yunalesca had forced Braska to kill Jecht?

"I don't have fond memories of this chamber."

She dropped her head into her hands. "What an understatement, Braska," she muttered, feeling sick.

"Oh my! I'm so sorry Lady Rikku, I had idea this information would upset you so much." Maechen leaned over to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. He paused then tapped her shoulder again, this time more experimentally. "Oh, I… see."

"Yeah, well…" She raised her head and took in a deep, cleansing breath. "Maybe let's keep that info to ourselves in the future, right? I don't think it'd be a good idea to reintroduce that kind of knowledge to Spira."

"You do make a compelling point," Maechen said, stepping back and patting his beard thoughtfully. "I will try to remember it in the future, though I admit... at my age, it's difficult to make such promises, let alone abide by them."

"Well, how about a different question then. About… Unsent," she said, letting the question hang between them.

"Hmm." Maechen looked at her shrewdly. "Yes. What is it about us that you'd like to know?"

"How do you manage to stay like that?" She gestured at Maechen abstractly. "You know… not all fiendy. What keeps you sane?"

Maechen sighed, then took off his glasses and began to wipe them absently. "To be honest, I do not actually know. My circumstances are rather special, you see. For I did not remember what I was for most of these past thousand years." He replaced his spectacles and cleared his throat. "There is no reason to be envious of the living if you believe yourself to be one of them."

"So you think you might end up like the others now that you know?" she asked, a tiny spark of worry igniting within her.

"Oh, nothing so dramatic," Maechen chuckled. "I'm not nearly passionate enough about life to fall prey to malice. What really gets my crockpot cooking, if you will, is the preservation of history. It is my calling, and my duty. All else… is irrelevant," he mused. "I suppose one day, I will once again forget what I am, and thus, avoid the danger of losing myself to the desire to be human. After all, history is a living creature, and it takes quite the effort to commit it all to memory." He thought about it for a moment, and then nodded at her. "Yes, I believe that is it. An Unsent can resist the call of malice and retain their humanity so long as they have something which they believe in. A destiny greater than their own personal concerns."

Rikku's face fell. Auron had remained himself for so long because he had just such a mission: to destroy Sin and the corrupt Church of Yevon in the process. Now that his goals had been accomplished, what was to keep him from descending into a fiend? Trema had been just as strong-willed as Auron, but after Sin was defeated, he'd lost his purpose. Belgemine, as well… though at least the woman had allowed Yuna to send her before she could become the unholy terror that Trema had transformed into.

Sighing, she scrubbed her hair irritably. Maechen was the oldest Unsent she'd ever met, apart from Shuyin and Lenne. And both Shuyin and Lenne had been… well, not exactly stable. If even Maechen couldn't give her a good answer, how in the world was she supposed to help Auron?

"Oh, it seems I've disappointed you again. I do apologize. But is there anything else you wish to ask me? Something I can assist you with, perhaps?"

"Yeah," Rikku sighed. "Three's a charm, right? Do you know anything about Fayth that, um… well, that weren't made from human souls?"

Maechen scratched his head. "Was there something like that…?" After a moment, he brightened. "Oh! Yes, yes of course! It was so long ago, you see, I nearly forgot. Yes, such creatures indeed once existed."

Rikku sprung to her feet, thrumming with excitement. "So they are real! Why did the summoners resort to making aeons out of people then?"

"Oh, we didn't call them aeons," Maechen told her, shaking his head. "They were far too weak for that. Eidolons, they were named. Creatures that formed the basis for the Fayth we know of today. The research was abandoned because most of them were too difficult to control. Hardly any eidolons created were capable of offensive magic." He chuckled softly. "The penchant for violence remains a uniquely human condition."

"So what happened to them all?"

"A sad story, that. Most of them were destroyed in the great Machina war, used as shields for the populace against the relentless Bedohl army. I would be quite surprised if any survived into our modern era."

"Huh." She swayed back and forth on her feet, eager to learn more. "Let's say one of them had. What would I be looking for, exactly? The same type of Fayth stone an aeon has?"

