My family seems to have a knack for keeping secrets. Nik never telling us he killed our mother, Elijah keeping secret that he daggered me all those years ago, Rebekah with her whole Marcel affair and many other affairs in the past that threatened our family's safety. Finn and my mother with their plan to kill our entire family, Kol with...well, Kol sometimes keeps secrets just for the fun of it and no real cause.
I am not innocent either. I thought I was. I never tried to keep secrets from my family that could hurt them or make them not trust me. That was before I learned about my immortality.
The thought of telling my family eats me alive, and it keeps me up at night. My thought process was that after the baby is born, the family will have someone else to keep them in check. But with how things have been going lately, it seems like that baby may cause more problems than fix them. Not to even mention the amount of people who may know about that child now.
Under the circumstances this baby is safely born, what will happen to that child? Elijah is apparently convinced that Niklaus is turning that child into a hybrid breeding machine, my sister is loosing faith in my brother's intentions as well, and planning who knows what.
Niklaus is more paranoid than ever and my family is more split than ever. I can't just accept my fate, not yet. I need to figure this out.
"So, let me get this straight. You want me to look the other way, while you try to contact your dead mother, who you have repeatedly said you hated, so she can help you with this problem you will not tell me about, to help your family, who also do not know about this so said problem." Davina asks, as I set up a circle of candles on her floor.
"Yes." I place down the last candle, feeling a sense of judgement behind me.
"Uh huh, and disregarding the thousands of questions I have for a moment...why don't you do the spell at your house?" I look around the room for some cushions to make it comfortable.
"Well, for one, I don't need my siblings involved in my business. If they see that I'm trying to contact our mother, they will ask questions." I say, as I place some pillows down, then look at Davina. "Questions I don't feel like answering."
"And two?"
"This is a very powerful spell to contact a really powerful witch, and I don't want to cause a scene. You can clone this magic with the power you hold, so the quarter witches don't notice."
"And what makes you think I'll do that?" Davina asks. I reach into my pocket and take out a paper, and Davina starts to smile.
"Because I have been so helpful in helping you control your magic." Davina reaches to take the paper, but I swing it behind me. "And you won't get this spell until after you help me."
Her smile then drops, while I smile back at her.
"Fine." Davina agrees, and I put the paper back into my pocket. I go into the circle of candles and sit down on the cushion. "Just one more question."
I look up to Davina, who has a troublesome look on her face. "You seem to really care about your family and do whatever it takes you to protect them." Davina states, and I nod. "So what could be so urgent that you didn't even tell them?"
"Something I didn't think was even possible." I say in a solemn voice, and look away from Davina.
I hear her tell me I can start, but I start to feel nervous. If I can't figure out a way to undo this...I'll have to finally confront my family. This may be the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
But I try to clear my mind of my worries, close my eyes, and start reciting the spell.
I open my eyes to nothing. All I see is darkness. And I feel a little uneasy. I don't feel as comfortable as I was when I first spoke to my mother. Before, it was strange but it felt comforting. This time, all I feel is this weird uncomfortable feeling lurking over my shoulder.
"Ohun." I look at my hand and nothing happens. I am still standing in darkness, which means my magic does not work here. That eliminates pretty much 99% of my plan. I guess there is a simpler approach to this.
"Mother! Come out we need to talk!" I scream, but I get nothing but silence. I don't know exactly what I was expecting. My mother has never been the one to listen when you call for her. I honestly will be lucky she even talks to me at all.
Then I start to see something. A little light in the far distance. The light is a little blinding, but it is better than standing in a place where I cannot even see my own body.
I place my hand on my forehead to cover my face and start walking towards the light. The one thing you are not supposed to do when you are this close to death and technically, right now, I am. But, I continue to walk. The good news is if I die right now, at least I will be with my brother again. And I wouldn't have to deal with my family drama, that would be ideal.
I walk into the glowing light, and I look to see all the darkness behind me fade away. I turn back to look in front of me, and I see a whole picture I did not see before. I see trees, grass, some kids running around the area. I see homes that are not the types of homes you would see today.
But one house catches my attention. It is not that nice of a house, and it looks made out of straw, but I can't look away. It looks familiar to me. All of this looks so familiar.
"Where the hell am I?" I ask to myself. This is nothing like how it was before with my mother.
"It is incredible how quickly we forget our roots." Someone states behind me, and that voice is not my mother's. I turn around quickly, in offense, just to drop my guard the moment I lock eyes on her.
