A/N:
This is a similar author's note like I added in the last chapter.
The character's in this story don't have totally canon personalities. Just as we has seen in the last chapter, mainly with Alice's behavior and what Edward likes to read. I understand the character's not appearing canon all the time might confuse some people, since the first 5 chapters of this fic (that were written in 2021) were closer to canon than in recent chapters. Guess what? That's okay. It's how I want to write them now.
Please remember that Anthony is NOT a full human baby. He is a hybrid and crying does not make him tired like it would for a human baby.
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The cool wind hit my face and blew through my hair as I ran. It was early morning and I was out in the forest. I wasn't out for a hunt, just a run. A much needed run.
The first dull rays of dawn -that a human would not be able to see- were peeking through the sky, and birds were waking up, starting to sing their morning songs. But none of that mattered to me as my feet carried me deeper into the forest. Picking up speed, I briefly wondered how far I'd go. I had no particular destination in mind, nowhere I needed to be until it was time to pick Bella up. However, that wasn't for another four hours. So I sprinted past the trees and bushes, trying to think about nothing. Running was therapeutic for me. It helped to clear my mind.
I had a long night and my thoughts were not exactly coherent. My mind was craving sleep to reset itself, but that was impossible. Sleep had not been part of my lifestyle in 106 years. Unfortunately, sleep was hardly a part of my son's life; he barely even napped long enough for me to finish a paper that was due on Monday for History. His nap was maybe 20 minutes long and he had a not so happy dream that woke him up. Which made him extremely moody. It also didn't help that switching the liquid he drank, from baby formula and store bought cows' blood to rabbits' blood made his stomach upset, and that made him upset. Not to mention he had three exploding diapers where it got all over…everything on my bed. He also peed on me everytime I changed him! Getting pissed on caused me to shout a few choice words that had him laughing.
Caring for a newborn baby was definitely not easy. I had no idea how Bella was able to do it alone. Hell! I wasn't even able to care for Anthony for one night, not without having a constant panic attack, triggered by his crying and pooping episodes. After 10 minutes of him wailing nonstop, I picked him up and went to my parents' room. They had been relaxing and trying to let me get the hang of being a father all on my own. In other words, they had been concentrating on a movie and tuning out my son's loud sobbing.
That part of the night played out in my mind like a movie on a screen as I came upon a river. A sad movie where I was not succeeding in the one task Bella gave me. Pushing the thoughts of failure out of my mind, I leaped over the water landing gracefully on the other side. Having no need for a break, my feet carried me forward at full speed. As I ducked under a branch the reason why I was out here alone started nagging at me. It clawed at the edge of my brain and threatened to drive me insane. As much as I tried not to think about it, I couldn't deny it. When I took Anthony to my parents' room, I was seconds away from a nervous breakdown, all because I didn't know how to quieten him down. Taking care of him wasn't going as well as I had planned. Not at all. I guess that had been easy to see how my hair was in tatters from raking my hands through it several times in a roll. Before I had been able to utter a word, my parents got up from their bed and came over to us. They saw how destress their grandson was, and how distraught I was. Immediately, my mother took my son from me and walked out of the room. She was going to soothe him while my father talked me down from my hysteria.
Not breaking my stride, Carlisle's words echoed in my mind. Son, I can see you're struggling with being a new dad. That is to be expected. My door is always open if you need to talk.
Running as fast as I could, a sigh escaped my lips. As comforting as my father's words were, I couldn't deny I was a coward. I was basically running from my baby son. Well, not exactly. I would never run away from him. Nevertheless, I was out here because a crying baby was difficult for me to handle. My father had encouraged me to take a break; even when I admitted needing one made me feel incompetent. He shook his head and went down memory lane, retelling how he needed breaks with me in my newborn vampire days. He went into a small speech about how it was perfectly fine for me to take a breather every now and then, or something in that nature. I'm sure what he said was great, though I had been too overwhelmed to fully listen.
Not long after the talk with my father, he and I stepped outside. The cool autumn air surrounded me, and I was done. I knew I wanted to, no, I needed to go for a run. My father encouraged it, of course. He reassured me that Anthony was in good hands. I knew that, of course. My mother already loved Anthony and she had a knack for taking care of babies.
So here I was, dashing through the forest, all because I wasn't sure how to care for my own son. I briefly shook my head. Would I ever be able to quieten Anthony down when he cried? Did he even like me? After the night we shared, I didn't think so. Half of the time he screamed when I was near him as thoughts of his mother danced in his mind. How long would he be in my care? Bella had told me just a night or two, though my family acted like they expected him to be without Bella for a while longer. That put me on edge, causing me to feel something wasn't right there. But what could it be?
Before I was able to provide any answers for myself, my phone vibrated. It was in the front pocket of my jeans. Feeling the vibration I knew I had received a text message. Wondering who was texting me, I slowed to a jog. I received another text as I came upon a boulder and took a seat. My phone vibrated a third time as I pulled it from my pocket. Unlocking the screen and seeing my mother was the one who had sent me three texts, anxiety coursed through me. Why was she texting? Was something wrong with Anthony? Did I need to turn back and go home? Those were the thoughts that immediately came to the forefront of my mind before I read the texts.
