Well then. LOL I am on a hot streak I tell you!
This past weekend was really awesome and gave me so much inspiration in order to get this next chapter out. Since I don't think I will be able to get Flufftober done this year, I added plenty of angsty-fluff to this one. If you are not a fan of mature themes or bedroom situations, this chapter is not for you. Consider this your warning. The story's rating is what it is because of this chapter. XD
aaaaaa
The city was always more peaceful at night. The sparkling lights, the fewer vehicles on the road, and the stillness that came with the early hours of twilight- It was a sight Niko had grown accustomed to watching a couple times a week when his thoughts got too carried away. He could watch the skyline and for a brief moment feel as if no one was out there gunning for him. Which was more unsettling than knowing he was a wanted man. At least then he knew what to expect every day when he left the safety of the apartment.
Now there were so many unknowns and uncertainty. His past just would not stay there, no matter how hard he worked to get out from under its shadow. The calendar told him it had been four months since that desperate chase to Happiness Island. And while he figured he would be able to move on, his mind kept him locked in the events that unfolded. So much had transpired. Maybe he had missed a player in the mix? Someone was still unhappy with his success.
Anger and fear were powerful emotions to him. Most of the time they blended together so well he couldn't tell the difference. His fear would give way to anger, and his explosive anger would simmer into fear the longer he stayed consumed in it. Every time the image of Kate getting shot drifted across his mind, the body numbing anguish wanted to shake his hands, and he fisted them against the windowsill to quiet the feelings. He had done what he had set out to accomplish. He had put to rest Dimitri's cousin, saved his own cousin and girlfriend, and had brought peace to Liberty City.
'What peace? Look at how everyone is stirring up new alliances and building power in anticipation for the next threat. And here I am once more in the middle of it all…'
He knew Kenny was up to something. There was no way that man was going to leave well enough alone. Not now that he had seen him face to face and physically joined them at the table. He may not have confirmed or denied his place within the newly establish commission, but his thoughts knew he was far from out of the game. Gerry wanted something from him, Kenny expected everything from him, and Roy was an unknown wild card.
'I can't keep lying. Too many lies and it will get harder to keep it all straight.'
He let out a silent sigh and leaned heavily on his closed fists against the windowsill. The apartment felt bitterly cold, and he tiredly looked out over the snow covered streets below. The snowplows had yet to run their early morning route and it reminded him of the crumbling cities back in the war. How the buildings were dark, shot up, and blanketed in fresh powered snow. It taught him how one could hide and bury their pain under something innocent and clean. No imperfections had touched the newly fallen snow and it masked the damage below.
It was how he trudged on. To everyone else he was fine- nothing bothered him, and he could take on any assignment and not feel remorse. But they were wrong. A small part of himself didn't enjoy the killing, stealing, and fighting. The part of him he had locked away so long ago wanted out; wanted to start healing and recovering after years of being beaten down. Kate urged the good out of him.
So why was he internally fighting to keep it away?
He had let himself get careless and close to her. After pulling the trigger and ending Derrick's life he should have ignored her calls. Packie called him. And that was tough enough to get through and not let anything shake his voice as he lied through his teeth. Then she had gone and called him. He had been at some pulse pounding club with Roman and friends trying to drink the images away and maybe distract himself with another warm body when her name flashed across his phone.
The guilt had been like a bucket of cold water to him, and he took her call without missing a beat. He knew then that she was too important to just shove away.
He frowned at his reflection in the frosted edged window. Now she was looking forward to a future with her brother's killer. It was why he was awake and letting his thoughts run away from him. Why had he let himself hope? Why had he gone and fallen for the one person he shouldn't be with? He thought he was making the right decisions when it came to them. After the funeral he gave her space- to give her a chance to see who he really was and leave. But she wouldn't leave his mind alone.
After all the reasons he gave her to stay away, to just be happy with the friends only title, she kept coming back for more. Kept dropping hints about wanting to try dating him. That when she was ready, she wanted it to be with him. And damn it all, it had been a good enough distraction for him to forget why he was so hell bent on killing Darko. He had his finger primed and ready on the trigger of his gun, no waver on the target, and his ridiculous thoughts ran back to her kind eyes and forgiving nature. And in that split second, he lowered his gun and let him dash off at the airport.
Their lives were almost completely intertwined before they had the chance to even act on their feelings.
He had let that happen. Had let her in so easily. Now her soft, almost silent breathing gently drifted to him from the other side of the partition wall in the upscale apartment in Middle Park East.
Could he really find a way to get that future she wanted? Francis was bound to have a fall guy for Derrick's death. It would be the easy way out. Pin the death on some other lost soul and appease Gerry and everyone else in order to start anew. It was a tempting thought. And one that was gaining momentum in his mind and heart. Plenty of people out in the world wanted the McReary's to suffer, and he fell into that category fairly well. Wouldn't be much of a stretch to point the blame in the Albanian's or Ancelotti's direction.
But could he keep looking into Kate's eyes and continue to live that lie?
He forehead connected to the frigid glass as he wanted to groan out with the way his heart and mind were at war. He never thought this much about things, and maybe that's why he was in the situation he was in. Gerry wasn't easily fooled, and it would take everything he had in order to be convincing of his lie. Francis would be ecstatic to have something to dump his problem out on. He was set to be the Police Commissioner. That knowledge didn't settle his dread and anxiety at all.
