Author note- Hey, just wanted to say thank you so much to the people who've left me reviews. They keep me writing. Also welcome to the new followers. Hope you enjoy the new chapter.
Song inspiration- Human- Christina Perri (Harry)
Chapter 58
But I'm Only Human
Severus stood over Harry waving his wand. It had been four days since he had brought the boy to the hospital wing. Harry had yet to show any sign of improvement. He was completing his afternoon ritual. Spelling the boy's potions into his stomach, banishing waste from his body, casting freshening charms over him, and running tests.
The small group who was aware of Harry's current situation had fallen into a pattern rather quickly. Severus watched Harry during the day while Draco did lessons with Minerva. Minerva and Draco would come for a while in the evening. Then Lupin and Black would arrive and take over. Then Severus and Draco would go home, eat dinner, and go to bed.
Poppy was taking over at some point in the night and making Remus and Sirius sleep or go home.
George was a constant presence. He never left for more than an hour. Fred had been by a few times, as had Arthur and Molly. Their visits were short, and they often seemed more to check on everyone else. Molly had cooked and brought them all dinner one night and last night she had arrived with 'comfort items'.
Harry now had an ugly knitted blanket over him and there were several photos on the table next to his bed.
Remus had placed Harry's bag, wand, and glasses on the side table as well. Severus considered pointing out that Harry didn't wear his glasses anymore. Harry seemed to only wear them when he was in the form that they had all known before this summer. It was part of a disguise really. However, he had let the matter drop.
Remus had looked so broken, and Severus knew that he was just trying to make it feel like Harry was going to wake up. When he did, he might want his wand and his glasses. So, there they sat.
Albus made a habit of dropping by occasionally throughout the day, though he never stayed longer than to get an update. He had yet to say anything else to Severus, for which he was grateful. The man could be trying at the best of times, and that was not now.
Severus reached out and gave Harry's hand a gentle squeeze before he stepped back. Despite Draco's claim that Harry's hand had moved that first day, there had been no other sign like it since.
"Have you eaten?" Severus asked the red headed boy sitting next to the bed.
George shook his head and Severus sighed.
"You should take a break for a while. Go home and have a real shower and meal." Severus said quietly.
George looked up at Severus, and he could see the exhaustion plain as day on his face.
"I want to be here when he wakes up." George said in a horse whisper.
Severus nodded and looked over George's head for a moment in thought.
"I know I don't know Harry as well as you do, but I've learned how much he cares about the people around him. It's almost a painful level of concern. I really don't think he would want you to do this to yourself. You're going to make yourself sick." Severus said softly.
George looked down and nodded a little.
"I've given him lots of things over the years that he didn't want but definitely needed. A coat one winter when he didn't have one. Food from my own stash of mum's baking, when he needed snacks because he couldn't stomach whole meals in the hall. My attention when he was hurting so bad that all he could do was sit and cry." George said.
"He might not want me here, but he needs me. He needs someone who isn't going to question him or judge him or make him do anything when he wakes up." George said with conviction.
Severus looked down and thought about that. He knew George was right. There would be a lot expected of the boy the moment he woke up. Poppy would have tests, and everyone had questions.
"That is very noble of you. I still think a short rest wouldn't hurt. If he starts to stir, I promise I'll wake you." Severus said earnestly.
George stared at Harry for a long moment and finally nodded.
He stood and as he had done every time, gently brushed Harry's hair away from his face and promised to return.
Severus groaned when he saw a swirl of garish red robes approaching. Minerva and Draco would be here soon, and he'd hoped Albus wouldn't check in today until after he'd left.
"Good evening, Severus." Albus said as he came to a stop at the end of Harry's bed.
"Evening, Headmaster." Severus responded with a nod.
"There haven't been any changes." Severus informed Albus.
The old man's face pinched slightly before he nodded.
"I see." Albus said with a sigh.
Severus expected the man to leave at that point. He was surprised to see that Albus was still standing at the end of the bed.
"Was there anything else?" Severus asked.
"I'd like to have a word in private, if you don't mind." Albus said.
Severus groaned internally. Albus had phrased it like he had a choice, though he knew he didn't.
"If anything changes, get Poppy from her office." Severus instructed George.
The boy had rested for less than an hour before he'd been back in his chair.
George didn't look up, he simply nodded.
Severus followed Albus out of the hospital wing and into the hall where he immediately felt heavy wards put up.
"I've tried to be patient Severus, but I need to know what happened. I trusted you with the boy's safety and while that trust was shaken early on, I thought the two of you were getting along." Albus said stiffly.
Severus sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
There had been much hushed debate about whether or not to confront Albus. While the boy's current condition wasn't his fault, they all agreed that had Harry not been left with his relatives, his mental state might not have been where it was.