Opening the messages from my mother was nerve-wracking. Mostly because I was fearing the worst; I didn't know what to expect. However, my nerves calmed as I began to read her text.
Enjoying your run? :)
That was my mom's first text. I rolled my eyes at her use of emojis. Why were those smiley yellow faces so popular?
I scrolled down to read the next text. My plan was to read them all before I replied.
Just wanted to let you know, your baby boy is finally sleeping. He's such an angel.
There was a picture to follow. Esme had taken a selfie of herself sitting in a rocking chair with Anthony snuggled on her chest swaddled in a baby blanket. He was fast asleep, and she was right, he did look like an angel. I was grateful for my mother. She certainly had a way with him. Though there was one thing about the picture that was peculiar.
I started typing…
Thank you, mom. I was beginning to think he wouldn't sleep more than a few minutes. But why are you wearing Bella hoodie?
That was the peculiar thing I saw in the picture. My mother was actually wearing Bella's pink hoodie. The very one that I borrowed from Bella and wore it home.
I sent the message and waited for a reply. A few seconds later, a response came in, followed by another.
My sweet boy, you're very welcome.
Read the first one. Then the second one said…
Human babies - just as as our kind do- have a heightened sense of smell. Hybrid babies are no different. Since the sweater had Bella's scent (and yours) on it, I put it on. I was hoping once he inhaled her familiar scent it would calm him down. As you can see, it worked.
A small smile appeared on my face as my thumbs typed on the screen; I was telling her thank you again. I would never be able to express my gratitude enough. I really appreciated all of her help with Anthony. I was also telling her I would be home soon. Unfortunately, I didn't get to send my reply. Right when I was about to press send my phone rang and a picture of Bella's face overtook my screen.
As I accepted the call, the texting conversation with my mother was in the back of my mind.
"Hello, Bella?" I spoke into the receiver, wondering why she was calling me before the sun was fully up. I wasn't supposed to pick her up until 9am, I assumed she'd be sleeping in since Anthony was at my house.
There was no answer. Just a sniffle and a shaky breath.
"Bella?" I asked, sitting straight up. Every cell in my body was on high alert.
Her sniffle and shaky breath became a full on cry. I was on my feet at once.
"Bella, is everything okay?!" I demanded.
"N-n-no." Bella finally answered.
"What's wrong?" I wanted to know.
She didn't answer, only sobbed.
"Bella?" Her name rolled off my tongue in the form of an anxious question.
There was no response. She only sniffled and sobbed. She wasn't giving me any information as to what had her so upset. However, it was the background noise that left me with more questions and worries to last a lifetime. There was the unmistakable sound of tires on asphalt. The tires passed quickly, I could tell. Then there was the sound of wind before a brief silence. Then she started sobbing uncontrollably.
All the background noises let me know she wasn't in the shelter like I assumed. She was somewhere outside. The question was where, and more importantly, what was going on?
"Bella, are you there?" I half shouted.
"I, I'm here." She stuttered.
"Where are you?" I blurted out.
There was no answer, just heavy breathing. I asked her again, hoping for a response.
"Is Anthony sleeping? How was his night? I hope I didn't wake him." She spoke in a rush without answering my question.
I sighed and quickly realized if I wanted to get anywhere I needed to reply to her questions. Then maybe she'd answer mine.
"I'm out in the woods." I spoke honestly without going into details about our son's first night with me. "Athony's not with me, he's home with my parents. He's fine, don't worry about him. He's sleeping peacefully."
"Good." she said in a low whisper.
I took a deep breath as my mouth went dry. "He missed you last night and can't wait to see you today. That goes for both of us, you know. I miss you too." Feeling something was off, I stressed the issue of missing her.
Bella didn't say a word. She only cried into the phone. It was the saddest sound I ever heard, not only did it pain me but also worried me.
"Bella, where are you? Are you hurt?" I asked, fearing the worst.
Again, no answer. Her breath came in waves as she cried into the phone.
Something wasn't right. I needed her to speak before I went crazy from not knowing what was going on.
"Sweetheart, what's the matter? Why are you crying? Where are you?" I asked, in a gentle tone and added, "Please tell me before I go insane."
My voice was calm, yet my brain was anything but. My imagination was spiraling in the depths of my mind to the worst case scenario. The sounds I heard over the phone told me, she wasn't in the shelter. Therefore, I was fearing she had been kidnapped during the night, snatched right out of her bed and somehow she was able to run away from her attacker. Then after running maybe she became lost and alone….on the highway maybe.
Bella's breath came through the phone in heavy pants. She was sobbing again and I was going out of my mind.
"Have you been kidnapped?" I asked frantically.
Her crying stopped then. I clutched the phone and waited for her to speak.