Some unreadable emotion twisted painfully in his chest, and he let out a deep sigh to try and loosen it up.
'One thing at a time. Get a scapegoat for Derrick's death, get Gerry off my back, figure out who tried to kill me and Ron, ensure that no one else is out there targeting me, give Kenny no reason to employ me, and then…'
His eyes opened and glanced over to the small velvet pouch that rested on the windowsill next to his fist.
Antonia had given him several uncut, pure clarity, untraceable diamonds. Their value was bound to be priceless, and a calm quiet voice whispered to him that the jovial man at Roth and Son's would be more than elated to make him an engagement ring and matching wedding band.
He had kept Kate from seeing the pouch when they got back to his apartment. Wasn't hard really. They had been distant, silent, and stuck in their own worlds. She had mumbled something out about wanting to shower and change, and he had watched her heave the large suitcase down the hall toward the bedroom. He had given her space, which was really for his own benefit. When the shower turned on, he changed into his pajamas and kept himself preoccupied in the living room.
When she hadn't come looking for him, he knew she had either laid down to sleep, or was waiting him out. But the light had turned off at some point and he knew she was going to leave him be for the rest of the night.
He had tucked the pouch into a random drawer in the kitchen to look at later, but when he heard her breathing even out, signaling she had passed out, he went in search of it. It was one of the reasons he was in his thinking spot. The gift wasn't returnable now. Antonia was long gone and unreachable. And he wasn't sure if Roy knew he had 'accepted' the gift of partnership or not. It had started his spiral down into darker thoughts and now he stood against the far window of the apartment by the dining room table watching the city move on without him.
Silently he picked up the pouch to let the larger diamond tumble out into the palm of his other hand. It glimmered in the twinkling lights of the surrounding city, and he thumbed it around before pinching it between his fingers. He lifted it up in order to get another look at the stunning clarity and unaltered beauty. It was somewhat oddly shaped, but it could be cut, reshaped, and set into any number of precious metals.
'But would Kate accept me if she knew the truth?'
It was the only thought that kept him from jumping fully ahead now. Earlier in the day he wouldn't have second guessed himself. Now things were so far out of hand that he couldn't be sure that someone wasn't out in the city biding their time to strike when his guard was down.
He tucked the rock back into the pouch and sinched it closed. It was a thought for another day. He had told himself one day at a time and he meant to stick to it. Quickly he dropped the velvet pouch into the drawer of the dining room side cabinet, burying it under a bunch of fancy looking cloth napkins. Why Roman had any of this stuff bought and tucked away in the apartment amused him at times. What kind of life did he think they were going to live? Fancy dinner parties were not their thing. The corner of his lips lifted in a quiet smirk before he closed the drawer softly and went back to studying the city.
His hand went to his side as fantom pain fluttered to life for a brief moment. It had been an extremely close call. Kate had been in a complete panic when she pulled the trigger. He couldn't be sure what was going through her mind or why she had fought against his hold. Wasn't he supposed to be the one to calm her and protect her? So why had she clung on to the gun and refused to let it go? Was he really shoving her into more violent reactions? The thoughts deepened his pensive scowl and mood.
Rustling from the other side of the apartment caused him to shift his weight off the windowsill into a more alert position, reaching for the handgun that was tucked just out of sight in the corner of the window ledge. He strained his ears to hear for any distressful noises from their shared bed, but the weighted silence dragged on, and he removed his hand from the pistol. He figured she was just turning over or readjusting after a fitful dream.
Regret tugged on his heart. He should be laying next to her, holding her, providing comfort to keep her nightmares at bay. They had been through an eventual day where he knew things were bound to trigger night terrors. And he could use the comfort as much as her. He had been saved by Ron, nearly blown up in a rundown apartment, chased by a reporter, emotionally drained, pulled thin, interrogated by Ron's partner, invited to the high table of crime, and almost shot by Kate. It had been one hell of a day.
Picking up the gun, he let his eyes run over the tall buildings in the distance one more time, before heading back toward the warm bed he knew was waiting for him. His feet silently carried him through the living room and closer to the woman that waited for him to either accept a future with her or not. How she held out such hope and patience with him he would never know. The silver light from the full moon shone through the uncovered industrial window in the bedroom and illuminated the huddled, lone figure in the massive king sized bed.
He paused at the foot of the bed and watched as she breathed in shakily, her shoulders quivering every now and then before she tugged the covers around her tightly. Sniffling reached his ears, and it dropped his shoulders. She shuffled around before the dim light of her cell phone came to life and she typed out something to whoever she was texting. He could see her swipe at her cheeks before clicking a few more keys to finish the message, tucking the phone back under the pillow she rested on.
How long had she been awake? Who was she reaching out to instead of him?
Niko lifted his foot and curled his toes, before pressing them down against the floor to pop them, giving her a quiet warning that she wasn't entirely alone in the room. The noise jolted her, and she sat bolt upright in bed, frantically looking around before landing on his slightly shadowed body. She jerked the covers up her body and stared at him unmoving, and he could read the hesitancy and doubt on her face.
"Um…" She cleared her throat when her voice came out strained and scratchy, "Are you okay? Did you need something?" She turned her body toward him and crossed her legs, pulling the sheets and comforter with her to keep her covered.