"Oh, no no, nothing of the sort. An Eidolon stone is much smaller than a Fayth stone. About the size of a very large rock, or perhaps a gem," he explained, holding up his palms to demonstrate.

"Yes!" She danced in place for a moment, before reaching out and giving the old man a hug. "That was exactly what I needed to hear! Thanks, Maechen!"

"Yes, well!" he said, clearing his throat and extracting himself from her grasp. Setting his robes to right, he smiled at her. "It brings me joy to hear this old man was able to be of some use to you, Lady Rikku. Now, if you'd like to hear a story about—"

"Oh wow! Look at the time!" Rikku gushed, holding her cheeks as she turned her dance into a jog. "I better get going before I'm late to my, uh, meeting!"

"You have a meeting on the Farplane?" Maechen asked with confusion. "But the Farplane is eternal, my dear. There's no need to rush."

"Oh, there's very much a need," she corrected. "I've got a meeting with destiny, and I've been putting it off for five years already. I gotta run. Thanks again!" Waving, she turned and sprinted down the hallway.

"Oh… very well then! Goodbye, Lady Rikku! I hope we meet again…" she heard him call after her, but she didn't slow her pace or look back. Chatting with Maechen could easily add another month or two to her journey if she let him have his way.

She stopped before the steps leading towards the portal, taking in the sight. Once she crossed the Gate, Auron would be able to see her if he was watching for her. Slowly, she climbed up the steps, wondering if he was… and what he'd have to say to her.

He promised to wait for me, she reminded herself, before taking a deep breath and stepping through.

Cool air and rustling winds greeted her; the pyreflies swirled around her as if to welcome her home. Thankfully, there was no one else present on the platform, so she relaxed and let her hair return to its natural length and color. Then, glancing around, she spotted him. Auron was sitting on a rock, looking out over the edge at the endless fields of flowers. He half-turned when she came in, his eye widening, and he stood. His face was scarred, one eye permanently shut, and the unruly hair at his temples was still adorned with streaks of white. He hadn't reverted completely into his older appearance, though there were more lines on his face than she'd remembered seeing the last time they'd parted. They were rapidly smoothing out as she raced to meet him.

"Rikku! What are you doing here?"

He grunted as she hit him full speed, pushing him over the edge and sending them hurtling towards the flowers below. Wrapping his arms around her, he laughed and pulled her close. "You have a plan, I assume?"

"What, you don't like smashing into the ground at terminal velocity?" she joked as she summoned her suit around her body. With a blast of her jets, she took them further into the grassy fields, dusting over the tops of the flower fields in a whirlwind of petals. She set them down gently near an enormous waterfall. As her suit fell away, she snuggled into him, turning her face into his chest. "I missed you, Auron."

His arms tightened around her. "As did I. But… what are you doing here? It's much too soon."

She pouted, looking up at him. "Too soon for what? It's been five years already! Five long, Auron-less years," she said, peppering kisses over his neck and cheek between her words. "I wanted to see you again." Her voice dropped to a soft whisper and her light, eager touches turned into a more purposeful caress. "I wanted to be with you again."

"You came back too soon," he repeated, his voice turning stern as he extracted himself from her grip. He held himself stiffly in her arms; Jecht's favored nickname for him never felt more appropriate. Releasing him reluctantly, Rikku took a step back and tried to meet his eye. "Auron?"

He refused to look at her, his head turned so that she could only glimpse his scarred eyelid. Sucking in her breath, she pushed up against him, forcing him to acknowledge her invasion of his personal space. "Why don't you want this? Haven't you missed me?" She pressed herself even closer, trying to make her point physical.

Finally, he let out a sigh and turned his head just enough to look at her. "You know what sex means to me," he told her bluntly. "I cannot 'simply' seek release with you. This is not an itch to be scratched, Rikku. My body and my soul are one entity now. To give you this body once more would be to give you my very soul. And to damn myself in the process."

