The Butterfly Effect

by TheMightyDonnaPaulsen

The butterfly effect involves the idea that small things can lead to big change. How much could change over the years if a Donna met Harvey five years earlier and they weren't working together? They might date, break up when life pulls them in different directions, leaving Donna to figure out how she is going to tell her ex she just found out she is pregnant. AU fic

7. Chapter 7

A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait. Life got busy and then I had to work through a crisis of confidence, but I still hope to be faster moving forward! Here is another ridiculously long chapter that I hope you will enjoy. Thanks so much again for the reviews, they mean a lot. FYI, there is a section that might be a little more M rated, but nothing too crazy I think. Thanks for reading!

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June 24, 2000 – Present Day

"You know, you didn't have to help me pack," Harvey announced, his eyes finding Donna across the room. "I don't really have that much shit and I am tossing out half of it anyway," he finished plainly, skirting around a thank you.

Donna raised an eyebrow in return, concealing her amusement. He was a terrible packer. Had he been left to his own devices, she knew he would have already been distracted by a baseball game, or even his own possessions. With her help, they were way ahead of schedule, and the boxes were labeled and grouped by room. Even without him admitting as much, she knew he was grateful that she was there. She was the queen of organization after all. Plus, the mundane tasks were far more enjoyable when they did them together.

She was right as always, in regard to his gratitude. Despite his words and his nonchalance, he did in fact appreciate that she hadn't let him talk her out of helping. Not just because packing sucked and the sooner it was over the better, but with his job starting shortly, the reality was that he would see her less. He wanted to spend every second he could with her until then. The same went for Addy, though while they boxed everything up, she was visiting her grandpa. Gordon had insisted, and it allowed them to be more efficient.

It was rare to spend time with Donna without their little rugrat. The last time was likely the 'not date' with Thomas that he had crashed, wanting to ensure the label was accurate. He wasn't counting on it happening again anytime soon. Since graduation, it had been hard to focus on anything but how things had been with Donna and how things would be with Addy, once he officially moved.

He didn't understand how two people could be his whole world until they entered his. Everything with his mom had taught him not to put much stock in family, but his girls had changed that. Reflecting on the past and his mother was something he actively avoided, but even the future, when it came to personal matters, wasn't something he typically dwelled on.

It might be considered a strength, especially to an employer. The way he could hyper fixate on a goal or an immediate issue, and always live in the present, enabled him to be dogged in all his pursuits. Of course, he could also ignore steps in the process or rules and regulation, if they weren't directly connected to him emerging victorious. Bosses appreciated those traits quite a bit less.

Even with his elite ability to tunnel his vision, his thoughts did still linger on Donna all too frequently.

He wasn't going to miss Harvard, not really. If anything, he missed New York and was eager to go back, to start the next chapter. The glaring exception was who he was leaving behind. Even though technically they had already been living in different cities, the change made everything loom larger, especially with the element of the unknown.

School had been predictable, and a routine was easy to maintain. These days, the small batch of anxiety that always seemed to be simmering on the back burner made it feel like he was headed to a different continent instead of state, however. The distance wasn't much greater, but the demands and expectations being placed, his own and those of others, magnified it all.

Before he had chosen his moving date, he almost had talked himself into staying longer. The bar exam was only offered twice a year, with July being one of those times. As tempted as he was to stay with her and Addy right up until he had to take it, he knew he needed to get settled in his new apartment and dedicate himself to preparing. It was just the first example of prioritizing his career over time with his kid. He knew more would follow, though he tried to rationalize it as just a part of being a man and a father.

The plan was for him to start at the DA's office right after he took the test. Many firms waited to hire until after results for the exam were released, but those that wanted to dip into the talent pool first would sometimes give offers that were contingent on the prospective lawyer passing the bar within a specified length of time. When it came to governmental agencies or offices, many didn't have the budget to risk an employee failing to get licensed, and opted for the patient route.

If Cameron Dennis hadn't made an exception for Harvey, after Jessica had vouched for him, he could be waiting until October or November to start. With the sheer number of people sitting for the exam, and the additional requirements like verifying character and fitness, the New York State Bar was not exactly quick to break the news.

There were no complaints from Harvey about the timeline from a career perspective. Being at work might change that, as he could only function as a glorified law clerk or intern until he was actually admitted, but the earlier his clock started, the sooner he would be working with Jessica and making real money.

It wasn't that money motivated him as a lawyer, but having a kid made him think about those things more. He wanted her to live in the safest neighborhoods and have access to the best schools. He wanted to be able to spoil her just a little bit, and Donna too, although she would make plenty of money herself. It wouldn't stop him from buying her gifts, especially ones that he would encourage her to choose for herself. There were some personal limitations that he could acknowledge, and picking decent gifts for others was at the top of the list.

"Who better than me to help you decide which half?" she asked rhetorically, responding to his unspoken appreciation. "And I think you are downplaying the way your suit and record collection has multiplied over the last couple of years. How you even paid for it after rent and the money you send for Addy…" she trailed off as she took in the smug look that materialized on his face.

Instantly, she knew exactly how he had come into the bonus funds. "Wait, don't say it. I don't think I want to hear about the many poker games you have pulled all-nighters for. You really don't sleep enough as is," she finished, shaking her head disapprovingly.

"There may or may not have been some mornings in which mail got sent to the wrong building, but hey," he shrugged, "some Harvard douche waiting an extra day to get the cookies mommy dearest baked for him wasn't going to cost me any additional sleep." He grinned at her while labeling the box he had just finished filling.

"Some might say that you're a Harvard douche," she teased while pointing at him.

"You better not be one of those 'some," he replied, narrowing his eyes. "And let's not pretend that Yalies aren't cut from the same cloth." He tilted his head in that way that she loved while smirking in a way that she hated, purely because of the upper hand it always gave him.

It was so freaking sexy, it did things to her, and he knew it. It was the same smirk he would use when she was pissed at him, well aware that she could never stay mad for too long when he looked that good. It wasn't fighting fair.

After he finished bubble wrapping the next plate he was holding, at her insistence, he was perfectly okay with throwing his dishes in a box and trying his luck, he approached her.

She was busy sorting his clothing into keep and discard piles, using the back of the couch to stack them. Despite his studio apartment being small, she chose to move his wardrobe closer to the kitchen to better facilitate conversation while they worked. As talented of an actress as she was, she wouldn't have been able to fool anyone into believing that the fact that he was shirtless, only wearing a pair of gym shorts, didn't factor into her proximity as well.

He had blamed the heat for his state of undress, not that she would have asked for a reason. There really was no point in mentioning that it had been a rather pleasant day, either. When they were dating, he had never needed excuses, but she would let him have them now, if it meant he continued dressing like it was hotter.

She was talking as he walked over, but it didn't stop her from not so subtly letting her eyes explore the advancing view. "Let's not pretend that I am cut from the same cloth as anyone," she followed. "Well, maybe Madonna or Julia Roberts, but-," she crowed, until he interrupted.

By the time he had reached her, which really didn't take much time at all, he couldn't remember why he had even walked over. Old habits, likely, but when they were together, he would have grabbed her hips to pull her in. She would have tipped her head up, meeting his lips, and got them both lost in each other. Instead, he flipped through the clothing she had deemed unworthy of holding onto, making sure she didn't unknowingly include any favorites.

"Would that be Erin Brockovich Julia Roberts or Pretty Woman, because those heels you were wearing when we went to dinner last night…" he trailed off.

They had gone out to eat after leaving Addy with Gordon. It had felt an awful lot like a date, not that either of them would admit it. The way he had opened doors for her and kept his hand grazing the small of her back were actions that he could write off as being innocent. The outfit she had chosen to wear for him, the stolen looks and additional touches, picking off each other's plates, it all made it harder to ignore the shift from their normal outings.

The way she had been staring at him just before, or his abs more accurately, was too blatant to miss. It gave him the encouragement, or the courage, needed to slide in directly behind her. Reaching his arms around her sides, he grasped the button up she was holding in the air and inspecting. She was going to toss it, but he was going to keep it, just to justify the way he pressed his chest into her back. His groin was flush against her ass as well, but it just to save the shirt, of course.

She turned her head enough to catch as much of him as she could in her peripheral vision. The shoulder she chose to look over was the same one that his head was hovering above. It would have been so easy to twist a little further, lean up just a little more, and remind herself how talented his tongue was. Instead, she again raised an eyebrow and responded to his comment about her footwear as he eventually forced himself to step back.

"First of all, you bought me that pair, and second, I am somehow just now realizing that you've been playing a lot more poker than I had guessed," she responded, pointing her finger at the first part before picking up another shirt to decide on. There was a large hole in the armpit, it was time for it to go.

"It's kind of hard to pass up the opportunity to keep winning," he countered with a shrug. Not wanting to push the envelope too much, he retreated back to the kitchen to start on the coffee mugs.

"Just make sure you don't pull too many all-nighters when you start work. The stakes are a little higher than a Harvard douche not getting his cookies," she lectured lightly.

"It's not like I am going to send an innocent man to prison because I keep raking in chips past my bedtime." He rolled his eyes. A package here or there was one thing, he wouldn't let himself make real mistakes.

"I'm just saying. Besides, after with everything with Marcus… I know you're a much better player, I just never want to see you get mixed up with the kind of people he did," she responded quietly, looking away slightly when she referenced his brother.

He stared at her a beat before responding, wanting to make sure his sentiment sunk in, but needing to keep the leftover emotions from Viktor approaching them at bay. "You know I would never put you and Addy at risk. I'm still so pissed at him for that."

"I know. I am not happy about it yet either, but he is trying Harvey. I think it helps that he met a girl he's crushing on."

Donna loved Marcus by virtue of him being Harvey's brother, but she was ready to see him grow up. Personal accountability wasn't his strong point, but he did have some sweet qualities as well. With things being a little stiff between him and Harvey, Marcus had been keeping in touch with her more lately. The news that he was starting to date a woman gave Donna some hope he might accelerate the maturation process.

"Marcus met a girl? Marcus stopped playing video games long enough to leave the house?" Harvey asked surprised, though he played it up a bit.

His brother had always been more prone to relationships than Harvey growing up, but after high school, he hadn't really been putting himself out there. When he was going through cancer treatments, dating certainly wasn't on his mind.

"Harvey, I told you that he started taking business classes. That's where he met Katie. Not in the same class, but at the community college." Donna explained, shaking her head a little at Harvey not remembering.

"Why does he tell you way more than he ever does me?" Harvey whined, then decided it was time for a break and grabbed a couple of cold beers from the fridge.

"Because I answer the phone? I even call him myself sometimes. Maybe you should try it," she sassed.

Donna noticed Harvey grabbing the bottles and took a seat on the couch. She wasn't much of a beer drinker, but every now and then it hit the spot.

"I answer the phone when you call. And I call for Addy almost every night," he responded in protest, sitting down next to her and passing her drink over.

"You answer the phone about 70% of the time when I call, but for you that is impressive. Just… I know things are going to get busier for you, but please keep up with your calls for her," she pleaded softly, reading his face as she did.

"Donna, you know it's different than with Marcus," he stated firmly after swallowing a refreshing gulp.

"I do. I just know how your mind works and how one-tracked it can get. But, I also know you're a good father, Harvey, and a good man. Even when you forget it." She nudged him just as gently as she delivered her words.

The anxiety that had been simmering was boiling over now. It was overwhelming, the feeling that he had to be around her longer, to keep her from going home. The change inspiring the dread would only be for a year, the hardest part anyway. Figuring out how to balance his career and fatherhood wasn't something short term, but the distance was at least. As long as Donna didn't change her mind, they would be in the same city after she graduated, which helped to ease his worry.

They sat in silence until they finished their beers. With a sigh, she got up first to resume their efforts.

He watched her from the couch until he was ready to continue. Before making his way to the bathroom to decide what he was boxing or tossing from there, he walked over to where she was packing his records. The care in which she was handling them, it made him pause for a moment. She was perfect, and he was so damned stupid for letting her go. He wasn't going to make that mistake today when all he wanted to do was prolong their time together.

"Hey, what do you say we let Marcus off the hook tomorrow and you come with me instead?" he suggested from behind her.

"Do you think we can manage the heavy stuff just the two of us?" she asked without turning, still focused on his collection.

With how things had been between brothers, she should probably encourage him to stick to the plan. It would be good for him to spend some time with Marcus, but with what was coming, she could admit she wanted the time for herself.

"And here I thought you've noticed how much time I've been putting in the gym lately. With the way you've been staring at me all day and all," he teased as an answer. Had she currently been looking at him, she would have seen the way he flexed as he spoke.

"Oh please, I have not," she retorted, but her blush gave her away. He caught it, despite his view being restricted to the back of her neck.

With how slow he unfurled it, his resulting smirk was almost villainous. Turning towards him to agree to the amended plan, she saw the tail end and her cheeks further reddened.

She really was tempting fate by agreeing to another night spent just the two of them. It would help if he would at least throw on a shirt before they shared a bed again. With this much skin, she might not stand a chance.

Ever since that first night, when Veronica had shown up out of the blue and they had almost crossed over to the point of no return, she had been having to work overtime to keep her resistances up. At this point it was close to pointless, but she would force herself to stick to the plan. There was no need to complicate the change that was already coming when there was a safer path with patience.

After that, after graduation… they'd be around each other enough to go all in.

September 21, 2000 – Present Day

The adjustment hadn't been the easiest so far. Right after the move it had been the exam, after taking the test it was getting used to his new schedule and role. Originally, he had naively believed that having to wait for the results would give him somewhat of a grace period. He thought, until he was actually a sworn member of the bar, that there wouldn't be as much work to do. They could get used to the new routine, and ease into the more challenging parts.

What it ended up meaning was that he was more tied to others. It was their schedules he had to abide by, their deadlines and demands. He wasn't prepared for how often he would be so swept up in other attorneys' work that he would forget to call before Addy had long since fallen asleep. How many times he had already called Donna to tell her that next weekend might work better exceeded what he had anticipated. The amount of resulting guilt wasn't any different, he hadn't thought he would let them down so much.

This weekend was just more of the same.

The disappointment he always heard in Donna's voice, even though she always tried to hide it, was killing him. He was preparing himself to hear it again. Being a lawyer, or on the verge of being one, however, was electrifying. He could taste blood already, and he was addicted. The intensity was only going to increase once they let him off the leash. This was his element. This was what he was built for, and he was only just beginning.

Maybe he could have been better about bringing work there with him. He had tried before, and ended up too busy to spend real time with Addy. It made him feel like shit, and on top of it he missed an important email. What he was working on now, he knew he had to stay for.

"You're not coming this weekend," Donna concluded after interpreting the slight hesitation in his voice.

She held back again, not wanting to make a bigger deal out of something she knew was hard for him too. From the beginning, there was nothing traditional about the way they were raising Addy. With law school, she never would have let Harvey give it up to be a dad. Perhaps she should have moved to him, but she was happy now that she was becoming an attorney too.

It wasn't what she had always wanted to do, obviously that was acting, but plans had a way of failing. She had never been one for quitting, just adjusting, and the appeal of being a lawyer was only increasing.

When she envisioned herself cross examining a witness or shredding a defendant on the stand, she saw a woman who exuded strength. She saw a woman who could command respect, who would lead by example, and would be someone her daughter could look up to. It would come without the struggle or instability that children shouldn't have to face, if parents had the opportunity to avoid it.

When she pictured it, her mind always did go back to Addy. She wanted to demonstrate the beliefs she held onto tightly, like that gender was irrelevant when it came to ability. It wasn't always engrained in women that every door was open, that every career path was an option, but she would show her daughter.

Sometimes she wondered if she would still be pursuing acting if they had stayed together. Maybe she would have gone to Cambridge with him after some thought, and taken whatever work she could until they returned to New York. Sometimes she also wondered if that was still what she would have even preferred, or if the legal world was becoming more of hers.

It wasn't just about providing an example for their daughter. The legal field was opening doors that she hadn't considered. Helping people was a defining part of who she was, but not something she thought to seek in a career. She could do that with the law, however. No matter where she ended up, which was hopefully working with Harvey, she would ensure that pro bono cases were an option.

She could see now why Harvey was so obsessed with winning. The law was powerful and addicting. Donna would do whatever it took to succeed, but with one glaring exception. She was unwilling to put her career over parenthood. That didn't mean she wouldn't ever miss soccer games or reading a bedtime story. She wasn't delusional enough to think there wouldn't be times she had to prioritize a case or that a client emergency would never force her to postpone a promise made to Addy. Even still, she was hell-bent on never letting her profession consume her.