Her hair was an array of wild curls and flattened down on the one side where she had been laying. Her widened eyes stared back at him scared, and in the glow of the moon he could see the tear stains on her cheeks. As if she could sense his observation of her, she hastily rubbed at her eyes with one of her hands, trying to remove the evidence of crying without acknowledging it.
It was a gut punch to his ego and soul.
"May I come to bed?" His voice softly called out to her, and he nodded toward his empty, untouched side of the bed.
"Of- of course. It's your bed silly." Kate attempted to smile, but it never reached her eyes. She scooted over more and reached out to draw the covers back by his pillow, opening up his side to the chilly air that clung to every surface in the room.
He wanted to correct her. It was their bed. The place they shared themselves with one another. The soft, cushioned surface that hugged their bodies as they physically showed each other what they meant to the other. It was their safe haven, a space that allowed them to speak freely and openly. Where they had their first kiss. He didn't want to sully the space with coldness and regret.
Silently he approached his side of the bed and placed his gun down on the nightstand, turning it to be within reach should he need it. Carefully he jerked the long sleeved cotton shirt over his head and tossed it to the dresser up against the wall. His eyes turned down to his pillow, letting him see her out of the corner of his eye. Kate shuffled down the bed and turned away from him, facing the opposite wall, once more tucking the sheets below her chin.
"If you want, I can sleep on the couch." Niko waited to lower down to the edge of the bed for her answer. He didn't feel right getting into bed next to her if she was scared to come near him.
"Don't be ridiculous. Lay down and get some sleep Niko." Kate didn't look over her shoulder and only rubbed her cheek against the pillow, trying to disguise her voice of the cracking he could hear.
"Okay." He sighed heavily and sat down, shoving his legs below the cool, crisp sheets. He lowered down against the usually welcoming mattress and stared up at the ceiling. He could almost hear the way she was berating herself, tearing herself down the longer she huddled in on body. He looked to her side of the bed and watched as she pulled her knees up and shifted the blankets to keep warm.
He couldn't stand it any longer. He rolled toward her and pulled her back into his chest, tucking his arm around her body and finding her hand in order to hold it within his own. She immediately started shaking and tensed against him, folding her fingers between his to return the grasp. He lifted his leg up to rest against hers, enveloping her in his embrace, slowly pulling her flush to his own body.
"I'm so sorry Niko. I'm so sorry." Kate's voice trembled, and she let the sob out that fought for freedom. She shifted back into him and pulled his arm closer around her, trying to hug it in the folded position she was in. The tears continued to drip down her cheeks and rolled into the damp surface of her pillow.
"Shh. I'm sorry too." Niko held her tightly and let her work through the tears. He tucked his nose down into the crease of her neck and collarbone, closing his eyes and listening to the broken, rapid breathing of her overworked body.
"I don't want to lose you." Her words were so quiet and muffled between heavy gulps of air. Kate turned her face toward him and away from the cold, wet surface of her pillow, pressing her cheek to his forehead. Her body moved slightly with the movement to fit more comfortably against him, letting his body heat sooth the tense, rigid, tightly strung muscles. It reminded her of the first time he had fully held her to him. He was gentle, loving, comforting. A place to hide away from the pain of the world.
"I don't want to lose you." Niko repeated her words and kissed her bare shoulder gently. Her skin felt cool to the touch, and he placed another kiss to the junction of her neck noticing the shiver that traveled over her with his show of affection. Her hair tickled his face as she tried to turn more toward him, tentatively pressing her hips back into him. Her movements felt so timid and unsure, a far cry from the way she used to melt in his hands and open up to him.
Kate didn't want to surrender to the yearning that twisted and coiled around in her body. She was hurting in so many ways, but the longer his warmth coursed against her bare skin, the easier it was to give in. The flannel of his pants felt rough against the tender skin of her thighs, and she twitched against the scrape that traversed down her legs. His fingers flexed against her own and she returned the squeeze.
"Kate. It's not your fault." He rested his cheek against her shoulder and placed another open mouth kiss to her incredibly soft skin. His eyes trailed over her jaw and down to her chest that as buried beneath the thick blankets of the bed. In the glow from the moon, he could make out the faint scar from her bullet wound. It wasn't as pronounced as it was in the hospital when he woke. It was faint, faded, and looked out of place against all the other unmarred skin he could see.
"It is… I shot at you." She sucked in a deep breath to get her words out. Her fingers could still feel the weight and pull from the gun as it went off in her hand. The heat and noise that scorched everything around her. It was terrifying to say the least. Not at all the powerful, in control feeling she figured was supposed to come to her when using a weapon. She blinked her eyes rapidly trying to stem the flow of tears. It was building back up the headache from earlier and she felt incredibly drained from all the outpouring of emotions she had given in the past twenty four hours… Or more now that midnight had come and gone.
"No. You pulled the trigger in a panic. Was I your target?" He lowered his face back down to the place he knew she loved to be kissed and hovered above it, breathing over the sensitive skin.
"No. Never. All I could see was Bobby trying to pin me down on the bed or against the dresser. He had moved to get the gun earlier and when you tried to take the gun from me, I got lost. It felt like he had taken ahold of me. Wanted to do harm to me. But at the last second it was you and my finger was already pulling back. I still don't know how it didn't hit you…" The hot breath on her neck felt inviting and she leaned back into the pillow asking him to keep going.