They had yet to come to a unanimous decision and ultimately it was up to the mutts. Sirius was ready to curse the old man for everything he had left Harry to suffer. Remus on the other hand was hesitant to reveal anything. He was mostly concerned about Albus trying to take control of the situation by trying to regain custody of Harry.
A point that Severus said was impossible given their natural relationship to the boy. However, that fact still had not been revealed to Albus either.
Severus felt like a calm sit down with them all present would put the best odds in their favor. Albus may try to deny knowledge or responsibility, but he would have little ability to manipulate the situation if confronted with all five of them.
Minerva and Poppy had mostly agreed with him.
"I'm not sure it's my place to say, Albus." Severus said.
Albus' face pinched in slight anger at being denied.
"Severus, if you've done something to the boy, I need to know. I could be held responsible for placing him with you, as you were never officially his guardian. I know you two don't get along, but this is drastic. How did Harry get to this point? Surely, you must know something." Albus said.
Severus felt a bit like shouting in the old man's face about his responsibility for having placed him with his previous guardians. That he and Harry had moved past most of their animosity and what existed now was a sense of betrayal on Harry's part.
"I did nothing to harm the boy if that is what you are implying. It isn't my place to tell you more at this time." Severus growled.
Albus sighed and Severus saw the disappointment in his eyes.
"Very well, we may need to readdress this another time. I can sense the hostility from the others. I'm aware I've made mistakes, but I thought I could trust you to keep Harry safe." Albus said with a sigh.
Severus grit his teeth and looked away from Albus. He truly could not believe the man right now.
With a sigh he headed back to the hospital wing. He did not want to leave Harry for long.
Harry floated in a strange haze. Somewhere in between awake and asleep. Perhaps somewhere between alive and dead.
The darkness that had so pleasantly welcomed him had long since disappeared. He'd been trapped in a torment of his own mind. Stuck behind his heaviest occlumency barriers.
Moments of calm would come over the forest and the animals would wander amongst the trees. The wolf-dog was his constant companion as he would stroll. Sometimes he would just sit beneath a tree and ponder for a while.
Then a storm would whip over the forest and the animals would scatter. Horrific images would push their way into his vision. The hole in the middle of his mind seemed to be the source of many of the memories.
He screamed and cried and begged for them to stop, but he was unable to push them down or away.
Eventually the storms stopped, and he found himself here, in this strange numbness. He thought perhaps he was floating in the Black Lake. It was peaceful. Occasionally he felt invisible hands on his body. Squeezing his hand or brushing his hair from his face. He longed to lean into the comforting touches.
Just as quickly as they came, they disappeared.
He wasn't sure how he'd become trapped in his own mind. Perhaps this was the result of holding up his shields too long. He thought someone had told him not to do that. He couldn't remember when or why. Just as he couldn't really remember the memories he'd been forced to watch.
None of them made any sense, they just were. Neither familiar nor foreign.
A bubbling feeling had begun to grow in his chest, and he felt the invisible hand grasp his. He willed himself to grab it and hold it. Not wanting it to disappear. Not wanting to be alone in this place anymore.
He felt his fingers move slightly. The hand on his squeezed lightly and he squeezed back. He focused only on that and the bubbling in his chest.
When he blinked he was no longer floating in the nothingness of the Black Lake. He was staring at a white ceiling.
He blinked a few times, and the view didn't change. He was some place now. No longer adrift.
"Harry?" A voice called from beside him.
His eyes flicked over, and he saw George. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was greasy and limp. He frowned and Harry looked away.
He looked at the ceiling as he remembered. He remembered drinking the Draught of Peace. He remembered using his knife. He remembered what was in his head.
"No." Harry whispered softly as his eyes fell shut.
They'd found him. They'd found him and brought him to the hospital wing. Why hadn't he warded the door?
"Shhh…It's okay." George whispered softly. His hand gripping Harry's tighter.
The feeling, that a moment ago he had never wanted to leave, now revolted him.
He had part of Voldemort living in him. There was nothing worse.
He pulled his hand away from George and stared back at the ceiling. His heart raced as he thought. He needed to get out of here. He needed to get away.
He tried to move a little, but his body ached. He pulled up his magic and forced it around him in a shield. He didn't want anyone to come near him.
"Harry! What are you doing?" George's alarmed voice sounded from next to him.
Harry looked over and noticed that his shield was physically pushing George away.
A tear ran down Harry's cheek as he looked at George's worried face.
"I'm sorry." Harry said in a horse whisper.
George stood from his chair and laid his hand on the shield.
"It's okay. Can you let me in? Please?" George said softly.
Harry's heart felt like it was breaking. He didn't want to hurt George. He had always protected him.
Another tear rolled down his cheek. How could he expose George to what he was? How could he let anyone near him?