His rejection was like a stinging slap in her face. What followed wasn't hurt, but anger. "Excuse me? Is that all I am to you now, some kind of lust demon visiting just to tempt you off of your chosen path of self-flagellation? You think I'm gonna eat you alive?" Well, there was some truth in that last part in the most salacious sense. Still, it wasn't like accepting her feelings again would shatter his soul… would it?

Like you did to Braska.

"Stop!" Auron's arms circled her, though his face was as tight with frustration as his voice. It was as if he could hear her thoughts. Maybe he could; they hadn't needed words, by the end of their time together. "You are no demon, Rikku. Don't let my candor do yourself that disservice." He closed his eye and bent down, touching his forehead to hers. When he spoke again, his voice was pained. "You're the most beautiful woman in my entire world. My most passionate love, my most painful regret. Taking you here would mean to reforming the connection we had twenty years ago. Re-igniting those passions. Now more than ever, with my body like this, that would mean losing myself. Losing my tether to my sanity, and what little remains of my humanity." His grip loosened, and he eased away from her. "My love for you will consume me. Turn me into a twisted, jealous version of myself that will seek nothing but revenge in my envy for the living. It's too dangerous."

She shook her head, a lump rising in her throat. He really believed that? That history would repeat itself, that they were destined to fail? That there could never be a happy ending for lovers born into the wrong times?

In the past, she would have capitulated. Cried, perhaps. Seen his point of view after agonizing endlessly over it. But this time, she wasn't alone. She didn't have to rely on her own thoughts and insecurities to answer him. The world had moved on from Sin's cloying despair; people were finally learning that sacrifice could be a choice, rather than a mandate. Somehow, while lingering in the Farplane, Auron had missed the memo.

It was a common theme among everyone she'd met in this new world. That happiness wasn't something that happened to you; it was something you reached out and grabbed for yourself with both hands. "Being greedy means staying here, for me," Tidus had explained in Besaid. Paine, as happy as she'd been to see her again, also made clear that her priority was with the Guardians now. "I, too, want to be greedy," Braska told her in Zanarkand, not just in the pursuit of her love but also in search of his own return to humanity. Brother proudly declared "I am a Gullwing first!" as he stepped out from underneath Keyakku's shadow. Gippal had grasped her hand, trying to convince her to stay and take on the burden of Al Bhed leadership with him. Heck, even Jecht wanted a dog, and Jecht was self-admittedly the least in touch with his humanity of them all.

Was loving her so dangerous, really? Or was Auron just trying to distance and protect himself on the non-zero chance that things could go wrong between them again? He'd lived a lifetime of hurt; so much so that his soul hadn't been able to move on, not even after Yuna sent him back to the Farplane.

Wait. She froze, her brain working to connect the dots. If he wants me to move on from him, then why is he waiting for me?

She felt as though the world was becoming clearer as her thoughts coalesced, forming a picture that her tangled emotions in the past had never allowed her to see.

He's being selfish too! Refusing to move on and instead watching over her, waiting for her to return. Fully expecting her to declare his voluntary loyalty to her unnecessary and seal his own miserable fate.

If she considered it objectively, that was the real distortion taking place in his thinking as an Unsent. A fully human Auron would have jumped at every chance available to him to be together with her. It had been a driving obsession by the end of Braska's pilgrimage, and a contributing factor to his mental breakdown after Sin's defeat.

So… this reluctance on his part wasn't about being able to love her as an Unsent. No; he'd already started to bend and warp his humanity away with each moment he clung onto his afterlife. Even now he still tried to pave a one-way path towards his final rejection, as if no other options existed. He was hanging around just to justify ending their story with his return to oblivion.

It's up to me to make him more human by showing him just how wrong he is. She considered Auron standing there, looking more forlorn than she'd ever seen him. Still trying to chase her away rather than embrace her.

"The problem with you is that you see selfishness as a flaw," she huffed at him. "But it's not wrong to be a little selfish too sometimes, you know? I understand that now. Are you thinking of something like 'the greater good'? Because you can't look out for that if you aren't looking out for yourself, first."