"I had jerked the gun to the side when your finger slid back into the trigger guard. I must have moved the gun enough to let it graze me." He shifted up on the bed and placed a kiss to the space below her jaw firmly, "I don't think for a second that you were trying to kill me."
"Niko… He touched me. I didn't know it was him. My body thought it was your hands on my sides, fisting into my dress. I wanted you. I didn't want the moment to end. I wanted your hands to enter my dress and touch me." She closed her eyes tightly and bit her bottom lip as her muscles clenched below her navel. Goosebumps rose to meet his breath each time he exhaled against her. God did he know what it was he did to her?
"I wanted you to pull the dress down my body." Her legs squeezed together fiercely, and she felt Niko press his leg back against hers when space formed between them.
"Is that so?" He dragged their clasped hands closer to her body, bending her elbow closed, his arm brushing against her rapidly hardening nipples. He felt her shake against the feeling, and he trailed his lips down her neck, leaving tiny, barely there, kisses on his way to the spot he knew she wanted him to touch.
"Mmm… Yes. I wanted you to bend me over the dresser." She pressed her opposite cheek further into the pillow to open her neck to him and his teasing, "But once I knew it was him and not you, I felt so dirty. So wrong. I felt like I had somehow cheated on you." She opened her eyes and tried to look at him from her position within his firm hold.
"He won't be able to ever touch you again." His blood wanted to boil with her words. The pathetic man had dared to take his place and forced Kate to react without knowing it wasn't him. He knew she wouldn't have ever given Bobby a pass. She was fully, completely, committed to him and his body. He tilted his face over her shoulder to catch her gaze, and he could read and see her guilt, fear, and hesitancy to accept his words.
"Kate. He is no longer a problem. Or is there something else that is causing you to cry alone in bed?" He softened his words and released her hand in order to brush away a few loose strands of hair from her eyes. He could make out the worry lines across her forehead, the deepening creases of her eyes, and the way her bottom lip disappeared into her mouth. There was something else lurking below the surface that was keeping her from so readily accepting things so easily.
"I…" Kate let out a shaky breath, "I felt, well still feel, wrong about how my body responded. I feel Godawful for nearly shooting you at point blank range. And…" She dropped her gaze to the opposite wall and closed her eyes. Her heart and mind just couldn't come to terms with anything anymore. Had someone asked her before therapy if her and Niko were meant to be together, she wouldn't have missed a beat with a resounding yes. Now after a tremulous day? She couldn't be so confident in her answer.
"Those two things will work themselves out. I'm not upset at you. Beyond angry about why it happened in the first place. I should've been outside your door. Could have avoided all of it." He turned her face back toward him, forcing her body to roll slightly into him in order to see her better in the silver lighting from the window. He ran his thumb along her jaw coaxing her to open her eyes to him, "What else has you upset?"
"It's nothing Niko." Kate felt the tears tumble free from between her lashes as she refused to look at him as she lied. She hated the way she was feeling. Her body trembled with the way his pressed against her, how he was so gentle with her, but knowing those very hands that caressed her could also kill her. Kill those that came after them. Would pull the trigger without a second thought if he tracked down Derrick's killer.
"Kate… Look at me." He frowned at the outright lie, stilling his movement against her face. She was never one to hide away from the things she needed to talk to him about. They had been working on communication and understanding the other since getting released from the hospital. Had he really stripped their foundation back so far with his non-confirmation that he wanted the same future as her? Did he want that future?
"I don't want you to keep killing. Derrick's killer doesn't need to be hunted down, okay? Just promise me you won't go after them, please?" Kate opened her eyes to look up at Niko's overly guarded eyes. He was an unreadable vision before her, and she wanted to take back her words immediately. Maybe he wanted to seek revenge for her family? She knew her brothers wanted it. And maybe some small part of her soul longed for the blood thirsty vengeance of knowing the person was brought to justice… in whatever way that fell.
"I can promise that I won't hunt them down. But I can't promise that I won't be forced to face them." The lie blended within his words. There would be no need for a hunt. The killer was laying in bed with Derrick's sister, holding her tenderly like he had the right to. But he knew one day he would have to face the music and come to terms with his part in Derrick's death.
"Okay." It alleviated some of the guilt that wanted to press her down. At least he wouldn't jump out of bed and stalk out of the apartment once the sun rose to find the person responsible for killing Derrick. He may very well still leave her alone in the apartment once the sun crested the horizon and do the bidding of the men that worked with Gerry. She had heard too much of the planning and logistics of the newly established criminal families. Her stomach rolled with the information, and she sucked in a rapid breath.
"I just want you to be free Niko. I know that's what you want." Her hand slipped below the blankets to search out the junction of his elbow where his tattoo rested. Her fingers brushed against his skin, trying to force her own insecurity down, "You've told me so many times, in so many ways, that you want to be your own man. To make your own decisions. And I know that means I need to back off to allow you to make those choices. That I could be clouding your judgement." Her eyes sought out his in the stillness of the early morning twilight.
"You aren't clouding my judgement. If you back away any further it…" Niko felt her fingers still on his arm and he slipped his hand against her cheek, tucking her face into his palm, "If you leave, it could very well break what's left that's holding me together." Out of everything he had been dwelling on, he knew that if they went their separate ways, he would be worse off. He wouldn't be able to keep his eyes on her. The not knowing what she was doing or who she was with would eat him alive. The danger would intensify.