"Can't. It's wrong. It's all wrong." Harry sobbed. His body began to shake as the implication of not only what was in his head, but also what he had done began to sink in.
"Okay." George said, raising his other hand and laying it on the shield.
"I'll stay right here." George said firmly.
Harry wanted to push the shield further away and at the same time he wanted George to hold him and tell him that it was going to be okay. Right now, nothing felt okay.
Harry slowly pushed himself up and winced at every move.
Once he was seated, he noticed they were the only two people in the hospital wing.
"I can get the others, if you want to see them. Snape just stepped out with Dumbledore, and I think everyone else will be here soon." George said.
Harry shook his head wildly as he looked back at George with tear filled eyes.
"No." Harry choked out.
"Okay. It's just you and me right now. What do you need?" George asked softly.
Harry shrugged.
What did he need? He needed this thing out of his head. He needed to be dead so that it could be destroyed.
His body shook. He just wanted this to all stop. He didn't want this in his head, and he didn't want everyone digging through his past. It was painful and shameful. He just wanted someone who wasn't going to dig.
His eyes flicked back to George.
He thought about the comfort George had offered when he'd gone to their flat. How being held by him had felt safe.
Harry wrapped his arms around himself and dropped the shield as he began to cry in earnest.
"It's okay." George said stepping closer.
"What can I do?" George asked softly.
Harry felt very selfish in that moment. He knew how disgusting he was. He knew what was inside of him but in that moment, he just wanted someone to comfort him. He pulled his arms away from himself and held them open.
George just stood there for a moment. Harry felt the anxiety and hurt of rejection welling in his heart.
He closed his eyes as more tears rolled down his cheeks.
Then he felt a tap on his side and opened his eyes.
"Scoot over." George's voice was thick.
Harry looked up into his eyes and noticed they were a little glassy.
Harry moved over and George sat next to him. Then Harry felt his arms wrap around him.
He leaned into George and sobbed for all the things wrong in his life. George said nothing. He just held him protectively.
Harry pushed on his magic again and encased them in a strong shield. He wanted to protect this moment. This thing that he needed so desperately.
Severus pushed the Hospital wing doors open. He couldn't believe Albus. After everything he had done for the man. To accuse him of something like this was beyond ridiculous.
Severus froze when his eyes landed on Harry's bed.
George was sitting on his bed with Harry wrapped in his arms.
Severus shook his head and began marching towards the bed. He couldn't believe that Harry was awake. Nothing they had seen in four days suggested that he would even wake up.
When he was about two yards from the bed he hit a strong shield. He pulled his wand and as he was about to try and break the shield, George looked up and caught his eye.
Severus halted his movement.
The red-haired boy gave a soft shake of his head and then looked back down at Harry.
Severus felt lost as to what to do. He needed to check on Harry. Everything George had said ran in his head and he nodded.
Harry didn't need their tests or their questions right now. George seemed to think Harry was okay enough for the moment.
He tucked his wand away and quickly walked to Poppy's office.
"Severus?" Poppy said from her desk, as he stormed in and closed the door behind him.
"Harry's awake." Severus said taking long strides towards the floo.
Poppy jumped out of her seat and Severus raised his hand.
"Please wait a moment." Severus said.
He reached out and grabbed some floo powder and threw it in the grate.
"Minerva McGonagall's office, Hogwarts." Severus called out as he dropped to his knees.
"Minerva?" Severus called out.
He saw her walk over and kneel in front of the fireplace.
"What is it?" Minerva asked, her brows drawing together in concern.
"I'd like you to keep Draco a little longer if you don't mind. Harry's awake." Severus answered.
Minerva's lip trembled a little and she nodded.
"Okay. Yes, of course. Is he…? How is he?" Minerva asked.
Severus sighed and shrugged.
"I'm not sure yet." Severus answered honestly.
Minerva nodded.
Severus nodded and closed the floo.
"Lupin Cottage." Severus called as he threw in more floo powder.
"Severus? What happened?" Remus asked, approaching the fireplace immediately.
Severus cleared his throat.
"Harry's awake." Severus informed him.
Remus' eyes filled with tears, and he raised a hand to his mouth.
"Oh god." Remus whispered.
"I need to wake Sirius. We'll be right there." Remus choked out.
Severus nodded and once again closed the floo.
With a slight wince he pulled himself back to standing.
"Severus, we need to go check on him." Poppy said with urgency clear in her voice.
Severus nodded.
"George is with him. Harry has put up a rather intense shield around them and I'm hesitant to try and break it. I'd like to speak with Lupin and Black when they arrive and decide on next steps." Severus explained.
Poppy sucked in a deep breath and nodded. She sent a worried glance at the door of her office before nodding again and retaking her seat.