It was beginning to worry her that Harvey might be able to. When he was there, she couldn't fathom a better father for their girl. To the rest of the world, he could present as a man cut from ice, or one with all his feelings and emotions locked inside an impenetrable fortress. As a dad, his walls were made of jello.

Harvey sighed before replying. She was kind and accepting as always, but he was bristling slightly at his own failures and starting to feel defensive.

"You know I would much rather watch the latest adventures of Chucky Pickles or that mouse guy with the glasses with you and Addy, but when I got back from lunch, I discovered a stack of files up to my fucking eyeballs."

He had been powering through everything, eager to see his daughter, but the next thing he knew Douchebag Prosecutor Number One needed help preparing arguments against a motion to suppress, while Douchebag Prosecutor Number Four needed him to research case law around a fourth amendment issue. The angry bald ADA ordered him to listen to the jail phone calls he had subpoenaed, while the lawyer with the large mole had asked him to meet up with her over the weekend for trial prep.

"For the record, it's Tommy Pickles and Arthur is an aardvark, but I do understand, Harvey. Work is crazy for you right now, I just wish it wouldn't spill over onto the weekends so often. Addy is…," she started, before changing her mind and her words. "Addy really misses her daddy."

Their baby had been fully embracing her terrible twos as of late. She was a bright girl who hated the word 'no' unless it was coming from her own mouth, but the inconsistency with Harvey was really feeding into it. Crying for her father was constant, and while her sense of time wasn't evolved enough to know exactly when to expect him to come, she was well aware she was seeing him less. Both Donna and Clara were dealing with extra tantrums and meltdowns, but she hadn't told Harvey yet. It would only make things harder for him, so, she would grit her way though it and send her mom on one hell of a vacation, once she started making the big bucks.

"I'm sorry, Donna, I miss her too," he said morosely, gripping his office phone tightly. The DA's office could pay for the long distance instead of him using his minutes. "Hopefully when I have more control of my schedule things will get better. Right now, I am just doing grunt work and the assholes here have no problem dumping everything on my lap."

"Just remember that in the future when you're the one giving work to paralegals or your secretary," she joked, hoping it would help her hide what she was feeling.

"Bullshit, Donna! I am going to dish it out like crazy. That way I can spend more time with you and Addy," he said with a laugh. They might be just messing around, but he was serious about improving. "Hey, I better go, but I'll make it there next weekend. I promise," he said while cracking open another file.

"I'll see you then, Harvey. And I'll tell Addy you love her." She was already bracing for more tears.

"Thanks, Donna," he responded, but he was distracted by an idea that was starting to formulate. "Talk to you later, I love you," he added absentmindedly before hanging up.

He didn't even process the last part of what he said until he was halfway through the fifth cup of coffee he had poured himself for the day. Maybe it wasn't a bad thing for him to accidentally slip it in until he was sure she was ready for him to fully say it.

Either way, he meant it.

October 25, 2000 – Present Day

"Harvey, there you are," Cameron Dennis greeted as his potential protégé strutted into his office. "Sit down, I want to talk."

"You heard I finally got my bar results last week and you want to pour me a glass of that Johnny Walker Blue Label to celebrate?" Harvey provided, while easing into the chair and eyeballing the drink cart. His signature grin was present as always.

"You're half right there, junior. And just so you know, I am expecting a much better record out of you than that." He glanced over at his cart as well, briefly debating whether toasting his passing was an acceptable reason to indulge before the morning had transitioned.

He continued talking after deciding that starting with a drink this early was a slippery slope.

"I did hear you passed by the way. Hell, I even pulled some strings to get your character and fitness interview bumped up so you can hurry up and get admitted," Cameron shared, never one to keep quiet about a favor. "I am tired of watching one of my best guys acting like some damn paralegal or something. It's time to get rockin' and rollin'."

"A few months in and I am already one of your best guys. Best damn paralegal you've ever seen, too," Harvey boasted, clasping his hands behind his head and slouching back.

"My office is barely big enough for my ego, boy. Let's tone it down a notch." Cameron leaned back in his chair, unintentionally mirroring Harvey. He gestured downward with his hand at the last part.

Harvey shrugged in response. "Sooo, no Johnny Walker then?"

"When you win your first trial, that's when we will celebrate. I'm not wasting my good scotch on you making it to the starting line." With the same hand that he had raised before, he wagged his index finger.

"I thought your philosophy was to avoid trial," Harvey responded genuinely, knowing that Cameron swore by plea deals.

"How about that, you do listen on occasion," he jabbed.

When he caught himself looking at the scotch again, he stood up to distract himself with his putting green. His first wife had never appreciated his day drinking and he preferred not to find out with his current one.

"You'll soon understand what I mean when I say that any lawyer worth his salt can handle business before going to court," Cameron continued. "The process is far too long with too many hoops and hurdles, and you don't want to leave justice to juries anyway. Half of them are filled with knuckle draggers and chicks, either too stupid or too emotional to count on. Never let a neanderthal decide your case if you can avoid it."

He paused as a moved a ball with his club to where he wanted to putt from. "But that's not why I called you in here," he informed, shortly after.

"You know, if you missed seeing me that much, I could probably get you a framed picture or something. I'd be willing to sign it too," Harvey joked, and shifted his chair to better face his boss while he practiced his short game.

"I'm starting to rethink that scotch" Cameron responded with an eyeroll. "At least if your mouth was full, you couldn't talk as much of your shit. And before you get started again, let me get this out. I see something in you, Son. I'm not just doing Jessica a favor. I wanted to bring you here because you remind me of myself, though I will deny that if you repeat it."

"I remind you of what you always wished you could be," he poked at him playfully. "Taller, better looking…" The smug look was back.

"And more obnoxious. But the thing is, there's one other difference. You could be me one day, Harvey, you could have the keys to the kingdom. But you have to put in the work, you have to commit," he explained, breaking again to line up the ball with the cup and sink it in.

"I know you've got that fight in you just like me, but there is a reason I never chose to have kids. They're beyond needy, boy. They have orchestra concerts, parent teacher conferences, and stay home from school sick or whatever."

Satisfied, he put away his putter and sat back down in his office chair. He laced his fingers together in front of him, leaning closer to Harvey. "Now, you're not the only stiff around here with a kid or two, but there are two types of guys here that have them. There are the jerks who never miss a school play and never make it past prosecuting DUIs and shoplifting. And then the others, well, they aren't afraid to tell their wives they're coming home late or tell them to record little Jenny's ballet recital."

"I've come in more weekends than not, and I've just been assisting on cases so far. You know what kind of lawyer I'll be," Harvey defended, clearly taken back. He'd been breaking his so far and expected Cameron to notice.

His voice was strained, but he remained in control. The maturing adult in him bit back the rest of his comment, inspired by fatherhood and by Donna. He should probably give her credit for the lessons in restraint.

It was crazy to think it. A few years back he would have had himself committed for even entertaining the notion, but he loved being a father. Cameron Dennis wasn't wrong that it would make things more challenging, and that he had progress to make on that front, but his boss was wrong about the worth behind it.

Harvey didn't even want to be Cameron any more than Lebron should want to be Jordan or Kobe. He would be his own man, and the best lawyer, or at least closer, in the city. The mentorship was appreciated, he did look up to him, but he wouldn't take all his words as gospel. People were flawed, and that applied to his boss unquestionably. He was wrong about him; Harvey could be the best without neglecting his family.

He would do both, excel at both. He had to.

"Harvey, I'm not calling you lazy or some other crap. I know everything that goes on in this building, so I know you've skipped weekends going to visit your kid. What I am telling you now is that you're just getting started. If you're going to follow in my footsteps you're going to have to be prepared to miss even more," he warned almost condescendingly. "This isn't a career where your day ends when the bank closes."

"I'll be able to balance both and handle all my cases. They're moving here next year so it's not going to be a problem much longer," Harvey argued.

Cameron was speaking Harvey's fears out loud, but those were meant for only him and his mind. Coming from someone else, it sounded like doubt. Doubt was motivation.

He would show him.

"That's what I am saying, kid. Your daughter could move across the street and there are still going to be times that you won't be available. If you want to make it to the top that is. Leave all the mommy shit for moms, I need your head in the game here."

"The other lawyers around here might need to keep their heads in the game, but mine lives inside my opponent's. Playing the man is so much more effective than playing the game," Harvey delivered, while tapping his temple. "Aren't you the one who is supposed to be teaching me stuff?" he threw in for good measure.

"I would be if you had the sense to listen. Hear me on this. If you're going to be my guy, just make sure your girl knows her role when you move your little instant family here."

He glanced at his scotch again and accepted he was going to give in. It's not like he was really thinking about being a model husband when he had a standing reservation and a personal table for one at his favorite restaurant. Might as well pour one for Harvey too.

"Your mindset might be stuck in the 1970's along with your choice of mustache, but you do know that women aren't having to walk the picket line to have a real job anymore, right, boss? Donna's going to be a lawyer too and she's a bad ass."

Harvey was far from a champion for women's rights, but he'd always fight for Donna. He'd been listening to her too, and he was starting to see the issues she spoke on. Being the father of a little girl certainly helped lend perspective.

"Huh, I would have thought you preferred a woman who lets her tits do the talking, not one who wants to do a man's job," Cameron uttered with a contemplative frown, standing next to the drink cart.

Harvey accepted the drink Cameron had moved to hand him, almost amused by the amount of wrong in his assumption. He's had those nights at the bar when his eyes remained at chest level, but that wasn't his preference. With any woman that he's wanted to spend more than a few hours getting know, he'd always been drawn to strength and intelligence. Donna had both in spades and then some.

"I would love to see you call it that to Jessica's face," Harvey challenged.

His next boss wasn't any different than the mother of his child, though Jessica's strength could come with a coldness, and Donna was all warmth.

"Jessica's not a typical broad, to be fair. I respect the woman. Hell, if she had a dick, it would probably be bigger than both of ours," he crudely joked, savoring the smooth burn of his first sip of the day.

"Clearly, you've never been in a locker room with me," Harvey said, smirking and adding an eyebrow waggle.

"That's not changing anytime soon, either," Cameron responded, adding another eyeroll. "And speaking of Jessica, zero kids. I'm not even sure she knows what a personal life is, but she does know what it takes," he finished, staring at Harvey with a touch of superiority. It was as if he was daring him to argue his last point.

"You and Jessica might not have kids, but you know who does? Superman. No offense, but he's a little more my speed," Harvey said, patting himself on the back before chasing down his drink.

"Remind me again why Jessica puts up with you?" he said with a sigh.

"Because I am Superman, or did you miss that implication," Harvey continued, letting his arrogance lead. He dropped the playful nature, wanting to reassure with the next part. "Like I said, I'll be able to do both."

"I hope you're right, Harvey, because like I said, you could be me some day if your priorities are straight," he paused, and started flipping through a stack of files before pulling out the one he was looking for. "And I happen to have the first test for you. The Clifford Danner case. I want you to handle it."

The case was already on Harvey's radar, and he knew his boss was more invested in it than others. If this was meant to be a test, he hoped Cameron would actually let him run the show and not keep sticking his nose in it, or watching over his shoulder. These were the level of charges that his mentor always propped up when preaching the importance of taking criminals off the street. It was also an opportunity to start really making a name for himself as a top ADA in the county.

"Consider it handled," he stated with a firm nod.

Harvey had already mentally booked this Danner kid a one-way ticket to prison.

November 21, 2000 – Present Day

Clara wasn't sure exactly what Harvey had said, and she wasn't going to ask. Donna would share as much as she wanted to, which wasn't always something she was good at.

When she was still just a little girl, Clara could already tell that Donna had a strong desire to make sure those around her were happy. She had a sense about it well beyond her years, and just had this way of drawing people in and providing comfort. Clara had chalked it up to her youthful innocence at the time, but as she watched her baby grow, she realized it was deeper than that, it was something uniquely and inherently Donna.

The other part that she took away, took her longer to put together. Her daughter didn't just want to make others happy, she was willing to sacrifice herself, her own joy, in the process.

The first time she brought Harvey home, Jim may have been on edge, but Clara was excited. Donna's heart was huge, but it hadn't exactly extended to her love life. She had always been more focused on her acting career than dating, and as a mom, it hadn't bothered her. The head on her daughter's shoulders was a blessing, but she still hoped to eventually see her surrounded by the very same love she gave.

"He's not going to make it for Thanksgiving, but it's not his fault," Donna blurted, already sliding back into feeling protective.

The conversation, despite the intensity, wasn't enough to prevent Donna from being Donna. She knew her mom had heard her on the phone with Harvey and had come into the room to be a sympathetic presence. The words exchanged with him hadn't reached the level of a full-on fight, but she had lost control of her tone for once, and she knew her mom had caught that part too.

"I'd never suggest otherwise, sweetie," Clara responded softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She was careful not to jostle a napping Addy, though she might not have needed to be, since the phone call hadn't woken her.

"You're right, I guess I am just used to dad throwing in his two cents," she said with forced laugh, the type that still carried the heaviness of what she was feeling before. "I hate seeing how much it's gets to Addy, but I just have to remember that's only temporary."

"Why do I sense a 'but'?" Clara prompted gently.

Donna was momentarily distracted by her daughter burrowing into her, still asleep. She could look down at her sometimes and still not quite believe she made this beautiful baby with Harvey.

"It's just that, what if the distance is the only part that is temporary," she said eventually, returning her focus to her mother.

"You're worried about him always choosing the job," she stated, seeing now what was causing the apprehension Donna had been burying for a while.

"He was born to do this, and he's always going on about the big leagues. You don't make the big leagues without choosing work a lot."

Donna was outlining her greatest worry, but all Clara saw was a woman enamored. There was always this spark or glimmer in her eyes when she spoke about Harvey. She beamed with pride when she mentioned his career, and lit up even more when sharing a story about him with Addy.

"Honey, when Harvey has his mind on work, he gets this look on his face like he wants to conquer the world. So, I understand your concerns. But any other time, it's easy to see that you and Addy are his world," she told her, wanting it to really set in.

Love was a gift, but it didn't always come easy. It could require a vulnerability that neither Harvey nor Donna were great at allowing, but Clara was an optimist and a believer. She was also happy to be a cheerleader, or a meddler, if it came to that.

"It may sound like those two things are contradictions, and sometimes they might be, but he's new to this. He has to adjust and figure out how to recalibrate. I have all the faith in the world that he will, and so will you. You wouldn't have picked this career yourself if you didn't think you could balance it with parenthood," Clara finished, with a look that could only be described as motherly.

"You really know how to make things feel like they're going to be alright," she said, and reached over to squeeze her mom's hand with the one that wasn't slowly teasing through Addy's hair.

"Well, it's what mothers do. You'll be doing the same for Addy someday, although if it's involving drama with the father of her baby, hopefully it'll be after she's married and has finished school," she said with a wink.

"Mom!" Donna exclaimed with mock outrage, though she would prefer that order of operations for Addy too. Not that she wanted to imagine that, at least not for a couple more decades or so.

"I'm just teasing, dear. You know I wouldn't change a thing about how we got our little darling. That includes who her father is, because you look at him the same way he looks at you," she asserted, then held a hand up when Donna started sputtering. "Before you give me your latest excuse for not giving me a son yet, I want to talk to you about something important."

She took a second to formulate her words. "As you may have noticed, things haven't been great with your father lately. We've decided that it might be for the best to take a break for a while."

"A break or are you getting divorced?" Donna asked, attempting to have it come off neutrally.

"Not a divorce as of now, but a separation. I was thinking that since you and Harvey will both be working full time, you'll still need someone to look after Addy and I'm not going to trust my grandbaby with just anyone. I can do my bookkeeping from anywhere, so…" she trailed off, knowing that Donna had picked up her meaning.

"Are you serious, mom? I hate what that means for you and dad, but I can't begin to express how much that would mean for both me and Addy. Harvey too. I hope you're not really doing this just for us though," she finished contemplatively.

It was hard to digest the news and pinpoint how she was really feeling. Having her mother there with her would lift a tremendous weight off her shoulders. There wasn't anyone better to watch Addy and it was already what was familiar. She wouldn't have to fret as much about leaving her baby to go to work.

At the same time, she never wanted to hear that her parents' marriage was potentially ending. She loved them so much, together and individually, but could admit that she noticed the divide that had set in, and that it had only been expanding. In a perfect world, the move would be a reset and they would find their way back to each other eventually. She'd be able to keep on eye on her mom, make sure she wasn't overcome with loneliness or depression, but her dad was another story.

He had his flaws, but overall, he was a good man who had lost a little direction. There were several years that she had spent believing the relationship between her parents could never even splinter. Somewhere along the line her dad's business obsessions had made him lose himself, however, and left her mom to suffer. Maybe space would force him to reevaluate and rediscover the man her mom had fallen for.