He knew deep down that she was holding his rage at bay. She was keeping him from sliding further into the darkness that floated on the outskirts of his consciousness. But it was his own reservations about being deserving of it all that kept him from the leaping forward.
"Oh Niko." Kate used his arm to help her lean up off the bed to press a loving kiss to his lips. His words hushed the multitude of concerns and doubts. He needed her just as much as she needed him. If that didn't prove where they needed to be within each other's lives, then they were just simply lying to each other.
His heart thumped painfully in his chest as she moved her lips against his. Slowly he returned the passion and cupped the back of her head, threading his fingers between the silky strands of her reddish brown hair. He tilted his face ever so slightly to show her just what he meant without needing to vocalize it. He was never good with words, especially in a foreign language, but he had learned how to body talk with her. Her knee bumped against his leg, and he lifted himself up to hook her leg under his and pin her partially beneath him, forcing her to roll fully to her back.
He used his free arm to prop himself up to lean over her, deepening the kiss. Sometimes he felt they spoke too much when all they needed to do was surrender to how they felt and just give in to what lay between them. So many nights out in their past had been spent simply looking at one another and enjoying the give and take between them. The stolen glances, soft smiles, lost signals for the other to make the first move. There was a quiet bond that tethered them to each other, waiting for them to find it and pull.
Kate let him roll her to her back and adjusted her hands on him in order to run them down his sides. The second she brushed over where he could have been shot by her, she felt her entire body shudder in relief. Not a single scratch or injury was felt below the pads of her fingers. Only unmarred skin greeted her over toned muscles. Her toes curled as she traced over the deep crease along his hip bone down toward where she could feel him hardening against her leg. It was her favorite cut of him and somewhere in the more wicked side of her mind, she wondered what it would be like to run her tongue along it.
Her fingers on his sensitive flesh encouraged him on, and he lowered her head back down to the pillow, following the movement with his mouth. Kissing her chin, below her jaw, and down the thin column of her neck. He was slow, languid with his movements, wanting to draw it out. It felt different between them now. Like something had been lifted off of them and they could breathe more freely, express themselves more openly. Her hands snaked up his body to cup his face, once more bringing him up to her face.
"Niko?" Her small, timid voice stirred his need to protect her to life. He paused in his attempt to capture her lips again when her eyes connected with his own. The stark fear that clouded her usually lust filled expression, stilled his own warming blood.
"No more being scared tonight. Everything is okay." His hands dipped below her shoulders and cradled her body, "Don't worry any longer."
"You won't leave in the morning… will you?" She needed one last reassurance before she could just let go completely. This irrational fear that he would just close himself off and head off into danger, leaving her behind like he had done everyone else at the hospital, and never be seen again would not leave her alone. He was so cold in her bedroom when he spoke to Bobby. Understandably so. But what if the chill was too great for him to shake?
"Лепа (Lepa) I will not leave. Not unless you tell me to. I have told you before." He searched her eyes trying to figure out where these thoughts were coming from.
"I know. I'm sorry." She chewed her lip and forced her brain to cut it out. It was ruining the moment between them. Carefully she trailed her fingers through his scruff that was forming along his jawline. It was rough, prickly, but when it was pressed to the flesh of her neck it would cause tremors along her spine.
He tilted his face to the side to catch her fingers as they got close to his mouth, kissing them softly, "Kate. I love you."
"And I love you." She repeated the sentiment back, trying to cup his face to get him to kiss her.
"Then let me love you how I know how." He leaned down to her waiting lips and gently placed his against hers. He slid his hands further under her, closing the space between their bodies, deepening the kiss. The skin on skin contact made him shudder as his blood once more carried endorphins around his body. This time her body relaxed in his hold and pressed into him. Her lips parted with his nudging, and he caressed his tongue along hers.
Her moan was soft and was more felt than heard as it vibrated in her chest. He changed the angle of the kiss and used his elbows to prop himself up more to be in control. Her body arched up to maintain the contact and he used the space under her to drag his hand down her back to the indentions above her butt. His other he shifted up her neck to bury it in her hair, cupping her skull, effectively keeping her in place. He wanted to brush his leg against her folds but would take his time building her back up. To build back the trust and safety between them.
Kate closed her eyes and let go of the ledge she had been grasping. The tightness across her shoulders and spine released at once and she looped her arms around his neck, holding him to her. The incessant need to feel him everywhere consumed her when his arms surrounded her. The coldness that felt glued to her skin vanished the longer he kept teasing her mouth with his own. He broke away, pulling her bottom lip between his teeth and this time the moan couldn't be contained, breaking free and rattling her soul.
Her body was responding to him, almost begging him to lessen the pain and anguish that tried to pry itself between them. Her hands shook against him as they held on. Her breathing was shaky and unsteady. Even her moan sounded laced with pain. He would silence those fears in the only way he knew how. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and kissed her spot as softly as he could. He nudged her neck with his nose to get her to tilt more open for him.
She complied with his soft instruction, following his lead and letting him take charge. She needed this. Wanted this. Her heart just wanted to let him in wholly and no longer hold back. There would always be fear, danger, the unknown that would shift her world sideways, but that was bound to happen when it came to them. If she truly wanted to be with him till the end of time, then she would need to accept that darker, scarier side. The unknown was half the battle and was a journey of its own waiting to be taken.