I most definitely contacted my mother, not her. I did not even know I could. I must be hallucinating or something, or my mother is playing tricks on me. But why? With the woman who was practically a second mother to my family.
"Ayana?" I question.
"It has been a few centuries, but I am surprised you don't remember your home." She states, but I am still shocked by her appearance. I see her mouth moving, but I don't hear anything. I want to say I'm hallucinating, but I am already inside of my head.
"Hello? Anyone there?" Ayana asks and I come out of my daze.
"Sorry, sorry. It's just...I have so many questions right now." I state, and she nods. Ayana takes a few steps closer to me and I am inclined to move back, but I stay frozen.
"I understand. Believe me when I tell you, I did not think I would be talking to you either, but here we are. We both know how stubborn your mother can be." Ayana walks past me to play with the little kids, and I turn around to face her.
"My mother?"
"That's why you came here, right?" She looks up to me and asks. She then throws a ball across the yard, and the kids run after it. Her eyes shift back to me. "She wanted me to talk to you."
"I come here to speak to my mother...and I end up talking to you. I guess it was not too far off..." I say in a calm tone. I have seen some weird things in my life and seeing Ayana should not be too much of a surprise. "Sorry for my rudeness earlier, I just wasn't expecting you...like at all."
Ayana smiles at me, and then walks to the stairs of our house. She goes to sit on the top step, and looks at me. "Well, your mother would be here, but she repeated over and over again that she would not hear your complaints, your excessive arguing, nor want to banter with you."
"I don't disagree with that." I take a step closer.
"She believed it was wiser that I talked with you, and I did not say no because your problem has to do with me as well." Ayana states and I look at her curious. "I did help your mother make your entire family immortal."
I raise my eyebrows at her, but my surprise goes away quickly. "I should have known." I walk to sit next to her on the step. "You were more powerful than my mother."
"Yeah, well it is not like I did it intentionally. I wanted to keep your family safe, but did not realize what I was creating until it was too late." Ayana states. "I regretted it for a very long time, even after I passed. Even now, it hurts seeing vampires terrorize the innocent, knowing I had a part in creating these creatures."
"I would not blame yourself. Whether you helped or not, my mother would have found a way." I pause for a moment. "I hate to admit it, but one thing my mother always did was make sure her family was safe." I lower my voice, feeling sick to my stomach now.
Ayana looks at me with her eyes squinted, analyzing my entire face. "That is the one thing your mother wanted more than anything."
"Emphasis on wanted," I state irritated.
Ayana tilts her head at me, while looking at me with sympathy. With a gentle tone, she asks "What do you need, Kalle?"
That same voice she used when I was just a little girl. The tone in her voice has not changed one bit, and it makes me feel like a child again.
"I want to know how I can become immortal again," I blurt out, and Ayana looks away from me.
"You can't."
"I don't believe that."
"Well you should." Ayana states in a stern tone, and I look annoyed at her. "Kalle, that spell was created a thousand years ago. No amount of begging will change this outcome."
"Every spell has a loophole."
"And this was yours." Ayana explains, and I narrow my eyes at her. "It might not have been the one you liked, but it was one. There should not have been a case where you became mortal again but this was your loophole."
"Then I would really like it if you could undo this loophole." I say in the same tone.
"Kalle..." Ayana takes my hand, but I continue to shake my head. "You have lived a very long life. You should be grateful instead of asking for more."
"Ayana, I'm not trying to be greedy. You don't understand. I need to stay here to keep my family together. Otherwise..." I pause and look away from her. "Otherwise, I don't know what will happen."
In the time I was in that box, everything was terrible. I was trapped for a century with nothing to do, not able to keep my family together. I realized over the years that that is what I am good at. I've always been the one on guard, the one making sure everyone didn't go out of line, keeping track of the bodies my family has killed and making sure they never fed too much, to ensure father wasn't on our tail.
Taking down father, killing our mother, killing Elena, doing all of that to keep our family safe. Without me here, it will feel like torture watching them slowly tear each other apart.
"Do you know why I brought you here?" Ayana asks, and I look back at her. "I wanted you to remember when you were mortal, just a normal witch."
"Why?"
"Because I wanted you to think about what your dreams were back then. What did you want to do more than anything?" Ayana asks me. What did I want to do more than anything? I wanted to...
"Become powerful witch." I say with a sense of relief, and see a small smile on Ayana's face. "I wanted to travel the world with my brother, I wanted to leave this tiny town and do more than just clean around the house-hold and farm some crops."
