His stomach was grumbling, but actually he knew well enough when not to sneak into the kitchen. Still he'd tried, and got to regret it now.

With Grandmama around, it actually never seemed like a good time to be seen. And unlike others, she was around a lot these days – as was Hazel …

"Where's Edward's little devil?"

"Huh?"

"Jackie boy!" Hazel raised her voice so old Grandmama would hear her better. "Where's Jackie?"

Hiding from both of them in the pantry of Teague's so called residency, he couldn't help but roll his eyes. It was bad enough to be stuck with that side of the family, on an island at that, feeling like an orphan because both his mother and Teague had run away from him once again, but did those remaining here really have to call him that all the time?
He wasn't four anymore, he was … seven.

"Jackie you mean?" Grandmama shrieked, entering the kitchen for good. "The brat was supposed to be back here four hours ago, but worry not – I'll teach him how to be on time, you'll see."

Her definition of teaching unfortunately was his definition of nearly beheading someone …

Likely for that reason, Hazel gulped. He could hear it even in the pantry. "Edward told us to watch out for him, if he's in trouble –"

"Don't make a fuss. He'll come home."

She really boldly called it a home …
The place his mother fled as frequently as she could, where also Teague would never live for more than two weeks in a row, where people killed each other on a daily basis for less than a lost bet, and where he felt all alone and alien in a world full of people constantly.

Nobody in the Cove knew or liked any books, they all could hardly read, no one wanted to talk about history, absolutely not a soul wished to discuss spirituality, or magic, or religion or politics.
He did! But he couldn't always only ever talk to himself, could he now …

"What makes you sure he'll come back here?"

"A hungry dog always will," Grandmama claimed.

Calling him a dog was one of the nicer terms of endearment still. And in a way, she wasn't so wrong with that comparison. A street dog he was, but certainly no dog with a home to voluntarily come to.

No, he decided in that moment that he'd sneak away again. He knew several places to sleep at, she could teach him obedience another day. For now, he just quietly stuffed his pockets. With a bit of fruit at least, it would have to do. Not what he'd hoped for, but better than nothing. In one or two taverns down in town he'd surely be able organize a bit more, too. He'd take what he could, not ever giving anything back.
Because why would he? Nobody ever gave him anything. They all cared so much about themselves that he would be foolish not to do the same.

"Momma, hunger's one thing, but you beat him up for anything these days –"

"Hazel, you and your brother are still alive, too, aren't ya!"

"Aye, but … I saw him in the shop a couple of days ago. He's all black and blue."

"Could've simply said I was right. He wouldn't do that, so he had to face the consequences. Easy as that."

Nothing about not being able to lie down because of the blows to his back was easy, her cane hurt as hell.

But it was just Grandmama at her best when even Hazel sighed. "Mother, you know how mad Edward got last time he discovered you'd –"

"Hazel, shut it, will ya! I'm in charge if he insists on living his life to the fullest leaving the lad here, as does his little squaw whenever she –"

"You don't get to call her that!"

Unwise it was of Jack to yell that out of the pantry. But necessary. Just like hurrying out there now, right into the kitchen, where the tables and chairs would still be a barrier in between them if he was only quick enough.
Unless Grandmama threw herself onto the table. One could never know with her …

"There you are!" She even smiled, it was genuine. Twisted old bat. "Were you hiding from me, Jackie?"

"Of course I was, you tend to nearly kill me whenever I show up!"

"Oh please, that's not true!"

He groaned. "Two days ago you even threw a horse shoe after me!"

"Your lucky day, aye? Since I missed."

"I know!" he shouted in awe. "But you wanted it to hit me!"

"Nah, all I did was scare you."

"But I'm not scared, I'm upset!"

Grandmama only rolled her eyes. "See, Hazel? You're both terribly dramatic! Jackie, heaven knows you need me to teach you some manners, that absent mother of yours obviously can't –"

"Each and everyone of you make her leave this nightmare of an island on purpose!"