He could remember where every single blood bruise had been on her body the night he had rescued her. Where every cut, mark, injury she had sustained at the hands of his enemies. He kissed the spaces on her neck, asking for forgiveness one more time. He worked his way down her neck to her collarbone, where there had been a long thin cut outlining the bone. He listened to her whimper and paused to glance up to her face.
"Don't stop… please." Kate pleaded with him, willing the tears to not come. She lifted her hand to drift her fingers through his hair, giving him permission to keep going. That it was okay.
"Let me show you how beautiful you are to me..." He gave her the words he had whispered the night they had first made love. He dropped his eyes away from her face and back to the memory of where she had been harmed.
His words broke her resolve and she let one tear slip free from her eyelashes. She blinked up at the ceiling as every sensation from that night, which felt so long ago and far away, resurfaced in her. He had focused all his attention on her, showed her what it meant to be held and touched lovingly and not in violence. He had erased the ache from her body and shifted the dark thoughts to ones of passion filled dreams. Her legs shook as she remembered what it was like to feel his wet fingers dip down into her folds.
He shifted his weight just enough to let her leg free from under him and he settled between hers. Carefully he removed his arms from under her and slid up her nude body, "No more tears tonight beautiful." His accent with his home language always sounded rougher than he meant it to, but her tears were worrying him.
"Show me Niko." She didn't trust her voice to not crack, so she whispered the hushed words into the silent morning. She swallowed thickly when she forced herself to look at him. His eyes shone in the dim light that filtered in from the uncovered window. Moonlight, brighter than any other night, nearly reflected off of his bare shoulders, casting dark shadows across his facial features. He was a solid wall of comfort and protection. He had made so many promises to her, and while he may say he broke them, she was alive because of him.
Her hands landed on either of his cheeks and she softly held his face, "Show me." She repeated the words again with a little more confidence. She would always marvel at the way he could convey entire sentences with a simple look, but in this moment, she saw. She saw all of him. There was no built up wall between them, no failsafe to keep unwarranted pain at bay. He was raw, open, honest.
He couldn't be sure why things were so different now. He didn't want to dwell on it. He loved her and that was all that matter to him now. Silently he lowered himself down to her body and kissed her deeply, letting his hands roam to her shoulders and up her arms. He laced their hands together and dropped them down to the covered mattress. He dragged their intertwined hands up toward the pillows, using his core strength to keep from crushing her beneath him as he devoured her mouth.
The coil harshly twisted inside her womb, and she arched up into him with a groan. He held her down and it excited her in ways that should normally scare her. Niko had a way of pulling the more adventurous side out of her and she longed to let it out, lead her where it wanted.
He pressed himself against her center with her groan, feeling her legs shift and move to give him better access. The dampness greeted his flannel pants, and he returned the moan with the feel of her. He left her lips to find her spot once more and suck the flesh into his mouth. The mewl that broke free from her lips with his harsher treatment licked a delicious line of pleasure down his spine. He pressed against her hands in warning, letting her know not to move, before roughly trialing his hands down her arms to her chest. His fingers found the soft mounds easily and flicked across the stiff peaks.
Another throaty moan slipped past her open lips when he pulled one of her nipples into his mouth to tease it mercilessly. He switched back and forth, making sure he didn't leave one with less attention than the other. Every time his tongue would lash against the pebbled nipple, he would hear another breathless whine echo out into their shared bedroom. He watched as her hands slipped under the pillows, grabbing at them to keep from reaching out to him. He smirked with her submission.
But did he really want her to just submit to him?
The thought tried to derail him. Bobby had thrown an insult toward him that didn't sit well with him.
He quickly shook himself from thoughts about the asshole tied up in the McReary house and back to the panting woman beneath him. His eyes landed on the very faint scar from the bite mark above the swell of her breast. There was only one or two thin lines and to everyone else they wouldn't notice it. But he could vividly remember the dark purple and sluggishly bleeding punctures. He moved his body up and placed a kiss over the spot, wishing it had never been there to begin with.
The kiss to the area forced a harsh shiver to rake over her body. It had been unexpected, and the place had become more sensitive over time as it healed. The brush of clothing, the scrape of her loofa, anything that touched the scarred skin felt more intense. Her hands fisted harder into the pillows as he kissed it one more time and she involuntarily lifted her hips to grind against him. It must've been enough of an encouragement to him as he ran his tongue over the spot quickly before kissing his way back down to her breast.
He paid each breast more attention, burying his own doubts about the way he loved her body. She had never shied away from him. Never recoiled in pain or in fear. So he clearly wasn't causing her pain during their intimate moments. There was never a time where she asked him to slow down or stop, even when he was rougher with her. Her hips bucked up into him again as he gently pressed his teeth to her tender flesh, before soothing the skin with his tongue.
"Niko…!" His whimpered name whipped against him, and he tried to ignore the way his mind wanted to twist it in a sinister way.
"Niko please. I-I need-" She gasped when he rolled his hips into hers, silencing her question. He had been teasing her, building her up, and driving her heartrate to dangerous limits. She was almost positive she had bit her lip too hard, and it was bleeding. Everything felt raw, exposed, and each brush of his skin or mouth wanted to curl her toes and roll her eyes back into her head.
He worked his way back up her throat, kissing her flesh tenderly, affectionately, making sure she pleaded with him when he slowed his movements. Once he reached her lips, he cupped one of her cheeks and brushed his knuckles over the place her cut had been. It wasn't noticeable from a distance, but up close he could see the faintest of white lines that had been caused by Natalya's slap.