He stared at her, surprised by her pushback. Reaching up, she placed her palms against both of his cheeks, forcing him to see her. To look at her as the adult she was now, rather than his memory of her as an insecure girl trying to juggle the weight of Spira's future on her own. For once in her life, she was dead certain that he was wrong.

"Being selfish and self-centered, wanting to make ourselves happy… that's what it means to be human, for better or for worse. That's what returning to humanity taught me in these last five years. And trying your way, denying that I missed you – that was what made me the unhappiest. It was obvious to everyone except me, at least until my friends staged an intervention." She released him with a confident smile. "So that's what I'm gonna do for you. Consider this an intervention."

Then she grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved. It shouldn't have worked; he was so much stronger than her. But his surprise gave her an edge, as did the foot she hooked around his ankle. He went down with a grunt, splayed amongst the flowers. Looming over his prone body, she glared at him.

"I'm tired of following your lead. I'm not gonna go with the flow anymore, Auron. Doing that only gives me regrets, and I'm so done with those." As she spoke, her fingers worked at the clasps on her vest. She shrugged it off, leaving her in her revealing mesh undershirt.

His eye widened.

"I've decided that I wanna be with you. If that's dangerous, then that's my choice to make. I think if you were really that scared, you would have moved on already. But here you are, waiting for me." As she spoke, she peeled off her skirt, then her socks and boots. He flinched as each item hit the ground beside him. "What's a girl supposed to think when you do something like that, huh? You really believe I'd settle for flowers and sweet words from somebody else when you've been hanging around here for years, giving me your life?"

Bending forward, she stripped off her mesh shirt and then straddled his thighs. His drank in the sight of her in hungrily, but his hands gripped at the earth below him, his fingers digging grooves into the soft loam rather than her skin. Biting her lip, she tamped down on her annoyance and redoubled her efforts to seduce him.

"If you really believe loving me is going to turn you into a monster, then I'll accept that." She leaned over him and planted her palms into the ground, caging his head. "You'd be my monster. And I'd just turn into a worse monster than you anyhow." Her lips brushed by his ear. He sucked in a deep breath and trembled at her low whisper. "I won't let you hurt anyone. But I'm not gonna let you run away, either. This time I'm going to find my way, just like you told me to."

"Rikku," he choked out, his face flushed.

She grabbed his chin forced him to watch her. "Don't you dare look away," she hissed. "Talking big about all the things I might do to you. Well what about what you do to me? This isn't just about me wanting you."

"We— we shouldn't—" He shuddered, nearly bucking her off, and she let out a peal of laughter.

"We totally should. But okay," she said, backing off, stifling a giggle at the tiny whine he made. "I'm not gonna force you." They both stared at one another for a long moment, breathing heavily.

"This," she said, gesturing between them. "Is about you telling me to move on. Demanding that I find a new love and life for myself with somebody else. How could you do that to me? How could you be that cruel? I still love you. I traveled to the past for you."

He grimaced in pain. "And you made me live through your childhood," he answered, his voice laced with acid. "You knew. You knew what would come, and yet you still made me suffer through every moment of hope I had with you. Watching you during Yuna's pilgrimage was misery. To see you like that, an innocent child on the cusp of adulthood with a baseless crush on an old man twice your age! You knew nothing of what you would one day reduce me to. You forced me to become your Guardian, and I could reveal nothing to you! You are the one who was cruel, Rikku."

She leaned back, unable to deny it, but blinked and pushed through the shock of his verbal assault. His words were barbed; he was aiming to hurt her. Maybe this was what he meant about being Unsent; he'd already cut himself off from all of the happiness he'd felt and dwelled on his suffering.

"Auron." She reached out and grabbed his hand. "So maybe I jumped the gun here, but… you're right about sex. It shouldn't be something we do to escape from our pain and regrets. What I want…"

She closed her eyes and thought about seeing Braska again in Zanarkand. The teasing, the innuendos, those had always been there even during his life. But beneath it, when she'd finally accepted him, was his disbelief. As if he thought he hadn't deserved anything anymore. Showing him how she'd felt had been cathartic for both of them; rather than bringing her guilt, it filled her with a sense of relief.