George held Harry tight against his chest and let him just cry. He'd been worried when he saw Snape approaching but the man seemed to understand his silent plea.
Harry was beginning to quiet now and George suspected he was going to cry himself to sleep.
He continued to gently rub his back.
George was surprised when he felt Harry begin to pull away. He released him and waited to see what Harry would do.
Harry sighed deeply and looked out across the hospital wing.
"How long have I been here?" Harry asked softly.
George sucked in a deep breath.
"Four days." George answered.
Harry nodded before he looked down at his hands in his lap and picked at the edge of the bandaging on his wrist.
"Who knows?" Harry asked.
George studied him for a long moment before he sighed again.
"I'm not sure. Snape and Malfoy brought you in. Remus and Sirius have been here every day. Fred came with me, but he's been keeping the shop open…" George said trailing off.
Harry swallowed hard and nodded.
"Mum and Dad have been by a few times." George said.
Harry nodded and gently ran his hand over the knitted blanket on his bed.
"Does Ron know?" Harry whispered.
"No. They didn't tell the others…we…We didn't know if you were going to wake up." George said choking on a sob.
Harry looked into his eyes and George could see all the hurt and pain laying just under the surface.
George swallowed hard and tried to keep his emotions in check.
"I need to talk to Dumbledore." Harry said flatly.
George's eyebrows creased in confusion.
"Why?" George asked.
Harry shook his head.
"I can't tell you. Not right now." Harry said softly, playing with a loose thread on the blanket.
George nodded.
"I'm sure everyone is in Pomfrey's office by now. They'll want to see you. Check you over." George said cautiously.
Harry just shook his head.
"I'm fine." Harry answered.
George wanted to shake him and tell him he wasn't fine in any sense of the word.
"Do you know who has my bag?" Harry asked.
George nodded and grabbed it off of the side table and handed it to Harry.
"Here." George said.
Harry stared at it for a long time.
"Can you find me a screen or help me to the bathroom so I can get changed?" Harry said softly.
George considered for a moment.
"I'm not comfortable leaving you alone Harry. I'll help you to the bathroom, but your stuff needs to stay with me while you change." George said softly but with a firm tone.
He would not give Harry the chance to hurt himself again. Not when they had just gotten him back.
Harry's shoulder sagged but he nodded.
Sirius was shaking by the time they reached Poppy's office. Remus had woken him up and told him to get dressed. When he'd gotten that done Remus had finally told him that Harry was awake. They were both anxious to get to the school, but Remus had tried to keep him calm.
When they arrived, he was surprised to find both Poppy and Severus in the office. Why weren't they with Harry? Had something gone wrong? His mind spun and his breath got short.
"What's going on?" Remus asked shakily from beside him.
He was always thankful when Remus was able to find the words he just couldn't seem to speak.
Severus nodded towards the two other chairs in the room. Sirius didn't feel much like sitting. He wanted to see Harry. However, Remus' hand on his arm guided him to one of the chairs.
"I stepped out of the Hospital wing for a moment to speak with Albus. When I returned George was sitting on the bed holding Harry. I tried to approach but Harry put up a shield. Not unlike the one he was holding when he returned from Madam Bones' house." Severus explained.
Sirius nodded.
"George indicated I shouldn't pull down the shield, and with someone with him I felt inclined to agree. I would rather not have Harry's first interaction with us be an attack." Severus continued.
Sirius shot a worried glance at Remus who was solely focused on Severus.
"If Harry is stable, I believe it would be in his best interest to send him home with you before Albus comes and interrogates him." Severus said.
Sirius was nodding before Severus even finished.
"I'm not sure about that Severus. Until he woke up, he was being supplied oxygen by spell. We have no idea what damage might have been done, not to mention his mental state. What if he makes another attempt?" Poppy objected.
Sirius bit his lip. There were so many unknowns. Harry had been assessed for several things while he was sleeping. His previous organ damage, that Snape had been making improvements to with potions, had gotten worse. They knew that there was damage. His mind would be a different matter. George holding him didn't even let them know if Harry had sat up on his own.
"We will check him out thoroughly before he leaves. I'm not suggesting that we don't. Lupin is a healer, in all but certification. Surely, he can monitor the boy for further complications." Severus said.
Sirius felt a little smile pull at the corner of his mouth. It was strange to hear Severus acknowledge Remus as a healer.
Poppy sighed loudly.
"I would feel more comfortable with him staying here. I understand the concern of Albus further upsetting the boy though. I think I could agree to him leaving, if I may do daily checks for a while." Poppy said.
Sirius nodded. He would agree to anything to just be able to take Harry home. He knew Remus wouldn't have a problem with it either. They both just wanted what was best for Harry.
"That would be fine." Remus said with a nod.