"Things have been difficult for a long time now, sweetie. I will always love your father, but neither of us has been happy for a while. If we ever want to have a chance again, I think this is what is needed."

It was good to get it off her chest, though maybe she should have waited for Jim. They'd been fighting even more than usual, so at least Donna likely already had her suspicions.

"I've never had more conflicting feelings, but if you're sure, if this will help you be happy, then you'll only ever have my full support. And I'll continue to be grateful that you've always been there for Addy," she stated sincerely.

"I am sure, honey, and wouldn't want to be there any less for my little angel."

Clara was certain; it wasn't a conclusion that she had reached lightly. She didn't have all the details worked out, like whether she would live with Donna, or if Donna would live with Harvey.

They had plenty of time to work it out, however, and she knew her mind wasn't changing.

December 24, 2000 – Present Day

"Oh my god, Harvey, she'll love it," Donna informed him, and she meant it.

He must have bought the Barbie Ferrari at some point before their joint excursion, she figured, since they had been virtually inseparable during it. Any gift from Harvey quickly became a favorite for Addy. What was going to make it even more special, and what Donna would give Harvey the most credit for noticing, was that their daughter had picked up on her dad's love of hotrods and classic cars. There were already so many ways in which she wanted to be like her daddy and his appreciation for flashy vehicles was just the latest.

"Apparently, if our sweet girl is on the receiving end, you suddenly aren't a terrible gift giver," she joked from where she was seated on the floor. Her back was against the base of the couch, and she had her legs stretched out in front of her.

There were presents piled around the both of them, and tons of wrapping paper.

Vacation at the DA's office was based on seniority, but after one of the old timers cancelled his days off last minute, Harvey was able to swoop in and take his place, and a week off from work. Donna had even longer off from school, and she planned to stay there with Addy her whole break, even once he returned to his lawyering duties.

So far, they had been making the most of it. They'd already taken Addy to meet Santa, cut down and decorated a Christmas tree, gone to their first Knicks game as a family, and overdosed on holiday movies and hot chocolate with mini marshmallows. Donna, who would usually start Christmas shopping around the same time she would choose a Halloween costume, had saved all of it to do with Harvey. Purchasing his gift had been the one exception, not wanting to spoil the surprise.

"In my defense, she can't buy shit for herself yet and claps when she sees something she likes. It makes it a hell of a lot easier," he said, looking across the coffee table at her. His timing was great. When she reached over to grab a pen that had wandered, her shirt hung down low enough that he had a perfect view of her cleavage.

They had only just convinced Addy that the sooner she went to sleep the sooner Santa would come, giving them a chance to wrap her presents. It also gave them time to indulge in a little spiked eggnog and the cookies that they had baked earlier in the evening. After the look he just had at Donna's breasts, he was even more grateful the room was kid free.

Harvey took a swig of his drink, wishing it was scotch or whiskey. He wasn't much of an eggnog drinker, but Christmas was about his girls. He would go along with anything that made them happy, and Donna basically thought of it as tradition.

"Asking Jessica to babysit while we got the Christmas shopping done was a genius idea, by the way. I'm sure Addy has already charmed her into starting a Harvard Law School fund," Harvey joked, once he could speak again after the unexpected but tantalizing sight.

She'd only been in town a few days so far, but they had given up on pretending to need an additional bed when they were here together. He still had his separate space back in Connecticut, but that had been preexisting. With everything now and with this visit, his senses were in overdrive. She could make him lose his mind with just her voice over the phone, but with so much physical contact and time around each other, he was a goner.

"Hold on now, mister," she responded, raising her hand, pairing it with her words. "What makes you think she won't go to Yale? That's if she even decides to be a lawyer."

"You'll have to take that up with Jessica and her imaginary fund," he defended playfully, grinning at her offended expression. He still didn't understand how she could be so adorable and so devastating at the same time. "More eggnog, or can we finally switch to something better?" he asked, preparing to refill their drinks which would force him to stop staring.

"There's nothing better than eggnog at Christmas time! Besides, you can hardly taste it anymore. I basically poured straight brandy for you," she said and giggled at him, definitely feeling the effects.

"Okay, okay, it's not that bad," he relented. "It's just too damn heavy. I prefer when my drinks don't feel like a second dinner," he grumbled.

"So that's why you have a fridge full of Coors Light instead of something better," she joked, exaggerating a Eureka moment. "Real beer must be too heavy for you."

"Since when do you care about real beer?" he questioned dubiously. "And that's where you're wrong anyway, Donna," he added, before finishing the last of his drink. "With the way you couldn't stop ogling my abs last time, I figured I better keep giving you something to look at."

He got up to pour the next round, and she saved her comment for his return.

"Wow, so you're really going to call me out after I just pretended not to notice you staring down my shirt?" she questioned playfully and lightly slapped his chest.

After he had freshened up their drinks, he sat down on the floor next to her, wanting to reduce the distance. She wasn't about to raise any complaints and had been inching closer.

"Don't act like you don't know exactly what you're doing every time you decide to parade around shirtless," she accused with concealed amusement. "I'm only human," she added while shrugging, after seeing his knowing grin. Without the alcohol she might have denied it, or at least had to attempt to hide the blush that would have followed. Right now, though, she didn't feel like hiding.

"I'm just thinking about you and your humanity," he insisted while leering at her in a way that made her groan in both temptation and exasperation. He was so hot that it was annoying.

"What can I say, I am a selfless person," he continued and delivered smoothly.

"You might say that, but I'm not sure how many others would," she goaded, twisting her mouth cutely. Her head was starting to spin, and she didn't think it was from the eggnog.

The flirting, the teasing, it was all familiar, but not so much recently. Their new, still being worked on, dynamic with his work schedule had bled into how they were around each other. The weekends he did make it carried an air of desperation to make up for lost time and a layer of guilt for even having to. They also both focused on Addy so much that the developing nature between the two of them had stalled a little, or cooled even.

The second she arrived here, however, it was like they jumped back into how it was before. It was as confusing to her system as it was welcome.

"Ouch! And even after I made us burgers tonight," He bumped his shoulder into hers lightly, after gesturing like he was injured.

He knew it was going to kill him when they went back home, but he was really leaning on his ability to stay in the moment and enjoy their presence now. Being around Addy brought him a joy that he couldn't describe. Being around Donna felt like being together again, and that was how it was supposed to be.

"Which didn't take nearly as long as all the cookies I baked," Donna countered. That pregnancy induced decision to take the dessert class was really paying off, even if she had to keep her sweet tooth in check more often.

She noticed then that her arms were looped around his bicep, and there really wasn't much space left between them.

When the hell did that happen?

"We did that together. Who do you think kept Addy from eating all the cookie dough," he insisted. The smooth delivery had morphed into a hoarse whisper as he processed their proximity as well.

It felt like something was shifting, or that pretenses were being dropped. He really wanted to see where this was headed.

"Oh please, you were the one sneaking her all the cookie dough," she said, and thought she volleyed back well. Though, she couldn't be certain, as her hands had taken on a life of their own.

Now I am feeling up his pecs?

"To be fair, it was in moderation. I still kept her from going crazy," he responded, conjuring an innocent look, or maybe one of concentration.

With all the talk about cookies, he was in the mood for another, or at least a distraction. After grabbing another frosted one off the nearly empty plate perched on the coffee table, he took a sizeable bite.

He was going to kiss her if he wasn't careful, and he needed to be sure that she wanted him to. With things having been more strained lately, he couldn't let his wants and needs screw it up further. Even if he was drowning in them.

"Well, you certainly didn't keep yourself from going crazy with the cookies," she murmured distractedly, increasingly aware of how loudly her heart was beating.

Has his face always been this close?

She was pretty sure the butterflies in her stomach had formed an army.

He had some frosting on the corner of his mouth, and she wasn't thinking when she reached over to swipe it with her thumb. She wasn't sure she was capable of thought anymore, but she could stare, and she was staring, at those lips she had just touched. The same lips that she could never forget the taste of, the feel of, all over her body.

The alarm bells ringing in her head were the only thing that could cut through the current fog, but she still chose to ignore them. She didn't want to stop, and Addy wasn't going to interrupt this time.

She was tired of only thinking about others, tired of always trying to be the responsible one and tired of being pragmatic. She was ready to just lean into not thinking, just acting, living, so she leaned into him. And she kissed him. She KISSED him, she was kissing him and fucking lord it was just like riding a bike. If cycling was disorienting and orgasmic, and everything she ever loved doing, that was.

The way he was working his tongue in her mouth, had her already moaning his name. Either he pulled her onto his lap, or she crawled there on her own, but either way it didn't matter. What did matter was how close she already was from all the grinding and the friction, and how right it felt being with him like this again.

There were questions that could wait for later. Questions about what this all meant or if were they making a mistake and things of that nature. All she needed to know right now, in this moment, was how long it would take them to remove their cloth barriers.

"Fuck, I need you," he grunted before devouring her neck and clavicle. He used his tongue to soothe the bites, but there was no avoiding the reminders she would discover in the morning.

Mine.

The thought of marking her was awakening the animal in him and the need to claim her. He'd already fucked a baby into her, and that made his base instincts roar, but he needed her to be fully his, just like he needed to be hers.

She moaned in what must have been agreement.

His hands shot underneath her loose V-neck shirt, his shirt, the one she had changed into when baking was too hot for her sweater. He cupped her breasts and teased her unclothed nipples reveling in the sounds he was extracting from her.

When the hell did she take off her bra and how the fuck did I not notice?

It must have been when he was refilling their drinks, and he would have to credit her for her forward thinking. Ripping his shirt off her and being able to more than just feel her tits sounded amazing, but he was somehow still aware of where they were, out in the open.

"Bed?" he managed to ask between another round of heady, desperate, kisses.

She was rocking against him harder now, and he could feel her heat through their layers. Whatever control was left had all but been vanquished.

"Here. Now," she breathlessly demanded.

"Condom?" he asked and hoped he still had some. The question was more for her, though, because if an accident happened again, he didn't think he would be complaining. He wouldn't mind a son, or another daughter.

"IUD," she mumbled into his mouth, so ready to be done talking. "Now," she again insisted.

She didn't want anything to break the connection, including enough time to think it through. A moment to remove her shorts and to free him from his confines was all she allowed before she sunk down on him.

With how long it had been for her, and the sheer size of him, there was a flash of pain before the pleasure. She gasped at the initial stretch and then slowly built up a rhythm.

His hands tightly gripped her hips as he thrust into to her, finding the right timing to her movements.

They eventually increased the pace to an intoxicating frenzy. She bit her lip trying to control her volume, but he took over and pulled her head to his, fusing their lips together while he reached down between her legs and helped her explode in pleasure.

It was only a few strokes longer until he followed, erupting inside of her.

…..

"Harvey," Donna started, not bothering to lift her head from its spot on his muscled chest. Her skin was just starting to cool and was still slick with sweat. They had moved to the bedroom after the first time in front of the couch, and they couldn't help but to continue reuniting.

"That was…" She didn't have time to find the word before he provided options.

"Incredible, long overdue, soul staggering," he listed while softly stroking her hair. He placed a fatigued kiss on her forehead just below.

"It was good enough to let your ego have those," she teased while fully agreeing.

His choice of words might have been an understatement even. It wasn't just because of her extremely prolonged drought, either. They had mastered each other's bodies in ways that she did not think could be replicated. "But as soul scrambling-"

"Staggering," he corrected, cutting her off again. "And it was a hell of a lot more than just good."

"As soul staggering as it was," she amended, ignoring his last part but still agreeing. "I think it maybe should just be tonight," she suggested, her voice quivering slightly with trepidation.

This time they had together during break was like a preview of paradise, but they were so far from figuring things out when they were apart, back based in reality. She wanted this and she wanted him, but she was still unwilling to risk future happiness for temporary need fulfillment.

With everything surrounding fatherhood, she was understanding. Addy had been a surprise, not a planned choice, and he was trying. She had the patience to wait for him to figure it out and be more present, especially once she moved there. Even though she occasionally feared he wouldn't.

Getting back together would be a choice, and if their timing was wrong, it would only add expectations that could enhance the frustration and the disappointment. He would always be Addy's father, but relationships can end. Resuming things when they were already struggling with change could be a recipe for disaster.

Resisting him was nearly impossible, but she could wait, she could make herself resurrect the rule if it meant she had a better chance of truly having him in the end.

He tensed up and had to hold his eyes closed for a moment until he could stomach the wave of rejection. "You want me to pretend I can still keep my hands off you after that?" he forced out eventually.

"I'd much prefer to have our hands on each other too, but honey, things aren't this easy when we're not in this bubble. Right now, everything is amazing, but, well, you know how it's been when we're outside of it."

As counterproductive as it was, she nuzzled into him further, unwilling to not at least prolong the time they did have.

"Well, then we just have to make sure things stay like this," he offered as an attempted optimistic solution. He was holding her closer without realizing, as if it would be officially over if he loosened up and let her go.

"Harvey, if we could do that, we already would have. You know it's not that simple," she reasoned, letting herself trace patterns on his torso.

"I have a compromise, then. We stay like this while we are in the bubble, until your break is over," he countered, still not willing to fully give up, still clinging to her.

"Won't that just make things harder?" she asked, continuing to try to be the voice of reason.

"If we can't go back at that point, then maybe we shouldn't bother trying to. But if you still want to go back to your rule when you leave, I'll respect it. But there is no way I can have you here for a couple of weeks, have you in my bed, and not have all of you," he professed with resound resoluteness.

"Okay then, Harvey it's a deal. But no kissing in front of Addy. I don't want to confuse her," she said after a spell.

Maybe she should have discussed it more, or been more thorough in her inner debate, but she couldn't deny she wanted it too. She wasn't really going to be able to resist him either.

"Good thing she won't be up until the morning," he said with hunger, rolling her onto her back and draping his body over her.

They had time, at least for now.

January 4, 2001 – Present Day

"Jessica, all I am saying is that it should be included in the bylaws to have equal distribution of all bran bars. The partner areas are always fully stocked, but try finding even one in any of the associate break rooms. My body is a temple, and it demands regularity," Louis Litt rambled, having taken a seat in Jessica Pearson's office uninvited.

It was Daniel Hardman who was currently assigned to oversee the new associates, but for some reason she kept finding Louis in her office. She had her suspicions that Hardman was pranking her, sending the strange and infuriating man her way just to ruffle her feathers. Considering that Louis viewed her most trusted work friend as a potential mentor, it was the best explanation as to why he kept returning to her instead, always with ridiculous grievances.

"Louis," she started with extra syrup in her voice. "Have you ever thought about buying them for yourself? Or are you suggesting that we don't pay you enough here?" She arched her eyebrow at him as she leaned back in her cushioned office chair, holding in her annoyed sigh.

It wasn't even 9am yet and her day was already too long and severely lacking in coffee. Since her divorce, her life had only been about work. Though, her ex would argue that was true long before then, hence the reason for the divorce in the first place. Being married to the job didn't keep it from inducing headaches on mornings such as these, however. She refocused on the man in front of her, all too ready to shoo him out of her space.

"Of course not, Jessica. Gordon Schmidt and Van Dyke are all very generous," he said nodding earnestly. "But don't get me started on who we've hired this year. Have you seen what time they go home? They're ungrateful, incompetent, lazy," he listed with his fingers. "All of them. They certainly can't be trusted for fair bran bar allocation. It's not that-"

"Enough about the bars, Louis," she interrupted, having learned it was necessary the very first conversation she had with the large-toothed man. "And have you forgotten that you were one of those hired this year? Do we need to discuss appropriate reasons to enter my office again?"

Maybe this is why some people drink in the morning.

"I know you said to only come to you with important firm business, but Jessica, what could be more important than properly fueling your brain and your body-" he supplied with a defensive whine until he heard a sound coming from behind him and turned toward the source.

"Harvey," Jessica greeted with mock cheer as he burst through her closed office doors. "My secretary didn't mention that you would be dropping by."

She wasn't going to reward his blatant lack of manners with a genuinely warm greeting, but his timing was impeccable. If she had to sit there listening to Louis any longer, she was going to learn very quickly if the fiftieth-floor windows were ones that actually opened, or if she would have to throw him out through closed glass.

"What can I say, sometimes I just like to share the good news of my presence myself," he retorted smoothly, unbuttoning his suit jacket, and helping himself to a seat next to the balding man that Jessica was meeting with.

"Hey douchebag, had you called to make an appointment, you might have noticed that she is currently attending to an important matter," Louis chirped and turned within his chair towards Harvey, fixing him a side-eyed glare.