That's what I want with Auron. Not the angry, desperate lust we had for each other during Braksa's pilgrimage. I do want his soul.

"You're the one putting this divide between us. I just want to heal it." Opening her eyes, she looked at him. "I can get sex from anyone, Auron. But I can't find healing with anybody else except you."

A muscle in his cheek jumped. Then he turned away from her. "Then you'll have to remain broken."

Anger flickered to life and licked through her. Well, if the only emotions that could move him now were his darker ones, she wasn't above using dirty tricks to make him listen. "You know, I slept with Braska."

He froze, then turned around slowly. "What? When?"

"A few days ago."

Auron's look of fury melted into surprise. "How—"

"I brought him back temporarily," she continued before he could interrupt her, running her fingers through her ponytail and carefully releasing it. "He wasn't completely himself, but he remembered enough of his life to want me." Messy blonde locks interspersed with braids tumbled down over her shoulders. "And I remembered enough to want him back. So we did it." She stopped combing through her hair and touched her neck instead. "He was good. Really good. But he wasn't you. It was gratifying, but he couldn't fill that emptiness you left behind."

With an audible sigh, she began to explore her own body before him. Watching Auron stare, enraptured, made her skin prickle. The soft, ever-present wind of the Farplane whispered past her ears and raised goosebumps along her skin.

His throat bobbed as he swallowed, and his voice came out hoarser than usual when he spoke. "What do you think you're doing?"

"That voice. Vilg, it's like melted chocolate. Say something else, Auron. Please."

Between the pants of her breath, coming faster now, she heard the rustle of his clothing as he pushed himself up to his elbows. His gaze, already darkened with anger, was now growing hazy a different kind of passion. "Please!" she begged again, unashamed of her blatant plea.

He sat up fully, unable to look away, and leaned toward her. His hand wrapped around her wrist, stopping her motion, and his thumb traced over her pulse point. "Do you like touching yourself?"

Ahh, she thought, her voice catching on a sob as she swayed into his chest.

"Rikku," he groaned, and she twisted free of his grasp, carried away by the sound of his voice.

Hazily, she heard him swear. "You missed laying with me so much that you had to ask Braska for help?"

It was hard to concentrate on his words when he was so close. "You enjoy this entirely too much," he rebuked her, taking over for her.

"This," she puffed, grabbing onto his shoulders and clinging to him. "Is more than sex. What I like is you, Auron." Her breath left her in a wheeze. "What I missed is you." One hand found the back of his neck and forced him down. Her lips met his in a hard, desperate kiss that revealed much more than her quivering body did.

He froze, and she used the opportunity to make quick work of his trousers, drawing a groan out of him that she felt all the way down to her toes.

Releasing her, he shifted his hold, lifting her in a casual display of his strength. Her thoughts stuttered to a stop when he used that same power to pull her towards him and thrust into her with one solid, forceful motion.

"Auron," she wept, overtaken not only the feel of him, but also her own memories. Her fingers clawed at his back, as if she could pull him in deeper and keep him there; she shuddered and felt complete for the first time since returning to her Spira.

Part of her wondered if he felt it, too… the connection between them, beyond the purely physical cravings of lovemaking. He'd said his body was also his soul now. Was he simply moving in response to her overtures like an animal unable to deny its instincts? Or was his soul shaking as much as her body was?

Gripping her hips tightly, he held her aloft; his one eye was wide, drinking in her expression. Reading something in what he saw, he answered her unspoken question. "Yes."

Warmth flooded through her. "Then—"

"You win," he added, the faint hint of a smile easing the tension between them. It dropped as he regarded her solemnly. "I'm sorry."

She couldn't stop the warm feeling that was spreading through her at his words; she didn't want to. Leaning over, she kissed him: a sloppy, teeth-jarring thing that really wasn't sexy at all, considering their compromising position. But it was enough to get her point across – her joy, her relief, and her acceptance of him and everything he'd become in their time apart. He met it with no less eagerness, his fingers digging into her sides, huffing a laugh against her impatient, questing lips.