There was a knock on the door, and they all seemed to hesitate. They all feared upsetting Harry or messing up this situation. They all had little to no experience with situations like this. Remus had the most, as he had specifically studied mind healing. However, he had never practiced. Severus and Poppy delt with depressed students on occasion but neither had faced a suicide or attempted suicide in there years at the school.
Severus finally stood and walked to the door.
Severus was unsurprised to find George standing on the other side of the door.
"Has Harry settled?" Severus asked.
George sighed.
"He insisted on going to see the headmaster. I walked him there. I was just coming to let you know." George said softly.
Severus' heart leapt into his throat as he spun to look at the others in the office.
"What?!" Sirius said standing abruptly from his chair.
Severus took long strides to the floo.
"Albus Dumbledore's office, Hogwarts." Severus called out, throwing in the powder.
There was nothing.
"Dammit. The floo is blocked." Severus growled.
"Minerva McGonagall's office, Hogwarts." Severus called next.
"Severus?" Minerva answered.
"I need you to come to the hospital wing. Bring Draco." Severus said quickly before closing the floo.
"I'm sorry. I didn't think he should go, but I didn't really know what else to do. I kept his stuff, but he took a box from his trunk with him." George explained.
Draco appeared in the room and a moment later Minerva floo'd in.
"Draco please stay in the Hospital wing with George." Severus said walking past George in the door.
What on earth was the boy thinking?
Severus realized he should have stayed with Harry and George. He thought that Harry would be fine for a few minutes but clearly, he had once again let him down.
He could hear footsteps following him and assumed that they were all coming with him to Albus' office. He didn't yet feel prepared for the confrontation with Albus. He was far more concerned about Harry at the moment.
Why did he want to see Albus? Was he planning on confronting the man on his own? He knew what Harry was capable of. His actions this last week showed just how erratic his behavior had become. Would he attempt to attack Albus? Would Albus fight back?
Severus could feel his heart pounding in his ears as he approached the headmaster's office.
"Ice Mice." Minerva said to the gargoyle as they approached.
Severus stomach dropped when there was no movement.
She had definitely given the right password.
"Ice Mice." Severus said again. There was still no movement.
He shot an alarmed look over his shoulder and found the rest of the group looking just as concerned.
Albus sighed as he flipped through paperwork on his desk. He'd nearly completed all of the school-related work for the summer. Everything that Umbridge had done had finally been repealed. The budget for the new year had been approved. The book list for the new year was nearly ready, as soon as they decided on a defense against the dark arts teacher.
Albus sighed again. There weren't many prospects. He wanted someone they could trust. Moody had offered to come back but Albus was hesitant to pull his old friend from other duties.
There was also this mess with Harry to try and figure out. He didn't mean to accuse Severus, but he just couldn't understand what could have happened. The two seemed to be getting along well enough. Young Draco had gone with Harry on an extremely dangerous mission, so he did not believe he had done something.
He was pulled from his musing by a knock at his door.
His brows creased as he stood and walked across his office. He would normally just call for whoever it was to come in. However, the charm on his door had not informed him ahead of time of a presence. He pulled his wand and allowed it to hang loosely in his hand. Surely it was someone on the staff. The charm likely just needed to be refreshed.
When Albus pulled the door open he was taken aback by the sight that met him.
"Harry?" Albus gasped at the sight.
Harry stood with George just outside his office door. He couldn't believe the boy was awake. Poppy had informed him that there was only a small chance that the boy would ever wake up. That if he did, he would likely have severe brain damage. The amount of potion he had taken should have killed him.
Albus felt a tear slide down his cheek and relieved chuckle leave his lips.
"Harry wanted to speak with you. I'm going to head back to the hospital wing. Please walk him back when you're done." George said in a quiet, but serious tone.
Albus only nodded before stepping back to allow Harry into the office.
The boy's head was down, and his long hair hid his face. Albus had seen this version of Harry when he had miraculously apparated into the hospital wing.
Albus gave George one last nod before he closed the door and began walking back to his desk. He had not spoken with Harry much this summer, despite the many times they had seen each other.
"Would you like some tea?" Albus offered as he took his seat.
Harry was still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. His head raised a little and Albus could see his eyes. They were red rimmed, and his face was pinched in distress.
Harry shook his head, Then to Albus alarm raised his hands and began casting around his office.
They weren't spells Albus recognized but he could feel the enormous amount of magic pouring into the room. The oppressive feeling felt like heavy wards had been laid on top of them. Albus saw the fire in the fireplace go out and the portraits behind his desk all appeared to be asleep.
Harry did not have a wand in his hand and Albus had not heard the boy even mumble a spell.
He swallowed a thickly. This was astounding magic.