"Stop twisting it, Jackie, everytime I mention her –"

"You never just mention her, you insult her!"

"Too bad," Grandmama screamed, "she's not even here to care, aye? Just like she doesn't care too much about you, otherwise she'd be around and I wouldn't have to insult her!"

"Teague's not here as well," Jack raised his voice just as much, "but him you don't call a –"

"Fathers don't stay at home with their children, Jackie, your mother ought to be here!"

Hazel cleared her throat, making Jack and Grams pause to expectantly glance at her. "Well, it's just … You were never there for us, Mum. Father was." Due to Grandmama's grim look, she chose to close her mouth quickly again. "Never mind …"

"That was different." The old hag brushed it off. "Jackie, be grateful at least I care about you. Be thankful that I love you so, my boy."

She loved him too much. Auntie Hazel too little.
But the latter hurt less …

Jack had to keep himself from snorting. "Your love feels like you hate me."

"Don't be ridiculous, kid. Now come over here and get what you deserve."

"And what is it I deserve?" He wouldn't move an inch.

"You know the answer."

"I know what you believe the proper answer to be, but I wish to declare that I do deserve better!"

"Move your ungrateful bones over here," she growled her presumably last warning. "That's for me to judge, Jackie."

"Only if you catch me." And with that, he did everything he could – including throwing the stolen fruit at her – so she wouldn't.

He heard her screaming for a while still, but he'd quickly made it down the hill where neither her nor her cane could follow. Too steep.

Down there, the first taverns were already opening again, preparing for a busy nightlife as always.

And why not. Nights were the better days, he found, since nobody cared that much anymore. About anything, frankly. At night, most people were done with it all, and just as alone. On their own, absorbed into their dreams and nightmares just alike, tipsy and drunk and loud and unhinged. Genuine.

At times, it was the perfect distraction to watch a bit of Sodom and Gomorrah in the Cove. Teague had told him to stay away from it over and over again, but Teague wasn't there. No one that would care enough to look out for him was, so why listen.

Usually he didn't ponder much about it, but that night, Jack's heart was a bit heavy. Weeks had passed since he'd last seen his mother, and Teague soon fled the Cove as well – as though his presence alone wasn't enough for the man to be around anyway.

He wanted to be mad, madness was good. But if he was being honest to himself, he was much rather frustrated. Maybe a bit hurt. They always said he'd talk too much. He'd ask too many questions, and maybe that was why they went away all the time …

"Out and about again?"

Jack whirled around. Glancing into the ever moving water surface of the harbour never did him any good, he hadn't even noticed Roxanna approaching him.

"Thought you wanted a break?" he called out to the young woman until she sat down next to him on the pier, watching the hustle and bustle in front of the tavern just over the street.

"Laurent won't give me a break." The plunging neckline required for her … work … was giving testament to it, and Jack couldn't help but feel sad for her. She looked so tired as of lately.

"And why again is Laurent even entitled to giving you a break? Why can't you just take one?"

"Because he wants me to work for him."

Jack narrowed his eyes, he simply didn't want to understand why the world had to be so complicated. "But why are you working for him? Why isn't he working for himself?"

Roxanna chuckled. "Nobody would pay to touch him."

Jack thought about it for a bit, but it still didn't make too much sense."His problem, ain't it? Why won't you just work for yourself, without him?"

"Who'd protect me then?" Roxanna gave him a weary smile. "Life's absurd, Jack. A girl's gotta eat."

"I get that. See, I'm hungry, too. I was right about to go steal for myself, so if you like, I can also look out for something for you."

Roxanna couldn't help but laugh, what an adorable oddball he was. "I didn't quite mean it in the literal sense, Jack, but thank you. Here …" Magic it was, she pulled two slices of bread out a pocket. "Last time you stole food in this alley, I had to act like your mother to avoid you getting slain, remember that?"

"Yeah …" He was already chewing. "Your acting was impeccable, Roxy."

"Well, someone had to save your poor hand, they were hellbent on cutting it of." She shook her head, all tired. "Still Teague didn't like it one bit."