She reared her head back, pouting. "Hey, no laughing at me." Then her expression turned coy and she shifted against him. "… Just how sorry are you, anyway?"

He answered by arcing his back, no longer holding himself back. Her breath left her in a whoosh and she scrabbled for purchase, completely at his mercy. In a feat of dexterity she was particularly proud of, she lifted her legs higher and wrapped them around his waist.

That was what undid him. His face flushed red, unable to tear his eye away from hers. His eyebrows drew together and his mouth fell open as he panted. A helpless groan bubbled up from deep within his chest; together with the look on his face, she was enraptured. He was losing control; losing the stoic distance he'd perfected wearing. And suddenly, in that moment, he looked achingly human again; like the man who had loved her, who'd feared losing her, who'd swore he'd start a family with her. His vulnerable look pushed her over the edge.

Her high dissipated slowly; as she came back to her body, she realized Auron was still going. The look on his face was tortured, but he didn't stop moving, simply slowing enough to accommodate her descent.

"Wha—" Her words cut off into a whine as he thrust against her. "Auron," she gasped. "W-why don't you—"

He bent his head into her neck and bit at her earlobe. "No," he said lowly. "You wanted this. You asked for it. Now, you'll receive it." When he pulled back, his gaze was hungry, as if he wanted to devour her whole.

She realized, then, as he continued to move, that she wasn't alone. He, too, was holding back years of desire for her. Many more. How he must have pushed his wants and his needs away for so long, trying to force her to move on from him. She was his tether to the Farplane, despite his duty being long fulfilled. Now, as he rose above her, his faced pinched with vehement intensity, it was as if he was trying to make that bond a physical one.

Her thoughts were beginning to scatter; Auron was too good at shutting off her brain and making her feel. Still, past the physicality of the act, there was a fervor to him that could easily go dark. Fear, she realized. He was scared, frightened of succumbing to his obsession, of turning into an Unsent like Trema or Seymour. She could feel it in her bones; feel the churning anger, regret, loss, and lust powering his movements. His grip was like iron, and she curled her fingers around his palms, trying to ground him.

It was a losing battle; a fire she'd stoked in him that was rapidly growing out of control. The air grew hot and humid around them, sweat beading on both of their bodies as the Farplane reacted to their wills. Rikku felt herself being consumed by his dark compulsions. The rush was overcoming her despite her attempts to focus and see him; her pulse roared in her ears.

He came with a wordless yell, sending her into another blinding orgasm. When she came back to herself, he was flipping her over and pulling her to her knees, no longer gentle.

"I love you," he grit out.

She let out a long breath in shock. How is he already – ? Auron moved behind her, his hands sliding down her back, and she realized his body was similar to hers now – an existence made of willpower and thought. She'd teased and tested him, not realizing that the further she drove him, the more she separated him from his mortal constraints.

She couldn't concentrate; he was scattering her consciousness into mindless pleasure with each movement. Then he murmured, and everything went white as the Cure spell crashed through her from his fingertips, amplifying every sensation almost painfully.

He was still moving when she was able to feel her own body again; her legs were going numb, and his hands were struggling to find purchase on her sweat-drenched skin.

No… I have to take back control of this, she thought. She bit her lip harshly, focusing on the pain to drown him out. Focus, Rikku!

She pushed herself off of the ground and elbowed his side. It hurt; it felt like she'd rammed her arm into a brick wall. But he did react to the strike, rearing back. Taking advantage of his surprise, she reached behind herself and grabbed his head with both hands, twisting.

His face came into view; his lone eye's iris had become fully red and his mouth was open; his entire face was contorted with lust. In contrast to his former expression, it was as if his humanity was burning away this time, leaving behind something primal and hard-edged. She even thought she glimpsed an elongated fang among his exposed teeth as he snarled at her.

But it's still Auron. I won't let his fears become reality.

Pushing aside her judgement she pulled him down and sealed her mouth over his. He thrashed against her, drawing blood with those razor-sharp teeth, but calmed down when she refused to let go. She made sure to linger, laving her tongue over his lips to soothe the tiny cuts he'd left on both of them before parting.