"Oh, I think we were about done with that," Jessica informed him with pursed lips, gesturing with her hand in the air. "Remind me, wasn't it just last week that we discussed how your conduct with clients could use improvement?'

She could see the potential in Louis. In the short time he had been with the firm he had already proven to be a machine with billable hours. Even though his personality was abrasive on a good day, his wizardry with numbers and financial regulations was helping to bring in new business. His outbursts had lost some too, however, and it was becoming apparent that if he didn't learn to reign in his emotions a little better, he would be prone to mood-based mistakes.

"Rest assured, I am all over it, Jessica, but obviously this schmuck here isn't a client. His suit is way too cheap for him to be able to afford you," he said snidely, unwilling to kowtow to the intruder if he wasn't at least paying for the time that he was commandeering.

"Excuse me?" Harvey looked at his offender, sizing him up more.

He knew suits well and had a healthy respect for the impression that the right one could set. Once he could afford to, he already had a tailor lined up to keep him in Tom Ford. This Louis guy clearly hadn't penny pinched when it came to his, but Harvey knew he could pull off a burlap sack better than this asshole could Brioni.

"My suit might cost half as much as yours, but I still look twice as good in it. And when I'm back at the firm my guy will make it three times," Harvey made sure to let him know.

"Back at the firm, what do mean back at the firm? Which firm? You going to Bratton Gould or something?" Louis fumbled his way through, appearing just as confused as he did angry. He spit a little as he spoke, and his upper lip was starting to develop a sweaty sheen.

"Louis, you do remember that you were one of 50 associates we hired, right? Harvey is in the same group as you, he is just doing a stint at the DA's office first," Jessica calmly explained, already sensing that these two would be her problem children.

Louis was going to really lose it when he discovered that Harvey's time as a prosecutor would count towards his associate accrual, meaning they would always be the same year.

"What, he couldn't hack it here, so you send him away to learn how not to suck at his job? Why not just fire him," he jeered.

With his experiences being bullied growing up, he tried to avoid displaying signs of weakness to anyone. He was a Pitbull now, or better yet, a lion, but there was something about Harvey that intimidated him.

He wasn't like Drake the Snake, but he still reminded him of some of the other kids who picked on him. Harvey was the golden boy, Louis could already tell, and it fed into his fear of being overlooked and never chosen. He was never the one singled out for praise or admiration, not by the girls in high school, his professors in college, or even his own parents. Esther was always their favorite.

The problem with Harvey was that despite casting the type of large shadow that always seemed to make Louis invisible, he was also so cool and charismatic. He had this charm about him that made Louis want to fan himself in his presence or invite him to go mudding. The simultaneous feeling of his soul being crushed by the magnitude of Harvey's orbit, and the strong desire to call Esther and brag to her about his new best friend, was hard to reconcile. So, he bared his teeth in case.

"Not only can I hack it, but when I get back, you're going to be watching me get every promotion ahead of you," Harvey warned with an edge to his tone, while vowing it to himself.

The audacity of this prick was tightening his collar.

"The only thing that I am going to be watching is…um, wait." Louis held up a hand as he started to piece it all together. "Wait a Prunie blending minute. She called you Harvey. You're Harvey Specter."

"That's right. The man, the myth, the legend," he boasted, puffing out his chest.

"I've heard about your legends, alright. Like you almost getting kicked out of Harvard for punching your moot court opposing counsel," Louis taunted, trying hard not to sound impressed by who his new rival was. He glanced down at his nails, picking them, hoping it helped to make him appear indifferent.

"That's strange, I haven't heard that legend from you before, Harvey," Jessica inserted.

She had been largely silent by design, letting them bicker amongst themselves. When it came to pissing matches, she preferred to be outside of the splash zone, but that was the sort of thing her star pupil should have shared with his financier.

"It wasn't worth knowing, but speaking of which, how do you know, Louis?" Harvey questioned.

When Donna finds out she'll never let me hear the end of it.

"I was a 3L when you started. Everybody there heard about it," Louis scoffed.

"If you are two years ahead of me, why are we the same year now? Where you just giving me shit about the DA's office when you had to work somewhere else first?" Harvey challenged, still annoyed by the nerve on this guy.

"This is the first job I've ever had! I would never want to work at some other inferior firm. When I finished law school, I stayed for my MBA," Louis explained like Harvey should have known already.

Partially standing to lift the chair off the floor, he twisted it to fully face him. It was a move he soon regretted when he noticed how perfect Harvey's head of hair was.

"That just goes to show you the difference between you and me," Harvey stated, gesturing between the two of them. "You already knew my name my first year on campus, but you were there for five years, and I never heard about you. How do you think it's going to go with clients?" he taunted.

"We didn't run in the same circles," Louis pouted, crossing his arms and sliding down in his chair like a grumpy toddler.

It reminded Harvey of the last time he told Addy she had to finish her vegetables before dessert. "I'm not convinced you ran in any circles," he added to further insult.

"And I am not convinced that I haven't lost my damn mind for letting the two of you run your mouths for so long. Louis, get the hell out of my office, and Harvey, why the hell are you here?" Jessica cut in, rising from her seat, going for a power stance.

"Right away, Jessica. I'll be sure to email you a copy of the minutes once I type them up," Louis said, scrambling to his feet and exiting with haste.

"That won't be necessary," Jessica called after him, though knowing full well to still expect a detailed account in her inbox.

"Can you believe that guy," Harvey asked, pointing his thumb over his shoulder once Louis was out the door.

"Let's just skip past this and get to why you came. I've had enough of my day wasted already." She looked at him over her folded hands and finally did let out the sigh she'd been withholding.

"I need you to draw up some paperwork for Donna and Addy."

He'd been thinking about it a lot, and even more so since their extended visit started. There were so many times lately in which he felt like he was failing at a father, but the one thing he knew he could always step up with was financial security. The amount would increase greatly once he was done making government employee money, but he didn't want to wait any longer to get things started.

Donna was preparing to step into an arena where she would earn plenty, but Harvey needed the peace of mind from knowing that no matter what, he was there for them in some way. Life insurance, a college fund, stocks, options, he wanted it all set up for them. They would get everything he ever owned in the event of the worst-case scenario.

Marriage…was a way to do some of this as well, but he hadn't spent a lot of time thinking about that. It had a way of not being forever, and he knew he wanted things with Donna to be.

Harvey hadn't even noticed that he had left his phone at home until Jessica's assistant was showing Donna, who was waiting it, to the office. He barely had a chance to rise from his chair and spin around before Addy was barreling into him.

"Daddy, I missed you," she squealed, as he lifted her into his arms, and she did her best to wrap her little ones around his neck.

"You missed me, huh? It's only been a couple of hours, Littlefoot," he murmured softly while beaming down at his baby. Having her in his arms brought him more peace than the paperwork ever could.

Harvey might have been surprised, but Donna certainly wasn't. The time they had been spending together was kicking Addy into a clingy state. Everything was going to be so much harder when they went back to Connecticut and things were back to normal. She was torn between slowly weaning her daughter off and taking advantage of every available moment. She was having to consider the same, for what was going on between the two of them.

Addy just nodded and snuggled into him before remembering what her mommy taught her about manners. "Hi, Miss Jess'ca," she greeted.

Kids had never been in the cards for Jessica, but she had quite the soft spot for this one. That Harvey and Donna would make cute offspring was predictable, but her time spent babysitting had done a lot to teach her about the sweet innocence of the bright little girl who may someday rule the world. She briefly wondered how much she was really joking with that.

She returned the greeting to the girl who had already wormed her way into her heart with a smile too honest to usually be seen at work.

"I don't want to interrupt," Donna started. "But someone you saved in your phone as 'Dickhead #3' has already called several times."

Harvey had mentioned swinging by the firm to start his morning, and she thought it prudent to catch him before his day got going. Once that happened, he could be at the office, the courthouse, or anywhere really, for a meeting or whatnot.

She hadn't expected the interrogation she encountered in the hallway because of it. At first, she was pretty sure it was another example of an older man taking notice of a younger woman. He was short, badger-like, and seemingly into her despite his wedding ring, but his dynamic changed once she mentioned she was there for Harvey. Suddenly, he had questions for, and she could read something shady behind them.

The man who introduced himself as Daniel Hardman was one that Harvey should probably watch out for.

Since she had made the trek, Harvey suggested taking his girls out for breakfast before he started his day. Donna and Addy went downstairs ahead of him to the 1st floor lobby while he used the restroom.

"Mmmmm, Chubby Checker," Harvey heard Louis blurt out as he started to pass him in the hallway, having finished his detour to relieve himself. His progress was impeded when Louis threw an arm out in front of him, while clenching his fist with the other.

"I know I shouldn't ask, but what the hell was that?" Harvey looked down at the offending arm, debating whether he should knock it off him, before he trailed his eyes over the rest of the body attached to it.

The look on Louis's face was somewhere between a dog eyeing a T-bone steak and the man struggling to pass a large bowel movement. There might have also been a bit of being on the receiving end of a swift kick to the nuts sprinkled in. Harvey couldn't be entirely sure that it wasn't just his face, but to rule out a stroke or some other medical emergency, he followed Louis's gaze.

When he saw a flash of red, he knew exactly what had sent Louis on the fritz, and he couldn't blame him in the least. The first time Harvey saw Donna, it nearly stopped his heart.

"Quick, Harvey, do I smell like onion bagel?" Louis asked, before leaning over even closer and breathing in his face.

"So that's what I've been smelling. I just thought it was your feet," he joked, looking back down at the arm that was still slung across his torso. Figuring that Louis was frozen, Harvey stepped back from it.

"Be serious, douchebag. While you were busy watering the porcelain lawn, I just saw the most magnificent creature I have ever bestowed my eyes upon. If I am going to make her the future Mrs. Louis Litt, I can't have onion overpowering my pheromones," Louis stated, intensely serious.

Harvey had to fight off a laugh at the idea of Donna and Louis. With the amount of sex they had been cramming in every time Addy went to sleep, he was feeling pretty confident that he could accept the humor in the idea of Donna and anybody else.

"Talk about putting the cart before the horse there, Louis. Don't you think you should at least get her name before you try to give her yours? But it looks like you're going to miss the chance to do either. While you're standing here with your dick in your hand, she's busy getting on the elevator," he pointed out verbally and physically.

"Damn it, Harvey, that's why I said quick! I can't sprint over there, I have this thing with sweating profusely when I hit a certain speed," he complained, practically stomping his foot.

"If it makes you feel any better, she's completely out of your league," he said with manufactured sympathy. Donna was his, or soon to be.

"See, that's a sports idiom, and I prefer to think in Shakespeare. You may think that I can't hit a touchdown or whatever, meanwhile I'll be busy giving her a taste of the third act. That's the climax, if you catch my drift," Louis spouted, with way too much confidence.

"Louis, I am pretty sure that I don't want to catch anything that you are drifting my way."

Harvey watched him start to speak, then swallow his words instead, and decided to keep poking at him a little. "I can't say I am not surprised. I thought you would be too used to scaring little kids to be interested in a woman with one."

He teased him with some truth behind it, not thinking of the man as the kid type. Louis didn't seem to have the temperament or the patience for children, though Harvey supposed many would have thought the same about him prior to Addy.

"Are you kidding me, H-Dawg? I am a MILF magnet. Also, I'm between cats right now, so there's nothing I would cherish more than an instant family. And I resent the implication that I frighten kids, I bet I'm better than you with them," he said, offended by the implication.

It looked like the auburn-haired maiden had come from the direction of Jessica's office. Maybe he should go sit down with the senior partner again to get to the bottom of it.

The wheels were turning for Louis, and Harvey could see them. Something still stopped him from telling the angry lawyer that it was his daughter and his…his Donna that he was busy plotting a life with.

Before he disclosed anything, Harvey figured he should consult Donna on what they would share with people.

March 9, 2001 – Present Day

Harvey wasn't the only assistant district attorney working under Cameron Dennis that would go on to another job, or even a different legal field, but he was likely the only one with a predetermined exit date. It wasn't hard to spot the difference between the lawyers who would stay forever out of comfort and familiarity, and those who would either rise up the ranks there, or go on to bigger and better things.

Harvey managed to stand out from both groups. He didn't have to earn his way back to the firm, he just had to wait out his time, though he was never one to do so idly.

While the DA's office was never intended to be his final stop, just a place to grow along the way, he still found himself enjoying criminal law. Putting away bad guys, people who have hurt others, that would be the noble reason for his enjoyment. It was more of a secondary benefit, however.

There was something inexplicably thrilling about that first glance at a defendant once their fate had been sealed. When the judge handed out a sentence after a plea deal had been reached and accepted, there was a flash of a moment when it really sunk in. The slump of the shoulders or the hope draining from the guilty party's eyes was the instant that the victory felt real, that he could taste it. It was sweeter than winning boxing matches or baseball games, maybe poker tournaments even.

Whether it was something that should reflect negatively on him, how much pleasure he extracted from taking away the freedom of others and breaking their will, he didn't bother considering. He wasn't dealing with the low-level stuff. Cameron hadn't felt the need to ease him into the job with petty crime. The cases he was prosecuting involved some of the more serious felonies often, ones that even the more forgiving types would shudder at.

Additionally, the experience he was gaining would only help when he returned to corporate law. While he had yet to take a case to trial, there were still plenty of grand juries, evidentiary hearings, and motions to argue, that helped to hone his skills.

Today was one of those days, as he had a full slate of grand juries in which every case he brought received a true bill. That was to be expected. A grand jury could "indict a ham sandwich" as the saying went, but he was still feeling good about his day. The only downside to it was having to call Donna to let her know it was yet another weekend he couldn't make it back to Connecticut.

If it was just the indictments, he could have gotten away with spending time there and doing a little work in the evenings. In another show of faith, however, Cameron had told him that he was ready to be one of the on-call ADAs to respond to any major crime scenes, homicides in particular. He wasn't permitted to leave the city while assigned the pager used for callouts.

If it wasn't for having to miss another weekend with his girls, he might be patting himself on the back for the accomplishment. After taking down a goal, he preferred to move onto the next one and not label everything a celebratory occasion, but being the most junior ADA to be trusted with the task wasn't something to completely overlook. Newly minted prosecutors didn't work murders or manslaughters, often not even in a secondary capacity. Harvey had already been assigned a few, and if he got paged out, there would be even less initial supervision.

He knew before he had dialed her number that being on-call was something Donna would understand that he couldn't get out of. She had been gracious as expected, and even complimented him for it. He'd been pushing himself more to make time for Addy, even when he was slammed, and Donna had noticed. Spending more time with her too was just as motivating. It was especially true after their two weeks together.

When she went back to Connecticut with Addy at the end of the break, he didn't fight her when she said that she still wanted the rule in place. It tore at him something fierce, but he had promised himself that he would go along with whatever she decided. He had to believe in the fact that it didn't mean she won't want him later, but that type of faith was tough for him.

One of the reasons he had pushed Donna away when he had ended things, was the fear that she would eventually leave on her own. He had panicked when she had indicated that she might not move with him, and he had overreacted and pulled the plug so that she couldn't later. He understood that now, not that it made him feel any better about his decision. Raising a daughter together gave him hope, however. Donna knew how much he loved Addy, and no matter what happened between them, so would never take his daughter away. Maybe that meant Donna would never leave either, that they would always be connected.

When they moved to New York, and it was only a matter of months now, he promised himself he would make it up to them. He had been doing better with the cancelling, but now he was back to missing out. Deep down, it still worried him that he would continue when they were here, that he wouldn't keep his promise.

The need to be the best wasn't something he could just turn off. It was a part of who he was, and it always had been. His family meant everything to him, but they were the new part of the equation. The overwhelming need to never lose was the element he grew up recognizing in himself. Being a dad, and potentially a committed partner, was what he had never considered before, never planned for.

He needed to figure out how to be the lawyer he was meant to be without sacrificing the relationship with his family. He still had to prove Cameron Dennis wrong as well.

The steps to his apartment building were just coming into view as he twisted to crack his back. At his age, he didn't think he should be able to feel his day in his lumbar region, but he had spent most of it seated with the grand jury and the wooden chairs were hell.

It wasn't late enough for him to be as tired as he was, and he was sure he looked every bit of it. The jacket to his suit had been removed and slung over his shoulder at the beginning of his commute home, and his shirt had seen less wrinkled days. His tie had been loosened to the point that he might as well have abandoned it. Unsurprisingly, though, his hair still looked fantastic.

Work was fatiguing as it was, but he knew that wasn't the only contributing factor. Too much time had past since he had the opportunity to wear himself out with Donna's body every night for it to still be affecting him this much, but he could barely sleep without her.