Clearing his throat, he folded his hands on his desk and focused on Harry. He was so happy the boy had woken up. He'd come to care for him a great deal over the years and had been devastated when Severus had brought him in.
"What can I do for you Harry?" Albus asked quietly. He would do what he could for him.
He hated suspecting Severus of having done something, however with what he'd learned this summer he wasn't sure what to believe. Severus had been mentally attacking Harry for months last school year. He'd attacked him again this summer.
Albus would protect the children over his professor. Even with his long history with Severus.
Harry looked down and pulled at his sleeve a bit. Albus caught sight of the heavy bandages on Harry's wrists.
"What do you know about horcruxes?" Harry asked softly. His green eyes glanced up, pinning Albus.
Albus felt his heart stutter a little. Surely Severus wouldn't have shared that with Harry. Albus had told them everything about the horcruxes that he knew. Except for Harry's connection. He couldn't bring himself to tell them. It was too heartbreaking. Too tragic. He planned to tell Harry after the other ones were destroyed.
"I'm aware of what they are. Why do you ask?" Albus said as neutrally as he could.
Harry's jaw clenched a little.
"Were you aware that is what my scar is?" Harry asked, his voice shaking.
Albus swallowed hard. How on earth had Harry learned that?
Albus considered lying for a moment. Saying he didn't know. That Harry was wrong. Protect the boy a little longer. He'd just gone through a major trauma.
"Yes." Albus said softly as he stared into broken green eyes.
Harry's hands clenched at his sides and a single tear ran down his cheek.
"Is that why?" Harry mumbled.
Albus brow creased.
"Why what, Harry?" Albus asked quietly.
Harry shook his head as another tear slid down his face.
"Is it why you left me there?! You didn't care what happened to me. Did you want me to kill myself? Why did you let them save me!" Harry shouted.
Albus was taken aback. This had certainly not been what he wanted.
"I know… I know I have to die. It's the only way for you to beat him. It's what the prophecy meant. That I have to die." Harry said through gritted teeth.
"I would have died for you. I would have died to save this world. To save my friends. You didn't have to do this. You didn't have to leave me there." Harry sobbed.
Albus stood from his desk and walked around it.
"Harry, I don't know what has happened. If Severus has done something, I want to know." Albus said softly, holding his hands up in a placating manner. Harry was getting increasingly upset. His magic was beginning to whip around him wildly.
Harry's head snapped up and he looked as if he'd been slapped.
"Snape is a good man." Harry growled.
Albus brows pinched together in confusion. He swallowed thickly as he approached Harry a little before a burst of magic pushed him back several feet.
"Left you where Harry?" Albus asked cautiously.
Harry's face pinched up in pain.
"With the Dursley's." Harry whispered hoarsely.
Albus felt his stomach lurch. What was Harry talking about?
"What do you mean?" Albus asked quietly.
Harry's jaw clenched again.
"You know what I mean. How could you not know? You sent me back to that hell over and over!" Harry half yelled, half cried.
Albus shook his head in shock.
"I don't understand." Albus whispered softly. He didn't even register the words leaving his mouth.
Several small glass objects exploded in the room.
Harry stared hard at him, hand's clenching and unclenching at his sides. Then something strange happened. Magic around Harry seemed to shimmer for a moment before fading. Albus recognized it as a glamour.
Harry's clenched right hand came to the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up. Albus felt his breath catch in his chest. Harry was nothing but skin and bones. As Harry turned slightly, he could see the thinly stretched skin was heavily marred with old scars.
Harry's hand fell and the glamour reappeared.
Albus felt tears sting his eyes. He closed his eyes and shook his head. How had he missed this?
"Harry, I didn't know. I never would have left you there if I'd known. I loved your parents like they were my own children. I was so afraid we were going to lose you too. I thought taking you to Petunia would protect you." Albus whispered softly.
Harry blinked several times before all the light seemed to disappear from his eyes. Heavy occlumency shields seem to be slamming into place.
Harry stared unseeingly at the headmaster. He didn't know. He didn't know. His mind repeated over and over.
Harry realized painfully that if he had said something, Dumbledore would have taken him away. He felt like he was going to be sick. He'd trapped himself there.
Harry knew then he'd worn his mask too well. He'd done everything in his power to not let them see. Smiled and laughed. Been brave and faced everything without tears. He'd done everything he could to keep everyone safe. In the end he'd condemned himself.
Playing the boy-who-lived had cost him everything. He'd played the part Dumbledore had wanted him to.
They couldn't see him. Couldn't tell he was breaking. Maybe they just didn't care. His heart felt like it was being ripped from his chest. The words felt like knives in his mind.
He didn't know it was possible to feel more pain than he had been feeling.
He bit his tongue. There was nothing he could say to Dumbledore.