She looked up into his eyes and could see the hunger there, and she felt the same desire deep in her bones. Her body felt so incredibly, tightly wound. She lifted herself up from the bed to kiss him, leaving her hands where he had placed them.
"Touch me, Лепа (Lepa)." He mumbled the words between heated kisses. He needed her to reassure him that he wasn't rough and demanding. That this was something she wanted just as much as him. He knew he could be intimidating, and every time they had ever had sex replayed in his mind. He was always leading. Always the one who took charge and made sure they each reached their finish. He broke off and kissed her cheek wishing his brain would just turn off for a second.
Kate tilted her head to the side when his lips brushed against her cheek, giving him access he silently asked for. Her hands left their place of under the pillows and immediately attached to his sides, searching out the would be bullet wound and cut of his muscles that made her knees turn to jelly. Her fingers ran over and over the crevasses of his hips, stomach, v-cut, over each and every muscle that gave him the ability to love her body long into the predawn light. His slight tremble caused a smile to lift her lips. It was always satisfying when he reacted to her touch.
Hazy lust took over his tumbling mind and he tucked his face down into her neck, going for all the places he knew would make her shiver in anticipation and moan out his name. When her fingers dipped down into the hem of his pajama pants, he groaned. Her touch was too light, and it made him want to grab her hand and press hers more firmly into him. To guide her down to grab him and stroke over his length.
She grabbed the edge of his pants and tried to work them down over his hips. She wanted to feel him against her, to be joined as one, to feel full and complete. He lifted his hips just enough for her to shove them down past his member. As soon as he was free, her hand took hold of him and started to pump him the way she knew he liked. He was so hard and would twitch when she circled his head. His breath hitched against her neck, and his reaction was all she needed to feel her own body clench.
He thrusted against her hand when she gripped him harder, and before he realized what she was doing, she directed him to rub along her entrance. The slickness shook his arms and his weight pulled him down against her. His hand tucked under her head and through her hair, jerking her back to his face. He crashed his lips against hers as he tried to find her entrance. Their bodies were so firmly pressed together, and the friction was mind altering.
She guided him to where she wanted him and held him there, spreading her legs out further to change the angle. She returned his fevered kissing best she could, but once his free hand grabbed her hip, his fingers digging down into soft flesh, and he fisted his hand into her hair, she hissed in pain. He lessened his hold almost instantaneously, lifting up to check on her. His scared expression almost made her laugh… but the longer she stared up into his eyes, the more she thought something was seriously wrong.
"I'm- I'm sorry." Niko released her hair and slid his hand out from under her head.
"It's okay. It's okay." Kate stroked over him firmly, watching as he shivered, "I'm okay."
He went to pull away before she jerked her hips up to meet his, bumping the tip against her wet entrance.
"Don't pull away from me." Kate whispered softly, giving him a gentle, encouraging smile. His eyes switched back and forth between her own as if looking for his own answers and assessment of her words. They held their positions, neither one of them willing to move from the spot of almost being connected completely. The room was filled with their labored breathing and quiet hum of the heater once it kicked on. The traffic noise down below was minimal and almost nonexistent as if the city didn't want to break the moment for them.
"I don't want to hurt you." He meant it in so many ways. He didn't want to bruise her body, to leave marks of any kind behind that she would have to hide from the world. He didn't want to treat her roughly as they lost themselves to the intoxicating spell of lust. He didn't want to…
He didn't want to break her heart.
"You don't know how to hurt me Niko." She confidently spoke the words into the still bedroom of Niko's apartment. She trusted in that fact. Could he get handsy in bed? Sure. So could she. But he would never willingly hurt her. Accidents happened, and they were bound to continue to discover what they did and didn't like. She lifted her one free hand and ran it up his side to dip below his arm to be able to cup his face, "Trust yourself with me. Trust yourself, like I trust you."
"Волим те (Volim te)"
The words felt so right leaving his lips. He closed the space between them and kissed her, thrusting against her hand to let her know to release him. Her hand pumped him one last time before going to wrap around his waist. He slid in so easily, seating himself fully into her tight, warmth. He shuddered at the way her body welcomed him and held him. Her arms pulled him flush to her and her legs lifted to wrap about his waist. She gave to him everything, and it left him feeling so needed.
Kate held him to her as he slowly rocked in and out of her. It was different this time. Different from every other heated, scorching inferno that took them over the edge. This felt… Her eyes closed as his arms dipped below her body and held her tightly, almost desperately. He wasn't rough in his need to feel her. He was gentle, thoughtful, thorough. His face found its way to the crook of her neck and didn't move. She ran her hand over the back of his head, trying to sooth the trembling of his body.
He had never felt so connected to someone in his life. He didn't feel the urgency to pound into her to find his completion, to get her to the edge as quickly as possible. No, this time he wanted it to last as long as possible. To never leave this wholeness that spread throughout his chest. He kissed her neck, collarbone, wherever he could reach from his position cradled to her body. He slid in and out of her, savoring every sensation her tight channel produced. His toes curled when her walls fluttered around him when he buried himself fully.
The simplicity shouldn't have her going so soon, but God, what he was doing to her was on a new level. Her heart was ready to burst, her insides clenched so severely that she could almost go again, and she rocked up against him to get him moving once more. She tightened her legs over his hips and held him firmly with her arms. She clung to him and moved in time with his body as he started up the tender loving once more.