"What else?" Ayana asks curiously, and I try to think.
"I,..." I think for a moment. "I wanted to become a veterinarian. Take care of animals and run my own clinic. I wanted my own home that I could pay for on my own; I wanted better than this house. I wanted..."
I pause for a moment. I know what I want to say, but I just can't. I never wanted to say any of these things because the moment I do, is the moment I realize I cannot have it.
"I wanted..." I look at Ayana and she looks at me with a caring smile, and I just break. "I wanted to be a wife. I wanted to marry a man that I would love and cherish for the rest of my life. Maybe have some kids that we would both love more than anything in the entire world...something I never had."
I feel a tear rolling down my cheek, but Ayana wipes it away. I have never admitted this to myself because I knew this could never happen. There would always be a burden with my family, that I could never have a life of my own. My brothers, especially Niklaus, belittle Rebekah's dreams and want for being normal and living a normal life. Sometimes, I feel a sense in me that agrees with her...but I shove it down with the rest of my feelings.
But I guess the fact that I am now mortal made me realize what I truly wanted from life.
"Kalle, listen to me." Ayana turns me to fully face her. "I have watched you over the centuries and seen you time and time again sacrifice your happiness for your family's. For over a millennium, you have protected them from your father but you don't have to do that anymore. Your father is gone and you're free. You have become the strongest witch and you have traveled the world with your brother but now...now is the time to complete the rest of your goals." Ayana wipes another tear that rolls down my face. "To be who you truly are."
She is right, she is right about everything, just like she was when I was a kid. She is still right now. I don't have a burden to carry anymore. I am not bound to my family for an eternity anymore...I'm free.
But no matter how many times I try to see the good in this, there is still that aching feeling inside of me about my family and how they will start to act like a family again.
"Regardless if I am free or not, I can't just let my family be destroyed." I state and Ayana looks at me confused.
"I am sorry, but are you dying today?" Ayana asks in a sarcastic tone and I crack a smile. "That is what I thought. You still have an entire lifetime to live! And now that you have a deadline, maybe you will make some use out of it."
"And become a veterinarian?" I say with a joking smile.
"Yes! Or become an astronaut, or a nurse, or whatever makes you feel satisfied with your life. Whether that is a job...or making sure your family is happy...or just having a person you love by your side." Ayana explains. "I don't want you to see this as a curse, Kalle, I want you to see this as a blessing."
I have lived a long life. I can make sure my family is fine and okay for the last eighty years I have to live. But I should also live a life of my own. Do what, as Ayana said, truly makes me satisfied.
"I guess even when I die, I have Kol waiting for me in hell." I say with a shrug and she playfully pushes me away.
"Seriously, why do you always ruin the moment?" Ayana asks and I start laughing. Only a few seconds later, she starts laughing as well. Once we stop, she pulls me in for a big hug, and I hug her back. "I love you Kalle, you know that?"
"I know, I love and miss you too." I state sincerely.
"Well, you'll be here soon enough." Ayana states and I then pull back from the hug with annoyance on my face. "Oh but when you joke about it it's funny." I roll my eyes at her, and hug her again.
Life has never been easy for me. It seems like I have been running for as long as I can even remember. But maybe it's now my time to rest.
We both pulled away from the hug, and I felt a big weight lifted off my chest.
"Well, I guess all that's left is telling my siblings. This should be fun." I state sarcastically, but look at Ayana becoming serious. "What?"
"I would wait, just a little longer." Ayana states and I look at her confused. "It looks like your siblings are fighting again, and it seems to me that this is serious."
"What do you mean serious?" I question urgently, but Ayana shrugs her shoulders. "Seriously, you can see into the world of my siblings fighting, but cannot pick out the important parts?"
"I only get flashes from here. But Klaus seemed to be surrounded by a horde of vampires, with your sister standing on the other side with some man." Ayana states, and I get up from my seat. This has to be Marcel.
"What were you saying about me leaving my family before?" I questioned.
"I never said it was going to be easy." Ayana states, and she stands as well. "You should get going, but I did enjoy talking to you again, Kalle."
I smile at her, "You too. I am actually so relieved to talk to you instead of my mother. And besides, last time we parted ways, I never got to say goodbye."
Ayana nodded, "Good thing we all have seconds chances. Goodbye Kalle."
"Bye Ayana," I then feel consciousness quickly returning to my body.