His hands shook as he pulled the box from his pocket and resized it. He needed to give these to the headmaster and leave. He couldn't breathe in here.
Harry waved his hand and unlocked the box. Then he levitated all three destroyed Horcruxes out. He placed them on Dumbledore's desk. The box in his hand felt so much heavier that it should. The weight of all of it felt crushing.
"Nagini's a Horcrux too. It's why I can see through her eyes." Harry whispered quietly.
Harry shrunk the box and shoved it back into his pocket. With a few simple waves of his hand, he fixed the glass he had shattered and pulled down the protective spells.
"Harry." Dumbledore called as he turned towards the door.
Harry just shook his head. He couldn't take more right now. What could he possibly want from him now?
Dumbledore hadn't known about the Dursley's, but he had known about the horcrux in his scar. A horcrux, that to his revulsion, was still in his head. He'd caught a glimpse of it in the bathroom mirror when he'd been avoiding George's eyes.
Harry walked resolutely to the door. His body was shaking like he was going to fall apart.
He could hear Dumbledore following him. He couldn't be bothered with it right now. He just needed to get out of here.
His feet carried him down the stairs. He stepped into the hall and froze as he came face to face with Sirius and Remus. He looked around and realized Snape, McGonagall, and Pomfrey were all there too.
He pushed harder on the stone wall in his mind and walked past them all.
"Harry." Sirius called, but he couldn't. He couldn't face them.
Harry shook his head and continued to walk. He could only take so much, and he'd had enough.
Severus stared angerly at Albus. Gods only knew what kind of damage the old man had managed. He turned and followed the others back to the hospital wing.
"Severus." Albus called.
Severus shoulders tensed. He took a deep breath before he turned to look back at Albus.
"I would like you and the others to join me before they leave with Harry." Albus said flatly.
Severus didn't have time to respond before the old man swept back up the stairs to his office.
Severus sighed and shook his head.
When he reached the hospital wing, the mutts, Minerva, Draco, and George were all sitting in chairs near the back of the hospital wing. A curtain had been pulled around one of the beds and Severus assumed Poppy was running her tests on Harry.
He sighed as he walked to the others. He wanted to be in there helping Harry, but he knew the boy would not want him there.
"Albus would like to see us before you take Harry home." Severus said softly as he took a seat next to Minerva.
"Why?" Remus asked, his voice rough.
Severus shook his head.
"I don't know. Nothing good, I'm sure. Albus accused me of doing something to Harry earlier. He seems to be wanting to cover himself. Think's that if this is a result of my treatment that you might hold Albus responsible." Severus said thickly.
Remus' face pinched.
Minerva scoffed from beside him.
"We need to confront Albus. He can't just go around making baseless accusations." Minerva said.
Sirius and Remus both looked at one another with a nod.
"Poppy's checking Harry over." Sirius mumbled.
Severus nodded and looked across the hospital wing.
"Do you want us to stay with Harry?" George asked.
Severus nodded.
"Yes. Please do not let him out of your sight." Severus said with a nod, meeting George and Draco's eyes.
Severus had walked with the others to Albus office. Poppy's assessment of Harry had been mostly positive. His body was healing. He hadn't spoken a single word to her the whole time. George had confirmed that Harry had spoken. Whatever was happening now was something else.
They now sat in a half circle around Albus desk. The old man was just studying them. He cleared his throat and looked down at his clasped hands.
"How many of you are aware of Mr. Potter's home situation." Albus spoke softly. His sad blue eyes looked at each of them in turn.
Severus clenched his jaw. He glanced at the others. None of them seemed to know what to say.
Severus cleared his throat and leaned forward.
"Mr. Potter's abuse was uncovered this summer. We are all aware of the situation." Severus said quietly.
Albus eyes closed.
"Why did none of you come to me?" Albus said sadly.
"You were his guardian Albus. How could you not have known what was going on?" Sirius growled.
Albus' mouth got pinched as he looked back down at his hands.
"I have been aware of many unfortunate situations with students in my time as headmaster. Each case was unique, and I did what I could. My hands have been tied in many of those situations. Harry, however, would not have been in that position. I trusted the wrong people. Put too much faith in family. If I had even suspected, I would have removed him." Albus said firmly.
"We haven't exactly gotten that impression Albus. You had me trying to help you pull the wards back up a month ago. Clearly something was wrong enough for Harry to leave that house." Severus snarled.
Albus gave him a sad look before he shook his head.
"Harry has run away before. I…I mistakenly believed he was only being bullied. The Order reported that the cousin was bullying him. While it wasn't good, I thought he would be all right. He only needed to stay there for a few weeks." Albus said softly.
Severus groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. The lack of communication was completely unacceptable.
"Did you ever bother to check on Harry before he came to school?" Remus asked, his voice tight. Severus could tell the man was at his breaking point.