Fighting to keep the anxiety from returning wasn't helping either.

His need for some quality rest paired with the thoughts about family swirling around his brain were so distracting that he almost didn't notice the familiar figure leaning against the wall to his building, Styrofoam cup in hand and a duffle bag on her shoulder.

"Isn't it a bit late for coffee?" he asked, eying the brunette suspiciously and groaning internally. His bed was calling his name, and he was lacking the patience to deal with whatever was coming next.

"Well, to be honest I was expecting you to either get home much later or to have to wait out a guest or two," she teased while raising her eyebrows suggestively. "It is Friday night after all, and I didn't want to risk falling asleep in front of your building in this type of neighborhood."

Pushing herself off the brick wall to step closer to him, she scrunched up her nose with the jab at his street. When he didn't interject, she finished tauntingly."I guess the DA's office really isn't paying you the big bucks."

She took a sip of her steaming drink after ending with a smirk. Taking in his appearance, she noticed he was less put together than she was accustomed to seeing. Still, she couldn't deny how good he managed to look. She hated the hold he still had on her.

Going straight to a big firm, she knew she was making a lot more than him at this point in their careers. His apartment building was in a neighborhood with nothing to actually pick at, she just couldn't resist getting a dig in for old time's sake. Especially since she knew that it wasn't where Harvey would always want to live. His ego and his future earning prowess would demand somewhere more luxurious, like some sort of extravagant penthouse or condo.

She would make sure to beat him to it, though whether that would be in New York remained a question, and half the reason she found herself there.

"This might not be Park Avenue, but there is nothing wrong with this area. What are you doing here anyway, Scottie?" he asked, not really in the mood for games.

"I need a favor, and it's not big enough to be the favor you owe me, for the record," she answered, making sure to let the last part be known.

"Just get to the point because I don't have time for this," he sighed, his impatience shining through. A favor didn't sound like the recipe for a peaceful night of sleep.

"Poker game tonight? Hot date with another one of my cousins?" she retorted, unable to resist.

After the last part slipped out, she immediately regretted it, however. That night had been about Donna as always, and mentioning her cousin made her sound just as jealous as she had been then, and maybe still was now. She should be over Harvey, maybe even resent him, but she still wanted to be fucked by him just as much as she wanted to fuck him, in court.

That was the other half of what brought her here, the latter part, though she would never turn down the first, if offered. Based on his surprise to see her, she figured he didn't know yet that she was defending a client that he had just indicted. Defendants and their attorneys weren't present during grand jury proceedings, so she still had the element of surprise on her side.

When she had noticed that he was the prosecutor of record, she had begged her firm to let her take the case. It was a risky move since it was a client whose business generated a ton of billable hours, and she didn't have room to fail. She was up for the London assignment that she was still deciding on, and dropping the ball could eliminate the option. She had to take the chance.

Missing Harvey, and the desire to see him again even as competitors was something she tried to ignore, but with the way things ended, she needed this shot to come out on top. It sounded like closure to her.

He had always beaten her in law school, but she had been distracted then by what their relationship was at the time, and what she had wanted it to become. Now, she felt like she could have the upper hand, especially when he didn't see it coming. He thought she liked to attack straight on, but she had no problem pouncing from the shadows.

She was ready to have her head fully in the game now. Being attracted to him and up for a night of no strings attached fun wasn't the same as being in love with him, she could focus. That didn't mean she lacked respect for his ability, he was a formidable opponent either way. She had some tricks up her sleeve, however, and it was more than just surprise.

Knowing Harvey, he would leave his work files spread around his apartment. Studying with him during law school had taught her as much. Once he fell asleep, she could snoop a little without him knowing, and uncover his developing strategy for the case. If there was any evidence that he planned on being slow to include in discovery, she would find it. He didn't have to know why she was really there.

"Do I really need to repeat myself?" he snapped, still lacking patience.

"Fine. The favor," she said, getting to the point. "I need to crash in your guest room tonight. A pipe burst and I was having a hell of a time finding a hotel. It's like all the crazy tourists showed up a week early for St. Paddy's Day or something," she fabricated.

"How do you even know where I live?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously. He could handle loaning out his couch for a night, but she had a way of never sharing the whole truth.

"It wasn't hard to look you up. Something you should consider with all those criminal cases you're taking. Might want to pick a place that at least has doorman," she shrugged, downplaying the effort she really put into it.

"I'll take that under advisory." Harvey rolled his eyes. "I don't have a guest room, it's my daughter's room. You're not sleeping there, so it's the couch or the wall out here that you were so concerned about."

She simply nodded. The couch made things easier anyway, and she really wasn't there to press the issue with them. Representing her client to the best of her ability, earning some standing at her firm, and a little victory closure was what she was there for.

He wasn't enthusiastic about letting her stay the night, but he wasn't going to turn her away. Everything surrounding the pregnancy and her knowing was history enough for him to move on. She mattered to him, and she probably always would in some capacity, but he was tired, and he didn't have to welcome the intrusion.

This was also supposed to be his family time and he couldn't stop thinking about how much more he would rather have Addy in the next room, and Donna in his bed, than Scottie on his couch.

March 10, 2001 – Present Day

Harvey's birthday had fallen on a Monday this year. With how busy he had been, and how hard he was trying, Donna really wanted to make it a good one. She wouldn't make a big deal of the actual birthday part of it, as it still wasn't special to him, but bringing Addy for a visit would be. She was certain of that much.

The original plan had been to incorporate a small celebration during his visit there the days before, but when he called to cancel again, she pivoted to going to him this weekend. Her hope had been to go on the actual day, but she couldn't, because life just wasn't that kind. One of her professors had scheduled a huge exam and it was too important to blow it off.

She had a fondness for surprising him anyway.

He had been missing fewer weekends for a while, but lately, it was starting to slip back to how it was before. It hadn't reached a point that she was frustrated, and she was definitely still understanding. She had to deal with a disappointed daughter who wasn't over being around her father more fulltime, however. Donna wasn't over that yet, either.

Everything during Christmas break had felt like a window into what could be after graduation, or even what they could have always had, if talking things through had been his first impulse and not jumping ship. Maybe it was what they could have already made it back to, if hers had been telling him she was pregnant when she first found out.

Regardless of what the glimpse was truly meant to represent, she couldn't get being with him again out of her mind. The sex itself was as amazing as it had always been, maybe even better with the added bond of being parents together, but the intimacy from feeling like they were a true family unit was something extra.

She was starting to believe that maybe they were close enough to the finish line to make it through the remaining hardships. This weekend was a good opportunity to talk about it again. When they were away from her parents' house, they had more privacy and connection to what was coming.

He was such a part of her that she could never really feel whole when they weren't together in every sense. She was tired of missing a piece of her and was ready to believe that he wouldn't run again. If she could have him, she would never want anyone else, and she was also ready to believe he felt the same.

The train ride into the city was faster than it usually was, or at least it felt that way. Addy, who had still been a little extra fussy, had been on her best behavior the entire trip. Going to visit Harvey was most likely the reason behind it, for the both of them.

"Come on baby, let's go see your daddy," Donna said after strapping Addy into her stroller.

They were starting to phase it out, but it was helpful in this case to have the extra storage space for Harvey's presents. The handprint art project that Addy had made fit nicely in the saddle bag, so did the box of cigars that she would begrudgingly let him smoke after the victories he deemed worthy of acknowledging. The expectations he set for himself were so high sometimes that he didn't always give himself enough credit for his accomplishments.

She wasn't a fan of the smell or the long-term health effects of smoking cigars if he did so regularly, but if the occasional one would cause him to take a minute to bask in it all, it was worth it. She was proud of him, even when his career kept him away. There also was the unmentioned bonus that he looked irresistible when he had a cigar between his lips and a glass of scotch in hand. Somehow, the scent of the smoke worked better on him than anyone else as well.

His last gift didn't fit in the side bags of the stroller. She had to bring her largest purse to hold the Spinners album that she knew he wanted but was reluctant to admit as much. She would remind him that they were one of the defining pop bands of their time, if he even hinted at downplaying his enjoyment.

After she rounded the block to Harvey's, her eyes locked onto someone she wasn't sure she'd ever see again. If she did, her money would have been in the court room, not leaving Harvey's apartment on a Saturday morning, clutching an overnight bag.

Suddenly she found herself fighting back tears and disbelief. Normally, she wasn't one to jump to conclusions, but what other ones could there even be. He had been with Scottie before, and she had tried to only ever be supportive. It felt different now. It felt like they were on the verge of getting back together and that was before they slept together. Even though it had been her rule and her desire for more certainty that had turned what could have been warp speed into a snail's pace, seeing Scottie hurt.

Him having needs and her spotting some random woman walking out would have been easier. Hell, she probably wouldn't even have linked an attractive stranger to Harvey at all. If she did, it would have at least just been about scratching an itch. Everyone had those. With Scottie, there were real feelings in the past, enough to have made her nervous. Now, it made Donna question their future.

Despite the way her heart was constricting, she knew it wasn't fair to assign blame. Technically, there wasn't any kind of agreement they had forbidding a Scottie reunion, or whatever it was. With Thomas, he had expressed his displeasure, made it seem like he still wanted her. He should damned well know it was mutual. The two weeks would have never happened otherwise. She held just as much displeasure for a woman being with him, and Scottie came with a big, fat, especially.

Why now was the question that kept reverberating in her head. Maybe Christmas had pushed him in the opposite direction, maybe he had gotten his fill. It just didn't make any sense, their time together felt like the kind you didn't walk away from. In a way, she did, however, and maybe that was the problem. Whatever it was, she couldn't stick around to find out. Space to breathe had become critical and she didn't want him to see her break down over Scottie.

Donna's mind catapulted her back to the first time she saw her with Harvey in the courtyard. The woman had a way of being there at the worst times. Or maybe it was Harvey that had a way of reminding her how he had dropped her on a dime, after nearly a year together, whenever she let herself consider more. There was something about his timing.

She really had believed he wanted her back, and permanently. They were going to talk about it this weekend, she had figured. She was going to tell him they should jump all in and not wait any longer.

Not anymore, not after Scottie. Peggy, Stephanie, and day drinks that spilled into the night quickly became the new plan that she was formulating. Hopefully, she could catch one or both of them free. Harvey and Addy were going to have some quality daddy daughter time and she didn't owe him an explanation.

When he opened the door, she all but flung her bags in, handed Addy off with a big hug and a few words for her, and turned around without anything further.

She was gone before he had broken his confused silence.

…..

"As much as I love talking about my new job working with wounded veterans, I know that's not why you had to see us tonight," Peggy stated knowingly, with a slight slur to her speech.

She was all too happy to continue on about her career change, or her future plans to work with underprivileged girls, but she knew her friend. Donna had called them for a reason.

After taking a sip of her drink, she flopped back into the familiar, red, leather padding of the booth. The restaurant bar had become one of her and Stephanies go-tos after they had stopped living together but would still meet up weekly to hang out. The strength to price ratio of the drinks was the selling point, along with a shockingly good food menu. It was virtually empty when they had arrived, but the crowd was starting to pick up now. They had certainly been there long enough and the number of drinks they had already consumed reflected that.

"For the record, I love hearing about your new job," Donna insisted before her tongued fumbled to find the straw for the fruity concoction that Stephanie had ordered the three of them. "And you're not suggesting that I have ulterior motives and can't just miss my old roommates, are you?"

"You know I am not, but I know how you are with schedules and planning. I would bet you normally consult Emily Post about how much notice you're supposed give when inviting friends out," she responded with a sage undertone and a knowing nod.

"What?" Donna exclaimed with a laugh that was a little louder and a little lighter from the drinks. So far, she had excelled in distracting herself. "I am way more fun than that. Flexible too!"

"I'm sure Harvey would agree with that," Stephanie jumped in, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Donna hadn't kept her updated, but she had been around them enough to assume they were either together or still dancing around each other. Bringing him up was one way to find out, though Peggy continued speaking instead.

"Well, in this case you didn't even tell us you were in town, which makes me think that something changed your plans last minute. Considering that Steph was the first one to mention Harvey tonight, I'm…" Peggy deduced until Donna cut in. She had a satisfied look on her face while reading between the lines.

"Okay, that's enough from you, my dear Watson," Donna interrupted, trying to keep it light, but already feeling the heaviness of the current situation with the father of her child setting in.

"Shouldn't you be Watson in this scenario, since I am the Sherlock piecing things together?" she asked innocently, knowing she hit the nail on the head with the Harvey conclusion.

Donna simply shrugged still hoping to deflect and said, "We're all the main character in our own story." After a sigh and accepting that they would never let it go, she continued. "I suppose I do have a reason, not that one is needed to want to spend time with you gals." She did need to get it off her chest.

"Relax, I am not judging," Peggy replied, swaying slightly as she swung her arm dismissively, not that Donna was all that defensive. "You're just usually the one solving problems, so forgive me for leaping at the chance to help you through one."

"She's right, Red. You've got something on your mind, just let it out," Stephanie added to encourage her friend while giving her a nudge with her elbow for more of the same.

Being Donna's friend meant realizing that her vulnerable moments were rare, and often centered around supporting others. When it came to her own matters of the heart, she was usually one to mask her emotions. Perhaps because of the alcohol, the walls she had erected were for once transparent.

"Twist my arm why don't you," Donna conceded with mock annoyance. "Fine, I… I saw Scottie leaving Harvey's apartment this morning," she mumbled. Her voice was shaky as she forced it out, and she hung her head more than she would have wanted to.

"That's the little feisty number he was seeing before?" Stephanie asked, her face scrunched up as she tried to place the name.

Peggy gestured to the passing waiter for another round of drinks, settling for the same overly sweet beverage. She wanted to avoid the chance that pausing to order would allow Donna the time to change her mind about sharing what was troubling her.

"That's the one," Donna confirmed with a nod.

Scottie was feisty to say the least. She was also beautiful, smart, had a competitive streak that rivaled Harvey's, and possessed a mix of the right qualities to make her insecure. With the way things had been, she had thought she was past all that.

Both Peggy and Stephanie finished off the rest of their drinks in silence, letting Donna have the floor.

"I told Harvey that he could live his life while we got through law school, so technically he didn't do anything wrong, but after we hooked up a few months ago… I guess I didn't think he would be looking for something like that again," she reluctantly confessed.

"Wait, you and Harvey hooked up again? Way to bury the lead!" Stephanie exclaimed, jolting up in her seat.

"I would have expected at least a phone call about THAT!" Peggy added, with just as much sparked energy.

"I stayed with him over winter break, and during that time we couldn't stop jumping each other. But after, I told Harvey that we should still wait out the rule. I didn't want to complicate things, but maybe that's why he went back to her. Maybe I made him feel rejected," she said softly, her watery eyes focused somewhere off in the distance.

"It is not your fault, Donna! I knew the second I met Harvey that he didn't give a fuck about rules. So, if he's banging that shady chick instead of fighting for you, then he really is the dumb ass I first thought he was." Peggy almost shouted and slapped her hand on the table with her words.

Maybe this one wasn't all on Harvey, but it was easier to blame him in her mind than her sweet friend who was never ill intentioned.

"It's not that, it's really not. I wanted him to respect my rule… it's just that, well, we are so close to me being done with school and being with him again felt so freaking right. I just really didn't expect him to welcome back someone that he actually cared about. If he was still thinking about getting back together with me."

It was more complicated than that, but she didn't know how to explain it. Harvey was about the furthest thing from a cheater, and even if they weren't official enough for that to apply, he wouldn't mess around if he was committed to the idea of them. She knew his mind, and if he still wanted her, he simply wouldn't go back to an ex. If he wanted to push her away, to close that door, that is exactly what he might do, however.

"What did he say when you confronted him about?" Stephanie asked, not as willing to assume the worst as Peggy. She had never once looked at Harvey and not seen a man crazy about her friend.

"I didn't," she admitted with a bit of sheepish look before taking a large gulp of her freshly delivered drink, bypassing the straw. "I basically just thrust Addy in his arms and told him I was going out. I think he was still digesting things when I left."

"Good, let him sweat. He needs a dose of that sort of medicine," Peggy grumbled.

"Speaking of needs, have you ever stopped and thought about yours with all of this?" Stephanie asked after waiving a hand at Peggy meant to encourage her to move on from that type of judgment.

Peggy had met Donna first, but sometimes Stephanie felt like she knew her better. She at least had the foresight to know that laying into Harvey too hard was a way to shut down the conversation with Donna, not get her to consider different options. No matter what, she would always defend that man in the end.

"What do you mean?" Donna asked, though she was really just buying time to consider how she would reply.