"But Teague wasn't around in time. Since he never is. And why shouldn't I talk to you, and you to me, just because you once … ah, worked … with him. Makes no sense."

"I don't blame him, Jack, he's just a man. And all men are alike. They enjoy the good times, then they act like they don't know you."

"So that's common? He's just recently told me I shouldn't ever call him Dad in town again, can you imagine? I don't know, maybe he isn't even my father and I just misunderstood –"

"Nah, Jack, he is your dad. Bet he wants to protect you. Being his son might just be a bit too dangerous, understand?" All she saw were pitch-black eyes filled with resignation, it almost broke hear heart. And it made her mad. "But men never explain anything – see, bloody stupid they are! Hurt people they love just because they never properly talk about their reasons …"

"I'm afraid I, on the other hand, talk to much, Roxy. Those couple of weeks ago, I might've accidentally told my mother that him and you were working together and –"

"What?" She made big, round eyes. "No, you didn't! Oh, Jack! Tell me you didn't say that!"

He shrugged, screwing up his face. "It just slipped out of me mouth. And see? Now they're both far away all while my Grams is much too close."

"There are exceptions to all rules, huh?" She gave him her warmest smile. "Sometimes, talking too much isn't beneficial either. You'll still learn when to talk, and when to be silent."

"Quite the shame, all of it. I'm usually such a good pickpocket. I don't know how that could even escalate to such a close call, I mean –"

"That pirate saw your little hand. You need to distract the people you're stealing from."

He gravely nodded. "It's learning by doing, I guess."

"Such is life, for sure." She winked, then she got up and started strolling back towards the tavern.

"Roxy, wait! Should I ask Laurent to give you a break?"

"Kind of you, but – absolutely not." She turned around again, shaking her head, winking. "Just don't be caught stealing again, aye?"

"Aye."

Jack soon found himself another donor of a meal, and then, as if drawn in by the current of the ocean, he went to one of his favorite spots on a tiny bay's beach. Nobody ever went there, likely only a fraction of the people around here knew the place existed.
In a way, if the Cove had to be his home, this place, this bit of the island, was closest to it. With his eyes on the horizon underneath a starlit sky he thought about the whispers of the sea. Steadily they reached him, calling him to discover the miracles of this world.
At least until he couldn't resist sleep any longer.

"Here you are …"

Hearing his mother's soft voice so close while still somewhat asleep made him truly wonder. Was that just a dream or was she really near?

"I was looking everywhere for you."

The euphoric smile on her pretty features was the first thing he got to see on this new day. While the ocean swayed in slow waves along to birdsong, she sat down into the sand right next to him, waiting for him to finish yawning and getting up as well.

Still somewhat startled, he all but said, "You're back."

It sounded like a question rather than a statement, despite the obviousness of her being there. Likely not least because it just wasn't to be taken for granted to have her around.

He always had to expect the unexpected with her, she was like the wind. He admired that so much in her, he longed to fly with her – but time and time again, while she spread her wings, he lost his ground.

And even if she was back now – he couldn't know when she would be gone again.

With loving touch she brushed long strands of black hair from his little face, her movement ever so gentle. Her sheer presence, the serenity she radiated, was so healing as long as her inner centre wasn't coming adrift thanks to Teague. Or this place …

She whispered something, and he understood her well, of course he did, yet he couldn't help but use the opportunity to play his cards. After all, he was his father's son just as much.

"They say I'm clever, mum, but pardon me – you're not around enough for me to understand your language."

"Little liar." She smirked. "You understood I missed you."

He did. And whenever she left, he understood it as well. He sensed she had to be gone, he felt the way the Cove, and also Teague, would suffocate her spirits. It wasn't much different for Jack. His mother wasn't herself for too long rooted to one place, surrounded by the English, by Pirates, by carelessness …
He got why she had to get away so much, he felt in his soul it was a survival instinct.

But he simply couldn't understand why she left him in a place she had to flee from.