Albus nodded.
"Arabella reported to me once a month. She said the boy was small and shy. She never mentioned any signs that he was being hurt. I went to observe a few times. Harry was nearly hit by a car and had a bout of accidental magic one time. There were also a few times Arabella told me the muggle police had been to the house. I also went and observed every time the wards went off." Albus explained.
Severus wondered what the muggle police had been there for. What had set the wards off?
"Each time I saw Harry he seemed okay. I never interacted with him. Petunia made it clear that she would turn the boy out if the magical world interfered in their lives." Albus said.
"I thought he was safe. I'm sorry." Albus said softly.
Severus shook his head and leaned back in his seat.
They sat in quiet contemplation for a few moments.
Remus stood and sighed before burying his hands in his pockets. He pulled a folded sheet of parchment from his pocket and set it on Albus desk.
Severus couldn't see what it was.
"He is our son and you kept him from us. We're taking him home now." Remus said in a low, threatening tone.
Albus face broke as he looked at the page.
Severus was sure it was the first sheet of the diagnostic that he had given them.
Sirius stood and threw one last glare at Albus before following Remus out of the office.
Albus just stared at the page in front of him.
Severus knew how shocking that first page was.
Albus sighed and folded the parchment before folding his hands over the page and looking at the remaining three in the room.
"I'm sorry." Albus said meeting Severus and Minerva's eyes.
"I should have checked. I was so heart broken when James and Lily died. I knew I'd been asking too much of them. I couldn't see the pressure I was putting on everyone. I just feared what would happen. We were losing the war. I kept imagining a world run by someone who was happy to watch it all burn. It wasn't until they died that I realized I hadn't protected them enough. I wasn't going to make that mistake with Harry. I took him to the place with the strongest wards. I hoped it would be enough." Albus sighed, lowering his head in shame.
Severus had nothing to say.
Albus should have done the bare minimum and checked on Harry. Seen for himself that the boy was all right. Talked to him and actually listened once he'd come to Hogwarts. Instead, he had blindly believed that the only threats to Harry would be stopped by wards.
He stood and looked at Poppy and Minerva. He was leaving with or without them. He needed time to sort out how he felt about Albus.
Minerva waved her hand and Severus nodded.
He and poppy walked out of the office without another word.
Remus was fuming when he reached the hospital wing. Albus had just been blind to what was happening. He didn't know why that made him so much more angry than if he'd known. He supposed if Albus had tried to explain it away it would have felt like there was someone to blame. Instead, he'd been just as blindsided as the rest of them.
Remus stopped in front of the doors and took slow deep breaths. It wouldn't do to show up in front of Harry angry. A gentle hand landed in the middle of his back and rubbed soothing circles.
"Let's take Harry home." Sirius said quietly.
Remus looked over to find Sirius fighting tears. He'd been an absolute wreck for days. Remus hoped taking Harry home would help them all begin to heal.
Remus nodded as he heard footsteps following them. Severus and Poppy approached.
They stood quietly for a moment.
"Do you suppose Harry went to Albus to confront him?" Sirius said softly.
"Yes." Severus said quietly.
"He shouldn't have had to do that alone." Remus said brokenly.
Severus nodded in agreement.
Remus took a deep breath and met Poppy's eye.
"We'd like to take him home now. Is there anything else we need to know?" Remus asked.
Poppy shook her head.
"Severus gave you his regular potions, medication, and his inhaler. I'll be by tomorrow to check on him. I think you should probably discuss mood potions with Harry. They might be able to help. I won't recommend them just yet. I think he needs some time first, but I'd like to see him on them or improving in the next couple of weeks." Poppy said.
Remus sighed and nodded.
They all walked into the hospital wing and found the three boys sitting quietly near one of the beds.
Harry didn't even look up when they walked in.
"It's time to go." Remus said quietly from the end of the bed Harry was sitting on.
Harry nodded and climbed off the bed. He didn't acknowledge any of them. He just stood there blankly.
George walked over to Harry and wrapped him in a tight hug.
"It'll be okay. You come to me for anything. I love you and I want you safe." George said softly.
Remus knew that George had spoken too softly for the others to hear.
Harry did not return the hug and eventually George released him.
Draco said nothing and showed no sign that he was going to approach. Sirius stepped up next to Harry and laid his hand on Harry's shoulder.
Remus saw Harry flinch at the contact. He sighed before heading to Poppy's office with Sirius and Harry following.
Remus took some floo powder and threw it in.
"Lupin Cottage." He called.
Sirius gave Harry a gentle push. Harry stepped into the floo and was gone.
Remus brought a hand to his face and sighed. This was going to be a long road.
Sirius took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before flooing back to their house.
Remus took one last deep breath before following them.