"I mean, you encouraged Harvey to live his life, but aside from the bang session you had with him recently, have you been living yours?" Stephanie explained. Her friend was too selfless for her own good at times.

"I've been too busy with school and being a mom to have much of one," she offered in way of an excuse. Her cheeks were sporting a slight tinge of pink.

"Maybe you need to change that. Donna, hon, was Christmas the first time you've had sex since you broke up?" Peggy questioned, not liking the idea of Donna and Harvey's time apart being so one-sided.

"Honestly, that's been the last thing on my mind," she responded.

There were times that it was very true. Motherhood and school took a lot out of her, physically and mentally, but she also did love sex, especially with Harvey.

"Girl, I don't believe you. You guys broke up like over three years ago and I know you're… affectionate. You can't tell me you weren't going crazy," Stephanie stated bluntly, knowing she would have a hell of a time dealing with that personally.

She sipped her sweet drink to rid herself of the sour taste that just the idea of going that long without sex had left in her mouth.

"I can admit that the pregnancy hormones about killed me, but I am a busy mom now," Donna said still defending herself and still slightly embarrassed. It did seem a little pathetic in retrospect.

"Busy moms deserve sex too. And if Harvey is getting his beak wet with Scottie, you should have your fun as well. In fact, you should find someone here tonight to fuck," Peggy countered, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table while fixing Donna with her most authoritative look.

Donna choked on her drink a little, nearly also spitting it out in surprise. "I should what now?"

She received an arched eyebrow from Peggy before her words. "You heard me."

"No, I can't do that!" she exclaimed. It wasn't like she was a prude, far from it, but she had discovered that she was pregnant six weeks after her 21st birthday. She had missed out on having much of a bar scene phase, and hadn't done much of the random hookups.

"Why the hell not? That hot guy at the bar has been eyeing you the whole night. What's the harm in introducing yourself, and if things go well, maybe breaking that dry spell?" Stephanie piled on, warming up to Peggy's suggestion.

She felt like her friend should be on an equal footing with Harvey. The idea that had had fun while she pined didn't sit well with her. They would probably make their way back together, and that is what Stephanie wanted for them, but if he still had his time exploring and his experiences along the way, she thought it would be healthy for Donna to do the same. Tonight might help her heal at least.

Donna thought about it for a second, or maybe a minute. Harvey hadn't done anything outside of their agreement, but she wouldn't be either, if she took a page out of his book. Seeing Scottie had hurt her despite the rule being her creation. Maybe she should have asked him about her, but she wasn't ready to hear him confirm what she was certain was true.

Donna was a woman with a healthy appetite for sex after all, and she had been denying herself for a long time. Sleeping with Harvey had awakened her hunger, however, and she was currently ravenous. She had no idea how she'd stopped herself from seducing him every time she'd seen him since. Maybe she shouldn't have stopped herself, maybe it would have prevented Scottie from reemerging. It at least would have forced him to give her a reason, since she was dead set against asking for one herself.

When she had mentioned pregnancy, she hadn't been lying about it being difficult. With all the extra hormones and the engrained memories of how she got knocked up in the first place, it had been brutal to get through. Things had been a little easier since, motherhood and school really were that time and mind consuming, but that was up until Christmas changed things.

Now the idea of blowing off some steam was quickly growing on her and the guy at the bar was definitely someone she found attractive.

She could live her life too.

"You're right, there is no harm in it. Fuck it, I am going to go talk to him," she announced before standing. After chugging the rest of her latest drink for a little extra courage, she grabbed Peggy's recently delivered whiskey sour and downed it too.

Prior to ordering, Donna had seriously debated having another. Her head had already started to get a bit fuzzy, and at some point, she would have to go back and be a mother. That meant seeing Harvey, however. Now, after taking down the last two drinks, she was really buzzing.

She slithered up to the bar, resting her forearms on the counter and sticking her ass out just a touch extra. Little space was left between where she was propped up and where the handsome mystery man was sitting on a barstool.

"If I offer to buy you a drink, would you accept, or should I step up my game and send a charcuterie board to your table?" he asked by way of introduction, turning towards her slightly.

"If there is even a question, then you should probably start with both," she responded, pursing her lips in fake thought.

"It sounds like you're already willing to have more than one drink with me if that's just the start. I am going to send that board over, and I better add some crab cakes for good measure."

He immediately gestured for the bartender, not risking wasting any time. The crab cakes were just a guess, but for a restaurant bar that was more of a hole in the wall, the cook made surprisingly good ones.

"Well, if you are going to crash our night, you should probably include a few shrimp cocktails just to be safe," she suggested.

She was joking more than she was being serious, but it would be nice to leave her friends with a parting gift. Peggy loved herself some shrimp.

"Do I need the extra credit to win you over, or is this for your protective friends?" he asked. Either way, he would send it to the table, but it helped to know how solid his footing was so far. He didn't want to fumble this enticing woman.

"How do you know they're protective?" she asked. Her ability to see answers without asking was a little compromised from the last few rounds.

"Other than the fact that they've been watching us with hawk eyes the whole time?" he provided as an answer, but he was really letting her know that he had been paying attention.

"You can never be too careful with strangers at the bar," she shrugged, but paired it with a flirtatious look.

"Let's not be strangers any longer then. My name is Mark Meadows, and you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he followed, offering his hand to shake.

"Oh please. Flattery goes a long way, Mr. Meadows, but there is so much more to me than just this incredible package you see," she said while outlining her figure with her hands, highlighting her best assets.

"I don't doubt that for a second. I'm only into intelligent girls, and you must be a genius," he said, lowering his voice and brushing her forearm. He thought he was bringing his A game today. He hoped he was. This redhead was an absolute fox.

"And you're a smooth talker. I'm Donna by the way," she offered, and eyed him up and down again. He was fit and he was handsome, even if he wasn't Harvey. She really needed to stop thinking about Harvey.

"Just Donna, no last name included?" He didn't necessarily need one, but he had given his.

"Trust me when I say, by the end of the night, you'll understand that Donna is a name, a gift, and a title all in one. Though, it must be your lucky day if you do indeed make it that far," she laid on thick.

Harvey might have shaken her spirit, but not her confidence. Flirting, she could do. It was fun even, and Mark looked like he could provide some additional entertainment.

"You must be what my horoscope was referring to when it said today would be a lucky one."

She narrowed her eyes at him, doing her thing the best she could with the alcohol. "Not only do I know that you've never read your horoscope a day in your life, but I can tell what kind of lucky you're hoping to get."

Pausing to lean into him and flash a hint of cleavage in the process, she continued after she caught his eyes darting down. If she was going to do this, then she was going to really do it. Three years, aside from a two-week window, was a long time. Harvey certainly couldn't relate.

"And I'll let you in on a little secret, Marky Mark," she continued. "You play your cards right, and I might just let you discover how limited your imagination has been with everything you've been picturing tonight." She finished, lightly tracing the back of his hand that was gripping a whiskey.

The ghost of a touch was enough to make all his nerve endings fire off desperately, and she was more than aware, he could tell. Donna might just be the death of him.

"Should we order the food to go?" he squeaked out, his voice betraying his attempt to remain cool.

March 11, 2001 – Present Day

There was still some lingering trepidation from the night she didn't like to think about when she was out alone at this hour, but not being there when Addy woke up wasn't an option. She felt awful enough as it was just leaving her with Harvey and not checking in.

He was great with their daughter, she wasn't worried about that part. Addy had not been away from her this long before, however. During her internship or those days at school that really dragged on, Donna would at least call to talk to her, and she was still gone for less time than she just had been. It made her worry about her sweet baby's reaction. She already struggled enough with Harvey being in and out.

Tasting blood, she suddenly realized that she had been gnawing on her lip as she entered Harvey's building. She found herself preferring the taste over the remnants of the buffet of booze she had drowned herself in most of yesterday. The dull register of pain that followed was momentarily distracting enough to be welcomed too.

She had never felt like a bad mother until now. She felt like a bad partner towards Harvey as well, even though they weren't together, and even though it was his choice of company that sent her running the other direction.

With Addy there, she needed to be home, his home, but she was in no rush to actually reach his floor. Buying time, she opted to take the stairs, clinging to the railing as she made her slow trek up. Her legs were wobbling with each step and she quickly regretted not just taking the elevator. It made the walk of shame that much more excruciating.

Going out with Peggy and Stephanie was supposed to be a break, and an opportunity to vent if she chose to. It had started that way, but between the drinks and the stinging shock from seeing Scottie that hadn't dissipated yet, she bit off more than she could chew, or at least wanted to.

Now, she was left with a bitter taste in her mouth and a heavy pit in her stomach.

Apparently, she was also left with a large scuff on the leather of her boot, that she discovered when staring down at her feet, as she shuffled closer to his apartment.

Harvey could be a heavy sleeper, but when his mind was restless, he often was too. She hoped it wouldn't be one of those occasions, when she tiptoed in. Time and space were needed to process, and she just wanted to slink into the shower before curling up on the couch, after looking in on Addy.

The way she struggled to unlock the door with the key he had given her wasn't going to help with that. She hadn't used it enough to develop the muscle memory, and the leftover alcohol in her system wasn't doing her any favors. Finally, she swung the damned thing open, and stepped in with a back straightening inhale.

"Donna, where the hell have you been?" came the immediate and seething greeting. She heard him before she had placed him, nearly causing her to trip over her own scuffed boots.

The lights were mostly off, with just a lamp on to cut through the darkness of the apartment. He must have been up stewing, waiting for her to return. She grimaced in anticipation of the fight that was surely coming.

"You show up out of the blue and dump Addy here and then are gone all day and night with no explanation. What kind of mother does that?" he continued, stepping closer to her menacingly, trapping her in front of the door.

There were more emotions simmering beneath his hardened exterior that she didn't want to uncover, but she didn't think she would be fortunate enough to avoid doing so. If it were anyone else, the way he stood over her with his veins bulging could have been frightening, but the idea of Harvey physically hurting her was as preposterous as it got. Emotionally, well that was a different story.

"What did you just…?" she started, too flustered to finish while stepping back in outrage, despite there being little room to navigate.

Her voice grew shrill with her disbelief even though the sentiment was one she was just wrestling with. She wasn't typically the type to leave her daughter on a reactionary whim, and she wasn't proud of her choices. It wasn't all about her, though, Harvey played his part.

"I know you didn't just refer to spending time with your daughter as her being dumped on you. What kind of father does that?" she fired back derisively, after recovering her train of thought.

"Damn it, Donna, you know that's not what I meant. But I told you I was on call this weekend and you weren't even answering your phone. What the hell was I supposed to do if I got called out? Bring our daughter to a murder scene?" he challenged, still just as worked up.

Having a young daughter meant having the presence of mind to monitor his volume, but the quiet in his rage was just as unsettling.

"I would have answered if it was important," she muttered defensively, though it was fair criticism. It was far from her most responsible moment.

A fleeting urge to hug him panged her and she found it odd. He looked ready to strangle her, not that she was worried he would, while she had to suppress the desire to seek comfort in his arms. Arms that she couldn't stop imagining cradling a naked Scottie. That thought was enough to make the urge pass.

He took a deep breath, ready to lay into her, but doing everything he could to control his temper. It never really bothered him before, but he was a father now. Being less angry was worth at least attempting. It was a battle he was currently losing, especially when he stopped to really take her in.

The late, or early, hour was already a major red flag, but she looked, well, her clothes were wrinkled, like they had been balled up on the floor, and her hair was tousled. If that wasn't enough, and it was, the dots were easy to connect, she smelled like sex.

"Donna, where were you?' he asked again, but the anger was replaced by a desperate tone. The pain in his eyes was pulsating and she could see the way he was almost pleading for her to tell him anything but the truth.

"I went out with Peggy and Steph, as if it is any of your business," she answered, shrugging slightly. She attempted to sound casual, but came off more petulantly, even to her own ears. Her body was far too stiff to sell it anyway.

"We have a child together, of course it's my god damn business. Especially when you didn't even tell me you were bringing her," he shot back with a mix of incredulousness and heat, still hovering over her.

"Well, at least one of us is making an effort for you to see her," she said going low, meaning to cut.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You know it tears me apart when I can't be there, but I have Cameron Dennis on my ass, and you're still in Connecticut. I'm trying, Donna." His eyes were wild, but his voice softened. "You know I am."

She felt a little guilty after the last part. The vulnerability in his voice, the defeat that crept in, it got to her. If push came to shove, she could admit fault in this. She was aware that she was lashing out now because she was hurt, and she was angry. At him, at herself, there was enough to go around. Maybe it was more on her than anyone, since she had insisted on still waiting. It didn't make a difference with how she was feeling, though.

"It isn't easy for me either," she almost whispered and it finally hit her that they had been standing in the foyer the whole time.

Making her way to the couch he followed her, though after she slumped down ungraciously, he took the La-Z-Boy instead of his usual seat next to her.

She still hadn't told him about everything with Addy, how challenging his less consistent presence has been for her, for them both really. Sometimes it felt like it was nightly that she would scream for her daddy. Sleep was becoming a challenge again. If Donna took her anywhere without remembering to bring the stuffed elephant that had been her first gift from Harvey, it was a nonstop fit until she was reunited with it. Every time she had to tell her that daddy wouldn't make it only added to the battle. Things had been a bit better lately, but it didn't erase several months of what they had gone through.

"Did you meet up with Thomas," he asked rigidly, bracing for her answer.

If he recalled correctly, he did live in New York, but he had believed Donna when she said she wasn't interested. Of course, he had thought Donna was only interested in him, so maybe he couldn't trust his own assessment.

"No, I didn't meet up with Thomas," she scoffed at him, rolling her eyes.

It was clear that she didn't appreciate the question, but even though he had just been questioning his own judgment, he believed her again. That didn't solve the mystery, however.

"A different asshole then," he stated, staring into her eyes intensely, daring her to lie this time.

"I never asked you questions, you know," she said in return, holding the gaze without blinking.

"I never threw it in your face," he growled back, his volume increasing with the returning ire.

She wasn't really, he knew, but it was supposed to be him god damn it. They were meant to be together, and he thought she was just afraid like he had been, and that they were working towards it. He didn't think she was out there hopping on another dick.

If Addy wasn't in the next room sleeping, he would have put his fist through the wall.

She suppressed the urge to scream at him about Scottie, to yell at him for being so bothered by her choices while being perfectly fine with screwing his ex. Calling him out on it might make her cry, however, and that was the last thing she wanted to do in front of him. He would be sweet if she broke down. He could never stay mad when he saw her tears, but she wasn't ready to relinquish the bitter spite and the rest of her corrosive emotions. She didn't want his comfort anymore.

"What the fuck is your problem?" she demanded sharply, clenching her fists. "You do whatever you want, you always have, but the second I do something for me it means I'm throwing it in your face?"

She saw the guilt flicker in his eyes before he steeled them again.

"It might surprise you to you how often I don't do what I want, Donna," he eventually said, his voice raw.

She was what he wanted, and if he acted on just his selfish interests, he would have turned around and taken it all back seconds after ending things with her years ago. He would have convinced her to move with him, and he would have kept her by his side.

"Harvey, I know it is not always easy playing house on weekends then returning to our separate lives. Which is why I never dug into your business or asked you for anything different. But we all have needs, and you've always addressed yours. I never said a word and I never judged you, so please, just… just do the same for me."

It was true, when she introduced the idea of a rule, it came with no other expectations or restrictions. She never gave him shit or interfered. He couldn't say the same, not when he crashed the Yale event because of Thomas. She let it slide, however, and she wasn't bothered, but then they slept together. Everything had changed, and then Scottie reappeared.

How he managed not to explode out of his seat he couldn't say, but he briefly closed his eyes instead. His head throbbed from how tightly he was clenching his jaw. She was supposed to come to him when she was ready for more. The rule was hanging on by the flimsiest of threads, it was basically nonexistent. If she would have been ready for him sooner, he wouldn't have even looked at another woman, but now... how could she want another man?

He didn't understand how it had fallen apart. He couldn't process how she could have climbed into his lap and ridden him until he was tasting colors and seeing sounds, and then just moved on like it was nothing. It was everything being with her again, everything, and then she was just done? What the fuck happened?

"So what, you seeing him then? You going to date this prick, or just fuck whatever this loser's name is?" he demanded.

"Mark Meadows," she instinctively replied, then immediately scolded herself. Providing a name would likely do little to temper his jealousy. "And I don't know, Harvey. I haven't figured it all out," she added weakly with a shake of her head and a newfound weariness. "But right now, I just want to take a shower and go to sleep."