"What?" She wondered in a shaky tone. "No, Edward, I haven't been kidnapped. It's nothing like that. But I did something dumb and… and… and. Well, I'm afraid. Your going to hate me for it." She swallowed hard.
"Hate you?" The words slipped through my lips. They felt wrong and left a bad taste in my mouth.
"Yes." She sniffled. "You and Anthony -when he's older- will hate me. Probably your whole family, too."
"Why? That's absurd, Bella. I could never hate you." It was true, and I hoped she knew that. There wasn't a thing she could do or say to make me ever hate her. Even if she decided she didn't want to be with me one day, I would be sad, but I would never hate her.
Bella started weeping. Once again, she was sobbing uncontrollably and trying to talk at the same time. If she was trying to explain why she thought I would be angry at her, I couldn't tell. Her words blurred together as she broke down and I tried to listen closely. Nothing she was saying was clear.
"Love," I spoke in an even tone, trying to stay calm. "I can't understand you when your hysterically crying. Can you please take a deep breath and slowly tell me what's going on? Please? You have me so worried. I want to help you, but I'm not sure what's going on."
"I'm sorry. Edward, I'm so sorry!" Bella wailed into the receiver.
"Don't be." I said, wondering why she was apologizing when she needed help.
"I'm sorry." She said again.
"Will you please quit apologizing and tell me what's going on? Where are you?" I raked my left hand through my hair.
For a moment all I heard was Bella sobbing. Then came her shaky breath as I tried to soothe her, telling her- that I was always going to be there for her, no matter what. All she had to do was call me any time and I'd be by her side faster than she could say my name. By the time I was done reassuring her that I loved her more than anything else in the world, she seemed to be finished crying. She was sniffling and breathing hard, and I imagine her heart rate was elevated. Thankfully she was no longer crying. Maybe now she would be able to tell me what had her so upset and where she was.
"Can you please tell me where you are so I can come to you?" I asked her.
"Umm. Not exactly." Was her answer.
What? Well, that was not the answer I was expecting.
She was finally able to speak coherently. Though her words were still shaky and I could tell she was right on the verge of being hysterical again. Why on Earth could she not tell me where she was?
"What do you mean, "not exactly"?" I wondered, feeling perplexed.
"I mean, I don't know where I am." Bella admitted, sounding far away.
I let out out a deep breath. "I'm confused and worried out of my mind. Please tell me what's going on."
"I left the shelter. After getting into it with Kara I packed up my bags last night and just left after my last phone call with you and Anthony. I'm sorry. I was going to Forks. I turned around though. I couldn't leave Anthony. But, well, I'm not in Oregon anymore and my back tire on the passenger side blew out. I ran into a fence at an old abandoned upholstery shop, I think. Anyway, when my car crashed my phone fell to the floorboard, the screen is glitching. I can't use the GPS, the only thing it's allowing me to do is make calls and… and…" Her voice trailed off. She was crying again.
Her words didn't make sense. Not in the order she spoke them, at least. However, I paid no mind to what I couldn't explain since she needed my help. As she cried, sounding so scared I tried to form a plan to help her. It was difficult since she wasn't able to say where she was. All she knew she taken a wrong turn, more than once, and her surroundings were unfamiliar to her. Listening to her sob and trying to keep her calm, something popped into my mind; a secondhand memory from a teacher at my school. My art teacher was weird, she liked to follow her husband's whereabouts with an app she downloaded on her phone. I bet I could download the app and locate Bella.
"Are you injured?" I wondered as I held my phone in front of me. I tapped on the screen and went into the app store.
"No. I'm just shaken up. My tire popped like a balloon and I couldn't stop my car. I don't have a spare tire. Even if I did, I doubt that would help. My engine died." She quickly explained.
"I see." Was the only thing I could think of saying.
"Yeah, well, all that happened. My car is a wreck, I have a pounding headache, but I'm not hurt. I'm okay." She answered shakily.
"I'm glad you're not injured. It's understandable you're shaken up. It sounds like a lot happened in a short amount of time." I said, as I found the app I needed and pressed install.
"Edward… I'm sorry… I…I…" She trailed off in a sob.
"Love, it's okay. I'll be there as soon as I can." I assured her.
"I'm lost and I need you." Her words sounded like a plea. It also sounded like there was another meaning than her just being lost in the physical sense. There probably was though I wasn't trying to focus on that. She needed me and that's what I was thinking about.
"I'm here for you. I'll always be." I promised as my phone let me know the app had failed to installed. I tried again.
She and I stayed on the phone for a while. The whole time I was talking to her I was trying to download the app that would give me the appearance of being a creepy vampire stocker. Not wanting to come off as such, I told her what I was trying to do. She didn't say much about it. The only thing she said was that it was the most inconvenient time for her to be human; she needed to find a restroom soon, but she was nowhere near one. I told her I'd be there as soon as I could, and to keep her phone on and keep it close. She reassured me she would. Seconds after we disconnected there was a tickling at the edge of my brain; a very distant thought that did not belong to me.
Quickly, I began to realize someone was out here with me.