He was starting to pant with the way she held him. He shifted up the bed and used his knees to gain leverage in order to thrust deeper and hit her more hard to reach spots. The vibration of her moan let him know he was doing all the right things. Her nails lightly scraped over his scalp, and he shoved himself into her harder, eliciting another moan of his name to drift past her parted lips. He kept their bodies pressed together, not wanting anything to be able to come between them. No space, no random strangers, no doubt inducing words, no wedge to be created from fear of the unknown future that laid ahead.
In this moment it was just the two of them and that was all he could ever hope for in his life.
He lifted his face from the safety of her body to kiss her lips, silencing the building pitch of his name. He adjusted his hold of her only slightly to be able to get into a better position to love her body. She moved with him and didn't miss a beat with the way he changed the tempo. It wasn't rushed at all, and he enjoyed it even more with the way she met him halfway.
Kate felt so safe in his arms, held to his body the way she was, connected to him in not just body, but mind and soul. Everything was humming and singing together with her. It was perfect. No distractions, no end in sight, no need to get to the end. Just enjoying the movement of their bodies as they showed the other what it meant to be with them. Glimpses of white lace, lush flowers, and church bells wafted across her blissful state of mind as Niko rocked into her with more urgency. It knocked her back to the present and she broke off their kiss to take in a deep breath.
Her eyes fluttered open when he lifted his face from hers. Their eyes met and she could read how much he loved her. Tears welled in her eyes at the sheer beauty his expression held. Her heart skipped a beat or two before racing into overdrive. She felt her body charging for the end and used her heels to spur him on. To get there with her. To tumble as one over into the ecstasy bliss that was their love making.
He sped up just enough and changed the angle to give her the friction he knew she needed to climax. But he refused to look anywhere but to the love he could see in her eyes. She trusted him in ways no one else had ever given him the chance to. She placed her safety, life, body, heart into his hands and it terrified him… but also humbled him. Her walls tightened their hold around him and he shivered as his own end built up.
"I love you, Niko." Kate whispered the words between heavy breaths.
"I love you, Kate." Niko thrusted into her quickly before emptying himself into her as her body shook with her own orgasm.
The heater clicked off in the apartment dumping them into silence that was only broken by their labored breathing. The silvery light continued to spill into the room and reflected against the lone tear that worked its way down Kate's face, dripping back into her hairline. He knew it wasn't from sadness, but from a place of wonder and joy. The same feeling he was experiencing as it coursed through his body in time with the pulsing of his heart.
Kate sucked in air trying to cling to the joy that hung around them. She wanted him for the rest of her life. If that meant they stayed this way till they were old and gray, then so be it. If it meant marriage, kids, finding a way to pay for college and future weddings, then so be it. Whatever way Niko wanted to be in her life would be enough for her. In the quietness of his upscale apartment, she had found her happily ever after. She was happy with him. And that happiness would have to sustain her through whatever trouble lurked beyond the brick walls of their safe haven.
Niko shifted enough to be able to trail his fingers over her hair along her forehead. She was breathtaking to him in their tender moments after love making. She looked innocent, pure, and just so full of love for him. He wanted to capture this image of her and keep it in his mind forever. He didn't know how much time they would be gifted before the world dragged him away from her. Too much waited for him once the sun rose up to greet the city. But he did know one thing for certain- He would make them work and last.
He leaned down and kissed her smiling lips, "It's our bed Kate. Not mine."
She laughed, too surprised to understand why he felt like now to correct her earlier quip. But it melted her heart at the sincerity of his face, "Alright. Our bed. Anything else?" She smiled brightly as she shook her head at his antics.
"This is our place. The place we can build our future together in." Niko moaned when she rocked her hips up to meet his.
"Then maybe we need to make a few more memories before the sun comes up?" She shivered beneath him when his eyes darkened into the lustful stare she was used to seeing cross his face when he got mischievous.
"I have somethings in mind…" Niko flexed himself in his buried position and loved the way her moan rolled off her tongue.
"Oh? Do tell."
"Not tell… Show."
They didn't know how much time passed between them as they continued to love each other till the moon dropped below the buildings. But neither seemed to pay time any mind as they discovered new ways to show one another how much they loved, wanted, and needed the other. The give and take between them had certainly evolved from simple stolen glances into stolen kisses between mind blowing orgasms.
They matched each other's level of trust and care, not wanting the other to feel left out or alone. And while they tried to stifle the uncertainty that hung over the next morning, or the one after that, they would focus on the moment. For it wasn't guaranteed. Too much had nearly taken the other from this plane of existence. Bombs, knives, guns, people from their past. They walked dangerous lives. But they would walk it together.
For Niko would never let her fall into danger again.
And Kate wouldn't let Niko tumble back into the darkness.
As their bodies grew tired, their hearts full, and their souls as one, they slowly drifted off to sleep wrapped up in the other's arms. Knowing that the safety and love they yearend for in life was found in each other. They could find their happily ever after.
For it existed here in their apartment.
aaaaaa
This coming weekend is gonna be hella crazy for me so, and this time I mean it, I probably won't get to update this story till November. But we shall see. I've got the writing bug finally and I'm trying to capitalize on it. After months of feeling drained, this is a refreshing break.