She didn't wait for a reply as she made her way to the bathroom, but she could feel the tension radiating off him as she passed by. Hopefully, by the time she was done scrubbing away as much of the night as she could, he would have retreated to his room. Sharing a bed with him had become second nature when they had an excuse to. Normally, being at his apartment with two rooms and one belonging to Addy was just that. It wouldn't feel right to jump in the same night she had just been in another man's. The words they had exchanged cemented that.

He probably hasn't changed the sheets since Scottie anyway.

Thankfully, he was gone when she reemerged and rifled through her bag for something comfortable to wear. When she flopped back down onto his couch, she noticed that it smelled like perfume. The thought that it could only be Scottie's taunted her.

Is this where they fucked?

With Harvey either sleeping or sulking in his room, she was free to let her tears fall. She'd made a mess of everything, or perhaps they both did, but sleeping with Mark hadn't made her feel any better.

He was sweet, and charming, though maybe she sensed a touch of insecurity. Had she met him first, maybe he would have been someone she would have considered dating. They had clicked, and he certainly wasn't bad in bed, but the entire time she couldn't stop thinking about Harvey. Pursuing something with Mark wouldn't lead to anything. Even if her heart was more available, he didn't strike her as someone confident enough to handle a person like Harvey being tied to her permanently. She wasn't ready to be tied to anyone else anyway.

When she woke up, she would still give him the presents they had brought and grit her way through the day. Eventually, they should talk, but not yet, and not in the morning.

She slept, if she could call it that, on the floor that night and was up before Harvey or Addy.

April 03, 2001 – Present Day

Harvey still couldn't believe it, or fully understand what the hell happened a few weeks ago. When he had opened his door, he expected it to be Scottie having forgotten something. Donna being there had surprised him, and her leaving right away had confused him.

Then, everything with Mark Pastures or whatever… he still couldn't bear to think about. Things had been strained. He cancelled the first weekend after, without truly having to, but immediately felt awful about it. No matter what was going on between Donna and him, Addy should never suffer for it.

Last weekend he visited, and seeing his daughter was some relief, but Donna was more distant than she'd ever been. He'd been short and standoffish himself, to the point that even he could recognize it. They needed to fix things, but it was difficult to when he was avoiding the elephant in the room.

Still, they needed to bite the bullet and soon. He didn't want things to continue the way they were, and he certainly didn't want to standby while everything disintegrated in front of him. Fixing things wasn't his strong suit, he usually just detached and moved on, but Donna was different. He couldn't lose her before he really even had her again. He couldn't lose her ever.

That time had to come, but it wasn't now. Cameron had asked him to step in and handle a motion on a big case. Without the confession that the cops had extracted during questionable circumstances, a murderer might walk. He had to be at the courthouse shortly to argue against suppressing it.

The alert from a missed call startled him. It worried him when he saw Donna's name on the screen.

…..

Her mom was amazing with Addy. Without her, Donna could never have done what she was doing now. Every class, every time she had to stay late on campus, her mom always took care of her granddaughter without complaint.

She had braved every storm and tantrum, and was incredible through the difficult stretch of Addy wanting her daddy more. Her mother rarely called her while at school, and when she did, she always seemed to time it with breaks.

When Donna's phone vibrated in the middle of class, she knew in her gut something was wrong.

Clara had been calm when her daughter raced through the door. Donna had tried to be, but seeing her baby covered in a rash, crying, and enduring a fever that had spiked to over 103 degrees Fahrenheit, made her borderline hysterical.

Her mother remaining cool had an added benefit. Donna didn't have to wait for a cab to make it to the hospital. She had driven to school, and then she had driven back home after she had already become quite worked up. Now, having the full story and the accompanying imagery, she didn't trust herself to make it there safely.

As soon as she strapped Addy in, all she could think about was Harvey. She needed to call him; she needed him there. Addy would be comforted, and he deserved to know what was going on, but it wasn't only about them. She was panicking, and she just needed him.

The night that she didn't like to think about flashed through her mind as she left a rambling message for him. It was the last time, or the only time, she could remember feeling this helpless before.

March 11, 1997

A bruised wrist, a sprained ankle and a mild concussion was what the doctor had told her. He would send the nurse in soon with an ace bandage, a prescription, and the papers to discharge her, since her workup was complete.

She could already see the reddish outline of his fingers forming on he arm where he had gripped her hard, pulling her towards him while reaching for her purse strap with his other hand.

As she had scrambled to grab the pepper spray from her purse, it had all felt like a jinx. She had never been in a situation to need it before, but just days after buying a canister, she was already frantically fumbling for it. Maybe she should have seen it as fortuitous that she had purchased it in time.

Maybe those thoughts shouldn't have been crossing her mind at such a time, just what she should have been doing with it. Then, finally she had located the pepper spray, clutched it in her hand, but with her adrenaline and the unfamiliarity, her fingers had struggled with the dexterity needed to activate it.

Just as she had finally gotten the stream going, spraying it right into his face, one that he had been brazen enough to leave uncovered, her strap gave. The sudden lack of resistance had sent her tumbling backward. The heels she was wearing had done her no favors as her ankle almost snapped and a throbbing pain had shot through it. Her head had cracked back into something hard, and then everything went blurry.

The sound of metal clanging on concrete had snapped her head up from where she was cowering, nursing her ankle, and trying to shake out the cobwebs. Her eyes had landed then on what had made the sound, what had fallen out of his waistband or pocket. She had blanched at the thought of under what circumstance he may have used it, before her mind retreated to a state that was robotic, analytic, out of body.

A Smith and Wesson snubnosed revolver had laid there, too far away to reach for. It wasn't used in her shooting competitions, but she could still easily identify it from her days spent training at the range. She had no way to tell, but she could only assume it was loaded, six rounds in the cylinder.

The burning sensation from the pepper spray had caused him to scream, or at least the surprise of it had. After a while, she had processed that she had been shouting too, for help. He clawed at his face for a moment more, before taking off running, leaving her purse behind, but grabbing the gun.

Everything kept cycling through her mind now at the hospital, and at first it was like watching a movie. It felt like it was someone else on the ground trying to back further away, eyes wide with fear, but eventually her emotions set in too.

She was still shaking and terrified when she heard Harvey's frantic voice demanding to be led to her. Apparently, he had received his answer because the next thing she saw was him pulling back the curtain.

"Donna," he choked out, before closing the distance. "No one would tell me what happened. I was-" he started explaining but stopped when he saw the wrist she was gently massaging. There were fucking fingerprints on her.

The panic he was feeling immediately exploded into anger. First with himself for being in the boxing ring and not immediately seeing her page, but more importantly at whoever the fuck had done that to her.

She saw the rage brewing and was afraid that recounting what happened would only set things on fire, but she had to tell him, and needed him to hear it. She filled him in, in the best way she could, and his emotions were fully on display the entire time. When she mentioned the gun, the color drained from his face, but he let her finish talking.

He was twitching, desperate to hold her, but wary of her injuries. They weren't bad enough for her to worry, but she knew she must have looked so fragile to him.

"Do you mind helping me get dressed," she requested softly. "My balance and my coordination are a little hampered at the moment."

She had been wearing a skirt that she probably could have managed, but she wanted to give him a chance to feel helpful, since he was clearly still reeling.

He jumped into motion quickly, dropping down to loop her skirt over her feet, but his words came slower. "Donna, I am so sorry I wasn't there to protect you and that I wasn't here sooner." His guilt was the only thing that could rival his anger.

"Harvey, it's not your fault. None of this is. It was bound to happen anyway, it's basically a rite of passage in the city," she joked, but without much mirth, trying to keep it light to avoid breaking down again.

She hadn't cried yet, though her eyes might suggest something different. The tears would likely come, but she didn't want it to be now, when he was already spiraling. He pulled her skirt up, but didn't make it to helping her with her gown before he wrapped her up and was clinging to her. His face was buried in her neck when she heard him say the next part.

"Donna, I'm going to kill him," he announced flatly, but was still rippling with fury.

"You will do no such thing," she ordered firmly, using her good arm to rub his back with a tenderness that didn't match her tone.

It wasn't that she took him literally, but she did think he would go to the ends of the earth to track him down. If he found him, Harvey would definitely commit felonies. She wouldn't let him put himself at risk, and she wouldn't let him jeopardize his future. As deserved as she found it too, the law disagreed, and he didn't yet have the societal standing to circumvent the consequences.

"You can't expect me to know that some piece of shit hurt you and do nothing about it," he protested, clearly displeased with her edict.

"What you can do about it is help me file a police report and take me home and not let go of me," she instructed, still battling to hold it together.

"Look at your wrist or your ankle, Donna. For fucking sake, you have a concussion. How many people get mugged without the police doing a god damn thing about it? He attacked you and I-"

"Harvey, listen to me," she interjected. "It's not worth it. I know you would stop at nothing to protect me, but right now all I need is just you here with me." She massaged his scalp gently, hoping it would help calm him.

"He had a gun," he added weakly, trembling slightly from what that could have meant.

"I know, Harvey, but I am here. I am okay," she reassured him, herself as well.

He wanted to keep insisting, or maybe make his own plan that he didn't have to share, but when he kissed her neck then took in her face, he knew better than to make this about him. Every instinct he had, every fiber in his being wanted to torture the subhuman who could do this to Donna, but this was her trauma and her pain, and he had to put her recovery over his desire for revenge.

So, he held her, and he didn't let go.

Present Day

Donna was curled up in a chair, watching her daughter sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about Harvey once again being the one person who could keep her sane, when she noticed the door being flung open.

When Harvey came storming in, he looked just as terrified as she had been feeling. It was reminiscent of the time she was just recalling. Back then, he had walked in with no idea of the situation. She wasn't sure he had much of one now, based on the incoherence of her voicemail. The incoherence of what she remembered of it, anyway. She had been an utter mess when she had called, then talking to the doctor had reduced her anxiety, but only just slightly. They were still running tests now, and her brain was running through a list of all the horrible diseases it could be.

The speed in which Donna propelled herself off the chair and into Harvey's arms would have made Flo-Jo proud. The dam broke when she felt him pull her tighter, and she quietly sobbed into his chest. She didn't want to wake Addy up from her crying and risk that it might scare her.

"Hey, it's going to be okay," he murmured into her hair after dusting her forehead with a couple kisses.

Harvey couldn't be sure of that. Her message was mostly an unintelligible jumble of noises that resembled words. Taking Addy to the hospital was the extent of what he had made out, but he still felt compelled to comfort her. When he glanced over Donna's shoulder and saw Addy in her bed for the first time, hooked up to an IV, he clenched involuntarily, gripping Donna harder than he wanted to in the process.

She shifted back and looked at him, scanning his face. He had been doing his best to soothe her, but the need for more information was reverberating within him. Grabbing his hand, unwilling to sever their connection, she led him back to her chair. It was one of those wide ones that could fit them both, but she was halfway on his lap anyway.

It was the closest they'd been in months, since things had been icier lately. Even before it had become strained, their physicality had taken a step back. There was just no way they could have gone from Christmas to not sleeping together again otherwise. None of it crossed his mind as he waited for her to fill him in, however.

"They haven't diagnosed her yet, but the doctor said it shouldn't take long. She told me not to worry, that fevers and rashes are common for kids, but how can I be calm, Harvey? She's on a freaking IV for dehydration because I let it get that bad," she choked out, swimming in guilt.

Harvey kissed her forehead again and she resumed explaining. "What if it's meningitis and I waited too long? She's had a sore throat and that's not usually a symptom, but she threw up a couple times What if her throat was just sore from that? I shouldn't have waited for her fever to get so high, what the hell was I thinking. I-"

"Shhh, Donna, breathe. Like the doctor said, let's not worry unless we have to. You're an incredible mother, don't doubt that for a second. None of this is on you, sweetheart, and it's going to be okay," he said gently, interrupting her spiral.

He was doing everything he could to remain strong for Donna, but he was freaking out internally. It was destroying him to see his daughter in the hospital bed like that.

"Thank you for coming, Harvey," she said snuggling into him further. "I'd be losing my mind even more if you weren't here."

It's not that she thought he wouldn't come, she knew he would for something this important, but she still needed to express how critical it was to have him there.

"Of course, Donna, there is nowhere else I would be. I know this year hasn't been the best example of that, but I'm going to do better. I am always going to be here for you both, okay?" he vowed, and hoped she believed him.

With the extra touches, he wasn't attempting to take advantage of her emotions or the situation. He wasn't even aware, not really, he just needed her, to ground him too.

"Daddy?"

They both snapped their heads up when they heard their daughter's sweet, but currently raspy voice. Donna slid all the way off his lap and got up, moving next to Addy's bed with Harvey right beside her.

"Hey, baby. How are you feeling?" Harvey asked immediately, hating how small she looked.

"My throat hurts," she croaked out while squirming slightly.

"I am so sorry, sweetness. Maybe after the nice doctor comes back, we can get you a popsicle or something," Donna said softly, while brushing Addy's hair off her forehead.

She watched as she hug her stuffed elephant tightly, and Donna thanked the universe that she had the mental capacity to remember to grab it during her freak out.

"Okay, mommy," Addy said, starting to drift off again, but not quite going under. "I knew daddy would come."

"There's my little smarty pants. Daddy has to be here to make sure to spoil you properly when you're not feeling well," he responded, after a wave of warmth spread in him from his daughter's faith.

"Can we watch P.J. Sparkles?" she requested before yawning and drifting further.

"I'll tell you what, when we get home, we will have a pajama party and cuddle on the couch. We'll watch whatever you want. How does that sound?"

Sleep had gotten to her before Harvey got an answer, but he was relieved she was resting more. The doctor knocked shortly after, then entered the room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Specter," the doctor opened with, and neither bothered to correct her. "I'm sorry for the wait. I know how difficult it can be for parents and their little ones, but the good news is we have a diagnosis."

Donna was starting to allow relief to creep in. It was good to know that they weren't going to have a medical mystery on their hands, and Dr. Withers looked far too relaxed to be on the verge of delivering terrible news.

"The test came back positive for Group A Streptococcus meaning she likely had a case of strep throat that developed into scarlet fever. Trust me when I say that in today's day and age, it's not as scary as it sounds," Dr. Withers explained, preferring to be matter of fact in her delivery.

"I have a script here for antibiotics. Pair that with some rest, fluids, and some good old-fashioned TLC for your adorable girl, and she'll be bouncing around the house again before you know it," she added, with a little more feeling. "You'll want to keep her away from other people, especially kids, until at least 24 hours after the fever breaks. I like to always suggest erring on the side of caution and waiting longer if you can, though."

The doctor jotted down some notes on her clipboard, while she gave them a chance to process what she had told them so far. When they didn't jump in with questions, she continued informing them.

"Scarlet fever is more common in kids a little older than Addy, so we'll want to monitor her and make sure that she is responding to the antibiotics. I really don't foresee any issues with that, so don't let that part intimidate you."

After she explained a few more things to the young parents, she fielded a couple questions and left the room.

They had to wait a little while longer until Addy was done with the IV, and then they would be able to take her home, after a quick stop at the pharmacy.

Harvey had been considering work and his plans for the week, but ultimately, he knew that he couldn't leave. He was needed there, and his cases would just have to wait. The ones with scheduled proceedings would need to be covered by other ADAs. They would understand. He didn't give a fuck if they didn't.

"I'm going to stay with you the rest of the week, or however long it takes until Addy is back to normal," he declared, his arm around Donna's shoulder.

"That would great, Harvey, but are you sure you can miss work? I noticed that your phone has been vibrating nonstop," she asked genuinely, her arms were hooked around his waist.

She wanted him to stay more than she let on, but she knew how his work could be. He had come for the most important part at least.

"I'm staying. Cameron Dennis can either accept it, or he can go fuck himself."

He had already missed a few calls from the man, and he knew he wasn't going to be happy about the motion that Harvey had failed to argue against to be here. He would have to understand, and hopefully he had at least listened to Harvey's voicemail early enough to send another ADA in his place. It might not even matter if did or didn't, as it was too last minute for one of his coworkers to have been able to familiarize him or herself with the case. Once they were settled back at Donna's, he would call and get a sense of where he stood with his boss.

Donna, who was still wrapped up in him, just nodded into his chest. She realized suddenly that her mom hadn't returned to the room. She had stepped out for some cafeteria food and coffee, but it shouldn't have kept her away for so long. Donna knew that meant her mom had seen Harvey arrive, and had decided to give them some privacy.

She needed to call her mom and tell her to come back now, and to explain to her what the doctor had said.

Everything was going to be okay.

May 12, 2001 – Present Day

Going to the batting cages instead of accepting Cameron's lunch invite had been a choice. Harvey preferred to work his way back in his good graces, but he wasn't about to go as far as kissing his ass. He had never really been the type to bend the knee and wouldn't now, even after the whole thing with Addy.