He knew she valued how independent he was at his young age. She loved how he was perfectly able to go his own way without needing anyone. He knew how to get ready on his own, how to steal, how to find a place to sleep. She'd raised him to protect and seize his freedom from the moment he could walk, still each time she hoped his father would at least keep an eye on their son.

"Where is he?"

He. Teague …
He'd told him to call him that. And the way she now only ever called him that as well, or by his name at least, Jack truly found himself questioning whether the man even was his father.
Maybe Roxanna was right. Maybe it was meant to protect him. But maybe it wasn't. He wasn't around much to protect him in practice, so why bother in theory?

"Can you be honest?"

Nazshoni nodded. "I always am."

"Well, he isn't. But … Teague. He is my –"

"Of course he is. He's just not used to the … role."

Jack thought about it, but he didn't say anything back.
As far as he understood the world, children didn't ask to be born … Teague seemed to be a bit dramatic, too.

"Now tell me, where is he?"

Jack just shrugged.

"You don't know?"

"Sailing, likely?"

His mother gulped, guilty as intended. "Sailing."

Jack raised his chin, almost in defiance, and Nazshoni couldn't help but see herself in him.

"Heard you." She sighed. "But he promised me he'd be here with you while I'm –"

"He's a pirate, just like everyone else here, so promises aren't worth that much."

"Oh, Jack …" She took a deep breath and as she put her hands on his shoulders to regard him intently, she suddenly noticed lilac discolourations on his sun-kissed skin right where his shirt slipped. She tilted her head and pushed the fabric aside, frowning immediately. Bruises all over, and impossibly just from inconvenient accidents.

When he just wouldn't say a word despite her questioning gaze, she eventually asked, "What's that?"

In tired effortless he rolled his eyes. "Nothing."

"Jack, someone beat you up and it shows, that's not nothing, who –"

"Grams, of course! He always tells her to look after me when he leaves, and that's just her style of doing that." He could see the anger arise within her, the frustration, still he added, "Why do you all act well surprised whenever –"

"I'm sorry! Jack, I'm so, so sorry, I'll never let that happen again. I'll take you with me next time." So far, Teague never let her, but he simply had to. "You won't have to stay here alone with her again, I promise."

She meant it. But he knew the second her voice carried those words that it was a lie. It would be one. There was no arguing with Teague.

Jack's silence was the worst for his mother. He was such a bubbly, chattering kid, always eager to keep up a charade, but whenever he fell silent, she knew he was letting her see his true colors.

"I know, Jack", she whispered, her heart heavy. "I'm sorry, you hear me?"

Eventually, he'd nod. He knew she was, so it was fine. She hugged him tightly to herself, she ruffled his hair and put smooches on his cheeks until he had to protest and smile again.

"You got thin. Didn't Grandmama at least cook for you?"

"No, she said I'm old enough to do that myself."

Nazshoni made big eyes. "And did you?"

"No, she gets mad when I leave a mess, and even if she isn't mad she nearly kills me … Wasn't that hungry."

"We'll go eat anything you like. Now."

"Anything?"

She nodded. "Anything!"

"How long will you be here this time?"

He asked ever so casually, but his glance was a bit too wistful. So much so, that Shoni had a hard time not to sigh in bitter frustration. She held his gaze instead, and she didn't want to lie to him – but he knew what her hesitation meant despite her claiming, "A while, Jack. I promise."

The bitter thought occurred to him that maybe it would all be easier if none of them ever came back at all. Frequently being alone again was worse than just being alone in general. He would get used to it, he bet he would – but he couldn't do it like that. Each time he believed he was better off on his own, they came back to show him just how much sunnier life could be with caring company.

Caring company that was never sure or to be taken for granted.

Don't bother. That's what he wanted to say to her, but he couldn't voice the words. He was such a good liar, usually, but right there, he couldn't bring himself to lie to his mother's face.
Because he wished she'd bother. Enough to never leave him in the Cove again, or stay there herself.

It was too much to ask of her, he felt that in his bones. So he didn't. But maybe that was shaping him.