When she looked at him again, his features had returned to the man she knew, filled with exhaustion and regret. He slid away helped her lie back against him, gently cradling her limp body against his chest.

"You…" he managed to gasp, blinking the sweat out from his reddened eye. "You're not angry?"

She let out a soft, tired laugh, collapsing against him. This was the first time during their lovemaking that he'd asked about her feelings. She read it in his face; he was feeling guilty. Guilty that he'd lost control and ended up chasing his own pleasure, regardless of her wishes. He thought he'd hurt her.

Well, that wouldn't do.

"I told you, I wanted this." She raised her hand slowly, still not quite able to move her legs from under her, and caressed his scarred cheek. "Nobody makes me do anything I don't want. Not anymore." She smiled at him. "Not even you. So wipe that hangdog expression off your face already. You didn't hurt me. I liked it."

He buried his face into her neck, shaking. "I knew this would happen. I warned you. This won't work, Rikku. We won't work." His voice was thick with shame.

She sighed, continuing to let her fingers play through the whitened streak of hair at his temple. "I don't care if you think it's better for me to be mature and find a replacement for you. Go on thinking that if you want. But don't force that on me. I choose you. I choose whatever this is. Us, together. It can't be a bad thing if we both love each other and want it, right?"

The fire-ants crawling up and down her legs told her feeling was returning to them, so she struggled against him and sat up, twisting her torso to face him fully and make him look at her. "Yes, it felt good, but being with you like this is about more than just feeling your body." Her fingers found his own and laced through them. She brought her other hand up and traced down the scar on his face again. "I want us to spend the rest of our lives together. Whether that means forever, or just for today. No more regrets, okay? So stop trying to turn our feelings into something that hurts you. I won't let you become that kind of a person."

Auron reached out, still shivering, and pulled her to him. She turned and planted a soft kiss on his cheek and he melted against her, sobbing. She held him close, letting him find a different sort of release in her arms; one that had been far too long in the making.

He finally exhausted himself, separating from her; he hadn't gotten any younger, but at least his features remained fully human. He still trembled in her grasp, as though he might shatter if she let go of him.

"Shh. It'll be fine. We'll figure this out together. But… I'll always be here for you. You won't have to wait alone anymore. And you won't have to die alone anymore, either." She caught his eye. "Leave the Farplane and come back with me. Choose to live this time. Just like you commanded me to do, you hypocrite." She smiled to soften the blow, keeping her voice gentle and soothing.

"I want to," he admitted, his arms tightening around hers. "But how long will I last before I succumb to my own desires and turn into a fiend? You brought me back this time."

"I'll bring you back every time," she declared, digging her fingers into his skin. "But not all Unsent turn into fiends, you know. You managed it during Yuna's pilgrimage. You stayed human for over a decade."

"I had a goal. Something to focus on."

Smirking, Rikku leaned back against him and silently sent Jecht her thanks. "Well, you still do. I mean, the sex was great, but I actually came here to ask for your help with something, too."

"Oh?" His confidence was returning, now that she was throwing him back into familiar waters. "Does it have to do with your family? I know Cid's been involved in a few issues." His face morphed into annoyance. "That man has always been a troublemaker."

Rikku giggled. "Runs in the family, I think."

"Yes, well, at least your type of trouble doesn't bring the Al Bhed to the brink of a civil war." He sighed. "So what do you need me to do?"

"Not get involved in Al Bhed politics," she said, reaching for her clothes and starting to dress. She paused when he noticed he wasn't joining her, instead watching her movements distractedly. Yep. That was definitely his eye on her boobs. "Hey! Spira to Auron! Are you even listening?" She made sure to wave enthusiastically, if just to ensure that he wasn't.

"Hmm? Yes. No politics. Good," he grunted, capitulating and donning his own clothes much more reluctantly. "Then what else is it?"

"I need you to help me find a puppy for Jecht!"

The pants dropped out of his hands as he stared at her in disbelief.

A/N: "Vilg" = "Fuck"