Tearing the cover off some baseballs had long been something that helped reset his mind. Maybe as far back as high school, he was able to recognize the therapeutic qualities a session offered him, not that he ever really applied those types of labels.

As he got older, he started to gravitate more towards the boxing ring to work through things. When he was in pain, he was more prone to want to dish it out, not that he was reflective enough to think in those terms either. For whatever reason, today he felt an urgency to hit fastballs instead of faces, and he wasn't going to ignore it just to pacify Cameron Dennis.

It was the DA's office that was driving him to be there after all. Work, and missing his daughter was getting to him. It definitely wasn't Donna and the fact that they had slept together, but not stayed together. Everything with her… was fine.

Thump.

The sound of the ball hitting the tarped backstop wasn't something he was accustomed to hearing. Harvey Specter did not miss. He must have needed this more than he even realized if his hand eye coordination was so compromised.

Because of work and because of Addy, those were the only reasons. If he continued to think it, he might eventually start to believe it. His newest coping mechanism was really his first, downplaying or ignoring.

Everything with Donna was fine. The thing with Donna and Mark was also… fine. He wasn't still thinking about it. He wasn't still wondering why she would even go out, go looking, after the time they shared.

Thump.

Oh for fuck's sake.

He missed again. Hitting the ball was what made it therapeutic. He needed to focus, really crush it with his next swing. Returning to work as sweaty as he would, it was way too hot for the outdoor cage he had foolishly chosen, would be adding insult to injury if he didn't actually blow off any steam.

He had more cases than he had time for. There were too many weekends he missed with his daughter because of it. Donna was fine. She could have her fun, just like he did. She as much herself.

It doesn't bother me.

Thump.

Fuck.

I am a fucking hypocrite.

Having sex with other women didn't mean anything to him, especially after Scottie. Donna having sex with other men, and after he finally got to have her again, meant everything.

Thwack.

About damn time.

It was true. When Donna established her rule, she made sure to let him know it didn't come with a chastity belt for him. Living their lives had been the terminology she had chosen, and she had followed through by never holding it against him. Scottie had been someone Donna was already aware of since before Addy was even born, and she had only ever been respectful, supportive even. He couldn't say the same.

I don't want another man to touch her.

Thwack.

After Scottie, he didn't exactly join a monastery. He wasn't sure if Donna knew about his extracurriculars, but she was Donna. She probably remembered their names better than he did.

Thwack.

He'd never been as gracious as she was.

Thwack.

The moment he learned about Thomas, he was already plotting ways to mark his territory. Thomas wasn't right for Donna, if he had any say in the matter. Not that he would ever think another man was.

With Thomas, it was only fair that he had her back. He had Addy to think about as well, and what kind of men would be in her life. Even if it wasn't needed in the end, he was just protecting the mother of his child. He didn't overstep any boundaries.

Thump.

Okay, so it wasn't fair. Despite everything, she had been thinking about him. She always did, and he didn't always return the favor. He had been selfish about the whole thing.

Thwack.

He had inserted himself, even when she was just doing her dad a favor. She didn't insert herself with Scottie, or any study session. It really wasn't fair to Donna. It should have been her choice to make.

Thwack.

He wouldn't make the mistake again; he could be supportive if she was still seeing Mark or someone in the future. If she was still seeing him, he thought she would have mentioned it by now, even if it was just because of Addy. He never did ask, but if she was, he would be an adult about it and handle her being in a relationship.

Thump.

I want her. Never anyone else.

Thwack.

The pitching machine timed out, but it was okay. Not opting to re-up, he made his way to the bat return instead. He knew now. Coming here had never been about work, only Donna, and he understood.

It was almost graduation, and she wouldn't be in law school anymore. They could talk about everything then. Maybe she had panicked, or just needed to see the rule through to the end. He understood fear, and he could work with that. Mark Fields, or whatever the hell his name was, didn't have to matter. If it was just the rule, it would be okay.

There was one thing still plaguing him, however. When she told him that she wanted to work with him at the firm, all he had thought about at the time was the bylaws. Her going to Yale instead of Harvard mattered. If anyone could find a way around the requirement, it would be Donna, so he hadn't thought about it much beyond that.

The concern he was trying to process his way through now, was that Donna did have that other rule. The law school one was at least temporary, but the one that she had told him about before seemed more indefinite, if not permanent. Maybe it was why she pulled away after they were together again.

He thought back to that night she first mentioned it.

January 25, 1997

"You know, I wasn't sure you were coming." Donna said to Harvey from her seat in the dressing room, not looking up from her mirror. She didn't even have to see him walk in to know it was him.

The venue wasn't large enough to have individual rooms, but the cast was used to friends and family dropping in and had reserved a section in the back for those who needed more privacy. Donna had already removed her costume and was busy working on the accessories.

Harvey noticed that the flowers he had brought her before the show started were featured prominently on the counter at her station. She couldn't still be too mad, he reasoned, or maybe hoped. There wasn't time to talk when he gave them to her, as he had to rush to the show after a late arriving influx of mail and packages had kept him at work past the usual time.

"You didn't know that I would never miss your closing night? I thought you knew everything," he said smugly, while leaning over to rest his palms on the edge of the counter next to her.

She caught a glimpse of him and rolled her eyes at the look on his face, but internally, her heart skipped a beat from his nearness. Clearly, he had found the time to get a haircut, maybe on his lunchbreak. He had managed to look even better than usual, and she wasn't really sure how it was possible. She might have told him as much, if she still didn't want to watch him sweat a little longer.

"I do know everything, which includes knowing that you're a stubborn ass," she lightly chided instead, while denying him any further eye contact.

"And here I thought my ass was one of my better qualities. Although, when you have so many great ones, can you really single any out?" he responded while smirking and cocking his head to the side.

This was okay, this was comfortable for him. Her feathers might still be a little ruffled, but he wasn't worried anymore. Screwing up was something he expected of himself, he had never been a relationship guy before, and he didn't always know how to assess how bad it was. There were times when they argued that she would laugh it off ten minutes later, not knowing he spent all 600 seconds of it terrified she would leave him.

That was something he knew he couldn't handle, yet he didn't really think about what that meant. This was good, she was teasing. She wasn't thinking about ending things.

"Stubborn isn't the only word that fits before ass, you know. There's cocky, arrogant, conceded…" She counted with her fingers as she listed the less than flattering traits, before Harvey cut in, still smirking.

"Bad, sexy, suave…"

Using his fingers, he mimicked her gesture until he noticed her start to reach for the back of her necklace. Swiftly, he made better use of his digits, unclasping the costume jewelry for her. When she didn't object to the faint brushing of his skin on hers, he lowered his head to kiss her. It was chaste enough not to attract any attention, since they weren't alone in the room, but there was still a good amount of heat behind it. She was entirely irresistible, he'd always found her so, but seeing her on stage ignited something in him.

"You killed it tonight by the way," he told her softly.

It was her passion that lit the flames, but her talent also made him proud. Still testing the waters and his luck, he brought his hands back up, this time to her shoulders, beginning to massage them. Any excuse to touch her he would take, but he had noticed some stiffness and tension.

"Just tonight? And here I thought my magnificence knows no bounds," she managed to retort, lost in the magic of his hands. No one seemed to be paying attention to the two of them, but the moan she let out when he really worked her through a knot was loud enough to change that. The thought mortified her.

"Let me rephase. You killed it tonight, Donna, as was to be expected because your brilliance is limitless and constant," he followed jokingly.

His hands never stilled, despite her volume, not seeming to care about or notice the potentially increasing audience. He always took note of her reactions.

"That version was so much better."

He smiled and kissed the back of her neck next, because it was safer than her lips. The massage was doing something for him as well. They had to be able to make it home, or at the very least somewhere less public, for what he had in store for her. Just spending the night apart felt like a lifetime, and he wanted to make up for the hours they lost.

"Let's just pretend that was the only version," he suggested, as he finally stopped his ministrations. "I would say I earned the pass by helping you memorize your lines, but I think I might have traded in my get out of jail free card last night."

She really was incredible up there, even if he infused his words with humor. Ever since the first moment he saw her on a stage, he saw a fire in her eyes. He never could tear his away.

"You're going to give me flashbacks to our never-ending game of Monopoly with that phrasing," she responded with a mock shudder, already missing the feeling of his touch.

"At least you won. Try having those memories while being on the losing end," he countered with an exaggerated grumble.

She cracked a smile at that. It felt good to banter with him again. Last night had been tough on her, she hated it when they fought.

"Speaking of 'ends'," he started, pulling her out of her thoughts and standing up straighter. "You left another word off your list," he said, then paused just long enough to see the flash of recognition in her eyes. "Sorry ass," he provided, then furrowed his eyebrows at himself for a beat before rambling on. "I mean I am sorry, not that I am a sorry ass, which I realize sounds like I am saying I am a loser, but I am trying to -"

The fact that he was attempting to apologize was enough for her, even if he had a good amount of work to do on his delivery. She refused to spend another night without him, though that wasn't her only motivation. Stepping in, she saved him from floundering further.

"I know, and for the record, I forgive you. And I suppose I'm sorry too." She rubbed his forearm after she turned towards him more, fully relinquishing her, at this point, faux grudge.

"Oh, you suppose, do you? I thought I was the one who struggled with the word." He sassed, canting his head.

"I am great at apologizing. It just so happens that I prefer to mean it, and I am only halfway there in this case. You really were being an ass."

Rising from her seat, she was planning on officially ending the fight that she was already over with a hug, but decided to make sure he was done talking first. Physical contact could derail their thoughts at times, and she wanted to hear him out fully.

"I was, and I fully admit it," he responded with a bit of an amused grin.

Her choice of words didn't bother him, he knew there was no real spite behind them. With the way she scrunched up her face while delivering them, he couldn't hide his reaction if he tried. It was short lived, however. As easy as it would have been to glaze over everything, end the conversation by distracting her with his charm or his lips, he found himself in the unfamiliar territory of wanting to explain.

With a deep breath and a nearly imperceptible twitching of his fingers, he told her the rest.

"My dad had a gig and I guess I didn't expect my mom to be there. I just…I fucking hate watching them together. My dad has no idea what she did, and she acts like she's this perfect wife. If I would have known she was going to be there, I never would have gone."

Donna watched the way his jaw tensed and could almost hear the way he was grinding his teeth as he mentioned his mother. A part of loving Harvey meant learning all his tells. There was a subtleness behind his emotions at times, at least the ones not rooted in anger, and he wouldn't always share them. Any conversation involving Lily tended to fall on the more apparent side, but she paid attention to the smallest signs anyway. She did with anyone really, often without trying, but with Harvey it was different, more important.

There were so many things that he made look easy. He was just built like that, but this was the exception. She could tell very early on in their relationship that him shutting down was never really about her. If anything, she was why he ever even tried to take off the mask, but it was always a battle for him. He carried so much pain and struggled so much with trust.

She wanted to make it easier for him. She wanted him to feel relief, not regret, when he confided in her. The occasions when he did respond with anger, or less patience than she would have liked to receive, she gave forgiveness quickly.

She loved him through his flaws, and trusted that when push came to shove, he would always protect her, and he would always make it right in the end. In the grand scheme of things, their fight the night before was relatively tame. He had been short, and said some things she knew he didn't mean, but none of it truly crossed a line. Nothing he said was with the sole intent of hurting her.

By the time morning had rolled around, she had already gotten over it, but his apology was still welcomed. Admittedly, she had exchanged some less than pleasant words herself. She didn't want to hold the argument against him, she just wanted to hold him.

"Come here," he requested, apparently on the same wavelength, though there wasn't much distance to close. Latching onto her waist, he pulled her in. "I took it out on you, and I shouldn't have said the things I did."

"And I shouldn't have let you draw me into the fight when I knew something was wrong. I'm glad you're telling me now, Harvey. I wish I could have been at the show with you."

The hands that were on her hips had shifted to her lower back, rubbing tight circles. His motions stalled after her words, and she could feel the way his body hardened briefly.

"She doesn't deserve to meet you."

The way her heart panged for him and his relationship with his mother slowed her ability to formulate the right response. She hadn't made it beyond squeezing him tighter when he was suddenly separating from her.

Her look must have been that of surprise, or maybe confusion, because an explanation followed without prompting.

"The plan was to take you out to celebrate tonight, but I wasn't sure if you were still mad at me," he confessed sheepishly. "I am going to step out and make a quick reservation while you finish up in here, okay?"

Harvey didn't wait for an answer and instead bent down slightly to leave a kiss on her cheek before exiting.

When he returned, the first thing that caught his eye was that Donna wasn't alone. One of her castmates was perched on the counter next to her and was entirely too close and a little too friendly for Harvey's liking.

Jealous wasn't the term he would pick. He certainly wasn't insecure about the fact that Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome had his hand on Donna's shoulder, or that he was invading her space like he had a right to.

Harvey knew Donna was his. He knew she was going out and then home with him tonight, but he wasn't sure if the dickface in front of him did. The bloke seemed a little too familiar, but he would give him credit for one thing. It didn't take him long to take a hint and take a hike after Harvey shot him a glare.

"What's his deal," he questioned with a little more of a tone than he intended, once the prick with the wandering hands was out of earshot.

She raised an eyebrow. "What are you really asking, Harvey?"

"Did you guys used to be a thing or something?" he asked in response, censoring his question a bit. "I could see that," he finished, not waiting for her answer as if it would make him sound more nonchalant.

"What?" she exclaimed, genuinely surprised by his assumption. "Jeremy is just… that's just how he is. Don't read anything into it, Harvey," she informed him, scanning to see if he was appeased. She explained further when his face proved he was still dubious about the whole thing. "He's an affectionate guy, but I am pretty sure Tiffany is getting the bulk of his affections, if you know what I mean."

"So, you guys never… before Tonya or whatever," he clarified, still attempting to downplay his reaction.

"You really are the worst at remembering names. I literally just said it. Although I did think that was reserved for women you've slept with." If she rolled her eyes anymore, they might get stuck like that.

"I always remember your name, Debbie. You see, that's funny because your name is Donna," he responded, and he knew that it would annoy her.

He wasn't great with names, but he saw no reason to waste the gray matter on people who he wouldn't see again.

"You can deflect all you want, but you're still so obviously jealous, buster," she said, pointing a finger at him and not letting him distract her with his attempt at humor.

"I'm deflecting?" he questioned, bringing his hand to his chest. "This isn't you avoiding the question, is it?"

"No, Harvey, I'm not. Jeremy and I never had a thing, in fact I kind of have a rule about it," she stated bluntly, deciding to ease his mind. "And would it really matter if we did?" It wasn't like his history wasn't more robust than hers.

"What do you mean?" he asked, focusing on the first part.

"I don't date men that I work with, and because you're you, I'll clarify that to mean I don't sleep with guys that I work with. It just gets too messy and I neither want to deal with the fail out after, or all the chatter that follows women, but never the men," she spelled out, while linking their hands, ready to leave.

"Thank god we don't work together then, one of us would have to quit or get fired."

Present Day

Working with her was something that only sounded right to him. He couldn't shake the feeling that he needed her by his side to be the best version of himself, and he didn't see any reason why that shouldn't start with the DA's office. With her graduating from Yale in short order, she should be a shoe-in. He'd put in a good word if he needed to, but most prosecutors there had gone to state schools, not Ivy League ones.

Being his co-counsel wasn't the extent of what he hoped for, he wanted everything with her. If he had to choose, if she was still insistent on separating her romantic life from her professional one, he would choose the former without a second thought. Having both sounded so much better.

It would help mitigate his fears about not finding the right balance between his career and family if he could spend his days with her and then go home every evening to their daughter, together. She would help him hold himself accountable, and not get lost during his accent to the top. She was his compass already, and he could see it being even more true in a legal world filled with gray. He just needed her to be on board, and not to settle for the latter.

With Cameron Dennis's reaction to him missing the hearing, Donna had insisted he didn't have to come for her graduation. They have had no shortage of weird moments since the Mark thing, but he knew it wasn't that, she was just thinking about him and work. Things had improved after their scare with Addy anyway.

Despite her selflessness, he wasn't going to miss it. Aside from the support he would always want to give her, he did have an extra motive in mind. He had just worked through the last of what he needed to. Fear, lack of communication, his issues with his mother, he wasn't going to let any of it stay in the way anymore.

She was finishing law school. Once she was handed her diploma and flipped her tassel to the other side of her cap, the rule was forever over.

He had finally come to his senses, and he wasn't waiting any longer to tell her how he felt.