Meanwhile, in the Tsim Sha Tsui neighborhood of Hong Kong, Lu Yong Li – the lioness of Lu – was yapping contentedly with Tong Yao as they walked arm in arm from store to store. When she was a young mother, Ms. Lu had daydreamed about having a daughter that she could take shopping. Now, her dream had become reality, and the experience was everything she had hoped for.

In the time-tested ritual of loving mothers and daughters everywhere, they ooh-ed and ah-ed over some items, goodnaturedly rejected some of each other's recommendations, and encouraged each other to try new things.

Although they enjoyed entering many boutiques, by the 3rd hour of their outing both were tired of being on their feet and had agreed to use the personal shopper experience offered by Ms. Lu's favorite luxury department store. In her mind, there's a lot to love about giving one's requests to a team, having them fetch and model those choices while you take a load off your feet as you sip mocktails on their plush couches.

For Tong Yao, this level of pampering was something new. Even Jinyang preferred to find clothes for herself. However, Yao enjoyed being with her animated 2nd mother. Plus, she was enjoying her Paloma cocktail. She thought that Ms. Lu seemed genuinely more comfortable with her, so she decided to test that supposition.

"Lu-ma, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Of course not, dear."

"Were you ever married before?"

Ms. Lu coughed up some of the Negroni she had just sipped. "What on earth would make you ask that?"

"Oh, I didn't mean any disrespect," she said hurriedly. "It's just that when you spoke about changing to fit someone else, it seemed like you were speaking from personal experience."

Ms. Lu remained silent.

Just as Tong Yao thought that she may have pushed the boundaries of their developing relationship too far, Ms. Lu spoke. "I have only ever been with one man; I have always belonged to the world of the Elites." Surprisingly, she said those words without any malice or heat in her tone. "You're perceptive; I appreciate that," she said before she fell silent.

Ms. Lu carefully searched her mind for the right words to continue her narrative and she soon found them. "When I was in my early twenties, all focus in my circle of family & friends was on marriage. Especially, marriage to the right person.

Mr. Lu and I had already paired up, however, there were several other eligible bachelors that my circle was pursuing.

One day, one of those bachelors introduced a girl from outside our circle and pronounced that she was to be his wife. The girl was beautiful but, clearly, she wasn't an elite. After introducing her at the country club, he left her with us and went to join his male friends.

My circle of friends, most of whom I had known since childhood, immediately gave her the mean girl treatment. They didn't give her the cut directly, but every phrase they uttered was a passive aggressive observation about her outfit, her accent…whatever they could find. Yet, that girl, paid them no attention!

Instead, she continued smiling, responding kindly and politely. I thought to myself that this girl is either stupid or she's incredibly self-possessed.

At the end of that introduction, the leader of our circle invited the girl and her fiancée to a dinner that she was going to host in 'celebration' of their soon-to-be wedded bliss."

Ms. Lu sighed, stood, and walked towards the mirrors that lined the front of the room. "I knew it was trap. Everyone in my circle did too.

A week later, the night of the dinner arrived. All of my circle, their families - including any boyfriends and fiancées - had been invited and were sitting around the table waiting, like vultures over a fresh kill, for this girl to make her first mistake. And they didn't have to wait long.

That poor girl didn't know the difference between her water glass and a wine glass. She had lived in a village for most of her life and grew up using only chopsticks, so she didn't know whether to use a fork or a spoon for the meal being served; she was hopeless in her small talk.

Not earth-shattering mistakes to be sure, but when people are trying to find reasons to exclude and insult you, even little things can be considered monumental. And with each error, the 'polite' tittering and sly glances increased. Her fiancée became embarrassed, and the girl's composure finally crumbled. I found her crying in the bathroom and decided to take her under my protection.

I don't know why, but I really liked her. I taught her proper etiquette, how to talk…I even taught her how to ride horseback. By the time of their wedding, she was firmly established in our circle. At the time, I considered that to be a victory. Only years later did I understand that it was a Pyrrhic one.

In my late twenties, I decided that attending company related Board of Director meetings was much more interesting than attending committee meetings for things like the 'Country Club Beautification & Excellence Council', so I started participating in more of my family's business events and working towards becoming the CEO of Wang Enterprises."

Tong Yao spoke for the first time in minutes. "That means that it's socially acceptable now, in elite circles, to be a mother and a business mogul?" asked Tong Yao, hopefully.

Ms. Lu scoffed. "Hardly. They still try to guilt trip any woman who doesn't dedicate her every waking moment to her children and husband, but they don't dare give me the cut. I know how to hurt their husbands," she added with a wink.

She took another sip of her Negroni before continuing her story. "Unfortunately, my friend changed too much of her personality to fit them, and I couldn't be around as much to remind her that she didn't need to change everything special about herself just to belong.

She adopted their dress, their speech…their likes and dislikes. She had the 'right' number of children and was a member of the 'right' committees. Twenty years later, I didn't recognize her. Neither did her husband.

Oh, she was still very beautiful, but now she was just as ordinary as the other members of our circle. He became disinterested in her. At first, it was affairs once or twice year. Then it became months-long affairs. Finally, he asked for a divorce. By that time, their kids were grown and he wanted to elevate his primary mistress to the role of wife."

Ms. Lu laughed bitterly. "Although my friend was no longer the center of his world, he was still the center of hers. She adored him like a lovesick teenager."

Ms. Lu's voice softened and became regretful. "Plus, without his name, the respect and prestige she had earned would evaporate. Everything she had was tied to his name. I heard that she spent two days on her knees begging him to reconsider. He coldly refused. One week after the divorce was finalized, she killed herself."

Ms. Lu stopped speaking as she struggled to hold back angry tears. She was mad at the girl. She was mad at the husband. She was mad at herself. She recomposed herself and focused on Tong Yao's reflection in the mirrors as she said, "Never forget who you are. If Lu Si Cheng had wanted to marry a woman from our circle, then he would have married a woman from our circle. Never let those women make you believe otherwise."